Heya there mang! I just came by to check out this story and my GOD I'm glad I did! I checked out your writing style and it was excellent! I looked at your grammar and it was amazing! I saw your plot-line and it was superb for a below 2000 word story! Everything about this is fantastic so far mang! Here's hoping more attention will come your way! Hope ya didn't mind, but I just had to make a reading of this mang!
10035523 It's not anywhere on the Internet besides a Discord chat, I'm afraid. I'll talk to Amp and try to get him to post it so that I can sneak the # into the description.
Yeah I stopped readIng about half way though. About as interesting as any other ”insert mare of your choice” fuckfic recently surfacing, and pretty much just as forgettable.
10036205 Sorry to disappoint you. I'm planning the fic as a whole to have some "chill" time between sessions and at least some attempt at story and characterization, if that helps. There's only so much to go off of when it comes to minor characters but for this first chapter I might've fallen a teensy bit into the trap of "don't make characters in a clopfic hot-swappable with little impact on the scene."
10038207 Thanks for the suggestion! I've already got names picked out for most of the chapters, although I don't really have anything good for Wednesday...xP
Haven't read story yet (will at some point), but noticed the names of the chapters are song references. Thus far, I've seen a song from the 70s, 90s, 2000s, and 2010s. I wonder if an 80s song will be making an appearance in the future.
10243398 lol, ok, that's a pretty funny error. fixed.
10243426 "Life wasn't a porno, dammit" was meant to be a bit of lampshade hanging at how sexualized the story actually is, so I suppose I accomplished that. :P You raise some good, thought-provoking points here, though. It's tough to write convincing romance as someone who hasn't experienced a romantic relationship themselves, and I was worried about this being a shortcoming when trying to write sex scenes; I suppose I was right to be. I've tried to put in at least some of the romantic side so far but it's mostly been raunchy, blatantly over-the-top sex. I do want the story to be depthier emotionally, but I kept getting caught up in writing the sex scenes.
I was already planning, even before this comment, for the coming chapters to tone down on the "over-the-top sex" factor quite a bit, both because it was getting old and because the "hey, shouldn't he be suffering from dangerous dehydration by now?" aspect was a quick and dirty way to segue into it by "forcing the issue" and injecting a jolt of realism where there was previously very little.
I really enjoyed reading this comment, by the by. The best constructive criticism I've gotten. Some things I'm definitely going to carry with me for the future. Thank you, sincerely.
aftercare cuddling
Oh no! You monster!
Congrats dude! This gets a like, no questions asked!
And I ain't complaining.
derpicdn.net/img/2012/7/23/53557/full.gif
Heya there mang! I just came by to check out this story and my GOD I'm glad I did! I checked out your writing style and it was excellent! I looked at your grammar and it was amazing! I saw your plot-line and it was superb for a below 2000 word story! Everything about this is fantastic so far mang! Here's hoping more attention will come your way! Hope ya didn't mind, but I just had to make a reading of this mang!
Audio Linky Link: https://youtu.be/j9rO7FGlCdA
(I do not mean to offend anyone with this comment!)
aftercare cuddling
Ok I'm out, I'm all the way for lewd stuff but this crosses the line...
10035174 10035396
Heheheheh...
10035206 10035320
10035287
Y'see, I knew I'd heard this from somewhere when I was coming up with a title, but I'd forgotten where...
10035335
Oh my gosh, dude! Thanks so much!
There should be more vapour trail stories with humans, here take this like
can't you at least give us the Derpi number, please?
10035523
It's not anywhere on the Internet besides a Discord chat, I'm afraid. I'll talk to Amp and try to get him to post it so that I can sneak the # into the description.
Finally, this is the first clopfic of Humano x Vapor Trail that I have found.
10035480
It's one of my favorite lines from Jon. Glad I could jog your memory.
Yeah I stopped readIng about half way though. About as interesting as any other ”insert mare of your choice” fuckfic recently surfacing, and pretty much just as forgettable.
10036205
Sorry to disappoint you. I'm planning the fic as a whole to have some "chill" time between sessions and at least some attempt at story and characterization, if that helps. There's only so much to go off of when it comes to minor characters but for this first chapter I might've fallen a teensy bit into the trap of "don't make characters in a clopfic hot-swappable with little impact on the scene."
10035523
It's up. 2248719.
I got a name idea for the second chapter if you’re looking for one, Saturday in the Park. (It’s a song by Chicago)
10038207
Thanks for the suggestion! I've already got names picked out for most of the chapters, although I don't really have anything good for Wednesday...xP
10038241
How about Wednesday Morning Dew by Majic Ship?
Well ok sign me up I wanna see where this goes
Have a thumbs up and I'm gona watch this for new chapters.
10038601
Ooh, now that I could work with...thanks!
Haven't read story yet (will at some point), but noticed the names of the chapters are song references. Thus far, I've seen a song from the 70s, 90s, 2000s, and 2010s. I wonder if an 80s song will be making an appearance in the future.
Nice start! The story I mentioned, was planned as a oneshortz bit got so long that I split it into two parts
Who's your preferred exorcist, good sir? I can have them expedited here with a call.
10243398
lol, ok, that's a pretty funny error. fixed.
10243426
"Life wasn't a porno, dammit" was meant to be a bit of lampshade hanging at how sexualized the story actually is, so I suppose I accomplished that. :P
You raise some good, thought-provoking points here, though. It's tough to write convincing romance as someone who hasn't experienced a romantic relationship themselves, and I was worried about this being a shortcoming when trying to write sex scenes; I suppose I was right to be. I've tried to put in at least some of the romantic side so far but it's mostly been raunchy, blatantly over-the-top sex. I do want the story to be depthier emotionally, but I kept getting caught up in writing the sex scenes.
I was already planning, even before this comment, for the coming chapters to tone down on the "over-the-top sex" factor quite a bit, both because it was getting old and because the "hey, shouldn't he be suffering from dangerous dehydration by now?" aspect was a quick and dirty way to segue into it by "forcing the issue" and injecting a jolt of realism where there was previously very little.
I really enjoyed reading this comment, by the by. The best constructive criticism I've gotten. Some things I'm definitely going to carry with me for the future. Thank you, sincerely.
Amazing