Never Alone

by SoloBrony

An Empty Heart

I chased after Cozy and Bree as quickly as my hooves would take me, terror working its way through my spine.

Her wingtips, they turned black! I've got to stop her before fear and hatred take her over completely!

I heard shouting up ahead, and put on a burst of speed. I saw Starlight teleport into existence next to Bree just before a roar shook the ground, making me panic for a moment that a monster had found us before I realized what had happened.

That was Cozy?!

The ground erupted into black crystal in a shockwave out from the filly, smacking right into Bree and Starlight and sending them sprawling. I barely caught a glimpse of Cozy before she took off further into the woods.

One of her eyes, now, too?!

"Starlight! Are you okay?!"

I arced my path around Bree, who seemed thoroughly stunned by the impact of the blunt crystal pillar, and found Starlight sitting on the grass, groaning and rubbing her horn.

A horn that had tiny black crystals sprouting out of it, causing me to stop short and gasp.

"Starlight, your horn—!"

"I know, Sunset!" Starlight grunted as she stood up, still rubbing her horn, and she winced. "Ouch! That really stings! Cozy sure doesn't fool around when she's angry."

I grimaced, both out of sympathy and concern. "I don't think she even realized you were there, Starlight. Did you see her right eye?"

Starlight rolled her eyes, still rubbing her horn. "I barely had a second to get my bearings before the spell hit. Why? Was something wrong with it?"

"It had turned black. I don't think it was seeing... anything real. I think she's seeing her worst fears alongside the real world. That's... my best guess, anyway."

Starlight sighed. "Greeeeaaaat. So we've got a miniature Sombra running around who's not even fully aware of what she's doing. Well, I'll go make sure Luna knows what's going on; do you think you can get to Twilight and get the element-bearers together? We can't risk Cozy going on a rampage."

I recoiled in horror. "Starlight, she's not rampaging, she's terrified! We can't just fix this by attacking her, she'd never trust us again!"

Starlight winced, whether from what I said or from her horn I wasn't sure. "I understand that, Sunset, but do you think she'd forgive herself if we let her hurt anypony? We should have everypony here just in case."

I clenched my teeth. What's she saying makes sense on the face of it, but Cozy's not our enemy, she's just scared out of her mind! And who could blame her?

I took a deep breath and tried to remind myself that Starlight hadn't seen even the glimpse I had of Cozy's mind; all she knew was that the filly had a dark past. It was something else to experience it first-hoof.

"Starlight, I understand your thinking. And I do think getting Luna is a good idea. But we can't treat this like a fight, you understand?"

Starlight nodded sheepishly. "I get it, Sunset. The elements are just for a last resort, okay?"

I did my best to rein in the urge to growl at the other mare. "A last resort. Fine. I'm going to find Cozy and try to help her; I'll cast a homing spell so you and Luna can find me."

I suddenly felt a hoof on my haunch. I glanced back to see Bree glaring daggers at me.

"Excuse you, who said you get to decide what's best for my daughter?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but I lit up my horn to remove her hoof, and as soon as I did so I fell into a world of memories.

Snippets, impressions, moments in time flooded past me, too quickly to focus on any one. The harder I tried to slow down the process, the more confused I felt.

Luna described something like this while searching memories. She said... focus on the shape of the stream itself.

I tried to draw my senses back, outward, to understand the general pattern of events rather than any specific memory.

What I saw made me sick.

I snapped back to reality, only to fold my ears from the mare shouting in my face.

"TAKE ME TO MY DAUGHTER RIGHT NOW—MMPH!"

I snapped her muzzle shut with my magic, and, drawing on something Starlight had shown me, I conjured up a crystal barrier from under Bree, encasing her in a rock-solid prison up to the hips.

I had to suppress a snicker as she gawped at what I'd done and flailed, screaming at me. "WHAT IN EQUESTRIA DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?! LET ME GO THIS INSTANT!"

I turned on my rear hoof and started walking into the woods. Starlight fell in beside me, looking at me like I'd gone crazy.

"Sunset?! What was that all about?!"

I shrugged, still trying to fight down the urge to retch from what I'd seen. "It seemed better than what I wanted to do to her."

Starlight glanced back at Bree, still screaming and flailing behind us, and back to me. "What did you see? I've never seen you so..."

I scoffed. "Callous? Angry? Evil?"

Starlight balked, looking more confused than anything. "No, uh... serious, I guess. I know you wouldn't do something like that without good reason, so... could you clue me in, maybe?"

I snorted. "So you can ignore what I tell you again?"

Starlight winced, and I immediately regretted what I'd said, reaching out and putting a hoof on her shoulder as I spoke. "Sorry. That was uncalled-for. I'm just really freaked out right now, worried about Cozy, and seeing in Bree's head just made it a lot worse."

Starlight nodded grimly. "I understand. Just don't leave me in the dark, okay? I didn't mean to brush off your warning before, but just telling me some filly had a bad childhood is... well, it's kinda vague, and could mean all sorts of things! I mean, not to be a jerk, but Cozy is not your average filly. What she's upset about could have been totally normal behavior."

I sighed, rubbing my head. "If it had been, I'd have mentioned that. Sorry, I've spent so long working closely with Luna and Discord that I've gotten used to them understanding my spell. I guess it's easy to forget not everypony does. What I saw in Bree was... well, it was really different from anything else I've come across."

Starlight seemed nonplussed, but I wasn't sure how to continue. She lifted a hoof and made a 'go on' gesture while saying, "So, did she, like... yell at Cozy all the time, or what?"

I groaned. "It's so much more than that. When she first had kids, she wasn't sure how to deal with them. Her husband was almost never around, and she couldn't handle the stress. It got to the point where, when the kids were misbehaving, she would just... start hitting them."

Starlight winced. "You mean, spanking them, or...?"

"It started off like that. Not great, but not, like, out there. But it became a habit. Eventually she started screaming at them or hitting them whenever they did something that bothered her, whether they were really being bad or not. If they woke her up, or made too much noise..."

Starlight grimaced, looking forward as we walked. "I've heard of parents like that, but would that really lead to all of this?"

I shrugged, trying to suppress the urge to gag. "There's a lot more. She did a lot of other awful stuff. Tying them up, starving them sometimes... but the really bad part isn't even all of that."

Starlight gawped at me. "She did what? What kind of parent does that?"

I shuddered a bit. "That's just it. At first, she hated herself for hurting them. But, over time, as it became a habit... she just stopped caring. About any of them, at all. She still tells herself she loves them, but her heart is just... empty. She thinks of them more like property than people, and she's upset somepony took her property. She's upset she looks incompetent. Feels like she's the victim. But the only pony she actually cares about is herself."

Starlight glanced back at the struggling mare, only barely visible through the trees at this point. "That's... I don't know what to say to that. What do we do with her?"

I shrugged. "I don't care. Keep her here. She can't be allowed anywhere near Cozy again, that much is obvious." I set off a flare with my horn, watching it arc up and over the forest. "There, that ought to serve as a beacon, and I keyed it to Luna's dreams; she'll come running. I want you to fill her in when she gets here."

Starlight nodded hurriedly. "And here I thought I'd have to double-back and run all the way back to her house. Okay... are you sure you'll be okay with Cozy by yourself? You saw yourself, she's kind of... well, snapped."

I gave her a flat look, but she just held her frank stare, and I sighed. "It's a chance I'm willing to take. Somepony did for me, once."

Starlight stopped and watched me make my way further into the woods, tracking the damage Cozy's magic and reckless flight had caused. "She'd be proud to see you now, Sunset."

I guess we'll see if I deserve it when I find Cozy.

Author's Note:

Starlight's bluntness is unconditional.

Comments

[asdtroi8895]

Gotto love Sunset's ability. So convenient.

[Nyronus]

I recoiled in horror. "Starlight, she's not rampaging, she's terrified! We can't just fix this by attacking her, she'd never trust us again!"

Starlight  winced, whether from what I said or from her horn I wasn't sure. "I  understand that, Sunset, but do you think she'd forgive herself if we let her hurt anypony? We should have everypony here just in case."

I clenched my teeth. What's she saying makes sense on the face of it, but Cozy's not our enemy, she's just scared out of her mind! And who could blame her?

And this went from bad to worse.

Congrats, Solo, despite seeing this meeting coming from a mile a way, down to suspecting the ending of the chapter before last would play out as it did, you have managed to shock and surprise me. Well fucking done.

I shrugged, still trying to fight down the urge to retch from what I'd seen. "It seemed better than what I wanted to do to her."

Ah, hey, me and Sunbutt junior are vibing now. Cool.

I snorted. "So you can ignore what I tell you again?"

Nasty... but fair.

Starlight glanced back at the struggling mare, only barely visible  through the trees at this point. "That's... I don't know what to say to that. What do we do with her?"

Guillotine.

I gave her a flat look, but she just held her frank stare, and I  sighed. "It's a chance I'm willing to take. Somepony did for me, once."

Awwww. Fucking Sunset, man. She's the real deal.

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

I really hope Bree doesn't get redemption. Or forgiveness. She does NOT deserve it.

[GMBlackjack]

These last two chapters have been difficult for me. Not because I have brutal, uncaring, cold parents - but just the opposite. I have two loving parents who I'm very close with, grandparents in much the same way, and a great-grandmother who passed away a few years ago. I love all of them very dearly, and I would not be the person I am today without all of their guiding hands.

Punishments were a regular thing, though, when I was young. Very young. There is an age where sitting down and trying to talk things out doesn't do anything (and I can't blame my parents for not trying: I have memories of many hours-long conversations where they tried to get my immature child-brain to realize that, well, stealing/lying/screaming in rage was wrong). Sometimes a spanking was just what they decided was needed.

The thing is, from what I hear, things used to be more extreme back in the day. My dad remembers (bizarrely fondly) a very specific story about Great Grandma telling him to go pick his own "switch". This might be told in jest because my dad recognized he was an absolutely rotten kid, I'm not sure. But reading the last chapter, and having that exact story told back to me, it... created a very unfortunate correlation between Bree and my late Great Grandmother. A woman who basically led our entire family and, as far as I could tell, didn't have a bone of hatred in her body. It was hard.

And I think this chapter here expresses one of the differences. Punishments and discipline should always be done for a reason--not out of a habit, like Bree. There's all this talk of redemption and forgiveness and change and... well, in the end, Bree here isn't doing it out of any care for her children, and it's stated rather explicitly. It's all self-delusion at this point, control, rage, anger, and... "Habit". "Habit" I think, is the word that disgusts me the most. And it's helping me separate her from the stories I know about the real people. The people I know often changed their strategies and methods for handling kids based on experience, how the child changed as they grew, and much, much more. This mother... just fell into a pit and didn't come back out.

In a way, though, that just makes her another Cozy. A victim of a tragedy - one of her own making, to be sure. We're all stuck in a rut of seeing ourselves as the hero, as the protagonist, and trying to convince ourselves that we're justified in what we do. And when we fail to do that, well, you've seen what Cozy's been going through lately, and how her low self-worth is super damaging. How far back do we go on the nature vs nurture spectrum? At what point do things become unforgivable, inexplainable? Everything can be traced back to some kind of circumstance, some tragedy. Some people are right assholes, absolutely, but where does that come from? Even the stuff baked into our nature is altered and twisted through our experiences through one way or another.

In a way, Cozy is her mother, and I think that's why she's terrified.

I think there's also something wrong with us that makes us gag and scream bloody murder for a violent controlling parent while the people who try to destroy the world get all the redemption and care. Then again, I believe in universal forgiveness, so maybe I'm just talking out of my hat here. But I do not believe in a world without punishment. Cozy has taken her punishment. Bree has not.

And like disciplining a child, it's likely the only way Bree can change is if she's forced through suffering.

-GM, master of essays.

[Frazzle2Dazzle]

10060377
Everyone falls short of the glory of God. Some don’t care that they’ve fallen so far, but I like to think that hope can reach everybody, that nobody is out of the reach of grace.

[A Predatorial Horse]

10063907
Same. I love my parents and have a pretty great relationship with them, always have. Still hated the punishments as a kid. However, looking back on my punishments as a child I really appreciate how well they were handled. They always felt measured, and were almost never issued in the heat of the moment. I may have at the time thought my parents were unfair or dumb for punishing me, but I never got the impression that they hated me.

As far as switches go, my dad was always the one who handled punishments. My 6’2”, 200+ lb, well built, went through a body building phase, cop of a dad. Anything but his bare palm would have felt like a mercy.

[SoloBrony]

10351001
The hardest part of dealing with people like this, I've found, is accepting just how empty they are, sometimes. It's difficult for someone who feels love and compassion to accept that someone else could just... not. It's hardest when you're in a relationship with them, and realize they don't have any of the feelings or concerns that you do - none of it is reciprocal.

[Herald of Opera]

10047377

Guillotine.

That was designed by someone who opposed the death penalty, as a compromise that made things more humane. Completely inappropriate here.

What I say is to simply not tell Bree that Cozy has been rescued and let her run into the Everfree to get eaten by something.