> Hoodwinked: The Pony Edition > by Lighttone GryphonStar > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Prologue: The Crime Scene > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The cottage was covered in shadows and stunk of old cat litter but Bab Seed moved through the cluttered of sexy stallion magazines and empty cat food bags to reach the room of her grandmother, Golden Delicious. All she had to do was deliver this basket full of cat food and she would be free from this dumb job. She just kept chewing her favorite pumpkin seeds in hopes it would outlast the smell. Finally, after what seemed to be forever she reached the last door. Opening it she raised an eyebrow at the sight of a stallion sitting in her granny's bed wearing a mask to look like her. At first, she thought she just walked in on some strange fetish, Applebloom always told her this granny was a weird one, but hearing the words from this stranger just made things even odder. "Hello, Bab Seed. I see you brought the basket as I asked for." The stallion barely could hide his dark and brooding voice behind the mask. "Granny?" Bab Seed attempted to question him by name alone but he was quick to answer her. "Yes, It's me, your granny!" He cheered on, hoping to earn her trust. Bab Seed kept a good guard hidden and questioned the obvious in hopes of getting the truth. "Your face looks very... flat." She pointed to the obvious flat face mask. "I'm been sick lately--' "And your mouth doesn't move," Bab Seed fired back. "Plastic Surgery, remember I nearly died last year. Now come over here, let's have a look at the prize." Bab Seed was surprised this stranger knew that much about Golden Delicious's health but was too blunt to realize such a thing was a poor excuse for 'plastic surgery'. She wanted to leave at this very moment, however, the growl the stallion made from when he said 'prize' sounded very familiar, she had to know the truth now. She made her way to the bed, pulled basket off her back, and presented to him. As he attempted to reach for it, she made her another move by again pointing out the blatantly obvious. "Wow, what big hooves you?" "All the better to reach those hard-to-reach places when showering," This fake was clever enough, she would have to keep firing back. "And what fiery red eyes you have?" "I'm really tired, been up all night working." The stallion sighed hoping the questioning would stop. Bab Seed narrowed her eyes and went in for the coup de gras of obvious that would end this charade for sure. "And is that red thing poking out of your--" "Oh, that... look dear, when grannies get lonely they grab out a special red friend to make the loneliness go away." Firing back with a too crude of a joke even for him his annoyance was clear as he leaned over to her and demanded. "We both know why you are here, so just give me what inside the basket this will end." "Wow, granny, what bad breath you have?" She pulled back. That was the final straw, no more hiding, The stallion jumped off the bed and pulled off the mask, revealing himself to be King Sombra. Bab Seed jumped back and held front hooves in defiance, "You again, what kind of tyrant hunts down poor defenseless fillies." "Nice try, short 'mare', but your weak act isn't going to work this time. Now give me the prize!" Sombra's eyes roared with dark magic... for only a moment before fading. His rage increased at her smile as he scratched at his horn. "Dang it, not again!" He stopped as she attempted to run away. Finding herself trapped by the closest, Bab Seed turned bucked her back hooves at him. "What did you do with Golden?" "As soon as I find her--" Before he could finish Golden Delicious, tied up, broke down the door to the closest using a small pink pegasus filly as a battering ram. "Wait, how did you get in there?" "Granny?!" Bab Seed's own cheers were cut short as the window busted open and grey pegasus fell through, screaming. The three turned around to meet the sight of her only to jump back in fear as she swung around the corpse of a black pegasus. "Wow! Wow! Wow!!" All four screamed in unison. Golden Delicious look toward her granddaughter and the basket. Fearing the worse, she kicked it into the closest just in time for the grey pegasus to throw the corpse over the door, slamming it shut once more. Seeing the basket in a safe spot she turned to the pegasus hoping that Sombra didn't see her little stunt. "Look, let just all calm down!" Her voice couldn't get passed any of the other's screams. However, worse was to come as the bedroom door was kicked down and several guards rushed in. "You are all under arrest." "What a minute--?!" Bab Seed attempted to question but was stopped as green pegasus mare pushed face down. "Quiet, you are all suspects." "Can I just say, whatever villain is behind this, I told them not to trust Discord!!" Sombra shoot what little magic out of his horn that he could before being knocked to by a very buff pegasus with tiny wings. Golden Delicious still tied up gave even less fight with her own body and instead called upon her cats. "Kitties, remove them, now!!" "Nice try, but we have already taken down your army." The mare spoke smugly. "You killed them?!" "No, we just use some catnip this nice earth pony gave us." The mare laughed louder as she pushed Bab Seed to the ground harder. "That's enough, Lightning Dust!" Hearing her name she jumped off of Bab Seed. All the guards came to a halt as a tall, well built, and mostly unshaven yellow earth stallion walked inside. "Well, soldiers looks like we have found ourselves a crime scene." "Yes sir, Captain Braeburn!" The guards saluted and spoke in unison. > Chapter 1: News Report > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The cottage filled with flashing lights as officers moved back and forth through the doors gathering all sorts of evidence from cats of all sizes, smutty stallion magazines, to litter boxes of all size, used or not. All of the evidence only had a single commonality, they existed inside that cottage. As they move stuff reporters ambushed them with a fury of questions, "Is this is anyway related to the missing cat food lately?" An adult Diamond Tiara fired. "Possibly, Golden Delicious is the world's greatest collector of cat brand," A buff pegasus flexed his big muscles while lifting a giant pile of bags out into the yard, only for each of them to be empty. "I doubt that," Lightning Dust wasted huffed as she pulled a very stinky box of cat litter. The buff pony offered his help a few times but she refused, up until she crashed face-first into the box. News reporters forced themselves to keep in their laughter as they watched with intrigue and shock, especially when one of the magazine piles flipped revealing all the details. Luster Dawn, being less crass then her other reporting foes refused to look upon the... measurements and rushed through the police tape while one of the police, a blue stallion attempted to pick the mess and hide his drool. Seeing herself in the clear she spotted Captain Braeburn. "Strike for the goal!" Remembering her mother's words she charged forward at full speed. Braeburn jumped back in utter fear at the sight of her and pulled out his shield. "Calm down, calm down, Luster Dawn!!" "Sorry, just ready for the report for the princess." She stopped just mere inches in front of him, kicking up the dust. "Now, what can you tell me about the body?" "Straight to the point, just like your mother." The captain sheepishly moved his eyes around. "Speaking of your mother--" Luster Dawn deadpanned, "She still married to my father like she always will be, but my godmother told me that she said hello!" Her words quickly silenced him. "Now the body is it in any way connected to the Crystal Heart's disappearance yesterday morning?" "Could your mother maybe dump him--" "Focus!" "Right, the Crystal Heart case, that is a high possibility. The body belongs to Thunderlane." Braeburn walked Luster Dawn inside the cottage. "The guard that my aunt trusted with it." Despite all the stuff that had already been removed the place was still cluttered beyond belief and stunk so badly and Luster Dawn was tempted to use a cleaning spell at least three times while walking from the front door to the first room. "Speaking of which--" Luster Dawn shoved dirt in his mouth that she had brought from the outside. She was annoyed with his pitiful attempts but she wasn't too cruel to use the extra box of cat litter somepony missed. "Do you have any suspects?" Braeburn spat of the dirt and presented her with the livingroom. "Four, actually." He pointed out to each of them as Lightning Dust, still knocking cat litter out of her face, was quick to point out their guilt. "Here, we have an earth pony illegal trafficking an unknown basket." The hot blood pegasus waved her hooves around Babs Seed. "This basket is where?" "Unknown, it went missing during the rush to catch them." Braeburn couldn't hide his shame around Luster Dawn at all. Lightning Dust moved over the next one, Golden Delicious. "This old hag was the buyer by the look of it." "And your proof is?" Luster shot back and quickfire before the mare could think of 'add' more details. Lightning Dust waved her hoof away from the other officer who was holding whatever Golden Delicious was tied up in, it was clear that stuff wouldn't prove her point either. "Then we have the mare, Derpy Hooves." She hissed at the gray mare. "She is an insult to the entire pegasi and was the one holding the body." "Okay, she might have seen the murder..." Luster Dawn stopped and looked deep into the lopsided eyes. "Though, its unsure what she saw can be trusted." Seeing that Luster's reporting skills were even quicker than Lightning Dust's police skills she moved to her final catch. The one she believed to be the best one yet. "And finally, the former king himself, Sombra." She presented him wrapped in chains and magical blockers. "Yes, King Rexous Luster Sombra. The stallion of which I received my first name!" Luster Dawn's voice was filled with hate upon seeing the stallion is such a cheaply made prison. "Oh... I forgot about that." Lightning Dust sheepishly moved back. "Look, can I just make a quick gem call--" Sombra attempted to stand by the magic chains shocked him. Luster Dawn leered her eyes over each of them one at a time, starting with Babs Seed. "Huh, you don't look like a criminal, little filly?" She questioned. "Luster, that mare is older then you are--" Sombra was zapped again. "Possibly." Luster Dawn moved over the old mare, Golden Delicious. "Applebloom tells me your knowledge of history is unbounded." "Of course, if you want to know family Tree's, I'm the crazy old mare to talk to." The granny took a sip of her teacup of apple cider. "Though, Applebloom handles the history books nowadays." "Yes, you have other collections now..." Luster tried to keep the image of that folded page out her head. "Yeah, I'm on a quest to find the perfect size--" Luster Dawn used her magic to silence her. "Okay, okay, I don't need to know what you do when you're alone." She laughed sheepishly. She turned her attention away from the old mare and to the other suspects. Sombra could be seen gnawing on his chains only to be zapped again. Angered by this continuous assault he attempted to take his shadow form and leave. However, he found his body turning into an unmoving puddle instead... and getting zapped again. Luster Dawn turned away his sight in shame; just how quickly his power had been fading was unclear but he certainly wasn't the great evil of legend anymore. There was no way he could be responsible for the crime. She turned to Derpy and found even greater disappointment. She finally caved, "Captain?" "Yes," Braeburn answered. "There no way any of these ponies are connected to the crime--" She was interrupted by a voice from outside. "Giving up too early I see." A tall white unicorn stallion walked inside. From his clean pearl white blazer to his sapphire blue button it was clear this was a stallion of rich sophistication. Many of the mare guards were in awe of his magnificent form. Luster Dawn on the other hand just deadpanned, "Blueblood, you were supposed to stay in the cart. I can handle this case on my own." "I know princess Twilight chose my incredible former student to take on the case," his words only brought more embarrassment from the mare, "But I could just stand there and let you lose so much useful data." "Useful!" Her voice almost sounded like her mother's for a moment. "None of them are useful in the slightest." "Not true." Blueblood approached the black puddle and used a spell to reformed Sombra. "While the pieces might be strange and even disgusting," he noted just had badly Sombra had melted, "They all have a place in the final details." "So what are you saying?" Braeburn questioned. "I say we hear all their stories of what happened and the truth should become clear after that." > Chapter 2: First To Be Questioned > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- After waiting a full five minutes for the table to be cleaned off the group gathered with their first suspect. Babs Seed sat on one side of the table while Blueblood sat on the other side. Braeburn brought over the files and Blueblood took them but didn't read them, "Hmm, you look a little small for those cuffs, right?" Blueblood's eyes narrowed on Babs Seed's small hooves. "You could slip right out of them and murder each one of us." On that note, all the guards aimed their weapons right at Babs Seed in complete fear. "We will kill her first!" Blueblood facepalmed, "I was being sarcastic." This brought a sour mood to all of them as they stood down. "However, out of all the suspects, I don't trust you in the slightest. Do you know why?" "Because I'm too cute?" Babs Seed questioned sheepishly. "While that is good enough for anyone not to be trusted, it's the data in your file, filly." He pushed the file forward and open it for the first time, pointing his hoof to an age. "Or should I say mare." Braeburn and Luster Dawn's eyes went wide at the bold age of thirty-five. "Ha, I was right!!" Sombra's yelling of joy could be heard in the background as the rest were left utterly stunned. "How did you know that?" Suddenly Babs Seed's voiced deepened to the sounds of a strong mare. "The large amount of makeup around your eyes told me everything." Blueblood used his magic to remove the makeup and show the slightest of bagging of age that only somepony as vain as himself would care about. "Now the only question is why are you so short?" "Twilight Sparkle." "What? Don't insult the princess!" Luster Dawn was quick to counter her words. "No, no, no. It makes sense. Through the look of her form, the magical accident happened long before Twilight took the throne." "Yeah, yeah, yeah. A fancy-schmancy spell that was meant to fix her friends' mortality hit me instead. The problem being instead of freezing my age, it froze my height and body shape." Babs Seed huffed in annoyance, "Can we just get onto the questions!!" Blueblood smiled in victory before stomping his hoof. Knowing all too well what he was asking Luster Dawn grabbed out her notepad and asked. "Okay then, Babs Seed, what were you doing here?" "I was delivering cat food to my granny." Blueblood lifted his hoof to his chin and scratched lightly, it was clear to Luster he didn't believe a single word especailly after the big reveal so she changed the question. "Where is the cat food?" Babs Seed's face went white and she gave a sheepish smile. "I knew it, she killed him!!" Braeburn jumped to conclusions. "Please, that makes lesser sense than you gaining a date with Luster's mother." Blueblood shot back. Hearing those words sent the earth pony over the edge. It was annoying enough when Luster Dawn did it, but for this bold and crass stallion to insult him. "That is it!!" Luster Dawn was quick to stop the captain. "Okay, okay. enough banter about my mother." "She's right. Babs Seed couldn't have killed Thunderlane since he flew in with Derpy." Blueblood corrected the earth pony. "I knew it, the dumb one did it!!" Braeburn shouted louder. "Enough blunt assumptions," Blueblood was just as quick to shoot that answer down as much as the other one. "Besides the only dumb one here is--" He was cut off as Luster Dawn cleared her throated and attempted to get attention back on the proper questions. Luster Dawn moved closer and placed her hoof over Babs Seed's hoof. "Just tell us where it all started. If you have done nothing wrong then all you need to do is make that clear." The unicorn was trying her best to establish a bond. Her tutelage under Princess Twilight had taught her many things about friendship, and her training under Blueblood had shown her to twist and turn the legal system for the right reasons. She knew deep down nopony was out to ever do evil, but simply survive. Babs Seed pulled her hoof away but smiled at the unicorn's actions. "It all started back in Manehatten, Applebloom had came to visit..." As the earth pony's words weaved forth a story of events, a pair of green eyes watched from the shadows just outside a window. > Babs' POV (1/5): Leaving Home > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- It all started yesterday back in Manehatten. Applebloom had arrived to pick me up for some fun around town. This could only go so far as with my short-form I was unable to enjoy the more adult line life of that city. But we at least agree to drink some juice at a small dinner. "So it's been hard stuck like this?" Appebloom often questioned. "No, I like being dumped by pedos when they realize I'm not a child." I snarked back. "Very funny? You've always had a bad taste in stallions anyway." Appleblood laughed. "Really, this coming from the farmer dating a soldier/want-be-dancer, that's a far freaky combination--" I stopped at the strain in Applebloom's eyes. "Actually, me and Tender Taps had our first fight this week." Applebloom was saddened by her own admission. I raised a hoof to comfort her. "What happened?" "Oh, there was this dance recital that Lil' Cheese told us about and he really wanted to go. But I told him guard duty comes first, especially after those strange attacks that have been happening with the Crystal Heart." "Wait, he's guarding it with Thunderlane." "Yeah... well at least he doesn't want to be. He's obsession can be so dangerous right now--" I stopped her explanation right there. "You never saw his dancing as obsessive, you love that most about him." I was always terrible at kind words but I felt Applebloom needed to understand her misjudgments, or better yet. "It's just a deliver mission, right?" "Yeah, from Crystal Empire to here and then to Ponyville." Applebloom's eyes lit up upon realizing what I was suggesting. "Wait, are you saying?" "Yes, when he arrives I'll switch places with him and you two can enjoy that recital together." "That's a brilliant idea... Wait a minute, won't Thunderlane notice the switch?" "Not a chance," I laughed harder. "That stallion is dumber than a sack of bricks." "This won't be a both for you?!" Applebloom wanted her concerns of the danger to be very clear. "Of course, besides I have to deliver some cat food to Golden Delicious anyway," I assured her. "Oh watch out, she is a crazy one-- ****** "Hold on, hold on, hold on!" Braeburn barked aloud, interrupting the flashback leaving Babs Seed thoroughly annoyed. "You said it was Applebloom's idea to deliver the cat food." "It... It was completely her idea?!" Babs Seed tried to correct herself. "See!!" Sombra screamed from the other room. "She is a liar!! Don't listen to a single she said!" He was interrupted by another shock. Lightning Dust was taking much joy out of poking him with a cattle prong she found. "It does seem rather strange for her to change her story so quickly?" Luster Dawn commented. "Very true." Blueblood rubbed his chin and let his mind bubble with thoughts. "Wait the basket holding the cat food..." Braeburn gave his own ponder aloud. "And the former King Sombra would most likely be here to steal..." He raised his hoof with shock only to quickly drop it in doubt. Luster could easily see the same thing even his dim brain was seeing and could facehoof at the doubt the earth pony was having right now. "What does my godmother, Trixie, see in you?" After a solid ten minutes, Braeburn shouted, "She's using the basket and the cat food to hide the stolen Crystal Heart!!" "I did not steal the Crystal Heart!!" Babs Seed jumped from her chair and shouted back just as loud. "She's lying!!" Sombra argued back only to be shocked again. "Stop Lightning Dust, for once I agree with him..." Braeburn got right in Babs Seed's face and demanded answers. A glow of magic pulled the two apart and sat Babs Seed back in her chair. Luster Dawn took a deep breath and cast a calming spell over both of them. "Take a moment please, as much as you need. Even if one of you was right," Luster Dawn moved her chair between them, "We have no idea where the basket even is right now let alone the Crystal Heart, the real target." As the two silently agreed Luster Dawn gave back control to Blueblood. "I'm sorry sir." "It's okay, I am just reminded so well of why you are on this case." He rubbed her head. "just as brilliant as your mother and father." "Don't, not in front of the suspects!" She barked back. "Okay, okay," he laughed. Turning back to Babs Seed he presented control back to her. "Please continue your tale... but this time with a song." "What? I'm not singing?!" "You might as well." Luster Dawn rolled her eyes. "Fine." Babs Seed gave a deep grumble of annoyance and took a moment to remember where she was and went back to the story. "I arrived late to guard duty thanks to some oddly placed falling pianos. Once there, things went from easy to very bumpy upon crashing into a certain pony." "He said sing!!" Braeburn argued back. > Babs' POV (2/5): Rocky Meeting > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Here's a song I hope gives you the feely It's the one about the mare trapped as a filly I know I'm tired of this old tale but it still right I could never be rude or unkind even toward Twilight But my sad song always played at the back of my mind Oh, can someone show me a different day? To make all this okay Take me out of the form Back to the great big adult world You know I'm waiting for it You know I'm waiting for it-- That's it I refuse to sing anymore as the chaos of this part of the story is in complete contrast with such a cheerful and happy song. Yes, chaos, raining from the sky as pianos, heavy boxes of catnip, cattle prongs, filing cabinets, and giant metal safes were falling from the sky around me at random while I made my way to the meeting point. "Who the heck is dropping all this stuff?!" I dodged left and right, making my way to the airship. Normally I would take a train but, but Applebloom told me the Crystal Heart would be arriving by airship. She had already sent a message to Tender Taps ahead of time to ensure he would be ready. All I needed to do was be there. "Shit, shit, shit!" I rushed to catch the cat food as it shook out of my basket. "Don't worry, I've got it!" The cheerful voice echoed from pink hair as it moved like it had a mind of its own. The overly dramatic locks of hair picked up each piece with ease. The flowing mane belonged to none other than a yellow pony all-too-familiar to my eye. Her screeching voice matched her mother and her comedy bit matched her father. It was Lil Cheese. "Thank you for your help." I took the cat food and hoped the cats would notice the hair as I placed it back in the basket. "No problem at all, friend." Lil Cheese was willing to help anyone in need no matter the problem. "Where are you going in such a rush?" "To make a simple delivery," I couldn't hide my sheepishness around such a cute little filly. Seriously, a combination of Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich was terrifying enough, but an offspring of such a union was even worse. "It doesn't seem that simple," she pointed out the massive amount of debris behind me. "Be careful, I hear it's utter chaos right now." She made me notice her hair twitching erratically, "Just listen to the report they're giving." She twirled her hooves through her mane. "Okay, okay!" I pushed her out of the way as a massive cart fell from the sky. "Where's your delivery going anyway?" She was always ready to ask twenty thousand questions. "Um, to Ponyville? Yes, I'm totally going to Ponyville, nowhere else." I backed away at her enlarging eye of suspicion. "Hmm, okay. But, you better leave before the airship goes without you!" Her hoof stretched out like a big arrow. "Oh no, oh no, oh no!" I rushed off to catch up with the airship. There were two airships on standby but I had no idea which one to get onto. Relying on Lil Cheese's concerns I decided to take the one that was already leaving. ******* Babs Seed stopped her story as Blueblood held up his hoof as an idea popped in his head. His eyes traced over the room and back to Luster Dawn. The reporter for the princess was still taking down every possible note no matter the importance. "Hmm, airships, cattle prongs, and catnip," Blueblood hummed his thoughts out loud hoping Luster Dawn would get his hints of importance. "Right, right, right..." She wrote in big letters 'pointless details are pointless'. "You should really distance yourself from your godmother's lines of thought," Blueblood pointed out. "As dense as Braeburn is, even he knows--" He was stopped at the sight of Braeburn torturing Sombra with a cattle prong. "Nevermind." "Don't insult me in front of the suspects!" Luster Dawn barked back. "I'm not, I'm just ensuring that all the facts are kept up to date." "They are!" Luster Dawn pointed out that she wrote down every word that Babs Seed had said. This also included every gasped for air and halt for thoughts that Babs Seed took during the entire conversation. "Oh, good. Just like your father." Blueblood smiled at her endeavor. He knew from working with that bearded unicorn father of her's that making her take smaller notes was near to impossible for her family. Though, it didn't help while having three brainiacs and one idiot raising her. He could only do so much. "I'm sorry for overstepping," he corrected himself before turning attention back to Babs Seed, "Please continue." > Babs' POV (3/5): Traveling By Air > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Upon arriving I relieved Tender Taps of his duties. It was just as I thought, Thunderlane was so dense that he didn't even notice Tender Taps leaving nor me switching places with him. Heck, the pegasus didn't even notice me making a call to Golden Delicious using the airship phone. "Hello, it's me Babs Seed." "The crazy one with the pink hair?" She questioned. "No, not Lil Cheese." "The two loves with the crazy hair?" "There's only one pony on this phone talking to you..." "Oh... did Twilight fuse you two together again!" "No!" I screamed back in annoyance. "I'm Babs Seed!!" I didn't mean to be angry with her but the mere mention of Twilight's destructive magic was a little too much trauma for me. "I'm about to deliver that cat food you asked for." "Oh, now's not a good time..." She seemed a bit distant in her words like she was busy. "That's fine, I might be a little late anyway due to helping Applebloom with some work." "Oh, oh, oh. That's just perfect..." She adjusted her voice. "I mean, take your time. I'll just be here in my old cottage feeding my cats." "Hey, Granny are we--" Another voice echoed on the line before she abruptly hanged up on me. I was more confused than annoyed now. "Hmm, it's not like her to have guests, especially Italian ones..." I stopped myself as that wasn't a good enough explanation for the accent of the stallion's voice. In fact, it sounded more like a snake was talking. "A snake, now that sounds crazy," I laughed to myself. "A snake around all those cats would be dead in a matter of seconds." "I know, right?" A voice spoke me far from my spot. "Oh, hey... Lil Cheese. I almost mistook you for a villain." I was confused for one thing, there was no one in the room beside me and Thunderlane and second ago. And yet here she was standing in front of me with a tray of food. "I see you got on the airship," She gave a small cheer. "Yes, thanks to your early warning," In a way I was relieved to talked to somepony else. Thunderlane is so dense I doubt word to him would register a realization I said something let alone an answer. "Yeah, you move pretty slow," Lil Cheese commented. "Slow, you try running with these small limbs!" I complained about my current form. "I'm the same height as you?" Lil Cheese laughed. "Yeah, thanks to my curse!" I threw up my limbs. Much to my surprise Thunderlane grumped at my scream. "Careful..." Lil Cheese leered at Thunderlane. "Don't worry, I have the guard handled just fine." I laughed to myself. "How hard could it be to guard the Crystal Heart. No one is dump enough to steal it--" I was stopped without warning as the alarm went off. "What? How? Its only been ten minutes." I faced the Crystal Heart only to see it unharmed. "Everything is fine!" A deep voice came over the intercom. Due to the heavy amount of pride and boastfulness I could tell who the owner was. The minotaur, Iron Will. The intercom blazed loudly and he repeated louder, "There will be no refunds no matter what happens next." "What could possibly happen next?" I didn't hide my screams of annoyance as the alarm got louder. "Hold on to everything you have and be safe. We are crashing!" "CRASHING?!?!" ****** "Crashing you say?" Braeburn questioned Babs Seed's word choice. Annoyed Babs Seed repeated in a deeper voice. "The Airship was literally crashing!!" Braeburn raised an eyebrow. "Really, there hasn't been a report of a crashing airship." "It happened just hours ago. For all we know you dumb reporters have heard of it!!" Babs Seed stood out of her chair and pointed enraged at Luster Dawn. "Don't mock my student," Blueblood laughed, only intensifying the mare trapped in a filly's rage. "Let's all just take a break," Luster Dawn intervened. It was clear to Luster Dawn that the two were trying to get a good reaction. However it was unclear to Luster Dawn what kind of reaction he desired. The captain was being more brazen simply because he was getting just as annoyed as Babs Seed. But her mentor's reasons seemed more hidden. Luster Dawn knew he had no reason to openly different her against a suspect to why strike a cord? Another thing popped into Luster Dawn's mind. She looked back through her notes. Just as the captain said, there was no mention of a crash this recently. There was no way his soldiers were that bad. And yet there would be no reason why Babs Seed would continue to lie to them. This case just got a lot strange and the words were far from over. Neither of them knew what would be coming next as Babs Seed reached the half way point of her story. ****** > Babs' POV (4/5): Airship Wrecker > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I screamed for my life as everything crumbled around me. While I was a mare trapped in the form of a filly even I couldn’t deny the fear going through me. Several things flew around me from the pedestal holding the crystal heart to the basket of cat food. I instinctively reached out for it. “Don’t worry, I’ve got it.” Lil Cheese again appeared out of nowhere and grabbed each individual piece of cat food. The paper from the basket wrapped around my head at one point, blocking all sight. The only thing that told us we hadn’t landed or died yet was Lil Cheese’s cheerful voice as she floated through the air in zero gravity continuing to help me. “Oh, look what I found!” Lil Cheese pulled off the paper and shoved it back over the cat food. The basket seemed much tighter for some reason. However, before I could question more she tied a parachute to my back. “Have fun lading!!” She laughed as she pulled the string. I barely had seconds to grab the back as I floated upward and the crashing ship flowed downward. “No, Lil Cheese!!” I screamed in fear as the airship hit the ground. “I’m okay!” Her voice could barely be heard echoing from the rumble. I tried to move toward her location but the winds were pushing me the other way. I braced myself as the trees came into reach. But I got blinded by a flashing light belonging to some pink filly with curly hair. She was waving it around randomly. I sneered in pain from the first hit. Bounced off some branches than some leaves. Finally, I landed on the ground with a hard thump. My basket landed on a tree branch before sliding down to me. I gripped it tightly and got up. I stared at the sky where the airship once was. “That had to be so strong magic--” I was stopped at the sound of a growl and a red glow in the distance. Before I could reach it, the pink filly landed in front of me and flashed more light in my face. “Will you stop doing that?!” I found myself screaming at nothing. I turned around and found the source of the red glow. “Afternoon,” he spoke rather awkwardly. I couldn’t care less how awkward this was for him. I was to busy jumping back in fear at the sight of the legendary King Sombra. “Hello,” I nervously answered back. “That was quite a bit of falling you did just now,” Sombra spoke so casually. I wasn’t sure if he was playing me for a fool. It was clear that he attacked the airship. “Oh, you saw that,” I decided to play along. “Yeah, that’s how gravity works. Trust me, I’ve had a few traps based around in my former castle.” He switched back to awkwardness. “I'm not supposed to talk to strangers,” I laughed softly while attempting to back away. “That’s a good call. Now, what are you doing up there in that big old airship?” Sombra leered down at my basket. “A very expensive ride just to deliver cat food.” “I’m taking this to my granny!” I pulled the basket close to my chest. “Granny? As in, Granny Golden Delicious?” “How do you know her?” I raised an eyebrow. “It is my job to keep an eye out for dangerous things.” He moved closer. “My granny doesn’t do anything dangerous!” I accused him. “Really, you don’t think there is something important I should ask you about her?” He got right up in my face. “I don't think I should tell you that,” I tried to chuck the tension away. “Sounds like you are both hiding something…” He laughed back. “You ask a lot of questions, mister.” “What can I say? I'm a curious stallion.” He placed his hoof on the basket. “Let’s see what's inside?” “I'd rather you didn't know,” I knew this was going bad, even if he found out it was just cat food, I doubt it would end well for me. Without warming, he roared at me and dark magic flared from his horn. I took this moment to bolt in the other direction. I ran as fast as I could, not caring how far he would chase me. I knew this adventure had gone too far. I was nowhere near ready to fight a monster that strong. ****** "That settles it," Captain Braeburn confirmed. "Sombra is our villain!" "That only tells us he was at the crash," Blueblood argued. "It doesn't answer who caused the crash or who killed Thunderlane." "But he was there. Shouldn't we be asking why?" Luster Dawn was just as curious. "Yes," Blueblood smiled and leaned over the table. "However, this story is far from done isn't it?" He could plainly see the fear on Babs Seed's face wasn't from the monster of pure darkness chained down in the other room. "... Yeah, you're right," She caved. "There was one final thing that happened before I arrived here?" > Babs' POV (5/5): A Goat's Bell > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- As soon as I got to the top of the mountain, I assumed my troubles were over. I was very wrong. Standing ahead of me would be my hardest test yet, well, at least the most painful. At the top of the mountain was an old cabin that had clearly gone past its prime with twisted oak and dust everywhere. And sitting amongst all of this in a loud, creaky rocking chair was a dark blue goat with huge lower fangs, a plastic bell wrapped tightly around his neck, and a beard that reached past my hooves. He looked familiar, not like I had met him before directly, but rather the details about him sounded so familiar. I held up my hoof and asked, "Mister, do you know the quickest way to Golden Delicious's home." "Gooolden Delicious!" He sang proudly.  "Could you not sing? I don't have time to listen to your whole jamboree routine because I'm really late-- "Well you came to the right goat!" He sang. "Her house stinks like an ancient mot." "Please, stop singing!" I begged as the instrument echoed in the background. I had been around the Apple and Pie families long enough to know if you kept going with that tone a whole chorus would show up and I simply didn't have time. "Nope, I can't, for I am the legendary Grogar, king of darkness and the dead! Five thousand years ago, a unicorn named Gusty the Great cursed me to sing and fled!" He seemed more proud of each verse, but there was a hint of pain and annoyance deep within his pitch. Maybe he was telling the truth, maybe he was lying his ass off. I didn't have time to figure it out. "So you can't stop singing, ever?" "Ever, ever, EVER, EVER!!" I made my way inside as the instruments got louder and a song about his endless years echoed out, much to my annoyance. I covered my ears and prayed it would stop soon. Inside was thousands upon thousands of bells of varying shapes and sizes, along with several ancient scripts just laying out for all to see. "Probably his lyrics..." I mumbled to myself. As I heard him scream the name Grogar again in the background, I covered my ears harder. "Sounds like he might be done. Dumb goat, there is no such thing as a Grogar. Just some legend Discord--" I stopped my train of thought at the sight of a phone. "Nice." I slowly uncovered my ears and was glad to hear no more singing. "Old goat must have fallen asleep." I picked up the phone quietly and dialed Golden Delicious' number. The phone rang twice and she answered in distress, "What? Who's there?!" Her voice was so off putting. "It's me, Babs Seed. I'm delivering your cat food today." "Oh wow, that's expensive!" She shouted back. "What are you talking about?" "You won't beat me Ahuiz--" the signal buzzed around, preventing me from hearing the full name. "What do you say?" I was getting worried now. I sounded like she was in danger. "Granny, answer me?!" "Got to go, little mare?! Lil--" The signal cut out completely, leaving me in complete shock. I had to do something,, so I turned to leave, only to crash face first into the goat. "No, out of my way! I need to get done at the bottom of the mountain right now!!" "Don't worry, I know the fastest way!" "No, no more singing. Plus, that didn't even rhyme." I argued. However, he stopped me in place and sat me in a chair. "No, no, no more singing!" My begging was pointless as he went on. Five thousand years ago, a unicorn done put a spell on me A spell where when I'm talkin' I'm singin' it with glee She told me it would be fun and bring me plenty of friends. But ever since then I just want to completely end. When you're on the mountain, they're lots to be a'feared That's why this here old mountain goat's prepared! He shook the plastic bell wildly. I turned away now, angry with this old goat. I tried to ignore him, only to spot a map. I pointed to it and asked for help to navigate it, only for him to continue singing and pulling out more bells. I got bells that open bottles And I got bells that hold my keys I got bells that when you turn 'em right They help me watch TV I got bells that open pickle jars And bells that come with hair I got bells that hang my other bells, I always come prepared Be prepared, be prepared This lesson must be shared This lesson must be shared, be prepared Be prepared, be prepared And unless you have no care, You got one talent so better not spare The song was annoying enough, but it was the second verse where things were so much weirder and darker. Added to this was the music playing, the background now switched to a heavy metal beat. I got bells that choke narwhals And I got bells that summon my bees I got bells that when you hold 'em right It makes my life so much easy I got bells that open gates Tartarus And bells that hang from a bear I got bells of my other bells I always come prepared Be prepared, be prepared This lesson must be bared This lesson must be bared, be prepared Be prepared, be prepared And unless I kill F&^%ing mare Then I won't here to share He stopped singing only long enough to jump beside me and pull a lever. Before I knew we fell at least fifty feet and crashed into an old mine cart. The thing was not in the best condition at all. Before I could say anything against him he pulled another lever and the cart moved very rocky down the track. Yeehee, keep your talons and claws Inside of the vehicle at all times I barely had time to scream as we were tossed side to side by the insane movement. Going up, higher than the mountain itself before dropped at incredible high speed. The entire time, all I could hear was his yodeling. Before reaching the bottom, my head was hit by a bit of black smoke and I heard a bit of gibberish echo by my ear through the loud yodeling. The track shook violently, both in front of me and behind me. The goat looked behind while I faced forward. My eyes widened at the sight of more black smoke ahead of me, along with explosions. I thought for sure this crazy old goat had lured me into some death trap. However, his next words only brought more confusion to my mind. Ooh, an avalanche of cat litter is comin' and I do not feel prepared I know make no sense, and I must say that scares And if not for the unicorn's spell, you'd hear just how loud I scream But since I'm only singin', I'll just yodel till we're dreams He yodeled louder and louder. I screamed in horror at realizing he was telling the truth. A massive amount of cat litter of all things was not chasing us down the mountain. We entered the same area where the black smoke was before. A cave, now in even worse shape than the cart carrying us. "I don't want to be on this ride anymore!!" I screamed as the cart stopped abruptly and threw me into the air. ******* "Next thing I know I'm waking up in a crater just outside of Golden Delicious' house!!" Babs Seed shouted to add to the effect. "After that, I entered the house and found that gassy monster, Sombra, posing as my Granny! The rest you know from the report." "Impossible, you would be dead." "Blame my genes..." "That makes even less sense--" The captain was stopped by Blueblood hoof. "No, no, no. There was a crater outside, just a mile back. That was you," Blueblood laughed. "Yes..." "Dodging that crater made us both so late," Luster Dawn agreed. "Are we seriously still listening to this?" Captain Braeburn berated the whole thing. "There was no crash. There was no attack by King Sombra. The only thing about this story that's true is that the Crystal Heart is missing." "And how do you think it went missing?" Blueblood raised an eyebrow at the captain. "I don't know! I'm not handling that case!" Captain Braeburn complained. "What case are you handling?" Babs Seed sassed in her chair. "The murder of Thunderlane! Loyal guard, powerful soldier, and good friend." "I'll agree to that last one based solely on your words," Babs Seed laughed. "Don't you mock him!" Rage fueled the captain's words. "I wasn't mocking him, I was mocking you!!" "Enough you two," Luster Dawn slammed her notes on the table. Both became silent, allowing her to present the next question. "Now that we've heard her story, can I understand what my namesake is involved in this story?" "Right. King Rexous Luster Sombra," Blueblood posed. "Where is he?" "I'll get the great King Sombra..." Captain Braeburn grumbled and walked away. > Chapter 4: Questioning Darkness > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The cottage rumbled with settle dark magic as King Sombra was carefully moved to the table. Erratic blasts of dark magic fired in all kinds of directions as guards kept a steady stance and a tight grip on his chains until they got him into place. Captain Braeburn saluted his soldiers determination to fight the fear overcoming them. All while Luster Dawn facepalmed at the seer show on displace. Blueblood kept a cool demeanor, unsure whether to laugh at their efforts or yawn in boredom. However, there was one annoyance that needed to be pointed out before they could go any further. "Why is he still wearing a muzzle?" he asked as they tightened the chains around the chair. "Uh, he is dangerous?" one said. "He might attack you?!" another spoke higher. "Personally, I thought it would look pretty epic!" Lightning Dust laughed at the rest. "Quite so..." Blueblood deadpanned. "Unfortunately, how can he answer our questions if we can't hear him?" The soldiers looked back and forth to each other while considering his words. Lightning Dust caved ripped off the muzzle painfully. They all jumped back as the former king of darkness roared in agony. "You cold heart bitc--" Sombra was stopped by the cattle prong again. Lightning Dust went in for another strike only for Luster Dawn to teleported it out of her hooves. Sombra turned his attention to the unicorn and quickly dropped his anger. "Thank you, Luster." "You are very welcome." Luster Dawn nodded and went back to writing down some notes. "How do you know her name?" Captain Braeburn berated him. "You mean outside the fact I heard every part of the previous interrogation you had with Babs Seed?" "What?!" This enraged Captain Braeburn. "Why I oughta--" "You might as well admit defeat, you stubborn ass!!" Babs Seed echoed her own rage in the background. "I've told them everything!" "Keep that mare silent and I will tell you the complete truth," Sombra answered. "Why should we believe you?" Captain Braeburn argued back. "You can believe Luster Dawn." His words brought silence to both of them as his sight wandered over to her. Luster Dawn coughed the stares away. She had hoped the captain wouldn't be this stubborn. However, she would have to let this slip. "I trust him completely... but I will not choose a side." She quickly corrected. "What? He's a villain?!" "But I wasn't always a villain," Sombra caved to answers that Luster Dawn wasn't ready to talk about. He didn't want to break her trust but in order to continue these proceedings, they needed to trust him. "Luster inherited her name from me after I stabilized her magic during her childhood. It turned out being an offspring of one of the greatest wizards and a witch who broke time had some unforeseen consequences. Starlight and Sunburst took great care in keeping their alliance with me a secret but soon enough Princess Luna found out." "Which is when she recruited you as her secret agent," Blueblood finished. "Wait, he works for Princess Luna?!" Captain Braeburn was left slackjaw at such an answer. "And I don't work alone." On cue a blur of pink and blue light rushed by and broke Sombra's chains. "Thank you, Cozy Glow." "Cozy Glow?" A deep voice bellowed out from the small filly as she landed beside him on the table. "It was my idea to eat the chains!" The voice echoed again from her mouth before being followed by another voice, "But it was my teeth!" A smaller female voice more accurate to the filly form argued back. "Will you two please not do this now!" A final third voice, this one filled with lust demanded they stop. "What? Are we interrupting your whoring thoughts?!" The younger voice echoed back. If that's true then good! Anything is better than listening to her moaning." The deeper voice agreed. "Don't blame me, blame my species!" the lustful voice laughed. "Your species? You are in my body!!" the younger one screamed back. The rest of the group was left utterly confused by the filly's three voices. So much so that Lightning Dust even lifted her cattle prong, aiming it right at the filly. Cozy Glow's body shocked three different color combos with the electrocution; the first was red, black, and white, the second was a sickly black, and teal and the final landed her back with the pink and light blue. "Yeah... when Discord freed her from her stone imprisonment, it proved to have some strange side effects. Now she has some uninvited guesses living inside her." Sombra padded Cozy Glow on the head. "It turned out that draconequus wasn't fully to blame. Both princesses have tried everything they could to stabilize her, but it seems only a certain bell can fix the problem." "Okay," Blueblood couldn't hide the fact that even he was caught off guard by this reveal. "Now that is cleared up, could you two-- and mean four explain your side of these events?" "Yes, and we know the truth." ****** > Sombra POV (1/5): The Breakout > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thousands of years ago, deep within the darkest of cave, surrounded by a pit of lava. I was making my escape from the afterlife. Thanks to some insane cultists with a confusing cheese fetish, I wasn't really paying attention to their demands while I was killing them; I had regained my freedom in the world of the living. "Ha, ha, ha, burn!!" I mocked their screams of agony. However, they didn't go quietly as they also summoned a mighty hydra that wished to fight me for revenge. Thanks not what happened. Yeah, and it happened three months ago, just outside, under a rather sexy tree. What? Sexy, how was that tree sexy? It had a sweet ass. That was a literal donkey. Yeah, he called himself Bray, I think. Princess Luna used his wicked evil soul in exchange for resurrecting Sombra. Not sure if pleading like a wimp qualifies as evil. Pleading, I thought he was moaning? WIll you three please let me explain the story!! Now where was I? Oh, yes, I was resurrected by Princess Luna alongside the shattered abomination that is Cozy Glow to be part of her new dark agents of evil. She called it reform school. Yes, if only a fine stallion was teaching it. Instead, Spike's friend Garble was teaching it. He plays the drums. If only he could tap those soft hands of my-- Enough!! Princess Luna had brought us back to deal with all sorts of evils. She deemed solely leaving Twilight Sparkle in charge after their retirement as totally irresponsible. She knew for every good deed, there was a bad deed. So for every good ruler, there had to be someone in the shadows will to commit evil. We were sent in to handle things deemed too hard for normal weak ponies. Missions of absolute importance and danger. Jobs we could barely survive in but always came back victorious. And our current mission was the hardest one we could have ever been given. The complete and total destruction of one mare stuck in pony form, Babs Seed!! ****** "Hold up, hold up?!" Babs Seed roared in confusion. She stomped her way back into the interview. The earth pony threw up her hooves in frustration. "How am I your target?! I've done no evil at all. If anything, Twilight's done more evil by cursing me into this body!!" "Your new form is the source of your evil!!" Sombra stood up and proclaimed. "And all four of us will stop you?!" "Yeah, let's rape her!!" The word choice immediately stopped them all as Cozy Glow punched herself in the face. "WTF Tirek?! Why did you punch me?" Cozy Glow barked at herself. "I was punching the whore?" The voice quickly changed again. "Hit me harder, daddy--" Lightning Dust fried the filly with her cattle prong again, laughing at the multiple colors. "Ha, it's like torturing three ponies at once!" "I think you've had too much fun with that." Blueblood finally took it away. The captain nodded in agreement. "But, Captain? It's so much fun," Lightning Dust pouted. "Bulk Bicep," Braeburn called out. "Yes, sir." The overly buff pony slowly flew over. "Put this somewhere safe." "Yes, sir!" The oversized pony floated away on tiny wings. Meanwhile, in the shadows, watchful eyes followed it carefully. "Where is the basket?!" > Sombra's POV (2/5): Chained Event > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- My most recent mission involved taking down this sadistic rumored pedo gang found in Manehatten. I'm a villain even a monster but children are completely off the sexual menu, though stealing one for mortal sacrifice or dark ascension is perfectly fine. I arrived in Manehatten days ago and quickly murdered-- I mean disposed of each of them in an orderly fashion. Though, it would have been easier if a certain mare stuck as a filly wasn't constantly driving them her way and away from my gruesome traps. I had to take a break. We had been running all day before reaching a quiet bar for some cider. I took my seat and watched in amusement while Cozy Glow tried to convince the front that she was old enough to drink. Its not her fault she was trapped in stone for over eighteen years. Half the time I considered getting those two drunk would only make things worse for Cozy Glow but she claimed she could take it. "Hurry up, our target can't be far behind!" I prattled on. "Don't rush us!" The thicker voice barked as they reached our table. The bartender followed behind, with a baby stool on his hooves. "Okay?" I waited longer as the bartender picked her up and placed them in place. "I'll have your drinks ready soon..." The bartender flinched back and forth between me and Cozy Glow, blushing heavily at her. "You can go, handsome," Cozy Glow winked, making me turn away in annoyance. The bartender ran away as fast as he could. "So what happened this time?" I questioned. "Chrysalis grabbed his-- Please don't make me remember that?!" Cozy Glow screamed with her normal voice while grabbing out some disinfectant and cleaned her hoof harshly. "So disgusting! Oh, he asked for it!!" a lustful voice laughed through the disgust. "So was he one of them?" I asked. "Did that stallion look like he was enjoying it?" The deeper voice barked. "He would have if you let me finish!" The lustful voice growled. "When it's my body, there is no finishing anyone!!" "Speaking of you... you three? Any chance of finding the filly?" "She is very elusive," a deeper voice spoke from Cozy Glow's mouth. "We would have had her if it hadn't of been for that other filly?" "What other filly? Luna didn't mention another filly?!" "Yes, a filly covered in cheese..." The deep voice stopped. "She wasn't covered in cheese, she was covered in hair." The lustful voice vanished just as quickly. "No, her name was based around cheese." "So this filly stopped you from finding Babs Seed or knows where Babs Seed is?" Truthfully I had no idea what my question was as I often got lost with the three voices arguing. I never understood why Princess Luna stuck me with, possibly some sort of punishment. I never should have broken up with that alicorn-- ****** "Wait, wait!!" The captain bold interrupted Sombra's tale. "Since when you are and Luna a thing." "Really, I'm not sure how that's important to the story in the first place," Luster Dawn commented. "We need to get back on track." "Exactly," Blueblood agreed. "Please continue." ******* Fine, our drinks arrived and the bartender shyly laughed asking if everything was to our liking. This would be something he would quickly regret as Cozy Clow grabbed him without warning and into a deep kiss, leaving the entire bar shocked and me hiding my face in shame. Seeing Cozy Glow gag along with the bartender, I took the stallion in my magic and banged his head into the table, quickly knocking him out. "I think he'll forget." "And I think we are in trouble!" the deeper voice proclaimed as Cozy Glow swiftly pulled out a near-empty bottle of mouth wash and drained it into her mouth, cleaning as best she could before spiting. "Stop doing that?!" Her proper voice screamed and swung down the hard cider. Oh come on, he didn't even give us any tongue action!" "Either way, Tirek is right." I was stopped as the bartender dropped out of my dwindling magic. "Damn it." "Oh, is that still happening, maybe I can help--" The lustful voice was silenced by Cozy Glow slamming her mouth with a gag ball. "Thank you for not finishing that line, though I don't even want to know where you got that from." I agreed while scanning the room. Cozy Glow sweated heavily and waved her head back and forth, clearly trying to fight more words from the other two. At the same time, several ponies were rising to meet us with obvious rage at the sudden assault and attack. Luckily, our target arrived in our sights. Unluckily, she was at the other bar across the street. Well, unlucky for the patrons of this bar. ****** "This led to a massive bar fight. After which we escaped and followed Babseed onto the airship." Sombra came to a calming stop, finishing the second chunk of his story. He waited patiently for them to ask anything more in return. "So, you got into a bar fight, because a certain voice couldn't contain their lust," Blueblood turned his sight to Cozy Glow. She was staring intently at the detective's rear with a slight drool, her hooves dug deep into the chair. This made him readjust the back of his seat away from her gaze bringing a relaxed sigh from the filly. Only for her sight to drift elsewhere. "Captain, come stand by me please." Luster dawn was just as quick, making such all stallions were far from Cozy Glow's reach. Braeburn coughed and realized the obvious too, ordering his female soldiers to stand the way of any male with the filly's gaze. "Okay, now that's settled, how did you miss the airship?" Blueblood was quick to poke a massive hole in Sombra's story. "You're right," Sombra grumbled. "But how?" "Simply, if you were already on the ground during the crashing, there was no way you could have been on board." "Wait!" Babs Seed interrupted. "You are saying he wasn't responsible for the crashing!" "Exactly, in fact, due to his problematic magic," Blueblood's voice raised to increase the notability of his proclamation. "I am certain, he has committed no evil at all since being free!" The whole room went silent to this unexpected twist. Yet deep within, their thoughts were buzzing with confusion and disbelief. All their eyes fall on Sombra for answers. Some hoped Blueblood was wrong, whether out of fear of the great evil king or assumption that he was still just as evil as always and could never reform. The only one thinking somewhat in line with Blueblood's theory was Luster Dawn who stared at Sombra in confusion too, but also wanted an affirmation to it all. Standing up she walked over to Sombra and pierced him with wider eyes and moved her mouth wordless, fear mixing with doubt. Sombra turned to her gaze and slowly dropped his head in defeat. "Yes, I am powerless." Luster Dawn undid the locks holding him in place. "Please continue." ****** > Sombra's POV (3/5): Brand Meeting > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Because of our fight in the bar, we fell behind Babs Seed. However, that was nothing to the utter chaos that came between us. Just as we were feet away, she started singing. A song right now would have made things worse, but happiness and anger came in spades, for as soon as she got done with her third group of verses, a large box fell on us. Luckily, I can still switch to my liquid form with ease. Cozy Glow wasn't so lucky, forcing me to retreat and save her. Babs Seed dodged the random flying objects too and reached the airship, anyway. I was left slightly conflicted as my mission was to capture her and go back to killing-- I mean apprehending the pedos of this city. However, what kind of villain would I be if I left a child injured under some rubble? After all, I have my honor to think about here. I'm evil, not cruel. However, pulling Cozy Glow free wasn't exactly a pleasing sight, with the lustful voice screaming out in what I could only assume was ecstasy. "Oh, yes. Hit me harder, you bad, bad stallion." Cozy Glow grabbed onto me and continued with the lustful voice. "Yes, take me right here in front of all these ponies!! Fu--" I threw her back down, much to her disappointment. "We have a job to do." "Mission first, action second, huh. You hot hunk of a stallio--" Cozy Glow slapped herself with a metal wrench she found on the ground. "Warn me before you do that, Tirek." She turned to a random direction as if he was standing right there. Flipping her head around as if he was looking at her he replied, "Either I was going to knock her lights out or force you to puke up that meal we just had!" "Thank you, Tirek. I nearly knocked her out myself." I turned back to see the airship leaving. No choice now but to follow it. "Oh, you know you want this!" The lustful voice forced Cozy Glow to shake her small rear at me. I covered my eyes and walked ahead of them, continuing to dodge the chaos falling around us. Will you please stop shaking my ass at every stallion or mare that you desire!""I agree, this is the body of a child for Ixion's sake!" "Will you three please catch up?!" I dropped my guard and rushed more ahead, getting right under the airship. I pulled out a crystal and aimed it. Fueling it was magic, I transformed it into a sound capturing device. It took a few tries to get the signal just right, but soon I got something. "Dead in a matter of seconds." My eyes widened at the voice of Babs Seed saying such words. While I knew she was a danger to the mission, I had no idea she could be so evil. I couldn't help but be impressed. "I know, right?" Another voice replied. It was most likely her accomplice. Maybe she was in league with those disgusting pedos. I tried to intensify the sounds only for Cozy Glow to catch and crash right into my face. "Oh, face sitting? That sounds like fun!" The lustful voice was testing the very edge of my anger. "Get off of him!!" Cozy Glow threw herself to the ground. "You..." The voices on the crystal continued, but with random static. Things got worse as the next line the voice on the airship said only amplified my assumption. "... a villain," Babs Seed answered. "I see you got on the airship," her accomplice cheered. I feared the worse, turning my horn to the airship and concentrating. Only nothing came out. At first, I wanted to increase the power of the signal. "Yes, thanks to your early warning," Babs Seed's answer confirmed my suspicions. I made my move. Using all my power, I tried to bring down the airship, but again, my magic fizzled out. Hearing the lustful voice and the deep voice inside Cozy Glow laugh at my efforts was annoying enough, but at least they weren't arguing anymore. "Height!" the other voice laughed. More static prevented me from hearing more. "Don't worry, I have the guard handled." The final bunch of static only increased my concerns. But it was the last line that changed everything for me especially. "Crystal Heart..." My eyes widened and my hooves dropped out from under me in shock. I hadn't seen the Crystal Heart in so long. Its wonderful beauty I missed most. With its power, I could restore my form. Everything would be mine again, the power, the grace, the empire. Even the love and admiration of my subjects again would be within my reach if only I could hold it once more. However, another realization accorded. If I wanted it, then others desired it too. It was a powerful relic. Anyone with the right mind could use it for evil, maybe even evil far greater than I. "Damn, so that's what they have planned." I turned off the gem and turned back to find Cozy Glow. I wanted to tell them my suspicions, but then the airship exploded in bright light. All three voices inside Cozy Glow were in unison to the awe and destruction above them. Despite being trapped together for so long, neither of them had lost their evil desires. Such destruction was a beautiful sight that I couldn't disagree with. However, my attention was elsewhere as a parachute came into sight. My eyes weren't wrong; Babs Seed's tiny body attached to it was unmistakable. ****** "Finally, we reach the meat and potatoes of the story." Captain Braeburn interrupted. He took a seat right beside Sombra as if ready to arrest him for any crimes the shadow was about to disclose. "Indeed." Blueblood raised an eyebrow. "You found a wrench?" He held out his hoof. "Can we see it?" "I would show it to you..." Sombra rolled his eyes as his throat retracted. "But... I'm not touching it." "Because it would have your hoof prints on it?!" Captain Braeburn exclaimed as if claiming a victory. "If his hooves were already on it, touching it now would be the perfect excuse!" Luster Dawn had hoped that the old captain would give up on his endeavor. It looked like their job was about to get much harder. "Oh..." It took a moment for the logic to kick in. "Right..." "Oh, don't worry," Sombra pointed out. "It's in this house... I just refuse to touch it after Cozy Glow's... lustful side got ahold of it..." His sickening face was completely clear now. Luster Dawn turned her attention to Cozy Glow. Slowly she realized that the filly had no pockets at all and had been sitting weird this whole time. She turned away and covered her blush with her notes. Babs Seed and Captain Braeburn took a bit longer to figure out the truth and both of them grabbed the nearest trash bin to puke. Sombra grumbled and readjusted his position in the chair. "Now, where did we leave off?" He leered at Babs Seed, "Oh, yes, you were crashing..." ****** > Sombra's POV (4/5): The Bull Fight > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Luck was on my side that day as the winds brought Babs Seed directly to me. Seeing her approach a tree, I teleported Cozy Glow up there to catch her. However, the light of my spell seemed to blind Babs Seed. She didn't turn away, instead, crashing headfirst into her. I winced at the sight of the pain from the first hit. Babs Seed bounced off some branches, then some leaves. Finally, landing on the ground with a hard thump, her basket slowly slid down to meet her. I moved behind her as she admired the remains of the airship falling. Once in place, I tried to make my move, only for Cozy Glow to land and spook her with some of the remaining magic of my teleportation spell. “Afternoon,” I answered, half annoyed I was forced to reveal myself early. “Hello,” she nervously answered back. “That was a lot of falling than you did just now,” I tried being casual so she would lower her guard. “Oh, you saw that,” she laughed. “Yeah, that’s how gravity works. Trust me, I’ve had a few traps based around it in my former castle.” I kept her going, trying to understand her motives and possible next actions. “I'm not supposed to talk to strangers,” she continued to laugh, clearly searching for an escape route. “That’s a good call. Now, what were you doing up there in that big, old airship?” My eyes fell on her basket. I sensed a strong familiar power. “A very expensive ride just to deliver cat food.” I leaned close, curiosity getting the better of me. “I’m taking this to my granny!” She pulled the basket close to her chest. “Granny? As in, Granny Golden Delicious?” I study my targets extensively. “How do you know her?” She raised an eyebrow. “It is my job to keep an eye out for dangerous things.” I stepped forward to block her exits. “My granny does nothing dangerous!” “Really? You don’t think there is something important I should ask you about her?” I got right up in her face, hoping to intimidate her. “I don't think I should tell you that,” she tried to chuck the tension away. “Sounds like you are hiding something…” I laughed back. The basket and its secrets were within reach. “You ask a lot of questions, mister.” “What can I say? I'm a curious stallion.” Right in place, I firmly stomp my hoof on the basket. “Let’s see what's inside?” “I'd rather you didn't know." Without warming, pain mixed with annoyance flowed through my body, leading to a loud roar. I turned back to the direction of the source and found Cozy Glow spanking me on the rear. My confusion was silenced by the moans of the lustful voice. "Just pound her with your thick, strong thighs, already!" I used my magic to float her away from rubbing my leg. ""Thank you..." She pulled out the sanitizer and cleaned her hooves. "Sorry, for ruining your interrogation." I wanted to roar in anger at them, but another pain echoed through my body, stopping me in my tracks. While I had turned slightly to the left, Babs Seed had taken advantage of my distraction and swiftly kicked me between the legs before bolting away. Leaving me and Cozy Glow utterly dumbfounded as I fell down in agony. ****** "That's not what happened at all!" Babs Seed interrupted Sombra's story. "I ran out of there because you were going to steal my cat food." "Really? For what possible reason would he want your cat food?" Luster Dawn argued. "Indeed," Blueblood confirmed. "More likely he sensed a far more useful and powerful object. Possibly of the crystal kind?" "Wait?" Braeburn raised a hoof. "Are you saying that she might have stolen the Crystal Heart?" "Obvious!" Luster Dawn barked back. "You, yourself said they were all suspects!" She questioned his sudden defense of Babs Seed. "I was speaking hyperbolically." Braeburn quickly apologized. "Babs Seed is my cousin after all. I didn't want to show favoritism." "Hyper sonically?" Bulk Biceps questioned the wording of his boss. "No, hyperbolically, as in you were exaggerating!" Luster Dawn pressed her head down in disappointment. "Dang it, Captain." "Either way, we now have new questions." Blueblood turned the attention back to Babs Seed, unsure to trust any of her words now. "You have to understand!" Babs Seed tried to explain. "He was being very creepy!!" "Well, we can't simply arrest something solely for being creepy!" Meanwhile, in the background, Lightning Dust's eyes widened, and she ran out of the room while they argued. Reaching a safe spot, she pulled out her radio, only to trip over something. She looked down to see a giant roll of cheese laying near the entrance. "Odd." The pegasus was lactose intolerant, so she promptly ignored it and turned her attention to the matter at hoof. Activating her radio, she called out, "Rolling, Rolling Thunder!" "What?" a voice answered. "You know that giant ball of living gas we arrest today?" "The creepy one?" "Yeah..." Sweat poured down over her face. "Yeah, it might be better to let him go!" "What? He was controlling children with music!" the voice complained. "Yes, but don't all children's music do that?" Lightning Dust tensed up from the most delicious smell. "We can't arrest him for being creepy!" The smell got stronger, making her leer back to the giant roll of cheese. Much to her shock, it had been cut, and a piece taken. Plus, there was now a pie sitting beside it, also missing a slice. "Can we at least keep his zebra ally in chains?" Rolling Thunder questioned. "Doing that while letting the literally white cloud go free..." Lightning Dust raised an eyebrow. "That might be a little racist." "Yeah, you've got a point..." Rolling Thunder sighed with annoyance. "Short Fuse, let the cloud go..." "GOD DAMN IT!!" another voice shouted in the background. Lightning Dust quickly turned off her radio and rushed back into the room. At the same time, the arguing had come to a close. And Sombra was getting ready to tell the final lengths of his journey. > Sombra's POV (5/5): Explosive End > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thanks to the pain I suffered, we lost track of Babs Seed. Luckily, we found a new trail from a map that fell off her basket. It led us up the mountainside to a cave on the far southwest side. Though, it could have been the southeast side as the pinmareship was quite horrible, as if a child had written it. It didn't help that the thing, also stunk of cheese, making it hard to stare at for very long. Either way, we entered the cave and took a moment to rest, as my hips were still aching. The cave was damp and dark and had a new stranger smell, but I was glad it would at least void the smell of cheese from our nostrils. I sat down on a rock and summoned a cold gem to lean on. That mare might have the legs of a filly, but she kicks with the force of a cart rushing downhill at full speed. "Maybe I could nurse your wounds," the lustful voice chirped from Cozy Glow as she placed her hoof on my hip "You can find my technics on healing to be most useful." she rubbed my hip. My face deadpanned as her other hoof reached over and pulled away the lustful one, stopping her advances. "You will do no such thing!" her classic voice argued back. Can't you hold back your advances until the mission is complete." the deeper voice agreed with Cozy Glow. "Why do you always take her side... Maybe I should satisfy you," The lustful hoof moved down her own body. "No, no, no!!" the classic voice scream, rolling them away, much to my relief. "You three need new outlets," I begrudgingly commented. "Like what? Neither of us can agree on anything." the deeper voice forced both hooves down into the dirt, preventing them from fighting each other more. ""Outside of our hatred for Chrysalis!" the classic voice laughed. "You two are both heartless!" lustful voice roared louder them all of them. She forced Cozy Glow up and stood on her back legs and continued, "What both you two need is a good hard fu--" Losing balance Cozy Glow crashed into something in the darkness of the cave. I rushed over to catch them only to trip over something else as well. "Hold on, there is something else in this cave." I lit up my horn and found train tracks under me. "Interesting." I stomped on them, unsure if they were real. Meanwhile, Cozy Glow rolled away and crashed into more stuff in the darkness. "Hey, look what we found!" she cheered before the lustful voice took over. "Does it vibrate?!" Cozy Glow threw it toward Sombra before something disturbing could happen with the deeper voice destroying the lustful's hope. "No, you fool, its clearly food!" The other hoof slapped Cozy Glow in the face. "If its edible, its also fu--" I grabbed them in my magic and forced both hooves down. Glowing my horn over the object revealed something I didn't expect. "It's more cheese?" "That's not the only thing." Cozy Glow nodded her head over. "Yes, I see." I advanced closer, shining light on everything. "Cheese, deflated party balloons and bells, so many bells." There were many other objects, including explosives, but the ones I noted aloud seemed the most unusual. This was clearly connected to the explosion of the airship and Babs Seed, but I was unsure how... until I found a list of names. Cheese Sandwich Pinkie Pie Birch Bucket Parcel Post Ahuizotl... The last name was most important, written in bold red. ****** "Golden Delicious!" Sombra ended his tale by pointing directly at the granny in question at the far end of the cabin. The room was left gasping, including Babs Seed, who just stared at her granny in utter confusion. Golden Delicious was more silent than any other, refusing to look at Sombra or Babs Seed the moment her name was mentioned. Before Babs Seed could raise her own questions, Blueblood tapped the table, turning attention back to Sombra. "And where is this evidence you speak of?" "Unfortunately, an avalanche came out of nowhere and swept us out of there... setting off the explosives at the same time." Sombra knew this part of the tale would seem like a lie before, but Babs Seed witnessed the same avalanche, making his story far more believable. "After which I headed here to find Golden Delicious, only to find the place empty. When Babs Seed arrived, I threw Cozy Glow in the closet with no idea that Golden Delicious was already inside." "Wait," Captain Braeburn interrupted. "Are you saying she was already tied up when you arrived?" "I'm not sure. Nor am I about to question it." Sombra turned away from the captain in annoyance. "And why?!" the earth pony raised his voice to intensify his accusations. "You do know, who I work with?" Sombra held his hoof out to Cozy Glow. "I've learned long ago to stop questioning kinks." Captain Braeburn's eyes went wide after remembering the obvious. "Right... I guess we should question Golden Delicious!" His words were so rushed, attempting to change the subject. "Actually, I want to hear more from another." Blueblood turned his attention to Derpy. "The pegasus..." The Captain raised his eyebrow in confusion. "Her?!" Luster Dawn also questioned, "She's dumber than a doornail!" "Yes, but everypony has a story." His thought didn't get helped by Derpy chewing on a cattle prong and screaming in agony when it shocked her. > Chapter 6: One Very Dense Wall > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Blueblood and Luster Dawn sat patiently and waited for the next suspect to enter the room. They had waited for over three hours now, and things didn't seem to move any faster. Both were unsure what was taking the pegasus known as Derpy Hooves so long to enter the room. On top of things was the endless bashing sound on the other side of the wall, near the door. They both assumed at first that it had to be Babs Seed, mostly angered by the revelation earlier, but the sound refused to yield. The strangest part was that there was clearly no anger in the hits, rather a rabid repetitiveness to it that had no increase or decrease at all. Luster Dawn lowered her head as the annoyance was finally her limit. Scratching her forehead with her hooves, she kept the notes right in front of her and continued to memorize them. The great princess, Twilight Sparkle, always prided herself on such endeavours. Luster Dawn was steadfast to live up to such an example, but this noise was beginning to grate at her last nerve. Conceding for the health of his student's brain, Blueblood lifted his hoof and suggested, "Babs Seed, why don't you orchestrate your anger outside?" "I am outside!!" she screamed in anger from the other side of the house, nowhere near the door at all. "Wait," Luster Dawn's eyes widened. "Then who is that at the door?!" She rushed over, wanting it to finally stop and give her some relief, before Derpy arrived. Opening the door revealed both answers at once; what was causing the sound and why Derpy was so late. Much to the unicorn's shock, the pegasus had been the one banging her head on the wall this whole time. "What? Huh?" Luster Dawn blinked twice and asked more clearly. "What are you doing?!" "What?" Derpy stopped and turned to her. Her ditzy eyes lit up, and she smiled brightly at Luster Dawn. "Thank you for your help." She walked past the unicorn and bowed at Blueblood. "Sorry for the tardiness. I was having a hard time opening the door." "I..." Blueblood's eyes widened just as wide as his student's eyes when he realized everything. "No, I'm sorry that we kept you waiting at the door." Derpy sat quietly at the table. Without warning, she pulled a muffin out of nowhere and went to eating. "So, can we make this quick? I have children at home to feed." "Okay..." Blueblood was even more confused, but kept his composure and waited for his student to return to her chair. "Mrs Hooves." "Oh, I'm not married." She waved him away. "Doctor Whooves is simply too busy for such things. But he's a nice stallion to keep around the kids." "Okay... Miss Derpy." Blueblood hoped to get back to the subject matter. "Do you know why you are here?" "No..." She tapped the table twice as thoughts bubbled. "I thought we were having a party, but this one stank, not in a bad way, but rather the smell of this place..." She covered her nose and cleared her throat. "It smells terrible here. Such a horrible place to have a party." "This isn't a party!" the captain barked. "Indeed." Luster Dawn was glad to finally agree with the brute of an earth pony. "Yes, this is about a theft and a murder." Blueblood pressed his hooves together and waited for her reply. Derpy's face went completely pale, and she dropped the muffin out of shock. "Oh, that poor soul. Who was killed?" All three of them went wide eye at her answer. They remembered all too well the facts of the situation. How this mare fell in swinging a body left and right at the other ponies. And yet now she was questioning who the victim even was? Captain Braeburn had shown many times today his bluntness, but this mare hit his absolute limit. "You, you killed Thunderlane!!" he shouted his loudest. "I..." Derpy's ditzy eyes darted all over the room. "No, I would never hurt anypony!" She argued. "Then what is this? A leather couch!" Braeburn clapped his hooves. On that cue, Buck Bicep dropped the body of Thunderlane onto the table under his captain's command. "Wait a minute." Blueblood raised an eyebrow. "Why is this body not in the morgue already?" "It's evidence!" the captain cheered. "It's a corpse!" Luster Dawn confirmed. "Exactly!" Bulk Bicep also replied, not realizing the obvious either. Blueblood at first was annoyed by the interruption, but looked over the body, anyway. "This is some damning evidence--" He stopped as the eyelids. Leaning in closer, he tapped one lid lightly and pulled back with wide eyes. "I see. Derpy, where did you find this body?" "Oh, this stallion." She sheepishly smiled. "Well, it's a bit of a long, long story." "Condence it for us." Luster Dawn deadpanned. ****** > Derpy's POV (1/2): Completely Off Track > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- My day started off really great. I jumped out of bed and checked on the kids. Turning on the oven I grabbed the newspaper and waited patiently for the oven to beep. I attempted to read... again, just like every day, but that went nowhere as every word on the newspaper was utter jibberish. After a while, I manage to hear the beep of the oven through the chaos of the background morning noises. The other sounds were coming from the basement, so I just assumed Doctor Whooves was experimenting again. I pulled out the tray and buttered all five muffins and sat down to wait for the kids to wake up. Unfortunately, I was a little impatient as I always am, and bit into my blueberry muffin. I savored its soft and tasty bread, grinning as the blueberries busted between my teeth. It was so good. I wanted to take a second bite, but then the strangest thing happened. I swore to you this happened, a laser shot by and blasted the muffin from my hoof. I pouted for at the sight of the muffin's brutal remains on the floor. Doctor Whooves rushed out of the basement, more lasers chasing behind him. "Sorry, Derpy!" He landed in his chair and spun it around, making it into a shield against the lasers. "Apparently, we have bigger problems than breakfast." He ducked down as these strange machines floated up the stairs. "Wait, you changed again?!" I questioned his appearance. "Why are you a stallion?!" One of the machines blew up the coffee maker and moved around the table. Doctor Whooves kicked it back and complained, "I've been a stallion before, honey!" He grabbed a plate and reflected the beam. "Yes, but I just got used to being a lesbian with you!" After all the hard work I did at the courthouses and the companies. You could understand my annoyance for him to go back, but then that is how regeneration works. "Could you have chosen a big strong strapping young black stallion--" I was interrupted by a laser flying by cinching my hair. "Or a flamboyant black stallion would have been fine too?!" "Oh come, everypony love this face." He laughed and stood up. "After all, it's a fan favorite!" He charged forward. With a quick rush, he managed to push the robots back downstairs into the basement where the Tardis was. I think he said the robots were garlic, no it was a balek. No, that's not the right word either. Oh wait, it was a Dalek! Those rolling bots that want to kill us all. Oh, and they were screaming, "EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE," nonstop. Supposedly, the Daleks had aligned themselves with a goat or was it an alpaca, or maybe it was a llama? ****** "Derpy, Derpy, we don't time for your fanfictions!" Luster Dawn interrupted. "Fanfiction, never heard of it." Derpy rolled her eyes around in a goofy fashion. "Right?" Blueblood raised an eyebrow. "Can we maybe move the story to when you got on the airship?" "But, then you'll miss the giant three hundred year long time paradox we got stuck in on our way to the airship... Doctor Whooves used it to stop the rolling bots' plans for world domination, but the goat escaped. Luckily, he found a way to reset our ages..." The group is confused by her story. Neither way seeing the point of wasting several minutes on it. Seeing their lack of trust in her words, Derpy quickly corrected what she thought was the most important part. "At least I think I'm still in my thirties..." The updates did little to stir concern in their minds. Luster Dawn was simply facepalming at the waste, Blueblood was rubbing his head and Captain Braeburn was in a mix of gasp of annoyed shock. All three didn't believe a single word she said. "Derpy..." Blueblood calmed himself. "As lovely as that story sounds..." "Just please get back on the subject!" Luster Dawn interrupted. "I was, I told you every detail of my morning!" Derpy argued. "No," Blueblood placed his hoof between the two mares. "Just get to the part involving the airship crash." "Fine..." Derpy gave a soft pout. "I was making a delivery to Manehatten." > Derpy's POV(2/2): Trains of Thought > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- So there I was, traveling through the skies of Manehatten, completing my daily deliveries. This would have gone by pretty fast but outside of the usual mail, muffin, and piano delivery services I was also transporting a large supply of cattle prongs and cat litter. Apparently, some pony in the mountains between Manehatten and the mainland needed a large supply of both for no reason. Yes, nothing is more unsuspicious than no reason. This made me very happy as the suspicion of mystery deliveries always annoyed me. I was glad to transport something that was no mystery at all to the point of having no reason to deliver it other than just because. I'm a simple mare and simple tasks make my life so much easier. What I never liked was the several ponies below screaming at me as I flew by. Words like, "Watch where you are dropping those things," and "Agh!! Electrical burns!" I never understood why they would make such claims. I never once dropped a single package and wasn't about to start now... though I was always missing some supply by the end of a trip. Might be thieves, after all, Manehatten is a den of scum and villainy, or whatever that movie quote was. After making my delivery I got aboard the nearest airship. I didn't have a ticket, but that never stopped me. I simply found one floating in the air and sat on top of it. It looked like a royal airship, a rare thing for me to find so far south. Maybe I could expect some fancy room service. Hopefully, this one didn't boo me off as some others did. It was getting close to dinnertime, so I called out for some help. Looking across the top of the airship I found it strange to be completely empty. This was very mysterious. Shouldn't there be window washers up here? There was certainly somepony up here as I kept hearing bell music. Usually, I would eat a muffin, but there was a strange smell around me. It was making me crave cheese, and I hate cheese. I got up and looked to find the source. Yet again I found nopony up there but me and no source of the music either. Actually, I found a large grouping of party balloons near the doorway inside. I didn't want to get booted off the airship so I didn't open the door and left the grouping of balloons alone. Soon my hunger turned into tiredness. I lay down and went to sleep. This nap was very short-lived as a loud bang threw me into the air. My eyes opened to find the airship falling apart. Though I have wings, the sudden rush made me forget I had them. I fell toward the ground. Luckily, my wings were shocked into action as my face crashed into a black pegasus stallion. He was falling through the air as well. He was so limp, and his limbs were flying everywhere. I fought him off through the air for what seemed like several hours. I was so scared by his violent attack. Yet, no matter how much I struggled to get him off, his body pressed against me with more vigor. When I realized his eyes were closed, I concluded the explosion must have knocked him out. Thus, his attack on me was completely out of his control. I sighed in relief. However, a new problem came when I realized letting go of him only made my flight even worse. Looking up to see that the struggle had tangled our wings. This was not great at all as both of us were swaying slowly to the ground. I did what I could and steered us to the mountainside, hoping we would land in the trees. When with no warning, another explosion happened, throwing us to the ground instead. I shrieked in horror at the sight of a massive landslide below us. I tried to escape it. But then a gust of wind knocked us further away from the mountain. I turned to the source and saw a strange crater just appear from nowhere. The winds carried us several miles from the mountains and over farmland. This is where the smell of cheese was quickly replaced by the smell of cat litter. This smell was way worse but was enough to bring the black stallion out of his sleep. His eyes slowly opened, and he looked at me with confusion. His loss turned to shock and then horror. He screamed and struggled away from me, causing our wings to finally untangle. However, his own wings wouldn't move, instead, he fell even faster now. I rushed down to him and screamed for him to open his wings. He tried and tried but that wouldn't matter as soon we crashed through the window, and he was knocked out once more. I kept a tight grip on him as we flew by, rolling across the bed and around everypony inside. I was safe but surrounded by screaming ponies in all directions. All I could do was scream in return, protecting my new friend and myself. It was the most terrifying moment of my life. ****** "Wait a minute, wait a minute!!" The captain stepped in front of Derpy, stopping her story and demanded. "There's no way none of that last part happened. You are making stuff up!!" "Why would you think I was lying?!" Derpy shivered away in her chair. "Because your version of the story would imply that Thunderlane is alive." He pointed at the corpse on the table. "He is dead!!" He screamed the last bit to emphasize the gravity of his words. "Actually, he's not," Blueblood answered. All of them stopped in their tracks and turned back to Blueblood with a mix of confusion, annoyance, and bewilderment. Except for Derpy, though it was unclear what she was looking at or whether she was confused or not. She simply pulled out a muffin from under the table and went to munching. "What do you mean by, not dead?!" Luster Dawn finally questioned. "I mean that literally, check his pulse." Blueblood walked over by the stallion's head and pointed it out for her. Luster Dawn didn't want to question his motives so followed suit. She placed her hoof on the neck. Slowly her eyes widened with each beat of the stallion's heart. "He's right..." "How would you know this before us?!" The captain jumped up from his chair. "Simple, I checked." "How? You never touched the body. That would destroy the evidence!" Captain Braeburn declared out loud and so boldly as it was the best thing, he remembered from the hoofbook on crime scene investigations. "That's why you wear gloves!" Luster Dawn facepalmed. "I didn't need to touch the body." Blueblood pointed to the eyes. "He's been in rem sleep this whole time. Noted by the rolling of the eyelids." The rest were dumbfounded by this realization. This left the final problem being, if he had been asleep this whole time, then how and why? ****** > Chapter 8: New Clues, New Suspects > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The news reporters outside were buzzing at the news that Thunderlane might actually be alive. The cameras swarmed around the windows, trying their best to get a better look as Luster Dawn moved Thunderlane into the kitchen. Being annoyed by the sight of the vultures, Luster Dawn teleported a massive bolder between the cameras and the window. Now that she knew there was a detail she missed her mind went into overdrive. Blueblood pushed everyone else back to the edge of the kitchen as the unicorn mare lifted the body in magic. She scanned over the body. The wings had been broken from the fall, along with most of the skin on his back and tail. She pulled out her first aid kit and cleaned up the wounds. "What do you think happened here?" asked Blueblood. Luster Dawn leaned back to get a better look. "For the most part, he's perfectly fine. Just banged up enough where he won't be waking up any time soon." Blueblood nodded, "We'll see what I can do about that later. For now, we need to figure out how this happened." Luster Dawn pulled out some of the metal rods from her bag and pressed them over the wounds, working her way up the stallion's back. When she got to his neck she noticed a shock kick out from him to the metal rods. "Interesting." Her eyes ran over to the cattle prong that Lightning Dust had been using this whole time. She violently pulled it from the pegasus' hoof with her magic and brought it over. Ignoring Lightning Dust's pouting she scanned it. It looked like a regular cattle prod, except for the four barbed spikes sticking out of it. There were two on each side, and they resembled the horns on a bull. "I wonder if these are connected to..." mused Luster Dawn as she lined up the strange shape to the markings on Thunderlane's neck. Blueblood walked up behind her, "That would explain why he's moving so limply." "Are you saying that Derpy was torturing him?!" Braeburn was quick to accuse the dumb mare. He stopped upon remembering who he was talking about. "No, she's too dense." "Finally, something smart from you." Luster Dawn laughed and padded him on the head. "Keep going and I'm sure even my mother's plant will find you attractive." She dropped the body carefully on the floor. "Stop that?!" He pulled away from her. "If Derpy didn't do it then who?" Who indeed?" Blueblood raised his hoof. "Derpy Hooves is simply our red herring!" With that Blueblood stepped on Thunderlane's hoof hard enough to wake him up. The black pegasus stallion jumped up in a scream of agony and confusion. He pointed at everypony and scream at each of them with progressively louder volumes, the loudest aimed at Sombra. After this, he ran down through the living room, then the hallway, and finally out the front door where, outside he promptly crashed face-first into a giant pile of stinky cat litter, spilling its contents all over him. "Who left the front door wide open?!" Luster Dawn commented. "Indeed." Blueblood rubbed his chin. "Damn it..." Captain Braeburn breathed a mix of relief and annoyance at how wrong he was. He looked back at Luster Dawn, who simply rolled her eyes at him. She was right about a lot of things much like her mentor, but it was clear to the captain now more than ever. She was right about him... and so was her mother, for dumping him. "I'll go clean it up." "Sir!" Bulk Biceps saluted his captain and followed behind him. Lightning Dust also followed but was laughing the entire time. The whole house voided the sounds of the soldiers. Blueblood figured it was a good enough time for a break so he conjured up two cups of hot earl gray tea and some crumpets for him and Luster Dawn. The two sat in the dining room with the others. "I think this might take a while." "Yeah..." Luster Dawn grumbled. "It seems so." Derpy followed shortly after... though she crashed into the side of the doorway a few times. Unknown to them, a pair of eyes snuck past and into the room. It had been the one who opened the front door to the house. The eyes seemed to defy all sense of logic as they moved with just a shadow and no body shape, though it was clearly no magic involved despite the literal breaking of reality. It went up the walls and around the ceiling. Hooves yanked out the shadows and moved the lights. They dusted the corners and gently placed any spiders to the side. The illogical pair of eyes moved down to the table and creaked over every chair. "I have to find it, now!" an annoyed grumble followed by a bemoaning hiss echoed louder. "And will you stop crashing into that wall!!" The voice screamed at Derpy. The dull mare stopped and apologized, leaving the room without asking a single question. The logic of the mare made no sense to the eyes so they left her be and moved to the bedroom. "I have to find it before something bad happens." > Chapter 9: Infamous Triple Count > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The cottage became peaceful without all the guards running around the place. However, Luster Dawn could not stop thinking about her failure to see the obvious. Of course, Thunderlane was just unconscious, Derpy was the most blatant red herring ever. She had completely wasted her time with those notes. Looking upon them only made things worse by the second. "My mother could have solved this case long ago." "Don't be so hard on yourself. Derpy is a tough nut to crack." Blueblood finished his tea. "No, she's a pointless nut. They are all pointless." She waved her hoof over all the suspects. "And I let them make fools out of me. It is all my fault." "No, I don't think so." He smiled and spotted that her cup was getting cold. The unicorn heated up her tea and placed his hoof on her shoulder. "We still have a few more clues to look over." "Like what--" Luster Dawn was stopped as Captain Braeburn rushed back into the room. "Hold on! You two need to come out here!!" He guided them over, much to Luster Dawn's annoyance. Golden Delicious watched them leave in the direction of the cat litter boxes. She wiped her head and took a deep breath. "Babs Seed, could you go see if I have some muffins laying out." "Too late, Derpy ate them all." Babs Seed rolled her eyes. "Just go check!" The old mare pushed her in the other direction. "No, I want to see what they found." Babs Seed jumped out of her chair and walked over to the exit. She ignored the old mare's pleas to stay and looked outside the entrance over at the massive stacks of cat litter. Her eyebrow raised at the guards scooping up and shaking about the clumps of the dust. Golden Delicious walked up from behind her and attempted to pull her away. "What is the point of this?!" Luster Dawn barked at the horrible smell. "Hold on..." The captain walked over to a separate pile and turned over the shovel. He bashed it as hard as he could on the cat litter and revealed something shocking. The shovel head broke off instantly and bounced over to Luster's hooves. "Impossible!" The mare noted a strange shine along the side that had been bashed in. "I understand now." Blueblood enveloped the pile in magic and spliced apart each piece until the picture became clear to all of them, much to Golden Delicious's regret. "This isn't just cat litter, but a clever cover." He turned his hoof toward the old mare and pointed boldly. "For the greatest diamond smuggling ring!" He stepped toward her and shined the thousands of tiny diamonds hidden inside the cat litter. "When I first arrived, I noted a triple G tattoo on your neck. This makes sense since there are already three strikes against you." Golden Delicious grumbled away from behind Babs Seed and acted all innocent. "Oh, I'm not a bother to anypony. Just love my tattoos and my cats..." She was slowly backed into a corner by the guards and the detectives. "I could never harm a fly." "Yes, but we are after somepony who stole the Crystal Heart." Blueblood presented the cuffs. "There is no greater prize for a diamond thief." "... Damn." She turned her head to the left and right before whistling to her cats. The five cats ripped their way out of their cages with ease surrounded, Golden Delicious, and used their bodies to protect her. "Well played, but I am not going down without a fight!" The mare held up her hooves and charged at them. Babs Seed jumped out of the way as the cats knocked the guards around. Golden Delicious tossed her hooves from side to side and bashed her way out. Blueblood wrapped Luster Dawn in his magic and blasted away the advancing forces. Captain Braeburn wasn't so lucky, getting scratches all over his body. The hardest problem was the large leopard that jumped down from the ceiling to join the forces of cats. Golden Delicious used the chaos to escape from the house. Babs Seed raced out a window and noticed her getting away on a motorcycle. The earth pony jumped in front of the path and stopped her. "Let me pass!!" Golden Delicious asked kindly. "No, I need to know the truth!" "Fine, I didn't steal the Crystal Heart!!" The old mare revved her engine. "Now, let me through." "No!!" Babs Seed grabbed her leg. "We all need to know the truth!" She narrowed her eyes at the guards swarming around her grandmother. "Please, just tell us everything." Her ears plucked at the sounds of her cats failing to stop the detectives. The old mare's eyes drifted between Babs Seed, the diamonds she had been hoarding for centuries, and the way out. Seeing her second escape fade just as quickly as the first made the old mare cave under pressure. "Fine... I'll tell you." > Granny POV (1/3): Phone Call > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- My morning was really quite nice for the most part. I got up, cleaned out the cat litter, and fed the cats. Then I went down to a little store to buy a couple of things to put in the cooler for my picnic this afternoon. Everypony that saw me was just as nice, a common thing when talking to an old mare like me. This often made my other job quite easy as nopony would suspect me of trading cocaine, weed, and other illegal stuff to expand my diamond collection. After arriving home, I check the outside twice over to ensure nopony was following me. Just as you all suspected, I hide my diamonds under the cat litter. Far too heavy for my cats to dig up, it ensured that nopony would easily fine my collection. It kept my cats safe. All while their claws shined each crystal every time they used the litter. Once finished I sat on the front porch in the shade of a tree and waited around. I like to keep the role of a nice old mare as much as possible. Which also meant that I didn't need to find an isolated spot. My whole operation stood out in plain sight, exactly as planned. It was one of those things that made my job easier. However, as often, I would drift into sleep until something happened. Today was no different as I dreamed of all my lovely treasures and old adventures with both heroic travelers and fiendish crime lords. Memories of the past, or fantasies that awaited me, unsure often which due to my old age. It was around this time that Babs Seed must have called me the first time. The phone brought me back from my dreamland and I jumped awake. I looked at the clock and sighed in relief that not much time had passed. Walking back inside, I grabbed the phone and answered. "Hello, it's me Babs Seed." Her voice chimed through the speaker. "The crazy one with the pink hair?" I questioned, being plenty playful as I knew her voice anywhere. "No, not Lil Cheese." "The two loves with the crazy hair?" I kept my little game going. "There's only one pony on this phone talking to you..." She could have been seeing through my rouse. "Oh... did Twilight fuse you two together again!" I flipped the subject around. I didn't want to poke at Babs Seed's weak points, but a knock at my front door distracted me. "No!" She screamed back in annoyance. "I'm Babs Seed!!" Her loudness made me pull away the phone and answer the door instead. Hoping there was more fun behind it. "I'm about to deliver that cat food you asked for." Babs Seed pressed. I froze upon seeing who was on the other side of the door. "Oh, now's not a good time..." I tried not to sound too distant on the phone but my guest was also very distracting. "That's fine, I might be a little late anyway due to helping Applebloom with some work." Babs Seed's words cheered me up. "Oh, oh, oh. That's just perfect..." I adjusted my voice as the guest picked me up in his strong arms. "I mean, take your time. I'll just be here in my old cottage feeding my cats." The blue mythical being of legend caressed my face away from the phone completely and spoke into the speaker. "Hey, Granny are we--" I covered the phone and hung up. Then let him finish, "Are we ready for some fun?" Oh, I can't hide it anymore. This is just too hard to remember while blushing so brightly. So I will be very blunt with you all. At the front door was Ahuizotl, my former lover. ****** The story was interrupted as everypony had a spit take to the shocking reveal. Even Sombra's flames went out from the pure confusion of it all. Cozy Glow had to tape herself down to ensure Chrysalis didn't go into a lustful madness from the reveal. Babs Seed's jaw dropped to the ground before taking a seat to hear more of this cursed story. There was no way this old mare could be telling the truth. "Hold on! You used to date Ahuizotl?!" Blueblood said the question everypony wanted to ask. "Shocking that I still have my good looks." Golden Delicious cupped her mane to one side and gave him a wink. "What?!" Captain Braeburn couldn't believe a single word of this. "You can't be connected to such a dark criminal." Luster Dawn jumped up from her spot. "How long did this go on for?" Blueblood posed. "The entire time I was married to my first and second husbands." Golden Delicious sheepishly gave in. "He's a criminal?!" Luster Dawn argued. "Yeah, and a fictional character from a book." Captain Braeburn's words stopped them all in their tracks. Blueblood facepalmed and Luster Dawn gave a heavy sigh at his blind lack of knowledge. "Yes..." Golden Delicious ignored that comment and went back to her story. "Back when I was young, I was the Bonnie to his Clyde. We went on every adventure, crime spree, and temple raid... but soon enough he replaced me with that Darring Do. Price of dating an immortal." > Granny POV (2/3): Giant Horder > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I need to be a bit blunt for this next part. I was told we were here for only a few minor things and that was it. Afterward, it would be a date under the moonlight. But first, we had some diamonds to steal. Hidden in the high mountains, in a place of which I will not give exact location under my fifth amendment rights, there stood the greatest diamond vault in pony history. Long ago, it was owned by an ancient goat, who I recently heard got cursed with a singing spell, but now it was owned by the Federal Unicorn Commission. At least it would be for only a few more hours longer. Ahuizotl knew I was getting deep into my old age and wanted to surprise me with the biggest score ever! We were going to plunder every single diamond out of there and transfer them in my many cat litter boxes. However, it would be quite dangerous as the place was guarded be a mass of black op pegasus soldiers and Luna's finest Shadowbolt batponies. I could not count how many there were. They all had a look of seriousness and rage, ready to rip us all apart. However, my beloved Ahuizotl had an inside pony, or rather a tiny filly, named Lil Cheese. A small little, fourth wall-breaking child who would be really useful in getting into the giant safe without being detected. I got along with her well. She reminded me a bit of a mare I knew, trapped in the body of a filly. "So did you bring the goods?" Lil Cheese asked Ahuizotl. "An azoth dagger, ripped out of the heartless corpse of a wendigo." He presented it to the little filly. Lil Cheese snatched it up and stabbed it into a wheel of cheese, where it vanished without a trace. "Yes! He said you could get this for him." She looked at the group, alongside me and Ahuizotl, there were three others; Birch Bucket, Lavender Essence, and Parcel Post. I knew very little about either of them but trusted Ahuizotl above all else. "Now about our way inside?!" Ahuizotl leaned down to the filly's height. "You really can't expect to use that magical cheese wheel on all of us." "No, it's travel is very narrow. Designed for me and others my size." Lil Cheese deadpanned. "Instead, I will need to break the fourth wall." "What?!" We watched in utter confusion as Lil Cheese's hoof reached beyond our sight. Everything around us moved to one side and suddenly we were inside the vault. Around us was the most impressive hoard of diamonds I had ever seen. It felt too big an amount to fit inside the room. As if the building was far bigger on the inside. "Okay, now that was something!" Lanvender cheered, being the only one to have a positive reaction to this. "Where are we?" Birch asked, taking her time to look at the beautiful stones. "It's crazy!! I like bells too!!" Parcel screamed abruptly at the top of his lungs. All of us were completely caught off guard by his loud and shaking actions. Plus, there were no bells in the safe at all, we thought it was rather strange. Luckily, the walls of the safe were soundproof so nopony outside heard him. I slapped Ahuizotl on the shoulder for bringing such a disarranged soul on this mission. "Not my choice. The boss's orders." Ahuizotl hissed at me. "Something about him being a bell detector." "Since when do you take orders?" I raised an eyebrow at him. "Since I was paid very well for it." Ahuizotl pointed the way through the maze of gems as his allies filled my cat litter boxes. "Now let's make this a race." That got my spirit back up. We traveled through the mass of diamonds in a swift motion, filling up each box to full capacity. Soon enough my phone rang twice, and I answered in tired distress, "What? Who's there?!" I didn't mean to make my voice sound so offputting, but my old age was causing me to fall behind. "It's me, Babs Seed. I'm delivering your cat food today." "Oh wow, that's expensive!" I shouted back at the diamonds, unable to hear myself as Parcel Post continued to shout random nonsense behind me. "What are you talking about?" She replied back. "You won't beat me Ahuiz--" I raced behind Ahuizotl to fill up my box as fast as possible. "What did you say?" Babs Seed sounded like she was in a lot of distress herself. I wanted to be concerned, but my competitive side overtook my reason for caring. "Granny, Answer me?!" I ignored her voice. "Got to go little mare?! Lil--" I hung up the phone and jumped over Lil Cheese to slam my box shut, standing proud as the victor. It was tiresome, but fun. I thought we were almost finished until I turned back around and saw that we barely made a dent in the massive amount. ****** "Hold on, Lil Cheese was in there with you!" Captain Braeburn interrupted, getting right in her face. "Yes, I already said that she was our way in." Golden Delicious pushed him aside and drank her tea as she was now out of breath. Talking to them about anything seemed to leave her tired. They didn't know if it was her old age or all part of her act. "But how could she be on the airship with Babs Seed, and with you in the vault at the same time." Luster Dawn pressed. "Bells, interesting..." Blueblood's only comment during the second chunk of her story. He knew there was a detail that Golden Delicious was holding back on. He just didn't know what yet. What the stallion did know was these details had the biggest reveals all day. He decided to press the matter by pouring more tea for the old mare. "Please continue." > Granny POV (3/3): Stinky Avalanche > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I knew from the start this would be a long endeavor. However, as we traveled through the jewels, a problem was approaching us. There was simply too much to carry. It was starting to get difficult for the boxes to hold it all in. One by one, the lids started to creak open against all our efforts. "Why can't I get this one shut?!" Birch Bucket tackled it down, the lid of his box starting to pop off as well. "Maybe we should speak to the demonic bells within our souls!!" Parcel Post had been shouting random nonsense at the top of his lungs the entire time, making the tension all the harder on all of us. "Seriously, why did you bring him?" I pointed out. "He's clearly unstable." "I've noticed." Ahuizotl held a few more lids in place while I filled the last of the cat litter boxes. "That will have to do for now..." I grumbled in shame. There was simply too much to take out, plus if this Lil Cheese could take us back and forth into the vault so easily, it seemed kind of pointless to push our efforts so hard. "Wait a minute. Where is Lil Cheese?" I jumped around only to find her nowhere in sight. "I told you to watch her!" Ahuizotl pointed at Parcel Post. "Hey, I'm not that crazy!!" He pointed back. "I just really love bells!!" He held up an object we hadn't noticed before. It was a box with bell symbols all over it. "Wait, when did you find it?!" Ahuizotl rushed over in such a fuss that he knocked down several boxes we just got finish filling. "Oh, how I love hearing you sing!! My dark lord!!" Parcel Post swung the strange box back and forth, completely ignoring Ahuizotl. "Put that down, it's the sole reason we are here!!" Ahuizotl yelled. "That's the song I feel inside!!" He hit the box hard with his hooves. "It's the song of eternal darkness!! Hidden under the forge of ten trillion diamonds!!" "Parcel Post, this is no time for music!" Ahuizotl shook the pony violently. "We have what we need now we can leave." "What?!" I stood in front of Ahuizotl in disbelief. "We came here for this massive horde of diamonds, not for a random box with fancy bell art on it?" "It not just a box!!" Parcel Post slapped Ahuizotl aside. "It is the greatest magical artifact in all the land, once wielded by--" He was silenced by Ahuizotl's tail hand. "Magical artifacts?" My eyebrows raised in shock and greater confusion. "Beloved, this is a mission between us. Magical Artifacts are that damn Daring Do's kink!" I pointed at him accusingly. "I know! But their master offered us this entire horde of diamonds if we remove the box from this vault." He tried reasoning with me, but I had heard enough. "No, if you want such a thing go to that whore of a writer for help, not me!!" I threw one of the boxes at him. "There is nothing in this hoard worth taking is there!" I shook the boxes of diamonds to prove my point. "You don't understand, just carrying out a few dozen boxes won't matter as this collection is near endless!!" He tried to plead with me. "And even more crazy, time doesn't matter in here. You could spend eons counting all these diamonds. That way you could never grow old and I would never need to abandon you--" I stopped him by slapping him across the face. "You did all this so our time together would never end." I cupped his face in my hooves. "Yes..." "To lock me away in a vault like the other gems in your collection." My words shattered his eyes as it was the truth. I knew from the beginning that I was far from his first love. I doubt even Daring Do would be his last. I knew right away what this was, an attempt to keep me perfect for all eternity. All his mares were just part of his collection. I could see this as plain as day now. I wasn't special, just one among trillions, just like any random diamond in this vault. "I see the truth now." I stepped away from him, not giving the old monkey any kiss at all. "This is the true treasure you have collected." I turned away and walked over to the door of the vault. "Wait?" He pleaded with me. "We can make this work." "Listen..." I spoke softer and reached into my bag of goodies. "I'm an old mare. I know when my time has come." I pulled out a large explosive, shocking them all. "But I know how to go out with a bang!!" A fiery explosion tore through the door, much to the shock of everypony inside and out and a giant avalache of diamonds flooded down the mountain. Plenty of them were covered in the stink of my cat litter, so I'm not surprised when Babs Seed witness the sheer madness. It was an easy assumption to make. The mass carried me down the mountain and crashed me into the chimney where I got tied up in the ropes from the boxes. I fell and bounced into the bedroom, before landing in the closet. Luckily a few minutes later a stallion shoved a cute little pegasus filly into the closet with me. This filly spoke with a mare's voice so I assumed it had to be trapped in a similar fate to Babs Seed. Hearing Babs Seed in danger, I quickly ignored the thought and tried to break free. I was able to use it squishy body to break down the door. Don't worry, strangely enough, it enjoyed every second a little too well. "Oh yeah, hit me harder, Shining Armor!" A seductive mare's voice screamed in utter delight from the filly's mouth. ****** Both Blueblood and Luster Dawn had a full spit take at that answer. The shock and confusion were only increased by Chrysalis's moaning in the background, echoing from Cozy Glow's mouth as she remembered every detail. This was luckily silenced by a cattle prong from Lightning Dust. "Hold on, you mean to tell me that avalanche was a giant slide of diamonds?!" Braeburn rushed over and demanded. "You know of this?" Luster Dawn asked. "Well, not all the details before now." The captain took a step back to his radio. "Double the guards and double the weapons. It's a prime connection to the scene I am heading right now." "How long have you known about this other crime scene?" Blueblood curiously poked. "Since the beginning." Captain Braeburn stood up proudly. "Before we thought it was just a massive horde of cat litter." "All the other stories mentioning a cat litter avalanched didn't sound familiar... at all?" Luster Dawn pushed. "No--" Captain Braeburn stopped abruptly upon realizing how idiotic his statement sounded. "Oh, sorry." "Either way, I now have all the details I need." Blueblood raised his hoof and called all the suspects back into the living room. "I know who is responsible for all this evil and where the Crystal Heart really is." ******