• Published 3rd Dec 2019
  • 618 Views, 52 Comments

Fallout Equestria: Our Will (rewrite) - AngryPenguin

Raised above the cloud curtain, Lietenant Sienna has been dropped in the wasteland thanks to a failed rescue mission. Now, she's in unfamiliar territory and being threatened by a mysterious villain. Can she help her new friends before it's too late?

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Chapter 16: Ideals

"Alright, here's the plan..."

Scars. Tissue that has been healed after an injury in such a way that it leaves a permanent mark. There are ways you can prevent scarring, or rather make it less noticeable. Most of the time, your hair will not grow back in the spot. So, why do we have mental scarring? By exact definition, it doesn't make sense. Our cognition is intangible, therefore, it cannot be physically wounded. However, it doesn't mean our mental health cannot sustain injury. A broader explanation would be trauma that we have underwent. That can wound us, mentally. I was coming to terms with a lot of my mental scars, until that happened to me. It was a pretty noticeable mark on my psyche. Our immediate state may heal in time, but it will always be there. The memory. The pain. The experience. It's okay to feel that way. It's okay to have those marks. They're just reminders of what we are capable of getting through. Time heals, after all.

Before I could get my words out, Violet and Redd trotted into my room. The former held a canteen. She hoofed it to me. "Here, I got some water for you." She dug in her bag and pulled out a familiar clam shell container. "I also found-"

"Is that cake?" I perked my ears, thankful for both the interruption and the sweet, sweet delicacy.

She chuckled, setting it next to me. "Yes. You know I always come through for my B.F.F."

I rubbed my hooves together, greedily. The dessert to end all desserts. The staple of every celebration. The crown jewel of my life. Cake. I took a large bite, chewing slowly to savor the strawberry and vanilla flavors. The horrors of the last day were suddenly a little more bearable.

Oh, Luna, I love this stuff!

"I'll have to take some of this back home." I took another bite.

I saw the sudden drop of Redd's content expression. He dropped his ears and eyes, swallowing.

I paused to look at him. "What's wrong?"

He sighed, dragging his hoof down his face. "Remember that thing I had to tell you a few days ago?"

I nodded, chewing a little slower.

"Well, I know you might take it pretty hard, but it's probably something you need to know..." He tensed. "We, uh... We can't go back."

I swallowed the mouth full, staring at him. Can't go back?

Violet and Nico shared concern.

"We're considered AWOL. They only gave me twenty-four hours to bring you back, so..." He watched my reaction. "I'm sorry, Sia."

My attention slowly diverted to the partially eaten piece of confectionery. We couldn't go back. My old life was gone, in only seconds. Grandma and Grandpa would never see me, again. My position in the Enclave. My house and all my other belongings. I tried to think of what else I would be leaving behind. Besides my grandparents, everything I had going for me was pretty trivial. My foalhood was the best years of my life. After bootcamp, it all just became repetitive. But I liked repetitive. At least, I thought I did. I wanted to be upset that I couldn't return. The day before, I probably would have been. That moment, though, I felt... nothing. A little disappointed, but it wasn't overwhelming. Having to spend the rest of my life in this wasteland should have scared me to death. I was just... numb.

"S-Sia, we'll figure something out." Nico assured.

I picked my head up. They all wore the same expression.

They're expecting me to cry. To them, I'm supposed to break down. Because, I'm fragile.

I tightened my jaw. No, they're my friends. They care how I feel, that's all.

Whatever you have to tell yourself.

While my internal monologue argued with itself, I didn't even notice Violet trying to get my attention. "Sia? Are you... okay?"

I snapped out of my daze. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine." I took another small bite of cake.

Nico looked at Violet, flattening his ears.

"You're taking this pretty well." He said, trying to tread lightly.

I shrugged. "I guess I'm just used to being here. I really shouldn't have expected to go back. Besides," I gave him a smile. "I'm here with you guys."

I finished the cake in silence. Nopony wanted to say anything, so I set the empty container to the side and let go of a breath. "Look, I know it's probably weird that I'm not freaking out or anything, but I'm telling you the truth. I feel fine. I'm a little disappointed, but fine."

They all shared another look. I ignored it. The silence was starting to annoy me.

"So..." Violet spoke. "What's our next move? I mean, when you get out of here?"

I looked down at my Pipbuck. It was hard to concentrate on a real plan. I knew two things for certain: Hope wanted the pearls and she was watching me. I assumed she knew where I was because there was a tracker in the Pipbuck. There was no doubt in my mind she had been following us.

"Hope can't get those pearls." I finally said.

"What about Floater?" Nico asked.

"I have to stop her, Nico. If she gets them, all of Equestria could be in danger. I have to find a way to stop her before she can do anything."

Violet scoffed, getting all of our attention. "I hope you mean 'we'. You are not getting into any trouble without us." She gestured to herself, Redd, and Nico.

I smiled. What else could I say?

"What about the Pipbuck?" Redd pointed out, inspecting the contraption. "She had it at one time, right? Surely, that location is still there."

I stared at the pony on the screen before I tapped a button, bringing up the map. All the locations I had been were there. I didn't see any unfamiliar markers, though. Even the farmer's market was there.

"There's nothing here." I said, quietly.

"She had to have wiped it clean before she gave it to you." Nico said.

I nodded in defeat.

"Can't you restore everything, though? All you'd need is a-"

"A terminal!" Violet stomped, interrupting Redd. "Not just any terminal, though. You'd need a special one that can hack into the Pipbuck's mainframe and get back all the data. Technically, it may not even be lost. She could have have just hidden away the information deep inside the software."

I sat up. "Where can we find one of those?"

She inhaled, then stopped. Finally, she deflated. "I don't know."

"Thunderhead." Violet and I turned to Redd. That had to be a joke.

He pinned his ears back, defensively. "What? That's the only terminal I know of that's capable of that sort of thing."

Violet rolled her eyes. "Great idea. We should totally just waltz up there and kindly ask them to let us borrow it. While we're at it, let's say, 'Hey! Sorry we flew the coop! Please, take us back!'"

"Okay, smart ass. I don't see you pulling a terminal from your-"

"Knock it off, guys! We need to work together, remember?" I scolded. "Redd does have a point, however rudely he may have put it. I haven't seen many operational terminals just lying around, besides the one back at your bunker."

I gasped in realization, but was stopped by Violet holding a hoof up. "That terminal is just a basic system. I had to rig it just to open that security door down there."

I drooped. So much for that.

"What about this hospital? We could ask Zangth." I told her." I... probably need to apologize, anyway."

"I doubt it. Hospitals don't really have a use for those types of computers. Not anymore, anyway." Nico added.

I squeezed my eyes shut in frustration. Finding a functioning, super computer in a two-hundred year post-apocalyptic wasteland was not going to be easy. Even if we managed to find one, I was sure it would be claimed by somepony. I also doubted they would be willing to share. I really wished I could wire my brain to the damn thing.

A thought suddenly popped into my head. "The orb."

Violet threw a questioning glance.

"The memory orb." I repeated. "Maybe there's something there that can help us. I just have to figure out how I can look at it." I scanned the room. "Where is my bag?"

Nico pulled my bag from under the bed. I thanked him and took it, digging inside. My hoof finally tapped the cool, glass orb and pulled it out. The off white orb swirled with magic, casting a soft glow around it. It was pretty, but no telling what it would do to the mind of a pegasus. If what Nico said was true, only unicorns were originally supposed to be able to use them.

"How the hay are you supposed to use that?" Violet tapped her chin.

I shrugged, then look at Nico.

As if reading my mind, he shook his head. "No way. It was intended for you. As far as I'm concerned, it's none of my business."

I frowned. "I don't have a horn. You d-"

"Hey, look!" Redd pointed to the chain around my neck. The jewel pulsed with a soft glow that matched the memory orb's rhythm.

I was so entranced, I didn't notice Nico grabbing it from me. "Hold on. We don't know what will happen if you play around with that sort of thing. Let's just wait until we figure that necklace out a little more, okay?" He almost begged.

I sighed as the necklace went back to normal. "You don't think..."

He shrugged. "I don't know. There's a connection, somehow. When a unicorn views a memory orb, the arcane energy from our horn has to connect with the magic that's contained inside the orb." He lowered his gaze to my necklace. "You said Rarity told you that since you put it on, you're the only one who can use it, right?"

I nodded.

He thought some more. "So, that must mean some of your energy had to be transferred to the jewelry for the enchantment to work. It had to be able to read you, after all."

"I'm still having a hard time believing a dead ministry mare is living inside your necklace." Violet said, raising a brow. "She's got to be, what? Very wrinkly and old?"

I grinned, sheepishly. "She can actually... hear and see you."

Violet flattened her ears. "Oh... Sorry, Miss Rarity."

Just as I was about to laugh, the sound of hooves running through the hall filled the air. A bell started ringing from somewhere. All of us quickly looked to the door, alerted. Zangth burst through, out of breath. His glasses were crooked and he looked like he had been in a state of panic.

"I need all patients to lock their doors! Any visitors, stay in the room, as well!" He yelled.

"What happened?" Redd asked.

The zebra gestured to a a couple of nurses galloping by. "A unicorn foal has been taken from the nursery. The hospital is on lock down and security is searching, but I am doubting the fiends are still here."

"A foal? L-like a newborn foal?" Violet gasped.

He nodded. "Indeed. It is top priority because the colt is premature."

"Who would do such a thing?" Redd stood.

I swallowed, timidly. I wasn't exactly sure, but I had a hunch. This didn't seem like something a raider would do. Slaver, maybe, but if they couldn't find them, they had to be slick. Organized, even.

The lights suddenly flickered out, leaving the four of us in the dim glow of the yellow emergency lights. I quickly jumped out of my bed and galloped into the hall. I was sore. Extremely sore, but I couldn't sit there. The others followed suit. Nurses and staff ran, frantically, back and forth. My head darted from pony to pony to zebra in the midst of the hysteria. A unicorn mare was being consoled by two nurses as she screamed and wept. She must have been the mother. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying not to think of the farmer's market memory.

"They took the incubator, too!" Cherish slid to a stop in front of us. "That is the only incubator that works, here! What do we do?!"

I have to do something. It's an innocent foal!

I inhaled. "We're going to find that colt. Violet, you come with me." She hesitated, but nodded. I looked to Redd and Nico. You help Zangth and Cherish check the more public areas."

Redd saluted. Just like old times. "Yes, Lieutenant."

"What if they have already gotten out? I think they are the ones who have disabled our generators!" Zangth asked.

I snorted. He had a point. "We don't know for sure, right? First, we need to cover the hospital. You four make sure to go to the entrances and keep an eye on them. Get security to check main halls. How many floors is this hospital?"

"Just one." Redd said.

"That's good. It'll be easier."

"One very, big floor." Nico added.

Thanks for the information.

"Still, we have to try. Let's go!"

Zangth lead them down the hall. Violet and I flapped our wings and flew the opposite way. The hospital was extremely well kept. It looked like a brand new establishment. I guessed there was no nonsense when it came to sanitation in medical buildings. Rooms lined the never ending passage. The eerie, yellow glow was unsettling since most of the ponies had retreated into rooms or hid. Violet checked each room on the right, while I checked the left. Each one was empty, save for a few patients cowering or sleeping. I don't know how they slept through our constant hoofsteps clicking around the rooms. After each suite, I became more anxious. We were getting nowhere and were probably wasting precious time! I tore through a closet in one room. Still nothing. I raced to the next. It was just a reoccurring process of nothing.

Closet. Nothing. Curtains. Nada. Under the bed. Not here!

I grunted in frustration as I destroyed the room I was in. I stomped my hoof, trying to figure out a better plan. Anything that would be faster. I heard wing beats behind me.

I wracked my brain, desperate for a solution. "It's no use, Vi. They must be gone by now. We'll never find them like this!"


My blood ran cold at the sound of a gun hammer cocking back.

"V-Violet?" I slowly turned.

I began to shake when I saw my suspicions were right. The cloaked pony in the doorway had a revolver pointed at me. I cautiously raised my hooves above my head.

"Violet!" I called.

"She's knocked out. You may not be able to reach her." Hope snickered.

I stared at her. If Violet is hurt...

"You're running out of time, you know." She purred.

I blinked. "I-I'm close to them, Hope. If you would just-"

"I will not wait longer than I have to! Your preoccupation with other things has become too frequent." I couldn't see her between being under the cloak and the darkness. I could only see her outline from the emergency light. I knew, then, she was a pegasus.

I wanted to keep her talking. I hoped someone would find us. "Why take the foal? Why not just take me? Isn't that what you're doing? Taunting me?"

I could hear that motherly tone. "That doesn't concern you, dear. However, I guess I should tell you that the colt will be safe. I wanted a filly, but he will do. As long as they are in good health, right?"

"But he isn't, Hope! He's premature! He could die!"

"Where I am taking him, he will be cared for and loved. Trust me, we have everything he needs and then some." She said, less warmly.

I choked back a cry. "H-his mother is upset. Why can't you see how badly she's hurting? Please... Don't do this..."

The gun raised to my head. "It will hurt for a while. It hurts to have your foal taken away from you. The pain eventually is replaced by other things." I heard her voice quiver, ever so slightly. "I would know."

Everything stilled. The only sound was my heart thundering in my chest.


"It doesn't matter. You are not a threat to me. My followers have already taken the little darling and escaped. I am here merely to wish you luck with your task. Which, by the way, you'd better get to continuing." She paused. "I am sorry. What happened to you was unfortunate, but it won't change your time limit."

Wait, what? Was that a slight empathetic tone?

My mouth opened, but nothing came out. I stared at her in disbelief. She didn't sound like the heartless, vile pony I thought she was. I eventually found myself staring at the semi-clean floor, despite the fact there was a gun pointed at me. I was more confident she wouldn't kill me, outright. Right away, anyway. Still, I was more dumbfounded by that small gesture than anything.

"I will be on my way." She spoke up, colder than ever. "Remember your task and what is at stake. It is still at stake, so don't let me down. I am still watching you."

I didn't bother to look up as she flapped away. The thick energy in the room left with her. Now, it was just an empty space. The silence was deafening. I could see the reflection of the yellow glow on the tiles below me. My eyes were still locked on the cold floor, with new questions filling my head. They swam around, barreling through my conscious. She had a foal taken from her? I was no threat to her? But the biggest question of all was: Why the compassion, even if it was a small amount?

It felt like ages had passed before I finally snapped out of my daze. I shook the thoughts from my head and flapped my wings, remembering my best friend was knocked out, somewhere. I zoomed out of the room, looking both ways. It was empty. Nopony in sight. I tried to beat down the negative feelings so I could focus. I built a mental wall around the growing guilt to keep it at bay. I had to find Violet.

You could have stopped her, right then.

I stopped in my tracks, almost hitting an open door. Where the hell did that thought come from?

"No, she had a gun on me! It wasn't my fault she got away." I whispered to myself.

Liar. You knew she wasn't going to kill you, anyway. You still stood there and did nothing.

"Y-you're the liar! You're just insane!"

I'm insane? You're the one arguing with yourself.

"I..." I looked around. Nopony was there but me. I shook my head, again, as I realized I was losing touch with reality. "What the hell is wrong with me?" I mumbled.

From the corner of my eye, I spotted Violet lying on the floor in one of the rooms. "Violet!"

I rushed to her, coming to a screeching halt next to her face. I put my ear to her chest. Heartbeat, check. I watched her side rise and fall. Breathing, check. Inspecting the floor around her, I relaxed. No blood, check. I sat on my haunches, biting my hoof tips. I really hoped it wasn't a severe head injury. I knew she wasn't dead, but that didn't mean she was in stable condition.

"V-Violet?" I whimpered, tapping her side.

No response.

"Violet! Get up!" I shook her, that time.

Desperate times calls for desperate measures. "Violet, Gladys is here and she is... naked."

She jumped up and looked around. "Where?!"

I hugged her. "You're okay!"

"Of course, I am! Do you think somepony like her could- Wait... Where is she? Where is that bitch that knocked me out?! We can't let her get away!" She stood, swaying on all fours and grabbing her head.

I folded my ears back and supported her. "Be careful, Vi. You probably have a concussion. Besides, she's already gone."

She gawked at me, confused. "What do you mean? You saw her get away?"

I swallowed. What could I tell her? 'Hey, Violet, I practically let her walk out.'


"I-I couldn't do anything. She had a gun pointed at me. She said... She said she would kill me and all of my friends if I followed her." I lied.

"What?! Oh, that does it! Nopony threatens my girl! She didn't hurt you, did she?" She looked over me.

I sighed. "No, I'm fine. Physically, anyway." I mumbled that last part.

"What was that?"


She gave me a sad smile. "Come on. Let's go find Zangth and let him know."

I nodded, letting her lead the way. Great. Lying to my best friend in the whole world. Let's add that to the list of selfish things I've done, today.




Level Up!
S- 3
P- 3
E- 4
C- 4 (+1)
I- 5
A- 4
L- 3

New Perk!
Animal Lover - There is now a small (10%) chance that radiated creatures won't attack you.

Author's Note:

Thanks to Kkat for this amazing world!

Thank you for reading and as always, constructive criticism/error spotting is always welcome! Stay safe!