• Published 28th Nov 2019
  • 1,349 Views, 52 Comments

Better Than Best Friends - ROBCakeran53

Twiggles Makes friends. Princess Poopybottom says they're dumb. She's dumb. Twiggles shall prove her wrong.

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Chapter 1: Puddle Worms: The Gathering


A strange town…

Full of stranger ponies…

Even more fuller of strangerest things.

Yes, this was the town I came to do stuff and things. At first, friends were the dumbs. Who needs them? I have my hella wack skateboard, I can travel the world.

Yet, strange as it sounds… I’ve made friends. Princess Poopybottom told me I had to make friends. So I tried, but then I got hungry so ate all the macaroni art, and now Elmer’s is my favorite snack for a while maybe.

However, here I am, before Her Highness, with new friends that I’m pretty sure aren’t edible. Maybe. Probably for emergency midnight snack times.

“Well Twilight, how has your friend-finding journey been going?”

I beam. Really, it went well, but words are not needed. I scoot to right. Then scoot to the left. Do the cha cha cha, then do it again.

Princess Celestia looks on, brow raised, but once the important Friendship Dance ™ is completed, I show her my new bestest friends.

Her smile, once big and bright, slowly shifts downward into a frown, eyes low and ears nearly flat.

“Oh nooooooooooo, Twilight,” she draws out the N word, which isn’t the Z word so I shall forgive her this time, “you can’t be friends with the puddle worms.”

What? Why? My heart, it begins to shatter into a million little Twiggles, all gnashing their hungry jaws against my rib cage so they could escape and devour the evil Princess Poopybottom.

I look to my new friends: Julian, YuGi, Domo, Arigato, and Mister Roboto. They are hurt, hurt by her words. But I have to be strong, for them. They are important to me.

It seems she is not finished, however. “Also one of those may be a Ramen Noodle… Luna must have dropped it.”

How dare she make fun of Mr. Roboto’s skin condition! He was working on his complexion.

“I’m sorry, Twilight, but you need to put them back wherever you found them.”

She dare tell me, Twiggles the Almighty and Twerkiful, to banish my friends back to those cursed apple fields? Neigh, I say! She shall not tell me what to do, or how to do it. Just because she is Princess Poopybottom 2 (since she is now even worser than before) doesn’t mean she can control my life, or my friends.


I sure told her. Am I good or what?

Celestia places a hoof to her forehead, shaking her head back and forth. “Oh, Twilight, what ever am I going to do with you?”

This is my chance: My break, I can take them, all of them, away from here. She is distracted by a false hope filled with morning walks and tea flavored tea, which tastes bad but twice as much.

I gather my friends, and we flee! Flee, I tell you! Or me, in this case. I tell me, we flee!


Princess Celestia watches as her pupil scurries away like a slug in hot tar.

“She forgot her skateboard again.”

The Royal Guard beside her nods his head, then walks over to pick up the filly and place her on his back.

Twilight’s magic glows, and her… friends… follow along as the guard carries Twilight out of the throne room.

As the doors close, she can see and hear Twilight smacking his armor, go faster my steed! The doors latch, and Celestia is left pondering… wondering…

“Was it because I dropped her that one time?” Celestia looked down to her other guard. “I’m not a bad teacher, am I?”