Later that evening, the Mane Six, along with Spike, sat together just outside Shrek’s home in the swamp and about a few paces away from the house (Or at least out of hearing range). They set up a campfire at a spot near the pond, the light of the flames cast upon the murky water. For some reason, Donkey remained by the front porch of Shrek’s home, keeping an eye on the ogre while surprisingly being ‘quiet’ about it. To even suggest that it had been a tumultuous day for the group was an understatement. First, they were taken captive by Duloc guards who answered to some guy named ‘Lord Farquaad’. Next thing they know, they meet a few new friends and a giant green ogre with serious people issues.
And now here they were, sitting under the stars in the midst of the swamp that Shrek called home. Apart from the pesky mosquitos which some ponies had to swat away with their tails and the occasional smells of the swamp, not to mention all the dirt and mud they laid upon, looking up at the night sky nearly made them forget how harsh this land was… almost.
“Sure is a nice night out, ain’t it sugar cube?” Applejack asked Rainbow.
“It’s alright,” Rainbow responded seriously. “It’d be nicer if the two of us were in a nice cozy bed instead of laying on the ground in the middle of a smelly swamp.”
“Finally… some pony understands,” Rarity muttered, brushing herself. “It’ll take forever to clear all this mud off my coat… please let it be mud.”
“Aw come on now, it could be worse,” Applejack replied.
It was then Pinkie Pie popped up between Applejack and Rainbow Dash, placing her hooves around their shoulders.
“She’s abso-positively right!” She smiled. “We could very well be stranded on some deserted island, in the midst of a big ocean, forced to make the most of our resources before we eventually go bad and resort to talking to a volleyball for company or a disembodied pig head covered in flies impaled on a spear for fear of a ‘monster’.”
“… Pinkie, I swear your comparisons get crazier by the day,” Rainbow shook her head.
“I know… it’s weird!” Pinkie giggled.
Just then, a rustling sound drew the entire group’s attention and they jumped to their feet/hooves in preparation. Assuming the defensive stance, they glanced intensely into the darkness. Much to their relief, however, Apple White and Raven Queen emerged from the trees and into the clearing.
“There you girls are!” Twilight sighed in relief. “You’ve been gone for hours; I was worried we’d have to come looking for you.”
“Don’t worry, we’re fine,” Raven assured her. “We’ve been traversing this land for a very long time.”
“But why were you girls gone so long?” Fluttershy asked.
“As we mentioned before, we needed the time to find information,” Apple responded. “As it turns out, the majority of these fairytale creatures had been taken from every corner of this land. It doesn’t matter where they hide or who they are, Duloc’s on the hunt and they are the game.”
“How awful!” Rarity gasped.
“Our hope right now is to find a way to help as much as we can,” Raven nodded.
The two girls made their way to join their new friends around the fire and sat alongside them.
“How did you two get mixed up in all this anyway?” Twilight asked.
Raven and Apple faced each other, clearly hesitant over wanting to tell these creatures. Though Apple had a sad look on her face, she gave her nod of approval. Raven released a deep sigh before facing their new allies.
“It’s like this,” She began. “We come from a land known as the ‘United Fairytale Kingdoms’. It’s a land where all the realms of famous stories are joined together as one under one ruler. That being Apple’s mom, Snow White.”
The Mane Six and Spike leaned closely, listening with intent as the two unveiled their story.
“In the heart of the U.F.K., there’s a magical school called ‘Ever After High’,” Raven continued. “It’s a place where the children of the most famous fairytale creatures learn how to follow their fairytale destinies. For a long time it worked… that is until I showed up at the school.”
“What do you mean, darling?” Rarity asked.
“Well, when I attended Ever After High, I didn’t want to be an evil Queen like my mom before me. So the day I came to Legacy Day, which is where we’re supposed to sign an ancient ‘Storybook of Legends’ to follow our destinies, I refused to sign. After that day, things started changing at Ever After High.
“More and more kids sought to follow their own paths rather than the ones their legacies set up for them. So they started following my example and created what’s known as the ‘Rebel Movement’.”
“That still doesn’t explain how you ended up here,” Rainbow pointed out.
“I’m getting there,” Raven muttered. “But I should warn you our story… doesn’t have a happy ending.”
“For a long while, things were actually peaceful in the U.F.K.,” Apple continued sadly. “Everyone was getting along, things were falling into place, it was all wonderful. Then… it happened.”
“What happened?” Pinkie asked curiously.
“We were invaded,” Apple responded. “An unknown army in red-and-gold armor, carrying a flag of a lion, raided our lands. They… they…”
Tears rolled down the poor girl’s face as she started sobbing uncontrollably. She buried herself in Raven’s shoulder, silently apologizing between cries. The dark-haired teen placed her arm comfortingly around her friend.
“They cut down anyone in sight,” Raven finished. “Men… women… children… it didn’t matter to them. They burned our houses, massacred thousands, even kidnapped Apple’s mom and took her Godmother only knows where.”
“That’s… horrible!” Twilight spoke in shock.
“Fortunately, we managed to evade them and escaped to the outskirts of Ever After High,” Raven continued. “Being an expert on hexes, I was able to conjure up a portal through my book of spells so we could escape. Next thing you know, we landed here thinking we’d be safe… and then those knights captured us once… twice… multiple times.”
The Mane Six and Spike couldn’t help but feel extremely sorry for these poor girls. To think that their own lands were invaded and neither one were prepared for an attack. Watching helplessly as everyone they knew were killed and the whole kingdom burned to the ground. They couldn’t even begin to imagine such a thing happening to Equestria, but it only demonstrated that whatever forces they were dealing with they were not their average ‘monster of the week’ villains.
“Anyways…” Apple White broke the silence. “I hope you don’t mind if we invite some small company to join us tonight.”
“What do you mean ‘small company’?” Spike asked, raising a brow.
Raven Queen turned to the side and gave a shrilling whistle toward the darkness. Before the Equestrian heroes could say anything, more rustling was heard. All eyes turned toward the trees and sure enough a group of fairytale creatures entered the swamp. The group consisted of, but not limited to: Pinocchio, the Three Pigs, The Three Bears… sorry, ‘Two’ bears (The Papa and the Baby… no Mama), the Big Bad Wolf, Sugar Plum Fairy, the Ugly Duckling, the Mad Hatter, Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dum, the Shoemaker’s Elf, Peter Pan carrying Tinker Belle in the cage, and a Wicked Witch. Some of them carried suitcases or any other possessions they could carry, they were grumbling and mumbling amongst each other as they looked around their new surroundings.
“Right this way,” Apple White ushered kindly. “Don’t mind the mud.”
“You get used to it,” Raven Queen added.
“This place is a dump!” Pinocchio complained.
“It’s not fit for a pig!” Wolf agreed.
“Hello!! Vee can hear you!” The pigs called out, in German accents.
“Vee are standing right here!” One pig added.
“Look, I know a swamp is the last place we want for shelter,” Raven Queen spoke. “But you’ve all read Lord Farquaad’s decree.”
“Yeah, yeah, we read it,” Pinocchio rolled his eyes. “’All fairytale creatures have been banished from the kingdom of Duloc. All fruitcakes and freaks will be sent to a resettlement facility’.”
One of the fairytale creatures, the Shoemaker’s Elf, approached Apple White and tugged her sleeves. She looked toward the little elf, who’s head barely reached under her chin.
“Ma’am… it smells like butt,” The elf squeaked.
“I know sweetie…” Apple White spoke gently.
“Now that I can agree with,” Rarity replied. “How any creature can stand to call a swamp their home is beyond me.”
“Mah family have clients who live in the swamp,” Applejack pointed out. “Ya don’t hear them complainin’.”
“Alright, alright, let’s make sure we’re all together,” Raven Queen spoke up. “When I call your name step forward. Pinocchio the Puppet!”
“I’m not a puppet, I’m a real boy,” Pinocchio argued.
Once again, Pinocchio’s nose grew with a *BWOOOOP* while some of the ponies leaned away from the extension. Pinocchio turned left and right, leaving some of the group ducking. An awkward laugh stirred out of the puppet.
“Go join the others right by the fire,” Raven instructed.
“Thank you very much,” Pinocchio spoke meekly, approaching the Equestrians.
“Shoemaker’s elf!” Raven called out. “Ugly Duckling-“
As Raven went over the rollcall for the motley group of outcasts checking in, Pinocchio settled in next to the ponies and Spike.
“Dumped on a swamp,” Pinocchio grumbled, sitting on a rock. “Man, I tell ya, sometimes being a fairytale creature sucks pine-sap!”
And by the time the song came to an end, all the fairytale creatures slumped beside the Mane Six and Spike mostly chatting amongst themselves.
“Settle in, everyone,” Apple White instructed. “We’ll have to make the best of this.”
“Seeing as it’s our only choice,” Raven Queen replied, cringing. “Wow, this place reeks…”
As the Ever After High girls helped organized the creatures, Spike slowly leaned in toward Twilight Sparkle.
“What are they all doing here?” Spike asked confused. “Thought the girls said they were locked up earlier today.”
“I’m not really sure,” Twilight responded. “But one thing’s for sure, Shrek isn’t going to be happy about this.”
“I only wonder what he must be doing right now,” Fluttershy wondered. “Or even how he’ll feel when he sees a few fairytale creatures here.”
“A few?” Raven Queen raised her brow. “Honey, I’ve got some ‘bad’ news…”
<>
In the meanwhile, completely unaware of the activity happening outside, Shrek was having a comfortable evening in that swamp hut of his. With a pot boiling by the fire, Shrek had just prepared dinner: A slug he had caught earlier as well as what appeared to be a pumpkin. He even helped himself to a drink, with an eyeball instead of an olive which he gulped down in a single sip.
It had been hours since he had encountered those strange little creatures, who made themselves at home with the ogre… albeit they’d stay outdoors. One moment, he peered toward the door wondering if they were still out by the patio or if they had left. It had been awful quiet, even that talkative donkey was rarely silent. But he just took a breath, determined not to let the thought cloud his mind. As far as he was concerned, they’d be gone in the morning and he could return to his peaceful solitude, just the way he liked it.
To finish the display on his table, he made himself a candle from his own earwax and proceeded to lit a bit of hair that was on top. Then, with the mood set, Shrek proceeded to eat his supper, helping himself to a slice of the pumpkin.
From outside, Donkey watched from the window seeing Shrek sitting alone by a table which seemed to be made for more than one person. How a creature could even be content with living alone? Now that the Donkey couldn’t possibly understand. But eventually, he settled down by the front door and made to put himself to sleep despite all the activity happening in the background.
How could he not have heard that big musical number earlier?
Do background stars really pay attention when the cast starts singing randomly?
… Fair point.
But if Donkey nor any of the Equestrians had ‘any’ Earthly idea as to why Shrek preferred to be alone, the thought would never have come up. It was such a long time ago… back when Shrek was… very young…
<>
Flashback…
Once upon a time, Shrek was but a little ogre who lived with his parents in a bog by a tree. Like all ogre homes, it was a pretty nasty place, but as mentioned before ogres ‘like’ nasty and he was happy. On his 7th birthday, the little ogre’s parents sat him down to talk, just as all ogre parents had for hundreds of years before…
The parents blew their party horns over the news… but of course the little ogre looked around greatly confused. But right away, his parents packed him up to leave…
And as his parents faded into the distance, the little Shrek continued walking to places unknown. Yes, it was very sad, but ogres were used to that—the hardships, the indiginities, the endless stream miser—
*Random civilian screaming and running at the sight of the little ogre.*
*Clears throat* And so the little ogre went on his merry way and wherever he went crowds would welcome him with festive torches, hatchets—and fun things like that.
*Deploy ‘Happy Villagers’ with torches and pitchforks sneaking toward the ogre.*
But whenever the little ogre tried to join in the fun—
*Shrek turned and scared the villagers, sending them screaming and flailing about.*
… his new friends would suddenly realize they had other things to do.
*Little Shrek is replaced with Older Shrek*
So, the ogre did what his parents had told him to: He found a perfectly rancid swamp and there he stayed for many years, all alone, but very happy with how his life turned out…
<>
End of flashback…
Shrek sighed to himself as memories briefly flooded back into his head… until he caught himself humming that familiar tune. Shaking himself back to reality, Shrek was just about to take another bite of his dinner…
*CREAK!*
A noise drew his attention and the ogre stood up with a huff.
“I thought I told you to stay outside!” He said in irritation.
“We are outside!” Donkey called out.
It was then Shrek heard another noise, only this time it was coming from inside his house. Shrek turned, trying to find the source. Several shadows started moving about the walls and Shrek slowly looked around. All of a sudden, he caught sight of the intruders: the Three Blind Mice, their coats white as fur and each wearing sunglasses and canes. Two of them stumbled about the table trying to find their way… all the while bumping into random objects and inadvertently making a mess.
“Well, gents, it’s a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we have?” The first mouse spoke.
“It’s not home, but it’ll do just fine,” The second mouse said.
Off to the side, their third companion was bouncing up and down on the slug.
“What a lovely bed.”
“GOT YA!”
Shrek grabbed the mouse, but the little devil escaped and landed on his shoulder. He took a sniff at one of the ogre’s ears.
“I found some cheese!” The mouse called.
The little mouse bit Shrek’s ear and he yelled out in pain. He tried to grab for the mouse, but the blind little fellow was too quick.
“Blah! Awful stuff.”
Eventually, the blind mouse hopped down on the table and landed on a spoon, which flipped a bit of soup right into the ogre’s face (Much to his chagrin).
“Is that you, Forder?” One of the mice asked.
“How did you know?” Gorder replied.
“Enough!”
Finally, the ogre grabbed all three mice at once. Panicked, the mice waved their canes around and struggled to break free.
“What are you doing in my house?” The ogre interrogated.
But before he could get an answer, something bumped him from behind and he dropped the mice. He turned around, only to find the Seven Dwarves having placed Snow White, this universe’s Snow White, on the table as she slept in her glass coffin. One of the dwarves waved sheepishly toward the annoyed ogre.
“Oh, no, no, no. Dead broad off the table!”
Shrek and the dwarves fought it out, pushing the coffin from one end of the table to the other, while the three blind mice made their escape.
“Where are we supposed to put her?” One dwarf asked. “The bed’s taken.”
“Huh?”
Confused, Shrek marched over to the bedroom and threw back the curtain. And somehow, the Big Bad Wolf had snuck in and laid himself comfortable in the bed.
“What?” The Wolf asked.
But by now, Shrek had had just about enough. He grabbed the Big Bad Wolf by the collar and proceeded to drag him toward the front door.
“I live in a swamp, I put up signs, I’m a terrifying ogre!” Shrek muttered, opening the door. “What do I have to do to get a little privacy?!”
Shrek had just thrown the Wolf out the door… when he couldn’t believe what his eyes saw before him. A whole horde of fairytale creatures, with the Equestrians and their friends in the middle, setting up camp in his very swamp. Several emotions began to form in his head: Confusion… but mostly anger.
“Oh, no…” Shrek shook his head. “No! NO!!!”
Shrek dodged out of the way as a group of witches flew on broomsticks. All around the ogre, everywhere he looked, there was one form of activity after another. Some elves and Rainbow Dash were directing flight traffic so the witches and a few fairies had a safe place to land; Applejack and Apple White were busily serving soup to a line of fairytale creatures waiting to eat; the Pied Piper played his pipe beckoning all the rats to run to him while Pinkie gaped with awe; and the two bears sat around the fire, the papa and Fluttershy trying to comfort the weeping little bear over the loss his mother.
Like that 1988 classic by that French guy…
Focus please…
The ogre was overwhelmed by all this activity, so many unfamiliar faces taking up all his living space. He could feel the rage start to build like a volcano about to erupt, and he could no longer hold it in…
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP?!!!!”
Shrek’s voice echoed throughout the whole came and everyone fell silent. All eyes turned toward the angry ogre; the fairytale creatures gasped in unison. The Three Good Fairies ducked into a nearby tent, while some gnomes ducked behind a tree. Shrek’s eye twitched as he raised one eyebrow toward the ponies, specifically towards Twilight Sparkle, who chuckled nervously.
“Heh, heh… uh… hi Shrek?” Twilight waved feebly. “This isn’t what it looks like—”
“All right, get out of here!” Shrek ordered, waving his arm. “All of you, move it! Come on! Let’s go! Hapaya! Hapaya! Hey!”
While Shrek tried to force all the fairytale creatures to go away, several dwarves and a few other creatures raced toward the ogre’s house.
“No, no! No, no. Not there! Not there!”
But the fairytale creatures slammed the door behind them, leaving only one unfortunate fairy behind. Shrek fiddled with the door handle, unable to pry it over. He gave Donkey and the Equestrians an annoyed look.
“Hey, don’t look at me!” Donkey spoke up. “I didn’t invite them.”
“We’re just as surprised as you are,” Spike agreed.
“It’s our fault,” Apple White admitted. “They didn’t know where else to go; Raven and I were just trying to help—”
“What?!” Shrek snapped.
“Well gosh, we were forced to come here,” Pinocchio explained.
“Forced? By whom?”
“Lord Farquaad!” Pig #2 answered. “He hoofed und he poofed, und he signed an eviction notice.”
“That’s worse than the time the Riches tried to evict me and the Cakes out of Sugarcube Corner!” Pinkie complained, then realized. “Huh… I wonder whatever happened to Spoiled and Filthy anyway…”
“Well, not my problem!” Shrek argued. “Now you all need to turn around and go back where you came from.”
“Go back?!” The Mad Hatter gasped. “We can’t go back!”
“Farquaad vil turn us into bratvurst!” Pig #1 cried.
“Is he really as terrible as everyone says he is?” Rainbow asked, skeptically.
“Oh… the guy’s bad news,” The Wolf replied, reading a magazine.
“Hey, may you could talking to him, da?” Sugar Plum Fairy suggested, in a thick Russian accent.
“Yeah, he’ll listen to you!” The Elf squeaked. “You’re big and scary.”
“I’m also an ogre, which means I stay on my swamp, and avoid large crowds,” Shrek emphasized. “Or haven’t you read the stories?”
“HA! You mean those stories that say I’m a big ‘bad’ wolf?” Wolf asked mockingly.
“And the ones that say I’m a ‘wicked’ witch?” Witch added.
To which everyone laughed uproariously, as Pinocchio stepped up.
“Or… or the ones that say I’m a ‘wooden’ boy!”
To which an uncomfortable silence came, while the Equestrians looked around trying to avoid Pinocchio’s gaze.
“I wanna tell him…” Applejack whispered.
“Don’t you dare…” Rarity scolded lightly.
“What? I’m not a wooden boy,” Pinocchio argued.
His nose suddenly grew with a *BWOOOOP!*. Before anyone could say anything, he raised a finger.
“I have a glandular condition.”
“Whatever you say pal…” Raven nodded, cringing.
“Look here, ogre, I’m gonna spell it out for ya,” The Witch approached. “We don’t want us here any more than you do. But you’re the only one tough enough to stand up to that no-good flim-flammer Farquaad.”
“And what does that make us?” Rainbow asked, insulted. “Chopped liver?”
“You get numbed to it after a while…” Spike replied.
“Tough enough?” Shrek repeated. “You don’t even know me.”
But as the Equestrians and their friends could see, these fairytale creatures were not giving up. Determined, they approached the ogre. Some of whom bent down on one knee, pleading for him to reconsider.
“ALRIGHT!!!” Shrek shouted, sighing. “Alright, I get it… who knows where this… ‘Farquaad’ guy is?”
At the mere mention of Lord Farquaad, all the other fairytale creatures gasped. As plain as it was for Twilight and her friends to see, not one of them was willing to answer directly.
“Oh, I do!” Donkey spoke up. “I know where he is!”
“He did say he was a GPS with fur!” Pinkie reminded.
“Does anyone else know where to find him?” Shrek asked.
Amongst the crowd, Baby Bear raised his hand eagerly. But Papa Bear quickly lowered the hand down with a shake of his head. The Big Bad Wolf and a wizard pointed at each other.
“Anyone at all?” Shrek repeated.
“Me! Me!” Donkey hopped about.
“Anyone?”
“Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know! Me, me!”
“I volunteer to go with you!” Twilight stepped forward.
The fairytale creatures gasped and murmured as the alicorn princess stepped forward. Some of whom admired such bravery from a little pony, while others thought she was nuts.
“You know the way to Farquaad?” Shrek asked skeptically.
“No… but some pony needs to take a stand,” Twilight replied, contrarywise. “I’ve seen what’s become of these creatures first hand; as princess, I can’t stand idly by while creatures get hurt. So we need to see this Farquaad guy ourselves and demand the right for these creatures to go free.”
“Then I reckon we ought to be joinin’ ya too Twi!” Applejack spoke, facing the ogre. “We’re stickin’ with ya like caramel on a candy apple. Ya have my strength!”
“And you have my magic!” Rarity stepped forward.
“And my speed!” Rainbow flew above.
“And my… overwhelming bag of positivity and love of parties!” Pinkie squealed.
Spike made way to join the girls, when he slowly turned to see Fluttershy hesitant to go.
“You know… maybe one of us should stay here and keep an eye on the fairytale creatures,” Fluttershy smiled nervously. “I mean who needs to talk to Farquaad, anyway?”
“Fluttershy…” Spike tipped his head.
“Okay…”
Reluctantly, Fluttershy stepped forward with Spike patting the shy Pegasus gently.
“Might as well be going too,” Apple White volunteered. “We owe it to these fairytale creatures after all this trouble they went through. We brought them to the swamp; now we have to get them home.”
“I honestly had nothing better to do with my life, so count me in,” Raven joined in.
Seeing that ‘these’ were the ragtag bunch of creatures that Shrek would be leading to join his quest, he massaged the ever-growing migraine out of his head. But beggars can’t be choosers, and he clearly knew these guys weren’t changing their minds.
“Okay… fine,” Shrek sighed. “Attention all… fairytale things! Do NOT get comfortable! Your welcome is officially worn out! In fact, I’m gonna go see this Farquaad guy right now, and get you all off my land and back where you came from!”
There was a brief silence amongst all the fairytale creatures, until…
“YAY!!!”
The whole crowd erupted with cheering and applause… which was ‘not’ Shrek’s intention at all. A group of birds draped a cloak made of flowers around Shrek’s shoulders, much to his annoyance. Some of the girls thought it funny, with Rainbow and Pinkie giggling over it. But then some birds placed a flowery necklace around Rainbow’s neck to her shock and she groaned.
“You!” Shrek pointed at Donkey. “You’re comin’ with us!”
Shrek brushed the cloak onto the muddy floor and made his way through the crowd. The birds came back to place a wreath of flowers on the remainder of the travelers, including Donkey. Together, the ogre, the ponies, the princesses, the dragon, and Donkey began to work their way through the crowd.
“All right, that’s what I like to hear, man!” Donkey said excitedly. “Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart friends, off on a whirlwind big-city adventure.”
“This is going to be the best adventure ever!” Pinkie hollered.
As they walked away from the crowd, Shrek grabbed the torch from a dwarf cheering them on, who refused to let go. Shrek shook the torch until the dwarf fell into the pond.
“’Time to say goodbye! Time to say farewell…’” Donkey sang. “Sing it with me, Pinkie!”
“’Time for us to fly! It’s been really swell—‘” Pinkie sang.
“What did I say about singing?” Shrek warned, yanking the wreathes off.
“Can we whistle?” Pinkie asked.
“No.”
“Can we hum it?” Donkey asked.
“All right, hum it.”
Soon Donkey and Pinkie began humming the tune, as the whole team walked off into the night with Shrek’s torch lighting the way. As they ventured through the woods, they stumbled upon a crossroads sign pointing in various directions. One of which said ‘Duloc’, where surely Farquaad resided at the heart of it all. But there was also another sign which read, ‘DO NOT CROSS THIS LINE! OGRE BEYOND!’. While the Equestrians, Donkey, and the Princesses casually stepped forward… they stopped. Turning around, they saw Shrek seemingly hesitant to cross.
“What’s the matter big guy?” Rainbow asked, with a smirk. “You’re not afraid are you?”
“Of course not!” Shrek argued, sighing. “I just know once I step over this line… I’m in for the worst day of my life!”
“Yes… no… maybe so…” Pinkie replied, whimsically. “Or maybe… this could be the best day of your life.”
“I spent a few periods negotiating with royal diplomats as practice for ruling a kingdom,” Twilight said. “If Farquaad is supposedly behind the misery of these creatures, he may know a thing or two about the part our enemies have in this land.”
“We’ll convince that guy to surrender those fiends… and restore freedom for fairytales everywhere even if we have to fight for it!” Rainbow declared boldly. “… And get your swamp back, so we can leave you be.”
“Unless… you’d rather spend the rest of your life sharing your home with a bunch of squatters eating you out of house and home, hmm?” Raven raised her brow.
Whatever Raven Queen did, it was more than enough for Shrek to realize the severity of his situation. Taking a deep breath, he put one big foot across the border between the swamp and Duloc then took the next step. Soon Shrek was marching ahead of the group, taking the lead once more as the rest followed him.
“You know you can be really dark sometimes, right Raven?” Apple inquired.
“It’s called ‘reverse psychology’, nothing to do with evil,” Raven replied. “Mom used to pull that on me all the time.”
“Just let Farquaad ‘try’ and stop us,” Rainbow replied. “How scary can this guy possibly be?”
Yeah, and it’s something that he’ll most likely not like to see and hear
Amazing first part! Just saw the second one uploaded so gonna read it now
Eviction notice... when you have to leave your home whether you want to or not. You think we've had it rough, these fairytale creatures were once beloved icons either have to spend the rest of their days in disgusting living space... or get executed. And the only reason Shrek would even want to settle that is just so he can have the comfort and privacy of his own home. Least he'll have some travel buddies tagging along even if he only wanted some folks to tell him where the castle is.
Rainbow, you're in for a suprise...
Wow, that was fast. Quite the adaption. Also, I won't be able to comment until tomorrow. In a... Different location. Once I do, I'll get back to work. Just a quick heads up.
Hope you understand boss.
Honestly speaking, I've only heard bits about Ever After High. But listening to those girls' story... All I can say is: damn...
11470575
<<Previous
Big Mac: "Eeyup..."
Lyra: "Cool, how did that happen?"
Zatanna: " In the fairytale Peter Pan a fairy named Tinker Bell uses her special dust to grant people the ability to fly."
Zatanna: " The catch though is you have to think happy thoughts and the moment you say something doubtful it stops working.
Bon Bon: " Fascinating! If we can somehow use this fairy dust Unicorns and Earth Ponies could begin to mast the abilities Pegasi have."
Ember: "Oh no. Don't let this be another musical, like The Greatest Showman...."
Ember: "Oh yeah! NOW we're talking!"
Starlight Glimmer: "Now that's angry birds!"
Sweetie Belle: "I hope the three pigs are alright."
General Supernova: " A good soldier never leaves a man behind."
Apple Bloom: "Oh no...him again."
Diamond Tiara: "Sir Stinks-a-Lot with no Personal Hygiene..."
Sweetie Belle: (Puts her hooves together and pleaded) "Please don't eat my sister and her friends!"
Tubby Nugget: " Nothing!"
Ember, Smolder, and every dragons in the theater: "DRAGON!!!"
Tempest Shadow: "Hmmmm. Not so tough without your friends now. Are ya?"
Future G5
Discord Memorial Cinema
11469958
Me: (on the phone) Hello, this is PlymouthFury calling from the Memorial Cinema division. So, I just saw the latest Extra Cut and so I was wondering if Medusa was going to become, well obviously a mainstay for the Extra Cuts, but will it be to the point where she’s featured in the main story? (grumbles) Of course you’re not at liberty to say that. No no no no, I get it, I get it. I just wanted to make sure so that I wouldn’t end up confused alongside my audience. (sighs) Well…confused about something that I don’t understand along with my audience, like what happened with Apple and Raven. (sighs again, calming) Okay…okay, yeah. I’m sorry for calling prematurely. How’s Doc doing? Yikes. Thanks anyway. Goodbye.
I hung up, grumbling again. I get that whatever was planned for Medusa was up to my bosses and that I would have to patiently wait for them to be revealed, it didn’t help the fact that I was feeling…impatient.
I’m sorry, okay? I get impatient easily.
Anyway…I returned to my seat while the film continued.
Izzy: Look at that! You can clearly see the night sky!
Me: You don’t get views like that in the city.
Me: (deadpan) Please stop saying that.
Izzy: Yeah! You’re gonna jinx yourselves!
Me: I hear that, Izzy.
Sunny: Wh-what was she talking about?
Me: She was referencing the Lord of the Flies by Willaim Golding. It’s about a group of schoolboys who were stranded on an island and contend with the threat of a “beast” only to discover that most of the boys have resorted to loving the hunt and killing each other.
Pipp: What?!
Me: I know. It’s one of my favorites.
Me: It’s literally the Holocaust of the Fairytales.
Sunny: What’s a “holocaust”?
Me: Never again ask me that question.
Me: Yeah, I’m curious myself, honestly.
Izzy: (gasps) No happy ending?!
Me: (sarcasm) No…I would not have guessed. (sighs) I hate destinies.
This time around, I was left speechless.
Sunny: W-w-w-what?! No!
Zipp: Eesh…
Hitch: H-h-h-h-h-ho…why?!
Me: (sighs) Okay, something’s up here and whatever it is comes from some other corner of the media multiverse.
Pipp: That’s not fair!
Zipp: We had it easy compared to them, Pipp.
Me: So…has Duloc outlawed capital punishment or something?
Me: Oh…so it wasn’t the knights who were responsible for the relocation.
Izzy: That was nice of them!
Me: I always found it funny how the three pigs are portrayed with German accents.
Izzy: They’re good friends, they are!
Sunny: That’s good for the fairytale creatures.
Zipp: I think Pinocchio’s got it worse out of all of them.
Hitch: I agree. Sold off by your own father? Who does that?
Haven: Must she put it so bluntly?
Alphabittle: Well…she’s not wrong.
Me: (laughing) That always gets me.
Izzy: (likewise) The nose knows, Pinocchio!
Alphabittle: (too) Wouldn’t it be something if that happened to everypony?
Izzy: Why? I don’t understand! You’re fairytales!
Zipp: Are they gonna start singing again?
Me: At least this time I can sing along.
Me: (with Pinocchio) Life is disappointing,
Whoa is what I know.
Outted by my nose,
That's just how it goes,
For poor Pinocchio.
Story of my life,
Always doomed to fail.
Cheated by a fox,
Swallowed by a whale.
That's the story of my life, oh yeah,
That's the story of my life.
Me: (with Shoemaker's Elf):
Strife is never ending.
Raven: (Spoken)
Peter Pan!
Me: (Peter Pan)
Banished from the town
Raven: (Spoken)
Ugly Duckling!
Me: (with Ugly Duckling)
They dragged me from the pond.
Me: (with Fairy Godmother)
They broke my magic wand.
Me: (with The Three Little Pigs)
Zey blew our condos down.
Raven: (Spoken)
Wicked Witch!
Me: (with Wicked Witch)
Life is but a witch hunt.
Me: (with Mad Hatter)
They ridiculed my hat.
Me: (with Three Little Pigs)
Zey zaid zat ve vere fat.
Me: (with Big Bad Wolf)
They tore my cotton granny dress,
And called me a hot and tranny mess.
Raven: (Spoken)
Sugar Plum Fairy!
Me: (with Chorus)
Story of my life.
Booted from ball
Told to go away.
Me: (with Humpty Dumpty)
Tumbled off a wall
Me: (with chorus)
That's the story of my life.
Raven: (Spoken)
Rabbit, you’re late again.
Me: (with White Rabbit)
That's the story of my life.
Raven: (Spoken)
Okay, that’s everyone.
Me: (with Chorus)
That's the story of my life.
Audience: (with Equestrians) WHAT?!!
Me: (with Chorus)
I always dreamed I'd get a happy ending.
Me: (with Wicked Witch)
And this right here,
Not how it goes.
Me: (with Chorus)
I always dreamed I'd get an ever after.
If this is it,
It blows (x3)
Me: (with Pinocchio, Spoken)
This is worse than that case of Dutch Elm Disease I caught in Tijuana.
Red: (thoughts) That reminds of a bicycle that got returned with a case of metal fatigue.
Tinny: (shudders) Metal fatigue.
Me: (with Chorus)
Story of my life,
All the wasted prayers.
All the broken dreams.
Me: (with The Two Bears)
All the broken chairs.
Me: (with Chorus)
All the damage done
Me: (with The Two Bears)
All the busted beds.
Me: (with Chorus)
All the shattered falls
Me: (with The Two Bears)
Porridge on our heads.
Me: (with Chorus)
That's the story of my life, yes sir.
That's the story of my life, oy vey.
That's the story of my,
Life~!
Me: Huh…they left that bit out of the live show. Oh well.
Pipp: Have you ever thought of professionally singing?
Me: Nah, I’ve never been one for fame and fortune.
Izzy: Wait a second! One of them’s the Wicked Witch! Except…she’s not looking quite as wicked as before.
Me: The Wicked Witch is one of those properties that’s free for public use, so…here’s one of many different interpretations.
Hitch: Is that how it is for most fairy tales?
Me: Almost all of them actually.
Me: Do these characters never learn to never say things like that?
Posey: They’re all loitering around Shrek’s property!
Me: Calm down, Posey. Screaming at the screen will only give you a sore throat and a migraine.
Zipp: How could he not have heard that big musical number earlier?
Me: Theater tricks.
Pipp: Yeah, that makes sense.
Zipp: No it doesn’t.
Pipp: That’s because you’ve never acted in a play before.
Me: This has got to be a very creative tactic of incorporating the overture from the musical.
Sunny: There’s a musical?
Me: Well, a Broadway adaptation of the movie. Much more successful than other adaptations.
Me: (with Shrek, spoken)
Once upon a time, there was a little ogre named Shrek
Who lived with his parents in a bog by a tree
It was a pretty nasty place
But he was happy because ogres like nasty
On his birthday, the little ogre's parents sat him down to talk
Just as all ogre's parents had for hundreds of years before
Me: (with Mama Ogre)
Listen son, you're growing up so quickly
Growing up, bigger by the day
Me: (with Papa Ogre)
Although we want you here
The rules are very clear
Me: (with Mama Ogre)
Now you're seven...
Me: (with Papa Ogre)
Now you're seven...
Me: (with Mama & Papa Ogre)
So it's time to go away
*blows party blowers (I don’t know their official name)*
Me: (with Papa Ogre)
Your Mama packed a sandwich for your trip
Me: (with Mama Ogre)
Your Papa packed your boots in case of snow
Me: (with Mama & Papa Ogre)
You're gonna make us proud, no backing up allowed
Me: (with Mama Ogre)
Just keep walking...
Me: (with Papa Ogre)
Just keep walking...
Me: (with Mama & Papa Ogre)
And you'll find somewhere to go
It's a big bright beautiful world
With happiness all around
It's peaches and cream
And every dream comes true
But not for you
It's a big, bright, beautiful world
With possibilities everywhere
And just around the bend
There's a friend or two
But not for you
Me: (with Mama Ogre)
We're ugly, son
Which means that life is harder
*Random civilian screaming and running at the sight of the little ogre.*
People hate the things they cannot understand
Me: (with Papa Ogre)
And when they look at us they tend to make a fuss
Me: (with Mama Ogre)
Burn our houses down
Me: (with Papa Ogre)
And chase us
Me: (with Mama & Papa Ogre)
Off our land
Me: This rings way too true for many people.
Izzy: You mean ogres weren’t the only creatures chased off their land and had their houses burned down?
Me: Uh-huh.
Izzy: Yikes.
Me: (with Mama & Papa Ogre)
It's important that you find a cozy cesspit
Me: (with Mama Ogre)
A place no one would ever dare to tread
Me: (with Mama & Papa Ogre)
And if they happen by make sure you terrify them
Me: (with Mama Ogre)
If you don't, son...
Me: (with Papa Ogre)
If you don't, son...
Me: (with Mama & Papa Ogre)
Then you'll surely wind up dead
Me: (with Mama Ogre)
Good-bye!
Me: (with Papa Ogre)
Good-bye!
Me: (with Mama Ogre)
Watch out for men with pitch-forks!
Me: (with narrator) And so the little ogre went on his merry way and wherever he went crowds would welcome him with festive torches, hatchets—and fun things like that.
*Deploy ‘Happy Villagers’ with torches and pitchforks sneaking toward the ogre.*
Me: (with narrator) But whenever the little ogre tried to join in the fun—
*Shrek turned and scared the villagers, sending them screaming and flailing about.*
Me: (with narrator)…his new friends would suddenly realize they had other things to do.
*Little Shrek is replaced with Older Shrek*
Me: (with narrator) So, the ogre did what his parents had told him to: He found a perfectly rancid swamp and there he stayed for many years, all alone, but very happy with how his life turned out…
Sunny: Happy? How can anypony be happy living like that?
Tinny: Poor Shrek.
Red: (thoughts) Told to be all alone because the world despised you for being different. I understand completely how that feels.
Me: (with Shrek) I thought I told you to stay outside! (with Donkey) We are outside!
Posey: Wait…if they’re out there, then who’s…?
Me: (with first mouse) Well, gents, it’s a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we have? (with second mouse) It’s not home, but it’ll do just fine.
Pipp: Ew! Mice!
Posey: Mice?!
Me: The Three Blind Mice to be precise.
Izzy: Hey, that rhymed.
Me: (with third mouse) What a lovely bed. (with Shrek) GOT YA!
Me: (with third mouse) I found some cheese!
Hitch: (chuckling)
Izzy: (laughing)
Me: (with second mouse) Is that you, Gordon? (with Gordon) How did you know?
Me: (with Shrek) What are you doing in my house?
Sunny: Who are they?
Me: Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
Sprout: What happened to her?
Zipp: I think it was explained earlier.
Me: (with Shrek) Oh, no, no, no. Dead broad off the table!
Me: (with Doc) Where are we supposed to put her? The bed’s taken. (with Shrek) Huh?
Posey: Someone’s sleeping in his bed?
Me: (with Wolf) What?
Posey: A wolf wearing grandma clothes in bed?! Just what is this world coming to?!
Rocky: (Sheepish) I think he looks…kinda nice.
Me: (with Shrek) I live in a swamp, I put up signs, I’m a terrifying ogre! What do I have to do to get a little privacy?!
Posey: Loiters! All of them!
Tinny: That’s a rude mare!
Red: (thoughts) What does she know?
Me: (with Shrek) WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP?!!!!
Me: (with Shrek) All right, get out of here! All of you, move it! Come on! Let’s go! Hapaya! Hapaya! Hey!
Posey: (sighs) Princess, I expected better from you. You could have at least asked before shoving all those creatures onto his land without permission!
Me: (regarding Posey) I really don’t understand that mare. She confuses me.
Me: (laughs) Oh, that gets me every time.
Zipp: (likewise)
Me: (with Donkey) Hey, don’t look at me! I didn’t invite them.
Me: (with Pinocchio) …we were forced to come here. (with Shrek) Forced? By whom? (with Pig Two) Lord Farquaad! He hoofed und he poofed, und he…signed an eviction notice.
Me: Oh, yeah. We haven't really seen them since Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
At least I was laughing along with them.
Me: Heh.
Me: (laughing)
Izzy: I don’t get it.
Me: (with Shrek) ALRIGHT!!! Alright, I get it… who knows where this… ‘Farquaad’ guy is?
Me: (with Shrek) Does anyone else know where to find him?
Me: What’s this supposed to be? Fellowship of the Grumpy Ogre?
Sunny: I believe in them!
Me: Of course you do.
Izzy: HOORAY!! MORE FRIENDS!!
Me: I had a feeling these two’d be along for the ride. So long as they keep that one song from the Proclaimers.
Posey: You can’t be serious!
Me: (with Shrek) Okay… fine. Attention all… fairytale things! Do NOT get comfortable! Your welcome is officially worn out! In fact, I’m gonna go see this Farquaad guy right now, and get you all off my land and back where you came from!
Posey: Those…actually go decently with her fur color.
Me: (with Shrek, to Donkey) You! You’re comin’ with us!
Me: (with Donkey) All right, that’s what I like to hear, man! Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart friends, off on a whirlwind big-city adventure.
Izzy: Ooh! Can I hum along with them?
Me: (shrugs) Sure, why not?
Izzy: Yay!
Me: Okay: one, your mom gaslighted you, Raven? And two…Rainbow. You know it’s never a good thing when you say things like that.
Izzy: Yeah! It’s jinxie!
Sunny: Um…what’s gaslighting?
Me: Gaslighting is when a person psychologically and emotionally manipulates another person to the point where they are questioning reality, usually at the expense of the first person’s malicious intent.
Zipp: That’s horrible!
Me: It also counts as emotional abuse.
Hitch: So it’s illegal too!
Me: Bar none it is, sheriff. And…I’m just gonna put this out right now: Farquaad is one of my favorite villains.
Sunny: Why’s that?
Me: You’ll see.
I could’ve sworn I was imagining things, but for some reason I felt Misty’s pained thoughts spinning with not-so-good thoughts.
Well, here they go, up to see the "King"... here's hoping they don't get captured!
Excellent. Now they have to go and meet this lands ruler and see how bad he is. It’s also nice we got more background on Shrek from the musical
Discord’s Theater — Manager’s Office
Me: (Lying face down on the floor, with an empty whine gourd in hand) “Uhhhhhhhhh….”
*Knock knock*
Krystal: “Uh, excuse me? Mr. Phantom-Dragon? It’s me, Krystal. Your wife, Rain Shine, sent me to deliver your lunch box, and…” (Walks into the room) “Oh my goodness!” (To Mina and Discord) “How long has he been like that?”
Mina: “From when Silver Shill puts him on the sofa…about an hour.”
Discord: “Well, he’s not getting his paycheck. I can tell you.”
Mina: (To Discord) “You never paid us anything.”
Discord: (Smug grin) “Nope!”
Nevertheless, both Krystal and Mina checked up on me.
Mina: “Uh? Doc? Doc?”
Me: “Uhhhhhh…”
Krystal: (Focuses her telepathy) “Hmmm. Such conflicted thought patterns. He is…how do you say? Having an existential crisis? He’s very depressed.”
Discord: (To Krystal) “Or it could be the wine talking.”
Mina: (To Discord) “Or maybe he wouldn’t have to drink so much if you weren’t so cheap on security!”
Discord: (To Mina) “Excuse me? But I’m the Master of Chaos! Security and chaos don’t mix! Plus, security isn’t exactly in my resume.”
Krystal: (To both) “Can we please focus on the issue right now?” (To me) “Phantom, awaken!”
Me: (Wakes up) “Huh? Oh. What happened to me?”
Mina: (To me) “You passed out from over drinking. We warned you to take it easy on the drinks…”
Me: (A little drunk) “Oh. I’m sorry. I was one with the universe. I was meditating….”
Mina: “Meditating?”
Krystal: “On the floor?”
Discord: “With a gourd of wine in your hand?”
Mina: “…Uh, does this have to do with…the recent spat you had with Rain Shine?”
Me: (Drunk) “Oh no. I’ve ascended beyond nerves. Now I’m just contemplating my untimely doom and embarrassment, while possibly having an inter dimensional war, with Ponyville and all of Equestria as the battlefield, because of my poor leadership lacking the ability to communicate AND to keep my loved ones safe!” (Falls back down onto the floor again)
Mina: (Stroking my back) There, there, Doc. It’s going to be okay.”
Discord: “Yeah. So what if so many people hated you now? It’s not like I hired them to hate you because fired them. Though, I did told you to fire them into a volcano, instead of out."
Krystal & Mina: "DISCORD!"
Mina: (Sigh) "Looks like, we're just gonna have to help Silver run the show until, Doc pulls himself together.” (To Krystal) “C’mon, Krystal. Let’s go.”
Drunk soap opera aside.
The chapter is 4,830 words long. But the chapter's with lyrics, (Author's cut) has 5,879 words long.
I'm working on it.
Lol, this is gonna be an adventure of a life time XD, Pinkie is a barrel of laughs, I love it
Well that's two franchises for young girls that have been hit by attacks from darker forces now.
Also noticed that when you're someone from a more idealic world dropping into the beginning of the plot, Far Far Away does seem like kind of a heck hole initially. Now I can only wonder who's the first pony that will get the joke behind Farquad's name.
On another note, surprise there's no double takes with a wicked witches given how these adventures first started.
Meanwhile, back at Discord's Theater
Big Mac: "Eeyup."
Octavia Melody: "I wouldn't jinx it, if I were you."
Both Octavia Melody and DJ-Pon-3 both exchanged looks, having experienced something similar...once.
Octavia Melody: "Actually, she's in the ballpark with that."
DJ-Pon-3: "I don't know about talking to a volleyball for company, or even a pig's head...but me and Octavia did once got stranded on a deserted island. Good times."
Sweetie Belle: "That's terrible!"
Scootaloo: "I may have outgrown the fairy tales mom and dad used to read me to bed. But still, what's this guy's problem against these creatures? What did they do?"
Many fillies and colts in the audience all gasped in shock at the revelation.
Sweetie Belle: "No way!"
Diamond Tiara: "Join the club."
Scootaloo: "Hmmm. Why does that remind me of a similar movement?" (Eyes at Rumbles who simply shrugged for the stunt he pulled in Marks and Recreations)
Tempest Shadow: "Life's never a fairy tale..."
The Audience: *Gasps*
Big Mac: "Eeyup!"
Princess Skystar: "Deja vu. Like I've been there before..."
Tempest Shadow: (Looks down in shame)
Sunburst: "And I thought my sister had it rough..."
Big Mac: "Nope."
Mina: "So black obsidian..."
Sweetie Belle: "It's all the fairytale creatures! They're alright!"
Silver Spoon: (To Sweetie Belle) "Uh, not everyone. If you haven't paid attention, there're the three bears...except mama bear is missing."
Diamond Tiara: (To Silver Spoon) "What do you think happened to her?"
Discord's Cut
Among them are Juniper Montage and her new friend, Medusa.
Medusa: (Looks around the swamp) "Hmmmm. It'ssss green. And it'sss more livelier than where I'm from..."
Juniper Montage: (To Medusa) "If you don't mind my asking, but how exactly are you not turning anyone to stone?"
Medusa: (To Juniper Montage) "I have a third eyelid, like mosssst reptilesss. I can cover my eyessss, but I can sssstill sssssee everyone elsssse." (Sees Juniper looking a little freaked out) "I know. It weirded me out asss well..."
Juniper Montage: (Looks down in a puddle of water) "Wallflower would love this place. It's green, it's nature, and...she'd love it...if she were here."
Medusa couldn't help but look at Juniper and feel sorry for the girl.
Discord's Cut
Juniper Montage wasn't looking where she was going, when she stepped in something.
*Squish SFX*
Juniper Montage: "Ew! This stuff ain't coming out of my shoes! There'd better be a spell to clean shoes, or I'm charging Discord!"
Medusa: (Slithering close by) "I misssss having feet."
Big Mac: "Nope."
Capper Dapperpaws: "Whoa! Careful there, Pinoky! You'll poke somebody's eye out with that!"
Too late.
Discord's Cut
Juniper Montage didn't have time to duck, when Pinocchio's long nose swung and nearly knocked her glasses off.
Juniper Montage: (Gets poked) "AH! Hey!"
Sweetie Belle: (Giggles) "Oh, he's no ugly duckling. He's not even ugly, or a duckling at all! He's a cygnet! A baby swan."
Ember: (Groaning in exasperation) "Oh no. Not another song..." (Covers her ears)
Sonata Dusk: (Clapping her hooves) "Yay! Another song!" (Quickly hides her face, before she completely blows her cover)
Tender Taps: "Aw, that's sad..."
Sweetie Belle: "But at the end of his story, it was all worth it, because Pinocchio fulfills his dream and becomes a real boy. And both he and his dad, Geppetto lived happily ever after!"
Diamond Tiara: (To Sweetie Belle) "Or at least that was how the story goes, until Geppetto gave Pinocchio up..."
Sweetie Belle: "Oh! Right..."
Apple Bloom: "What kind of twisted Fairytale Reality is this?"
Scootaloo: "It's not like any stories we know on the pages."
Cheese Sandwich: "Next thing you know, there's a movie about two brothers who are tasked by the people to rescue some damsels-in-distress, who are all kidnapped by the Big Bad Wolf, who was working for the Evil Queen, who is locked away in a tower, like Rapunzel..."
Diamond Tiara: (To Cheese Sandwich) "You and Pinkie Pie make the perfect match for each other, y'know that?"
Discord's Cut
Juniper Montage: "It's no crucible..."
Babs Seed: "Even the Big Bad Wolf has it rough? Yeesh."
Cheese Sandwich: "I'm sure his friend, the snake, the shark, the spider, and the piranha can relate."
Fillies and Colts: "EXECUTED?!!"
Lil'Cheese: (Bawls his eyes out) 😭
Discord's Cut
Juniper Montage: "Then it's definitely a good thing me and Wallflower Blush managed to free most of you guys then."
Discord's Cut
During this time, Juniper realizes...
Juniper Montage: "Hey Medusa! You never told us your story. Like, how did you end up in the cage before me and Wallflower freed you?"
Medusa: "...Well, to keep it ssssimple. I was jussssst in my lair, with my friendssss...the sssstatuesss, when thesssse men lured me into their trapssss and captured me."
Juniper Montage: "Wow, really? A monster like you? Captured, just like that?"
Medusa: "...Jusssst becausssse I'm hideoussss, doessssn't make me invincccible, doessss it?" (Looks away) "Bessssidessss, I never assssked to be a monssssster to begin with..."
Discord's Cut
Juniper Montage: "Hey Medusa? You hungry? I have some candy here if you want some."
Medusa: (To Juniper Montage) "Candy? What issss candy?"
Juniper Montage: (Holds up a candy bar) "This is candy. Ever had one like this before?" (Medusa shakes her head) "Well, now's a good time than any to try it out." (Breaks a piece of the candy bar) "Here, have a taste!"
Medusa takes the candy piece, then looks to Juniper, who beckons her to try it out. Medusa pops the candy into her mouth and enjoys the piece.
Juniper Montage: "What do you think?"
Medusa: "It'ssss delicccioussss."
Juniper Montage: "It's chocolate." (Feels the ground shaking) "H-H-Hey, w-w-w-what's-s-s-s g-g-g-going o-o-o-o-on?"
Both Juniper and Medusa turned their heads to see what the commotion was, and their eyes widened.
Juniper Montage: "Oh! That's a lot of people!"
Meanwhile, with Wallflower Blush
The young Slytherin sorceress-in-training was locked up in a dungeon, with her wand taken, and her cellmate, a gingerbread man, or Gingy, as his friends call him...with both of his legs broken off.
Wallflower Blush: "Look at me...in a dungeon." (Shakes her head) "I've already been here for a few seconds, and already I'm a prisoner of a tyrannical ruler. Now I know how Sunset Shimmer must've felt."
Wallflower Blush's evil nightmare
derpicdn.net/img/view/2021/3/14/2571292.png
This has been Wallflower Blush's evil nightmare
Wallflower Blush: (Eyes widen in horror) "And there ain't no way I'm turning to the Dark Side... I have to get out of here!" (Struggles to find a way to break free from her prison)
Gingerbread "Gingy" Man: (To Wallflower Blush) "There is no way out. I should know, I've been in locked in here for days. They should just eat me, right now. Put me an end to my misery..."
Wallflower Blush: (To Gingy) "So why didn't they?"
Gingerbread "Gingy" Man: "Because I know where the other Fairytale creatures are! And they won't stop until I tell them where they are!"
Wallflower Blush: "What's this Farquuad's beef? I mean, what did you do to upset him so much?"
Gingerbread "Gingy" Man: "Nothing! We're just Fairytale creatures living our own lives. Y'know, living happily ever after? But then, this Farquuad jerk, he thinks his 'precious' kingdom isn't perfect enough, unless he gets rid of all of us Fairytale creatures!"
Wallflower Blush: "That explains all of your friends whom me and Juniper had freed from their cages and stuff...so, where does he send them off to? And are there still more of you hiding out there?"
Before Gingy could answer, the door to the dungeon burst open and walking in is a tall, dark hulking figure in dark clothing, wearing a mask...no, not Darth Vader...or any Sith Lords. The executioner, Thelonious.
Gingerbread "Gingy" Man: "Oh no...not again!"
Wallflower Blush: (Clasps Gingy in her hands) "You want him? You'll have to take him out of my cold, dead fingers!" (Gets picked up and hanging upside-down by the leg) "Can't we have dinner, before we skip to desserts?"
Everyone: (Cringing in disgust) "Blech!"
Diamond Tiara: "EW!"
Apple Bloom: "Uh...how creative..."
Sweetie Belle: "I don't know about you, but...I kinda want to give Donkey a hug."
Apple Bloom: "Make that two.
Scootaloo: "Me three.
Diamond Tiara: (On behalf of herself and every other kids) "So do we."
Random Dude: "YAY, FLASHBACKS!!!"
Discord: "Oh sure. Have a look at the ogre's biography. But nobody cared to learn about mine?"
Next>>
This eviction notice reminds me of the tragedy that is happening at the borders of Europe. I understand that Shrek, being him as he is, is not comfortable, but his lack of concern for others surprises me, in the movie he went to help as soon as they told him about the "eviction notice", (of course in this adventure he seems not to know that Lord Farquaad is a king). Well, at least he has understood that the problem here is Farquaad, and that if he wants the creatures from the stories not to stay in his swamp, our ogre will have to convince him to change his mind. Wasting no time, he marches towards Duloc Castle in the company of Donkey, The Mane 6, Spike, Apple and Raven. We hope they take advantage of the trip to get to know each other better; I hope Shrek gets to open up to them and tell them his story. And Rainbow... no, the truth is that Farquaad is not very scary, but this guy has an army with anti-magic weapons, so he better be careful.
Sorry Apple and White. From the looks of it, the Black Order doesn't seem to be limited to conquering Equestria. They are like an invading plague that seeks to conquer as many worlds as they can, get the resources and weapons from those worlds, become more powerful and thus travel to more worlds (like the Ghouls from "The Chronicles of Riddick"). As much as I love action, I hate these kinds of characters in a story.
<<Previous
Capper Dapperpaw: "Hmmmm. Someone's in the kitchen with the ogre then..."
Silver Spoon: "Wow are they blind."
Capper Dapperpaws: (Licks his lips) "Mmmmm. And they look tasty." (Sees the strange look from Sweetie Belle) "What? I'm a cat. I have to eat..."
Sweetie Belle: "Uh, that's not cheese..."
Sweetie Belle: "Ugh, that's gotta hurt..."
Big Mac: "Eeyup."
Button Mash: (To Sweetie Belle) "Who's the dead lady?"
Sweetie Belle: (To Button Mash) "I'm pretty sure that's Snow White..."
Audience: "What?"
Diamond Tiara: "I'll tell you what. Those are grandma's clothes you're wearing, you stupid dog!"
Starlight Glimmer: "SWEET CELESTIA! That's like a whole town!"
Trixie: "It's even bigger than the entirety of this theater room!"
Discord: (To Trixie) "Should I be insulted?"
Discord's Cut
Juniper Montage: (To the witches) "Hey, do any of you have a broom I can borrow?"
Sweetie Belle: "Aw, poor baby!"
Apple Bloom: "I know how he feels."
Discord's Cut
During the ruckus, Medusa was trying to make civil conversation with a few of the Fairytale Creatures, but they were all too frighten to even look at her, let alone talk to her. Even with her third eyelid closing over her eyes to prevent her from accidentally turning anyone to stone, it's clear that nobody wants to take a risk with a gorgon.
Moon Dancer: "Twilight. From where he's standing, I think it looks exactly what it is..."
Discord's Cut
And when Shrek wasn't looking, Juniper snuck behind to pick up the poor unfortunate fairy in her heands.
Juniper Montage: (To the fairy) "Are you okay?"
Diamond Tiara: "I don't know. But I don't care. As long as they're out of my life and out of my face, that's all that matters..."
Discord's Cut
Medusa: (Crossing her arms) "Hmph! And what am I? How do you ssssay? Chopped liverssss?"
Juniper Montage: (Patting her hand on Medusa's shoulder) "There, there, Maddie..."
The Audience: *Laughs out loud*
*Awkward Cricket SFX*
Discord: "Jiminy Cricket?"
Diamond Tiara: (To Sweetie Belle) "How long will it be until he's a real boy and not...knock on wood?"
Discord's Cut
Medusa: "And what am I? Chopped liver?"
Discord's Cut
Medusa: "That's what I said!"
Big Mac: "Eeyup!"
Discord: "Welcome to my freaky unappreciated world of entertainment, horsefly..."
Dragon Lord Ember: (Covers her ears from the singing) "I'm gonna be sick..."
Big Mac: "Yup."
Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Oy vey..."
Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Just pick a fellow donkey already!"
Sweetie Belle: "Yeah, Twilight!"
Flurry Heart: "GO AUNTIE TWILIGHT!!!"
Stygian: "Twilight Sparkle! Long live the princess!"
Audience: (Chanting) "Twilight Sparkle! Long live the princess! Twilight Sparkle! Long live the princess! Twilight Sparkle! Long live the princess!"
Discord's Cut
Juniper Montage: "Hey! Mind if I come along too? I have a friend who's been taken prisoner and I'd very much would like to have her back."
Medusa looks at Juniper with curiosity and fascination.
Rockhoof: "Well, whatever happens, you're a hero now, lad. So get used to it!"
Gilda: "She who laughs last, Dash, laughs best."
Ember: "Can we please have an adventure with no singing?"
Gabby: (To Ember) "With Spike and friends?"
Everyone: (To Ember) "No way!"
Ember: "AW maaaaaannn...."
Discord's Cut
Juniper Montage: "It's true! Love is a many splintered things."
Discord's Cut
Juniper Montage was just about to leave, when she was stopped by Medusa.
Medusa: "Are you cccertain you would want to do thissss? If thisss Farquuad issss asss bad asss they sssssay he isss, then you sssshouldn't be risssking it."
Juniper Montage: "Maybe. But Wallflower Blush is in trouble. I've seen her in action and if it was the other way around, I know she's as crazy to risk her own life to save mine."
Medusa: "If you inssssissst...."
Juniper Montage: "Anyway, Maddie. You take care of yourself, okay? And don't turn anyone into stone."
Medusa: "And another thing. Why do you call me, Maddie?"
Juniper Montage: "Oh, that's just affectionate nickname I give to some of my friends! I call Wallflower, Wally, and she and some others call me, June, sometimes." (Looks at Medusa with concerns) "What's the matter? You don't like it?"
Medusa "Maddie": "No...I mean...I like it. It'sss...I've never had friendsss before...friendssss who aren't sssstatuessss, that isss."
Juniper Montage: "Anyway, take care, Maddie! Me and Wallflower will see you soon!" (Takes her leave, following Shrek and the others)
Medusa was about to slither back, when she had a second thought.
Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Well at least that'll keep them amused for my comfort..."
Steven Magnet: "Oh, Cranky. When will you lighten up, dude?"
Thorax: "Are you saying being kicked out by your parents isn't the worst day of your life?"
Big Mac: "Eeyup."
Big Mac: "Eeyup."
Big Mac: "Nope."
Crazy Steve: "WELL SHE'S SICK! YOU GOT A SICK MAMA!!!"
Discord: (Squints his eyes) "Do you really want to know?"
11471381
11471440
11471456
11471460
11471790
<<Previous
Canterlot Mall Theater, Discord's Branch
Arctic: You gotta admit, despite where they’re currently sleeping it is a nice night
Rarity: I suppose..it is a nice night (she admits and then looks away slightly) Still, it would be better to sleep on a bed
The group minus Pinkie was quite from this part as they try to process what happen
Arctic: Ok..I know it’s Pinkie and all. But, wow don’t know how to react to that (he mentioned)
Applejack: Eeyup, agree with you there partner (she said towards Ace)
Fluttershy: Poor things (she said sadly)
Sci-Twi: This ruler is an awful person. Getting rid of fairytale creatures just because they’re different
Rainbow: Yeah, I’m curious to (she said)
Sci-Twi: I also wanna know, it be interesting to know more about their history
Arctic: Sadly, that’s true in most cases. Not all of them have happy ending
The Equestrian Girls and Ace gasp in shock and horror listing to what Raven and Apple said
Fluttershy: H-How Awful! (The shy girl said having tears in her eye as she hugs Pinkie who was also in a bit of tears
Sci-Twi: Not even children were safe (she said in disbelief)
Arctic: (gripping his fist in anger) Whoever did this, whoever order that attack are real monsters (he said with anger in his voice)
They all stood quiet for a few moments to settle and calm themselves as they start to look back at the screen again
Pinkie: Aw~ they’re helping them out that’s so nice
Fluttershy: I hope Shrek doesn’t mind
Rainbow: Something tells me he won’t be so happy with this Flutters (she said looking towards her)
[
Sci-Twi: That was a bit forward
Arctic: Well, she isn’t exactly wrong about it
either
Pinkie:(giggles a little bit) that is a little bit funny
Arctic: (chuckles a bit) Yeah, gotta admit it is a little funny when he tries to lie
Pinkie: I sense another song coming
Fluttershy:Poor little thing (she said sadly)
Pinkie: They, really have it rough (she said a bit sad)
Rarity: I agree Pinkie. No one, should be force out of their home like this
Applejack: This ruler needs some sense knock into him and need a good talking to
Rainbow: Man, how could things get worst for them (she ask)
Arctic: That…that is how it could get worst (he said and he sees sees Fluttershy holding onto his arm a bit tightly)
Fluttershy: I-I don’t want to see that (she said softly feeling a bit scared)
Arctic:(he held onto her a bit) it’s ok Fluttershy, as long as the princess and her friends are there. It won’t happen (he said to Fluttershy)
Sci-Twi: Well, that was quite the musical number. (She said)
Pinkie: Yeah, but still I feel really REALLY bad for them.
Arctic: Yeah, same here Pinkie (he said as the others nod in agreement)
Rainbow: Yeah, he is DEFINITELY not gonna like what he sees outside (she said)
Sci-Twi: I’m surprised he didn’t hear that big musical number outside
Rainbow: How is that even possible? (She ask questioning this)
Pinkie: Oooo~! Flashback! And it’s another musical number!
The group was shock and sadded hearing this backstory and how Shrek was all alone for so long because of how he look
Sci-Twi: oh no..I think his going find out (she said worried)
Fluttershy: Maybe he won’t be to mad? (She said hope
Fluttershy: E-Eep! (She said hiding her face in Rainbow shoulder)
Pinkie: His mad..really REALLY mad
Arctic: Definitely a understatement there Pinkie (he said to the party girl)
Applejack: Well, they’re right it wasn’t really them he brought them
Rarity: They were only trying to do the right thing. (She said)
Sci-Twi: Maybe, while it was nice of them to help.. it is still Shrek home
Sorry about that folks, was a little preoccupied. Will let you know when it's done.
11471351
11471362
11471517
11471480
11471460
11471824
Discord's Theatre, Galaxy Branch
Postwar: You know, if it weren't for the fact that they were in a swamp, I'd say the stars look nice at that time of night.
Luke Skywalker: At least they were lucky, when I was training with Yoda, we didn't see any stars. It was too murky.
Han Solo: Chewie and I also had a hard time on certain worlds we went to. *Chewbacca growled in agreement*
Sunset Shimmer: Weird's an understatement.
Postwar: Got that right. And pff, what are you complaining about, tons of folks aren't happy to sleep in a bed. They had to roughen it a bit.
Sunset Shimmer: I know right, when I got to Canterlot High, I had to sleep on uncomfortable books for a long time.
Leia Organa: Same goes for the Rebellion.
Cal Kestis: Try sleeping in the ship with an uncomfortable makeshift bed.
Lando Calrissian: It's not as worse as the Empire trying to hunt you 24/7.
*Luke, Leia, Han and Chewbacca voice in agreement.*
Postwar: Wait...I know those troops.
Sunset Shimmer: You do?
Postwar: And I think you and your friends know them too from a long time ago.
Sunset pondered about this for a moment, but then blinked in shock as she looked at the screen:
Sunset Shimmer: No. It...it couldn't be...
Sunset Shimmer: Alright!! she helped them escape!!
Leia Organa: Those two are resourceful I'll give them that much.
Han Solo: When you're out there, all you can do is try to adapt and be resourceful.
Postwar: Which is another term for concentration camp.
Lando Calrissian: A what?
Postwar: *hands them files* See for yourself.
As they read through them, they were shocked by what they saw.
Postwar: Aaaaaand, here comes the song.
All (except Sunset): Song?
Sunset Shimmer: Just wait and see.
Galen Marek: Is this how it's always in Princess Twilight's world?
Sunset Shimmer: You get used to it.
Postwar: Be glad you guys don't have something like that in your universe.
Everyone, minus Sunset and Postwar, began to shutter at that.
Galen Marek: Finally, the song is over!!
Sunset Shimmer: I don't know, I thought it was pretty catchy.
Postwar: Yeah, me too.
Ahsoka Tano: Although now I feel bad for those lot.
Postwar: To quote an old saying; what's done is done, and there's nothing you can do about it.
Postwar: Or to quote what all of you, minus Sunset said in the room, "I got a baaaaad feeling about this!!"
All (except Sunset): We don't say it all the time.
Sunset Shimmer: No, you guys pretty much do. *Chewbacca voices in agreement*
Galen Marek: Oh no!! another song?!! *gets smacked by Ben Solo*
Ben Solo: Just bear with it ya stink Gundark!!
Leia Organa: Wow, he's been through a lot.
Postwar: As I said...I know that feeling better than most.
Sunset held his hand for support, with Leia doing the same, feeling sorry for him.
Sunset Shimmer: Huh, the mice from one of the Fairy Tale stories, Three Blind Mice.
Postwar: Been a while since I heard the story.
Lando Calrissian: Oh, don't worry big guy.
Cal Kestis: You're going to find out soon enough.
Ahsoka Tano: That's for sure.
Postwar: Snow White and the Seven Dwarves?
Sunset Shimmer: You know that story too?
Postwar: I do, but only from the Disney Universe.
Sunset & Postwar: *deadpanned expression* The big bad wolf? Really?
Luke Skywalker: From the looks of it, you guys really don't like him?
Sunset & Postwar: He's a wolf who dresses like an old lady to eat a little girl, what's not to not like about him?
Sunset Shimmer: Hey, I'd go stir crazy too if someone were to literally live outside my apartment door.
Postwar: I'm with you there, sister. *Fist bumps with Sunset*
Leia Organa: Wow, he really doesn't like company.
Postwar: Trust me, I've been on the receiving end since I was in preschool. And speak for every bullied kid out there, it's no picnic, nor trying to be strong during darkest times.
Postwar: Someone's in denail. At least he wasn't like that other Pinocchio guy I encountered.
Sunset Shimmer: I'm sure he wasn't that bad.
Postwar: Believe me, he is.
Ahsoka Tano: How bad are we talking?
Postwar: He thinks that the only way for him to become a real boy, is to devour the flesh of a real boy.
Everybody looked at him with shocked expressions.
Lando Calrissian: Okay, now that's twisted.
Postwar: You better believe it, buster.
Galen Marek: COULD SOMEONE PICK THE ANNOYING MULE ALREADY!!*gets smacked by a pan and knocked him unconcious, revealing to be Ben*
Ben Solo: It's alright. I have distracted him.
Han Solo: Glad to see they haven't lost their nerve when helping others.
Postwar: Unless you count Mt. Aris. *gets elbowed by Sunset*
Leia Organa: What happened there?
Sunset Shimmer: *sheepishly smiles*Uh, you don't wanna know.
Postwar: Nothing wrong with a little humming.
Sunset Shimmer: If I want to hear humming, I'd rather it be from Pinkie Pie.
Postwar: You should consider visiting them more often.
Sunset Shimmer: I'll...see what I can do.
Postwar: Let's just say...he has a very "short", view in life.
Han Solo: What do you mean?
Postwar: Oh, you'll see.
11471440
11471456
11471517
11471843
11471965
11472444
Me: Stars are really lovely at night.
Sonata: Makes me want to go stargazing.
Me: How bout we do so tonight after the adventure?
Sonata: For realsies~?
Me: *nods*
Sonata: *squee*
Me: Don't jinx it AJ!
Me: Lord of the Flies reference.
Sonata: You know that?
Me: Yep, read it in my high school social studies class.
Me: Same ol Pinkie~
Me: Just like the Nazis...
Sonata: You mean those mean monsters who killed millions of good people for who they were?!
Me: The very same...
Me: Snow White, of course. *looks at my fairytale book*
Sonata: *looks with me*
Sonata: How interesting.
“
Sonata: What?...
Sonata: *breaks into tears upon hearing this*
Me: *comfort her*
Me: *feels sorry for the two girls*
Me: Here comes the fairytale gang.
Sonata: *in awe*
Sonata: Nazis?
Me: Nazis.
Me: Song time~!
Sonata Dusk: (Clapping her hooves) "Yay! Another song!" (Quickly hides her face, before she completely blows her cover)
Sonata: *gasps at the thought of being executed*
Me: Still a fun song.
Sonata: Bad news?...
Me: You'll soon see.
Sonata: Eww...
Me: That's an ogre for ya.
Sonata: That's... something I guess.
Me: Flashback~
Sonata: Not bad.
Me: I know right?
End of flashback…
Sonata: Dawww, they look so cute~
Me: The dwarves with cursed Snow White, from this universe of course.
Sonata: Taken?
Sonata: *snorts a little in amusement*
Me: Poor Baby Bear...
Me: Don't know, don't care. How's that?
Me: *shakes head*
Me: Very true.
Sonata: *giggles at this*
Me: Oi vey...
Me: Well how about we find out?
Behind the Scenes: Animation
Shrek was originally set up to be a live-action/CG animation hybrid with background plate miniature sets and the main characters composited into the scene as motion-captured computer graphics, using an ExpertVision Hires Falcon 10 camera system to capture and apply realistic human movement to the characters. A sizable crew was hired to run a test, and after a year and a half of R&D, the test was finally screened in May 1997.
The results were not satisfactory, with Katzenberg stating "It looked terrible, it didn't work, it wasn't funny, and we didn't like it."
The studio then turned to its production partners at Pacific Data Images (PDI), who began production with the studio in 1998 and helped the film get to its final, computer-animated look. At this time, Antz was still in production at the studio and effects supervisor Ken Bielenberg was asked by Aron Warner "to start development for Shrek".
Similar to their previous films, PDI used its own proprietary software (like the Fluid Animation System) for its animated movies. For some elements, however, it also took advantage of some of the powerhouse animation software on the market. This is particularly true with Maya, which PDI used for most of its dynamic cloth animation and for the hair of Fiona and Farquaad.
One of the most difficult parts of creating the film was making Donkey's fur flow smoothly so that it did not look like that of a Chia Pet[. This fell into the hands of the surfacing animators, who used flow controls within a complex shader to provide the fur with many attributes (ability to change directions, lie flat, swirl, etc.).
It was then the job of the visual effects group, led by Bielenberg, to make the fur react to environment conditions. Once the technology was mastered, it could be applied to many aspects of the movie, including grass, moss, beards, eyebrows, and even threads on Shrek's tunic. Making human hair realistic was different from Donkey's fur, requiring a separate rendering system and much attention from the lighting and visual effects teams.
Shrek has 31 sequences, with 1,288 shots in total. Aron Warner said that the creators "envisioned a magical environment that you could immerse yourself into". Shrek includes 36 separate in-film locations to make the world of the film, which DreamWorks claimed was more than any previous computer-animated feature. In-film locations were finalized and, as demonstrated by past DreamWorks animated movies, color and mood was of the utmost importance.
The animation was completed in 2000.
The unicorn licked the tray clean of leftover cheese, watching the final parts of the chapter. "'Reverse psychology.' Guess they're not going to do Jumanji anytime soon. I have never once seen Ever After High. Maybe sis did. They did a good job using bits from the musical. I'm in for a treat. Speaking of which. I need more nachos and popcorn." He then gets up to get the large popcorn and nachos. He must have a blackhole stomach.