Nighttime Talks
Later that same day, as the sun began to set over the horizon, the motley crew trekked their way back to Duloc. It had already been a tumultuous day to say the very least. From discovering that Apple and Raven’s friends were still alive, rescuing a princess, and outrunning a fire-breathing dragon… it was a miracle their sanity was still ‘partly’ intact. Currently, they found themselves wandering a dirt path through a forest. And as they walked, Apple and Raven decided it was time to extract some information from their friends.
“So, how hexactly are you guys still alive?” Raven asked.
“Honestly, we’re not really sure,” Cerise answered. “One minute, everything seemed spelltacular at Thronecoming and we’re having the time of our lives. Next thing we know, we’re dodging crossbow bolts and swords!”
“We managed to duck our way through the knights, but we were ambushed from behind,” Briar continued. “They threw bags over our heads, tied us up, and knocked us out cold. When we woke up, we found ourselves in that chamber and we’ve been trapped there ever since.”
Meanwhile, huge tears raced down Ashlynn’s porcelain face. She still remembered the events of the previous days.
“It all happened so fast…” She wept. “All our friends, our homes, and Hunter… Hunter… they’re all gone!”
The poor girl wept as the tears fell freely at the very idea of her recently lost love. Apple placed an arm around her friend in an effort to comfort her, sadly it was of no avail.
“I can’t believe this happened,” Apple sighed dejectedly. “It’s just not fair; we never even saw it coming.”
Then Maddie popped up right beside Raven, who still held her wound while stumbling about in pain.
“I have a riddle everyone wants to know,” She spoke curiously. “What the hex was that key to you, Raven?”
“I don’t know hexactly,” Raven answered. “While Apple and I were escaping, I heard two of those knights talking. One mentioned something about ‘the Rains of Castamere have fallen’ and the other said the key would ‘guarantee the future’. I used my magic to grab hold of it as we snuck by. Whatever they wanted with it, I knew it couldn’t have been good.”
As they spoke, Shrek was still carrying Fiona over his shoulder. By now, she adjusted to her new position in life. She was currently in the midst of talking with Donkey, along with the rest of the group as they pressed on for Duloc.
“Okay, so here’s another question,” Donkey told Fiona. “Say there’s a woman that digs you right, but you don’t really like her that way. How do you let her down realeasy so her feelings aren’t hurt, but you don’t get burned to a crisp and eaten? How do you do that?”
“Dude, speaking from experience, you should be lucky that a girl has feelings for you,” Spike advised. “Even if that girl in general was going to turn us all into soup.”
“Can I offer something?” Fiona requested.
“Why certainly Fiona,” Fluttershy replied. “What do you think Donkey should do?”
“You just tell her she’s not your true love,” Fiona informed Donkey. “Everyone knows what happens when you find your…”
Shrek gave Fiona a deliberate readjustment that sent her bouncing, cutting her off.
“Oof! Hey!” Fiona complained. “The sooner we get to Duloc the better.”
“And ponies tell me I’m too brutally honest,” Applejack muttered.
“Oh, yeah,” Donkey nodded. “You’re gonna love it there, Princess. It’s beautiful!”
“It is a very nice place,” Fluttershy agreed.
“Despite the maniacal munchkin running the joint,” Rainbow spoke under her breath.
“And what of my groom-to-be, Lord Farquaad?” Fiona asked. “What’s he like?”
Shrek then noticed a nearby pond. He dumped Fiona unceremoniously on the ground and made for the pond to wash up.
“Well, let me put it this way, Princess,” Shrek said jokingly. “Men of Farquaad’s stature are in shortsupply.”
“I dunno, Shrek,” Donkey chuckled. “There are those who think ‘little of him’.”
“Oh yeah, but he is a little intimidating,” Spike added.
“You got that right,” Rainbow snickered, getting in on the joke. “He is on the small side of things.”
“He is quite narrow, ah’ll say,” Applejack put in.
“And yet very good at small talk,” Twilight implied.
“What are you guys doing?” Fiona asked, annoyed.
“I hate to break it to you, darling,” Rarity began, giggling. “You just might want to lower your expectations a bit… heh-heh-heh…”
“His tiny hat definitely fits him!” Pinkie smiled, holding back a laugh.
“You could say he’s a bit undersized!” Rainbow chuckled.
“Normally, I-I really wouldn’t say anything mean, but…” Fluttershy quietly offered. “Farquaad has kind of a… miniature status.”
“Yeah, like three feet or so!” Spike concluded.
This caused all of them to break out into laughter, while Fiona looked rather irritated.
“Stop it!” Fiona demanded. “Stop it, all of you! You know, you’re just jealous you can never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad!”
Twilight nudged the princess along her side, and Fiona turned toward the pony standing before the remainder of the Equestrian heroes.
“In case you forget Fiona, ‘I’ am a princess,” Twilight pointed out. “I know a thing or two about what makes a great ruler; I’ve read plenty of books to support my hypothesis.”
“Not to mention we’ve saved our own world from calamity and peril on numerous occasions,” Rarity added.
“There was Nightmare Moon, Discord, the Bug Bear, the Ursa Minor, Sombra, the Legion of Doom…” Pinkie listed off. “And that’s just our own world. And since then, we’ve dealt with demons, monsters, cults, crazy fans—”
Twilight once more encased Pinkie in a magical noise-cancelling bubble as she continued on and on. By then, Shrek returned to the group after washing up. He, Donkey, Spike and the girls walked past Fiona and continued on their way.
“Yeah, well, maybe you’re right, Princess,” Shrek nodded.
“But we’ll let y’all do the measuring when ya see him tomorrow,” Applejack chuckled.
“Tomorrow?!” Fiona blurted in fear.
She turned back over her shoulder toward the setting sun, and all of a sudden it was as though she realized something.
“Oh my gosh, it’s almost sunset!”
“So?” Rainbow raised a brow.
“It’ll take that long? I didn’t realize it was so late; we need to make camp.”
“Hate to agree with the royal pain here, but she’s got a point,” Raven spoke up, groaning from her wound. “We really should rest up for the night; I can’t go any further with this injury.”
“Raven’s right, Shrek,” Apple agreed. “Shouldn’t we make camp for the night?”
“Camp? But you’ve just escaped!” Shrek argued.
“Yes, and I found the whole ordeal quite exhausting,” Fiona countered. “I need to rest immediately.”
“No, that’ll take longer,” Shrek retorted, pressing on. “We can keep going.”
“But there’s… robbers in the woods!” Fiona replied.
This actually caused Donkey and Fluttershy to stop in their tracks and perform a complete 180 degree turn.
“Robbers?! Where? Where?” Fluttershy asked frantically, looking around.
“Whoa! Time out, Shrek!” Donkey said worriedly. “Camp definitely is starting to sound good.”
“Hey, come on!” Shrek rolled his eyes. “I’m scarier than anything we’re going to see in this forest.”
“Besides, even if anything does come at us, I’ll give ‘em the ole ‘Rainbow Smash’ special!” Rainbow smirked, with punching gestures. “There’s nothing on this Earth that can scare me!”
Shrek turned and kept walking, until Fiona jumped in front of him, blocking his path.
“I NEED TO FIND SOMEWHERE TO CAMP RIGHT NOW!!!” She yelled.
Everyone stopped in their tracks, a slight taken aback by her outburst. They exchanged a few glances that indicated their surprise.
“Okay…” Rainbow squeaked, with a sweat drop.
<>
A short while later, as the sun was going down, the group found themselves on a hillside cliff overlooking the remainder of Duloc. Shrek was in the process of moving a giant boulder out of the way, opening the mouth of a cave. Taking a peek inside, he saw it was as clear as it could be.
“Hey!” He yelled to the group. “Over here!”
They all walked alongside him and looked inside the cave.
“A cave?” Raven raised a brow.
“Shrek, we can do better than that,” Donkey voiced his disapproval.
“Indeed!” Rarity nodded. “This place is not fit for a princess.”
“We could always just keep walking as far as we can and hope to find the next town,” Twilight suggested.
Fiona, however, was far more concerned with the approaching sunset. Each passing second she grew more urgent.
“No, no, it’s perfect!” She said nervously. “It just needs a few homey touches.”
“Homey touches?” Applejack questioned. “Like wut?”
Suddenly, Shrek, Donkey, Spike, and the girls heard a huge ripping sound. They looked up and their eyes widened as Fiona pried some bark off a nearby tree with surprising strength. The whole group watched in dumb amazement.
“A door,” Fiona answered simply.
“Whoa…” Spike gasped.
“This was the princess who needed rescuing?” Rainbow asked Applejack.
The princess looked again toward the sun. She faked a yawn to cover her urgency as she heaved the door over the cave.
“Well gentlemen, and ladies, I bid thee good night,” She said quickly.
Fiona slammed the door behind her. Shrek, Donkey, Spike and the girls looked at each other, puzzled beyond words.
“Um, you want me to come in there and read you a bedtime story?” Donkey suggested. “’Cause I will.”
“I know a really good lullaby that’ll send you right off to see Princess Luna,” Pinkie offered. “It’s only one of the most popular songs in the history of—”
“I said GOOD NIGHT!” Fiona hollered.
Everyone turned toward each other in amazement. Then, Shrek leaned over toward the boulder he previously rolled and began to push it back toward the cave.
“Shrek, what are you doing?!” They all gasped.
Shrek released a few laughs, only to notice everyone glaring at him.
“I just… you know… oh, come o—I was just kidding.”
“Yeah, sure you were,” Twilight said skeptically.
“She seemed nice…” Pinkie smiled, skipping away.
“If by nice you mean rude and ungrateful… yeah, how very generous,” Rarity sighed with frustration.
“… Good night, Princess Fiona!” Fluttershy spoke quietly.
The group proceeded to head off for their own place to make camp. Little did any of them know, as the sun completely went down, the sky glowed a shade green almost magical in quality. A voice was heard deep inside the cave.
“By day one way, by night another—this shall be the norm, until you find true love’s first kiss and then take love’s true form…”
<>
Later that night, the stars twinkled in the sky over the entire group as they made themselves comfortable on the cliff side… or at least ‘tried’ to. Shrek and Donkey laid around a campfire looking toward the star-lit night, while the Equestrians attempted to help the Ever After group construct camp. They gazed toward the sky as Shrek pointed out certain star constellations to Donkey.
“And, uh, that one, that’s Throwback, the only ogre to ever spit over three wheat fields,” Shrek explained.
“Right, yeah…” Donkey nodded. “Hey, can you tell my future from these stars?”
“The stars don’t tell the future, Donkey,” Shrek replied. “They tell stories.”
He proceeded to point out another constellation.
“Look, there’s Bloodnut the Flatulent,” He chuckled. “You can guess what he’s famous for.”
“Alright now I know you’re making this up,” Donkey said skeptically.
“I have to agree with Donkey,” Twilight nodded. “There is no way that Princess Luna would create a constellation that sounds so… distasteful.”
“No, look,” Shrek traced the constellation with his finger. “There he is, and there’s the group of hunters running away from his stench.”
“How revolting,” Rarity cringed.
“… Why do you people think those jokes are even funny?” Pinkie eyed the screen.
“Who is she talking to?” Apple asked curiously.
“Oh, just a thousand eyes staring at the screen as we progress in our wacky period of fun and shenanigans,” Maddie replied casually.
“Man, that ain’t nothin’ but a bunch of little dots,” Donkey said.
“You know, Donkey, sometimes things are more than they appear,” Shrek replied.
“That’s true,” Applejack nodded. “Like that first time we done met Zecora. We thought she was some kinda evil sorceress threatenin’ to curse us all. Turned out she’s actually one ah the kindest Zebras we ever met.”
“She’s the only zebra we’ve ever met,” Rainbow pointed out.
“In canon…” Pinkie added.
“Y’all know what ah mean,” Applejack rolled her eyes.
Shrek glanced over to see if Donkey understood him. Instead, all he received was a blank, vacant stare.
“Forget it,” Shrek muttered.
Donkey merely stretched his limbs and released a big yawn as he tried to get comfortable.
“You know what I realized?” Donkey spoke up. “If we escaped a dragon, then we could do anything. Yeah, I could be a steed. Or I could work the Crusades circuit if I wanted to. I could even be one of those horses who pull those wagons full of beer! I’d need some hair extensions on my ankles, but I could do it!”
“One of us really should tell him,” Rainbow suggested to Applejack.
“Let ‘em dream hun…” Applejack replied.
“Say Shrek, who’d you wanna be?” Pinkie asked curiously.
“I don’t wanna be anyone,” Shrek answered bluntly.
“But just for fun, who would you pick?”
“I wouldn’t.”
“But if you had to.”
“Pinkie—”
“For example, if a villain held a sword at your throat, no offense Ashlynn, and he was like, ‘Look here, you can’t be an ogre anymore, pick something else!’ thenwho would you pick?”
“I would pick that guy up and hurl him into a tree!” Shrek glared at Pinkie.
“You are no fun at all!” Pinkie pouted childishly.
“Is this what it’s gonna be like when we get our swamp?” Donkey asked.
“Our swamp?” Shrek retorted bitterly.
“You know, when we’re through rescuing the princess and all that stuff,” Donkey emphasized. “It’s just us sitting around the swamp all day doing nothing?”
“We? Donkey, there’s no ‘we’. There’s no ‘our’. There’s just me and my swamp. And when I do get back, the first thing I’m gonna do is build a ten-foot wall around my land.”
Shrek proceeded to turn his back from Donkey and Pinkie.
“You cut me deep, Shrek,” Donkey spoke up. “You cut me real deep just now.”
“You know what I think?” Pinkie realized, facing Shrek. “I’m thinking this whole wall thing’s just an excuse to keep somebody… or some ‘pony’ out.”
“No… do ya think?” Shrek asked sarcastically.
He turned away again hoping that would be the end of it. But neither Donkey nor Pinkie Pie were finished.
“Are you hidin’ something?” Donkey asked curiously.
“Never mind, Donkey,” Shrek groaned, lying on his back.
“Is this another one of those onion things?” Pinkie leaned over him.
“No, this is one of those ‘drop it and leave it alone’ things!”
“Why don’t you want to talk about it?” Donkey asked insistently.
“Why do you want to talk about it?” Shrek turned away.
“Because you wouldn’t be blocking,” Pinkie pointed out.
“I’m not blocking!”
“Oh, yes, you are!” Donkey argued.
“Donkey, I’m warning you…” Shrek threatened.
“Who you trying to keep out?”
All at once, Shrek got on his feet and towered over the chattering pair.
“Everyone! Okay?!”
“Ooh…” Pinkie and Donkey nodded.
“Now we’re getting somewhere!” Pinkie smiled, satisfied.
Unseen by either of them, Fiona peeked around the cave door. On one hand, their back-and-forth argument was disturbing her sleep. But at the same time, however, curiosity beckoned the princess to eavesdrop on what essentially was a private conversation.
“Oh! For the love of Pete!” Shrek groaned in frustration.
The ogre made his way toward the edge of the cliff and sat himself away from the group. Pinkie Pie merely bounced right alongside him with a huge smile.
“Aww, come on big guy!” She said teasingly. “No need to be such a sour puss. Let’s turn that big frown of yours into a big smile.”
Shrek merely turned toward her with the biggest glare he’d ever given. However, Pinkie wasn’t deterred at all by the glaring. Instead, her legs started shaking like there was an earthquake.
“Ooh… shaky legs!” She said excitedly. “You know what that means?”
“I don’t care!” Shrek groaned.
“It’s time for a MUSICAL NUMBER!” Pinkie yelled excitedly. “Hmm… but I can’t do this all by myself.”
She turned back toward the Ever After High students, specifically Maddie Hatter.
“Miss Maddie, wanna gimme a hoof?” She asked eagerly.
“Ooh, I love musical numbers!” Maddie clapped her hands excitedly.
She raced toward Pinkie’s side and they both smiled widely, much to the chagrin of a certain green ogre.
“We just need one more person to complete our ensemble,” Pinkie pondered. “Oh Mr. Kelly…”
She and Maddie leapt into the air and off the screen—
<>
… And when the two came back down, they were now on the set of the classic film ‘Anchors Aweigh’. Particularly, they were in the throne room scene with none other than Gene Kelly himself.
“Would you mind helping us out?” Pinkie asked.
“No problem!” Gene Kelly smiled.
“Oh goody-goody!” Maddie giggled.
Gene Kelly proceeded to showcase a few simple tap maneuvers, to which Pinkie and Maddie proceeded to follow.
For a minute or two, like a mouse with a crown, Pinkie Pie and Maddie Hatter both pulled out vaudeville hats and proceeded to get into a huge tap dancing routine with a late great performer. At first, Pinkie stumbled about and landed right on her flank. But thankfully, Gene Kelly helped her right back and they continued on. Soon all three danced in many fun and unique ways, skipping across the floor, taking leaps, the girls sliding beneath Kelly with a ‘Wee!’, and Pinkie even hoped along Gene Kelly’s muscles like a bouncy ball. The dance was so crazy that during a series of leaps, Pinkie defied gravity by hovering over the pair until Gene took notice and dragged her down.
One thing was certain, as sure as fire, together these three were constantly having fun dancing together.
“Look ma! I’m dancing!” Pinkie called out.
By the time the dancing was finished, by the time they just shook hands with the man in the sailor outfit, Pinkie and Maddie leapt right off the screen—
<>
… And they both landed back on the cliff side, striking the finishing pose with huge smiles on their faces while breathing heavily. The entire group looked at them strangely for a few moments before brushing them off and went back to what they were doing. Shrek just eyed the pair, who were waiting anxiously for some sign of approval… but just turned away to look over the edge of the cliff. The girls merely sighed with exasperation.
“Nothing…” Pinkie pouted.
“I’ll put on some tea,” Maddie offered, walking away.
“I’ll bring out the cakes!”
As Pinkie Pie and Maddie departed for the campfire, Spike decided a different approach was needed. He walked beside Shrek and took a seat next to him.
“I don’t get it, Shrek,” He voiced his confusion. “Why are you so eager to be by yourself?”
“Yeah man, what’s your problem anyway?” Donkey added. “What do you got against the whole world?”
“Look, I’m not the one with the problem, okay?!” Shrek said loudly. “It’s the world who seems to have a problem with me!”
“I don’t understand…” Spike answered, shocked.
“You don’t understand?” Shrek scoffed. “Look at me! You saw how that princess reacted. That’s how it always is. People take one look at me and it’s all, ‘AAH! HELP! RUN! A BIG STUPID UGLY OGRE!’”
Shrek sighed to himself and slumped further into a miserable state.
“They judge me before they even get to know me,” Shrek spoke somberly. “That’s why I’m better off alone.”
“Wow… I had no idea,” Spike answered quietly.
“Don’t blame ye, lad. It’s not like you could understand what I go through. Why else would I act scary? No one will give me a chance. Why bother?”
“Actually… I do.”
“Oh? How so?”
“Back when Twilight and I were still living in Canterlot,” Spike began, with a heavy sigh. “Ponies judged me… all the time. I was ‘one’ dragon, in a city full of ponies… ponies who talk. I feared the idea of making friends in other towns back home because I thought they’d all judge me before giving me a chance.”
“So, you do know what I’m going through,” Shrek nodded.
“And I’m trying to show others I can be someone they can rely on,” Spike continued. “But instead, most ponies look down at me like I’m just the sidekick no one likes. My victories may not be as amazing compared to what Twilight and the others have done, but they’re still accomplishments to me. Sometimes… I think I’m not acknowledged as much as I’d like to be, that they’d just roll their eyes whenever I bring up one of my past adventures like they don’t even care… like nothing I did mattered.”
Twilight and the girls heard word for word of what Spike said and thought back to those days. Whether Spike was aware of it or not, they felt bad for all those years of never giving Spike the same praise he rightfully deserved.
“Oh Spike…” Twilight sighed softly.
“Well, I’ve been content with being a loner my whole life,” Shrek insisted. “But at least you’re still young. One day, you’ll show everyone what kind of dragon you really are.”
“You think so?” Spike asked hopefully.
“Sure… and if they still put you down, take my advice and just ignore them. You deserve to hang with those who ‘do’ care.”
“That actually makes me feel better,” Spike smiled. “Thank you Shrek.”
“No problem.”
“You know, Shrek?” Donkey spoke up. “When we met, I didn’t think you was just a big stupid ugly ogre.”
“Neither did we,” Spike added. “In fact, you’re one of the coolest creatures I’ve ever met. We’ve got your back.”
“Thank you,” Shrek sighed.
This moment seemed to last a good while between the three guys. But the silence didn’t last long as Donkey decided to press the issue.
“So… there’s really no one else you’d rather be?” Donkey asked Shrek.
Shrek remained silent for a while, instead thinking on his own. Throughout his entire life, he’d always chase people off his land so he could spend his days alone. And yet… that never meant he didn’t have dreams like everyone else. And much to his own surprise, he began to relate his greatest dream through song.
Donkey and Spike looked up at their friend, as six eyes gazed toward the glittering stars and the great big moon in the night sky. With only the light of the moon piercing through some cracks of the wooden door, it barely touches the silhouette of Princess Fiona. She had been listening all that time, every word… and she felt terrible for herself, for the way she acted.
And once the song was finished, whether anyone else even heard or not, the four guys just sat upon the edge of the cliff looking up toward the evening sky.
“So uh, are there any donkeys up there?” Donkey asked.
“Well, there’s, um, Gabby, the Small… and annoying,” Shrek remarked.
“Okay, okay, I see it now…” Donkey pretended to see. “Yeah, the big shiny one, right there. That one there?”
“Donkey… that’s the moon,” Spike pointed out.
“Oh… oh, okay.”
As they admired the stars in the sky, Spike began to reflect on his own dream:
‘Wouldn’t it be nice to be the hero who saves the day?’ He thought to himself. ‘Nah, who am I kidding? I’m still… me. What can I do that Twilight and the others haven’t done already? Or can do? What can I… oh, never mind…’
And from the wooded area just near the cliff, Uncle Howdy’s dark figure watched from the cover of the brush. Alongside the dark entity were a few ghastly figures. One was a man in a leather jacket, another of a woman in a dark robe, and finally a made with a wide-eyed crazy look on his face. Uncle Howdy merely gave a quiet chuckle as he stared toward the ponies and the Ever After girls.
“Ain’t no one going to hurt you… except me.”
<>
Meanwhile, back in Duloc, Lord Farquaad… was taking a bath in his quarters and wore his favorite ducky gloves. Already he was having dreams of meeting his lady faire.
“’Princess Fiona? I am Lord Farquaad’… what do you think?” He asked his ‘ducks’. “No, you’re right, too formal. ‘Fiona? Hi, Farquaad, but you can call me Maximus, as I’ve no doubt you will! Woof!’… no, too smutty…
“But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is Fiona and Farquaad is the sun…”
It was then Thelonious arrived with his lord’s drink, as per requested.
“We’ve just gotten word, my liege: Princess Fiona has been rescued. She’s on her way.”
To say Farquaad was pleased with the news was an understatement. So pleased in fact, he sang:
“On her way! She’s on her way and so am I~! Ah… my fairytale princess, ha-ha-ha! I always said I’d be king and now look: the last adorable piece to my master plan! Though I wonder if that oaf Tirek actually managed to beat those good-for-nothing… yet ‘adorable’ ponies… ah well—thank you, Thelonious!”
Farquaad gladly took a sip from the straw, savoring the beverage.
“Pina Colada!” He sighed happily.
Ever since his selection of Princess Fiona, Farquaad developed a hankering for Pina Colada; that, and the song was admittedly catchy.
“Ah, just think… soon, they’ll be writing be writing books about me instead of those… disgusting little freaks. Oh, that reminds me! Oh, Mirror!”
Farquaad had the Magic Mirror moved to his room, which was shared with his bathroom, so as for it to be more convenient.
“Yeeeees, my liege?”
What the Mirror didn’t expect, to his horror, was to be called during Farquaad’s… bath time.
“How are the wedding preparations coming?” Farquaad asked.
“All in order, my lord,” The mirror answered. “We’ve booked the cathedral and the band…”
But Farquaad was barely paying much attention. He giggled like a schoolboy as Thelonious proceeded to scrub his tiny little feet. The Mirror was simply at a loss for words at the very sight before him.
“Wow. Um… although I did wonder if you wanted me to invite your father.”
The room went silent, so deathly still one could hear a pin drop.
“My what?” Farquaad spoke.
“Well, your… your father, my liege,” The Mirror repeated.
Thelonious, knowing what would happen, promptly vacated the premises. All the while, Farquaad could grow some mixed emotions stirring in his tiny frame. A mixture of anger… and tragedy.
“You mean that horrible little man who tried to keep me down my whole life?” Farquaad spoke. “That mal-tempered monster and vile grunt who abandoned me in the woods as a child?”
“Well, he did have his reasons,” Mirror responded.
But Farquaad was having none of it, despite the Mirror’s best effort to reason with him.
“Mirror, please. My father couldn’t accept that I wanted nothing to do with the family business.”
Outraged over the fact Farquaad wasn’t listening, Mirror promptly vanished from his portrait in a huff.
“That lowly, dirty family business…” Farquaad seethed. “Oh, Mirror!”
“Annnnything else, my liege?” The Mirror asked annoyed.
“I want you to be placed at the end of my bed when I get out of the tub. I wish to gaze upon my future bride before I sleep.”
And Mirror once again vanished in disgust, while several guards arrived to position the mirror in his bedroom. Farquaad sat in his tub pondering over his future, yet also thinking back to his youth… the point where his own legacy began.
“Oh, you abandoned me in the woods, Daddy!” Farquaad spoke. “Well, I crawled out, and up! Oh if you could only see me now, Daddy! I’d invite you to the wedding… but you have to be THIS tall to get in! Ha-ha-ha! TO THE RACES MEN!”
And just like that, Thelonious returned with an ensemble of knights. They proceeded to dress their Lord and master, decking him out in his robe with shoes. Once ‘partly’ presentable, Farquaad performs an insane tiny leg dance along with his lackeys.
<>
Later, Queen Cersei decided to check upon Lord Farquaad without his prior knowledge. Opening the door by a mere few inches, she spied upon the tiny lord who currently laid in be within his quarters, sipping his drink. In his chambers already stood two mannequins with a suit for himself and a wedding dress for Princess Fiona. There were plenty of other ‘his and hers’ items as well, along with a bear skin rug that just so happened to be… Mama Bear.
Wow… that’s just wrong.
On so many levels.
As Farquaad laid in bed, as requested, the Magic Mirror was set up before him.
“Again!” He demanded. “Show me again.”
Cersei could hardly tell from her position, but she could sense some confusion from the mirror over the tiny lord’s request.
“Mirror, mirror, show her to me,” Farquaad explained. “Show me the princess.”
The Magic Mirror merely gave a disgruntled face before bringing up the picture of Princess Fiona once more. Farquaad took a sip of his drink as he smiled in satisfaction.
“Ah, perfect,” He sighed.
Queen Cersei merely rolled her eyes with a scoff, having seen more than enough. Deciding she had more important matters to attend to, she proceeded to leave Farquaad to his ‘business’ and make way for her own.
<>
In another part of the castle, Cersei entered a chamber where Regina was using her own Magic Mirror to spy upon the Equestrian heroes and their new Ever After counterparts. Cersei too could see they were only a day’s travel from Duloc, give or take any delays they decide to make. Cersei took her seat at a chair and picked up a chalice of wine with her right hand as Regina eyed the mirror intently.
“Look at them,” Regina said in disgust. “It’s sickening how sweet they all are. Sickly sweet and pretentious.”
“Worry not,” Cersei assured, taking a sip. “We’ll be rid of them all soon enough.”
Regina rolled her eyes and waved her hand, causing the mirror to go dark.
“What makes you so sure?” She asked. “That big red idiot already messed this whole thing up!”
No sooner were those words spoken that the chamber door burst open. Tirek and their knights made their way inside. Many of the knights had their armor burnt, while Tirek had bruises all over his face.
“Speak of the devil,” Regina sighed. “What the hell happened to all of you?!”
Tirek growled as he turned toward Cersei.
“Your general abandoned us all and some dark figure drugged us!” He growled. “By the time we came to, those stupid ponies had fled. And just as we were about to make our own way out, we were attacked by that dragon! Thankfully, I was able to absorb a great deal of its power before we escaped. I’d like to see it breathe fire now.”
A laugh caused the large centaur to turn his head and he caught Venrys Baratheon walking into the room.
“Even with a whole army at your back, you still can’t get the job done,” He mocked.
“No thanks to you, coward!” Tirek growled.
“ENOUGH!” Cersei interrupted loudly. “Venrys, did you find what you were sent for?”
Venrys reached into his armor and procured the key before handing it to his Queen. Cersei took the key and examined it with a small smile on her face.
“Excellent!” She nodded approvingly. “With this, we shall secure victory for the Order.”
“What about the brats and those ponies?” Regina asked. “As long as they remain alive, our plans are still at risk.”
Cersei merely turned to her companion with a knowing look.
“It’s all a matter of leverage,” She stated simply.
One snap of her fingers was all Venrys needed to make his way from the chamber. Moments later, he returned dragging something with him. It turned out to be another figure bound in chains, a burlap sack over their head. The figure struggled hard but were unable to free themselves of their bonds. Cersei merely looked at the figure with a smirk while Regina rolled her eyes.
“As if keeping four girls alive wasn’t enough, you take another one?!” She sighed.
“Oh, but this one is special,” Cersei informed her. “You see, once those girls see exactly who it is, they’ll do far more than give up a key. They’ll give up their very lives.”
“You overestimate your persuasion,” Regina scoffed.
“And you underestimate what people will do for those they love,” Cersei retorted. “When it comes to matters of the heart, people always do crazy things… desperate crazy things…”
Stats
Page generated in 0.057 seconds
Total duration
1,016 users online
1,520,125 hits today, 2,073,628 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Just read this whole chapter, and I gotta say: this was awesome. And that little sequence with Gene Kelly was pretty funny.
Still one of the most well known and funniest moments in the Shrek series
11521573
Oh definitely, Pinkie and Maddie really do make a great pair
😳……….I don’t think I like where this is going…..😰
a true bonding experience!
The scene where Shrek confessed of how folks judged him before they knew him.
I know what that's like more than anything.
Oh, now why wasn't that referenced in the 2021 Tom & Jerry film?
I have developed an ear worm for the latest song of Super Mario from the Every Day’s a Mario Day trailer.
Me: (Singing)
Let’s make it a Mario Day!
Cause every day is a Mario Day
Throwing Cappy
C’mon let’s play
Make it a—
Mina: (Shouting at me) ”DOCTOR!!!”
Me: (Startled) “WHOAAAAAA!!!” (I fell out of my bed, with Mina taking the headphones off my ears) “Mina? What’re you doing here? It’s a Saturday!”
Mina: “No time for that, Dr. PhD! There’s a new chapter in the latest Cinematic Adventure! You got to write another commentary, or Mr. E will fire you…into a black hole, from which you will never escape, or return!”
Me: “No. He wouldn’t do that! Would he?”
Mina: “You remember what he did to the last guy? And that was only after being absent for a month or two!”
Me: “How could anyone forget?” (Paranoia fuel kicks in) “Okay. I’m up! But first, get me a cup of coffee!”
11521573
11521594
11521589
11521584
Discord's Theatre, Galaxy Branch
Luke Skywalker: I am glad to see that everyone is alright.
Postwar: Yeah, those girls have been through enough.
Sunset Shimmer: I just hope Raven would recover after getting shot there. *instinctively rubs at the spot where the Emperor jabbed his lightsaber into*
Lando Calrissian: Such is the tragedy of every world before they are invaded.
Cal Kestis: At least they are still alive. For as long as they have each other, they can overcome a few obstacles.
Postwar: I see both of your masters have taught you well.
Cal Kestis: They did. I miss them a lot.
Ahsoka Tano: What's so important about that key?
Sunset Shimmer: *looks at Postwar* Do you know?
Postwar: Afraid not. My associates and I are looking into it. One of our administrators deduced that he recognized the key, but we needed to make sure what the Order was looking for could be important.
Postwar: Says the dragon who lived in a fantasy that Rarity would fall in love with him, and that it was never going to happen. *gets a surprised look from the others, minus Sunset*
Lando Calrissian: Wait. You're telling us that he...had a thing for Rarity?
Sunset Shimmer: He does. *giggles*, you should've seen how completely gaga he went for my Rarity back at CHS. And no matter what happened, he still felt smitten over her.
Ahsoka Tano: *giggled* Wish I could've seen that.
Postwar: Oh, you could've...if you and Cal had bothered to help them rather than hide by doing nothing. *gets a glare from the latter*
Galen Marek: You know, he does have a point. The girls, and eventually me, did all the work with Luke and the others whilst you two did nothing.
Postwar: And sometimes not too bright when it came to fixing problems. Both she and her counterpart.
Sunset Shimmer: What's that supposed to mean?
Postwar: *looks with sarcasm on his face* Do I really need to bring up Anon-a-miss? *makes her flinch* And what that Applejack did. *shows her a list of what the Applejack from Equestria did, which surprised her*
Han Solo: What's this about Anon-a-miss?
Postwar: Long story.
Postwar: *rolls his eyes* Oh boy, here we go.
Ben Solo: What?
Postwar: The short jokes.
Half of them laughed, whilst the other half deadpanned:
Leia Organa: I see what you mean.
Ahsoka Tano: And one shouldn't underestimate one's size.
Postwar: Like Master Yoda.
Ahsoka Tano: Exactly.
Postwar: And yet you didn't read a hypothesis that stealing another artifact from another kingdom could've caused another war with the one you currently had?
Leia Organa: She did?
Sunset Shimmer: She did. But in her defense she was desperate.
Postwar: That may be, but a true ruler is supposed to have discipline, restraint, learn to trust her subjects and believing that diplomatic protocol would succeed. They don't go around stabbing their friends in the back by lying to them and using them to steal another artifact from another kingdom without permission, just because they didn't have the balls to be patient enough to see things through.
Luke Skywalker: I'm afraid he does have a point. One must not let desperation get in the way of rationality and common sense.
Cal Kestis: Is there something wrong?
Postwar: Oh, I know, but I'm not allowed to say anything.
Sunset Shimmer: *confused look* Why not?
Postwar: Sworn into secrecy. *The others then understood, given the group he's working with*
Han Solo: And people thought you were bossy. *gets slapped behind the head by Leia*
Galen Marek: Sunset can be like that too. *Gets slapped behind the head by Sunset*
Postwar: *Keeps in laughter, but then gets slapped by Leia and Sunset* What?!! I didn't say anything!!!
Postwar: Oh, trust me. She has her reasons. Again, not gonna say anything.
Sunset Shimmer: I wonder what that could be though?
Postwar: Like you're one to talk, Rarity.
Lando Calrissian: What did she do that was so bad?
Postwar: Well...*one complicated recap later*...and that's what happened *Sunset nodded in agreement, with the others surprised*
Ahsoka Tano: Wow, that was very selfish of her.
Lando Calrissian: And it was also her fault for giving away her designs.
Postwar: Clearly you don't know Luna as well as you think you do.
Sunset Shimmer: True, she can be quite the jokester.
Postwar: There's a lot of that going around.
All: Tell me about it.
Postwar: Not everybody's a fun boat like you are Pinkie. That and the fact she doesn't take things seriously?
Sunset Shimmer: Why would you think that?
Postwar: Because, ninety percent of the time, she never takes things seriously, and she's a little miss "I wanna throw a party before my feces would get hurt."
Postwar shakes his head, knowing where this was going. He quietly sneaks out, opens a portal and leaves.
Ahsoka Tano: Wow, he's right, she never takes things seriously.
Sunset Shimmer: It's just Pinkie being Pinke. Trust me.
Galen Marek: I know she likes to make people smile, but she really needs to learn to dial it back for a bit.
Han Solo: Remind me again why they're friends with her?
Sunset Shimmer: I would say fate, but even I'm sometimes not so sure.
Sunset Shimmer: I...felt that way once. But that was a long time ago.
Galen Marek: So did a lot of us.
Cal Kestis: Nice to know those guys have each other's backs.
Postwar came back and sat back down.
Sunset Shimmer: Where have you been?
Postwar: I'll tell you later. *See deleted scene soon*
Leia Organa: Somebody has issues.
Postwar: Don't we all?
Sunset Shimmer: No argument there.
Postwar: I would say the whole "No honor among thieves" bit, but for them, they deserved it.
All: Agreed.
Ahsoka Tano: Who else could they have taken?
Cal Kestis: I have a feeling we'll find out soon.
Postwar: Like a certain Princess...
Sunset Shimmer: Would you just let that go already.
Deleted scene
Original script.
11521644
11521574
Deleted scene: Back at the group
Donkey: You know, Shrek. When we met, I didn’t think you was just a big stupid ugly ogre.
Spike: Neither did we. In fact, you’re one of the coolest creatures I’ve ever met. We’ve got your back.”
Shrek: Thank you.
Postwar: That goes doubled from me.
Everyone looked to their left and saw a hooded figure coming, whilst taking his hood off, to which some recognized.
Pinkie Pie: Oh hey Postwar.
Apple: You know him?
Rarity: Indeed. We met him a while back after we rescued Sunset.
Raven: So what are you doing here?
Postwar: To be with a fellow misfit like me for the night.
Shrek: Excuse me?
Postwar: Put it this way, big guy...you're not the only one who was treated like an outcast.
Everyone was surprised by this, even Shrek was a little surprised as he sat down next to the guy.
Postwar: When I was little, growing up over the years, I was treated like an outcast by everyone. Kindergarten, Middle School, High School, my job before I joined CA. Everyone took one good look at me, and didn't want to get to know me. Made fun of me, pointing fingers at me and...said I was a freak. Growing up, I was also an outsider, a nobody who grew up on the wrong neighborhood. Got beaten up every day, twice on Sundays.
Everyone was surprised by this, even Shrek as he looked at him with interest.
Shrek: Really? A human like you, being treated like an outcast?
Postwar: And I didn't even do anything to them. I never felt so much loneliness in all my life. And my father wasn't of any help either.
They were surprised by this:
Postwar: You see, when I was little, I looked up to him all my life and suddenly, from out of nowhere, for no reason, he treated me like garbage. I tried to do what he wanted for ten years. Ten. Stinking. Years. And no matter how hard I tried, he made it unbearingly hard for me and everyone else, and he also had the gall to think that half the things he went through was my fault? Talk about being a jerk. Cause the only thing he ever gave me was a broken heart, and a prescription grade of major parental issues.
Everyone else also came closer as they wanted to know.
Raven: So...how did you end up being with the...group you're working with?
Postwar sighed as he told them:
Postwar: By the time I graduated, I wanted to get away from my father so badly for what he put me through. But one day, there was a contest that allows you to write your own stories, but what they didn’t know, is that we would end up creating a new world without us even realizing it. I entered and submitted my story. Before I knew it, I was approached by two of the Order’s leaders, Knighty and Xaquseg, and they liked what I did, so they invited me to join them, and soon under the apprenticeship of the Cinematic Adventures group. And before they could ask anything else I took the job without a second thought.
They were surprised to hear this, with Shrek also surprised:
Shrek: You ran away.
Postwar sighed and nodded whilst looking at the starry horizon:
Postwar: But in doing so, I ended up leaving other people behind. Three friends of mine, my mom, my sister, my brother in law, and…my nephew.
All: Your nephew?
Postwar took a picture out and showed it to her, surprising her when she saw what his brother-in-law, his sister and nephew looked like, the day he was born:
Postwar: His name was Joshua. My brother-in-law was able to track me down and gave me the pictures to remember them by. He understood why I left, because he went through the same struggles that I did.
He placed the picture away as he had a saddened look:
Postwar: But about many months later, whilst I watched over a few worlds, I got word that the Benefactor attacked and destroyed my home.
They were shocked to hear this:
Postwar: I lost everything. My home, my parents, my friends, my sister, my brother-in-law, even Joshua.
He nearly began to shed tears as he tried not to cry:
Postwar: And the worst part…it was on his first birthday that day.
Now everyone was shocked, but not as shocked as Pinkie was:
Postwar: Not a day goes by, that I don’t wish, I could’ve visited them, told them that I was sorry that I left, that I wanted to get to spend more time with them, cherished every moment that I had.
Postwar looked down and gripped his hands together:
Postwar: I let my anger towards my father and the people of my world keep me away from my home and made the privilege of knowing my nephew and spending time with my family and friends slipped away because…I was a stubborn SOB.
Postwar looks at Shrek:
Postwar: Believe me when I say this Shrek, you're not the only one who had been treated like an outcast.
Everyone was surprised to hear what he went through, with both Apple and Raven giving him a hug on both sides:
Apple: We're so sorry.
Postwar then looked at Shrek:
Postwar: So believe me when I say this, big guy. I know what it's like to be treated like an outcast, wishing things had been different. But you don't have to feel that way anymore. There are people out there who feel the same way you do. So whether a misunderstood outcasted human, or a strong misunderstood ogre, folks like us need to stick together.
Shrek couldn't help but smile for some reason. Postwar offered him a fistbump, to which the Ogre returned.
Postwar: Anyway, that's all I came here to do. *Postwar stands up and opens a portal. Before he walked through it, he looked back at Shrek* Believe me Shrek. You're not the only victim from society here.
Postwar walks through as the others stared at him off. Shrek then proceeded looking back, with Donkey and Spike looking at the stars whilst the others went to turn in for the night.
If one remembers the story in the prologue, one will know that Fiona has a problem that becomes very visible at night, hence why she prefers to camp. But the important thing is the campfire scene. One would expect the typical comedic scene, but we are presented with the opening of the character and why he is so grumpy and lonely: he is sick of being judged without even knowing him, and they have done that his whole life. That's why he was so confused when Donkey and the others weren't afraid of him. It's a shame that Shrek's song wasn't in the movie, because you can see that his idea of his ideal swamp is not what he wants, but what he thinks is the most he can have. He also wants to be a hero and have a family (And although he hasn't realized it, he now has it, in a way).
I understand Spike has a minor character complex, but it's not fair for him to take credit for what he does. On more than one occasion, both in the series and in these adventures, he was a key character for success. Something tells me those shadowy figures on the hill are going to try to take advantage of that... unless Twilight has a heart-to-heart with him.
But they are not the only ones spying on them. There's Fiona, who seems to realize that she really has been a nasty and ungrateful child (okay, being alone and locked in a tower changes one's character, but it's no excuse); and from the way she looks at them, it looks like she's going to want to change that. I'm sure she's going to surprise you, in more ways than one. (I hope that if someone in the group hears her sing, that she isn't Fluttershy, because if that happens...).
On the other hand, Regina and Cersei still have a plan in mind, and that last sentence gave me the creeps. These two seem more dangerous than Farquaad himself. Speaking of the devil, here we see where his hatred of fairy tale creatures comes from: his parents were the Grumpy dwarf and the princess from "The Princess and the Pea"; and his father, who abandoned him (I don't know if he will resent his mother for giving up being queen out of love, but it's a possibility). However, whoever has seen the musical, (and if Grumpy does show up at the wedding at the end) will understand why , and all sympathy will be replaced by hate.
Very funny group jokes about Farquaad's height. I hope the dragon is okay.
Fiona sure was being very needy here even for a Princess. And now Donkey and Spike know just the kind of problems Shrek has that he never told anyone about. And amazing Farquaad had issues with his old man that the movie never made known
Amazing Chapter!!
Not the longest chapter ever put together (Unless you add those lengthy song lyrics which 'unfortunately' we can't do on here), but still we get to learn about our castmates as we make our way to the climax of our tale. A princess who comes off as needy but is starting to see she wasn't being so nice to the group who risked their necks for her, an ogre initially hesitant to open up about his problems but able to do so with a little help from a friend, and a villain who has a few issues that would suggest 'why' he is the way as he is. A pretty fun chapter to put together, even a few surprises in between. Overall, a satisfying job that took till midnight to edit.
I like how my quote for Spike understanding Shrek was used, I was happy to see that.
Like the general interactions with the Shrek cast. I've never seen Ever After High, but I'm getting a general feel of what it's like. So when Pinkie is going over past adventures I'm curious what the looney fan part is referring to? Einhorn? Demons likely refers the Conjuring verse, monsters from Scooby-Doo stuff, and the cults Is no doubt the Seeds.
cool chapter mate keep it up cant wait for the next chapter
11521659
11521645
Meanwhile, back at Discord’s Theater
Me: (Sarcasm) "It's a miracle that some of us still have our sanity intact, here at Discord's Theater. But you don't see us complaining." (Mina pulls up a long-list of complaints, regarding Discord's Theater) "Sarcasm, Mina. Sarcasm."
Apple Bloom: "I'm more than interested to know what the story is with those girls as well!"
Braeburn: "So do I!"
Little Strongheart: (On behalf of herself and her fellow bisons) "So do we!"
Big Mac: "Eeyup!"
Sweetie Belle: "How awful!"
Princess Luna: "Truly despicable!"
Granny Smith: (Waves her hoof in the air) "First chance I get, I'd like to give one of them hoodlums the what for!"
Big Mac: (Agreeing with Granny Smith) "Eeyup!"
Grand Pear: (To Granny Smith) "Got room for one more?" (Cracks his hooves together)
Princess Celestia, in her seat, held a hoof over her heart, where her late husband – Cosmic Galaxy. On the topic of lost love, Princess Celestia knows the pain all two too well.
Discord: (To me) "Two?"
Me: (To Discord) "Yeah. Two, Discord. Cosmic Galaxy is one. And Good!King Sombra from the alternate universe is another."
Discord: (To me) "And what of me? Am I NOT as eligible enough for Tia?"
Me: (To Discord) "Discord...ships do not count as past relationships. Besides, the Dislestia Ship sank about ten years ago, when everyone started shipping you with Fluttershy together. And don't even bother denying it!"
Discord: (To me) "Hmph! How would you know about true love, Mr. I-Got-Shot-Out-Of-A-Volcano-For-Impregnating-My-Kirin-Waifu!"
Me: "Don't push it." (Shedding a tear at the thought of Rain Shine) "Rain Shine..."
Me: "Yeah. Because if my scouter is correct, that key happens to be the property of the Ministry of Magic, specifically for the Department of Mysteries."
Ocellus: (To me) "Uh...the Department of Mysteries?"
Sandbar: (To me) "Ministry of Magic?"
Smolder: (To me) "Scouter?"
Norberta: *Tries to repeat what her mom was saying*
Me: (To the Student Six) "Much like how the Wizarding World has its own schools, they've also got their own governments as well. And the British Ministry of Magic in London is one of them."
Gallus: (To me) "So we figured. But then, what is this Department of Mysteries? Like what's in it?"
Me: (To Gallus) "How should I know? I don't even work in there! And from what I've heard, wizards and witches who work in there are instructed to never speak of what goes on inside. They're very hush-hush about it. That's why it's called the Department of Mysteries."
Silverstream: "Ooh! A very big mystery!"
Sandbar: "So...if it's all meant to be a secret, and...if the bad guys have the key that grants them access to the department. Then, that means..."
Me: "Someone who works in the Ministry of Magic, or even knows about the Department, is working with the Dark Order! And they're up to no good!"
Not too far away, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Princess Cadence, Starswirl the Bearded, and Shining Armor were all in on my conversation with the Student Six. The higher-ups all exchanged looks and nodded in agreement. They need to alert Dumbledore about this shocking discovery and fast.
Me: "Question is: How did it wind up with the knights?"
Gallus: "Or even who did they get it from? It couldn't have just fallen out of someone's hand and into their pockets."
Big Mac: "Nope."
Me: "Rain of Castamere? Where have I heard that before?" (To Silver Shill and Mina) "Silver! Mina! You two host for the time being. I gotta go and investigate." (I left the theater room to my office)
Mina: "So not Red Rubies. Worst case scenario, she might've taken you down a basement, gut you like a pig, and then bake your remains into cupcakes."
The surrounding audience all looked at Mina, disturbed at her descriptive and graphic scene of a horror genre.
Mina: (She looked up at the awkward glances) "Too dark?"
Random Dude: "She so asked for that."
Big Mac: "Eeyup."
Lily Lace, Starstreak, and Inky Rose: "SHE THINKS?!" See Season 7 Episode Honest Apple.
Big Mac: "Eeyup."
Ember: "One of these days, I'm so going to this Emerald City Spike had been telling me about, and I'm going eat so much of it, that they'll have to roll me around!"
Garble: (To Ember) "Oh yeah? Well, first chance I get, I'M going to get me some golden yellow bricks with my name on them!"
Gilda: (To Ember and Garble) "Hey! Who says dragons are going to the Land of Oz? Us griffons have a beak for gold, y'know!"
The dragons and griffon exchange lightning between their eyes, like in anime.
Capper Dapperpaw: "Want my advice? Don't ask."
Gilda can't help but snicker a little from the bad joke.
By now, even the dragons and yaks were chuckling.
Lightning Dust: "Ha! Yeah. He's about as short fuse than Short Fuse!" (Laughs out loud with her teammates, while Short Fuse was a little miffed. Pun intended)
Even Angel Bunny, some other animals about his size, the Breezies, including Seabreeze, couldn't help but laugh a little.
Big Mac: (Struggling to keep himself from falling apart) "E-E-E-Eeyup!" (Chuckles with Sugar Belle)
Flurry Heart: (Imitates a rimshot) "Ba-dum BAH!"
Nearby, Lil'Cheese was playing a drumbeat, with his dad, Cheese Sandwich.
*Rim Shot SFX*
Jet Set: (Laughs out loud, next to his annoyed wife, Upper Crust) "HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! HA AHA HA HA HA HA!!! Lower your expectations, she said. HA HA HA!"
Bulk Biceps: "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"
Big Mac: "Eeyup!"
Discord: "Well, it's no surprise. Little people have no sense of humor at all!" (Explains to the readers) "I said that during my song with Peeves!" See Cinematic Adventures: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.
Discord: "Ooh! Fluttershy, I never knew you could be this cruel~"
Unable to take it anymore, the audience laughs out loud with their heroes.
Lightning Dust: "Hehehe! I gotta hand it to Rainbow Dash. As childish as these jokes are, they suit Farquaad's butt well! Ha ha."
Gilda: "Ha ha! The jokes were okay. Could've been better. But they're so bad they make me laugh."
Gallus: "I'm about to bust a gust, so...we better cut it out!"
Cheese Sandwich: "We don't have to measure up to Lord Farquaad. We can hardly measure down!"
Ignites more laughters from the audience.
Discord: "At least, I DIDN'T go ax-crazy over an edited video for more than four years! Not mentioning names. Sunset Shimmer."
Sonata Dusk looked rather confused.
Sonata Dusk: (To Hunter and shadow) "Uh...for the record, I think I take the full blame for what we did to Sunset. So...Why is Discord blaming her?"
Silverstream: "It's beautiful! Isn't it?" (Snuggles up close to Gallus) "Kinda like that dinner we had at the beach of Mt. Aris. Huh, Gallus?"
Gallus: "What sunset? I've had my eyes on you the whole time." (Wraps his wings around Silverstream to pull her close)
Capper Dapperpaw: "If I were a robber, then my first place to hide is in plain sight." (Whispers to his cat friends) "The ol' cat burglar still got it." (Winks)
"Mother..."
Gilda: (Sarcasm) "The ol' Rainbow Smash special, huh?"
Discord: "I hope my Equestria Girls are having a good time than our friends are..."
Extra Cut
Meanwhile, back at the Dragon's Keep, Juniper was breaking down a bad case of what we call..."cabin fever."
Juniper Montage: (Panicking) "We have to get out of here! We gotta use something here to get someone to notice us!"
Juniper Montage picked up some of the rotting woods, lying around the castle, and tried to put together a bonfire. Or at least, something to send smoke signals.
Watching from her side, at the girl's frantic attempts to call for help, or figuring out ways to get off the Dragon's Keep, Medusa shook her head. She looked over, seeing Wallflower Blush, sitting behind a pillar, huddling herself up into a ball.
Deciding to kill some times by talking with the Slytherin girl, than watching the frantic Ravenclaw, the cursed gorgon slithered over to Wallflower. The snake-haired snake-woman followed Wallflower's gaze, towards the dragon.
Medusa: "SSSSShe musssst really misssss that donkey."
Wallflower Blush: (Nods her head) "Yeah. It must really hurt...to have someone you love to...run out on you. I kinda know that feels..."
Medusa: (Looks to Wallflower) "Really? What wasssss he like? Wassss he jusssst assss talkative as the donkey?"
Wallflower Blush: "Oh, no. It's not a guy. But she is....she's my friend. I mean, at first, I used to hate her, because she was such a bully. But...then she started making friends, and...they changed her. She's like a totally different person and...She and I became friends. I thought it would last a lifetime...but I was wrong...'Cause next thing I know...she was gone." (Wipes some tears from her eyes) "And...I've never got to tell her how much I...how much she meant to me..."
Medusa: "...Thissss friend of yourssss. Issss she like a sssssisssster to you?"
Wallflower Blush: "More or less..."
Medusa: "...Issss she ssssstill alive?"
Wallflower Blush: "Yeah. She's alive, alright. She's living her life, so...it's not my place to...take it away from her. Right?" (Forces a smile to hide a guilt she harbors from the special: Forgotten Friendship) "She's found someone. They're...living their lives, and..."
Medusa: "And what about you? You're not happy about it?"
Wallflower Blush: "Don't get me wrong. I'm happy for her. Them. Even though it hurts. I mean, the last time we had the chance to catch up, it's been like...a year ago! And we haven't talked to her in a long time. And no matter how much it hurts me, I want her to live her life to the fullest!" (Sniffles and cries her tears)
Medusa: "...Well, it'ssss nicccce that your friend issss sssstill alive..." (Fidgets with the tip of her tail) "Can I tell you ssssomething?" (Wallflower Blush nodded, letting Medusa speak) "I wasssssn't alwaysssss thisssss hideoussss gorgon to begin with. Once, I usssssed to be an ordinary human girl. Jussssst like you are. I had a family. My father issss the primordial sea god, Phorcyssss, and my mother isssss the primordial sea godesss, Ceto. My sssssiblings are all...different creatures...beings of abnormality, yet I wassss the only one born human."
Wallflower Blush: (Intrigued) "Really? So...what was it like...to have a family full of...to be a black sheep of the family?"
Medusa: "They were all niccccce to me. My sssssisssssterssss, Sssstheno and Euryale, have looked after me. I didn't understand why they would trouble themsssselvessss, over sssssomeone as ordinary assss me. But I didn't assssk. I jusssst welcomed it...they were my home and my family. They even encouraged me to accccept a job asss a priesssstesss of the goddess, Athena."
Wallflower Blush: "So then, what happened?"
Medusa: "...In the human sssssocccciety, I wasss famed for my beauty. I wassss approached by hundredsss of men. I enjoyed all the attention. Maybe too much, becaussse I shirked off my ressssponsssibilitiessss to Athena. SSSSSo sssshe thought it would be fitting if my human beauty wassss taken away and I became assss hideoussss and...monstroussss assss my family. And I became thisssss."
Wallflower Blush: "Omigosh! That sounds awful!"
Medusa: "You don't know the half of it. Back then, I couldn't control my powerssss. Everywhere I go, people were all turned to ssssstone, from jussssst one look from me. At firssssst, I felt thrilled, being feared than being loved. That issss...until I...accidentally turned on my ssssissssterssss. My beloved ssssssissssterssss. I wasssss helplesss. Powerlesssss to undo my terrible misssstake. I can turn any living creatures into ssssstonessss. But I can't undo it. And my sssssisssstersss are trapped forever as sssstatuesss, frozen in time... And from that moment, I swore to never ussssse thissss cursssse of mine to take away anymore lives, again..."
Wallflower Blush: "So that's why you didn't turn the dragon into stone!"
???: "Aw! How tragic...
Wallflower and Medusa both looked up, startled to see Tirek, standing before them, with some of his knights.
Next>>
11521959
Nice one Phantom. a hundred points for the Phantom Master!!
11521959
Huh?
Uh...I'm not sure I want to know what happened there.
11521965
Yeah, let's keep it that way, otherwise, we never hear the end of it...
11521965
If you 'are' curious as to how this whole sub-plot even began... you have to go WAY back to when this subject first came up.
WAAAAAY back...
11521991
I see...mind sending me a link please?
11521992
Well you did say 'please' and it is polite, I respect that.
Cinematic Adventures Comments Page 1
Start here, then work your way up. Every Phantom-Dragon comment that goes into detail surrounding this little debacle. I'm certain he explained it in one of his previous comments.
11521994
I thank you for the information Master Drama
11521994
Whoa, now I get it. Huh...didn't see that coming.
I...think when I have the chance, I'll talk to him.
11522023
If he’s not too busy working on part two of his commentary that’s reasonable. We did use ‘a lot’ of lyrics we can’t use on this site. Not our call, but we had to post a condensed version of these chapters.
11522032
Fair enough, also, good point.
that ending has me paranoid, what is she planning, oh dear im scared od whats to come, awesome chapter
11521959
Me:(knocks on Phantom Dragon's office door)"Phantom Dragon, may I come in please"?.
11521659
11521959
11521574
Future G5
Discord Memorial Cinema
Zipp: Did I just hear that right?
Me: Yep. Full stop.
Izzy: I’m so confused.
Me: I’ll never understand why some cartoons just change up the vernacular. It’s not funny, just confusing.
Sunny: Does this…happen a lot?
Me: Like you have no idea.
Sunny: That’s so sad.
Izzy: (crying) I know!
Pipp: Poor girls.
Fairy tales and their star-crossed lovers, bah! Humbug. Sure, I’ve lost many people whom I loved with all my heart, but…
There was one tragedy that eclipsed them all, one that still haunts me.
Zipp: Ugh, seriously?
Pipp: I thought you liked riddles?
Zipp: When they make sense!
Pipp: Isn’t the whole point of a riddle to, I don’t know: be confusing?
Me: I never liked fairy tale logic when it comes to relationships.
Zipp: Yeah, that whole “telling her she’s not your true love” thing is just asking for trouble.
Izzy: I like Munchkins! They’re so adorable!
Sunny: Unlike Farquaad.
Me: (chuckles)
Haven: (indignant) I say!
Myself and a few others chuckled at that.
By now, a good majority of the audience were included.
Alphabittle: That’s an understatement! (laughs out loud with other unicorns)
I didn’t take long for all three tribes to be laughing their silly asses off.
Zipp: (laughing) I can’t…I can’t breathe! (continues)
Hitch: (likewise) He…he definitely talks big for such a little guy!
Izzy: (laughing/crying) Yeah! He’s…he reminds of Sprout!
Sprout: (stops laughing) Would you please stop that already?!
Haven: (lightly chuckling) Lower your…lower your expectations.
I was clear she was using every ounce of her will to not burst out laughing like a whale, or an airhorn.
Thunder: Just like his boots!
Zoom: If they fit!
More and more laughter.
Sunny: Yeah! Yeah he definitely is!
Forgetting professionalism in that very moment, the entire theater was laughing to high heaven in an uproar that I would probably never hear again.
Pipp: I can’t take it any…anymore! I need to breathe!
Sunny: Those were so terrible! I couldn’t help but laugh at them!
Tinny: Oh, wow! I think I’m gonna break another connecting rod again!
For a moment, everything was silent, and then…
Izzy: (laughing) MEASURE UP!!! THAT’S GREAT!!!
Sunny: (likewise) He’s the one that needs measuring up!!!
This pattern of passing remarks went on for another five minutes or so.
Five minutes later…
Me: (breathes in, calmly) Alright…(sighs) now that we have all—
Izzy: (still laughing)
Me: …mostly calmed down, let’s continue the film.
Izzy: My favorite was when they went to the Chocolate Factory!
Sunny: Yeah, that was fun to watch.
Me: Wow. I can hear his angry rant all the way out here. (sighs) I know how it feels to hold a grudge. I just hope Sunset’s doing better.
Pipp: And a gorgeous one too! You only get sunsets like that in Zephyr Heights.
Me: You mean above the clouds right?
Pipp: Mhmm, why?
Me: Because I’m deathly scared of heights.
Pipp: Oh.
Sunny: The sunset’s very pretty out over the ocean. You can see miles out into the horizon when it’s like that.
Hitch: I agree. It’s very beautiful.
Me: Oh, yeah. I keep forgetting stuff like that.
Sunny: What stuff?
Me: Your classic fairy tale tropes, of course. I bleached them out of my head a long time ago, with real bleach.
Zipp: …alright, I don’t see why they should be concerned. They can handle a few robbers.
Zipp: (turning pale, squeaky voice) I take back what I said.
Sunny: Uh…Plymouth? Are you okay?
I laid flat on my back, sprawled across the floor with my chair right next to me on its side.
Me: (likewise pale) That gets me…every time.
Pipp: I agree.
Zipp: It’s better than nothing.
Pipp: Seriously?!
Zipp: What? It’s a good shelter!
Pipp: You…oh, nevermind!
Zipp: Yeah…I didn’t expect that either.
Hitch: She really knows her stuff.
Zipp: You know, with how adaptable she is, why didn’t she just…simply rescue herself?
Izzy: Duh, because that doesn’t happen in fairy tales!
Me: And now you know why I despise fairy tales.
Izzy: I–bu…huh?!
Zipp: (agrees with Me) Mmhmm, yep. I prefer reading things that are based in reality.
Sunny: So…Plymouth! What’s your favorite fairy tale then?
Me: Edward Scissorhands.
Crickets.
Me: (smug) Didn’t expect to hear that today, didja?
Me: Oh, yeah. That old lullaby. It’s very popular amongst my colleagues.
Izzy: How does it go?
Me: I don’t know; never listened to it, myself.
Pipp: Come on, why?!
Zipp: I would’ve done the same thing.
Pipp: Zipp!
Zipp: Kidding! I’m kidding!
Pipp: (leary) Yeah, sure.
Sunny: Uh…what was that?
Izzy: Maybe she has her own lullaby?
Me: Um…that’s a bit early, don’t you think?
Zipp: Earlier than what?
Me: You’ll see, you’ll see.
Me: (despondent) I find comfort in the stars. There’s comfort in knowing that all my old friends and family are out there watching over me.
Sunny: (likewise) Sometimes…I think I see my dad up there, smiling down on his little pony.
Me: I think I see Orion up there. He’s always been my favorite.
Izzy: (tilts her head) Hey, if you tilt your head like this…you can actually see them!
Sunny: See what?
Izzy: The hunters!
Me: (deadpan) Good to know that all my hard work is finally paying off.
Me: Ah, yes. One of the few times the original shows tackled racism. One of the few times where I found Twilight Sparkle and friends completely unlikeable.
Sunny: What?!
Me: You’d be agreeing with me had you seen what I’ve seen!
Me: (despondent) Yeah…it sure is nice to dream.
Izzy: I like dreaming! It relaxes me!
Zipp: It’s also distracting, sometimes.
Zipp: Yeah, that’s what would probably happen.
Alphabittle: He’s certainly got the strength for it.
Pipp: Ouch. Bru~tal.
Posey: Is it really that hard for you morons to get that?!
Sunny: Pose—!
Me: Let it go, Sunny.
Zipp: Geez, that got heated real fast.
Hitch: Not that I can blame him.
Me: Hold on for a moment. I gotta check something.
I reached over and brought out a binder marked “Pinkie Sense Translated to English”.
Me: (reading) “Twitchy tail…floppy ears…nodding head plus tippy-tapping hooves…” Oh, wait, I’m in the wrong section.
Sunny: Did you find what you’re looking for?
Me: (shaking my head) Nope, can’t find it.
Izzy: Aw, nuts!
Zipp: What are you saying “aw nuts” for?
Izzy: I just felt like saying it.
Me: Aah, a new one. That explains it.
I took out a pen and wrote it down.
Izzy: Yay! It’s always so fun to watch them with new friends!
Me: Yep, Pinkie would fit in perfectly with the nonsense of Lewis Carroll.
Sunny: Uh, who now?
Zipp: Now where are they going?
Me: Wait a minu—Gene Kelly? Hey, I recognize this background!
Izzy: Yes, YES!! GIMME MORE MUSICAL NUMBERS!!!
Posey: (sobbing) Why me?
Much to the applause of the audience.
Sunny: Woohoo!
Izzy: ENCORE!!!
Pipp: Love it~!
Me: As fun as it was to see Pinkie Pie dancing alongside Gene Kelly…(sighs) I don't think it was appropriate for the situation.
Izzy: Aw, but I loved it!
In an instant, the happy-go-lucky attitude from before had completely vanished.
Me: This is the moment that changed the entire film for me.
Sunny: That’s so sad.
Izzy: No friends? Because he’s scared of them running away from him?
Zipp: Wow…that went…deeper than I thought it would.
Red: (thoughts) I know how it feels to be all alone, abandoned and left behind because of what I look like.
I looked over to see a teary-eyed Hitch loving hug little Sparky in his hooves.
Me: It’s hard. I have seen many instances throughout human history where people are targeted and killed because of how different they looked.
Sunny: You…you mean it?
Me: (nodding) Equestria was no different back then either from today. Sure, it didn’t look like that on the surface; you had to look beneath the surface to find the cracks.
Sunny: So…Equestria was always divided.
Me: So have humans. But hey, that didn’t stop people from coming together despite it all.
Izzy: Yeah! We brought everypony together, Sunny!
Sunny: Yeah…yeah we did.
Broken love, the death of a soulmate; none of it ever brought a tear to my eye. But Spike’s revelations certainly did. The injustice of the situation was the key to sadness.
While I did hear the comments of my audience, as I took a sip from my hydroflask, I noticed Misty tightly hugging her newly purchased desk lamp, like it was the only thing that she loved in the whole world.
Hitch: No one…should have to go through this.
Me: (smiles) How about that?
Sunny: Shrek found a true friend in Spike.
Izzy: (crying) That’s so wholesome!
Me: As cliche as this song is, it’s still my favorite song of the Broadway musical. Somehow, it distincts itself from all the others of its kind.
Donkey and Spike looked up at their friend, as six eyes gazed toward the glittering stars and the great big moon in the night sky. With only the light of the moon piercing through some cracks of the wooden door, it barely touches the silhouette of Princess Fiona. She had been listening all that time, every word… and she felt terrible for herself, for the way she acted.
Pipp: (teary) That was…honestly, one of the most powerful…songs, I’ve ever heard!
Sunny: Poor Shrek. He has his own dreams, but he…
Hitch: He also wants someone to like him instead of fearing him. Someone to…love, even.
Zipp: Wow.
Izzy: (crying) I feel so sorry for Shrek!
Sunny: He’s been through his entire life branded a monster…without a friend.
The entire atmosphere reeked of sadness. I also had my own dreams, but the all consisted of one thing:
Myself, standing in a darkened room, powerless to watch as the same man is executed on the electric chair miles away from me.
No one. There is just me left. There isn’t even an anchor weighing me down; just my body frozen, powerless to stop what I committed. Then the room goes completely dark, and the now empty electric chair rushes right up to me.
Me: (near sobbing) I need to be alone for a while.
I quickly got up and left the theater abruptly.
Izzy: (chokes) The…the moon’s always nice to look at.
Zipp: (sighs) Yeah, yeah it really is.
Zipp: Okay…that’s a thing now. Where did they come from again?
Hitch: (worried) I think they…might be from that Wrestlemania movie.
Izzy: I’m scared!
Pipp: Um…where’s Mr. Fury?
Sunny: I don’t know. I hope he’s alright.
Zipp: He kinda ran out very quickly.
>>next
<<Previous
11521645
11521959
11522154
Canterlot Mall Theater, Discord's Branch
Fluttershy: I-I’m just happy they’re well (she said softly)
Rarity: Those poor girls, they been through so much. From getting their home attacked and being captive
Arctic: It is a sad thing. (He said to the fashionista) At least now, they’re with their friends. And, this time, they’ll make sure nothing else happens and have each other’s backs.
Arctic: (in his thoughts) I wonder what that key could be for that’s so important? Hopefully, we can find out
Pinkie Pie: Kinda like are Applejack too.
Applejack: (slowly looks at the party girl a bit)
Rainbow Dash: (notice the farm girl was making) Come on AJ, you know it’s true
Applejack: (the farmer would stay quiet before looking away sheepishly)
Arctic: (starts to laugh a little bit)
Sci-Twi: What’s so funny Ace? (She ask towards the ice pony)
Arctic: Let’s say you might have a “little entertainment” from what’s about to happen (he said with his laugher growing a bit more)
Rarity: What do you-
Silence envelope the theater as Ace, Rainbow, and Pinkie start to burst out in laughter, with the others doing their best to hold it in until they start to laugh
Sci-Twi: I-I really shouldn’t (she begins), but I can’t help it! (She said between her laughter)
Applejack: E-Eeyup y-you can say that again Twi! (She mentioned laughing out)
Rainbow Dash: I-I can’t stop! (She said with laughter leaning onto Pinkie for support while holding her sides) P-Pinkie! H-hold me! (She said in between laughs)
Pinkie Pie: I-I’ll try! B-but you need to hold me! (She said leaning onto Rainbow Dash for support too)
Rarity: Y-You’re right. T-this is a “little” entertaining (she mentioned to Arctic as the fashionista was holding onto Fluttershy who was having a small laugh of her own)
The laughter continued for a while as the group slowly started to settle with the Equestrian girls and Ace catching their breath as they looked back towards the screen.
Arctic: Yeah, though you did have some falling outs here and there. But you learn from them and helped you grow into a better princess throughout your journey
Pinkie Pie: Wow, she seems a bit afraid.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, what’s the big deal?
Arctic: Oh, if only you all knew (he said in his thoughts)
The Equestrian Girls went a bit a little pale from the surprise outburst from Fiona.
Sci-Twi: Well, that sure changed fast
Applejack: Eeyup
Rarity: Really now, is that necessary for her?
Arctic: Oh, trust me, Rarity, it's necessary for her. All in due time, will it get explained
Fluttershy: I-I’m sure she’ll warm up to you all, eventually. (The shy girl mentioned with some hope)
Arctic: (chuckles a bit) Man, they really are like two peas in a pod
Pinkie Pie: If I can meet her will have the best time of our lives! (She exclaimed with a grin) we can party and have wacky adventures!
Arctic: (he smilies softly letting out another small chuckle) bet she would enjoy that a lot Pinkie.
Pinkie Pie: He could’ve played along just a little bit (she said with a pout)
Rainbow Dash: After what we seen so far with him, I don’t think that was happening Pinkie (she said towards the party girl)
Pinkie Pie: (frowns a bit)
Arctic: Hey now, it’s ok Pinkie. He’ll come around eventually.
Pinkie Pie: You Sure? (She asks and looked towards Ace)
Arctic: Yeah, besides. I know what can cheer you up.
Pinkie Pie: Really? What is it? (She said and watched him point towards the Screen)
Pinkie Pie:*gasps in excitement* Another musical! And with Maddie! (She said happily)
Pinkie Pie: Best! Musical! Ever! (She said with a grin)
The Equestrian Girls couldn’t help but shake their heads with a small smile and chuckle, seeing another classic Pinkie Pie moment.
Sci-Twi: No matter what, they’ll watch over each other.
Arctic: Just like you all watching each other to.
The Equestrian Girls all nod in agreement from this as they smile.
Fluttershy: O-Oh no. It’s him.
Arctic: Uncle Howdy, just what are you planning (he said in his thoughts)
Rainbow Dash: Wow, he has some real issues
Applejack: Eeyup
Fluttershy: O-Oh no, that poor dragon. (The shy girl said sadly feeling worried for the dragon)
The Equestrian girls and Ace grew worried at this. Seeing how they have one more leverage on getting what they want.
Arctic: Things..are about to get REALLY bad.
Fluttershy: W-whoever that is. Apple and her friends won’t do anything that crazy to save them. Right? (She asked to the ice pony with some hope)
Arctic: I..don’t know Flutters. (He said turning his attention to the shy girl with some uncertainty)
Next>>
11522175
11521645
11521959
<<previous
I raced out of the theater and into my office, slamming the door shut. I collected myself as the tears opened up, splattering all over my desk. The only noise that kept me from going crazy was the rhythmic ticking of my wall clock.
At that moment, I didn’t care about my audience. They would be there regardless of my supervision; they’ve done it before, refurbished it long before my promotion. My mind was swimming with the here and now, it being the godforsaken Christmas holiday.
Contrary to the masses, this particular holiday only brought me misery, a time for me to remember my greatest sin that put me back here.
I faced my judgment, saw what was on the other side, and it put me back; the most unfair decision in the history of decisions.
Me: (sings)
Every year, the same reminders of the things I've lost
Absent friends and broken pledges wrapped in freezing frost
Why should I be bright and merry?
Why should I, won't someone tell me?
Tell me, tell me, tell me
My region of Equestria has remained in perpetual winter for who knows how long. The only difference brought by the Holidays were the biting and howling winds swirling around me. Main street Ponyville was in shambles, most of the buildings have rottoned over the centuries, no longer resembling what they used to be.
The only thing that stood out in the storm was, of course, the old Castle of Friendship. Ironic, that it was the only building to stand the test of time despite everything.
I was stomping through the darkened snow, dressed in my coat, gloves, hat, and holding my only working flashlight. So what if I resembled Scrooge? I liked the frigid winters, it was the only thing my soul was good for.
My focus was straight ahead on the Castle. I was filled with nothing but burning rage. A poster whirled through the wind, catching on my leg. I picked it up, reading its advertisement for the “New Year’s Concert”.
I crumpled it and threw it away. What use would it have for me?
Me: (sings)
Cold bleak winters filled with sorrow are all I've ever known
Seasons greetings you can keep them
Just leave me alone
"Why not join us, toast the season?"
Don't they know I have my reasons?
Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me
The Castle of Friendship was, by definition, a rotting structure. The crystal supports were holding up, but for how long, I didn’t care. All it reminded me of were the perpetual happiness that marinated the old halls. I could see it all in them, the old spirits that roamed these halls.
I felt their presence; their hauntings.
Me: (sings)
Every year such joy and gladness
Sparkling in their eyes
I tightly clutched my chest, seething.
Me: (sings)
Treat it colder, make it suffer!
Bring it down to size~!
I finally stepped into my final destination: the Map Room. The books were all rotten and destroyed, and yet the crystal map remained. Along with all the haunting reminders of everything that was wrong with me.
Me: (sings)
All around me, oh so cheery
I'm not happy so why should I be?
Tell me, tell me
Tell me!
It wasn’t fair! Why did I have to be the one to be given a second chance at life when so many oher souls deserved more than I?! Why did God, and Jesus Fucking Christ, both look me dead in the eyes, and decided that I deserved another try at life?!
Didn’t they know what I did?! I am not an angel, I deserve to rot in Hell!
The moment I slammed my fist against the table, so it all happened.
A swirling vortex of snow enveloped the entire room, picking up all the loose pages. My coat and hat were flapping against the wind, and I lost my flashlight, but that was not what I cared for at that moment. Above my head, were the dreaded creatures of Equestrian legend, galloping over my head, surrounding a towering figure standing perfectly still in the middle of the Map table.
The windigos remained silent and neutral, and I dared not agitate them. I was focused on the man staring me down, stone-faced and unmoving.
I knew who he was, and what his purpose was for me. That face would never stop haunting my soul for my pathetic life, no matter what I would do. There was no use: God had made the wrong decision in putting me back.
And nothing I would do could ever warrant my spot in Heaven.
I dropped my light and ran. I didn’t care if the windigos attacked me or not. I only wanted to get away from the face of my nightmares.
I’m sorry, John. So, so sorry.
Just put my soul in Hell and be done with me.
>>next
11522175
11521645
11521959
<<previous
Zipp: Oh, this is just disgusting.
Sunny: (cringing) Gross~.
Pipp: Ew~! I don’t want to see this!
Hitch: Look away, Sparky!
Haven: What a disgusting little individual!
Izzy: Ooh, can we have some?!
Hitch: It’s an alcoholic drink, Izzy.
Sunny: I’ve…never liked alcohol of any kind.
Zipp: Ditto.
Zipp: Pfft, like that would ever happen.
Haven: This is an embarrassment.
Izzy: Someone has daddy issues~!
Zipp: (deadpad) Wonderful.
Zipp: Well, I can see why.
Hitch: I…don’t know what to think about all of this anymore.
Pipp: Gaze upo—oh, ugh! Ew!
Posey: Hopefully, his song won’t be as annoying.
Sunny: Catchy.
Izzy: I…liked it, actually!
Zipp: (shrugs) Fits right in with the tone of the movie, I guess.
Zipp: (shocked) Wow… that’s just wrong.
Hitch: On so many levels.
Pipp: I can’t look anymore.
Zipp: I never want to see that image for the rest of my life.
Haven: Did we just see…oh, I am beyond disgusted.
Alphabittle: This guy gives stallions a bad name.
Sunny: Wait, so they’re watching their every move?!
Hitch: That’s illegal on so many levels!
Zipp: Oh, yeah. I almost forgot that happened.
Izzy: How many times do they have to: “speak of the devil”?
Sunny: It’s an expression, I think.
Sunny: They kidnapped someone else?!
Zipp: Will this never end?! We’ve got enough on our plate already!
Izzy: Zipp?
Zipp: What?!
Izzy: Now you’re shouting to yourself!
Sunny: Now what’s gonna happen?
Zipp: I don't know, but it's not gonna be good.
11522214
Great job on the commentaries as usual
In My Office
Ever since Raven mentioned of “Rain of Castamere” — Which is another clue — I started to look up on the computer in my office, to see what it means.
Me: (Reading my latest finding) “Rain of Castamere — a song that immortalizes the destruction of House Reyne by Tywin Lannister, after the former dared to rebel. Hmmm.” (Pondering while looking up the family tree of the Lannister) “Tywin is the father of Cersei the Mad Queen, who is now Evil Queen Regina’s current partner-in-crime. Hmmmm.”
I’m trying to put all the pieces of the puzzles together. Someone inside The Ministry of Magic is in cahoots with the villains. House Lannister is in on it. Queen Regina has been supplying the bad guys with those anti-magic equipments.
And from what Raven has revealed onscreen, the Skeleton Key “guarantees” the future, and the “Rains of Castamere,” has fallen. Which could mean that whatever they’re looking is tied to how Cersei’s father first destroyed House Reyne! But what?
At this exact moment, someone came knocking at my door.
11522149
Me: “Come in, Shadow.”
Sorry it's taking so long.
Today, there's been a fight. I'd rather not get into too much details about it.
Just letting everyone know that the next part(s) of the commentary will take a while longer.
11522704
Worry not my friend
11522704
It’s okay. You don’t have to tell us about it. Take your time.
11522704
Me:(enters Phantom Dragon's office and closed the door)"I like to word with you about the Tunnel that I blocked off".
Okay. I think I'm alright now, Mr. E.
Give me some time and I'll have it up before the next chapter is published.
<<Previous
11522214
Plymouth
11522175
Arctic
11521645
Postwar
11522755
Shadowshion
11519786
HunterBrony
11522712
extremeenigma
11522713
Dramamaster829
You mean "group."
Garble: "I don't know what the big deal is. To us dragons, a cave is home sweet home."
Gilda: (To Garble) "Yeah, well some of us prefer to nest in trees, than on bumpy hard rocks in damp, dreary caves..."
Big Mac: "Eeyup..."
Discord: "It kinda reminds me of this one campaign of Ogres & Oubliettes that me, Big Mac, and Spike were playing the other day. We were in the process of rescuing Fair Lady Gabriella from the Squizard's Lair."
Gilda: (Overhearing what Discord said) "Gabriella? Huh, what a coincidence! Gabby's full name is–"
Pharynx: (To Gilda) "Hey! SHHH! I wanna hear what's going to happen next!" (Eats popcorns from his bucket)
Big Daddy McColt: "Homey touches?"
Ma Hooffield: "Yeah! Like wut?"
Mina: "Yeah! Whoa..."
Button Mash: "Do you know of another Princess named Fiona who is locked up in a castle, guarded by a fire-breathing dragon? Because if there is another one, then I'd say she's in another castle and...you guys just got the wrong one..."
Rumble: (To Button Mash) "You stopped making sense the day you were dropped on your head when you were born, man."
Button Mash: (To Rumble) "Ohh, or does it make so much sense, it hurts your face?!"
Grubber: "What's your hurry sweetheart?" (Rings a bell for Hunter, or Shadowshion) "Two more Zap Apple Jam pies, please! With a large cup of Diet Coke, please!"
Diamond Tiara: "How rude!"
Silver Spoon: "Gee. What a grouch!"
Pumpkin Cake: "At least, Mr. Cranky Doodle Donkey wasn't that cranky." (To Cranky Doodle Donkey) "No offense!"
Cranky Doodle Donkey: (To Pumpkin Cake) "None taken..."
Maud Pie: "I think he's trying to bury her alive."
Mudbriar: "Technically, he's trapping her inside than burying her."
Big Mac: "Nope!"
Big Mac: "...Eeyup."
Extra Cut
Meanwhile, back at the Dragon's Keep
We find our heroes of this Cinematic Adventure's Extra Cut, where we left them last...in the Dragon's Keep, staring down, or up, at Tirek and his troops of evil knights.
Tirek: (Laughs evilly) "Well, well, well. It would appear that Princess Twilight has, once again, left a few of her friends behind. Guess the buck doesn't stop at Sunset Shimmer, does it?" (Narrows his eyes) "Wait a minute...I remember you girls! YOU were those meddlesome Slytherin and Ravenclaw who helped Harry Potter and his six friends fend off myself, Chrysalis, and COZY!"
Wallflower Blush: "Wow...you actually remember me? I'm touched."
Tirek: "Heh. Well, my original plan was to have a shot of revenge at Princess Twilight and friends. But now that they're gone, probably halfway back to Duloc by now, I think I'll have to settle for you two!"
Juniper Montage: "BRING IT ON, HORSE BUTT!!!"
Dance To The Death - Kingdom Hearts II
And so, both Wallflower Blush and Juniper Montage charged into battle against Tirek and his squadron of knights. Knights who are still able-bodied enough to fight.
Tirek: "ATTACK!!!"
Wallflower Blush used Juniper's wand to fire off some spells she knows from her second (which is actually her first) year at Hogwarts, as one of Discord's students and spies.
Wallflower Blush: "Expelliarmus!" (Shoots a spell that knocked the swords out of the knights' hands) "Incendio!" (Fires a jet of fire that lit up several debris aflame, startling the knights) "Diffindo!" (Fires a spell at an old rope, causing the chandelier hanging above to drop onto the knights)
Still, the knights just kept on coming. Wallflower Blush rolled to the side to evade the attacks. She hasn't felt this much adrenaline in a real fight in a long time. She missed it, and felt excited. She doesn't understand why. She just loved it.
Meanwhile, Juniper Montage could see that the knights were still swarming around her and Wallflower. And she couldn't count on Medusa helping, on the account the gorgon's refusal to use her petrifying stares. So, Juniper turned to the next best thing they've got, that could turn the tide of battle, in their favor.
Juniper Montage: (Runs up to the dragon) "Hey! Listen! How about a truce? If I let you go, and if you help us get rid of these knights and that centaur creep, then you have to promise not to eat us, or breathe fire on us, and maybe, just MAYBE, we'll help you find that runaway Donkey boyfriend of yours. Okay? Do we have a deal?"
In response, the Dragon merely grunts in response.
Juniper Montage: "I'm gonna take that as a maybe. But what have we got to lose?" (Removes the sword from the chain) "Okay, Dragon! LET 'EM HAVE IT!"
With a loud and ferocious roar, the Dragon charged into the fray, breathing fire on the knights, frying them all to crisps, just like all the other knights, and would-be heroes, who had came to her lair, before them. Except this time, the Dragon wasn't doing it to guard a princess, now that she has escaped, at last. Now, she's doing it to help these two strange girls in witch clothings, so that they can help her find her runaway Donkey lover.
Juniper Montage: "OH YEAH! You guys are in so much trouble now!"
Wallflower Blush: "WHOA!" (Ducked her head to avoid the Dragon's fire) "Watch the friendly fire! I've already lost enough hair for one day!" (She touches her short hair, which has now been burnt to a short length – estimated to be a chin length)
Watching from the ruins of the castle, Medusa was in awe at the remarkable display of heroism from the girls.
The Dragon continued to fry all of the knights, picking them off like a wolf to rabbits, until Tirek stepped forward and glared at the Dragon. The Dragon reared up and blasted a huge flamethrower at the centaur, who merely opened his mouth and sucked in the Dragon's firepower, growing stronger, until he was big enough to grab the Dragon by the throat.
Tirek: (To the Dragon) "You have served your purpose well, Dragon. But now...you have outlived your usefulness." (Cruelly tosses the Dragon to the side)
Medusa slithered up to the battered Dragon, then looked up to see Tirek, stomping his way towards Wallflower Blush, picking up the young Slytherin to his chin.
Tirek: "Hmmmm. Though you are not a native of Equestria, I can smell a good deal of magical residue all over you. It appears your past exposure to Equestrian magic has gifted you with enough prowess to have you considered attending Hogwarts. Pity that it was the last you'll ever set foot in that school..."
With that, Tirek proceeded to open his mouth, ready to drain away the mana away from Wallflower.
Juniper Montage: (Screaming) "WALLFLOWER!!!"
Thankfully, Tirek didn't even get a drop a mana into his mouth, when he was suddenly hit, by an arrow.
Tirek: (Screams in pain) "AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!" (Drops Wallflower to the ground, and pulls an arrow off his cheeks) "WHO DARES?!"
Tirek looks down, until he spotted Medusa, holding an old bow and a dusty quiver of arrows, from a dead knight. Medusa then takes out another arrow and fires another shot towards Tirek, almost hitting him in the eye. Needless to say, Tirek was beyond furious.
Tirek: "HOW DARE YOU INTERFERE?!!!" (Tirek raised his arms up to throw a punch at Medusa, knocking her to the side)
Wallflower & Juniper: (To Medusa) "MADDIE!!!"
At this moment, Medusa became desperate. Even though she hated her power and swore never to use it again, desperate time calls for desperate measures. And this is it.
Medusa: (To Wallflower and Juniper) "WALLY! JUNIPER! COVER YOUR EYESSSS!!!"
Wallflower and Juniper quickly covered their eyes, and beckoned the Dragon to do the same. Once she was certain her friends have closed their eyes, Medusa blinked her third transparent eyelid, until her eyes were fully revealed)
Medusa then hissed loudly as she turned and several of the knights were petrified on the spot. They were all turned to stone. Those that barely survived the ordeal were horrified to witnessing what had become of their fallen comrades.
Medusa continued with her fight to petrify the kngihts, when she finds herself helpless in Tirek's clutches.
Tirek: (Smiles evilly) "Huh. I should've recognized the snake-haired Medusa, in the flesh. Your power is legendary, as your curse, and your tragic beginning. Now, I shall have the pleasure of taking your powers for the greater cause of the Dark Order of Mayhem!"
With that, Tirek proceeded to drain away Medusa's powers, preventing her from turning him into a statue. He was only halfway done, when the Dragon regained her second wind and charged forward, ramming her hand into the centaur's side, causing him to drop Medusa. Tirek tried to fight back, but he was too startled and caught off guard to resist, as the slightly-weakened Dragon shoved him through the castle ruins, until she knocked him into the lake of lava below.
Tirek: (Screaming as he fell) "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaahhhhh!!!"
With a big splash of lava, Tirek disappeared out of sight, while the Dragon let out a triumphant roar.
Juniper Montage: "YEAH! TIREK'S DOWN AND OUT!!!"
Wallflower Blush: (To Juniper) "Don't celebrate just yet!"
The three girls looked to see that there were still plenty of knights to overpower them.
Juniper Montage: (To Medusa) "Maddie? Now's a good time for you to get all snake and stone on them!"
Medusa: (Panting heavily) "I...can't...too...weak..."
Tirek had drained away enough of Medusa's strength, that the gorgon could hardly lift her head. Wallflower looked up, finding herself overcome with a dreadful anxiety as the knights closed in on her and her friends.
Wallflower Blush: (Asks herself) "What would Sunset do? What would Sunset do? What would...No, Wallflower. Sunset isn't here. So you gotta think for yourself. What can I do? What can I do?"
Discord: (Echoes in Wallflower's head) "It is demoralizing to your opponents to repeat the phrase: 'WHO'S YOUR DADDY?'"
Wallflower looked up at her adversaries, feeling a compulsive urge to do something that's crazy, that it just might work. Then again, she has done crazier things in the past with her friends.
Wallflower Blush: (Holds up her open hands and taunts) "Who's your daddy?"
In response, one of the knights attacked, slashing his sword. But Wallflower quickly ducked her and parried the follow up, and slapped the knight, upside the head, knocking his helmet off.
Lannister Knight: (To Wallflower Blush) "How dare you stri–" (Gets cut off by another slap)
Wallflower Blush: (Proceeds to repeatedly slap the knight's face) "WHO'S YOUR DADDY?! WHO'S YOUR DADDY?! WHO'S YOUR DADDY?! WHO'S YOUR DADDY?! WHO'S YOUR DADDY?!!!"
The unfortunate knight was soon down for the count. The other knights charged in to help their fallen comrade, but they were all having a hard time with Wallflower Blush's newfound courage and gung ho. The girl has come a long way from being an invisible outcast of Canterlot High to a heroic Slytherin girl...under Discord's tutelage. All the sparring sessions between her and her demiguise pet, Slappy, were really bearing fruit.
Wallflower Blush: (Screaming like Bruce Lee) "WHOOAAA-WHOOOOAAA-WHOOOOAAAA-WHAAAAA!!!!" (Backfisted two other knights behind her, knocking them to the ground) "YOW-WOOOOO-WOOO!!!"
Juniper Montage and Maddie all found themselves surrounded by the Knights, approaching them from every directions, with their swords drawn. Juniper thought frantically, until she thought of an idea.
Juniper Montage: "D'oh, I hope this works!" (Does the Jedi Mind Trick) "You are all chickens!"
The knights all froze in their tracks, until they dropped their weapons, flapped their arms like wings, and proceeded to cluck like chickens. Some have even started to peck the floors for bugs. This just makes them all easy picking for the weakened-dragon, who reared her head up, and lunged forward to snatch up the knights, eating them all like candies.
With the knights taken cared off, the two girls and gorgon quickly climbed on the back of the Dragon.
Juniper Montage: "HEIGH-HO, DRAGON AWAAAAAAAAY!!!" (Kicks the dragon on the shoulder, to which the beast turned her head to shoot Juniper a death glare) "Sorry! I've always wanted to make a Lone Ranger reference!"
Wallflower Blush: (To the Dragon) "Just get us out of here so we can find our friends and reunite you with that Donkey!"
With a flap of her wings, the Dragon took off, with the girls barely holding on. They were finally leaving the Dragon's former lair, and off into the world, searching for their friends.
Next>>
11523154
Really liked the extra cut
11521589
It's either Hunter or Apple's mom... At least their alive. 😅😥
11522755
Me: “I’m currently investigating a more pressing matter, so make it quick. What about the tunnel?”
11521645
11521659
11522154
11521959
11522175
11522208
11522214
11522484
11523154
11523974
11524056
Me: Very tragic...
Me: That's what we'd all like to know.
Me: *listening in on Phantom's talk with the Student Six*
Me: You think?!
Sonata Dusk: What does she mean?
Me: Ask her when she and the others get back.
*Sonata and I can't help but laugh at the jokes so bad, that they're funny*
Me: Yet you never read one about how stealing from another nation can another war when you already have one... Watch My Little Pony: The Movie
Discord: "At least, I DIDN'T go ax-crazy over an edited video for more than four years! Not mentioning names. Sunset Shimmer."
Sonata Dusk looked rather confused.
Sonata Dusk: (To Me and Shadow) "Uh...for the record, I think I take the full blame for what we did to Sunset. So...Why is Discord blaming her?"
Me: He likes to point fingers like the idiot he truly is.
Discord: *frowns at my answer*
Me: Mommy...
Sonata Dusk: *holding onto me in fright*
Sonata Dusk: For realsies? I think it fits fine.
Sonata Dusk: I ask the same question.
Me: Well excuuuuse me, Princess!
*All look at me*
Me: Yeah, that did sound kinda jerk like. Promise you won't let me do that again?
Everycreature: Promise.
Me: Thanks.
Sonata Dusk: What was that?
Me: You'll see soon.
Me: Very true.
Me: Don't try to underestimate Luna, Twi.
Me: *shrug*
Me: *with Shrek* I would pick that guy up and hurl him into a tree!
Me: Get used to it.
Sonata Dusk: Ouch...
Me: *with Shrek* Everyone! Okay?!
Sonata Dusk: Who's that?
Me: Gene Kelly.
Sonata Dusk: *claps her hooves* That was amazing~!
Me: You never fail to entertain, Pinkie.
*I look toward Thorax and even Discord seeing them lowering their heads as they know what it's like being judged by everyone*
Me: I feel for ya too, Spike.
Me: Song time!
Sonata Dusk: *teary eyed* So beautiful...
Sonata Dusk: *gasp*
Me: *glare*
Sonata Dusk: Ugh!
Me: I feel ya, Sonata.
Me: *gives Sonata a Pina Colada that is not drugged*
Me: I can imagine.
Me: Here we go again~!
Sonata Dusk: Catchy.
Me: Yes, isn't it?
<>
Sonata Dusk: *hoof over her mouth in utter shock*
Sonata Dusk: *covers her face while blushing.
Me: Yeah, not the best place to be right now.
Sonata Dusk: They've been watching them?!
Me: Apparently...
Me: Famous last words...
Sonata Dusk: You fiends!!
Sonata Dusk: This is bad...
Me: Certainly so... *turns to readers* Cinematic Adventures: Shrek will be right back after this small break.
Break here: Break Forum
11523154
*slaps two pies at Grubber while pouring diet coke on him*
11523534
Grubber: (Slurps the root beer float on his face) "Thanks!"
AND...I'm having an existential crisis!
11523818
*speaking like Baymax* There there.