Princess Fiona
Confusion and worry ran rampant through the minds of Apple White and Raven Queen, as the two teens stared toward the restrained forms of their friends, whom they assumed were all dead. After the events of the Red Thronecoming, they never thought any of their friends actually survived as the two were on the run from all those knights. And yet, here they were, chained up to four posts right before their very eyes surrounded by Lannister Knights and the Black Knights. Venrys Baratheon walked past the girls and into the very room till he stood beside Lord Tirek.
“What’s the matter ladies?” Tirek asked mockingly. “Lost for words? No witty remarks? Aw… what a shame.”
“H-H-How?” Apple stumbled breathlessly.
“Well, I’m glad you asked,” Venrys chuckled. “You see, it was very tempting to kill them all, as we had with all their other friends. However, once I found out what you’ve taken, it became necessary to keep them alive as… leverage.”
Both Raven and Apple looked at each other, having no idea what the man was talking about.
“What do you mean ‘what we took’?” Raven asked. “We’ve taken nothing from any of you; we never did anything to you. You… attacked… us!”
Off to the side, the Mane Six and Spike struggled to free themselves of the iron net holding them down with boulders. However, without their abilities, this proved rather difficult.
“How are we getting out of this?” Rainbow questioned urgently.
“If I could, I’d use my dragon fire to melt a hole right through this stuff,” Spike groaned.
“Without my magic, I can’t do anything for us… or them,” Twilight gestured to Apple and Raven.
“Nor can I,” Rarity added.
“Daggumit!” Applejack groaned.
Applejack gave an exceptionally hard kick in frustration at one of the boulders, which in turn chipped off a huge chunk of rock. She stared at the rock for a moment when an idea came to her head.
“Hey y’all, looks like this boulders mighta cracked some when they hit the ground,” She whispered to the group. “We kick ‘em hard enough, we might just break ‘em.”
“Ooh… that might just work!” Pinkie smiled. “Back on the rock farm, I used to help Maud break boulders all the time. Of course, Maud was the stronger one. She did most of the breaking while I loaded them on the carts.”
“But what if I chip a hoof?” Rarity complained.
“Seriously Rarity!” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Just once… just this once… forget your vanity!”
“You sure this will work?” Fluttershy asked.
“Only one way tah find out,” Applejack replied.
The Mane Six and Spike proceeded to buck away at the boulders, trying to break them apart. While this went on, Apple White and Raven Queen were still dealing with Venrys.
“Don’t you remember?” Venrys asked. “While you two snuck away from my knights, rather cowardly mind you, you managed to pick something off one of them. Something rather important they were bringing to me.”
Venrys drew a very sharp dagger from a holster at his side and approached a restrained Ashlynn Ella, grabbing a handful of her hair. The girl gasped in pain as Venrys positioned the knife along her throat.
“No!” Apple cried. “Please don’t hurt her. Whatever you think we took from you, I’m truly fairy sorry. If I knew what it was, we’d give it back to you. I swear!”
Tirek then turned toward Raven.
“Perhaps… you should tell her that,” Tirek grinned.
Apple turned toward Raven, a hint of confusion on her face.
“Raven, what is he talking about?”
But Raven gave no response. She just eyed Venrys with a death glare, as he held the blade to Ashlynn’s throat. Raven wanted so much to use her magic to crush him like a bug, but she swore to herself long ago that she would never allow herself to go dark again. Instead, she reached around her dress before pulling something out of one of her pockets… which happened to be a golden key.
Raven held the key out and Venrys laughed as he dropped the dagger from Ashlynn’s throat. He strode over and snatched the key from Raven’s grasp.
“Now was that so hard?” Venrys chuckled.
“Goes with your black heart!” Raven growled.
“Sticks and stones, sweetheart. Boys… kill them all.”
“No!” Raven yelled. “I won’t let you…”
She never got the chance to finish her sentence as a knight shot a crossbow bolt straight into her abdomen. She fell back onto the floor, screaming in pain.
“RAVEN!!!” Apple White screamed.
She quickly raced to the dark princesses’ side and held her in her arms as the Lannisters and Black Knights drew their blades and advanced upon them and their friends. All of a sudden, a few were hurled back by a few blasts of magic. Tirek and Venrys looked over to see the Mane Six and Spike freed from their net, ready to fight.
“Back away from them now!” Twilight ordered angrily. “You may have more men than we do, but we have one thing that always prevails in the end: the power of friendship!”
“Aww yeah, time to bust the baddies!” Rainbow smirked, cracking her hooves.
And just like that, all hell broke loose. The Mane Six and Spike jumped in and started battling with the Lannister and Black Knights. Rarity blasted a few of them back against the wall with a powerful brush of her magic.
“You ruffians are truly barbaric!” She yelled.
Rainbow Dash flew at top speed around the room as she delivered a series of lightning kicks and punches to every knight in her path.
“I’ll pound you jerks so hard; it’ll make your grandkids dizzy!” She yelled between hits.
A few knight swung swords toward Applejack, but she expertly dodged and delivered a series of hard bucks that dented their armor so hard she swore she could hear ribs crack. Spike held off a few guards as he dodged crossbow bolts or burned them with his dragon fire in mid-air.
Meanwhile, Fluttershy snuck through all the action toward the girls tied to their posts. She proceeded to use her teeth to pull their restraints to free them.
“W-W-Who are y-you?” Briar croaked weakly.
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to hurt you,” Fluttershy assured her. “My name is Fluttershy; I’m here to save you.”
“Flutters, incoming!” Rainbow yelled.
Fluttershy turned just in time to spot a sword swinging at her and she managed to duck just in time. Soon as she got up, her face was no longer filled with worry. But rather, it was filled with an emotion she rarely felt… anger.
“How dare you… how DARE you threaten innocent teenagers?!” She yelled angrily. “You make me so angry! And you know what you deserve? I’m giving you… the stare!”
She proceeded to stare straight into the knight’s eyes, her ‘stare’ so powerful it bore right into his soul. The guard found himself frozen in fear before he screamed out and fell to the floor in a fetal position.
“Mom… mommy… please… please, don’t send me away!” The guard cried. “I want to stay on the farm; please don’t let them take me! I don’t want to go! Don’t let them take me! Please mom, PLEASE!!!”
Once the knight was done, Fluttershy continued her work freeing the others and before long, they were all free. That said, however, the girls were extremely weak and yet they managed to make their way toward Apple and Raven.
“Raven…” Briar spoke worriedly. “Is she alright?”
“I’m not sure,” Apple responded. “I was able to remove the bolt, but she’s still bleeding.”
“We need to apply pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding,” Ashlynn instructed urgently.
Ashlynn tore a piece of her skirt and placed it over the wound, doing her best to apply pressure to the wound. Meanwhile, Tirek stood alongside Venrys as together they watched the carnage unfold before them.
“I think it’s time we get our hands dirty,” Tirek suggested. “I’ve been itching for another shot at those pitiful ponies for a long time now.”
“And you do just that,” Venrys responded. “I’ve other matters to attend to.”
“What’re you talking about?” Tirek asked, confused.
“My Queens instructed me to recover the key and report to them my findings,” Venrys told him. “As far as I’m concerned, my job is over. I leave the heavy lifting to the expendable… or in this case, a big dumb brute who’s no more than a shell of his former self.”
With one last laugh, Venrys bolted from the room much to the chagrin and outrage of Lord Tirek.
“You… COWARD!!!” Tirek yelled after him.
Just then, Tirek was blasted smack-dab into a wall. The moment he got up, he stared angrily toward Twilight Sparkle, whose horn glowed brightly with her magic.
“Seems your new companion left you on clean up duty, Tirek,” Twilight mocked.
“Works for me!” Tirek growled. “Because now, after all these years, I’m going to do to you ponies exactly what I should’ve done in the first place!”
“Corrupting our forms with the power of the Rainbow of Darkness, transform us into Stratodons, and force us to pull your chariot as you fly over Equestria?” Pinkie Pie guessed.
“What… no!” Tirek shook his head. “I’ll burn your entire manes to ashes, then smash your faces with an iron fist!”
“Oh my…” Fluttershy gasped.
“No, not like that! Urgh… I’ll shove a nail right through your feet, then slit your horns off with an axe! But first, when I wipe the floor with you, Twilight Sparkle, and all your friends are gone, I’m going to pluck off every one of your little feathers… one at a time!”
He proceeded to charge his own magic and fired a blast toward Twilight, who proceeded to send a blast of her own toward him. Their magic collided and fought for dominance, as chaos continued all around them. All of a sudden, a strong wind swept through the chamber and snuffed out every single torch in the room. The entire area was blanketed in darkness as a cloud formed, sending a cold chill through everyone in the room. For whatever was causing this, it certainly wasn’t anything good.
At the entrance of the chamber, a bright light shined upon everyone as they turned to look. From the light emerged a shadowy figure, with a long handlebar mustache, a trench coat, and top hat. The figure itself, Uncle Howdy by name, stood staring toward the frozen faces of all the shocked individuals, heroes and villains. He then brought one hand up, gave one simple tip of the hat, and the whole room filled with smoke.
“What trickery is this?” Tirek questioned. “If this is some kind of… joke… it’s—it’s not…”
Tirek found his sentences muddled as his head started to spin and his vision grew foggy. Eventually, he fell to the ground passed out. Not long after, all the other knights in the room followed suit, slipping into unconsciousness one-by-one. The only ones still conscious were the Equestrians and the Ever After group. They stared wide-eyed as the shadowy figure stood over them.
“Who killed the world?” Uncle Howdy asked cryptically.
He slowly turned his head until his gaze landed right toward Madeline Hatter.
“Why, you did…”
Uncle Howdy burst out into insane laughter as the light faded to black. Soon, all the torches lit up once more and the man in the shadows was no more. Tirek, along with all the knights, remained unconscious as the others slowly turned toward each other.
“What just happened?” Spike asked, confused.
<>
“Man, I should’ve worn my cup…”
Shrek groaned as he slowly picked himself off the floor, brushing debris off himself. His back was toward Princess Fiona, who laid upright on the bed near the window. Though a bit startled, she was ecstatic to see her knight in shining armor. She straightened her dress, laid back down, and then quickly reached over for a bouquet of flowers off the side table. She laid back down, pretending to be asleep, as she clutched the bouquet to her breast. Eventually, Shrek turned and took note of the princess lying on the bed, her eyes closed
“Aw great, I got one of the snoozers…” He thought.
Shrek walked across the room over to her, approaching the bed with the visor lowered. He bent down over Fiona, who puckered her lips slightly. Shrek bent over her… took her by the shoulders… and forcefully shook her.
“Wake up!” He said forcibly.
“Uh—uh—uh! WHAT?!” Fiona asked, irritated.
“Are you Princess Fiona?”
“I am,” Fiona nodded with a smile. “Awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me.”
“Ah, that’s nice,” Shrek said sarcastically. “Now let’s go!”
Shrek turned to leave when Fiona quickly sat upright.
“But wait, Sir Knight!” She called out. “I have long awaited this day! This be-ith our first meeting. Should it not be a wonderful, romantic moment?”
She tossed the bouquet and laid back down, swooning dramatically with flourish.
“Yeah, sorry, lady,” Shrek responded. “There’s no time. So where’s the door?”
“Oh, the door won’t work,” Fiona pointed out. “It’s locked from the outside.”
“Then how do we get out of here?”
“Why, the same way you got up?”
“The same way I--?!” Shrek gasped, groaning. “Oh, come on! I just--! Aw geez, I’m like a crackpot magnet. Alright then, let me think.”
But as if Shrek didn’t have enough on his plate, Princess Fiona proceeded to break out in song.
Fiona (Sings):
This is how a dream comes true.
This is how I pictured you—
Climbing in to rescue me.
This was always meant to be.
“Oh, that’s lovely,” Shrek replied, heading for the door. “Now let’s go.”
But Shrek didn’t get very far when Fiona pulled him back into the ‘spotlight’.
Fiona (Sings):
This is how the scene must go
You standing…
(Moves him an inch to the right)
… There—the light, just so.
Then you smile and gaze at me,
Take my hand on bended knee.
(Beat—repeats)
… Bended knee.
(Grits teeth)
… Bended knee.
(Pushes him down, she’s strong)
“Ow!” Shrek groaned.
“Sorry,” Fiona smiled sharply.
Fiona (Sings):
And though we’ve only met, somehow I always knew
It would look like this when dreams come true!
“SHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!” A voice shouted.
“And… that’s our cue to leave,” Shrek declared.
Shrek walked back, yanking Fiona’s arm, and hauled her toward the door.
“Hey, wait. What are you doing?!” She asked confused. “You know, you should sweep me off my feet out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed.”
But Shrek was barely paying attention. He yanked hard on the door handle, only for it to snap off. Just as Fiona said, it seemed the door was stuck in place. And yet, this hadn’t stopped him yet.
“You’ve had a lot of time to plan this, haven’t you?” He asked her.
“Mm-hmm,” Fiona nodded.
Fiona screamed as Shrek suddenly smashed the barred door down with his shoulder, while still holding onto her arm. He rushed down the tower’s staircase with Fiona in tow, grabbing a torch along the way. Leading her out of the tower, and they race through the Dragon’s keep.
“But we have to savor this moment!” Fiona complained mid-run. “You could recite an epic poem for me.”
At some point, Shrek and Fiona crossed the bridge connecting the tallest tower with the rest of the castle.
“A ballad? A sonnet! A limerick? Or something!”
Fiona pulled her arm from Shrek’s grip. They stop for a moment for Shrek to figure out which direction to go.
“I don’t think so,” Shrek shook his head.
“Well, can I at least know the name of my champion?” Fiona asked.
“Uh, Shrek.”
“Sir Shrek,” Fiona nodded.
With a smile and her throat cleared, Princess Fiona held out a handkerchief of her possession.
“I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude.”
“Thanks,” Shrek responded awkwardly.
Shrek regarded the handkerchief curiously and proceeded to wipe off his sooty face with it, then along his neck, and even his armpits. He proceeded to hand it back to Fiona, who was appalled to see that it was nearly blackened with soot.
“SHREK!!!”
They both turned just as the Mane Six, along with Spike and the Ever After group ran towards them. Cerise and Maddie helped Raven along, while trying to apply pressure to her bleeding wound.
“What happened to all of you?” Shrek asked curiously.
“We were ambushed by Tirek and his cronies,” Spike responded.
“But luckily, we put on a cloud-busting whoopin’ on ‘em!” Rainbow bragged.
Shrek looked past them and took notice of the new additions to their little posse, which made his eyes roll.
“Oh great, more company,” He sighed.
“Turns out Tirek’s been keeping Apple and Raven’s friends hostage,” Rarity explained.
Twilight Sparkle turned nad that was when she finally noticed Princess Fiona.
“Hello, you must be Princess Fiona,” Twilight held out her hoof. “I’m Twilight Sparkle, princess of Equestria, and these are my friends. We’re here to rescue you.”
Fiona just stared at the purple pony princess for a moment as well as the rest of the buzzard assembly of characters.
“You can talk?” Fiona asked bewildered. “And did you call yourself… a princess?”
“Yeah, kind of a long story.”
“And we don’t have time right now,” Shrek groaned, impatiently. “We need to leave now.”
“Now hold on a minute!” Fiona called out.
Fiona (Sings):
Brave sir knight, slow down a bit.
Shut-in girls are delicate.
I’ve longed for this my whole life long.
Now you’re doing it all wrong!
“Really?” Rainbow raised a brow.
Fiona (Sings):
‘Down a rope a steed awaits,’
That’s what every story states.
‘Riding over rough terrain,
Past the Dragon you have slain.’
(Off his look)
‘… you have slain.’
“Uh oh…” Spike whispered, huddling back.
Fiona (Sings):
… you have slain?
“Yeah, funny story about that…” Pinkie chuckled nervously. “You’re going to laugh when I tell you. You see, we only just arrived at the castle, and we saw just how spooky the interior was. So, we split up to find you. Us girls and Spike in one direction, Shrek in the other, and—wait a minute!”
Pinkie paused for a moment, then quickly looked left and right over the group. She proceeded to count heads with her hoof rapidly, whispering to herself.
“Guys, don’t be alarmed… but I think we’re missing some pony,” Pinkie stated.
All of a sudden, they were all startled by the dragon’s roar.
“You didn’t slay the dragon?!” Fiona exclaimed worriedly.
“It’s on my to-do list, now come on!” Shrek responded.
Shrek grabbed Fiona once again and took off running towards the direction of the dragon’s roar. The Equestrians and the Ever After group followed closely behind, or as best they could while trying to help an injured Raven.
“But this isn’t right!” Fiona complained. “You were meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying. That’s what all the other knights did!”
“Yeah, right before they burst into flames!” Shrek pointed out.
He gestured at the skeleton of a knight laying against the wall, a charred outline of a man burned into the stone behind it.
“That’s not the point!” Fiona argued. “Ugh!”
Fiona pulled her arm free from Shrek and stopped running. The rest of the group skid to a halt alongside them. Cerise and Maddie finally laid Raven down for a better chance at helping her. Twilight approached to examine the poor girl.
“How’s she doing?” Twilight asked.
“Not so good,” Cerise responded. “We’ve stopped the bleeding by a little, but she needs medical attention.”
“Or the mooncalf will never sing beneath the pale moonlight again,” Maddie added.
Twilight looked back toward the rest of the group, confused with the young girl’s riddle.
“She needs help soon or she’ll die,” Briar explained.
While the girls determined what to do, Spike looked around the area before he noticed a bubbling pot next to a large cookbook. He took a curious whiff in the air and was intrigued by the smell.
“Hmm… something’s cooking!” Spike noted, grabbing a ladle. “I wonder what they’ve been feeding the princess anyway.”
Spike proceeded to dip the ladle for a careful spoonful of the broth. But as he slowly lifted the ladle, something burst on top of the brew… which turned out to be a boiled skull with empty eye sockets, along with various remains floating up. Spike added the torn limbs and skulls with horror, before letting the ladle sink into the boiling brew.
“This creature seriously needs a new hobby,” Spike shuddered, backing away.
Meanwhile, Princess Fiona walked toward the group and looked at the injured girl.
“I might be able to help you,” She suggested. “I’m no doctor, but I can at least clean the wound and stitch it up.”
“Oh will you please?!” Apple practically begged.
Fiona merely nodded as she knelt down alongside the group and proceeded to help patch Raven’s wound. While doing this, Shrek paused to look around and made for a set of wooden doors.
“Wait—where are you going?” Fiona asked over her shoulder. “The exit’s over there!”
Shrek turned around as she pointed her arm to her left.
“Well, I have to save my ass,” Shrek replied.
“Nice way of putting it there, Shrek,” Rainbow said with an eye roll.
“What kind of knight are you?” Fiona asked appalled.
“One of a kind,” Shrek answered.
Shrek silently pushed the doors open, emerging onto a balcony of a large spacious room. In the very center of it all, the Dragon itself had Donkey wrapped up within her tail. The Dragon sat upon a floor littered with a horde of gold coins and jewels. Donkey, meanwhile, tried very hard to talk his way out of the mess he got himself into.
“Slow down, slow down, baby, please,” Donkey rambled. “Look, I believe it’s healthy to get to know someone over a long period of time. Just, just call me old-fashioned. I don’t want to rush into a… a physical relationship. I’m not… not emotionally ready for a commitment of, uh, this, uh – ‘magnitude’ really is the word I’m looking for. Magnitude…”
But the Dragon was under a spell of her own: a love spell. Gently, she caressed Donkey with a single claw.
“Hey, that is unwanted physical contact,” Donkey argued. “Hey, what are you doing?”
Dragon lifted her head toward the chandelier hanging above them. Gently, she lit the candles with her fire breath setting the mood. She was blissfully unaware of an armored green intruder sneaking his way through the room, trying to determine how he was getting Donkey out of there.
“Okay, okay, let’s just back up a little and take this one step at a time,” Donkey continued. “I mean we really should get to know each other first, you know, as friends or maybe even pen pals. Y’know cause I’m on the road a lot, but I just love receiving cards to read—”
Shrek, finding a solution, leapt over the balcony, and grabbed for the chain connected to the chandelier. Unfortunately, the chain wasn’t low enough for him to grab Donkey. He swung over the dragon, then back, and until he was left dangling above her. The heads of the Equestrians, five ponies and one dragon, nervously peeked through the door, silently watching the awkward scene before them.
“Oh y’know I’d, I’d really love to stay, but—”
But before Donkey could finish, Dragon tugged at Donkey’s tail with her mouth.
“Hey, hey, don’t do that! That’s my tail! That’s my personal tail. You’re gonna tear it off. I don’t give permission to—hey! What are you gonna do with that?”
The dragon was starting to get very horny, playing around with the anxious Donkey. The beast proceeded to press her lips, ready to plant Donkey a big wet kiss. While sorting a plan, Shrek looked up and soon realized that the chain was jammed above him. He started to shake it, trying to relapse it from the pulley. All of a sudden, the pulley broke loose, and Shrek started falling.
“Hey, now! No way!” Donkey shook his head. “No! No! No, no! No. No, no, no. No! Oh!”
Just mere seconds before Donkey and Dragon made contact, Shrek landed atop of the mule, bumping him out of Dragon’s grasp as the Dragon leaned down for a kiss… but instead planted her lips upon Shrek’s rump. The Equestrians witnessing the event were disgusted by the sight, Spike planting a claw upon his mouth to keep from throwing up and Rarity fainting at the horrific sight.
And this moment is why I ‘hate’ toilet humor with a passion.
The moment the Dragon opened her eyes and saw what she had done, much to her horror, she roared in disgust. By then, Shrek released his hold on the chain and sent the chandelier on top of her head, which acted as a collar around her neck. As the dragon roared again, Shrek and Donkey immediately took off running dodging a blast of fire from the enraged monster. Shrek grabbed Donkey in one arm, then grabbed Princess Fiona, who wandered into the room, with the other as he ran past her. The Equestrians proceeded to follow after the running ogre-in-disguise.
“Hi, Princess!” Donkey greeted.
“It talks!” Fiona gasped.
“Yeah, it’s getting him to shut up that’s the trick!” Shrek spoke, facing the Equestrians. “Where’re the others?”
“Fluttershy’s led the Ever After girls down the exit we passed,” Twilight instructed. “We need to get to the bridge right now!”
They gasped as Shrek suddenly stopped, having reached the end of the balcony. Shrek spotted a fallen column that formed a sort of slide. Twilight Sparkle, along with Rainbow Dash and Spike, took off into the sky toward the ground below as Shrek and the others hopped on it just as Dragon tried to bite them. The others slid down the slide; unfortunate, they spotted a crack in the stone. The Earth ponies and Rarity quickly hopped over the crack... but the crack struck Shrek right in the groin, his eyes crossed as he reached the bottom of the slide. While the group ran ahead, their flying friends joining up, Shrek stumbled after them groaning in pain. The dragon chased after them, the beast lunging in attack mode, the chain of the chandelier still unraveling.
Fiona (Sings):
Are you there, God?
It’s me, Fiona!
“Lady, how’s about less praying and more running?!” Rainbow cried out.
Fiona (Sings):
In the end remember
All your dreams come TRUE!!!
They narrowly dodged the dragon’s fire blast as the chased continued into a large hall of the castle.
Fiona (Sings):
Say your affirmations
And love will come to you.
If you can conceive it
Believe it, achieve it.
“This princess has gone plum daffy!” Applejack remarked, mid-run.
“Ooh, actually that sounds like fun!” Pinkie smiled. “Let me try!”
Pinkie Pie (Sings):
Mad dragon, yay
Skeletons, hoory!
Pretending I’m not here
Nothing more to fear!
Pink ponies, happy sky!
Pink ponies, happy sky!
They raced past a multitude of stone pillars, the dragon never far behind as her chain looped itself around. Shrek and the others zig-zagged around them trying to work the trail to their advantage.
Pinkie Pie and Fiona (Sings):
Pink ponies, happy sky
Pink ponies, happy sky…
Fiona (Sings):
Oh, my God! We’re gonna die!
The Dragon ended up in front of them and took a deep breath ready to fire. Acting quick, Spike shoved the group aside and they dodged the fire, while Spike took the majority of the attack. The group quickly turned as smoke began to build.
“SPIKE!!!” The girls cried out.
As the smoke cleared, Spike wobbled his way through as smoke cleared through his nostrils. To their relief, he didn’t seem hurt at all. But judging by his expression he looked like he was slightly high by the overwhelming sensation.
“Awesome…!” Spike sighed, giddy-like.
“GUYS!!! OVER HERE!” Fluttershy’s voice called out.
The group spotted Fluttershy and the Ever After girls, waving toward them near the entrance of the bridge and desperately beckoning them to hurry. The group leapt over several rows of chains, while Twilight and Rainbow flew over them. Spike, still dazed from the attack, laid on Applejack’s back as she carried him the rest of the way. Shrek quickly came to a halt, which Twilight took notice of.
“Okay, you two, head for the exit!” Shrek ordered, setting Donkey and Fiona down.
“Shrek, what’re you doing?!” Twilight cried worriedly. “Run!”
“It’s all right, little pony! I’ll take care of the dragon.”
Shrek grabbed for a sword lodged deeply in the floor, as if the ogre was preparing to take a stand against the best. But instead, Shrek stuck it through a link in the chain embedding it deep within the floor. Twilight, witnessing his actions, realized what the ogre was planning and proceeded to take off with the others. By now, Shrek and Twilight Sparkle caught up with the others, who waited near the exit.
“RUN!!!” Shrek and Twilight called.
They sprinted as fast as they could out of the castle, Cerise and Maddie carrying the wounded Raven in their arms as they ran. Running across the rickety bridge, they sped up as Dragon breathed a huge fireball behind them. The Ever After High girls, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Spike just made it to the other side while the others just reached the middle of the bridge. But the fire quickly burned the ropes eventually snapping the bridge in half.
While Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash were already in midair, their friends were hanging onto the bridge as they swung to the other side. But Donkey, unable to grab on, fell to the lava below… but not before Shrek caught him by the tail. Fiona screamed in terror as Dragon flew over the boiling lava to get them. Twilight and Rainbow Dash assumed the position, the latter ready for a fight.
“Bring it on, heart burn!” Rainbow taunted, holding her fists.
Suddenly, the chandelier jerked Dragon back, the sword having lodged itself into a storm column and the chain was stuck. The Dragon couldn’t move any further, too focused on the fact she was stuck. Rainbow Dash smirked as she saw the position the beast was in.
“We got her on the run now!” Rainbow declared, ready to charge.
“No, Dash,” Twilight held her back. “We’re done here… we’re done…”
With the Dragon preoccupied, the remainder of the group quickly climbed for safety as their friends reached down to pull them up. Seeing the group escaping her lair, the Dragon released a defeated cry… followed by a sad whimper. Not so much because she failed her task to keep the princess in her tower, but because for the first time she seemingly met someone she cared about, someone she thought loved her… and now he was gone. He’d be leaving somewhere very far away, and she might never see him again… it hurt her so much.
<>
The first to emerge was Princess Fiona, who gracefully slid down to the bottom of the volcanic hill. The Mane Six and Spike slid down behind her, helping the Ever After crew down. As they settled in the comfort of safety, Fiona was so overwhelmed with joy over her newfound freedom… she couldn’t help but sing… again.
Fiona (Sings):
This is how I pictured it,
More or less, I must admit.
A thumping in my heart.
A life about to start…
I knew this day would come,
And you would find your way. (Spike tiredly gave a thumbs up)
At last my dream comes true.
I knew, I knew, I knew…
… it would be… TODAY!!!
And all at once, the set had changed. They are safe on the other side; all signs of the Dragon (Apart from her fading roar) and her keep had vanished. Fiona skipped about like the overjoyed princess she is. The Equestrians and the Ever After crew are winded.
“Well… that was certainly an experience,” Spike sighed in relief.
“One I’m rather is over now,” Rarity nodded.
“At least we made it out alive,” Fluttershy spoke softly.
Yeah… just barely…
Speaking of which, how is it one tiny sword was able to hold back a giant dragon anyway?
It’s a cartoon, who knows?
“Oh how hat-tastic!” Maddie smiled, looking toward the sky. “New narrator friends!”
Wait… she hears us?
She’s the Mad Hatter’s daughter. Why are you so surprised? Pinkie can hear us.
“Yes indeedy I can!” Pinkie giggled.
“You hear them too?” Maddie asked, wide-eyed.
“Well of course!” Pinkie nodded. “Been talking to them throughout the whole series so far.”
“Well, high-diddle-diddle! Isn’t that a coincidence?” Maddie giggled. “Would you like some tea?”
She took off her tiny hat and procured an entire tea set. She proceeded to pour two cups of tea, complete with a few squares of sugar from the teapot.
“Miss Maddie, I get the feeling we’re going to get along just fine!” Pinkie grinned.
As this went on, Raven slowly yet surely started to regain her strength back. She at least was able to stand again, granted her stance was still wobbly. The girl nearly fell before Apple and Ashlynn caught her.
“Whoa now, take it easy Raven,” Ashlynn urged. “Don’t push yourself too hard.”
“Last thing we need is another friend leaving us too soon,” Apple said tearfully. “I can’t bear the thought.”
“Don’t worry you guys, I’m fine,” Raven assured. “Just need to catch my bearings is all.”
“Thankfully, Princess Fiona knows a thing or two about patching people up,” Cerise sighed gratefully. “Which surprises me since she’s been locked in a tower all these years.”
Meanwhile, Fiona was still overjoyed to finally be free from her prison.
“You did it!” She exclaimed excitedly. “You-did-it-you-did-it-you-did-it! You rescued me! You’re amazing, you’re—you’re wonderful, you’re…”
Behind them, Donkey tumbled his way down the hill. Shrek slid down the hill and crashed into Donkey. Some of the ponies cringed over the impact.
“A little unorthodox I’ll admit,” She stated awkwardly. “But—they deed is great, and thine heart is pure. And you—”
She pointed toward Spike, who looked side to side quickly and then pointed to himself mouthing ‘Me?’.
“You stood up against your own race and saved my life without expecting anything in return. Little dragon, I am eternally in your debt.”
“Well, well, well…” Spike smiled, crossing his arms.
“Ahem…” Donkey cleared his throat.
“And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed?” Fiona asked.
She knelt beside Donkey, reached down, and squeezed his face.
“Alright! I hope you heard that,” Donkey said happily. “She called me a ‘noble steed’! She thinks I’m a steed.”
“Yeah, yeah, we all heard it!” Rainbow rolled her eyes.
Donkey blushed, causing Fiona to chuckle and Shrek to roll his eyes in suit.
“Well, Sir Shrek, the battle is won,” Fiona declared, standing up. “You may remove your helmet, good Knight.”
Donkey and the ponies gasped, making eye contact with Shrek.
“Ahh… no,” Shrek spoke hesitantly.
“Why not?” Fiona asked.
“I… I have helmet hair.”
“Oh yeah, you know how it is!” Rainbow nodded quickly. “It’s a very bad sight, you’d be uncomfortable. Heck, you should see how Applejack’s hair looks when she’s wearing that old hat of hers twenty-four seven.”
“Watch it, hon!” Applejack scolded lightly.
“Please, I would’st look upon the face of my rescuerer,” Fiona insisted coyly.
“Oh no, you wouldn’t… tst,” Shrek replied.
“But—how will you kiss me?” Fiona asked, batting her eyelashes.
“What?” Shrek asked, bumping into a tree stump. “That wasn’t in the job description.”
“Maybe it’s a perk!” Donkey smiled.
“No, it’s destiny,” Fiona explained. “Oh, you must know how it goes: ‘A princess locked in a tower and beset by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight, and then they share true love’s first kiss’.”
The entire group gave Fiona a wide-eyed look.
“Hmm? With Shrek?” Donkey questioned. “You think—who, whoa, wait a sec! You think that Shrek is your true love?”
“The big guy right here?” Rainbow pointed at Shrek.
“Well… yes,” Fiona nodded, smiling sheepishly.
Shrek, Donkey, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Spike turned to each other… and burst out laughing.
“Oh sweet Celestia, that’s funny!” Rainbow laughed.
“You think Shrek is your true love!” Donkey wheezed.
“What is so funny?” Fiona asked.
“Well, let’s just say I’m not your type, okay?” Shrek told her.
“Of course, you are,” Fiona retorted. “You’re my rescuer! Now—now remove your helmet.”
“Look, I really don’t think that’s a good idea,” Shrek warned.”
“Just take off the helmet.”
“I’m not going to.”
“Take it off.”
“No!”
“NOW!!!”
“Okay! Easy! As you command… Your Highness.”
Reluctantly, Shrek slowly took off his helmet revealing his ogre self. Fiona eyed him blankly, confused but not frightened. Shrek grinned awkwardly, the same said for the others.
“Surprise…” Fluttershy smiled weakly.
“You’re… an ogre?” Fiona asked.
“… Sorry,” Rarity apologized.
“Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming?” Shrek remarked.
Suddenly, before Fiona could answer, Maddie and Pinkie popped up between the two.
“Ooh, which ones?” Maddie asked eagerly. “There’s Daring and Dexter.”
“Didn’t you also say they have a sister named Darling?” Pinkie asked.
“Oh peas and tea cakes, you’re right!” Maddie snapped her finger. “Though actually, Darling’s not really into princes herself. Actually, it’s a very funny story when you think about—”
But Apple White slapped a hand over Maddie’s mouth, not so much to not spoil a secret but to gesture her to the ogre and the princess. Fiona and Shrek eyed them with narrow eyes, unamused by their antics. Pinkie and Maddie merely smiled, taking the hint, and walked off with Apple White.
“Oh, no. This is all wrong!” Fiona complained, pacing back and forth. “You’re not supposed to be an ogre!”
“Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay?” Shrek informed her. “He’s the one who wants to marry you.”
The mere mention of Lord Farquaad prompted Fiona to turn about in surprise.
“Well then, why didn’t he come rescue me?” She asked.
“Good question,” Shrek replied. “You should ask him that when we get there.”
Shrek turned, removing what little armor remained attached.
“But I have to be rescued by my true love!” Fiona exclaimed. “Not by some ogre and hi… hi… his pets!”
A heavy gasp emerged, as the Mane Six and Spike froze and slowly turned towards the princess.
“Who are you calling pets?” Rainbow asked offended.
“Well, so much for noble steed,” Donkey sighed disappointed.
“And so much for eternal debt!” Spike sighed, with a huff.
“Look princess, you’re not making my job any easier,” Shrek sighed, irritated.
“I’m sorry, but your job is not my problem,” Fiona huffed, crossing her arms. “You can tell Lord Farquaad that if he wants to rescue me properly, I’ll be waiting for him right here.”
Fiona sat down determinedly on a nearby rock; however, Twilight was not having it.
“Excuse me?!” Twilight gasped, frustrated. “We spent an entire day trying to get to this castle with very little sleep! We’re captured by a homicidal centaur and his croons, fought tooth and nail for our freedom and yours, barely escaped a dragon with our lives… and all of a sudden, you think you can just belittle us after all the trouble we went through to save you! I don’t think so!”
“Easy Twi… remember your breathing…” Apple instructed calmly.
“And another thing!” Shrek said loudly. “I’m no one’s messenger boy, all right? I’m a delivery boy.”
“You wouldn’t dare!” Fiona challenged.
With no second thought, Shrek lifted Fiona over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Fiona kicked and screamed like a spoiled little brat.
“AGGHH! PUT ME DOWN! AGGGHH!”
“You all comin’?” Shrek asked the group.
“Oh yep! I’m right behind ya!” Donkey replied.
“Time to hit the road again,” Spike added.
“Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences!” Fiona said angrily. “This is not dignified! Put me down!”
Fiona smacked Shrek on the back of the head, screaming in frustration as the entire group proceeded down the mountain.
“You know every pony; I’d say this will go much faster if we do this in song!” Pinkie suggested.
Pinkie proceeded to take out a ukelele and proceeded to strum a familiar tune.
Pinkie Pie (Sings):
Sing a song, yes a travel song
When you got—
But Rainbow Dash quickly swiped the ukelele off of a confused Pinkie Pie’s grip. Rainbow proceeded to tighten the four strings until they snapped one-by-one. She proceeded to split the instrument in half and pressed the neck until it burst into a billion pieces. Then she took the body and slammed a hoof through the hole making it bigger before hurling it over the side sending it plummeting to the ground below. Rainbow proceeded to fly ahead as Pinkie Pie stared blankly at the scene.
“A simple ‘no’ would’ve been fine, thank you!” Pinkie called out, following the group.
As they walked down, from high atop the mountain, the shadow of Uncle Howdy watched the departing group.
“He’s got the whole world in his hands.”
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Finally, they reach the princess. Course, getting to her tower was one thing, but getting her out was another matter.
Luckily, our heroes weren't capture by Tirek and his cronies for long as they demonstrated how resourceful they are even when limited in their own abilities. It's astounding how the villains still underestimate the ponies and still think they are 'stupid'. But if this part goes to show, Tirek should learn better of forming trusts with villains who end up betraying him. Need we remind him what happened with his absent brother, Scorpan?
Anyway, turned out the Dragon seemed lonely and only wanted the same level of affection as every other creature. And the one being who seemed to offer her that was a Donkey trying to talk his way from being eaten. Oh, she was intending to 'eat' him all right... but in a more 'suggestive' type of way that, due to the rating system, we couldn't really describe it so 'vividly'. Course, after the supposed love of her life was taken from her in an attempt to also rescue the princess, no wonder she seemed so sad at the end.
As for Fiona... does this seem remind everyone of Princess Leah and her initial behavior with her 'rescue' team? And we thought Organa was difficult.
Not exactly the way a rescue was supposed to go down at least not the way Fiona wanted it to go but at least she got rescued. Poor Spike taking that blast of fire full shot. But at least he came out of it in tact. Proves he’s a lot stronger. And Apple and Raven have their friends back. Let’s see how they deal getting back to Duloc now
Questions that comes to my head at the end of the episode:
"Why has Uncle Howdy saved our heroes from Tirek and his minions? Does it have anything to do with what Mothman did in "Scooby-Doo 2"?"
Yeah, probably not the best time Pinkie
There he is again
2:49
*That’s me, when I realized a new chapter has been published, and I accidentally swallowed something I shouldn’t have swallowed, like a gum.*
Whoa. Didn't expect another WWE personality to show up. Wonder what his role in all this is?
youch.
Now thats just gross.
What just happened?
Thats one way to wake up a sleeping princess
Very good
Ah, the nostalgia.
I really do miss that movie.
Did he actually say that?
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Yes, yes he did.
Hahahahaha
Oh god no
NOT ANOTHER PINKIE!!
Dont think about it
ooooooooooooh😮
imagine her rescuer is a pony.
So her true lover in marriage would be a PONY.
Or maybe even a donkey in an other case.
HAHHAHHAHA
NO THANK YOU PINKIE
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Discord's Theatre, Galaxy Branch
Luke Skywalker: It would appear that they still have many obstacles to overcome.
Han Solo: At least Admiral Ackbar's not here to say that it was a trap.
Leia Organa: And I didn't want to say anything, but I sometimes find it annoying.
Lando Calrissian: You're not the only one sister.
Ahsoka Tano: True, you can't just go around attacking someone for no reason.
Postwar: Yeah, tell that to the Empire. They always want to attack for no reason.
Sunset Shimmer: Uh, I think you're confusing them from the Empire.
Postwar: Meh, Potatoe, petatoe.
Galen Marek: What is she planning?
Cal Kestis: I think we'll soon find out.
Sunset Shimmer: Ugh, tell me about it, this is Equestria Land all over again.
Postwar: Or that time she tried to pair her and Rainbow up without even figuring out what they do have in common.
Sunset Shimmer: Whoa, a key?
Galen Marek: What would they need a key for?
Ahsoka Tano: I have a feeling that there key is an important part of their journey.
Luke Skywalker: My thoughts exactly.
Han Solo: About time they did some real damage.
Ben Solo: Yeah!! Kick their butts!!
Postwar: That's what happens when you side with ones that will double cross you. If you're not careful Tirek, the Benefactor will do the same to you.
Han Solo: You can say that again.
Ben Solo: *stood up, ready for battle* Let me at em, let me at em!!
Leia Organa: Sit down, Ben. *Leia pulls Ben down, making him sit next to her*.
Sunset Shimmer: Wha...whu...what was that?
Postwar: I...have no idea. *texted to Phantom: Uh, Phantom? I think we have a situation. The Howdy Uncle, situation*
Leia Organa: *slaps her forehead* You've got to be kidding me.
Postwar: Meh, in my opinion, they're just upholding tradition. Which, also in my opinion, went out of style sixty years ago.
Sunset Shimmer: You can say that again.
Postwar: Oh, brother. Some people never think things through.
Sunset Shimmer: When it comes to rescuing a princesss?
Ahsoka Tano: Or when it comes to fighting a dragon before making an entrance?
Postwar: All of the above.
Postwar: Ugh, about time. These musicals tend to get stale every day. This is why, I'd prefer the musicals from Equestria, Canterlot High, along with the Mane 6 and Rainbooms.
Sunset Shimmer: *looks at him with a flexed eyebrow* You like the way we sing?
Postwar: Of course, I do, your songs are more original, perfect and catchy at the same time.
Galen Marek: He's not wrong there.
Leia Organa: When you're right, you're right. It's definitely out of style.
Postwar: Good thing you're one of those types that prefer action and ass kicking, rather than sitting on the sidelines.
Luke Skywalker: He's not wrong there.
Postwar & co: Here we go.
Galen Marek: Ugh, about time she stopped.
Postwar: Ditto on that one.
Postwar: Yeah, he's not wrong, not everyone charges headfirst. That's like trying to jump in headfirst into a gundark's butt.
Everyone, minus Luke, shuddered in disgust over what he had just said:
Luke Skywalker: Maybe you shouldn't have said that.
Sunset Shimmer: Don't we all? *gets a nod from the others*
Everyone couldn't help but chuckle at Donkey's predicament.
Postwar: Some things never change.
Whilst the girls cringed in disgust, Postwar roared with laughter whilst holding his gut, even Cal, Galen and Han couldn't help themselves.
Cal Kestis: Ouch.
Galen Marek: That's going to hurt in the morning.
Postwar: Without a warning in the afternoon.
Lando Calrissian: At least they're getting plenty of exercise.
Postwar: Rarity might disapprove of that. Come of think of it, did your Rarity ever do any exercising? Cause I've never seen her do that.
Sunset Shimmer: Oh, she does from time to time, but then she would complain about the sweat around her.
Sunset Shimmer: *sighs in relief* That was a close call.
Ahsoka Tano: I've had worse.
Postwar: True, you faced a ton of unknowns during the Clone Wars.
Postwar: Looks like she made a new friend.
Sunset Shimmer: One who's a little more crazy, but not completely.
Cal Kestis: I believe that there is no need to fuel their egos a bit further.
Sunset Shimmer: You get used to it.
Postwar: Neither did ours, but you don't see us complaining.
All: Agreed.
Half of them laughed at that too:
Sunset Shimmer: She can't be serious.
Postwar: Oh, don't worry, you will. *especially the ending*
Sunset Shimmer: What?
Postwar: NOTHING!! *smiles sheepishly, which Sunset shrugged and continued with the movie*
Leia Organa: Well, she wasn't expecting that.
Postwar: Hard thing about life, always be prepared to face a few disappointments.
Sunset Shimmer: No argument there.
Han Solo: Glad you didn't turn out like that, I don't think a Princess life would suit you.
Lando Calrissian: He does have a point there.
Leia Organa: For once I agreee with you guys.
Postwar: Ugh, Princesses. *looks at Leia* No offense.
Leia Organa: None taken.
Sunset Shimmer: It's Rainbow Dash, what did you expect? She's not exactly open about anything.
Postwar: Yeah, no kidding, it's a wonder she even has any friends at all.
Postwar: Ho boy, this ain't good.
Sunset Shimmer: Agreed.
Galen Marek: Hopefully they're prepared for what's to come.
Good lord, this chapter made me laugh so hard, especially when Dash destroyed the ukulele lmao, Uncle Howdy gave me the absolute shivers when he appeared, just what is his goal? Anyway, awesome chapter Mr. E and Drama 🎭
Here's a better idea: Wait until the real thing could appear in the series
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Yep.
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Canterlot Mall Theater, Discord's Branch
Fluttershy: I-I hope they’re able to rescue them (the shy girl said in a worried tone)
Applejack: Don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll save them and get out (the farm girl said towards Fluttershy as she placed a hand on her shoulder)
Arctic: So, they had a reason to attack.
Sci-Twi: But, what reason could it be? (She questioned as she looked towards Ace) From what it looks like, they don’t know what they’re talking about
Arctic: Guess, will find out soon enough Twi (he mentioned back towards the princess counterpart)
Rainbow Dash: Ugh, we know that feeling (she mentioned and looked over to the fashionista slightly)
Rarity: Well! Excuse me for getting worried about breaking a nail or two after I just got them nice and polished
Rainbow Dash: We’re saving the world Rares! Sometimes, it's gonna be a little dirty
Rarity: Maybe, but I like to keep myself from ruining well-made hair and nails
Rainbow Dash: (she just groaned and shakes her head a bit) You’re unbelievable sometimes.
Pinke: Ooo~! It’s a key! (The party girl said when she saw it)
Sci-Twi; But, what is it for exactly?
Arctic: If it’s something that important to them. It can’t be anything good
Applejack: Eeyup
Rainbow Dash: Aw yeah! Time for them to get their butts kick!
Arctic: And that’s why you should never underestimate the shy ones. Especially when it comes to Fluttershy's stare
Rainbow: Hehe, good work there, Flutters (she mentioned to her shy friend)
Fluttershy:(blush a bit in embarrassment and smiled softly)
Arctic: Honestly, not surprising. When it comes to team ups with villains like this, they then double cross each other
Sci-Twi: You would think after this long, villains would learn not to trust other villains when they share a common enemy. Only to use them for their own game
The Equestrian Girls and Ace were shocked at the events that just occurred and just witnessed Uncle Howdy saving the Princess and her friends
Fluttershy: W-What just happened?
Arctic: I..honestly don’t know Flutters
Applejack: Things never get thought through all the way do they? (She questioned)
Arctic: Nope, they sure don’t AJ (he mentioned to the farm girl)
Pinkie: Aw, no singing (she said sadly)
Arctic: To be fair, Pinkie the singing has been dragging out just a “tiny” bit (he mentioned to her)
Applejack: Have to agree. I mean, there is a time and a place, and right now, doesn’t seem like the best time
Rainbow Dash: Thank you! (She said said in relief)
Sci-Twi: She finally stop..
Rarity: Still, she does have a lovely voice
Fluttershy: I-I’m sure he has a plan. Right? (She asked hopefully)
Sci-Twi: It might be a crazy one, and hopefully, not just charge in like a certain someone. (She said and looked towards Rainbow Dash slightly)
Rainbow Dash: Hey! Lay off, I said sorry. Besides, I don’t do that anymore… sometimes (she said as she trailed off a bit)
Applejack: And that’s why we make sure to keep a good eye on you, so you don’t get us or yourself hurt.
Applejack: Eeyup
Pinkie: (giggles softly) Poor Donkey.
Arctic: Yeah, he can’t catch a break (he said with a small chuckle)
The Equestrian Girls and Ace wince a bit seeing Shrek in pain yet again.
Arctic: Fffoohhh, right where Celestia light doesn’t shine
Fluttershy: They made it out. (She said with a small smile)
Sci-Twi: Yeah, but that was a close one
Sci-Twi: (was shocked and confused by this) W-What! How?!
Arctic: Huh, she can do that to? Neat (he said as he thinks into his thoughts) wonder how Phantom and everyone in Discord Theater in Ponyville will react to this? (He said in his thoughts)
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, probably not the best thing to say when it comes to those two.
Rarity: Well, she’s not wrong. The knight in shining armor does get a kiss from the princess he saved
Applejack: That maybe true, but doesn’t mean it always has to happen Rares
Rarity: But it’s so romantic that way. (She said with a happy sigh)
Rainbow Dash and Pinkie tried to hold in their laugher but soon failed bursting with laughter as their friends look at them with a slight stare
Applejack: Really? (She said with a stern look)
Rainbow Dash: O-oh come on! It’s a little bit funny (she mentioned as she leans on Pinkie for support who also kept laughing slightly)
Arctic: Oh, they’re in for a surprise. (He said in his head)
Sci-Twi: Bet she wasn’t expecting a ogre
Applejack: Nope
Everyone but Ace: WHAT?!
Rainbow Dash: Seriously?! After everything they have been through to save you!
Rarity: That’s not really lady like at all
Sci-Twi: Especially, not a way to act like a princess
Applejack: Well, that’s one way to make her come
Fluttershy: S-She sounds like she’s going to be mad for awhile
Rainbow Dash: Don’t worry, Fluttershy, she’ll calm down sooner or later
Arctic: Yeah, that was definitely not the best time
Pinkie: (pouts a bit) still mean to do that
Arctic: I got a bad feeling about this. Why did he save them? And what does that key unlock? Still, many questions need answers to.
Next>>
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Looking good!
But you may want to check the [ quote ] brackets a bit more.
From the looks of it, I’d say some of them are missing their slash marks, which are important to close off quotations from the story, to separate them from the commentary reactions.
Sorry if I came too late, Mr. E!
I just got back home from work, had a nap, and got caught up in an intensive Legendary Raid in Pokémon Go.
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*Text received!*
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Thanks Phantom!
And, thanks for letting that know about that.
I thought put/made the /quote mark in the all ending quote after looking back through everything. Lucky it was just 1 quote that was missing it’s mark so everything else was fixed easily
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Oh I’ve made a few boo-boos now and then, when I first started. Now harm!
Keep up the good work! 👍
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Future G5
Discord Memorial Cinema
Me (on the phone): So, what you’re saying is that they also have their own set of sayings exclusive to their world and culture too? (responds) No, no it’s fine, sir. Yes, I promise not to let my frustrations impugn on my professionalism. Goodbye, sir.
I hung up the phone, collected the popcorn and chips and headed back into the theater.
Me: Who ordered the extra buttery popcorn and potato chips?
Pippsqueaks: We did!
Me: That’ll be seventeen bits each.
Pippsqueaks: Seventeen bits each for popcorn and chips?!
Me: Well, you each did order the bundle.
The three foals paid me for their snacks.
Me: Enjoy your food.
I then sat down back in my seat and resumed the film.
Zipp: He’s…really got them tongue tied.
Hitch: I hate it when that happens.
Me: You know, after watching a few clips of Big Jack Horner…I’m starting to appreciate Tirek’s kind of villainy.
Sunny: What…kind of villainy?
Me: The kind that knows they’re a *censored* and don’t care whatsoever.
Posey: Would you stop it with the swearing?!
Me: Kids do it all the time when they’re alone.
Izzy: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhh!!!
Pipp: …don’t do that again.
Sunny: Leverage?
Hitch: I also hate it when this happens?
Me: Well, he’s no Khan, so that automatically degrades him.
Me: I would’ve said: “Daggum”, but that works just as well.
Izzy: I’d said: “Mayo—” (hastily covers her mouth, gasping) Oh, no…I almost said it.
Sunny: I’m sure it’s no big deal, Izzy. I mean, don’t you have to say the entire word for it to be…jinxie?
Izzy: (ponders) You know, you’re right.
Hitch: I would be more concerned about breaking a bone, or tearing a ligament. (gets stares) What? Basic medical training is part of the job.
Zipp: What the?
Sunny: What is that?
Izzy: It’s a key. Keys are meant to unlock stuff.
Zipp: I’m sure we’ve gotten that already.
Me: (sarcasm) What does it unlock: the gateway to Hell and fame and fortune?
Me: Now where have I heard that before?
Me: Oh, now I remember!
Zipp: Huh?
Me: Jesus tap-dancing on a unicycle in New Palestine Christ!
Red: (thoughts) I would not want anyone to tap-dance on me.
Pipp: AHH!!
Zipp: Yikes!
Izzy: Didn’t see that coming!
Sunny: No!
Me: That was quick.
Sunny: Yes, they’re free!
Izzy: WOOHOO!!!
Zipp: Aw, yeah! It’s fighting time!
Me: Wait a second, I just realized something: does Tirek no longer have the ability to siphon magic? Because I’m pretty sure he’d have done it by now.
Me: Yeah, sure, okay. Save the big reveal until after the fighting is done. I guess some villains really do have a sense of good form.
Hitch: I do not want to get on her bad side.
Zipp: You’re knocking ‘em dead, mare!
Pipp: What?!
Zipp: Not literally!
Me: Uh oh, now he’s done it.
Izzy: You dun messed up now, son!
Me: I have no comment.
Zipp: Yikes. I don’t know whether to laugh or feel sorry for the guy.
Sunny: (worried) Was he…ripped away from his family and forced to fight? That’s so sad!
Me: Just like the Chezchs and other countries taken over by Nazi Germany. (grumbles) I really should have seen this coming.
Me: Oh, so now you’re gonna get involved?
Me: Are you kidding me?
Zipp: Seriously? He’s gonna run away just like that? Typical.
Me: Oh, wow. He actually agreed with us.
Zipp: That is something I never thought would happen.
Hitch: And he just took off running!
Sprout: I hope the Dragon eats him.
Audience: SPROUT!!
Hitch: Not in front of Sparky!
Sprout: Sorry!
Zipp: Wow.
Me: Hey, wait a minute!
Sunny: Okay, that’s just gross.
Pipp: Wow. He really is a has-been.
Me: He must be, if he’s resorting to using threats from the Wet Bandits.
There was an air of suspense hanging over the atmosphere of the theater.
Sunny: Wh–what’s happening?
Pipp: (scared) I don’t like the music.
Izzy: YIPE!! (dives under the table) I can’t see him if he can’t see me!
Hitch: (stammers) I don’t…I don’t…
Zipp: (loses it) WHAT IS GOING ON?!!!
Me: (unamused) My boss’ love for WWE. It’s only fair that he enjoys watching wrestling while I enjoy watching motor racing. (sighs) Maybe they’ll be some motor racing representation later on, but that’s a hard pass, honestly.
Sunny: Why are you not scared?!
Me: Four words, two names: Stephen King and Tim Burton. (double-takes) Oh, wait, that’s five. Whoops. In any case, I just don’t see why I should be scared of this guy. Hell, I don’t even know his name.
Me: Okay, I’ll admit it, I’m…slightly concerned.
Pipp: Just now?!
Me: I’m sorry, I’m just not used to watching cute fluff. I enjoy things that are twisted, and non-trendy.
Pipp: WHAT?!!!
Zipp: GIVE IT A REST, PIPP!!!!
Zipp: I have no idea.
Me: Whatever it was, thank goodness I don’t ask questions anymore.
Izzy: (peeks out) I-I-I-I-I-Is h-h-he g-g-g-gone?
Sunny: (relieved) Y-Ye-Yes, Izzy. He’s gone.
Izzy: Oh, thank hoofness.
Me: And…I’ve now rescinded my notion. How’s Shrek doing?
Me: Sorry I asked.
Haven: Did I really need to hear that?
Alphabittle: No, but you did anyway.
Pipp: Oh, my hoofness! AH! It’s straight out of a fairy tale!
Sunny: I know right?! This moment’s always so magical!
Zipp: (sarcasm) Yeah, real magical alright.
Zipp: Pfft, HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! I take it back, that was magical!
Hitch: (chuckles) That’s not what I expected, but I’m all for it.
Sunny: (likewise) Same here.
Pipp: Why’d you have to ruin the moment?! (takes out phone, takes a picture, and typing) #MagicalMomentRuined.
Zipp: Yeah, I think I left my lessons on Old Equish in the dumpster.
Pipp: It’s really not that hard to understand.
*record scratch*
Zipp: The same way he got up?
Izzy: Yeah, how do you fly backwards through a hole in the roof?
Me: (chuckling) That was great.
Pipp: Why must this movie hate fairy tales so much?
Zipp: (snidely) You’re starting to sound more like Rarity everyday.
Pipp: Oh, shut up.
Zipp: Wow, she’s had a lot of time to plan this.
Hitch: Well, yeah…she was locked in a tower for years, which is downright illegal.
Izzy: But it’s a fairy tale!
Hitch: That doesn’t make it any less illegal, though!
Zipp: That’s exactly what I said!
Pipp: Uh, maybe he can sing a song after they’ve escaped from the danger?!
Zipp: Yeah, I’m with you on this one!
Pipp: Ugh~!
Sunny: Gross!
Me: DAAAHHH!!!!
I suddenly fell out of my chair.
Posey: (unamused) Uhuh.
Hitch: Have we forgotten about the whole…life-threatening thing?
Zipp: (deadpan) Most likely.
Hitch: (likewise) Great.
Hitch: (worried) Don’t worry, Sparky! Eheh, they’re not talking about you!
Tinny: I hope Spike won’t be harmed.
Sunny: Oh no! Donkey!
Zipp: Oof, those other guys really did not think this through.
Zipp: Huh?
Me: Ah, yes. A callback to the classic nonsensical poems of Lewis Caroll. My personal favorite is The Jabberwocky.
Zipp: Huh?!
There were many sounds of fainting heard throughout the theater.
Me: (grumbles) This is the part of the job that I hate the most.
Zipp: (green) Is that…really what the Princess has been feeding on this whole time?
Me: That would be gruesome…and ironic at the same time.
Zipp: (deadpan look)
Me: It’s okay, I’ve prepared for this. (takes out a pair of air horns)
Zipp: Uh…what are you gonna do with those—
Me: Keep watching the film, everyone!
Haven: (grumbles) Honestly, does he have no decency?
Posey: (appalled) Did he just—?!
Me: He means Donkey. That’s just another word synonymous with a donkey. I can imagine it being a slur back at base camp.
Me: (with Shrek) One of a kind.
Sprout: Gold?! Jewels! TREA—
*WHACK*
Me: I didn’t make it all the way through Iraq just to take this nonsense.
Zipp: Is this…really happening?
Izzy: Aw, she’s in love with him!
Sunny: Yeah, but don’t you think she’s being a little…uh…too, intimate?
Me: I’ve only just now realized how much this particular scene reminds me of A Midsummer Night’s Dream.
Zipp: Shrek, where are you? Please save this poor donkey.
Pipp: Okay, yeah, this is starting to get very uncomfortable.
Just about every audience member cringed or cried out in disgust.
Pipp: EW!!
Zipp: Ugh, seriously?!
Sunny: That’s even more gross!
Sprout: WHY?!!!!
Haven:
Where has decency gone?
It hath drowned in the pond.
Onyx: (mumbles) Hey…
Tinny: Yikes!
Hitch: Look away, Sparky!
Me: And this moment is why my boss hates toilet humor with a passion. On the downside, I’ll have to cut off here for part two. Hopefully by tomorrow.
Izzy: NOOOOOOO—
>>next
Okay Mr. E.
I’m working on the next commentary now!
-stares back at Howdy-
O.O
Uh. Hello. Can we help you?
That aside, I can see with the knights bit of cruelty that the girls will retaliate full force if pushed. I also wonder what the feminine equivalent of "noble steed" would be.
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The only complaint I can make about this statement... the use of the word 'he' instead 'she'. Female dragon... we've established that. So please... a slight bit of editing on your part, if that's no trouble. Thank you very much.
Meanwhile, back at Discord’s Theater
Broken Fourth Wall
Me: “Yeah. It’s a big shocker for most of us readers as well!”
Gabby: “What they’ve taken?”
Silverstream: “Say whaaat?”
Mina: (Turns to look at me) “Doc?”
Me: (To Mina) “Don’t ask me. I don’t even got a clue!”
Gallus: “Maybe it’s gold.” It’s always—OOF!“ (I quickly shushed Gallus up)
Me: (To Gallus) “SHHHH! Don’t—“
Gold Fevers: (Perked their heads up) “Gold?!” (Instantly sees me with the 24/7 Championship Golden Belt)
Me: (To Gallus) “Now you’ve done it…”
Gold Fevers: (Chasing after me) “MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!”
Me: (Staving them off with a cow prod) “BACK! BACK YOU HUNGRY GOLD FEVER FIENDS!!!” (I then ask Mr. E an important question) “Do every 24/7 Champions deal with this kind of grievance 24/7?”
I resume fighting for my life, while continues to host.
Extra Cut
And poor Wallflower Blush was a little winded out, after a mishap attempt to free her friends, in which a Flipendo charm backfired on her, because of the nets.
Rumble: (Points at the screen) “Hey! Check it out!”
Maud Pie: (In her usual monotone) “True story.”
Everyone in the audience were all bellyaching.
Sweetie Belle: “Rarity. Now’s not the time.”
Eric’s reaction goes here.
Pharynx: “YEAH!”
Spitfire: “Yeah, Marshmallow!”
Bulk Biceps: ”YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!” (Accidentally slams his hoof on his dish, sending the food flying and landing on Tempest Shadow’s head)
Gilda: “Gee. It’s a wonder any guys would put up with her nampy-pampy attitude…”
Eric glares at Gilda, standing up for Rarity.
[centerExtra Cut]Wallflower Blush crawled over to the Mane Six and Spike.
Wallflower Blush: (To the heroes) “Hey…May I assist? You probably don’t remember me, but…”
Twilight Sparkle: (To Wallflower Blush) “Hey! I know you! You’re a friend of Sunset Shimmer! Sunflower, was it?”
Wallflower Blush: (Frowning) “Close…it’s Wallflower Blush…and I’m a…student at Hogwarts. I’m a Slytherin.” (Holds out Juniper’s wand)
Rainbow Dash: (To Wallflower Blush) “Yeah…Remind us to award you some house points later. Get us out of here!”
Wallflower proceeds to help remove the boulders from her side of the net.
Broken Fourth Wall
Discord: (Singing)
Everybody is kung fu fighting (hoo, huh)
Your mind becomes fast as lightning
Although the future is a little bit frightening (little bit frightening)
It's the book of your life that you're writing (life you're writing)
Discord looks down to see me looking at him.
Discord: (To me) “What? Too soon?”
Me: (Sighing) “Keep going…”
In truth, I’m more looking forward to some Cinematic Adventures like Kung Fu Panda, The Karate Kid, and…I don’t want to jinx it, but maybe Bruce Lee’s Enter the Dragon.
…What can I say? I love martial arts!
*Ahem*
The Audience: “GASPS!”
Capper Dapperpaw: (Surprised) “Well I’ll be!”
Sandbar: “So they did stole something valuable from them!” (Gestures to Raven) “Well, her at least.”
Smolder: (To Sandbar) “Guess they’re not so innocent anymore now. Are they? I mean…it is gold!”
Gallus: (Sarcasm) “Hey, whaddya? I guess they were after gold! I was right in the money!”
I was fending off the gold fevers, when they were momentarily distracted.
Gold Fevers: (Distracted) “GOLD?” *Hic* “MONEY?!” (Temporarily forgetting about me)
Me: (I started to sing in an operatic voice, while pointing to the screen) “GOOOOOOOOLLLLLLD~🎶”
The Gold Fevers turned to look and saw the golden key.
Gold Fevers: 🤑“GOOOOOOOLLLLLLDDDDDDR!!!!” *HIC* (Runs away to leave me alone)
Me: (Laugh to myself) “Ha ha ha ha!” (To the gold fevers) “Yeah, yeah. You guys go on ahead. Suckers…”
The Gold Fevers proceeded to attack the big screen, but ended up hurting themselves upon hitting a literal firewall.
Gold Fevers: (Repeatedly roasting themselves for gold) “Owie! Owie! Owie! Owie! Owie! OWIE!”
Once again, the audience all let out loud gasps.
Random Dude: (Jeff Bennett’s voice) “MONSTEEEEEEERRR!!!”
Lil’Cheese was bawling his eyes out, with Button Mash crying along, until Rumble slapped him.
Rumble: (To Button Mash) “Keep it together man!”
Discord: “Wow! Those knights ain’t your typical henchmen. They’re hardcore!”
Extra Cut
Wallflower Blush was also in a fighting stance, with a wand at the ready. That is until she collapses on the floor, still a little bruised from her earlier attempt at a Knockback Jinx.
Applejack: (To Wallflower Blush) “How’s about ya sit this one out, Sugarcube? And let the professionals handle it from here?”
Wallflower reluctantly nodded. She felt terrible being on the sideline, while the heroes of the story do all the fighting, whilst she’s helpless to do anything.
Bulk Biceps: ”YEEEEEEAAAAAHHHH!!!”
Button Mash: “Oh yeah! It’s on like Donkey Kong!”
Mina: “It’s going down in Dragon Town!”
Rumble & Scootaloo: “ROCK N’ ROLL!!!”
Cranky Doodle Donkey: (Cleaning one of his sore, ringing ears) "Okay, you youngsters. I think we all get the point."
Discord: "Now what's a fight, without a little...music?" (Snaps his fingers, causing the boombox around the room to blare up, and sent Cranky flying out of his seat)
Cranky Doodle Donkey: "MUSIC?!" (Lands atop Tempest Shadow)
Tempest Shadow: (Grumbling with her face in her bowl of soup) "Oh...so now my head is a landing area for flying donkeys..."
Them's Fightin' Herds – Growing Shadows (Predator Boss)
Eric and his colleagues shouts their praises for his wife.
Bulk Biceps: "YEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!"
Scootaloo: "Whoo-hoo! GO RAINBOW DASH!!!"
Zephyr Breeze: (Singing)
Rainbows! She can really move!
Rainbows! She's got an attitude!
Rainbows! She always dresses in style!
She always dresses in style!
She always dresses in styyyyyyyyle!
Me: "Wow! Disney's Mulan and Sonic the Hedgehog references at once? I'm in heaven!"
The Apple Family: (Singing and chanting)
Apple! Apple! Applejack! She's our mare!
If she can't do it,
No one can dare!
Gabby Griffon: "GO, SPIKE!"
Thorax: "C'mon, Spike! CRUSH 'EM!!!"
Pharynx: "Show 'em the Crouching Tiger and Hidden Dragon!"
Ember: (To Pharynx) "Crouching what?"
Pharynx: (To Ember) "It's a movie we watched here, sometimes during the weekend."
Me: (To Ember and Pharynx) "Hosted by me! You should see it! Michelle Yeoh, Chow Yun-fat, and Zhang Ziyi are badass. Next to Bruce Lee."
Extra Cut
Also, during the fight, Wallflower Blush finds herself being tripped over by hundreds of nights. All because...she's invisible. But on the bright side, she's been a big help for our heroes, tripping the knights off their fight, making them lose their balance, because they were too busy looking up to look down.
Wallflower Blush: (Gets her hands stepped on) "OW! My hands!" (A knight backs up into her, and falls over) "HEY! Watch it!" (Another knight stepped on her hands) "OW!"
Discord: (Grins trollishly to the knight) "Uh oh. Somebody's in trouble~"
It also bore right into the souls of all the Gold Fevers, in the movie theater.
Actually, it bore into the souls of every single audience members.
Gilda: (Staring into Fluttershy's eyes) "Uh...Gabby? Why am I feeling...stiff?"
Gabby: (To Gilda, while also affected by Fluttershy's stare) "I don't know...But I'm terrified!"
Discord: (One of the few who are immune to the Stare) "You people are so hopeless..."
Grubber: (Having been affected by Fluttershy's Stare) "I WANT MY BINKY!!!"
Me: (Also been affected by Fluttershy's Stare) "Mommy..." (Sucking my thumb)
media.tenor.com/AIhF-SefXqIAAAAC/prince-john-robin-hood.gif
Angel Bunny: (Having been affected the worst) "I'm only three and a half years old!" (Proceeds to flap his lips)
Me: "Ha! This oughta be good." (Crossed my arms and smiled confidently for our friends) "He's never been able to beat our friends before, so what makes him think this'll be any different?"
Capper Dapperpaw: "Ooh! Ouch!"
Diamond Tiara: "HA! Not so tough now without your friend. Huh, ugly?"
Big Mac: "Nope!"
*Crickets chirping SFX*
Me: 👀 "...Wrong generation, Pinkie Pie..."
Me: (Weirded out) "That's just disturbing...and too graphic for details..."
Broken Fourth Wall
At this point, I've seen enough to know what Mr. E's game was all about.
Me: "...Don't tell me. We're about to be invaded by another derange WWE Wrestler, right?"
Random Dude: "Yup."
Me: "Scarier than the Undertaker?"
Random Dude: "Maybe."
Me: "The Fiend?"
Random Dude: "Probably."
Me: "On a scale of 1 to 10, even scarier than the Rock as the Uncanny Valley Scorpion King? Or Thanos? Or Ultimate Instinct Shaggy Rogers? Or Green Goblin? Or the Hulk?"
Random Dude: "Eeeh...I wouldn't put them that high, but high enough?"
Me: "...Bring 'em on."
Extra Cut
Wallflower Blush: (To Spike) "That's what I'd like to know..."
Discord's Theater
Me: "That's what I'd like to know..." (Receives a text from Postwar)
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Postwar: "Uh, Phantom? I think we have a situation. The Howdy Uncle, situation."
Me: (Texting back) "I know! We need to do something fast!"
Next>>
4,943 words left!
More to develop tomorrow!
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Me:"I'm more worried about that key instead of Uncle Howdy, that key, where did I seen it before"?.
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Me: “You’re right, Shadow. Hmmm.” (Looks through my scouter to search for every keys made, until I’ve found the exact match) “Uh oh! That can’t be good! Our heroes have got to get that key back! If it’s in the hands of the bad guys, then we’re in big trouble!”
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Me:"what type of key is it"?.
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Me: “It’s a Skeleton Key! Question is: How did they get it to begin with?”
11518019
Shadow! Hunter! Call the others! At times like this, we need to put on our sleuthing caps! We’ve got to figure these things out fast!
I can almost feel us getting close to identifying our suspects: The Benefactor, the Dark One, and this Mysterious N.
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Me:"I'll contact Drama, hopefully he can help".
11517929
Me:(radio)"Drama, we have a problem, the Key that appear in the world where twilight and her friends has been identified as a Skeleton Key, we need a plan fast"!!!!!.
11518041
This is more than just a 'skeleton key', those individuals clearly want that key for a specific reason. The advice is to keep an eye out and figure out the key's intent and purpose.
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Me: Tongue tied, I hate that.
Sonata Dusk: Me too.
Sonata Dusk: What is she thinking?
Me: Let's find out.
Me: Couldn't agree more on that.
Sonata Dusk: A key?
Me: Whatever it's for, it can't be good.
Sonata and I: WHAT?!
Sonata Dusk: NOOO!
Me: *my inner Homer Simpson kicking in* Why you little-!
Me: Have at them, girls!... And Spike!
Sonata Dusk: Extreme... I like it~!
Me: Now he's done it...
Sonata Dusk: Done what?
Me: Just watch...
*I feel pity for the knight as he might've been taken away at a young age, like in Nazi Germany. I then notice Sonata clinging on to me trembling*
Sonata Dusk: *notices what she's doing and lets go blushing*
Me: *look at all those traumatized by the fear and roll my eyes at both Phantom and Discord. I then notice what Angel says and does and I laugh* I like him, he's silly~
Me: There's that no good magic stealing beast!
Me: Ooooooh, burn~!
Me: Now you know how it feels being betrayed, just like when you betrayed Discord.
Discord: *annoyed* I'm right here you know!
Me: Sorry if the truth hurts!
Discord: *grumbles*
Me: Wrong Generation, Pinkie!
Me: That's just disturbing...
Sonata Dusk: And gross...
Sonata Dusk: *gasps* Who is that...?
Me: Uncle Howdy...
Me: I have no idea...
Sonata Dusk: Ooooh! Just like the fairy tales you read me~!
Me: Just watch, Sonata.
Sonata Dusk: Awwwwww....
Me: That scene still gets me~
Sonata Dusk: I'd like it to be one for me and someone I meet. *sighs dreamily*
Sonata Dusk: But how do you get back out from the roof?...
Sonata Dusk: So beautiful~
Sonata Dusk: I suppose, since she was locked in a tower since she was 7.
Me: *nods*
Sonata Dusk: Ewwwwwww!
Me: *chuckles*
Me: Hey, the more the merrier.
Sonata Dusk: *gasps* You're right!
Me: Here we go again...
Me: *sarcastically* No, you think?
Sonata Dusk: Oooh... They didn't think it through, did they?
Me: Indeed not.
Sonata Dusk: Wha...?
Me: Lewis Carroll poem, I'll share more later.
Sonata Dusk: Oh! I understand now.
Me: No kidding...
Sonata Dusk: Disturbed...
Me: *to Sonata* It's another term for a Donkey.
Sonata Dusk: Oh, ok.
Me: *with Shrek* One of a kind.
Sonata Dusk: *giggles* Poor Donkey~
Me: He's in a big predicament alright.
Sonata Dusk: Ewwwwwwww!
Me: *laughs*
Sonata Dusk: Oooooh, ouch!
Me: He's gonna feel that in the morning...
Me: Intense dude.
Me: Whew! Close one!
Sonata Dusk: But the poor dragon...
Me: Barely...
Me: Two crazy party girls... This should be interesting...
Me: Oh brother...
Me: Oh dear...
Sonata Dusk: *with Donkey* Maybe it’s a perk!
Sonata Dusk: *laughs as well*
Me: *with Shrek* Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming?
Sonata Dusk: *outraged* Pets?!
Sonata Dusk: After all the trouble they went through to get there?! Nu-uh!
Sonata Dusk: Now this is funny~
Sonata Dusk: No offense, bu after a while it gets annoying.
Me: Yeah...
Me: Uh-oh...
Meanwhile, back at Discord’s Theater
<<Previous
Scootaloo: “Is she for real?”
Sweetie Belle: (To Scootaloo) “Well, in fairy tales, lots of knights-in-shining armor would always give a kiss to wake their fair ladies.”
Diamond Tiara: (To Sweetie Belle) “But…she’s not really asleep…”
Discord: “Don’t expect mouth-to-mouth, lady.”
Discord: (Grinning) “Told you…”
Scootaloo: (Snickering to Sweetie Belle) “So much for a kiss? Huh, Sweetie?”
Sweetie Belle: (Frowning) “Well, she’s awake, at least…”
Princess Cadence: (Annoyed) “As the Princess of Love…that’s not a good first impression…”
Button Mash: “Were you expecting her to say, your princess is in another castle?” (Snickering at his own joke, while Sweetie Belle and his brother looked annoyed) “Well, it made me laugh…”
Silverstream: “Locked from the outside?”
Gabby: “Locked from the outside?!”
Diamond Tiara: “Sweet Celestia lady! You’ve been living in that tower your WHOLE LIFE?!”
Sweetie Belle: “Then how does she even get to the bathroom?”
Apple Bloom: “Or even go to eat? Or what has she even been living off of?”
Scootaloo: “I remember being grounded in my room for more than a day, by my aunts. But for her, that’s like being grounded for life!”
Ember: (Covers her ears) “Please! No more singing!”
Me: (Pictures Giselle in her place) “…Why am I having Disney’s Enchanted flashbacks?”
Gilda: “Wow! She is strong.”
Big Mac: “Eeyup.”
Ember: (Claps her claws in sarcasm) “Yeah, great.” (Fiona resumes singing) “OH, great. There’s more…”
Ember: “And the cue to STOP SINGING! Thank Ēferno!”
Tempest Shadow: “Out yonder window?” (Scoffs) “Nobody talks like that anymore.”
Trixie: (Agrees with Tempest) “Yeah! She almost sounds funnier than Princess Luna!”
Princess Luna: (Royal Canterlot Voice and Force Lightning) ”WE! HEARD! THAT!!!”
Capper Dapperpaw: “And a lot of time to rehearse her speeches, I might add. That’s commitment and dedication!”
Garble: “How about a beat poet? Not like a certain Spikey-Wikey has any respect for…”
Sweetie Belle: “Blech!”
Sassy Saddles: “Buttons and Bobbins!”
For Massager.
Write Parfaite’s reaction here.
Scootaloo: “Whatever that handkerchief was…rest in peace.”
Extra Cut
Not far behind, Wallflower Blush was running after to catch up to the group.
Extra Cut
Wallflower Blush: “But their commander, General Venrys Baratheon, got away with an important key!”
Discord’s Theater
Me: “Hmmm. Y’know, it just occurred to me. My scouter has done a lot of search and cross matches, and he doesn’t look like any Game of Thrones I’ve seen. That, and maybe Mr. E did a typo and he’s supposed to be Gendry Baratheon, but his face got messed up…”
Extra Cut
Wallflower Blush: “All to get a key that Raven had stolen!”
Ember: (Waving her arms up in exasperation) “OH COME OOOOOON!!!”
Ember accidentally sent her plate of spaghetti in the air, which Tempest Shadow anticipates, by putting Grubber in her place.
Tempest Shadow: (Smug grin) “HA!” (The spaghetti immediately changes direction and hits Tempest in the face) “…Okay. Now it’s personal.”
Discord: “Boo! GET OFF THE STAGE!”
Ember: (Rolls her eyes) “Classic dragon stereotypes. Us dragons don’t get no respect, do we?”
Smolder: (Shrugs) “Some dragons give us dragons a bad reputation.” (Norberta huffs in agreement)
Me: “Or some Donkey?”
Big Mac: “Eeyup!”
Cranky Doodle Donkey: “So now you noticed?”
Big Mac: “Nope!”
Mina: “And some of us dragons would like to keep it that way.”
Me: “Whoa. Whoever that guy was…rest in peace.”
Discord: (Grinning) “Well, better to go out with a bang. I always say.”
Button Mash: “Say what?”
Extra Cut
Wallflower Blush: “What the what?”
Gilda: “Why didn’t she just say so?”
Silver Shill: “Well…a dragon’s got to eat if she’s going to guard a princess for her entire life, or so…”
Everyone in the theater all got grossed out.
Ocellus: “UGH!”
Yona: 🤢
Grubber: “I just lost my appetite…”
Me: “I’m sure Gordon Ramsay will be giving that dragon an earful…if her fire breath doesn’t roast him first.”
Statler and Waldorf: (Laugh out loud) “DO HO HO HO H OH HO HO HO HO!!!”
Massager:
Write the guest-characters reactions here.
Big Mac: “Eeyup…”
Everyone in the audience all let out gasps of shock at such profanity.
Shining Armor: (Covers Flurry’s ears) “HEEEY!!!”
Cranky Doodle Donkey: “Now THAT’S an insult to all of us donkeys!”
Me: “Eeyup.” (Explains to the readers) “Here in Equestria, referring to a donkey the a-word is like calling a black person the n-word.”
Capper Dapperpaw: (Sarcasm) “Yeah. A one of a kind discharmer…”
Extra Cut
Without anyone even noticing, Wallflower Blush quietly followed behind Shrek, where she happens to reunite with Juniper and Medusa!Maddie.
Juniper Montage: (Sees Wallflower) “Wallflower!”
Wallflower Blush: “Juniper! Maddie!” (Hugs Juniper and Medusa) “So, what’s going on?”
Rather than answering, Juniper and Medusa were struggling to keep themselves from laughing silly, while pointing to the balcony.
And now, a moment with Muttley
This has been a moment with Muttley
And now, a word from Chris Tucker and Ice Cube
This has been a word from Chris Tucker and Ice Cube
They weren’t the only ones horrified at the cruel joke! Hundreds of Kirins have lit themselves on fire! Capper Dapperpaw just spit up a hairball! Smolder had to cover Norberta’s eyes, as well as Ocellus’s, to preserve their innocence.
A goat was screaming! The yaks jumped over the moon! Princess Celestia got scared by a chicken! It took the entire cakes at Sugarcube Corner and Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory to calm her down!
Extra Cut
Juniper Montage: “Wallflower?”
Wallflower Blush: “Yeah?”
Juniper Montage: “Did that really just happened?”
Wallflower Blush: “Yes.”
Juniper Montage: “So, Shrek really…”
Wallflower Blush: “Yes.”
Juniper Montage: “And the dragon…”
Wallflower Blush: “Yes.”
Juniper Montage: “…Let’s never speak of this again!”
Wallflower Blush: “Never speak of what again?”
Juniper Montage: “Exactly!”
Medusa: “I wasss never here.”
Extra Cut
Juniper Montage: “And that’s also our cue to get out of here!” (Turns to Wallflower and Medusa) “LET’S GO GIRLS!!!”
With that, the three girls took their leave in a separate direction from Shrek and Donkey.
Extra Cut
Waiting at the bottom of the column, waving next to a large hole in the wall, was Wallflower Blush.
Wallflower Blush: “HEY! Over here! This way!”
A lot of us boys were all cringing at Shrek’s pain.
Me: (Cringing) “Ooh! That’s smarts…”
Extra Cut
Wallflower Blush: (Runs after her friends) “Hey! Wait for me!”
Ember: “Can she please…” (Shouts at the top of her lungs) ”STOP SINGING?!!!!”
Ember: “Yeah!”
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Juniper Montage: (Running alongside the heroes) “We know a duck named Daffy!”
Gilda: “NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”
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Juniper Montage: “SPLIT UP! She can’t follow all of us!”
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And for Discord’s Equestria Girls, it was like a door chase from Scooby-Doo.
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Juniper Montage: (Sings)
There once was a dragon
So pretty and smart
She let me go free
For she had a big heart
Juniper Montage: “WHOA!” (Ducked her head to avoid the dragon’s fireball) “Everybody’s a critic…”
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Wallflower, Juniper, and Maddie: (Gasping in shock) “OH!”
Discord’s Theater
Gabby: (Crying) “Spike!”
Gabby: (Shakes her head, while clutching her chest) “Oh Spike…”
It’s “beast!”
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Wallflower Blush: (Runs after Shrek) “HEY! Wait for us!”
Wallflower and her friends raced after the ogre.
On the way, Juniper had an epiphany.
Juniper Montage: “Y’know, Maddie? Now would be a good time for you to use that petrifying look of yours!”
Medusa: (To Juniper) “I…No! I can’t! Esssspecially to a dragon! Not after everything. I can’t do it again! I jussst can’t!”
Juniper Montage: “What?!”
Deciding to ask for another time, Juniper and Medusa resumed running after Shrek and friends.
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Wallflower and her friends hadn’t reached the bridge yet, when Wallflower looked up and her eyes widened at the sight of the incoming fireball.
Wallflower Blush: “GIRLS, LOOK OUT!!!” (Wallflower shouted, shoving both Juniper and Maddie down to the floor, to avoid the fireball that scorched overhead)
Wallflower Blush’s hair was burnt to a short length, but that was the least of their problem.
The Dragon came stomping and nearly crushed them, had they not rolled to the side.
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Wallflower Blush: “NO! The bridge!”
Juniper Montage: (Sarcasm) “This is great! NOW WE’RE TRAPPED!!!”
Button Mash: “Whoa, that was close!”
Sweetie Belle: “Too close!”
Apple Bloom: “HERE COMES THE DRAGON!!”
Audience: “YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!!!”
Minuette: “Our friends got away! Woo-hoo!”
Gilda: “That’s it? No fight?”
Gallus: “What a rip…”
Discord: “I wonder how much fun my Equestria Girls are having right now?”
Sonata Dusk: (To Discord) “Equestria Girls? You mean the Rainbooms?”
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Wallflower Blush and Juniper Montage were both desperately calling out to the Equestrian Heroes for help.
Wallflower Blush: (Waving her arms) “Guys! HEY! HEY YOU GUYS!!! HELP! We’re still here! We’re trapped!”
Juniper Montage: (Shouting) “HEY! COME BACK!!!”
But it was no use. The Equestrian Heroes, Shrek, and the Ever After High just left, without looking back.
Gabby: “Aw! The poor thing is heartbroken…”
Smolder: “Well, cheer up girlfriend! I’m sure you’ll meet a nicer dragon, someday!”
Garble: “Yeah! Me!” (Gets his guts socked by Smolder) “OOF!!!”
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The Dragon was even too sad to notice Wallflower Blush and her friends’ existence nearby, and they were just as distraught to have been left behind.
Wallflower Blush: (Falls to the floor) “They left without us! We’re trapped…”
Juniper Montage: “We’re stuck here!”
Medusa: “With…that…” (Pointed up to the crying dragon)
Next>>
11518446
Actually, we made him up specifically for this story. Sorry for the confusion.
11518490
Okay. That explains his likeness to WWE wrestler to Seth Rollins.