Mortal Kombat: Equestria

by Green Akers

Blood On The Saddle

Shao Kahn woke up the next morning in a pleasant mood, having relieved himself of the problems of the prior day. Despite Chrysalis's incessant pessimism, everything was still going according to plan, and only three candy-colored ponies stood in the way of his total domination of Earthrealm. He indulged in a few Sugar Cube Corner cupcakes for breakfast, then walked over to his office humming 'Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah' and offering pleasantries to everyone he met.

Upon reaching his office, Kahn burst through the doorway with a flourish and a smile, both of which disappeared quickly. "Good morning, Fr—gyah!" He jumped back in surprise at the sight that greeted him: In addition to his secretary, his office held approximately twenty other humanoid creatures, mostly dressed in dark colors and sporting pale skin, red eyes, and large, elongated fangs protruding from their mouths. A few members of the crowd held signs with the phrase 'Ve Vant Freedom' written on them. "What is the name of Bram Stoker is going on here?" Kahn demanded.

"A real live example of civil disobedience!" Fran squealed from behind a card table she had set up after Kahn had destroyed her previous desk. "All these vampires here are unhappy about the way you're treating their homeworld, so they've occupied your office and aren't leaving until you hear them out. Isn't this exciting?"

"I can hardly contain my excitement," Kahn grumbled sarcastically.

A tall, muscular vampire stepped forward from the group. "We are tired of your inaction, Kahn!" he declared. "We have watched you bleed our fair land dry for centuries, forcing us to pay tribute while watching you embark on foolish conquests and bury our cries for respect and justice under an avalanche of bureaucracy!"

Kahn smacked his face with his palm. "If I've told you idiots once, I've told you a thousand times, I can't unmerge you lowlifes from Outworld unless I have the right portal sphere! Besides, it's not my fault all those bills for Vaeternian independence keep getting killed in committee! My puppet Outworldian Congress has decided that it has better things to do, like raising taxes and building solid-gold statues in my likeness."

"It matters not!" the vampire thundered. "We are here, and we will wait no longer!"

"And we've already been waiting in here for...twenty! Twenty minutes! Ah, ah, ah!" a purple-skinned vampire added.

"Oh, for the love of..." Shao Kahn pointed a finger at Fran. "Re-schedule my breakfast appointment with Vladimir Putin," he ordered before turning back to scan the crowd of vampires. "Where's Nitara? I know she's behind this."

"She is also behind you." Kahn turned to see a scantily-clad woman with dark hair, long nails, and a mean-looking set of wings standing in the doorway.

"You sense of timing as is infuriating as ever, I see," Kahn groused.

Nitara smiled wickedly at Kahn. "I would have been here sooner, but I was giving an interview to Bill O'Reilly about your brutal reign over our realm. He's already demanding military intervention from the United States on our behalf."

"Not surprising, considering he's originally from your realm," Kahn mumbled under his breath.

Nitara stepped into the office and took her place in front of the other vampires. "I trust our delegation has given you our demands?"

"Yes," Kahn acknowledged, "and I will tell you, just as I have told them, that I have neither the time, the patience, nor the resources to do anything about them! Now, if you don't mind, kindly remove yourselves from my office and go jump in a lake!"

"Not this time!" Nitara roared. "We will not leave, and your forces are too weak to expel us! We shall remain here until you send an expedition force to Onaga's chambers to find and destroy the portal sphere that binds our worlds together!"

"And what if I don't?" Kahn growled.

Nitara glared back at the Outworld emperor. "We shall unleash our brethren on this accursed island," she declared, "and feast on all who inhabit it!"

Kahn squinted menacingly at Nitara. "Go ahead. Make my day. I recommend you try the changelings living in the dungeon as an appetizer. They'll add some variety to your diet, and I'm only renting them anyway."

"Have it your way!" Nitara turned and pointed at Fran. "We shall start with your perky assistant here!"

Fran shrieked and jumped out of her chair as the vampires turned to face her. "Wait!" she cried. "Y-You can't! I have to take notes for our meeting in an hour!"

Kahn turned and looked at Fran, who was backing into a corner as the vampires slowly closed in. "Wait—we have a meeting this morning?"

Fran nodded weakly. "You and Queen Chrysalis were going to discuss what to do about the odd number of fighters left in this round."

"That's right..." Shao Kahn scratched his chin and stared up at the ceiling for a moment.

Fran curled up in a fetal position in the corner and waved her crossed hands as the vampires in a weak attempt to scare them. "Please, you don't want to do this! I've read that vampires find B negative blood to be awfully bitter!"

"Hold on there!" Kahn suddenly leaped over Fran's card table, landing between her and the vampires. "Before you snack on my secretary, would you mind letting her bring up the list of competitors remaining in this round?" He lifted Fran out of the scrum, placed her back into her seat, then peered over her shoulder as she pulled up the list. "That's all I needed to know!" he said as he jabbed a finger at the screen. "Call off your hordes, Nitara—I have an offer you can't refuse!"

Nitara eyed Kahn suspiciously from the opposite corner of the room. "You're acquiescing to our demands, then?"

"Let's make a deal," Kahn offered. "It just so happens that I've got an opening—"

"No!" Nitara shouted. "We will not participate in your pointless meat-grinder of a competition! The odds are infinitely stacked in your favor, and my head still hurts from the last time I participated!"

"Yes, I recall that Captain Falcon messed you up pretty good," Kahn admitted, "and yes, normally I demand that you win the whole tournament before I give you back your homeland, but for one day only, you can get our Onaga destination vacation package, your very own portal sphere, and the immediate separation of your realm from Outworld for only one measly victory!"

"Only one victory?" Nitara's eyes widened at the surprising offer. "You have my attention."

"I'm not stoppin' there!" Kahn continued. "Accept this offer, and we'll throw in the most laughable, most feeble, least fearsome opponent in the history of history!" He hurried over to a nearby file cabinet and rifled through one of the drawers, eventually pulling out a newspaper clipping and holding it out towards Nitara. "Think you could beat this?"

Nitara burst out laughing at the clipping, which included a picture of Rainbow Dash with her eyes pointed in two different directions as she was giving an interview during her post-Scorpion stupor. "You can't be serious! This little pony can't possibly be competing in the tournament!"

"There were seven in the Equestrian contingent, actually," Kahn admitted, "and unfortunately, no one on my payroll has managed to beat a single one."

"That says more about the cruft you employ than anything else." Nitara stepped up and slashed the picture to pieces with one swipe of her hand. "I could corral this pony and suck her drier than a raisin without breaking a sweat."

"Then you'll accept my offer?" Kahn asked, flashing a sly grin.

"Yes," Nitara said as she jabbed a finger into Kahn's chest, "but you had better hold up your end of the bargain, Kahn...or else."

Kahn laughed off Nitara's threat. "Defeat this pony, Nitara," he proclaimed, "and I will personally deliver the sphere to you on a silver platter."

"Now that would be a sight to see." Nitara motioned to her fellow vampires, and the group slowly filed out of Kahn's office.

"You're still free to have the changelings over for lunch!" Kahn called down the hallway. He waited for a few moments until the vampires were out of sight, then ducked back into his office. "Go and find Chrysalis," he dictated to Fran. "Tell her that I have a special task for her to perform." He patted his assistant on the head. "After today, at long last, I shall be rid of that winged witch once and for all."

"You mean Rainbow Dash?" Fran asked.

"I mean Nitara." Shao Kahn walked back over to his file cabinet, pulled out a rainbow-colored wig styled to resemble Rainbow Dash's mane, and placed it on top of his skull helmet. "The pony is going to clean that vampire's clock today. I shall make sure of that."

---

Down on the beach, Twilight and Rarity spent the morning saying their goodbyes to Shining Armor as his team prepared to take 'Chrysalis' back to civilization to face the International Court of Justice. "It's too bad you have to leave so soon," Twilight lamented, wrapping her brother in a hug as she spoke. "I'm going to miss you."

"Why do you have to leave?" Rarity asked. "Surely your team is fully capable of taking Chrysalis back to...er...wherever is it you have to take her...by themselves."

Shining Armor shook his head. "Our mandate was to take Chrysalis into custody and bring her back to stand trial, and as the big cheese on this mission, I've got to go and make sure the goods are delivered."

Twilight sighed and stared down at the sand. "Goodbye, B. B. B. F. F."

"Aw, don't give me that tone!" Shining Armor reached over and placed his hoof under Twilight's chin, drawing her gaze back up to meet his. "I'm only saying goodbye for now," he clarified. "As soon as the paperwork clears, I'm grabbing Mom, Dad, Cadance, and everypony I can get my hooves on, and we're coming back to cheer you to victory! Believe me, I want to be here when you smack down old Skull Face and save the world from total destruction."

Twilight's expression brightened at Shining's words. "That would be great! So...what are you waiting for?" She pushed her brother towards the helicopter that waited behind him. "Hurry up and book that baddie!"

"Yes, ma'am!" Shining smiled and saluted his sister, then turned and ran for the chopper, hopping aboard just before the door closed.

Twilight and Rarity watched and waved as the UN choppers took off from the beach and disappeared into the sky. "Where is Rainbow Dash?" Rarity asked, as she and Twilight turned and started walking back towards the fighter huts. "It's considered poor etiquette to miss a parting of this magnitude."

"She went to check and see who she was fighting today," Twilight explained. "The island staff's been awfully slow updating the billboard lately, so she may still be waiting there."

Right on cue, a rainbow-colored streak shot out from above the treeline, and Rainbow Dash appeared in front of her friends. "You're here!" Twilight exclaimed. "Have they finally filled in the bracket?"

"About two minutes ago!" Rainbow shouted exasperatedly. "And it took the guy, like, five minutes to write a six-letter name! Seriously, what's going on around here? It's like this whole place is moving in slow motion!"

"There might be a cold going around," Twilight hypothesized. "A lot of people looked really pale at breakfast this morning."

"And cold!" Rarity added with a shudder. "Why, some sickly-looking fellow brushed past me while I was waiting for my wheatgrass juice, and his hand was like ice!"

"Great." Rainbow Dash smacked her face with her hoof in frustration. "Well, if everypony's sick down here, I'm gonna spend the day up there." She pointed up towards the sky, then leaped into the air and made a break for the clouds. "Later!"

"Wait!" Twilight cried out in vain. "You didn't tell us who you were fighting today!" She sighed as Rainbow disappeared into the clouds. "I'll guess we'll have to go see for ourselves."

"But that's so far out of the way!" Rarity complained, as she and Twilight headed for the forest. "What does knowing the name get us, anyway?"

"Plenty!" Twilight insisted. "We can use it to start building a profile of the opponent. Who are they? What are their strengths and weaknesses? How might they approach the battle? Once we have that information, we can come up with an optimal battle plan!"

"Not that Rainbow Dash will actually follow that plan...but I see your point," Rarity conceded. "Very well, then—let us learn the name of this ruffian."

"It's Nitara," a strange voice suddenly interjected.

Both ponies froze at the sound of the unfamiliar voice, and started looking all around trying to find its source. "Who's there?" Twilight demanded.

A brown-coated pony with a spiky mane and hourglass cutie mark emerged from a nearby bush. "You foe's name is Nitara," the pony repeated.

"Oh! I know you!" Rarity exclaimed. "You're that time-turning fellow from Ponyville! I'm surprised you're still talking to us, after what Twilight said about daylight savings time in the paper."

"Daylight...savings time?" The brown pony gave Twilight a confused look.

"Eh heh heh..." Twilight blushed and smiled awkwardly. "Well...you see...the truth is that, uh, the Foal Free Press misquoted me. I'm not against daylight savings time at all! I only said that recent scientific literature questioned its usefulness, and that we should do more research to see if putting everypony through the time change was necessary. I never said anything about wasting precious astronomical viewing time, honest!" She reached out and kicked Rarity with her back leg as she spoke.

The brown pony rolled his eyes. "It's...okay. Really. No hard feelings, water under the bridge, and all that stuff."

"Well, regardless, please accept our apologies," Rarity offered. "We do appreciate the information."

"There's more," the brown pony continued. "Nitara is not a normal competitor. She is a vampire."

Rarity rolled her eyes, unmoved by the revelation. "Personally, I don't think there is such a thing as a normal compet—"

"A vampire?" Twilight gasped. "Oh no! This is...is..." The shock suddenly disappeared from Twilight's face, replaced by a wide smile. "This is wonderful!" she declared.

"Er...how so?" Rarity asked.

"It's simple," the brown pony explained. "Vampires have been around for centuries. We know what they do, we know how they attack, and most importantly—"

"We know how to beat them!" Twilight exclaimed happily. "Rarity, run over to the dining hall and ask them for every garlic clove they've got. I'll signal Rainbow Dash and have her start looking for fallen trees we can make stakes out of, and then I'll stop by the island's house of worship and see if I can get the priest to bless some holy water."

Rarity nodded and turned to start making her way to the dining hall.

"Thank you so much for your help!" Twilight said to the brown pony. "It would have taken us forever to come up with a plan if you hadn't stopped by."

The brown pony shrugged. "No need to to thank me, ma'am. It's what I do."

Twilight smiled, then turned and hurried off in the direction of the cloud Rainbow Dash had disappeared behind. The brown pony watched her disappear into the forest, then reached back into the bush he had emerged from and pulled out a walkie-talkie. "We're done here," he said into the speaker.

"Splendid!" Shao Kahn's voice answered from the far end. "So our little ponies are ready to be vampire slayers, then?"

"I wouldn't go that far," Chrysalis replied in her normal voice. "I've led the ponies to the water. We'll see if they're smart enough to drink it."

---

At Kahn's insistence, Rainbow's throwdown with Nitara was scheduled for high noon on the same picturesque beach upon which Rarity had forced Applejack to perform in her fashion show just days earlier. The forecast did Nitara no favors either, with clear skies and a projected high of eight-five degrees inspiring much of the crowd to dress down for the occasion.

From her position inside the battle ring, Nitara wiped her brow and scowled at the blazing sun overhead. "So Kahn wants me to melt under this accursed Earthrealm sun, eh?" she muttered to no one in particular. She bent down and reached for a bag sitting alongside the edge of the ring, and drew out a bottle of SPF 100 sunscreen and a black jumpsuit. "Well, he will have to try harder than this," she said, as she smeared some sunscreen on her face with one hand and began donning the suit with the other.

Rainbow Dash, for her part, was standing by the jungle treeline doing her best to stay awake as Twilight went over their battle plan for the twelfth time. "C'mon, Twilight, we get it already!" she finally declared. "I mean, there's water, there's stakes, there's garlic...how hard could it be?"

"Plenty!" Twilight shouted. "These tools will only work if you use them properly!" She pointed a hoof at several large bags sitting next to her, all filled with various vampire defense items. "Now remember, the only way to defeat a vampire is to stake them, and the stake will only work if you hit them in the heart. The holy water should burn on contact, though, so you should use that to stun Nitara before moving in with the stake. The garlic is more of an irritant than anything else, but vampires can't stand it."

Rainbow Dash took a necklace of garlic cloves out of one of the bags, sniffed it, gagged, and held it out at leg's length. "Ugh! I can see why."

"You should wear a few of these around your neck," Twilight suggested. "Vampires attack by biting your neck and sucking out your blood, but wearing these—oof!" Twilight was interrupted by Rarity as the fashionable unicorn fainted away and bounced off Twilight on her way to the ground. "—should help, since the smell will break Nitara's concentration, and the effects will be stronger as she comes closer."

"Fine, fine, fine." Rainbow Dash donned a few of the garlic necklaces. "At least my sinuses will be nice and clear." She grabbed a bag full of holy water vials and added it to her collection of neck accessories. "Now sit back and watch me show these punks how it's done!"

Rainbow Dash leaped into the air and flew over to the battle ring, taking her place in the circle opposite Nitara. "All right, Miss Creepy!" she shouted. "Let's get this show on the road!"

Nitara chuckled at the sight of her unimposing foe. "Very well," she agreed, licking her lips. "I was just wondering who I was going to have for lunch today."

"Wait!" The battle referee suddenly ran into the center of the ring while waving his arms wildly. "We can't start until the network broadcasters finish their monologue."

Nitara laughed. "Is that all?" She held up her index finger at the referee. "Excuse me for just a moment." She turned and exited the battle ring, heading in the general direction of the Fox production crew as she disappeared into the crowd.

Within seconds, the air was filled with blood-curdling screams, the sound of running feet, and the crash of expensive television equipment smashing on the ground, with the occasional prayer thrown in for variety. As the living members of the crowd looked on in horror, Rainbow closed her eyes, swallowed hard and pulled her bag of holy water a little closer to her body. "N-No worries, girl," she told yourself. "Y-You got this."

After about thirty seconds, the cacophony finally faded into silence. Nitara, now sporting a microphone headset, quickly wormed her way back through the crowd and into the battle ring. "We're all clear to start!" she cheerily told the referee.

"Uh...of course," the referee stammered as he raised his arms. "Attention! Your attention please, everyone! This battle is about to begin! In this corner, a fierce and brutal warrior who is considered a terrorist by the Outworldian government, a powerful woman who volunteers for the International Red Cross in her spare time and has been featured in the last two swimsuit issues from Sports Illustrated...Nitara!"

A rousing cheer went up from the vampires in the crowd, but Nitara ignored them in favor of staring down her opponent.

"And is this corner," the ref continued, "the new holder of the world flight speed record, and the favorite to win both the upcoming Kentucky Derby and Daytona 500...Rainbow Dash!"

Rainbow Dash took a deep breath and struck her most confident pose as she met Nitara's stare. "That's right!" she proclaimed. "I am the epitome of awesome, and a no-account bloodsucker like you isn't gonna slow me down!"

"Combatants ready?" the referee asked.

"Yes," Nitara declared.

"Darn right I am!" Rainbow echoed.

"Okay then." The ref raised his hands and spread his arms wide. "FIGHT!"

WHOOSH! Rainbow Dash was in the air in a flash, catching Nitara flatfooted with the sudden display of speed. The vampire blinked a few times and stared at the spot where her opponent had been. "What the...where'd she go?" Nitara demanded.

Rainbow made a quick dash to position herself directly above Nitara, then reached into her bag and clamped a couple of holy water vials between her hooves. She used her teeth to pull the cork from each vial, then held them all over Nitara's head. "They call me the Weather Maker," she said as she turned the vials upside down, "and it's time to make it rain!"

"Huh?" Nitara looked up just it time to cover her head with her arms as the water came splashing down upon her. "Aaaaahhhh!" she screamed.

"Direct hit!" Rainbow pumped her hoof in elation, then raised a hoof to her ear to listen to Nitara suffer.

"Holy mother of mercy, that's cold!" Nitara shivered for a moment, then shook herself like a wet dog to rid herself of some of the moisture. "Honestly," she chided Rainbow Dash, "if you're going to dump water on someone, can't you at least make sure it's room temperature before you do it?"

"Huh?" Rainbow's smug grin was replaced by a look of surprise. "Aren't you supposed to be, you know, writhing in agony right now?"

"Well, sure, if you had used holy water," Nitara explained. "I don't know what that stuff was."

"I see." Rainbow Dash shot an annoyed glare back at Twilight, who was in the process of picking her jaw up off the ground as she watched Nitara's nonchalant reaction.

"I...I don't understand!" Twilight sputtered. "Nitara should be in excruciating pain after getting hit with all that water!"

"Perhaps this water is so filthy that not even a man or woman of the cloth could cleanse it," Rarity said with a shiver.

"But I had the priest bless those bottles twice just to make sure!" Twilight insisted.

"Wait...there's actually a priest at that place?" the battle referee interrupted. "Shao Kahn told us he didn't keep a priest on his payroll. He's been having the off-duty referees staff the place in between matches."

Twilight smacked her face with her hoof. "Never mind."

Meanwhile, Nitara finished drying herself and jumped into the air, flying up to match Rainbow Dash's eye level. "So much for your little plan," she snickered. "You're going to have to do better than that to beat me."

Rainbow Dash took a deep breath, gritted her teeth, and reapplied her smug smile to her face. "You're still looking a little wet there," she noted. "Maybe I can help you. Check this out!"

Rainbow started flying tight circles around Nitara as fast as her wings could carry her, creating a rainbow-colored vortex around the vampire. "This is my very own patented 'Rain Blow Dry!'" she shouted.

Nitara started looking around wildly as she tried vainly to keep up with the pegasus's speed. "For crying out loud, hold still, will you?" she demanded.

"Not your style, huh?" Rainbow chuckled as she continued her flight. "What if I buy you lunch to make up for it?" She brought her hoof to her mouth and whistled, signaling Twilight to draw a wooden stake from a bag and float it over to the combatants using her magic.

Rainbow grinned impishly as she clasped the stake between her hooves and circled around behind Nitara. "Here," she offered, "have some stake!" She squinted, aimed for Nitara's heart, and slammed the stake into the vampire's back with all her might.

The crowd let out a collective gasp at Rainbow Dash's blow. "Yes!" Rainbow shouted as she threw her hooves up in celebration. "And the crowd goes wild for—huh?" Rainbow took a second look at her work, her jaw dropping as she realized the stake had not even penetrated Nitara's jumpsuit and had instead bounced off the vampire and fallen harmlessly to the ground. "What gives?" she griped. "It didn't even scratch her!" She gave Twilight another irritated look. "What, are the stakes not really wood either?"

Nitara turned around and gave Rainbow a bemused look. "It's called Kevlar," she explained, patting the hard exterior breastplate of her jumpsuit. "After all, you're only the millionth creature to try to turn me into a vampire shish kabob."

"Gee, you thought of everything, didn't you?" Rainbow grumbled to herself.

"And now that you're standing still..." Nitara reached out and grabbed Rainbow Dash by the neck. "Playtime is over," she growled. "It's time to end this."

"Ack!" Rainbow tried to use her hooves to break out of Nitara's hold, but the vampire's grip was too strong. "Gee, it looks like the garlic isn't slowing you down either," she observed, noting that several cloves sat directly under Nitara's palm.

"Oh no, I can't stand garlic," Nitara admitted with a smile. "That why I always make sure to take my allergy meds. I'm living Claritin clear today!"

Rainbow Dash started to sweat as Nitara pulled her in until their faces were nearly touching. "I've never tasted pony before," Nitara said, licking her lips as a few drops of drool dripped from her fangs. "Still, I've always been open to trying new things."

Rainbow's pupils shrunk to the size of BBs. "Um...well...eh heh heh..." she stammered as she racked her brain for a new plan. "You know, honestly, the, er, taste of pony isn't really all that interesting. It's not even worth your time, really. We, uh, just kinda taste like...well...chicken, that's it! We taste just like boring old chicken."

Nitara's smile grew even bigger. "I like chicken."

Rainbow smacked her face with her hoof. "Of course you do."

Back down on the ground, Rarity and Twilight watched in horror as the scene unfolded. "Um...Twilight, darling?" Rarity said as she closed her eyes and covered her head with her hooves. "P-Perhaps a new plan is in order."

"I'm trying, I'm trying!" Twilight pounded on her head with her hooves, desperately hoping an idea would shake loose. She looked up at Rainbow as the pegasus tried to talk her way out of being Nitara's lunch. As the two fliers hovered together in the air, their bodies inches apart, both dripping with sweat and tense with anticipation, Twilight suddenly had a feeling of déjà vu, as if she had seen this happen before...

---

Twilight smiled as she watched her foalsitter walking around the house, moving farther away from Twilight's position behind the raspberry bush. "This was a great idea, Shining!" she said to her brother, who was crouched beside her. "She'll never find us here!"

"Shh!" Shining Armor replied. "She'll hear you!"

The pair sat for a few minutes in silence, peering through the bushes to see if the foalsitter had doubled back to look for them in the front yard again. "Thanks for playing hide-and-seek with me, Shining," Twilight whispered. "You always know the best hiding places."

"Hey, I'd never miss a chance to hang out with my little magic whiz sister!" Shining replied.

"How come you didn't tell Mom and Dad that hoofball practice was canceled?"

Shining smiled down at Twilight. "'Cause then they wouldn't have called Cadance over to foalsit you, and you'd be stuck with just me. Wouldn't you rather have Cadance here?"

Twilight nodded. "You're right. This is better."

"Gotcha!" Suddenly, a pink blur came soaring from behind the pair, grabbing Shining Armor and hoisting him into the air as it passed.

"Oh no! She found us!" Twilight squealed, leaping out from behind the bush and running for the house.

"She's got me!" Shining called after his sister. "Run, Twily! Save yourself!"

Twilight made a mad dash around the house and dived behind a nearby hedge. She sat there for a moment trying to catch her breath as quietly as possible, then slowly peeked around the hedge to witness her brother's fate.

Shining Armor was being held captive about ten feet in the air by Cadance, a pink pony with a pink, purple, and pale-golden-colored mane. "So you knew the entire time, huh?" Shining asked his captor. "Exactly how long were you standing behind us watching?"

"Oh, about three minutes," the pink pony said with a giggle. "I would have nabbed you sooner, but you two looked like you were sharing a cute moment together and I didn't want to disturb you. Besides—" A slight hint of red appeared on Cadance's cheeks. "—sometimes I like seeings ponies from a different...perspective."

Now it was Shining's turn to blush. "You know," he said, "Twilight's probably miles away by now, or at least hiding under her bed with her favorite doll."

"Oh really?" A devilish grin spread across Cadance's face, and she quickly glanced around the area. "Then I guess I've got a moment free before I go look for her."

The two floating ponies looked into each other's eyes, then slowly brought their faces together and...

---

"That's it!" Twilight rushed into the battle ring, stopping underneath Nitara and Rainbow Dash. "Rainbow!" she shouted. "If I tell you to do something crazy, will you do it?"

"Your track record's a little weak today!" Rainbow reminded Twilight. "But sure, why not?"

"Okay! Look into Nitara's eyes for a second!"

Rainbow Dash gave Twilight a confused look. "Um...why?"

"Just do it!"

Rainbow sighed, then turned and look back at Nitara. "Um...boo?"

Nitara chuckled and locked eyes with Rainbow Dash. "Okay, little pony, I'll play along. What are you going to do, hypnotize me?"

The two airborne fighters remained locked in a staring contest for several seconds. "You're both doing great!" Twilight called up to Rainbow. "Now kiss!"

"WHAT?!?!" Rainbow Dash and Nitara shouted in unison.

"You heard me!" Twilight repeated. "French her right on the lips!"

"Are you crazy?" Rainbow yelled.

"Are you desperate?" Twilight asked.

"Okay, this is where the game ends," Nitara stated flatly. "You've stalled the inevitable long—" Nitara was rudely interrupted when Rainbow Dash wrapped her front legs around the vampire's head and locked onto Nitara's lips with a passionate kiss.

Nitara's eyes nearly popped out of her head at Rainbow's actions, and she immediately let go of Rainbow's neck and started trying to pull out of the pegasus's hold. "Quit it! Let go!" she protested in a muffled voice.

"Perfect!" Twilight declared as she stepped out from under the flying couple. "Now let her go!"

Rainbow Dash immediately complied, as she wanted the awkward moment over as badly as Nitara did. The vampire, for her part, fell from Rainbow's grasp and crash-landed on the ground, her brain short-circuited by Rainbow's smooch. "Ew! Gross!" she sputtered. "Pony spit!" She began wiping her mouth off with her sleeve, spitting onto the ground in between wipes.

"I'm free!" Rainbow Dash cried. "So...what do I do know?"

Twilight threw her hooves into the air. "I don't know, just pound her!"

"Works for me!" Rainbow Dash flew a few quick laps around the battle ring to build up momentum, then swooped down and landed a haymaker square on Nitara's nose that sent the vampire sprawling to the sand.

"Ow!" Nitara whined, quickly getting back to her feet before bringing her hands to her face to check if everything was still in place. "You...You broke my nose, you little—"

"Take that! And that! And that!" Rainbow Dash unleashed a flurry of head shots that sent Nitara stumbling backward across the ring. "And now, for my final trick of the day!" The pegasus did a quick backwards flip in mid-air, reaching out her back legs as she spun to land a devastating kick up under Nitara's chin. The hit sent Nitara flying up over the crowd and up against the trunk of a nearby palm tree, which she promptly slid down and landed at its base in a crumpled heap.

"That's it!" the referee declared. "This match is over! Rainbow Dash wins!"

"Aw yeah!" Rainbow did a little victory jig in mid-air. "Call me MC Hammer, creepy girl, because you can't touch this!"

"That was a fortunate turn of events," Rarity admitted. "Tell me, Twilight, where in the world did you come up with such an...unorthodox strategy?"

"Well..." Twilight's mind again drifted to the past...

---

Cadance and Shining Armor's lips locked, and the pair shared a passionate kiss in mid-air as Twilight looked on. The kiss did not last long, however, as Cadance's wings faltered almost immediately, and the two ponies fell ungracefully into the raspberry bush below.

"Shining! Cadance!" Twilight ran towards the pair as they crawled out of the bush. "Are you okay?"

"Twily? Oh, uh, yeah, we're fine," Shining replied, his face still red from before.

"What were you doing up there?" Twilight asked.

"Nothing! Nothing at all!" Cadance insisted. "We, uh, were talking about the homework due next week!"

Twilight shook her head. "Nuh-uh! You were kissing, I saw you!"

"We weren't kissing!" Shining shot back. "We were just...exchanging ideas!"

"That's right!" Cadance nodded in agreement. "And, uh, I got so wrapped up in thinking about the problems that I forgot I was flying, heh heh."

Twilight laughed. "Shining and Cadance, sitting in a tree..."

---

"...and then Shining Armor locked me in his closet for the rest of the day," Twilight explained. "I figured if it happened then, it might happen now."

"I suppose that would tend to break one's concentration," Rarity admitted, "especially given Rainbow's poor dental habits."

"Speaking of teeth..." Twilight looked up at Rainbow Dash, who was sticking her tongue out at an unconscious Nitara while Shing was removing the vampire's soul. Twilight sighed, fired up her magic, and pulled the pegasus out of the air in mid-raspberry.

"Hey! What was that for?" Rainbow asked.

"It's poor sportsmanship to taunt your opponent in victory," Twilight explained, "especially when so many of her friends are watching."

"Oh." Rainbow looked around at the twenty angry, fanged spectators that now surrounded the three ponies. "Um, what I really meant to say was—"

"Save your platitudes," Rarity advised. "I suggest we take our leave while we still have our heads attached."

"I'm on it!" A bright pink glow surrounded Twilight's horn, and the ponies disappeared in a blinding flash of light, leaving the miffed vampires in their wake.

---

Queen Chrysalis sighed as she lowered her binoculars and stepped away from the castle window. "It's already over," she said to Shao Kahn, who would fiddling with his phone at the opposite side of the room. "Apparently they didn't need your help after all."

"Excellent!" Kahn smiled evilly, then tapped a number into his phone. "Free that changeling and gather up the dynamite," he spoke into the phone. "Plan A was successful after all."

"Why were you so bent on making the pegasus win, anyway?" Chrysalis inquired. "The more ponies live, the more powerful Twilight Sparkle remains."

"It is as I told you last night, my dear," Kahn explained. "My tournament strategy is based upon an intricate calculus, the likes of which you and the rest of the mere mortals out there could never comprehend. I needed the rainbow pony alive to balance my current equation."

"In English, please," Chrysalis snapped back.

Kahn shrugged. "Just know this: Tomorrow, Twilight Sparkle will face her toughest opponent yet: herself."

Comments

[TundraStanza]

Way to dispel the rumors that anybody's lesbian for Rainbow Dash.
... and now I've incurred the wrath of several onlookers. Excuse me.

*Runs away while shouting*

[Green Akers]

4025056 I didn't dispel the rumors. I just qualified them to "anybody with a pulse."

[Linkonpark100]

I'm guessing she's gonna be facing Dark Sparkle. XD

[Rainbooms]

Chrysalis is going to turn into Twilight isn't she?

I have a feeling that's what's happening.

[Inferno16]

Please tell me the mane six that lost their souls get them back I can't stand not loosing these great characters

[Green Akers]

4028823 The way I imagine it, the fate of the defeated souls is decided by whoever wins the tournament. They could all be released, or destroyed, or forced to do the Chicken Dance for eternity (which is probably what Pinkie would choose ).

Hopefully the good guys win!

[Inferno16]

4031572 Oh good just can't stand seeing pinkie pie, flutter shy, and spike dead

[Lance Skyes]

"Oh no, I can't stand garlic," Nitara admitted with a smile. "That why I always make sure to take my allergy meds. I'm living Claritin clear today!"

and a all for the Claritin bit.

[Frost Bear]

Ah, the clone battle... Those were a bitch back in those days of the arcade