Fallout Equestria: Our Will (rewrite)

by AngryPenguin

Chapter 27: Back to Life

"Good men fall to monsters every day."

Rebirth. Can you really be reborn? I don't mean reincarnation. I mean when you are alive and go through a life changing experience and want to completely turn your life around. What would it take, exactly? Hope, my mother, had claimed to be reborn when she entered the wasteland. Was she telling the truth? I thought being reborn meant a one-hundred percent change. She didn't seem like she had turned into a completely different pony. Maybe, about eighty-five percent. That really wasn't enough to explain the line that "change" had to cross to be considered "reborn". I had changed, but I didn't consider myself reborn. Were normal ponies reborn into alicorns? Is that how princessdom works? If I were to try and figure that out, my over-analysis would keep us here all day.

"Gale?" I said, hoping to stimulate her memory.

Her catatonic stare made me uneasy. I helped her to sit up.

"Is there a way to put her memories back?" I asked.

The mare nodded. "There is, but I'm afraid it would require one of those memory helmets."

"Where can I find one?"

"I suppose any major lab would have one." She tapped her chin.

Moondancer's lab. I didn't want to give away too much before I could trust these ponies, so I kept quiet about it for now. I looked up at Redd, who gave a half smile. "We have to take her to Moondancer." I kept the volume at a hushed tone.

He darted his eyes back and forth. "Are you sure? I don't think she would like us using her like that."

"I'm not using her, Redd. I just don't see any other way."

Gale grabbed my hoof. "Please, tell me where I am."

"Y-You're in... uh, New Equestria. We're gonna take you somewhere safe, okay?" I told her.

She was afraid, but she nodded. "O-okay."

"Redd, can you zap the chain off?" I asked. He obliged, melting the links with no trouble. I helped Gale to her hooves. "You six should get away from here and stay out of sight." I told the followers.

"But, what about-"

"Please, just go. I will take care of my mother. If Blight comes back, she may do more than just lock you all in a cage again." I said.

They looked at each other, then at me and agreed it was best to get out of there. When they were gone, I let the pegasus lean on me as we left behind them.

Outside, the night had began to turn to day. The three of us started our walk back to Floater. It would probably take a little more than half a day. Time I didn't want to waste, traveling.

"I don't want to doubt you, but was that a good idea? Just letting them go?" Redd watched them until they were a few yards out.

"What would you have me do? Execute them? Did they seem worthy of an execution to you?" I spat at him.

"You know I didn't mean that."

I gave him the stink eye for a moment, then breathed out my frustration. "I didn't mean to snap at you."

Damn hormones.

"It's okay, but I really wasn't talking about punishing them." He said, flatly.

"You both are... so kind. I-I don't know how I would have survived out here." Gale said. "Who are you?"

I clenched my jaw. "I'm Sienna. He's Redd."

"It's nice to meet you both. You make a lovely couple."

I snuck a peek at Redd, who wore a proud grin. "Why, thank you, ma'am."

I rolled my eyes, grinning as well. I guess I really couldn't protest to that.

"You should think about foals! I wish I had a little one of my own." She sighed.

I shot Redd a look. He winced at her words. "But, you d-"

"Don't have to worry about the responsibility, at least!" I interrupted, giving him a dirty look. I didn't want her to know anything, yet. It was better to wait and give her memories back to her than it was to try and explain her entire life.

She shrugged. "Oh, I wouldn't worry about that. Foals are such a joy to be around."

I sighed. Another, long trip.

Along the way, Gale talked, nonstop. She asked questions about my life. I left out was that she actually knew most everything about me. It was a relief to finally see the beautiful, card-shaped structure. Of course, Gale asked about that, too. I swear my throat was beginning to hurt from talking so much. I was also utterly exhausted. Hiding it from Redd was beginning to be a challenge. I have to admit, though, it was kind of nice to actually talk to my mother. I hadn't seen her since I was young, so I didn't mind the hundreds of questions as much. She genuinely took an interest. That meant a lot, despite the crushing realization that she could possibly just go back to being evil. It was selfish of me to almost wish we didn't have to give her memories back. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the small amount of time we had to bond.

"We're here." I announced as we stood at Fleece's door. Once inside, I noticed Nico, Violet, and Pepper waiting. Rocky fell onto his back in front of Redd. I guess he missed him. Gale took a step back from the ugly/cute creature.

"Sia! What the hell is going on?! Why is Hope with you?!" Violet asked, flying towards us.

I shook my head, vigorously, while Gale wasn't looking. "Violet, this is Gale. You know..." I gestured for her to play along.

Her suspicious glare stayed obvious.

Thank Celestia for Nico. He walked over and held out his hoof to Gale. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Nico."

Thank you, Nicky Boy!

The yellow mare studied his hoof before she slowly took it. "Likewise, young stallion."

"Gale, I'm gonna speak with these three, for a second. Sit tight. Redd will be with you, don't worry." I told her.

She seemed uncomfortable, but didn't reject.

I nodded towards a room for Pepper, Violet, and Nico to follow. We closed the door to make sure nopony was listening.

"Where's Dad? He cannot see her. I don't want to overwhelm her with all of this, and you know how he is." I began.

"He's helping out at The Beacon, still. I told him you and Redd went out to scout around the town limits."

Relieved, I nodded. "Where is Fleece?"

"She's is with Moondancer. They're talking about the plans to extend the clinic into the lab. Why do you have Hope, here?" Nico asked, in true Nico fashion.

I looked at him and sighed. "Blight took her memories. They're in memory orbs."

Pepper rolled her eyes. "Why would Blight just leave her memories with her. Some 'embodiment of evil'. She seems more like a dumb side-kick, if anything."

"A couple of loyal followers got them back and gave them to me. We're going to put them back in Gale's head."

They looked amongst each other. "Sia, is that really a good idea? I mean... Hope isn't exactly a saint." Nico finally said.

"I know. Don't think that it didn't cross my mind. Look, I just don't think it's right to do that to her. If Gale wants to be good, I think she needs to figure all of that out on her own. Even if it means losing that sweet mare in the waiting room." I frowned. "But, maybe she will be able to tell us more about Blight. Surely, the betrayal will make her want to talk."

"How do you plan to give her memories back?" Pepper spoke.

I rubbed my chest. "I'm, once again, going to ask Moondancer for her help. Her lab is advanced enough and has almost everything. If anyone can do it, she can."

"Do you think it will hurt her?" Nico asked.

"I-I'm not sure. I have to try, though. She's my mother. Even if we have our... differences. I don't want her to forget me, outright."

Violet hooked a wing around me. "Whatever happens, we'll be there for you"

I smiled, then grabbed her in a hug. "I don't know what I'd do without you, guys."

We went back into the waiting area, where Hope was fixing up Redd's mane. The poor stallion sat, frustrated, while she brushed the mane to the side, like an upper class stallion would have it fixed. He looked handsome. Of course, I think I was pretty biased. After a laugh and Redd slicking back his mane, again, we made our way into the tunnels and to the lab. There were two ponies repairing some of the turrets. Hopefully, they'd be set to shoot actual enemies this time.

I dipped my head to one of the repair ponies, only to be greeted with a mean glare.

"Jeez, what's eating him?"

Violet chuckled. "Some ponies just don't like pegasi. Can't change their minds, either."

That was pretty sad. I didn't take Floater ponies to be the racist types, but it would be foolish of me to think prejudice was confined to one town.

Inside, the robopony and the ghoul pony were talking next to the computer.

"Moondancer, Fleece." I called.

Both of them turned and gestured for us to join them. We trotted over, as I took the memory orbs from Redd.

"What can I do for you?" Moondancer asked.

My jaw tightened. I felt terrible asking her for so much. "I'm just gonna come out and say it: Gale's memories were taken from her and I have to find a way to put them back. Please, tell me you know how to do that."

She and Fleece stared at me, strangely, as Gale stepped forwards. Her eyes darted back and forth between the two strange-looking ponies while her feathers twitched. I could tell she was a little taken aback. I put a gentle hoof on her side.

"Well, memory magic isn't something I dwell too deeply in, unfortunately." Fleece said, almost embarrassed.

"Put the orbs on the table." Moondancer instructed. I did as she said.

She inspected them, avoiding using her magic. The soft light swirled inside of them, making me uneasy. I had only viewed one memory orb and I definitely did not want to do it, again.

Oh!

I hurriedly took out the cutie mark removal orb and set it with the rest. "I also already had this one before she lost the rest of her memories. It's different from the rest, though. She still remembered what had happened in this orb, even after giving it to me. Is there a difference?"

Moondancer took it in her hoof, but shook her head. "Some orbs can contain copies of memories. It appears this one is different in that manner." She waved over the ones on the table. "These are actual memories that were forcefully removed from the hippocampus." She hoofed the cutie mark orb back to me. "I don't think we will need it."

I put the orb back into my bag. "So, is there anything we can do?"

"No."

I bit my quivering lip.

"Unless we had a recollector." Moondancer finished.

I relaxed. She could have finished her sentence, first.

"Wait, you mean you can just put memories back? Just like that?" Nico asked, skeptical.

The brainbot glared at him. "The process is more complex, but I guess in layman's terms, yes. With a helmet designed specifically for that purpose, you can put memories back, just like that."

Nico snorted. I guess he didn't like a smartass.

Ironic.

Moondancer walked over to Gale gave her a once over. "Subject appears healthy. No obvious trauma. Normal vitals."

"What does that have to do with any of this? Is it dangerous?" I asked.

"Better to be safe than sorry." She said, matter of factly.

She led Gale to the same table I had laid on. She reluctantly did as Moondancer said. With a push of a button, a robot carrying a strange headpiece hovered over. Moondancer really did have everything. She opened a small compartment in the side of the helmet. Tiny tools came out of her hoof, tinkering in the headpiece. "First, I need to calibrate the talisman. One of the many functions of a recollector is to extract memories, as well as allow a viewing. I'm going to reverse the extraction so that it doesn't take weeks at a time to reestablish the memories. I'll have to observe the subject throughout the procedure." She smirked, a little. "I haven't had this much fun in decades. I should be thanking you, Sienna."

I swallowed. "Uh, you're welcome?"

"Gale, please relax while I strap the equipment onto your cranium. Pain will be minimal. Just imagine wearing a scooter helmet."

"A w-what... helmet?" She asked, frightened.

"A scooter." Seeing the confusion on Gale's face made Moondancer sigh. "Nevermind. Just imagine a hat."

Once the straps were clasped shut under Gale's chin, the ghastly helmet lit up in a few places. My mother's nervousness made me feel like I was looking in a mirror. I did look a lot like her. I shrunk a little bit, ashamed that I had to put her through that. "Gale, it'll be alright. This is just to give your memories back. Once it's finished, you'll remember everything, okay?" I felt like I was talking to a filly.

She nodded. "O-okay. I trust you."

Luna, please keep her safe.

"I will now insert the first orb. Watch for any signs of shock." Moondancer instructed. "Dr. Fleece, please keep your magic focused on her heart rate."

Fleece nodded and concentrated on her horn. A thin, glowing stream of magic snaked its way around Gale's foreleg.

Moondancer waited until Fleece was ready, then manually placed the sphere on the recollector. Almost instantly, the orb was sucked into the thing, making it glow more. Gale's eyes went wide as she stiffened. They began to glow white. The robot assured that this was normal, so I kept my concerns to myself.

"How long will this take?" Pepper asked. She seemed to watch everything with great interest.

"I'm not completely certain. It does depend how long the memory orbs are. Since these have a large amount of her memories in each, I would estimate the time to be around two hours to get all of them done. It has just begun, so I suggest leaving and coming back if you don't want to sit here that long." Moondancer said, without looking away from Gale. Her robo-eyes glowed as she scanned the mare.

"Heart rate is normal. Thirty-eight BPM." Fleece said.

I didn't really want to leave her, but I could hardly stand. My legs were getting weak from the fatigue. Wishing them well, I began to head for the door. I yawned, my eyes watering. A nap sounded soooo good. Pregnancy was... weird. The more I focused on it, the more I could feel the difference from before conception. The queasiness was awful.

"You should lie down." I heard Redd canter up next to me. "Maybe you shouldn't have made that journey."

I smiled, sleepily. "It's just part of the uh, foal bearing. I don't want to go too far away, in case they need me."

"If you're sure. Please, don't over do it. I don't want anything to happen to you." The stallion stretched his fake wing and moved it around, loosening the joint. "I... probably should have been more careful, too."

"I agree." I said, sternly. "You are more stubborn than I am."

He laughed, putting his other wing over me and bringing me closer.

"You have no idea how great it feels to finally be affectionate with you." He whispered. Chills ran through my body.

"Hmm. As soon as we take care of those pearls, maybe we could... take care of each other?" I pecked the spot right under his ear. "I do seem to recall how much fun we had, last time."

That big, toothy smile appeared. "You are going to make me carry you into Fleece's tub."

Whoa, buddy! I have got to know what happens, next!

"Oh?" I purred. "And what can we do in there?" We stopped walking through the tunnel. I caressed his chest.

Guess I have a dirty side, after all! And no alcohol is needed!

I miss alcohol.

I felt kisses down my neck. Damn, he got me. "We do have two hours. If you're sure you're not too tired."

"I like the sound of that." I whispered. "Let's go, stud."

Before getting caught up in my fantasy of making love on top on a giant piece of cake, we heard a loud gasp.

Again? Really? Do these ponies know privacy?

"I knew it!" Violet blurted. "You two are BANGING!" Thankfully she was alone.

"Damn it, Violet!" Both of us exclaimed.

"Don't put this on me!" She smiled, evilly. "After all, I know who likes to be on top."

I had traded my white hide for red. The stallion who held me rolled his eyes. "Don't you have to go preach about sexism to some poor buck?"

She ignored his witty insult. "When did this happen? Are you guys together or just friends with benefits?" She gasped. "Did this start when you were in Pepper's body?! How did that work?"

"Violet!" Redd interrupted. "We..."

"Yes, we are together. We decided yesterday." I told her.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Redd smile. The foal was going to have to be kept secret, for now, but I didn't see anything wrong with telling that part.

"Hmph. That's boring. I was hoping there would be some kind of drama." Violet crossed her hooves,

"Sorry to disappoint." He said, resting his head against mine.

"Blegh." She mock-gagged.

The echo of running hooves caught my attention. We threw our heads towards the sound. Pepper slid to a stop, panting. "Sia, you need to come back! It's Gale!"

"Oh, no..."

I galloped after her, leading Violet and Redd. I burst through the door and skidded to a stop in front of Moondancer's machine. My mother's eyes were still glowing, but she had stopped breathing. I watched her chest for any movement, but after a few minutes of no rising I felt tears come to my eyes.

Fleece had fixed an oxygen mask onto her face. "Heart rate is sixty-nine BPM and rising!"

Moondacer quickly touched the button on her temple. Two small robots rolled over, one holding a syringe. The robot jabbed the needle into Gale's arm, but it didn't seem to do any good.

"What happened?!" I asked.

"She was viewing the first orb, then the others gravitated towards the helmet. It was too much for her." She said.

My eyes widened. "Gale..." I propped my hooves next to her. "Mom! I'm sorry! Please, wake up!"

Nothing.

"Mom!"

"Eighty-three BPM!"

Pepper tried to pull me away, but I resisted. "No!"

The second I yelled, the necklace around my neck glowed, brightly. Everyone stared at the jewel as it floated towards my mother's heart. I gasped, feeling a strange pressure in my forehead. I suddenly tensed, unable to move. White slowly crept around my vision. I inhaled sharply as the
the pressure grew.

"Sienna!" Violet yelled.

Redd grabbed me, but he was knocked back by an invisible force. Everything faded away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

White.

No, green. Everything was pale. I was back in the weird void of the jewel. I reached a hoof to feel for my forehead. It was different this time. I could actually feel my hoof. The usual transparency wasn't anywhere on my body. I could also feel an invisible floor beneath me. I looked around. "Hello?"

No answer.

"Rarity?"

She wasn't there.

I took a step forward and everything changed. Instead of a white void, hundreds of screens appeared out of thin air, floating all around me. I saw ponies on all of them, all different scenes. Most of the ponies were pegasi, flying around. I instantly began to miss that place. It wasn't the tall towers of the Enclave, it was the clouds around my childhood home. Sorrow hit my heart as I recognized the cream-white coat of my grandfather. Only, he was much younger. He hammered away at the fence around their house. I remembered flying face first into that fence as a filly. The board was bent inward from that, but here it was brand new.

"Grandpa?" I whispered as I walked closer.

From the side, I saw the sky-blue mare. The screen moved towards her. "Grandma..." I said. If I could cry, I would have. She carried a tray of apple juice on her back, giving it to the hard working stallion. Her mahogany mane was pinned in an up do, like it always was. I ran towards the screen. "Grandma! Grandpa! I-I'm here!" As I got closer, it began to move away. Stopping, I began to sob. I didn't know if there were any tears, but It was close enough. I whirled around, unable to watch any longer.

Another screen caught my attention. My eyes narrowed. "D-Dad?" There, skinny as a rail, was my adolescent father. He was... odd-looking. The Dad I knew was a large, scary pegasus. Here, he was just a scrawny, awkward, geeky pony. A grin crept on my face as he stared my way. He was saying something, but I couldn't hear anything. When he leaned towards me and puckered his lips, I quickly backed away.

Yet, another screen floated around me. I kept my attention on it. I was staring at the ceiling, the corners getting fuzzy. The screen flew up, bringing a doctor and a nurse into view. They were at the end of the bed. The "eyes" turned to my Dad, now slightly more buff. He was crying and smiling. The nurse gently hoofed over a tiny thing wrapped in a pink blanket. I could tell he was blubbering. The stallion lifted the blanket to show a tiny foal. Her white coat was tinted pink as she cried. Her orange mane was wet. I looked at her huge, green eyes.

"Wait... that's me." I said to myself.

My eyes wouldn't leave the screen as the filly finally calmed down. Yellow hooves came into view as they held the baby. The filly yawned and fell asleep with her small hoof in her mouth. It had dawned on me, then. This was a memory. The yellow hooves and my dad standing there gave it away, too. This wasn't just any memory. It was my mother's.

I tore my attention from the screen and stared at the floor. I was watching my mother's life. I was witnessing everything unfold right there in that void. I took a deep breath and let it go. Impossible. How was I doing that? I wasn't looking in any memory orb. At least, I thought I wasn't. "No." I said to myself. "This cannot be happening. I don't even... I can't..."

Finally, my peripheral vision picked up another memory. There were so many, but the orange and yellow mane of a foal caught my eye. She was barely old enough to walk. Faux tears fell from my eyes as she cried. Grandma held onto her, trying to calm her, but tears were falling from her eyes, too. This time, I could hear the memory in my head.

"Mama! Mama! Papa!" The filly cried.

The screen blurred, then a hoof wiped away the water. "M-Mama has to go. I'm so sorry, Marshmallow. I love you very, very much."

Mom turned to Dad, who was being held by the Enclave guards. "Please, don't hurt him!"

"Mama!" The shrill cries carried all the way to my heart. It broke as I put a hoof to my belly.

The foal's tears fell onto her grandmother's shirt. Mom began walking towards the guards, still blinking through tears. I could hear the hiccups and sobs coming from filly Sienna. I couldn't bear to hear her pleas, anymore, so I looked around at the dozens of other memories. Some were school memories, some were dates with Dad, some were of ponies I didn't recognize. I even saw a memory of Redd's mother. Mom and Dad were at the track, watching her win yet another race. Lightning Flare's red mane left a fire-like trail of color behind her as she flew.

"What is going on?" I said, walking through the labyrinth of evocations.

When I walked past one of the memories, I noticed a yellow pegasus sitting out of the way. She wasn't on any screen, she was in the void with me. I gulped, before I slowly crept towards her. "Gale?" Her back was to me and her head, down. She didn't look up. "What's going on?" She still didn't even move.

"Gale." I said, softly.

I thought something was wrong, until she finally exhaled. "I just... I wanted to help them." Her gaze slowly lifted towards a screen in front of her.

I watched intently while the pony, who's eyes I followed, hovered around the city limits. A large, gaping hole had torn into the clouds.

Casually, she picked up her radio and went to inspect it. "Home Front, this is Gale Winds. Do you copy?"

The static of the radio chirped. "Gale Winds, I read you. Report?"

"I'm on the eastern-most side of Thunderhead. Just north of the East Tower. I think I've found... a-a..." The words died on her tongue once she held up her binoculars. Through the hole, there were wasteland ponies. A family of earth ponies stood in the sun's rays that beamed through the hole. Two small children smiled up at the sky. They were so skinny. One of them was missing his back leg. My heart shattered at the pitiful scene.

"Gale?" The radio piped up. "What is your report?"

Her eyes stayed on the sight for a few seconds longer, before she put the binoculars down and breathed out. The radio came into view. "False alarm." She turned away, letting the family bask in the sun for a little while longer.

"That was the moment I figured out what we had been doing." The void Gale said, next to me. "Those children were starving and had to live their life in the shadows of those damned clouds. Why should the pegasi get to enjoy the very best of life while others suffer? The Enclave doesn't deserve the luxury they've taken. Especially, when they would turn on their own." She looked back at her Dashite mark.

I stayed silent. There wasn't really much I could say. She was... right. Mostly, anyway.

"They betrayed you, too, Sienna." She locked her green eyes on mine. "Where were they when you were left for dead in the mud? When their own captain was slain? They didn't bother to come back for you. The only thing they managed to do was send a single soldier down to look for you. Truth be told, he probably volunteered. Even then, they gave him twenty-four hours. Twenty-four. After that, you were to not return at all." Her eyes flickered with anger.

I finally spoke. "The Enclave are only ponies, they make mistakes. What they do is not moral by any means, but destroying them is not the answer. What about Grandma and Grandpa? What if they were to get killed in the process?"

She nickered. "It would be the only way to return the sun to all. They are cowards! If Equestria could see the sunlight, it could start the healing process." Then she looked down. "Your grandparents would have to flee."

"Healing, until Blight sends it into a worse nightmare than this one?" I said, firmly. "You do realize that now she has the pearls, right? You are aware that we are totally fucked if we can't do something before she does?"

"Maybe, that's for the best!" The void around us turned scarlet. "What good is the damned world, now?! Survival is a must! These ponies are living in fear that they may not get their next meal. Where is the justice? It's a stranger to them!" She growled. "What a path of life we must travel. Especially if we could all die there, anyway!" She stood on all fours, raising her head. "I tried and I failed to bring them to the light! What makes you so sure that you won't fail, too?"

"Because, I have help." I said, softly. "If we have to die trying, we will. We can all agree that the world would not be a better place if Blight took over. It would not flourish, and our future generations would not survive." I felt my chest. "I want to start a family, too. I want to try and live a normal life. My friends want a normal life."

She didn't reply. Instead, a shadow fell over her face. The void returned to its original hue.

"Please, don't do this." I gestured around us. "Look at all of this. You are not a bad pony. If anything, you're willing to blow up a militia just to guide the land back to the way things used to be." I sighed. "The only problem with that is things can never be the way they used to be. It's not as simple as just taking something away from one population and giving it to another. Now, it's more complicated. We have to be better ponies if we want to work towards a better future." I sat next to her.

"You sound so sure of everything. But you haven't been in the wasteland as long as I have. There are ponies who aren't even raiders who wouldn't change their terrible ways. That is why I started the coven. I aimed for civilization to rebuild into something better. The pearls would speed up that process, getting our sun back." Her composure began to crumble.

I shook my head. "You can still strive for a better way of life for others. Blowing Thunderhead to the moon isn't going to fix anything. It'll make things worse." I held out my hoof. "Work with us. Work with me. We can be a family, again."

She stared at my hoof. "Th-there is no hope for me, anymore. I... I wouldn't be accepted. I still stand by my beliefs."

"Dad misses you." I told her, hoping to change her mind,

The faintest smile crept onto her lips. "Your father is a wonderful stallion. I had to leave him because he would have never agreed with me. You're like him in that sense. I-I'm glad."

I wrapped my hooves around her, much to her surprise. "I forgive you. I love you, Mom."

I felt her tremble. "I..."

"Come home, with me." I said.

Please, don't push me away.

It took a few moments, but she slowly returned the hug. Her body shook with sobs, as did mine. "I-I missed you, so much." She said.

"I know, Mom."

The void slowly began to return to white. I could feel the floor disappearing under us as we kept the embrace. The last thing I felt was the huge smile on my face. I found my parents. Both of them.

The healing could finally begin.

---

Level Up!

S- 4 (+1)
P- 6
E- 7
C- 4
I- 5
A- 4
L- 5

New Perk
Pack Up - Your carry limit is now 15+ more.

Author's Note:

Thanks to Kkat for this amazing world!

Thank you all for reading! As always, constructive criticism/error spotting is always welcome.

Stay safe!

-AP