Empathy 2
I settled comfortably into the bench next to my sister, giving her a playful nudge.
"Are you sure you're fine being up during the day like this, Luna?"
Luna smirked at me. "Come now, sister, you know that my schedule has become more erratic than that lately."
I nodded, taking a deep breath of the cool air. Not long until the Running of the Leaves, now. "After all the trouble you had participating in the activities at Silver Shoals, I have to admit I am surprised at how easily you've adapted now."
Luna gave a shrug and a small smile. "Well, it's a mutual effort. Cozy's schedule varies between day and night, and we both sleep in naps. I still sleep primarily during daylight hours, but I do try to make myself more available during the day."
I cocked my head at that. "Cozy varies her schedule? I only ever see her during the day."
Luna snickered at that. "Well, naturally. How often have you gone looking for her at night? But you likely wouldn't see her out and about, regardless. We spend most of our time together at night."
I smiled at that, feeling a sense of relief. "I had wondered how often you two actually interacted, given your sleep schedules. It's reassuring to know you found something that works for both of you."
Luna giggled at that, nudging me. "Really, sister. Did you think I adopted her, only to sleep through her life? Don't be absurd."
I rolled my eyes. "Come now, Lulu. Don't be like that. From an outside perspective it's an obvious question to ask, and since I only come around every few days I haven't had the chance to see what your home life is actually like, really. I always spend my time here teaching Cozy."
Luna nodded. "We're both grateful for that. She really is quite industrious in her studies; she often comes to me for assistance, and I fear someday soon she may outstrip my own understanding in some fields. She's already tested out of her grade-level for this year."
I snickered. "I know precisely what you mean! The questions she asks are both insightful and quite difficult, sometimes, even for me. I'd thought teaching a non-unicorn magic would be difficult for entirely different reasons, I have to admit."
Luna's look became far-off at that. "You didn't see her before, as Quillon. Her grasp of magic was quite impressive; especially the combat arts. In that world, she had fallen quite behind in her studies, due to her time in Tartarus and encased in stone... but she worked through it, with the two of us. It encourages me greatly to see she has not lost that drive along with her powers; I did worry she would."
I considered that for a few moments. "Perhaps it has provided even more encouragement for her. She seems determined to reclaim her position as a hero; her focus in the studies of alchemy and magic, at least, seems driven by that pursuit."
Luna adjusted her wings a bit in discomfort, her face sinking a bit. "Indeed, the desire to return to her old life is a strong one. I should rather see her enjoy her childhood; enough of it has been robbed from her as it is. Yet, I cannot say I do not understand her position, either; I was immensely proud of her accomplishments, and I, too, miss her heroic persona at times."
I nudged into her again with a smile, catching her eye. "You do seem relentlessly supportive of her efforts. It seems your daughter has a fan in you; and here I thought perhaps you would try to gently dissuade her from that lifestyle."
Luna grimaced. "Do you believe I should? My instinct is to keep her safe, yet..."
Ah, perhaps I went too far with that comment...
I shook my head. "Obviously, protecting your child is important to you. But you also can't let that get in the way of them growing up. Where you draw that line is... well, that has to be a decision the two of you make together. That's why you let her go on this quest, isn't it?"
She took in a deep breath and nodded, closing her eyes. "It is. I know that over-protectiveness can be dangerous as well. It's something she and I have discussed a few times."
I raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And what does she think?"
Luna laughed, rolling her eyes. "She is so bent on keeping me from worrying she would likely agree to virtually anything! For instance, I merely told her that she did not need to go behind my back to pursue power and heroics, and now she has it in her head that there is an ironclad rule that she must inform me of anything she does to become stronger. Which, I will admit, does make keeping track of her pursuits easier, but..."
I grimaced. "But since she thinks of it as a rule, she's afraid of breaking it, and making you angry."
Luna nodded. "She does seem to understand parenting in terms of rules. In the other timeline, I once asked her to quiet down, as I was sleeping; thus, there is now a rule, to her, that the house must be kept silent during the day. She becomes quite apologetic any time she fails in that regard. 'You should probably do that outside' became 'no alchemy indoors'. There are even things I never asked for; her room is kept so immaculately clean, it frankly unnerves me."
I leaned back a bit in shock at Luna's explanation ."W-well... those do sound like reasonable policies, up to a point..."
Luna scoffed. "Up to a point, but it's gotten such that I am often nervous about what I say to her, lest it be construed as an order. It was not like this before, either! As Quillon, she met me on her terms, and it was up to me to convince her to stay. She was just... a foal scared witless, but absolutely determined to save her friend from some threat. I was simply a friend to her in a dire moment, and the rest followed from that."
Luna blew out an exhausted breath. "I met her as a hero, first and foremost, and while I worried about one so young doing something so dangerous, the simple fact was that she was incredibly capable. I... suppose I just took her in when she needed it. I suspected she was Cozy Glow, but her actions and behavior seemed so contrary to what I'd been told of her that I decided to overlook that. I understood the need for second chances quite well, of course."
Luna rested back in the bench and slowly shook her head. "After she began to regain her memories... she grew more quiet, over time. More sullen, more intense in her training, and less independent. The energetic, confident filly who had stormed into my life was gone, though she gradually became more sincere and considerate as time passed, as well. She came to me more and more for advice, for companionship, for comfort... and closed out the rest of the world, to an extent. She was terrified of relapsing, becoming 'Cozy Glow' again, and... something she told me, she took risks the way she did because she felt the need to prove she had some sort of worth to herself."
I winced. "And you believe that's what drives her current behavior?"
Luna nodded sharply. "It's become obvious. Whereas she seemed to overcome that sense of worthlessness in the other timeline, once she had the full force of her memories restored, and her accomplishments were rendered... well, immaterial, I believe her confidence was destroyed as well. While she's been doing better, making friends once more and regaining some of her optimism, I find her attitude towards me... difficult."
I nodded, giving Luna a little squeeze to remind her I was there for her. "I can see why. You remember the last time she went through a self-doubting phase like this, only back then she was more independent and confident. By the sounds of things, you need to watch your tongue around her very carefully now, and that's not healthy for a relationship."
Luna groaned. "And no lie! I asked her to pick up groceries once; now the house is always stocked. I commented that I liked her cooking; now she cooks an evening breakfast for me regularly. She even replaced our microwave! I never gave her bits for that, which means she spent her own money to do it!" Luna sighed, rubbing her head, and I cringed slightly from what she'd said. I nuzzled Luna while I thought of what to say.
"Well, for what it's worth, I don't believe all of those things are driven by fear. She clearly loves you, even if she's perhaps, erm, overly accommodating in some respects."
Luna nodded and pressed back into me, smiling softly. "I know that, of course. And it's hardly as though this defines our entire relationship; the time we spend together can be so uplifting, it's easy for me to forget my troubles entirely. For all that I fret, she's brightened my nights considerably since returning. Indeed, I have missed her sorely just from her short absence to the kirin village."
That brought a smile back to my face. "I'm happy for you. We usually only talk about what's troubling you, so I had started to wonder!" I snickered. "But I am glad to hear it's not all stress and concern at your house."
Luna snorted. "My human counterpart seems to feel I've just overthought everything, and perhaps she is right. I... I tried broaching the topic with Cozy, telling her I had trouble knowing where to draw a line, and I believe that may have made things more difficult between us. I have grown to trust her, and I believed we were ready to have such a talk, but I think she may have taken what I said to mean that I was afraid I would drive her away. She grew even more submissive after that."
Hmm... I wonder how I can illustrate this issue to Cozy, and bring them closer together...
I began formulating a plan of attack, so to speak, as I responded. "Well, now that we know what her old home was like, it's not hard to see why she has the perception of parenting and authority that she does. And now that she has a loving home, she's obviously going to do whatever she can to hold on to it..."
My eyes widened slightly as something clicked in place, and Luna looked up at me curiously. "Sister?"
"Ah, sorry, I was just thinking... Cozy lost all of her abilities, her accomplishments, and she wasn't even aware that she would be able to keep her home on returning here, from what I've gathered. I hadn't considered it all together before, but... I think, perhaps, she sees her home with you as the only thing she has left to lose. That is to say, without you... she has nothing."
Luna balked. "But I would never turn her out like that!"
I sighed. "She's already lost one home in this world, Luna. She thought she would lose you, too, when she returned. Sunset also told me some of what she experienced during her... Sunset called it her 'nightmare', in the forest. She said the most painful part was a vision of you, rejecting her, and that it wasn't the first time Cozy has been terrified of that."
Luna's breath caught. "I... I think I might know of another time. After she thought she had made me angry, I found her absolutely devastated, panicked... she'd even torn apart her bed spread in some kind of fit. It was shortly after she had returned, and I was shocked at how scared of me she seemed. I was still adjusting to the changes in her personality between this world and the other, and after we met Bree I... I simply attributed all of her fear and odd behavior to an expectation that I would be like her. But in retrospect, I think that her reaction... it makes sense if she was afraid I would disown her."
I brushed Luna's mane gently. "Given that her own sense of self-worth was so troubled after her return, it's not surprising she also doubted her worth to others so severely. But then, she has been getting better, hasn't she?"
She nodded slowly, gaze distant. "She has, or so I thought... But then, why would she be going even farther out of her way to placate me?"
I considered it for a short while, humming as I did so. "Honestly, I'm not sure. At this point, all we can do is discuss it with her."
Luna sighed. "I just hope doing so does not drive her even farther towards such extremes. Honestly! I was almost glad when I found the alcohol, as I believed it provided a good moment to put my hoof down with her and establish guidelines, while also showing her I was not like her birth-mother. Instead, she barely seemed perturbed by my accusation, and there was a reasonable explanation. That would be the end of it, but she practically cowered when I approached her; then I made a single errant comment about the difficulty in setting rules with her and things get worse!"
I listened to her, cocked my head, thought about it, and could not resist a laugh. Luna shot a betrayed glare at me. "Sister! What about any of this is funny?!"
I suppressed my laugh down to a snicker and looked at my sister. "Luna... she's worried about your feelings. By the sounds of it, she trusted you to listen to reason, and only became troubled when she thought you were upset."
Luna froze, and then facehoofed. "She's just trying to make raising her easier...?"
I gave her another squeeze and looked down at her affectionately. "Like I said earlier, sister; she's probably more motivated by her love for you than by fear, at this point. Or, I should hope so."
Luna grumbled, shaking her head and kneading it with her hoof. "Teenagers are supposed to be rebellious, are they not? Do not tell me even that has changed in this era!"
I laughed again and rolled my eyes. "No, Lulu, you just got yourself a strange one. But then, you did adopt a hero; what did you expect? Temper tantrums and demands for toys?"
"Yes!" Luna threw her hooves up in frustration, though she had a smirk. "On some level, at some point, yes! An unusual child, certainly, but still a child! She should not be trying to raise herself, trying to make my life easier...! Hmph."
Luna pouted adorably, and I just rolled my eyes, getting a snicker from her. I shot her an amused look. "Are you seriously trying to complain that your child is too well-behaved?"
Luna huffed. "It's not as though she is flawless. She does make mistakes; the occasional thoughtless or rude remark, inconsiderate decision, that sort of thing. Lately I worry that if I comment on such matters, she will take it so severely that I will find her mute one day!"
I flinched, chewing my lip over. "Apologies, Luna. I didn't mean to make light of your problem, just... highlight the positive side of things."
Luna cast her gaze downward, sighing. "I've been doing some reading, you know. After finding out about Bree, my human counterpart lent me some texts on abused children. In some cases, they are known to be overly submissive. I just never would have expected that from Cozy Glow, or Quillon for that matter..."
I resumed brushing her mane. "Well, she did form a bond with you before she remembered her original home. And... from what I've gathered, that home was happy, once, too, long ago. Or at least it was not the nightmare it became. You can't take it personally that she is going through this."
Luna shuddered, and I realized with some alarm that she was on the verge of tears. "I just want my happy, sassy filly back! She had no trouble speaking her mind or, or goofing off with me before! I've seen her scared of me, I keep asking myself, what did I do to make her feel that way?! And now you tell me she's been worried about me throwing her out of our home – why would she ever think I could to that to her?! Losing her would be every bit as bad for me as for her!"
I jumped slightly at the sudden outpouring of emotion, holding her close.
What just happened?! One moment, things seemed fine, and then this?
I kept brushing Luna's mane as she shuddered again, more violently, and leaned in to me. She grit her teeth, but I saw her start crying softly, and I felt a combination of sadness and confusion.
"Luna? I... I thought you said things were good with her?"
Luna cringed and buried her face in my barrel.
"It hasn't been the same at all as it was before. And while she's been great to me, how much of that was motivated by all of... this? How much of her happiness or comfort with me is for my benefit?" She shuddered again. "Do I really understand her at all? Now that I've started to understand it, I can't stop seeing it as I think back!"
I spoke very softly as I held her. "Oh, Lulu... you can't blame yourself for this. You've been nothing but kind to her, and I'm sure she's just trying to do likewise. And it isn't as though she's unhappy! Please, just try to remember that this is a recovery process; she'll get better as long as we're there for it."
Luna nodded into me. We stayed there for some time before she was ready to pull away and clean herself up. We both wanted to be in high spirits for Cozy's return, to welcome her back to Ponyville. We made small talk, just to clear the air and pass the time, and soon enough the train was pulling up.
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Well, one can rather see why...poor Cozy
I remember the microwave!
Yeah, see? Me and Celestia? Same wavelength, like that.
Raw though. Legit concerns. And emotions. I've heard of those.
10046926
That was a joke... sorry I didn't execute well lol
10046927
Oh no, you're fine. I'm just goofing off, heh. I didn't take any offense.
I honestly cannot believe someone downvoted this story like wtf, it’s funny, has amazin pacing, actual themes to each story, and has like three prequel what’s not to like?
10047015
They just jealous.
Speaking seriously, who knows? I can imagine someone being badly turned off by any number of things in it. I was awfully nervous about posting it for those same reasons. I just wish I'd had a better impact on them.
10047016
I can’t say I know much about writing stories since I suck at it, but I can at least guarantee that this is a good story. I’ve read a lot of stories and this is definitely up there with some of my favs like odyssey of a thief(Adventure/AU), MLDC: Shazam(Adventure/Drama), an infinie numbers of pinkie(Adventure/Drama), and starlight glimmer fixes everything(Comedy, with like 100 different authors, you should be proud.) it’s a dang shame these story don’t get more exposure. I don’t think I’d be able to give you any good criticism ether beyond Grammar and Pacing but you do well on those too, these story need more exposure so more experienced authors/fans can give you some constructive criticism.
You really know how to fill your audience with dread, my man.
snrk
Sassy Moon Horse strikes... again?
Huh, things I didn't know I wanted to know about. Nice detail.
Say it with me, everyone: COZY HAS PTSD
Jesus.
Remember how I quipped about feelings of dread at the start of this chapter?
Can't say you didn't deliver, good sir.
Man, I thought we were coming around to a resolution on an abstract relationship issue and you just gotta make it too real for me, man.
Woo, this chapter was a ride, and hit new spots of goddamn feels. Ponies suffering I didn't even account for. Jeez. Curious to see where all this goes.
I can honestly imagine seeing cozy make herself mute on purpose
I myself was one of the rare mild-mannered teens. It is an interesting experience to think back and realize “you know, I only really rebelled once that one day, and decided that was a stupid idea.”
Hmm. I buckled myself down for the author's note, but then as I read this, until the end I was just thinking "This is all stuff we already know from Cozy's POV, more or less." I'm curious, why exactly was this hard? Most of it you had previously stated through Cozy directly, or those talking about her. Was it Luna beginning to realize the deeper issue at play here?
-GM, master of inks and blinks.
Quite the excellent conversation, here.
10075822
Most people who go through that and say they're from loving homes, in my experience, only think their home was loving because they already hated themselves and thus dismissed any abuse towards them as justified.
Could apply, could not.