Hoodwinked: The Pony Edition

by Lighttone GryphonStar

Derpy's POV (1/2): Completely Off Track

My day started off really great. I jumped out of bed and checked on the kids. Turning on the oven I grabbed the newspaper and waited patiently for the oven to beep. I attempted to read... again, just like every day, but that went nowhere as every word on the newspaper was utter jibberish.

After a while, I manage to hear the beep of the oven through the chaos of the background morning noises. The other sounds were coming from the basement, so I just assumed Doctor Whooves was experimenting again. I pulled out the tray and buttered all five muffins and sat down to wait for the kids to wake up.

Unfortunately, I was a little impatient as I always am, and bit into my blueberry muffin. I savored its soft and tasty bread, grinning as the blueberries busted between my teeth. It was so good.

I wanted to take a second bite, but then the strangest thing happened. I swore to you this happened, a laser shot by and blasted the muffin from my hoof. I pouted for at the sight of the muffin's brutal remains on the floor. Doctor Whooves rushed out of the basement, more lasers chasing behind him.

"Sorry, Derpy!" He landed in his chair and spun it around, making it into a shield against the lasers. "Apparently, we have bigger problems than breakfast." He ducked down as these strange machines floated up the stairs.

"Wait, you changed again?!" I questioned his appearance. "Why are you a stallion?!"

One of the machines blew up the coffee maker and moved around the table. Doctor Whooves kicked it back and complained, "I've been a stallion before, honey!" He grabbed a plate and reflected the beam.

"Yes, but I just got used to being a lesbian with you!" After all the hard work I did at the courthouses and the companies. You could understand my annoyance for him to go back, but then that is how regeneration works. "Could you have chosen a big strong strapping young black stallion--" I was interrupted by a laser flying by cinching my hair. "Or a flamboyant black stallion would have been fine too?!"

"Oh come, everypony love this face." He laughed and stood up. "After all, it's a fan favorite!" He charged forward.

With a quick rush, he managed to push the robots back downstairs into the basement where the Tardis was. I think he said the robots were garlic, no it was a balek. No, that's not the right word either. Oh wait, it was a Dalek! Those rolling bots that want to kill us all. Oh, and they were screaming, "EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE," nonstop.

Supposedly, the Daleks had aligned themselves with a goat or was it an alpaca, or maybe it was a llama?

******

"Derpy, Derpy, we don't time for your fanfictions!" Luster Dawn interrupted.

"Fanfiction, never heard of it." Derpy rolled her eyes around in a goofy fashion.

"Right?" Blueblood raised an eyebrow. "Can we maybe move the story to when you got on the airship?"

"But, then you'll miss the giant three hundred year long time paradox we got stuck in on our way to the airship... Doctor Whooves used it to stop the rolling bots' plans for world domination, but the goat escaped. Luckily, he found a way to reset our ages..."

The group is confused by her story. Neither way seeing the point of wasting several minutes on it.

Seeing their lack of trust in her words, Derpy quickly corrected what she thought was the most important part. "At least I think I'm still in my thirties..."

The updates did little to stir concern in their minds. Luster Dawn was simply facepalming at the waste, Blueblood was rubbing his head and Captain Braeburn was in a mix of gasp of annoyed shock. All three didn't believe a single word she said.

"Derpy..." Blueblood calmed himself. "As lovely as that story sounds..."

"Just please get back on the subject!" Luster Dawn interrupted.

"I was, I told you every detail of my morning!" Derpy argued.

"No," Blueblood placed his hoof between the two mares. "Just get to the part involving the airship crash."

"Fine..." Derpy gave a soft pout. "I was making a delivery to Manehatten."

Author's Note:

This might have seemed like a random side tangent, but then again it might not have been. Every detail is important, even the most bizarre and unrelated.

Also sorry for posting this so late. Last week was very busy and straining on me so I decided to post it on the last day of February. I'm thinking since this month is always chaotic I might restrain posts for February to one chapter of anything and nothing else.

Either way, next month, Journey To Hearth's Warming returns from its winter break and Hoodwinked gets the second half of Derpy's story, yes, her section is that short. But it is very important.