Prologue: The Crime Scene
The cottage was covered in shadows and stunk of old cat litter but Bab Seed moved through the cluttered of sexy stallion magazines and empty cat food bags to reach the room of her grandmother, Golden Delicious. All she had to do was deliver this basket full of cat food and she would be free from this dumb job. She just kept chewing her favorite pumpkin seeds in hopes it would outlast the smell.
Finally, after what seemed to be forever she reached the last door. Opening it she raised an eyebrow at the sight of a stallion sitting in her granny's bed wearing a mask to look like her. At first, she thought she just walked in on some strange fetish, Applebloom always told her this granny was a weird one, but hearing the words from this stranger just made things even odder.
"Hello, Bab Seed. I see you brought the basket as I asked for." The stallion barely could hide his dark and brooding voice behind the mask.
"Granny?" Bab Seed attempted to question him by name alone but he was quick to answer her.
"Yes, It's me, your granny!" He cheered on, hoping to earn her trust.
Bab Seed kept a good guard hidden and questioned the obvious in hopes of getting the truth. "Your face looks very... flat." She pointed to the obvious flat face mask.
"I'm been sick lately--'
"And your mouth doesn't move," Bab Seed fired back.
"Plastic Surgery, remember I nearly died last year. Now come over here, let's have a look at the prize."
Bab Seed was surprised this stranger knew that much about Golden Delicious's health but was too blunt to realize such a thing was a poor excuse for 'plastic surgery'. She wanted to leave at this very moment, however, the growl the stallion made from when he said 'prize' sounded very familiar, she had to know the truth now.
She made her way to the bed, pulled basket off her back, and presented to him. As he attempted to reach for it, she made her another move by again pointing out the blatantly obvious. "Wow, what big hooves you?"
"All the better to reach those hard-to-reach places when showering,"
This fake was clever enough, she would have to keep firing back. "And what fiery red eyes you have?"
"I'm really tired, been up all night working." The stallion sighed hoping the questioning would stop.
Bab Seed narrowed her eyes and went in for the coup de gras of obvious that would end this charade for sure. "And is that red thing poking out of your--"
"Oh, that... look dear, when grannies get lonely they grab out a special red friend to make the loneliness go away." Firing back with a too crude of a joke even for him his annoyance was clear as he leaned over to her and demanded. "We both know why you are here, so just give me what inside the basket this will end."
"Wow, granny, what bad breath you have?" She pulled back.
That was the final straw, no more hiding, The stallion jumped off the bed and pulled off the mask, revealing himself to be King Sombra.
Bab Seed jumped back and held front hooves in defiance, "You again, what kind of tyrant hunts down poor defenseless fillies."
"Nice try, short 'mare', but your weak act isn't going to work this time. Now give me the prize!" Sombra's eyes roared with dark magic... for only a moment before fading. His rage increased at her smile as he scratched at his horn. "Dang it, not again!" He stopped as she attempted to run away.
Finding herself trapped by the closest, Bab Seed turned bucked her back hooves at him. "What did you do with Golden?"
"As soon as I find her--" Before he could finish Golden Delicious, tied up, broke down the door to the closest using a small pink pegasus filly as a battering ram. "Wait, how did you get in there?"
"Granny?!" Bab Seed's own cheers were cut short as the window busted open and grey pegasus fell through, screaming. The three turned around to meet the sight of her only to jump back in fear as she swung around the corpse of a black pegasus.
"Wow! Wow! Wow!!" All four screamed in unison.
Golden Delicious look toward her granddaughter and the basket. Fearing the worse, she kicked it into the closest just in time for the grey pegasus to throw the corpse over the door, slamming it shut once more. Seeing the basket in a safe spot she turned to the pegasus hoping that Sombra didn't see her little stunt. "Look, let just all calm down!" Her voice couldn't get passed any of the other's screams.
However, worse was to come as the bedroom door was kicked down and several guards rushed in. "You are all under arrest."
"What a minute--?!" Bab Seed attempted to question but was stopped as green pegasus mare pushed face down.
"Quiet, you are all suspects."
"Can I just say, whatever villain is behind this, I told them not to trust Discord!!" Sombra shoot what little magic out of his horn that he could before being knocked to by a very buff pegasus with tiny wings.
Golden Delicious still tied up gave even less fight with her own body and instead called upon her cats. "Kitties, remove them, now!!"
"Nice try, but we have already taken down your army." The mare spoke smugly.
"You killed them?!"
"No, we just use some catnip this nice earth pony gave us." The mare laughed louder as she pushed Bab Seed to the ground harder.
"That's enough, Lightning Dust!" Hearing her name she jumped off of Bab Seed. All the guards came to a halt as a tall, well built, and mostly unshaven yellow earth stallion walked inside. "Well, soldiers looks like we have found ourselves a crime scene."
"Yes sir, Captain Braeburn!" The guards saluted and spoke in unison.
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If you're not going to get a proofreader, you should at least run a spellcheck or use something like Google Docs to check for any typos.
Is Hoodwinked really considered underrated? I actually thought it was pretty good.
10261043
Said in the notes that I would love to have a proofreader, I tried searching but to no avail.
10261148
Blame the CG animation, that always gets attacked first when I see reviews of it. Personally, I enjoy it as well.
I can't stop laughing at that one.
10262588
I'm glad.
I have been waiting for this my ENTIRE LIFE
MY LIFE IS COMPLETE I CAN DIE SATISFIED NOW
10263721
Thank you, I'm so glad you like it
10264359
yeah no problem lol
ah yes hoodwinked, a rather interesting case of fairy tale mystery, i wonder who's body derpy came tumbling in with, can't wait to see how this goes. but so far i can say good job.
10266611
If you are familiar with my other comedies then it should be obvious. I treat him as my Kenny when I write this kind of stuff, heck his agony has even snuck into a few of my darker stuff.
I'm writing the next chapter right now. His death will be one of the biggest mystery, but will actually make way too much sense when we get to our villain.
10266824
Honestly i think this is the first time i have gotten to read one of your works, so i didn't know about the running gag with the character, thank you for explaining.
Good luck with the next chapter, i will be waiting for it and to see what this new mystery adds to the story.