Comedic Burst of Funniness

by Lunatic God

The Infiltration Pt.1

It was raining. Hard. Two invisible CS Ghosts stood at the end of an alleyway, regretting their position choice for the day. They also regretted taking an outdoors job, since that required full attention at all times, due to the rain that poured on them revealing them to the world, ever so slightly.

They were both silent, standing as still as a statue, even if they most likely wouldn't be seen by the entering or exiting ponies of the back door on the building to their left.

They heard hoofsteps. A brown unicorn appeared at the entrance to the alleyway, carrying an open basket of oranges in his blue-colored magic. Halfway down his trek through the alley, a can clattered on the ground from behind him, startling him. The unicorn looked back, relaxing after realizing that it was just a can. He turned back, intent on continuing, but barely a few steps farther, a hooded figure blocked his path.

“Very sorry, you, uh… Came outta nowhere!” The unicorn apologized, smiling nervously at the figure.

“Is he friend, or is he foe, the pony wonders…" The hooded figure asked in a low, gravelly voice. The pony merely held a face of confusion.

“I can assure you, I am no friend…” a white beard extruding from a red chin was revealed from the dark confines of the hood, confirming the ghost’s suspicions as the hooded figure raised a closed fist.

“I am Lord Tirek.” He stated. Shortly after, he began sucking the magic from the unicorn’s horn. The pony’s eyes widened in horror, unable to do anything as his magic was drained from him.

As the last bits of the unicorn’s magic was sucked dry, his cutie mark faded from existence, leaving him to drop his oranges, spilling them as he fell, too weak to move.

The stallion shrunk in horror as he witnessed Lord Tirek become enveloped in a sickly yellow glow, causing him to grow. His eyes glowed an equal color as he cackled evilly, ecstatic that he had even managed to grow the tiniest bit.

Tirek’s cackling ceased, interrupted by the growing incomprehensible whispers around him.

“Is he friend…” One of the ghosts slowly asked, his deep and mechanical voice echoing around Tirek, preventing him from discovering the location of the speaker as he fruitlessly scanned his surroundings.

“Or is he foe…” The other asked, slowly speaking in a way that noticeably separated the two while having the same voice.

“The Lord wonders…” They both spoke in unison, watching as Tirek finally noticed the barely noticeable water dripping off the ghost’s shoulders and helmets. They uncloaked, watching the recognition slowly appear in the frozen Lords eyes as their PSI blades became visible, the hum barely noticeable over the rain.

“Y-You think you can scare the likes of me? Ha!” Lord Tirek scoffed, grinning at the entirely still ghosts. “I may as well steal your magic, too!" Tirek exclaimed, pointing at them.

“Try you may…” The first started.

“Try you might…” The other continued.

“You will not escape tonight.” They finished, pointing their left blades at him in perfect unison, only one foot from his face.

Tirek stared at the pointing Ghosts for a moment.

“Hah!" Tirek suddenly exclaimed, a ball of magic forming between his hidden horns. “Try and catch me!" He teased, teleporting away in a flash of yellow magic.

“Hostile utilizes Usurpation teleportation technology.” The first Ghost stated.

“Likely moving to most inconspicuous location previously attended.” The second said. They both contemplated this, lowering their arms as they thought of each location they knew he would be.

"Probable location calculated. Moving to intercept.” They both said in unison, fading away as they bounded off into the night, bouncing high into the sky and in between the tall skyscrapers of Manehatten like invisible spider mares.

---

“Golf Two Five, Golf Two Six, this is Niner Four, send traffic.” Noir Lime asked, speaking over a separate frequency reserved for the Civil Security Ghosts they had on their side, which were few to begin with.

“Copy Niner Four, this is Golf Two Five. Fugitive Designated Lord Tirek escaped utilizing Usurpation teleportation technology. Unit Two Five and Unit Two Six moving to intercept.” One of the Ghosts replied.

“Copy. Do not engage upon detection. Relay location and keep fugitive Tirek trapped until Equestrian police forces arrive. Arsenal drop at rendezvous Charlie Papa Sierra.” Noir ordered.

“Copy, Niner Four, Golf Two Five out.” One said.

“Copy, Niner Four, Golf Two Six out.” The other said.

After receiving their confirmation, Noir switched back over to the channel he shared with his fellow teammates and Princess Celestia.

“Scouts report increased Usurpation activity near Overwatch Landing, Proxy Point, and Lime Lane. Sending Android SLC-56, SLC-57, and SLC-58 to investigate respective areas, lethal force authorized if necessary.” Marine said. He received three pairs of beeps from the respective androids in return, stating that they were on their way to their objectives.

“CSL One and Two, we fear the Usurpation forces may get a bit brave and go after the princesses. You two are assigned personal guard detail to each respectively. I will protect Mi Amora Cadenza, Niner One will guard Twilight Sparkle. Do anything, anything, to keep our leaders safe in these dark times. Rendezvous in the courtyard for further debrief.” Noir informed. The two Civil Security Lites that had defected from the Civil Security voiced their confirmation, as well as Proxy before they left.

“Boss, I think they're trying to separate us. I think we need increased patrols and border checkpoints.” Noir informed Marine.

“Calm down, soldier. We don't need to start a war here.”

“If we don't, they will! With civilian casualties too!" Noir rebutted. “I think we should do the Separatist strategy.”

“Copy, Noir. I will take this up with King Thorax.”

“While you do that, I'll head in for debrief. Niner Four out. ” Noir stated.

Noir stood in the middle of the barracks courtyard, with the two Lites standing at attention five feet in front of him.

As he opened his mouth to speak, he was interrupted by the sound of the approaching flaps of a pegasus, who sounded like they would drop out of the sky at any moment.

Without wasting any time, the guard landed beside him, opened his mouth to speak, then hoofed Noir a letter as he fell over in exhaustion. As his eyes scanned the letter written in blood, he was getting more and more surprised by the second.

“CSL, escort the stallion to the infirmary before returning for debrief,” Noir ordered them. They nodded and saluted before they both marched over to the Pegasus. One of them slung the Pegasus carefully over their shoulder before they both dashed off into the barracks.

Noir turned to the gate he stood in front of. His eyes widened at what he saw on the other side.