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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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...wait, so first in Chapter 10 it turned out that Dr. Weathervane's reason for being is a lie, and now it turns out that Brimstone's only reason to get up in the morning is a lie too? My god this is soul crushing.
This chapter was REALLY good straight up until the end where I feel like you spelled out some stuff too hard.
And I really don't like Barb. I don't mean he's a bad guy, I mean he doesn't really do anything for me. He's just kind of a Level 1 boss to me. He's a bully who I'm just waiting for one of the bigger kids to get sick of his nonsense and remind him how weak he really is.
Also more rape-y stuff, but it's okay, I made a drinking game out of it and I didn't care by the end. But it'd be nice if there was a good-guy female character that wasn't a "damsel" from a plot perspective who wasn't just around to be a hostage to blackmail Murky into not progressing the story faster.
Anyway, the good, of which there was a lot!
You made it less silly in Filly by actually having slavers feed, heal, and protect slaves on account of dead slaves do no work.
You went more into Murky and his stuff with his mum which was awesome. You finally said what was going on with Glimmer which was a very interesting concept to explore. I also really really like the idea of Brim, someone who hates himself so much of what he was that feels he only deserves slavery. And Protege's interactions with the Murkster were great as usual.
ALSO! Glimmer has graduated from "neat expy character with a neat gimmick that'll be interesting to go into" (I guessed she was using memory orbs on herself pretty instantly) to a character with a story that I am really interested in. I want to know what she did that was so terrible that she hid from herself. It's honestly one of the most fascinating story developments I've come across in recent memory.
And the FORESHADOWING with the stuff with the monsters in the metro. I get a feeling this is even gonna tie into Fluttershy losing refugees in the way back when and I'm honestly excited. Bring on the new critters!
The riot was nicely intense and it was good to only catch glimpses of it. And I really liked the sacking of Protege's office and Shackles' locker, it gave a cute little contrast between the two characters (Protege has a diary, shackles has a "score card").
Honestly, this was a really great chapter all around and all the issues with it I have can be summed up by "I'm impatient" and "Some of this stuff is just not my taste".
A beast by no other name, the Warlord of the Raider Clans; Brimstone Blitz.
Celestia's mane, he's a being I would not want to even irritate let alone foolishly antagonize. I would find it entertaining for a no-holds barred fight to happen between Shackles and Brim.
My feels... they hurt.
I'm so glad that Glimmerlight didn't get raped. I was enough traumtized after that Project Horizon's scene... then again, that one was worse,
By the way, how old is Murky, more or less? And Glimmer? I mean, he thinks she's older than him by few years, but since he doesn't know, it might be just due to his small size.
Okay, there's something i really need to know about Brimstone Blitz to make sure I'm imagining him correctly. Am I right to presume that he speaks in a sort of Scottish accent? Its what I keep on getting the vibe of based on his speech traits.
I want Barb ended. His flesh to fertilize fields and his memories to become nothing more than cautionary tales. How I hate that motherfucker!
Dang it.... LET ME OUT!
Murky X Slit is my OTP. XD
you know what would be the greatest battle of all time, Brimstone blitz vs big daddy both in there prime
When they started going for Shackles' locker I stopped reading a couple times just to happily chant "Rob him blind!" under my breath :P
No no! Steal that too! It's obviously valuable to him, you can burn it later!
Or even better, it's evidence of his mindset and abuse you can give to Protege . . .
Typos:
The bag*?
*Contents
*raising
*Rise, I think.
*want to be
4872998 I think so. I think it mentioned him having a Scottish accent when he was first introduced.
I'm glad I finally got around to reading this, but there was one thing that really bugged me in this chapter.
They went into Shackles locker and found evidence of his wrong doings and... then put the file back where it belongs. I can understand Murky not grabbing it, considering his character arc, but Glimmer? She didn't think it would have been useful just in case? Sometimes I feel everyone is avoiding fucking Shackles over so he can continue to be the main antagonist.
Other than that, really digging this story.
7015249 Ey, shes hot.
O SHIT!! Bring on the war!!
Argh, WHY didn't Murk, or one of the others take the file?! I'm getting really fed up with Shackles and nopony doing anything about him when they clearly have a chance. One if them could have even just anonymously left it on the desk in Protege' s already open office!
I know the story is finished, but I'm deliberately avoiding spoilers. All the same, I really, really hope something bloody horrible happens to Shackles.
8166017
Yeah, that right there was nearly enough to make me stop reading. Im forcing myself through this awful mess of a story because ive already read and reread every other major(and many minor) Fallout Equestria stories. Since M#7 is considered one of the major additions I am forced to collect this information but this writing is below soap opera levels of painful. :/
7015249
Yeah, im not so sure about why this writer is constantly teasing that Murky is going to be violently sexually assaulted and/or prostituted, yet it has absolutely no bearing on the story and by all rights should have happened multiple times by now. Its like a frakin' Harlequin novel. :/
I'm a little infuriated they didn't take Shackle's file on the ponies he abused and killed. It's finally solid proof of the things he's done.The only good reason I can think for why they wouldn't is the possibility that Shackles would notice and track them down before they could do anything with the file. Raiders would definitely steal his regular belongings but only ponies with something against him would steal his file to use it against him.
Oh boy, next chapter is going to be fun alright.
I think this sentence is unfinished.
That's going to be a fucked up relationship with the power dynamics and capacity for consent...
But I ship it.
This. This is why we do lock out tag out.