Mortal Kombat: Equestria

by Green Akers

Clothes Break The Mare

The defeat of Twilight Sparkle set the Internet ablaze within minutes, and quickly became the lead story of every media outlet on the planet. Within hours, the fallout included a thousand point drop in the New York Stock Exchange, the raising of threat levels in fifteen countries (and the subsequent worldwide shortage of duct tape and plastic sheeting), and a rash of faintings back in Ponyville (which, after further investigation, just turned out to be the same three ponies fainting over and over). World leaders from every corner of the globe suddenly found themselves locked in top-secret teleconferences with their advisers and allies, all trying to come up with a defensive strategy for the assumed Outworld invasion.

The scene was no different in Canterlot Castle, where Princess Luna had gathered the nation's top military minds in the throne room to come up with their own plan of action. "Tell us," Luna asked one of the generals, "in what state of readiness are thy ground forces?"

"We stand five thousand strong and counting!" the general replied. "Three earth pony battalions have already been mobilized, with two unicorn units available for magical support."

"Five thousand troops will not be enough to stop Kahn's forces combined with the changeling horde," Luna grumbled. She thrust a hoof towards the lone Wonderbolt in attendance. "What about our air defenses, Miss Spitfire?"

"Every flier we have is prepped and ready for takeoff!" Spitfire said with a salute. "We may be small in number, but—"

"'One Wonderbolt equals ten of anything else,' yes, we know." Luna turned to one of her suit-wearing diplomats. "Have thee received word from our allies?"

The diplomat nodded. "The zebra, buffalo, and griffons stand with us against the Outworld menace!"

"And the dragons?" Luna inquired.

"Well..." The diplomat gave Luna a sheepish smile. "The dragons decided to send our messenger back without burning his mane off for a change."

"Curse their hubris!" Luna slammed a hoof on the ground in frustration. "Those scaled simpletons have no idea what kind of power they will be facing! If they do not join forces with us, they face certain extinction!"

From her seat at the far end of the room, Princess Celestia rolled her eyes at her sister's melodramatics. "Would you ponies just chill out for a minute?" She paused to take a sip of her lemonade. "We're not beaten yet, you know. We still have two ponies competing in the tournament."

"Yes," Luna muttered, "we remain represented by a mouthy, insecure pegasus and a fussy, obsessive-compulsive fashionista. Forgive us if this arrangement does not fill us with confidence."

"We remain represented by two Elements of Harmony," Celestia corrected her sister as she pointed out the pictures of Rainbow Dash and Rarity on one of the stained glass windows. "They are just as capable of victory as my student." She took another pull on her drink. "There's no use crying over milk that hasn't spilt yet."

"Well, we can at least have our napkins and paper towels ready for when it does!" Luna shot back.

"This from the pony who chose playing Call of Duty over defending our homeland during the last changeling invasion," Celestia pointed out. "Still, if fretting over our defenses helps you sleep during the day, knock yourself out." She shrugged, then stood up and walked to the door. "As much as I'd love to stay and play with you all, I have a pressing engagement in New York City that I must attend."

"What are you doing?" Luna asked as Celestia walked by. "Are you requesting military assistance from the United States? Are you consulting with the UN?"

Celestia paused and flashed a mischievous smile. "I'm taping a lip sync battle for The Tonight Show," she revealed. "Jimmy Fallon better bring his A game tonight, because I know the words to every Luke Bryan song ever recorded, and I am not afraid to fake-sing them."

Luna smacked her face with her hoof as her sister left the room. "We should probably get a recording of her actually singing those songs," she grumbled. "That would scare Kahn away much faster than any army."

---

The mood on Shao Kahn's island, of course, was the exact opposite of that of the rest of the world. In fact, Kahn and Chrysalis had their spirits lifted so high by Twilight's fall that they organized a raucous kegger for that evening, complete with togas, beach balls, slip 'n slides, a Florida Georgia Line concert, and enough cheap pizza and beer to make a fraternity brother jealous. Those in attendance agreed that, while it wasn't a Pinkie Pie party, it was still rather enjoyable.

Rainbow Dash and Rarity, however, decided not to partake in the festivities, which made the pair the only cogent creatures left on the island the next morning. Since they had nothing better to do, the two ponies walked over to the tournament bulletin board to see what the battle matchups would be in the next round. Neither pony said a word the entire trip, as both mares had a strong suspicion about who they would be facing.

The matchup list was predictably blank when the two ponies arrived. "So...how long do you think we'll have to wait this time?" Rainbow asked.

"Probably another few hours, which will be a few hours too long." Rarity grimaced as she looked over at a nearby trash can, which was overflowing with empty bottles, discarded articles of clothing, and the remains of several life-size Lego figures. "Every time I believe this toxic atmosphere cannot get any worse, I am unpleasantly surprised."

"Hiiiieee!" Suddenly, a wide-eyed, creepy-smiling Fran bounded out from the nearby bushes. "How are you fine girls this morning? Isn't it lovely out today?" she said at warp speed, her eyes twitching and limbs quivering as she spoke.

Rainbow Dash arched an eyebrow at Fran's strange behavior. "Um...are you alright?"

"Never better, thanks!" Fran replied cheerily and rapidly. "I was just feeling a little slow this morning after having one too many pink lemonades last night, so I had a triple shot of espresso and now everything's fine and dandy!"

"You don't drink caffeine much, do you?" Rarity asked.

"Oh no, never! I just wanted to make sure I would be awake!" Fran said. "We don't want to keep people in suspense over today's battles!"

"I see," Rarity said with a sigh. "Well, I suppose your diligence is to be commended."

The two ponies waited patiently as Fran tried to keep her hand and eyes steady long enough to write down the battle matchups. "There!" Fran said, squinting as she looked at the indecipherable scribbles on the board. "How does that look?"

Rainbow frowned. "It looks like I used my tail to—"

"Just perfect! Very well done," Rarity interrupted, stuffing her hoof in Rainbow's mouth to stifle the pegasus's comment. "Never denigrate a woman on a caffeine high," Rarity whispered. "Trust me, it just makes things ugly."

"Great! Well, I'd better go back to the castle—our files need alphabetizing, our walls need painting, and our courtesy vehicles need the air changed in their tires!" Fran turned and half-walked, half-bounded off towards the castle.

The pony pair watched Fran disappear into the distance, then turned back to the board. "Well," Rainbow noted, "that line has two scribbles instead of one, and the first letter in the first one kind of looks like an R..."

"It's probably you," Rarity said, "just like that shorter scribble below it is probably me."

Rainbow Dash and Rarity stared silently at the board for a moment. "So...you and me," Rainbow offered. "Well, I can't say I didn't see that one coming."

"Likewise," Rarity agreed, sticking her hoof out towards Rainbow. "Well, Rainbow," she offered, "I suppose there's nothing else to do but wish each other luck, give this battle our all, and let the chips fall where they may. No hard feelings?"

Rainbow nodded and returned Rarity hoof-bump. "Works for me," she said, "I'd say 'may the best pony win,' but hey, we already know that's me."

"Of course." Rarity rolled her eyes. "Now then, I suppose I had better get all my ducks in a row before today's kerfuffle. I must get my outfit together, find some suitable accessories, alert the media as to my latest appearance..."

"Right, because that's really important." Rainbow Dash shook her head and leaped into the air. "Well, I've got some super important stuff to do right now, so I'm gonna, um, go do it right now. Later!"

Rarity watched as Rainbow flew off into the clouds. "Ten bits says she spends the rest of the morning napping, thinking she's already won this fight," she said to herself. She used her magic to pull Twilight's copy of The Art Of War out of her saddlebag. "Well, I think Rainbow will be in for quite a surprise when we meet again this afternoon."

---

Rainbow actually spent the rest of the morning searching for brain for a decent battle strategy, pacing a hole through three separate clouds in the process. "How am I gonna compete against Rarity?" she wondered. "Outfit or no outfit, she can pull me out of the sky with one wave of her horn!" She pounded her head with her hoof a few times, hoping a good idea would fall out. "How can I counter her magic?"

Rainbow looked up at the sparse cloud covering that hung over the island. "Maybe I could throw another big storm together and make the whole place wet and muddy," she said. "Of course, Rarity would probably just come out wearing her ruby-studded raincoat with the matching galoshes." Rainbow shook her head. "Seriously, who worries about being color-coordinated in a fight? I'm glad I don't have to worry about stupid stuff like—"

The solution struck Rainbow like a lightning bolt. "That's it!" she declared excitedly. "That's how I beat Rarity! I just need the right outfit!" She looked down at Kahn's castle and smiled evilly. "And I know just where to find it."

Rainbow Dash quickly made her way to the castle, darting from cloud to cloud to avoid detection. Upon reaching the cloud closest to the building, she took a couple quick looks to see if anyone was watching, then made one last mad dash and dove through a open window on one of the upper floors.

Rainbow did a quick somersault upon hitting the floor and dived behind the nearest piece of cover she could find, which turned out to be a large stereo. She looked around to confirm that the room, which appeared to be a room for one of Kahn's fighters, was empty. "Huh. I wonder whose room—" She scowled as she spotted a stack of Madonna CDs near the stereo. "On second thought," she decided, "I'd rather not know."

Turning to the door, Rainbow opened it a small crack to see if the hallway was clear. Her eyes widened in shock as she spotted two undisguised changelings standing nearby. "What are those guys doing here?" she wondered. "I thought Kahn double-crossed Chrysalis and turned her over to Shining Armor."

Out in the hallway, the changelings were having a heated debate over the important events of the day. "You're crazy!" one of the changelings told the other. "Season one was the absolute pinnacle of the Epic Rap Battles of History! They've been diluting their material for mass consumption ever since!"

"Baloney!" the second changeling said. "The newer battles are way better! The lyrics are sharper, the acting is crisper, the production is more professional—heck, even their beats have more bounce!"

Rainbow Dash smacked her face with her hoof as the changelings argued. "I'm just wasting time waiting here," she muttered. "Luckily, these guys don't look too bright. I wonder..."

Rainbow threw open the door and walked straight up to the two changelings. "Hey, guys!" she shouted. "Check out my disguise! I'm Rainbow Dash!" She jumped up and did a couple half-speed circles in the air above them, making sound effects as she went. "Zoom, zoom!"

The changelings were unmoved by Rainbow's display. "Dude," the first changeling said, "that has got to be the worst Rainbow Dash disguise I've ever seen."

The second changeling nodded. "Pitiful. Just pitiful."

"Excuse me?" Rainbow came back down and frowned at the changelings. "What's wrong with my disguise?"

"For one thing," changeling #1 began, "your muscles are way too defined. The real Rainbow Dash looks a lot scrawnier and wimpier."

"And uglier, too!" changeling #2 added. "Seriously, not even that apple pony makes me gag as much as Miss Clown Hair does. Her face looks like somepony took a hammer and—"

POW! The conversation was abruptly ended when Rainbow Dash spun around and bucked both changelings in the face, crumpling them in a heap against the wall. "If you value your lives," she growled at the unconscious changelings, "you won't finish that sentence."

The changelings had nothing more to say, of course, so Rainbow Dash dragged them both into the room she had just exited. "Gotta hide the evidence," she said as she closed the door. She then looked up and down the hallway at the identical doors that lined the walls. "The rooms don't even have name tags," she grumbled. "How am I supposed to find the right one?"

"Hiiiieee!" The sudden sound of Fran's voice nearly caused Rainbow to jump out of her skin. "Can I help you with anything?" Fran asked.

"Actually, yes," Rainbow admitted. "I'm wondering if you could point me to somepony's room..."

---

As Rainbow infiltrated Kahn's castle, Rarity spent her preparation time hunkered down in the pony's hut. However, instead of preparing her outfit—well, mostly instead of preparing her outfit; regardless of the stakes, Rarity couldn't stand the thought of being televised while improperly attired—Rarity was reading up on spells that might be useful in battle. "Let's see," she said to herself, "for a proper shield spell, the book says to imagine the shape of the shield in your mind. I wonder if I could make a good cake dome..."

Rarity closed her eyes and summoned her magic. After a few seconds of concentration, a small, light-blue magical aura materialized around her, encasing her in a protective shield. Rarity opened her eyes briefly to survey her work. "That wasn't so difficult," she remarked. "Now, for the best part." She focused on her shield a bit more, but instead of glowing brighter, it appeared to vanish into thin air.

Rarity re-opened her eyes and stuck her hoof out, confirming that she was prevented from fully extending her leg by a unseen force. "Perfect!" she declared with a smile. "A shield that's both there and not there! Why, I daresay that even Shining Armor would be impressed."

Rarity dissolved her shield and walked over to her bags lying in the corner of the hut. "Rainbow may think she's too fast for me," she said, "but she can't stop for what she can't see." She looked down into one of the open bags, which contained various toiletry items. "She'll charge face first into my shield, which will slow her down long enough for me to counterattack, and when I do..."

Rarity grinned mischievously as she pulled out her hoof file. "I don't believe it will take long for Miss Don't Touch My Hooves to crack."

---

It took a while for Kahn's staff to clean up after the previous night's soirée, which pushed the ponies' fight back into the late afternoon. Still, the bout drew a good crowd to its mountaintop location, and it provided a beautiful sunset backdrop for the international televised audience. "The end of another day means the beginning of another Mortal Kombat throwdown!" Joe Buck narrated from the ringside broadcast booth. "It's time for the first semifinal match of this tournament, and no matter what happens, we're going to find out who will claim the title of Best Pony."

"Absolutamundo, brother!" Hulk agreed. "One's got speed, the other's got style, but who's got the guts to be the last pony standing?"

"Whoever it is will represent the last hope of humanity and ponykind against the designs of Shao Kahn," Joe said, "so a lot of people of understandably anxious about this fight."

"Not me!" Hulk declared, pounding his chest for emphasis. "DayGlo Trash and Ferret Pee has proven themselves to be true ultimate warriors, just like my man Jimmy Hellwig! Take the Hulkster's advice, Kahn, and start sleeping with one eye open!"

Next to the broadcast booth, Rarity and Rainbow Dash winced at Hulk's mangling of their names. "I never dreamed I would be nostalgic for the days of Highlight Speckle," Rarity remarked.

"At least you won't have three lunkheads waiting to throw that name at you the next time you're in Cloudsdale," Rainbow muttered.

"By the way," Rarity asked, "why on earth are you wearing that drab old cloak?"

Rainbow looked down at her attire for a moment. "Let's make a deal: I won't tell you why I'm wearing this, and you don't have to tell me what you're planning to do with that makeup bag."

"What makeup bag?" Rarity kicked her bag behind a nearby rock and gave Rainbow her sincerest smile. "I don't know what you're talking about, darling."

"Right..." Rainbow rolled her eyes.

Eventually, a tuxedoed announcer stepped into the ring. "Ladies and gentlemen," his voice echoed across the mountaintop, "welcome to today's Mortal Kombat matchup! Now, please put your hands and hooves together as we introduce our combatants!"

The crowd responded with a polite round of applause, just slightly more raucous than a crowd at a golf match. "I miss Pinkie," Rainbow said to no one in particular. "This place is kinda boring without her."

"In this corner," the announcer continued, "a winged warrior who was recently named the second most eligible bachelorette in Equestria—"

"Wait, what?!" Rainbow's face turned red. "I'm supposed to be awesome, not eligible!"

"—the pride of Cloudsdale, Rainbow Dash!" The announcer gestured towards the opposite side of the circle. "And in this corner, the most prolific pony fashion designer in the world, and the third most eligible bachelorette—"

"What?!?!" Rarity was in the announcer's face in an instant. "How could I be behind Rainbow Dash? And who could possibly be number one?"

"I just took the list from a Trenderhoof article, ma'am," the announcer said with a shrug. "I didn't make it myself."

Rarity grumbled something about rotten apples as she returned to her side of the ring.

"Rarity, ladies and gentlemen!" the announcer continued. "Now then, are the combatants ready?"

"I've been ready for two hours!" Rainbow shouted. "Let's go already!"

"I concur," Rarity said. "We have waited long enough."

"Then let's get to it!" The announcer brought his hands together above his head. "FIGHT!"

Knowing that time was of the essence, Rarity closed her eyes and summoned her shield. Instead of pressing the issue, however, Rainbow yawned, stretched her legs, and reached for her cloak. "It's getting a little hot out here," she declared. "Maybe I should take this off..."

The loud gasp that followed piqued Rarity's curiosity enough for her to open her eyes. What stood before her was a horror too unspeakable to behold: Rainbow standing proudly in the ring wearing an entire wardrobe of the loudest, tackiest, gaudiest clothes in the known universe. "You like?" Rainbow asked with an impish smile.

"AAAHHH!!!" Rarity screamed and fell over backwards, and her shield fizzled out weakly. She covered her eyes to shield them from the sight, but the image was already seared into her retinas. "I... I can't feel my face!" she wailed. "Help! Medic! Sweet mother of Cadance, I'm blind!"

Rainbow laughed at Rarity's meltdown. "That was just too—"

"It was you!" An angry Shing Tsung, wearing a much less ostentatious outfit than usual, pushed his way into the ring and pointed an accusatory finger at Rainbow. "You're the thief who broke into my crib and lifted all my threads!"

"Hey, I'm not stealing your junk, I'm borrowing it!" Rainbow clarified. She gagged as she looked at the plaid/leopard/Hawaiian prints on her front legs. "Seriously, you think I wanna keep these?"

"Give them back right now!" Shing demanded. "I mean, I laid out serious bread for those at Walmart!"

"It looks like Rainbow Dash has started a beef with the soul collector," Joe narrated for the benefit of the TV audience. "But was her fashion crime enough to subdue her opponent?"

From her position on the ground, Rarity tried to regain her composure. "Must... Fight... Back..." she said as she stood up. She tried to re-summon her shield, but Rainbow's outfit had fried her focus, and she failed. "Moldy applesauce!" she cursed, using her hoof to shield her eyes. "I'm afraid I have no choice but to go on the offensive!" Rarity turned to her makeup bag and used her magic to withdraw not one, not two, but twenty hoof files, and send them in Rainbow's general direction. "Time to make our tacky friend a bit more fabulous!"

"Whoa!" Rainbow leaped back in surprise as a file whizzed past her nose. "Watch what you're doing with—" Her eyes widened when she realized what was heading her way, and how many of them were coming. "Oh no you don't!" she said. "Nopony files my hooves without permission!"

Rainbow Dash began zigzagging across the sky in an attempt to evade Rarity's floating army of files. This turned out to be fairly easy, given Rainbow's speed and the fact that Rarity could not look directly at her opponent without getting queasy. "Hah!" Rainbow laughed as she dodged her opponent's minions. "You'll have to try harder than that to catch the fastest flier in—"

Suddenly, disaster struck: Rainbow turned her head towards the crowd at the exact moment a large flashbulb went off from the press section. "Gah!" Rainbow sputtered, her vision now clouded by stars. The event was just enough to let the hoof files catch up, and they wasted no time in collapsing tightly around Rainbow's back hooves. With this complete, two files peeled off and begin filing her back hooves for all they were worth.

Rainbow started squirming and giggling at the file's actions. "Stop it!" she said in between chuckles. "Th-That tickles!" She tried to pull her legs free, but the other files held firm, and she was powerless to resist. Her giggles quickly turned into full-blown laughter, and eventually her wings could no longer keep her aloft, and she crash-landed in the battle ring.

"And Rarity responds with a powerful tickle torture combo!" Joe declared. "Could we have finally reached the rainbow's end?"

Rarity laughed as Rainbow flopped around on the sand in a vain attempt to free herself from the files. "I'm afraid there's no escaping this time," she declared. "Capitulate immediately, or I shall be forced to file your legs into nubs!"

"Ah ha ha! Never!" Rainbow managed to say. "I'll—ha ha!—never give up!"

"Stop that right now!" Shing cried from the sidelines. "I mean, you're getting my clothes dirty!"

"I like to think of it as putting them out of their misery," Rarity replied. "Perhaps a ceremonial burning after the battle would be most appro—ack!" Rarity was cut off when Rainbow's squirming accidentally kicked a hoofful of dirt into the unicorn's mouth. "Blech! Disgusting!" Rarity shouted as she tried to spit out the dirt.

The soil snack broke Rarity's concentration long enough for Rainbow Dash to break free from her hoof file tormentors, and the pegasus wasted no time in getting back in the air. Her first order of business was to locate the person who had blinded her and give him a good tongue-lashing. "What's your deal?" she demanded upon finding the perpetrator. "Are you trying to get me killed?"

"I'm trying to make a living, pal!" the photographer countered. "I can get twenty g's for a good action shot!"

"Yeah, It's not our fault everypony and their mare wants to see you!" a second photographer chimed in.

A light flickered on in Rainbow's brain. "That's right!" she realized, looking up at a nearby TV camera. "Everypony's watching, aren't they?"

By this point, Rarity had regained her bearings and was preparing for another file attack, so Rainbow countered by soaring into the air and hiding behind one of the few clouds that hung low in the sky. "Fly all you want, Rainbow!" Rarity shouted as she aimed her files. "You cannot outrun my fury!"

"I'm not running, I'm being modest," Rainbow called back, as several sleeves and pant legs waved from behind the cloud. "I figured you would appreciate that."

Rarity scowled, and launched her metal minions towards the cloud Rainbow was hiding behind. Before they could get there, however, Rainbow burst through the cloud at Mach two, roaring past the files while carrying all the ugly clothing she had previously been wearing. "Hey Rarity!" she shouted as she hurled the clothes at the unicorn. "Catch!"

"What?" Rarity was caught flathooved, and before she could react, she was buried under an avalanche of ugly laundry. "AUGH!" she screamed from underneath the pile. "GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!!!"

As Rarity wailed, Rainbow rushed over to the broadcast booth and snatched a portable TV camera from the FOX production crew. "Hey!" Joe objected. "We need that for the post-match coverage!"

Rainbow rushed back over to the ring and stuffed the lens of the camera underneath the clothes pile. "Look, seven million zillion people and ponies of the world!" she said. "It's Rarity, and she's wearing mismatched plaid!"

"EYAH!" Rarity burst out of the clothes like a dolphin jumping out of the ocean. "Keep that away from me!" she shrieked, as a stray tiger-striped belt dangled from her horn. "I can't be seen in public covered in awful garments like those!"

"News flash: You already have been," Rainbow Dash pointed out. "An image of you covered is ugly styles has been burned into the minds of millions, plus it's been captured by Celestia-knows-how-many people over there."

Rarity turned to face the millions of cameras flashing from the crowd. Her face became even paler than usual as the realization swept over her. "They...they have pictures? All of them?"

Rainbow nodded. "Bet you're the lead story on DMV, or whatever that weird show is."

Rarity began to feel a little woozy, but with her last wisp of magic, she pulled Joe and Hulk's table off of the broadcast booth and into the ring. She brought a hoof to her forehead, stood up onto her back legs, and fainted away onto the table. "That's it!" the announcer proclaimed. "This battle is over! The winner is Rainbow Dash!"

"Aw yeah!" Rainbow celebrated by spiking the camera she had taken onto the ground, where it shattered into a million pieces.

"What a battle, brother!" Hulk wrapped Joe in a huge bear hug. "You know it was an epic throwdown when even our set gets trashed!"

"Out of the way!" Shing rushed into the ring to survey the damage to his clothes. He fell to his knees as the sight of his torn, dirty linens lying on the ground. "You...you monster," he snapped at Rainbow. "I mean, you ruined everything!"

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Chillax, dude," she said. "I didn't ruin all your stuff." She flew over to the side of the ring and dragged a large bag out from behind one of the television cameras. "I couldn't figure out how to wear some of this stuff, so I didn't." She pulled a pair of tighty whities out of the bag. "Seriously, what do I do with these? Do I wear them on my front legs, or my back? And what am I supposed to do with my tail?"

"You went commando in my clothes!?" Shing clutched his chest as if he was having a heart attack, and he slammed his face into the ground. "It's just not fair!" he sobbed. "Not fair at all!"

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes again. "Geez, what a baby." She turned back to where Rarity lay on the table, and let out a big sigh. "I guess it's just me now," she said to herself.

Suddenly, Rainbow found herself surrounded by reporters, all shoving their microphones in her face. "Miss Dash!" one shouted. "How does it feel to be the only thing standing between Shao Kahn and world domination?"

"Are you up to the task of being the savior of humanity and ponykind?" another asked.

"Is there anything you'd like to say to Kahn right now?" a third inquired.

"Uh..." Rainbow stared out at the press for a moment as she pondered her response. "Up to the task?" she finally said. "Of course I'm up to the task!" She pointed back at Rarity. "Tell Kahn to enjoy this," she said, "'cause it'll be the last time he sees a pony lose!" Her eyes narrowed. "He's gonna rue the day he challenged the Element of Loyalty."

---

Chrysalis, for her part, decided to forgo attending either semifinal battle in person, and instead watched the fights from a TV in Shao Kahn's office. Kahn left to watch the primetime match from his private box, but returned after a stray fireball burned the whole structure to the ground. "How did it turn out?" Kahn asked upon his return.

Chrysalis shrugged. "How should I know? Both fighters looked the same to me."

"It doesn't matter," Kahn said. "Neither Taven nor Daegon cause me to lose any sleep at night." He reached over and changed the channel to CNN, where a trio of anchors were discussing Rainbow's comments from earlier in the day. "My my!" Kahn said with a smile. "Doesn't she know it's considered bad form to provide bulletin board material for her opponent? Why, Bill Belichick must be turning over in his grave right now, and he's not even dead yet!"

"Get used to it," Chrysalis said. "Of all the ponies that came here, she is the one with the smallest brain and the biggest mouth."

"Well, we can't have a pony walking around here thinking they have a bigger mouth than me!" Kahn walked over to his desk, pulled out a shiny new laptop, and logged on to his Twitter account. Looking forward to facing Miss Dash in #MortalKombat, he typed. Rainbows always end, and I shall enjoy claiming my pot of gold. #RainbowDeath

Comments

[Frost Bear]

Rainbow Dash vs Shao Kahn

Hammer spam hammer spam hammer spam hammer spam "You suck!" hammer spam hammer spam FATALITY!

[TundraStanza]

This is going to require a tactical nuke to fix everything, isn't it?

[Green Akers]

5010239 Nah, I used that trick back in the Scorpion fight. I'll think of something better this time! (...I hope. )