The big day is fast approaching, and Star is conducting her final rounds, checking in on each of her friends to make sure that everything is perfect, and having a little fun as she goes.
Not personally big on the pain play, but still pretty good overall. Seemed like a decent job of showing the work it took to keep things from getting out of hand even with mind control to spice that all up. For me the hottest part was what she did to Applejack, ironically.
Quick writing tip: When characters address one another in dialogue, indent the name or address with commas. That helps the reader immensely. For example:
10317763 So first of all: You could not possibly have come up with a better example to prove your point :D
Secondly, I love advice like this because its something i'm generally pretty bad with, so thanks a lot! I'll be keeping it in mind going forward but I hope you're not too disappointed if I keep missing the mark every now and then <3
I stumbled upon this at random, and am sure glad I did. You perfectly balance the character's natural personality / dialogue with the unusual situation. It feels evil, but not sadistic to the point of being cliche. Looking forward to more :)
Not personally big on the pain play, but still pretty good overall. Seemed like a decent job of showing the work it took to keep things from getting out of hand even with mind control to spice that all up. For me the hottest part was what she did to Applejack, ironically.
10314174
It's pretty understandable why its not for everyone,but I'm glad to hear you still found something to like!
I’m loving this, can’t wait for the next chapter
Happy to see this back, and with another great chapter.
10314353
I'll *probably* regret saying this but you shouldn't have to wait long <3
10314372
Happy to be back, and glad you liked it!
Easily the best chapter so far
Not completely my cup of tea, but keeping it psychosomatic helps. Definitely looking forward to seeing what Star has in store for AJ.
This was a lot of fun. Best chapter so far.
10314670
Wouldn't have happened without you, so glad to hear it <3
10315181
Stuff like this really helps, thanks so much
10315281
I like BDSM, what can I say?
Quick writing tip: When characters address one another in dialogue, indent the name or address with commas. That helps the reader immensely. For example:
vs
As you see, that can make quite a difference!
10317763
So first of all:
You could not possibly have come up with a better example to prove your point :D
Secondly, I love advice like this because its something i'm generally pretty bad with, so thanks a lot! I'll be keeping it in mind going forward but I hope you're not too disappointed if I keep missing the mark every now and then <3
I stumbled upon this at random, and am sure glad I did. You perfectly balance the character's natural personality / dialogue with the unusual situation. It feels evil, but not sadistic to the point of being cliche. Looking forward to more :)
10330492
I'm glad you found your way back to my degenerate little corner of this website!
I'm even glad...er(?) that you like this story, that sorta balance was exactly what I was shooting for, so i'm happy it comes across a bit.
10330853
I mean, a touch of light-hearted sadism is fine too 😛 Hands down the best part is Rarity's casual conversation about her daily routine.
How's the next chapter coming along?
10491179
Poorly!
I've been stuck at 85% done for a while now, I just can't seem to flesh out what's left to my satisfaction...
Sorry to keep you waiting
10491518
Yeah, I get that.
Maybe if you could show me what you have, I could offer something to help?
Where did you get the story picture?
10581449
https://www.deviantart.com/racoonkun/art/Starlight-Glimmer-EG-666724052
It's in the images source, I'm not sure why it wouldn't be visible