5): A Goat's Bell

As soon as I got to the top of the mountain, I assumed my troubles were over. I was very wrong. Standing ahead of me would be my hardest test yet, well, at least the most painful. At the top of the mountain was an old cabin that had clearly gone past its prime with twisted oak and dust everywhere. And sitting amongst all of this in a loud, creaky rocking chair was a dark blue goat with huge lower fangs, a plastic bell wrapped tightly around his neck, and a beard that reached past my hooves.

He looked familiar, not like I had met him before directly, but rather the details about him sounded so familiar. I held up my hoof and asked, "Mister, do you know the quickest way to Golden Delicious's home."

"Gooolden Delicious!" He sang proudly.

"Could you not sing? I don't have time to listen to your whole jamboree routine because I'm really late--

"Well you came to the right goat!" He sang. "Her house stinks like an ancient mot."

"Please, stop singing!" I begged as the instrument echoed in the background. I had been around the Apple and Pie families long enough to know if you kept going with that tone a whole chorus would show up and I simply didn't have time.

"Nope, I can't, for I am the legendary Grogar, king of darkness and the dead! Five thousand years ago, a unicorn named Gusty the Great cursed me to sing and fled!" He seemed more proud of each verse, but there was a hint of pain and annoyance deep within his pitch.

Maybe he was telling the truth, maybe he was lying his ass off. I didn't have time to figure it out. "So you can't stop singing, ever?"

"Ever, ever, EVER, EVER!!"

I made my way inside as the instruments got louder and a song about his endless years echoed out, much to my annoyance. I covered my ears and prayed it would stop soon. Inside was thousands upon thousands of bells of varying shapes and sizes, along with several ancient scripts just laying out for all to see.

"Probably his lyrics..." I mumbled to myself. As I heard him scream the name Grogar again in the background, I covered my ears harder. "Sounds like he might be done. Dumb goat, there is no such thing as a Grogar. Just some legend Discord--" I stopped my train of thought at the sight of a phone. "Nice."

I slowly uncovered my ears and was glad to hear no more singing. "Old goat must have fallen asleep." I picked up the phone quietly and dialed Golden Delicious' number.

The phone rang twice and she answered in distress, "What? Who's there?!" Her voice was so off putting.

"It's me, Babs Seed. I'm delivering your cat food today."

"Oh wow, that's expensive!" She shouted back.

"What are you talking about?"

"You won't beat me Ahuiz--" the signal buzzed around, preventing me from hearing the full name.

"What do you say?" I was getting worried now. I sounded like she was in danger. "Granny, answer me?!"

"Got to go, little mare?! Lil--" The signal cut out completely, leaving me in complete shock. I had to do something,, so I turned to leave, only to crash face first into the goat. "No, out of my way! I need to get done at the bottom of the mountain right now!!"

"Don't worry, I know the fastest way!"

"No, no more singing. Plus, that didn't even rhyme." I argued. However, he stopped me in place and sat me in a chair. "No, no, no more singing!" My begging was pointless as he went on.

Five thousand years ago, a unicorn done put a spell on me
A spell where when I'm talkin' I'm singin' it with glee
She told me it would be fun and bring me plenty of friends.
But ever since then I just want to completely end.

When you're on the mountain, they're lots to be a'feared
That's why this here old mountain goat's prepared!

He shook the plastic bell wildly. I turned away now, angry with this old goat. I tried to ignore him, only to spot a map. I pointed to it and asked for help to navigate it, only for him to continue singing and pulling out more bells.

I got bells that open bottles
And I got bells that hold my keys
I got bells that when you turn 'em right
They help me watch TV

I got bells that open pickle jars
And bells that come with hair
I got bells that hang my other bells,
I always come prepared

Be prepared, be prepared
This lesson must be shared
This lesson must be shared, be prepared
Be prepared, be prepared
And unless you have no care,
You got one talent so better not spare

The song was annoying enough, but it was the second verse where things were so much weirder and darker. Added to this was the music playing, the background now switched to a heavy metal beat.

I got bells that choke narwhals
And I got bells that summon my bees
I got bells that when you hold 'em right
It makes my life so much easy

I got bells that open gates Tartarus
And bells that hang from a bear
I got bells of my other bells
I always come prepared

Be prepared, be prepared
This lesson must be bared
This lesson must be bared, be prepared
Be prepared, be prepared
And unless I kill F&^%ing mare
Then I won't here to share

He stopped singing only long enough to jump beside me and pull a lever. Before I knew we fell at least fifty feet and crashed into an old mine cart. The thing was not in the best condition at all. Before I could say anything against him he pulled another lever and the cart moved very rocky down the track.

Yeehee, keep your talons and claws
Inside of the vehicle at all times

I barely had time to scream as we were tossed side to side by the insane movement. Going up, higher than the mountain itself before dropped at incredible high speed. The entire time, all I could hear was his yodeling.

Before reaching the bottom, my head was hit by a bit of black smoke and I heard a bit of gibberish echo by my ear through the loud yodeling. The track shook violently, both in front of me and behind me. The goat looked behind while I faced forward. My eyes widened at the sight of more black smoke ahead of me, along with explosions. I thought for sure this crazy old goat had lured me into some death trap.

However, his next words only brought more confusion to my mind.

Ooh, an avalanche of cat litter is comin' and I do not feel prepared
I know make no sense, and I must say that scares
And if not for the unicorn's spell, you'd hear just how loud I scream
But since I'm only singin', I'll just yodel till we're dreams

He yodeled louder and louder. I screamed in horror at realizing he was telling the truth. A massive amount of cat litter of all things was not chasing us down the mountain. We entered the same area where the black smoke was before. A cave, now in even worse shape than the cart carrying us.

"I don't want to be on this ride anymore!!" I screamed as the cart stopped abruptly and threw me into the air.

*******

"Next thing I know I'm waking up in a crater just outside of Golden Delicious' house!!" Babs Seed shouted to add to the effect. "After that, I entered the house and found that gassy monster, Sombra, posing as my Granny! The rest you know from the report."

"Impossible, you would be dead."

"Blame my genes..."

"That makes even less sense--" The captain was stopped by Blueblood hoof.

"No, no, no. There was a crater outside, just a mile back. That was you," Blueblood laughed.

"Yes..."

"Dodging that crater made us both so late," Luster Dawn agreed.

"Are we seriously still listening to this?" Captain Braeburn berated the whole thing. "There was no crash. There was no attack by King Sombra. The only thing about this story that's true is that the Crystal Heart is missing."

"And how do you think it went missing?" Blueblood raised an eyebrow at the captain.

"I don't know! I'm not handling that case!" Captain Braeburn complained.

"What case are you handling?" Babs Seed sassed in her chair.

"The murder of Thunderlane! Loyal guard, powerful soldier, and good friend."

"I'll agree to that last one based solely on your words," Babs Seed laughed.

"Don't you mock him!" Rage fueled the captain's words.

"I wasn't mocking him, I was mocking you!!"

"Enough you two," Luster Dawn slammed her notes on the table. Both became silent, allowing her to present the next question. "Now that we've heard her story, can I understand what my namesake is involved in this story?"

"Right. King Rexous Luster Sombra," Blueblood posed. "Where is he?"

"I'll get the great King Sombra..." Captain Braeburn grumbled and walked away.

Author's Note:

And that is the finale of Babs Seed's part in the story. Next up, King Sombra. Out of all the parts I wanted to do from the beginning was King Sombra's part.

Speaking of such thing, yes from the moment this story popped in my head I was wanting Grogar to be the goat with a singing problem. I hope you enjoyed my take on his song

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