Mortal Kombat: Equestria

by Green Akers

All You Need Is Love

THUMP! THUMP! The sound of someone pounding against the wall of their stone hut one again jarred Twilight from her slumber. "Ugh..." she muttered as she rose to her feet and stumbled towards the front opening. "Applejack, for crying out loud..." she began to complain, forgetting in her half-awake stupor that her friend had already been eliminated.

Instead of a pony, however, it was one of Kahn's generic ninjas knocking on the ponies' hut. "Miss Sparkle?" the ninja asked. "An urgent telephone call from New York has just come for you."

"Somepony is calling me now?" Twilight stared at the ninja in disbelief. "Who is it? I don't know anypony in New York!"

"The man would not give us his real name," the ninja explained. "He called himself 'Shining Armor.'"

"But Shining Armor is his real—wait, Shining Armor is calling for me?" Twilight snapped to attention. "Well, why didn't you say so? Of course I'll talk to him! Where's the phone?"

The ninja promptly led Twilight to a watch tower that overlooked the fighters' quarters, where her "phone"—a rusted tin can on a string attached to a cardboard box sporting a rotary dial and enough mold to make Alexander Bell vomit—awaited. Twilight hesitantly used her magic to bring the can to her lips, taking care to avoid direct contact with the metal. "Hello?" she shouted into the can. "Shining Armor? Are you there?"

"Twily!" The faint voice of Twilight's brother could be heard on the other end of the line. "Can you hear me?"

"Yes!" Twilight called back. "Is everything okay? What's going on? What the heck are you doing in New York?"

"I'm at the United Nations!" Shining Armor replied. "The Security Council just declared that Queen Chrysalis violated the laws of war with her recent invasions of Equestria, and I've been chosen to head up a security force to take her into custody."

"That's...nice," Twilight muttered. "And you couldn't wait for a more reasonable hour to tell me about this...why?"

"Because we're coming your way first," Shining Armor revealed. "Chrysalis has joined forces with Shao Kahn, and Princess Celestia thinks Chrysalis made a deal with Kahn to take over Equestria if he wins the tournament."

"What?" Twilight nearly dropped her can in shock. Facing the possibility of Kahn ruling the world was bad enough, but having an on-site changeling horde milking Equestria of all its love and affection? A cold chill ran up Twilight's spine at the thought. "So if you're coming here," she reasoned, "then you think Chrysalis is here with Kahn?"

"Right," Shining Armor confirmed. "She could be anywhere—and anypony—on that island. I'll be out there by the end of the day, but until then, be on the lookout for anypony suspicious. She's probably going to try and sabotage you in the tournament, so keep your eyes open and stay safe."

"Don't worry!" Twilight proclaimed. "We'll search this island high and low, near and far, inside and out! If Chrysalis is anywhere around here, we'll find her."

"What's that?" Another voice could be heard on the far end of the line, and Shining Armor's voice faded out for a few seconds as he exchanged words with the unknown speaker. "Darn," he finally muttered. "I guess I have to go inspect the troops now. Look, just keep doing what you're doing, and you'll be fine. After seeing what you did to that to Liu Kang guy, I know you've got the skills to win this thing."

"Thanks." Twilight set her can down softly, then wheeled on the ninja standing behind her. "Where's Chrysalis?" she demanded angrily. "I know she's here on the island working with Shao Kahn, so don't try to deny it!"

"Well, duh," the ninja replied with a shrug. "Everybody knows Chrysalis is here—we put out a press release about it yesterday. She's probably in the castle right now, although no authorized personnel are allowed in until morning."

"Well, you tell Chrysalis that her plan won't work any better than Kahn's," Twilight declared, poking her hoof into the ninja's chest for effect. "We're going to win this tournament, save our friends, bring Chrysalis to justice, and send the rest of you back to Outworld where you belong."

The ninja shrugged as Twilight stomped out of the watch tower. "That's cool, I guess," he decided. "I don't get paid anything extra if we win anyway."

---

Twilight returned to her hut as the sun began peeking over the horizon, determined to root out Chrysalis from wherever she was hiding. At that moment, however, finding the changeling queen would have been as easy as following the screams of rage.

"KAHN!" Chrysalis's voice echoed off the walls of Kahn's castle, as she stomped her way systemically down every corridor in the building. "You cannot hide from me—I invented hiding! Show yourself!"

A door opened near Chrysalis in response, but it was a half-asleep Shing Tsung whose stumbled into view, not Shao Kahn. "Chill out, fly girl!" Shing pleaded. "I mean, Kahn's crib is about five floors up from here, on the other side of the castle!"

"Hmph." Chrysalis glared at Shing for a moment, then made her way—loudly—over to Kahn's inner sanctum. "I am tired of waiting for your empty promises!" the changeling queen shouted, kicking Kahn's door open and barging into the room. "Come out here this instant!"

A young-looking brunette sat at a desk in the corner of the room, but Kahn was nowhere to be seen. "I'm sorry," the woman apologized, "but Kahn came in very late last evening, and hasn't come in to the office yet."

Chrysalis eyed the women suspiciously. "Who are you?"

"Oh, I'm Fran, Mr. Kahn's new secretary!" the brunette replied. "I joined the team yesterday to help plan and coordinate events on the island. We're on pace to set a new attendance record for Mortal Kombat tournaments, and we want to make sure everyone is having fun!"

"Uh huh." Chrysalis rolled her eyes. "Well, when Mr. Kahn gets back in, tell him that his fellow monarch is tired of living in this barren wasteland of hate and vengeance, having to survive on romantic comedies and Friends reruns!"

"Oh! You're a Friends fan too?" Fran squealed. "I loved that show! Weren't Ross and Rachel the cutest couple ever?"

"NO!" Chrysalis screamed. "They are the most irritating, inconsistent human beings to have never lived! They love each other, they hate each other, they're making out, they're on a break, they're getting married, they're not getting married—sometimes you have to watch half a season to get a decent meal!"

The sound of Shao Kahn's booming laugh caused Fran and Chrysalis to turn back towards the doorway. "Come now, Chrysalis," Kahn teased as he walked into the room, "Friends is one of the most beloved sitcoms of the past twenty years! Of course, if you'd like a little more variety in your diet, Sektor has the first six seasons of How I Met Your Mother on DVD."

"You fool!" Chrysalis went nose-to-nose with Kahn, despite giving up eighteen inches and at least a hundred pounds to the Outworld emperor. "My brood cannot survive on DVDs alone!" She poked her hoof aggressively into Kahn's chest. "You promised us a veritable feast of love and happiness," she claimed, "but you have only thrown us crumbs!"

"I also promised you that I had a foolproof plan to rid the world of that lavender unicorn you keep blathering on about." Kahn unleashed another ear-splitting laugh. "Hold my calls, Fran—I believe it's time to reveal the next step of my master plan! Follow me, your majesty..."

Shao Kahn led Chrysalis on a long and winding climb through the castle, culminating in a trip up a steep, spiraling staircase inside one of the castle towers. Chrysalis spent much of the trek mumbling unprintable oaths about Kahn's mother, but upon reaching the tower stairs, an appetizing aroma cut her off in mid-sentence. "Wh-What is this?" she asked as her mouth began to water.

"This is me killing two birds with one stone," Kahn replied. "Do you like it?"

"This is incredible," Chrysalis offered, smacking her lips as she followed Kahn up the stairs. "A full serving of caring, trust, and mutual affection, topped with a pinch of passion and dollop of lust!" She suddenly scowled up at Kahn. "Why have you kept this from us?"

"It's...not something I like to talk about, really," Kahn admitted. "I have a reputation to uphold, you know."

"Ooh..." An impish grin spread across Chrysalis's face. "So you have a secret special someone locked away in a tower like a modern-day Rapunzel, eh?"

"Eight of them, actually," Kahn revealed, "but they are back in Outworld, and they actually enhance my reputation. This is another issue entirely."

Eventually, the evil pair reached the top of the stairs, and were greeted a large iron door with a 'KEEP OUT' sign and a Justin Bieber poster taped to it. Kahn motioned for Chrysalis to stop, then pulled two pairs of sunglasses out of his pocket. "It's too dangerous to go in there without protection," he cautioned, putting on one set of shades and offering the other to Chrysalis. "Behind that door is one of the most terrifying things known to mankind, and anything you see in there cannot be unseen. Are you sure you're ready for this?"

"I was hatched ready," Chrysalis declared, donning her sunglasses as drops of drool began falling from the corner of her mouth. "Let's do this."

Kahn took a deep breath and pushed open the door.

"Yah!" Chrysalis jumped back in shock at the sight before her. In contrast to the dark, dank decor of the rest of the castle, this room had been painted bright pink, with matching curtains on the windows and carpet on the floor. Clothes of every shape, size, and color were strewn all over the floor, and posters of various bubblegum pop stars—along with a few depicting a shirtless Liu Kang—hung on the wall.

Lying on a canopy bed in a corner of the room, surrounded by was a young-looking, dark-haired woman dressed in a blue T-shirt and matching pants. Looking up from the smartphone she had been tapping on, the woman shrieked as the appearance of Shao Kahn and Chrysalis. "Excuse me!" the woman shouted, shooting Kahn an annoyed glare. "You're supposed to knock before you come in here! I could have been, like, changing or something!"

Chrysalis looked up at Kahn. "And this is...?"

Kahn sighed. "Chrysalis, allow me to introduce to you my daughter, Princess Kitana. Kitana, this is Queen Chrysalis of Equestria."

Kitana didn't reply, or get up from the bed, or even smile. She sneered over at Shao Kahn. "What do you want?"

"Aside from a mere sliver of the respect I deserve from you?" Kahn responded. "I am your father, after all."

"You're not my real father," Kitana reminded Kahn.

"No," Kahn agreed, "I'm just the one who keeps you in house and home, provides you with three square meals a day, and—"

"And the one who killed my parents, lied to me about being my father, and created a warped twin out of my DNA," Kitana finished the sentence. "And you took away my TV privileges last week."

"You threw a steel fan at my head when I told you to eat your vegetables!" Kahn countered. "Live neon turnips are an Outworld delicacy!"

Kitana stuck out her tongue in disgust. "You are, like, the most horrible father in the world."

Kahn threw his arms up in frustration. "You see what I have to put up with?" he asked Chrysalis.

"Mmm..." Chrysalis stood in the corner of the room with a goofy smile frozen on her lips. Despite the hatred Kitana and Shao Kahn had been flinging at each other, Chrysalis still seemed to be soaking up a lot of love and affection.

Kitana turned back to her phone. "What time is the final match, anyway? I want to see Liu Kang bust you up good."

"As a matter of fact, that is exactly what I came to talk to you about," Kahn revealed. "I've been given a reprieve from Kang's fury—he has already lost."

"Yeah, right." Kitana rolled her eyes. "Like any one of your no-good lowlifes could ever touch him."

"True," Kahn conceded. "Were I not my own general manager, I would have fired myself by now. This time, however, I got a little help from the good guys."

"Great." Kitana sighed and rolled off of her bed. "So who beat him?" she asked as she folded her arms and faced Kahn. "Cage? Jax? Kung Lao? Or did Raiden finally get up off his lazy butt and decide to do his own dirty work for a change?"

"Oh, I'm afraid it's much worse than that," Kahn replied, trying to suppress a giggle. "Liu Kang was beaten...by a talking purple pony that was about half his size."

Kitana stared silently at Kahn for a moment. "Seriously?" she said, shaking her head. "Is that supposed to be a joke? Because it's, like, so not funny."

"That depends on your perspective," Kahn offered, reaching back and pulling a copy of TIME from behind his back. He tossed the magazine at Kitana. "I find it to be quite amusing, actually."

Kitana's eyes and mouth opened wide as she stared at the magazine cover, which featured an illustration of six ponies and one baby dragon standing atop a pile of unconscious fighters. "Her?" she sputtered, stabbing the drawing of Twilight Sparkle with her finger. "That thing beat Liu Kang?"

"Oh, Miss Sparkle didn't just beat him," Kahn revealed, as he picked up a stuffed Liu Kang doll lying on the floor and gave it a disapproving look. "She chewed him up, spit him out, and sent him to the moon with a swing that would have made Babe Ruth proud."

"What?!?" Kitana stared at Twilight's picture in disbelief. "How is that even possible? She's a tiny little pony, for crying out loud! She doesn't even have hands!"

"Screwy, ain't it?" Kahn offered, tossing the Liu Kang doll onto the bed.

"I'll show you who's screwed!" Kitana flung the magazine against the wall, then reached back and grabbed one of her fans and flung it at the magazine. The fan struck the magazine directly in its center, pinning it to the wall. "If I got my hands on that magical little witch, I'd turn her into purple confetti!"

"Precisely what I was thinking," Kahn said with a smile. "Would you care to exercise your option to join the tournament, and correct this unspeakable..." Kahn was almost literally cut off by a steel fan flung in his direction, which forced him to take evasive action. "I'll take that as a yes," he concluded.

Kitana walked over and waved a pointed finger in Kahn's face. "I'm going to fillet that pony," she promised, "and after that, you're next."

Kahn could only shake his head as Kitana stormed out of the room. "Kids these days, huh?" he asked Chrysalis.

"Sorry, can't talk right now," Chrysalis answered, as she hurried out of the room after her breakfast. "Please, Kitana, wait for me! Tell me more about this Liu Kang fellow..."

---

Back at the ponies' hut, Rarity was staying busy dealing with the fallout from her battle with Applejack. "Over a hundred new orders in the first twenty-four hours!" she squealed, as she sifted through the mountain of papers that had arrived at her door this morning. "I haven't seen so much business since the last Grand Galloping Gala! Perhaps this brutish affair has a silver lining after all!"

Using her magic, Rarity began going through the orders to see how many of each dress she would need to produce. "Let's see," she counted, "that's five orders for the evening gown, another three for the ballet outfit, an order for the palm-frond dress from a 'Candy Kong,' two of the—"

SPLAT! Rarity was rudely interrupted by a large amount of mud that landed unceremoniously on her head, causing her to drop her order forms. "AIIIEEE!" she shrieked, as she collapsed to the floor and began furiously brushing her hair with her hooves. "GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!"

Looking around the hut, Rarity spied a barrel full of water standing in the corner of the room, and quickly ran over and began dunking her head in the water repeatedly. "Disgusting! Horrible! Outrageous!" she sputtered in between dunks. "Whose awful idea for a practical joke was this?"

In response, Twilight Sparkle stepped through the front doorway of the hut, carrying a large metal bucket with her magic. "It was a test," she explained, "and you passed. Only the real Rarity would react to a little mud like it was radioactive. I needed to make sure that you were really who you appeared to be."

Rarity scowled over at Twilight. "You could have just asked."

Twilight shook her head. "Not anymore. Chrysalis has teamed up with Shao Kahn, and is on the island right now plotting to stop us."

Rarity's expression softened a little, but not completely. "Well, be that as it may," she offered, "I do not believe the ends justified your—ugh!—unclean means."

"Just be happy your wings didn't disappear while you in midair," Rainbow Dash grumbled as she followed Twilight into the hut.

"Secure the entrance," Twilight directed, as she began casting suspicious glances around the room. "Rarity, is this room clean?"

Rarity looked over at a large mold growth on one of the walls. "I highly doubt that place has ever been clean."

"No, I mean, is anypony listening?" Twilight clarified. "Is anypony else in the hut?"

"Well, aside from the ants, the mice, the roaches, and the bedbugs," Rarity muttered, "we are alone."

Twilight motioned for Rainbow Dash and Rarity to come closer. "Now then," she whispered, "if Chrysalis is here, she's probably going to try to interfere with our matches."

"Perhaps she's already started interfering," Rarity offered. "What about that strange fellow who beat Pinkie? Didn't you say he was a stand-in for her actual opponent?"

"That's true," Twilight conceded. "He used some sort of strange magic to get inside Pinkie's head. I'll bet it was Chrysalis the whole time."

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "So what? Even if she's decided to mess with us, it's not like we haven't beaten her before."

"Shining Armor and Princess Cadance beat her, not us," Twilight reminded Rainbow Dash. "She was one love-powered blast away from crushing the rest of us beneath her hooves."

Rarity gulped at the memory. "So what do you propose we do?"

Twilight turned away from her friends and face the wall. "Chrysalis thrives on the element of surprise," she declared, as a purple glow surrounded her horn. She paused for a few seconds for dramatic effect, then turned back towards her friends sporting a monocle and a Fu Manchu mustache. "I propose that we turn the tables on her, and give her a taste of her own medicine."

Rainbow Dash and Rarity exchanged confused stares. "I...I don't quite understand you, darling," Rarity admitted.

"I checked the battle schedule on my way here, and our next fight takes place in three hours," Twilight explained as she removed her disguise. "I'll be fighting against that four-armed lady who keeps asking Rarity about purchasing her designs."

"Oh...her," Rarity acknowledged in a slightly-disapproving tone of voice. "She has a rather...er...how do I say this...unique style."

"My brother had to call Kahn's castle to reach me," Twilight continued, "so Chrysalis probably knows that we know she's here. Still, she's going to make one crucial assumption: That I'm going to be out there in the circle ready to fight."

"Wait...you won't be there ready to fight?" Rainbow arched an eyebrow at Twilight. "Does anypony else see a problem here?"

"Oh, I'll be there," Twilight replied. "I'm going to stake out a position near the battle where I can keep an everything that goes on during the battle. If Chrysalis makes a move, I want to be able to intervene and catch her by surprise."

"So who's going to fight that four-armed freak?" Rainbow asked.

"Well, we'll need to have an appropriate stand-in," Twilight admitted. "I'll need Rainbow Dash to keep watch from the air, but..." Twilight cast an apologetic look over at Rarity.

Rarity's eyes popped open as she realized was Twilight's plan was. "Oh no," she declared, "I do not intend to serve as a...a tackling dummy for a fashion-challenged warrior princess! Besides, Twilight and I look nothing alike!"

"Don't worry, I've got that covered!" Twilight interrupted. "I've been working on some pigmentation spells, so coat and hair color won't be a problem! Of course, we'll have to change your mane style a little bit..."

Rarity's eyes got even bigger. "You wouldn't dare!" She began backing up towards the rear of the hut as her friends started to close in. "Stay back! Back, I say!"

---

With the leverage of near-Super-Bowl ratings for his fights, Shao Kahn spent much of his day striking a new lucrative deal with Fox to air the remainder of the tournament battles on television, rather than just the primetime fights. Unfortunately, since Twilight's fourth-round bout had been scheduled for the afternoon, the network decided to show the fight on Fox Sports 1 rather than their flagship station, and turned the call over to Kenny Albert.

"Sun, sand, and savagery—a perfect backdrop for what should be another classic battle!" Kenny proclaimed. "Good afternoon and welcome to Shao Kahn's island, where we are about to raise the curtain on the fourth round of the Mortal Kombat tournament! I'm Kenny Albert, along with my partner, famed wrestling heel and proud member of the 1%, the Million Dollar Man himself, Ted Dibiase! Now Ted, as we all now, the storyline so far has centered around the surprising success of the Equestrian contingent. However, with over half of the group having gone down to defeat, we have to start wondering: Has the pony phenomenon run its course?"

A man wearing a gold-colored suit, complete with matching shoes and sunglasses, came into view of the camera. "Don't believe it!" the man told the audience. "I know money when I see it, and let me tell you, these puny ponies are money!"

"The money agrees with you today," Kenny added, "as even after Twilight Sparkle's awful performance against Raiden, Las Vegas has her installed as a 3:1 favorite over her Shokan opponent Sheeva, who comes into the match with a mediocre .437 winning percentage despite her extra limbs."

"Sheeva's had a good run," Ted agreed, "but her last fight against Ronda Rousey was nothing to write home about. She'll have to step up her game to compete with a magical marvel like T-Spark."

High above the battle ring, Rainbow Dash found herself shielding her eyes from the Million Dollar Man's garish outfit. "I guess now we know who that moron Shing stole his outfit from," she muttered.

"Focus, Rainbow!" Twilight's voice came crackling in through a walkie-talkie hanging around Rainbow Dash's neck. "Chrysalis is out here somewhere, and we've got to be ready when she makes her move."

"Yes, and the quicker we find her, the quicker I can be extricated from this predicament!" Rarity's voice chimed in.

Rainbow Dash snickered. "Aw, come on, Rarity, you look great as—AAH!" The pegasus stopped short as a magical aura surrounded her and pinned her wings in place for a moment, sending her into a fifteen-foot freefall.

"One more word," Rarity threatened over the walkie-talkie, "and so help me Celestia, I will ground you permanently!"

"Fine, fine," Rainbow muttered in response.

Back on the ground, the battle referee had stepped out of the crowd and into the ring. "Attention, everyone!" he yelled. "This battle is about to begin!" He motioned to one side of the circle. "In this corner, a master of magic who is rumored to be in negotiations to take over the Headmaster position at Hogwarts...Twilight Sparkle!"

As the crowd cheered, a lavender unicorn with blue eyes, a bowl cut, and a look of absolute disdain on her face stomped into the ring. "I feel about as ridiculous as I look," the unicorn grumbled. "I truly hope that none of my peers recognize me like this—my standing in the fashion industry would be destroyed! I'd be nothing but a laughingstock!"

"Keep it together, Rarity," Twilight's voice commanded from a small walkie-talkie dangling around the blue-eyed pony's neck. "And don't worry—we're right here to intervene if Chrysalis steps in."

Meanwhile, the referee continued with his battle introduction. "And in this corner, a fierce Shokan warrior who counts dagger throwing, machete eating, and crocheting among her hobbies, and who is the undisputed pattycake champion of the universe...Sheeva!"

As Sheeva stepped forward and performed a quadruple-flex for the audience, the real Twilight Sparkle kept a close eye on the Shokan through a pair of binoculars from a post at the top of a nearby palm tree. "Where are you hiding, Chrysalis?" Twilight muttered to herself.

"Are you sure we're gonna see her before she attacks?" Rainbow Dash questioned from high above the action. "I mean, she could be anywhere and anypony right now."

"It's simple," Twilight explained. "I've researched Sheeva's combat repertoire, and her magic is rudimentary at best, so anything even remotely powerful she does will be a dead giveaway. Otherwise, nopony else is supposed to interfere with the battle, so anypony who does becomes a prime suspect. Trust me, finding Chrysalis will be a piece of cake!"

Right on cue, Shao Kahn emerged from the treeline, followed closely by a gray-haired lady wearing a black robe and carrying a copy of the Constitution underneath her arm. "What a surprise!" Kenny exclaimed. "Shao Kahn is here at the match with former Supreme Court justice Sandra Day O'Connor!"

The gray-haired lady, otherwise known as Chrysalis's latest transformation, frowned as some of the spectators began gawking and taking pictures. "I told you this was a terrible disguise," she whispered to Kahn.

Kahn laughed. "Loosen up, Sandy baby!" he advised. "If anyone asks, you're here to speak with me about the establishment of an Outworld judicial system."

"What are we doing out here, anyway?" Chrysalis demanded. "Why couldn't we have stayed in the castle and out of the public eye?"

"Because," Kahn said with a smile, "I thought you would appreciate seeing the destruction of Twilight Sparkle firsthand."

As the crowd refocused on the battle, the referee raised his arms. "Combatants ready?"

"Ready for victory," Sheeva proclaimed.

"Actually..." Rarity took a few steps backward. "Could I have another minute? I need to, er...clear my mind before I, uh, wreak havoc on my opponent."

The referee scratched his head. "Well...I guess that's okay."

"Thank you, my good sir!" Rarity quickly backpedaled out of the circle. "We are running out of time!" she whispered sharply into her walkie-talkie.

"Hey, I'm looking as hard as I can!" Rainbow Dash objected.

"Well, look harder!" Rarity hissed.

"HOLD EVERYTHING!" A voice suddenly boomed from the treeline, about three trees down from Twilight's position. As all heads turned towards the noise, Princess Kitana burst out of the forest, made a mad dash for the crowd, hurdled the entire throng in one incredible flying leap, and landed next to Sheeva in the battle circle.

"Hold everything!" Kenny repeated for the benefit of the viewers at home. "Princess Kitana has thrown her fan into the ring, and she is not in the mood to take prisoners!"

"You!" Kitana bellowed, pointing a threatening finger in Rarity's direction. "You're the little witch that beat up my boyfriend and ruined my entire life!"

"Eh...beg your pardon?" Rarity replied, unsure of what Kitana was talking about.

Kitana drew a steel fan from her waistband. "I'm going to, like, mess you up so bad, your unborn grandchildren are gonna be sore!"

Rarity received this message loud and clear. "Pardon me," she apologized, "but I do believe I hear my...something...calling me." She quickly turned and began frantically pushing her way through the crowd. "Twilight!" she shouted. "I believe that this is your cue!"

Before Kitana could move, however, Sheeva stepped up to block her path. "Excuse me, Miss Prissy," Sheeva snapped, "but this is my fight, and I'm not in the mood to have a drama queen like you..."

POW! Kitana threw an elbow that connected squarely with Sheeva's face, cold-cocking the Shokan and sending her sprawling to the sand. "Anyone else got a complaint?" Kitana growled.

"As a matter of fact..." The battle referee hurried over to where Kitana stood. "I have not officially announced the start of this battle yet, so if you would kindly..." The referee was promptly cut off by the slamming of a steel fan over his head. "F-f-fight," he managed to whisper before collapsing to the ground.

"First Sheeva, and now the referee is down!" Kenny exclaimed. "Who will be next to suffer Katana's wrath?"

From the air, Rainbow Dash could only stare down in amazement at the strange turn of events. "I guess you were right, Twilight," she admitted. "That dumb changeling is so obvious, she might as well be wearing a freaking name tag."

"Congratulate me later!" Twilight yelled back. "We've got to help..." The unicorn took a step, then looked down and suddenly realized she had overlooked an important detail in selecting her observation post. She looked up at Rainbow apologetically. "Um...a little help here?"

Meanwhile, Kitana scowled as she watched Rarity fight her way through the crowd and away from the battle. "You can run, dorkface, but you can't hide!" Kitana declared. She took a deep breath, whispered a few words in an ancient tongue, and suddenly disappeared in a wisp of purple smoke.

"Look at that!" Twilight pointed a hoof at where Kitana had been standing. "That's got to be Chrysalis! Teleportation requires a high level of magical power!"

"Yeah, about that..." Rainbow Dash gave Twilight a disapproving glare as she flew over to the tree. "Why didn't you do that instead of bugging me to get you out of this stupid tree?"

"Oh...right," Twilight's face turned red at the realization.

"Twilight! Rainbow!" The two ponies turned to see Rarity breaking through the crowd and making a run for the forest. "I am in need of your assistance!"

Suddenly, another puff of violet smoke appeared in front of Rarity, and Kitana stepped out of the cloud to block Rarity's path. "Surprise!" Kitana growled.

"EYAAHH!" Rarity tried to apply the brakes, but it was too little, too late. Kitana brandished her fans and swung them in a double-uppercut motion, smashing Rarity in the face and lifting the unicorn high into the air.

Twilight's eyes popped open at the impact. "Forget it!" she decided, shoving Rainbow away from her. "We don't have time! We've got to stop her now!" She quickly summoned her magic, and a magical purple aura began to surround Kitana. "That should hold her until..."

Kitana, on the other hands, did not even notice the magic floating around her. Instead, she hurried over to where she estimated her opponent would fall, then reared back with her leg and delivered a Lionel Messi special just before Rarity landed, sending the pony back up into the air. "Oh no!" Twilight gasped. "Not this again!"

The failure of Twilight's magic also caught Chrysalis off guard. "That's odd," the changeling remarked. "I did not sense that your daughter had much magical ability. How is she able to resist Twilight's spell?"

Shao Kahn chuckled. "Oh, it's just a little trick I picked up from Liu Kang," he explained. "You see, he was wearing this fantastic trinket when he lost—a shiny little ring! Being the thoughtful soul that I am, of course, I knew that our friend Kang would have wanted Kitana to have it, so I gave it to her a few nights ago and told her that it was a good luck charm from her boyfriend!" A devilish grin spread across Kahn's face. "It seems I wasn't lying after all."

Kitana's juggling of 'Twilight' continued for another minute, as the real Twilight continued freaking out about her sudden magical impotence. "What'll we do now?" Twilight wondered.

"We do this the hard way!" Rainbow mimed rolling up her sleeves with her hooves, then charged down towards Kitana. "Hey Chrissy! Come here and pick on somepony your own size!"

Kitana looked over at the pegasus steaming towards her. "Oh joy. More ponies," she deadpanned. Looking back up at Rarity as the unicorn flailed helplessly through the air, Kitana leaped up to match the pony's height, reached back with her first, and spiked Rarity towards Rainbow Dash like a volleyball.

"Whoa!" Rainbow could not react in time, and the two ponies collided in midair and crashed to the ground. "Okay, that didn't work as well as I expected," Rainbow muttered, as she spit out a mouthful of sand.

As Rarity and Rainbow struggled to rise up from the ground, Kitana pulled out her steel fans and approached the pair slowly. "It's time to end this."

"Kitana closes in for the final blow!" Kenny shouted. "Is this the end of Twilight Sparkle?"

Still stuck in her treetop hiding spot, Twilight's mind began racing as she watched Kitana close in on her friends. Come on, Twilight, THINK! she chided herself. You've been here before, remember? When you couldn't use your magic for Liu Kang, you used it on yourself...except I'm up here and Chrysalis is down there! As she stared at 'Chrysalis' for a moment, an idea suddenly struck her. Of course! I'll just need to find somepony else to use my magic on...or something!

Kitana raised her fans in preparation for a final strike, but just before she could act, a magical aura surrounded the fans, and they pulled loose from Kitana's grip. "Hey! What's up with..." Kitana looked up to see her weapons spin around in midair and charge towards her. "What the...Stop it! Heel! You're supposed to be on my side!" Kitana objected, as she began parrying blows from her fans.

Seizing the opportunity, Rainbow Dash jumped to her feet and started slapping Rarity's face. "Hey, Earth to Rarity! You've got an opening here!"

"Uhhh..." Rarity moaned, waving her legs around in a haphazard attempt to stand up.

Rainbow facehooved. "You realize you have about five pounds of dirt in your hair right now, right?" she pointed out.

"WHAT?!?" Rarity snapped out of her daze, and began scrubbing her hair with her hooves as fast as she could. "Help! Medic! I need shampoo and conditioner, stat!"

Sensing that the tide of the battle was beginning to turn against him, Shao Kahn decided to step in as a surrogate referee. "You there!" he roared, pointing a finger at Rainbow Dash. "Get out of the way! You know the rules—no one is allowed to interfere with the battle!"

Rainbow opened her mouth to reply, but Twilight cut her off. "I've got an idea," she proclaimed into her walkie-talkie, "but it's going to take some time. Stall them for a minute."

"Um...well..." Rainbow looked at Rarity, then at Shao Kahn, and finally over at Kitana, who had finally regained control of her fans. "I...uh...I...just...wanted to tell you all something!"

"Well, spit it out then!" Kitana snapped. "I've got, like, a boyfriend-smiting pony to settle up with!"

"Well...you see...that's kind of the thing..." Rainbow search her brain for a convenient lie, but came up empty. Great, she thought to herself, now what?

The truth will set you free! a voice in her head suddenly shouted.

"Oh, geez," Rainbow muttered. "First Fluttershy, and now Applejack is in my head?"

You got any better ideas, sugarcube? the voice inquired.

"Fine." Rainbow took a deep breath. "What I wanted to say," she announced as she pointed at Rarity, "is that this pony...is an impostor!"

A gasp went up from the crowd. "Baloney!" Kitana spit back at Rainbow. "How the heck can she be an impostor? Seriously, how many other lavender unicorns with starry cutie marks can there be in the world?"

"It's true!" Rainbow insisted. "I can prove it!" She turned back towards Rarity. "All, right, 'Twilight,' what's the capital of Beirut?"

"Eh..." Rarity leaned in close to Rainbow Dash's face. "Rainbow, what are you doing?" she whispered.

"You're dodging the question!" Rainbow shouted. "Somepony as smart as the real Twilight would know this!"

"But darling, I don't believe Beirut is even..."

"Too slow!" Rainbow interrupted. "Let's try something simpler: What's the square root of Abraham Lincoln?"

"What?" Rarity gave Rainbow Dash a confused look. "That doesn't make any sense!"

"Obviously, the answer is 42!" Rainbow Dash turned back towards the crowd. "How could anypony claiming to be the world's smartest pony not know that?"

A gasp went up from the spectators. "Unbelievable!" Kenny declared. "In a shocking twist, another pony has stepped into the ring to fight as Twilight Sparkle! Tell me, Ted, what would possess somepony to disguise themselves and face the punishment of a Mortal Kombat battle in somepony else's place?"

"It's got to be the money, partner!" Ted offered. "Everypony's got a price!"

As those in the crowd began whispering amongst themselves, Kitana threw up her hands in disgust. "You know what? I don't even care!" she announced. "I came out here to stomp a pony into the ground, and that's just what I plan to do!"

"Before you do," Twilight's voice crackled from the walkie-talkie around Rarity's neck, "I have one last question: What's soaking wet and clueless?"

"Didn't Shing already use that..." Rainbow stopped as a massive shadow enveloped the entire beach.

"TIDAL WAVE!!!" A voice from the crowd screamed out.

Rarity and Rainbow turned towards the shore, only to be greeted by the sight of a massive wall of water headed straight towards the beach. "Er...Rainbow?" Rarity asked. "I believe we have overstayed our welcome."

"Ya think?" Rainbow Dash scooped up Rarity and made a break for the treeline, beating the water there by a mere five seconds. The rest of the crowd, unfortunately, was not blessed with Rainbow's speed, and took the full brunt of the wave as it crashed upon shore.

The wave receded as quickly as it came in, leaving spectators, broadcasters, and even a certain Outworld emperor and changeling monarch face down in the mud. Standing in the middle of the scene, completely dry and looking quite pleased with herself, was the real Twilight Sparkle. She quickly made her way over to where the battle referee was laying. "Excuse me, sir," she asked, "but I believe the battle is over."

The referee picked his head up off the ground, spit a flounder out of his mouth, and looked over at Twilight. "It is?"

Twilight pointed a hoof at where Sheeva had landed, then over to where Kitana had her head wedged in the sand. "See?"

"Huh...I guess you're right," the referee agreed. He stood up and raised his arms. "This battle is over! Twilight Sparkle wins!"

"Thank you, kind sir." Twilight patted the official on the back, then made her way to the treeline, where Rainbow Dash and Rarity were waiting for her. "How did you do that?" Rainbow asked. "I thought you couldn't use magic..."

"You don't need magic to make a big wave," Twilight explained. "You just need something big to throw into the water."

"But what would you have found around here..." Rainbow Dash stopped and followed Twilight's gaze over to Shao Kahn's castle, which now had roughly half as many towers as it had a few minutes ago. "I...uh...well played, girl," Rainbow finally declared.

"Well, Twilight," Rarity inquired, "perhaps you'd like to explain why you didn't just do that in the beginning, and thus saved me the trouble of getting my hair cut and my face rearranged!"

"Uh...well...gosh, look at the time!" Twilight rushed over to where Kitana was half-buried in the sand. "We'd better tie Chrysalis up and get her back to our hut, so Shining Armor can take her into custody when he gets here!"

"Fine," Rarity replied, "but I expect this favor to be repaid!"

As the three ponies carried 'Chrysalis' away from the beach, the real changeling queen—minus her disguise, but now sporting the Million Dollar Man's gold-plated sunglasses—raised her head and looked over at the soaked form of Shao Kahn beside her. "'Foolproof plan,' you said," she hissed. "'Destruction of Twilight Sparkle,' you said. Honestly, do you even listen to me? This happens every time! You think you've got that little witch cornered, and then pow! She pulls some miraculous stunt out of her butt, and..."

Shao Kahn reached over and grabbed Chrysalis's mouth with his hand. "Oh, shut up."

Comments

[Cloverleaf]

2232368

actually, it has been shown that Scorpion learned of the deceit Quan Chi wrought, and got his revenge there. His hate for Sub Zero has ebbed since, and now there's not much in the way of hate between them. True not all endings are canon, but for example, MK2, scorpion learned that the sub zero there was merciful, and not the one that supposedly slaughtered his family. He made efforts to make amends by trying to protect sub zero. There are a few other examples. While they're not exactly on good terms, I doubt the current sub zero and scorpion outright hate each other.

[Dozy Dreamer]

A pleasant surprise to see this updated.
And a half-decent chapter after that slight hiatus.
Well played, ser.

[SK Alex]

x3

[Green Akers]

3287738 Sorry for the long wait - a couple of one-shot stories knocked this one down the priority list, and then a case of carpal tunnel knocked me off the interwebz for a while.

Glad you liked the chapter! I'll try to get the next one out quicker!

[TundraStanza]

I guess in this round, there are no winners.
Twilight didn't get the right changeling.
Rarity got dirt in her mane.
Shao Kahn and Chrysalis didn't eliminate Twilight.
Kitana got taken away.
Sheeva lost the round.
Everybody lost... hooray.
...
Nope, I couldn't say that with a straight face.

[Rainbooms]

3288907
OBJECTION!

Rainbow Dash didn't lose.

[TundraStanza]

3289291, You now realize why I ended my comment with a laugh.

[Rainbooms]

3289299
I know.

I just wanted to object to something.

[Lance Skyes]

Great chapter. Now... MAKE MORE OR SO HELP ME I WILL USE MY ON YOU!

That pretty much means if you don't make more, I'm gonna turn you into cupcakes.

[Green Akers]

3511123 Have no fear: MKE is currently atop my priority list! My goal is to get Chapter 17 out to everypony by the end of the year.