Never Alone

by SoloBrony

Partners

I slowly put on my saddlebags as the train pulled into the station.

I could just NOT tell her.

I already know how she feels about that! Look at how she reacted to Sunny and all of that! If I feel like something is skirting the rules, I have to tell her.

But I'm not sure if it counts, and I don't want to make her upset!

I can't just weasel out of it. If she gets angry it's my own fault.

I sighed, trying to put on a happy face. I was happy to be back, but knowing I had to fess up to Mom put a damper on the whole thing.

This should be a happy thing, dangit! Why'd I have to go and screw up?

I made my way off of the train, and quickly spotted Mom and Aunt Celestia perched on a nearby bench, all smiles. It was pretty obvious Mom, at least, was covering up some significant worries about me; I didn't even bother trying to crack Celestia's poker-face.

Probably just worrying about me in general.

I kept up my smile as I trotted up, hoping to reassure her, and Mom hopped off of her bench and gave me a warm, soft hug. Oh, I had missed those...

After a few seconds we broke apart, and Celestia trotted up as well, giving me a courteous nod. "Welcome back, Cozy."

"Thanks! I'm glad to be home. Staying at the kirin village was fun, but I didn't realize how much I'd miss home after just a few days. I guess it kinda snuck up on me; I used to be fine pretty much anywhere!"

I snickered uneasily, and saw the two of them exchange a look. Luna smiled down at me warmly, though I still got a sense something was bothering her.

"Well, you will always be able to come back home, Cozy."

Something about the way she said that seemed important, but I was more focused on the simple fact of her affection.

"Aww... Thanks, Mom. I know."

Celestia leaned in. "So, how was your trip? Applejack told us some of what happened; it sounded like you were sent to solve quite a difficult problem."

I snickered uneasily. "Yeah... the map sure knows how to play a mean joke, sending me in to deal with that. I didn't really handle it all that well, though things turned out okay. But, umm..."

I looked up at the two of them and hesitated, and forced my voice out. "I, uh, I wanted to let you know I did break the rules, Mom."

Mom recoiled very slightly in surprise, then cocked her head. "Er... to what rule do you refer?"

I went for something like a smile, and ended up with a grimace. Dumb face. Traitor! "W-well, you said not to take any unnecessary risks, and I did kinda pick a fight with a kirin. Sorta. I mean, I was trying to train them, and I thought it was important, and I took one of those fireproofing potions! But... that's still not really an excuse, huh?"

I sighed. Luna looked like she was going to say something, but while she hesitated Celestia beat her to it. "Oh? And how do you think you ought to be punished for this transgression?"

I flinched, my mind suddenly racing. Wait, she wants ME to decide?! That's not fair! How should I know?!

If I pick something really lenient they'll just be even more angry!

It felt a bit like I was spinning as I tried to formulate some kind of response. "U-uh, well, I'm not sure...? I guess, what would make you feel better...?"

Oh, that was DUMB. Ugh!

This wasn't really a good time for me to just speak my feelings.

Celestia raised an eyebrow, and I saw the ghost of a smile on her lips for a split second. "What would make us feel better? Do you believe that is the purpose of punishment?"

I froze up. "W-well no, technically...? It's supposed to be to, uh, to teach me to respect the rules and authority, right? Punishment just to make somepony feel better is just revenge... right?"

Come on, I know the answer to that already! Stop messing this up!

I just need to focus, right? Think it through. Strategize. But how the heck am I supposed to strategize around this?! I don't WANT to manipulate them into punishing me more lightly!

Celestia nodded as I fought internally. "That is correct. So, given that, what would you do to make yourself respect the rules better?"

"I don't know!" I blurted out, and realized I was shaking slightly. Get it together! "S-sorry, I'm just not sure... Um... can I get a minute to try to think it over?"

I suddenly felt a wing wrap around me, and looked up to see Mom staring at me seriously. "Cozy, we're not going to punish you." She shot Celestia a flat look before returning her focus to me. "Can you explain why you did what you did?"

Not punish me...? Does that mean she's just going to accept that I'm a disappointment...?

I hesitated. "B-but even if I do, it's just an excuse, isn't it...?"

Mom sighed. "Sweetie, if you break the rules for a good reason... you do understand why I asked you to stay safe and avoid unnecessary risks in the first place, don't you? I didn't mean to prevent you from doing what had to be done, I just wanted you to always think about your own safety. So, tell me... did you consider your own safety, the risks and benefits?"

I chewed my lip, and tried to force myself to be honest, short-circuiting any attempt to overthink it. "N-not fully. I didn't see her as a threat, really. I mean... I might not have my powers, but I can still fight really well. I did take the fireproofing potion, just in case. I ended up not needing it, I kinda... I kinda avoided her flames on instinct and took her down easily enough when she turned into a nirik anyway."

Celestia and Mom traded another meaningful glance. Mom gave me a little squeeze. "Were you harmed?"

I scoffed. "I mean, eventually she busted my lip with a lucky shot, but it's already healed. Nothing I don't get whenever I train with Dash over in the human world. And things went well past there! I think it turned out okay, overall. I actually had a lot of fun..."

Mom nuzzled me. "I am glad to hear it. And so, why do you feel you made a mistake?"

I sighed. "I was being kinda arrogant. And way too forceful, I-I think... if I could have stopped and explained myself to River better, I could have skipped some of the awkwardness at the start, and probably done things better. I got lucky that she's just understanding like that... and I also had to be kinda manipulative, using her own guilt against her. I also got lucky not getting hurt worse when I really ticked her off..."

Mom hummed, considering. "You're aware that any fight brings with it the risk of injury, are you not?"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah... I guess I felt like it was a risk worth taking, since I didn't see another way to bring her around."

She rubbed my mane and smiled. "So you felt it was a necessary risk. It does sound like you've learned from the experience, and will be more tactful in the future, as well. I'm proud of you."

I spluttered. "But I messed up!"

Celestia snickered. "Everyone makes mistakes, Cozy. Punishments and discipline are meant to help a pony learn from those mistakes, but it sounds like you've already grasped the lesson from yours."

"That... makes sense, but..." I shook my head, trying to wrap my head around it. Celestia smirked at me, perching on the ground to get her head level closer to mine. Uh-oh. Here comes one of those tricky lessons.

"Cozy, I gather you decided to teach River martial arts for self-control. I have a question; why didn't you simply punish her?" I was confused, and she pressed on. "You are certainly capable of it, are you not? By the sounds of it, you could easily have hospitalized her, had you chosen to. Threatened to come back again, if she ever hurt her child again. Why didn't you?"

I was starting to see where she was going with this, but it still felt like a tough question. "That... wouldn't work. I mean, maybe? I guess it might, but... it didn't work on me in the long run, did it?"

That's when it clicked, and I froze in place. Celestia just watched me as I processed what I'd said and worked out something else to say. "I... I know punishment doesn't work, from experience. The only point to it is if there's literally no other way to get someone to stop. Fear doesn't last forever; it turns to hate, which just motivates even more problems."

Celestia nodded, a glint in her eyes. I groaned inwardly, knowing she'd gotten me good, as she started speaking again. "And given that it isn't effective, why would we seek to punish you for something you already want to improve on? It wouldn't make much sense, would it?"

I took a deep breath, feeling a sense of calm wash over me as I processed all of it. "Not really. I mean, while it's not exactly parenting, I guess I was doing the same kind of thing with River; trying to teach her something and fix her problems..."

Mom snickered, squeezing me gently with her wing. "While there are other aspects, such as protecting, providing for, and supporting one's children that go with parenting, a great deal of it is simple mentorship and guidance."

I leaned into Mom, closing my eyes and resting a moment as I thought it over. "I guess I see that, now. I did learn a lot about parents and kids hanging out with River and Pine these past few days."

Mom's voice came to me as I felt her hoof brush through my mane. "I am unsurprised! You are quite observant."

I heard Celestia hum in thought before speaking. "I imagine their relationship was quite different from yours with Luna."

I thought back, considering that, and I opened my eyes and nodded. "Yeah, it really was. Pine's not..." How to put this tactfully? "... Pine's more of a kid than I am? I guess?"

Mom snorted. "You mean he is immature?"

I groaned. "I don't wanna be mean about it. He's just, uhh... a lot more carefree, and doesn't think things through as much. I don't think that's a bad thing... it just seems like he hasn't had a lot of bad stuff happen to him, so he hasn't really had a reason to be all that careful. River has to be, umm... I guess she has to be a bit more strict with him, a lot of the time, especially whenever he's trying something new."

Celestia quirked an eyebrow. "It doesn't sound as though you disapprove of that, though."

I rolled my eyes. "I mean, I maybe would have, if I'd only seen it from the outside. But that colt can get way too rambunctious. I thought I was being reckless with the way I taught River, but Pine takes it to a new level. Trying to teach him martial arts was really hard, because he kept getting over-excited and going crazy. He ended up hurting River a couple times in practice, and he got himself hurt a few times, too."

Celestia smirked at that. "He does sound like a playful, if overzealous, foal. How did River handle it?"

I scoffed. "That's the thing. Since I was the instructor, she was deferring to me. But I'd seen how she handled it when he got over-excited, so I took her example and sat him down for a while, let him cool off, and I... well, I tried to teach him the way I was taught. Focus on control, and keep your mind on learning, not winning, because we're there to learn, not score 'points'."

Mom let go of me and stood up, and we began the walk home as I kept talking. "That stuff didn't work for him as well as it did for me, though... I ended up just focusing on teaching him breathing exercises. He'd gone nirik when he got really frustrated, so we focused on learning to spot the signs of anger getting too high, and how to stop yourself short when that's happening. Just breathe, y'know? That seemed to work a lot better for him, once he got the idea."

Celestia nodded. "I've often been reminded of a simple lesson, easy to forget; how you teach a pony depends on the pony. Everyone is different, so teaching methods must accommodate that. Trying to force somepony to learn the same way as others will just make them miserable."

"Huh." I took that in and considered it. "I guess I ended up figuring that out more on instinct than anything. It's not that different from manipulating somepony, though; you have to think about how they think, what they care about. That sorta thing."

Celestia smiled at me with that glint in her eye again, and I realized I'd completed her thesis for her. It took me a second, and then I facehoofed.

"That's the idea, isn't it? Parenting is largely about teaching, and teaching needs to adapt to the pony in question, so parenting does too. Ugh, it's so obvious!"

Mom laughed and nudged me gently as we walked. "Many things are obvious in retrospect, but obscure on first consideration."

I shook my head with a smirk. "You two are too much."

Celestia took on a mischievous grin. "Feeling a bit dunked on?"

I gawped at her, and both she and Mom broke out into a fit of laughter. It took me a second, but I soon joined in. Once we'd collected ourselves, I looked up at Celestia curiously.

"So I guess your point is that I've had the wrong sort of idea about... well, about Mom and I?"

Celestia started slightly. Ah, she didn't think I'd dig that far into it...

She cleared her throat. "Well, it does seem that may be the case..."

I glanced at Mom, who seemed a little uncomfortable. I pressed into her slightly, and did my best to seem inquisitive instead of worried.

"How do you think of it?"

Mom cleared her throat, considering it for a few moments. "I'd say we are... partners. We're both working towards your growth and maturity, and we are family. We both care for each other's well-being. If I must reprimand or correct you, it is only out of that concern."

I chewed that over, considering it. "That sounds like how I used to see things, back when we first met. I guess I've let... well, everything that's been going on get in the way of that."

I saw a look of pain flash across Mom's face before she collected herself. She looked at me as warmly as she could, under the circumstances. "I just do not wish for you to be afraid of me. Or afraid of losing me. We are in this together."

I pressed into her, wanting to somehow burn out her doubts, but I knew exactly what she was talking about. I took a deep breath. "I'll try. I g-guess I've just gotten to a point where..." I hate this mushy stuff. But it's the truth! And it's what I need to say!. "... the point where I can't handle losing you. I just, just can't."

I felt her wing wrap around me again, and we just walked in silence for a few moments before she responded. "I know, Cozy. I feel much the same. But if we let those concerns prevent us from being ourselves around each other, then we lose the very relationship we are trying to protect."

I let that sink in as we walked. Eventually, Celestia cleared her throat and perked up. "On a lighter note, how did things ultimately go for River and Pine?"

I perked up as well, eager to get out of my own head. "Oh, pretty great, actually! Even when Pine went nirik again, River kept her cool and we got it under control, just like I'd shown her. And by the time I left, it seemed like both of them were really getting their feelings under control. I guess it was good for me, too... I almost lost my patience a few times, so by the time I left I really got how hard that can be to deal with. Autumn Blaze was pretty great, too! She was a blast to hang out with. I promised all three of them I'd start writing after I got home."

Mom grinned. "Look at you, making friends wherever you go."

I restrained a scoff, and then thought better of it. Just be yourself, right? Come on... I rolled my eyes at her. "Well, y'know, I need some kirin for my inevitable takeover. Those villages won't burn themselves down."

Mom's eyes shot wide in surprise, and after a moment she grinned at me. "Ahh, so that is the real reason for the martial-arts training. I knew all of that 'self-control' stuff must be nonsense."

I giggled. "Kirin are like unicorns, except with more destructive potential! It's perfect. Now I just need to get enough of them together to keep things warm after the windigoes show up, and my plan will really have legs."

Mom quirked an eyebrow. "But how will you keep them angry enough to keep the winter at bay?"

I laughed. "That's what I'll keep Pinkie around for! I'll just bribe her with sweets to annoy them constantly. Pretty sure that's fool-proof."

All three of us looked around, expectantly. Nothing happened. Celestia frowned.

"Honestly, I thought for certain—"

"Right? It seemed like perfect timing."

All three of us shared a laugh at that.

Author's Note:

Didn't roll a hit on the Random Pinkie Encounter table.

Comments

[Voltaje]

Yah finally got here, today I started and today I got here, now I can contenue with my life :D; I wonder when sunset will meet sunset, right now isekai probably wouldn't mind meeting another counterpart, so cozy could bring her over, by the way, sunset travels Universes, not dimensions XD, the multiverse where sunset isekai belongs to do not have dimensions.

[Genjen]

Well, I'll admit I was iffy about the continuity of the story getting all mixed up with the Mirror story and alternate timelines that are now immaterial, but this has been an enjoyable read! I miss our super heroine but her learning from the ground up is a lot of fun too, so this risky move story wise paid off in time I imagine. I do think we've been getting a ton of heavy material and far less lighter character moments though. Thanks for continuing this strange tale of Cozy Glow and seeing how far down the rabbit hole goes.

[Cackling Moron]

It's cute! And gets into the importance of punishment as a means to an end, not an end in itself! And dunked on gets brought back, hah.

[Nyronus]

I could just NOT tell her.

I already know how she feels about that! Look at how she reacted to Sunny and all of that! If I feel like something is skirting the rules, I have to tell her.

But I'm not sure if it counts, and I don't want to make her upset!

I can't just weasel out of it. If she gets angry it's my own fault.

Woo! Call back to the issue discussed in the last chapter!

...

Woo...

I snickered uneasily. "Yeah... the map sure knows how to play a mean joke, sending me in to deal with that. I didn't really handle it all that well, though things turned out okay. But, umm..."

Like I said, the Map just loves its fucking Irony.

Not punish me...? Does that mean she's just going to accept that I'm a disappointment...?

Wow kid, that is some impressive mental gymnastics to stick that self-loathing landing.

Take it from an old pro, you got talent.

Celestia nodded, a glint in her eyes. I groaned inwardly, knowing she'd gotten me good, as she started speaking again.

... okay, but you don't have to be so smug.

Celestia took on a mischievous grin. "Feeling a bit dunked on?"

Oh god, the cringe. The no doubt deliberately and ironic unironic cringe. It's too much. It's too much. I surrender, Sun Horse. I surrender.

I pressed into her, wanting to somehow burn out her doubts, but I knew exactly what she was talking about. I took a deep breath. "I'll try. I g-guess I've just gotten to a point where..." I hate this mushy stuff. But it's the truth! And it's what I need to say!. "... the point where I can't handle losing you. I just, just can't."

Solo, you gotta be careful. I've been warning you about that Adorabetes. Our bodies can only take so much heartfelt love before the toll because irreversible!

I restrained a scoff, and then thought better of it. Just be yourself, right? Come on... I rolled my eyes at her. "Well, y'know, I need some kirin for my inevitable takeover. Those villages won't burn themselves down."

Mom's eyes shot wide in surprise, and after a moment she grinned at me. "Ahh, so that is the real reason for the martial-arts training. I knew all of that 'self-control' stuff must be nonsense."

I giggled. "Kirin are like unicorns, except with more destructive potential! It's perfect. Now I just need to get enough of them together to keep things warm after the windigoes show up, and my plan will really have legs."

snnnnnnrk

Man, this was a good conclusion to this whole mini-arc.

... and then a voice in my mind goes "Okay, but what about the wings?" And then I wonder, and I guess I'll just have to wait.

[SoloBrony]

10047769
yeah, did feel it was getting too heavy without enough levity for too long, so the next arc is lighter. It took me a while to write because I just wasn't in a 'fun and zany' headspace at all for a bit, there.

[GMBlackjack]

"Oh? And how do you think you ought to be punished for this transgression?"

I flinched, my mind suddenly racing. Wait, she wants ME to decide?! That's not fair! How should I know?!

Can’t decide if I should laugh or if I should feel sorry for her. Can I feel both?

Celestia smirked at me, perching on the ground to get her head level closer to mine. Uh-oh. Here comes one of those tricky lessons.

Celestia’s over a thousand years old, she’s got LOTS of those under her belt.

"... Pine's more of a kid than I am? I guess?"

Mom snorted. "You mean he is immature?"

Cozy, meet normal children. Normal children, meet Cozy.

Celestia took on a mischievous grin. "Feeling a bit dunked on?"

Megalovania starts playing.

Didn't roll a hit on the Random Pinkie Encounter table.

You know she was watching, though.

-GM, master of CHAPS.