Comedic Burst of Funniness

by Lunatic God

Entropy Zero 2: Still Alive

Author's Note:

I like Entropy Zero 2. So I did a crossover.

3650 ran. He was alone, out of ammo, lost his pulse pistol, and was stuck in a rebel infested compound with no connection to Wilson. He charged through a door, knocking down the pair of rebels on the other side. He stumbled slightly, but managed not to fall as he placed his hand on a column next to a corner, using that column to swing him around the bend without slowing down.

He charged through another door, barely noticing the tripmine laser and leaping over it. He saw a squad of rebels turn the corner ahead of him, so he hung a sharp right, flying up a set of stairs into a cross intersection, slamming his fist into a rebel and sending him into a crate, breaking said crate, as the rebel’s buddy beside him stumbled back in surprise, dropping his weapon. He quickly went for his sidearm, failing multiple times to draw it. Once he finally did a second later, 3650 wrenched it from his hand and popped a cap in the handgun’s original holder.

He heard clunking to his left. He quickly turned and raised the gun, peppering the few approaching rebels and scaring them into cover. Once his gun started clicking, he raised it above his head.

“Yeet!” He shouted, throwing it at a rebel who dared peek, bopping him in the forehead as 3650 turned right and dashed down the hall. Every door in this long hall was boarded up or otherwise obstructed, so his only option was to go through the door at the end.

Right before he blasted through the door, it flew open and multiple rebels poured out.

“Oh shit!” He shouted, skidding to a quick stop before turning and running back the way he came, dipping and dodging through a hail of bullets.

Then the bullets stopped.

He had no time to wonder why, but he would find out regardless only a few steps later.

“Woah!” he slid to a complete stop as the one and only Gordon Freeman turned the corner, his HEV suit black and battered, and his crowbar bloodied.

“Gordon Freeman,” 3650 said aloud, standing straight and rolling his shoulders. “I’ve been waiting for a face-off.” He cracked his knuckles.

They stood still for a while, each awaiting the other’s advance. Suddenly, Gordon was upon him, and 3650 had little time to react, barely ducking his crowbar before launching a right hook, which grazed Freeman as he stepped back, foot already in the air, kicking 3650 back a good few feet onto his back.

3650 growled, hopping back onto his feet.

“I’m gonna burn your mongrel hide!” He roared, charging the theoretical physicist, who had a good few seconds to react, sidestepping it. 3650 wanted this, quickly turning and backhanding Freeman’s face as his other hand dipped down to Freeman’s waist and grabbed his .357.

“I fucked up your face,” 3650 said after noticing the trail of blood down Freeman’s cheek, raising his newly acquired magnum with a twirl and firing it at his enemy, who ducked to the side, initiating his own charge, which was infinitely more terrifying. 3650 fired round after round at the approaching scientist, who expertly zipped around the bullets and jumped at the elite, knocking the gun from his hand and bringing them both to the ground.

3650 was disoriented for a very short period of time. This period of time was plenty long enough for Freeman to whip out his spas and shove it in 3650’s face.

“YOU FU–” Was all 3650 could get out before the world went black.

---

Twilight Sparkle sat at the friendship map, reading the journal of a unicorn researcher from before the ponies even united.

“A box of smooth cylindrical objects with big red buttons?” She read aloud, tilting her head in confusion, then looking up at the table, which had multiple groups of artifacts that were also cylindrical, all having been uncovered very recently.

“These ‘frag’ things aren’t smooth, so it can’t be them,” she said, gently sweeping them to the left with a wing.

“These ‘flash’ ones don’t have a big red button, so they’re out,” she continued, sweeping them to the right. She looked upon all that was left.

One smooth, cylindrical object, with a big red button on top. It also had a strange circular label on the side, which wasn’t mentioned in the notes.

She levitated it up to her face, studying it as it slowly rotated in the air.

It trembled.

She blinked. Not even more curious.

It shook. She tilted her head again in curiosity, before it began to continuously shake in increasing violence, quickly making her toss it aside with a yelp.

“Sensitive to magic, she mumbled, watching it bounce around with loud clinks, before eventually calming down and rolling to a stop. She watched it, waiting to see if anything else happened.

After a few seconds, she was satisfied, and went to stand from her chair, before it suddenly began emitting a giant mass of loudly crackling energy. She flinched, before starting to feel a pulling force towards it.

She heard the other artifacts move, and turned to watch them bounce towards the mass and disappear with loud crackles, scaring her into hopping behind her chair.

Seconds after it began, it stopped, this time with the guilty object–and her priceless artifacts– nowhere to be seen.

Crackle

She ducked down slightly, barely peeking over her armrest.

Crackle crackle

Then, without warning, there was a burst of the strange green electricity, pulling in a random thing from Celestia knows where and dropping it onto her floor.

“–CKING SCIENCE TEAM SONOFABITCH!” The tall and white object yelled with a heavily distorted voice, bringing up its… hands to protect the big red dot on what she assumed was its head.

They were still as statues, Twilight’s eyes locked on the creature as it awaited… something.

It took a full minute before he broke the silence.

“Huh?” he questioned in an exasperated voice, lowering his hands.

“THE FUCK?!” He screamed, shooting up to a seated position.

“Language,” she instinctively called, poking her whole head up. She only realized her mistake as the big scary red dot snapped to her, making her yelp and drop back down to peeking over her chair.

“Bruh.” It fell back limply, thudding on the crystal floor.

“...Oops.”