• Published 19th Apr 2020
  • 8,007 Views, 35 Comments

Deer Tales - Uh-hmmm



It is not every day that you learn that a monster of legend is real, let alone friends with Rarity. If she had heard of the old stories, perhaps she would be more cautious. Or more daring. (RGRE) {Has first and second person versions}

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Second Person Version

You are Anon, eating a salad with all the fixings. It's one of the tastier things you can get at Flower Bed and Breakfast, and the view from the balcony is nice. The ground is a riot of colors, flowers blooming in every color of the rainbow, surrounded by high walls to keep ponies from grazing. The door to the balcony opens, and you hear a familiar voice.

"-recommend the lemon and lily parfait, it is simply to die for."

You turn to find Rarity leading two snooty looking deer, the buck trailing behind the doe. The buck sneers when he sees you.

"What is this, a malformed Minotaur?"

The doe frowns. Rarity turns on them, lifting her chin and speaking in a frosty voice.

"That is Anonymous, a good friend of mine, and I shall thank you to take back your words, Nether Meadow."

The buck scrunches, and the doe sighs.

"I apologize, Anonymous. My brother has led a very sheltered life. I am Hidden Valley, by the way."

You nod politely.

"Nice to meet you. I'm a human, to answer his question."

Nether sniffs.

"From the old tales? I doubt it."

Hidden licks her lips.

"Could you show me your teeth?"

You grin, flashing your pearly whites.

"How's that?"

She shudders, her cheeks reddening.

"Ah, thank you, that proves it. I apologize once again for my brother's behavior."

You wave dismissively and start to stand up.

"You're fine, but I do think I'll take the rest of my meal to go. See you around, Rarity, Hidden Valley."

Rarity frowns.

"You really don't have to-"

You shake your head ruefully.

"I've got some laundry to take down before the evening rain, which is really what I ought to have been doing half an hour ago. Don't worry about me."

Rarity sighs.

"If you insist. We shall simply have to talk another time, Darling."


You are Hidden Valley, watching the human leave out of your peripheral vision. You hadn't believed the old stories, even when you had found the older manuscripts with less foal-friendly tales. But when you saw those teeth, those uncanny fingers, the way his eyes smoldered as he met your gaze...

It is a good thing that you are sitting down. Nether huffs.

"I no longer have any appetite. Let us leave, Sister."

You sit up straight, resisting the urge to give him a taste of your hooves. You love your brother, you do, but he's been nothing but a burden this entire time.

"You're right, you should go back to our room and stay out of trouble. I'll meet you there after Rarity and I have lunch."

Meadow looks between your glare and Rarity's severe expression. His ears droop and he lowers his head.

"What if he's out there, waiting?"

“Don't provoke him and you'll be fine. Now go."

He whimpers, then trots towards the door, tail flat. You rub your face, trying to ease your headache. Rarity chuckles sympathetically.

"An older sister's work is never done."

You sigh and pick up the menu.

"Doubly so if the younger is a buck. Now, what did you recommend again?"





Thankfully, Rarity warmed up to you after that. You're almost thankful to Nether for providing some common ground to bond over.

"If you don't mind me asking, what old tales do you have about humans? Our legends are rather sparse on the subject."

You blink and swallow the spoonful of tart yogurt and lily petals.

"Well, the oldest ones talk about beings that haunt the cairns of forgotten kings, raiding into the woods for deer to prey upon, among other things."

Rarity raises an eyebrow.

"That certainly explains your brother's reaction, but you hardly seemed afraid at all."

You lick your lips nervously.

"There are other legends, but they are hardly something to share among polite company."

Rarity's eyes widen, and her polite smile morphs into a teasing grin.

"Shall we call your brother back, then?"

You laugh.

"You really want to know?"

The mare averts her gaze, feigning indifference.

"Far be it from me to pressure my new friend to tell me naughty tales about humans. I am far too well-mannered to- tell me tell me tell me!"

You giggle.

"Alright, alright. Now, these other legends talk about brave does who venture close to the black stone rivers and alabaster huts of human territory. There are many dangers there, great growling beasts that strike without warning, smaller familiars that scratch and bite. And of course, the humans that can gore a deer with a single shout."

Rarity listens with a rapt expression, and you find yourself growing more comfortable with the telling.

"There were others, but the most well-known of these does was Black Forest. She was walking in the woods on the outskirts of the human territory, and smelled something delicious, sweeter than any fruit. The food was colorful and crunchy, tastier than anything she had tasted before. That's when the vines tightened around her. Before she could react, a human tied her to some trees, her hind legs spread apart. Black Forest feared for her life then, but that was not taken."

By the blush on Rarity's face, you think she knows where the story is going. You feel a little awkward about describing the next part out loud, so you just sum it up.

"The human was a male and sowed his seed in Black Forest's every hole, until she could only lay exhausted upon the ground. The human untied the vines and left her there, never to be seen again."

Rarity fans herself, blinking rapidly.

"That's a good legend."

You are rather heated yourself, but you make an effort to casually resume eating your parfait.

"There are other legends, of humans, let us say, stealing a does' musk to attract bucks for his hunt. For some reason bucks don't find those stories as fascinating as does do."

Rarity smirks.

"I can't imagine why that may be. Sadly, pony legends of humans mostly involve carrying them on our backs for some reason. Hardly as exciting, outside of a certain frame of mind."

You nod sympathetically.

"That does lack a certain dangerous appeal."

As the conversation turns to less suggestive topics, you idly wonder what would happen if you were to linger around Anonymous' house. Perhaps you should bring some rope, if he doesn't happen to have any.