Comedic Burst of Funniness

by Lunatic God

Sunrise the Foalsitter

Author's Note:

Apologies for the long wait! I keep using my few and far between bursts of inspiration for everything else, but I hope this is acceptable

“Ho, ho ho!” The magical construct cheerfully said, bouncing from foot to foot. “My name is Sunrise, and I'd love, love, LOVE to be your foalsitter!” He chirped, jumping into a pose, standing on one jingly foot with his limbs splayed out to show himself off.

Flurry’s ears splayed back at the first sight of him, staring wide-eyed at the lanky caretaker’s eternally smiling face.

“I don't wike him," she whispered to her black armored and lime visored guardian holding her in his arms.

“Do not worry," Noir assured her. “He is a trusted friend of the crown." Flurry merely stared at the construct.

“Do a fwip!” She suddenly commanded after a few moments, jabbing a hoof at him.

“Wheee!” He did as she instructed, jumping into a ball shape and flipping simultaneously, before crashing loudly onto his belly with an oof, making Flurry burst into a giggle fit as he clambered back to his feet.

“Hey, hey, hey, ya wanna do something fun?” Sunrise asked, leaning forward. Flurry nodded excitedly with a huge grin, before suddenly squealing in excitement as Sunrise plucked her from Noir’s arms and held her above his head, pretending that she was flying as he made whooshing noises and she laughed and giggled and snorted.

Noir merely leaned back on the wall with his arms crossed, hiding a rare smile under his visor, still as a statue while he watched them fly, watched them build stuff with blocks, watched him teacher her the Equestrian alphabet with fun little six sided blocks with letters on each side, and even watched them draw together, chuckling as Sunrise showed him a drawing that he made of Noir, which looked like it was drawn by a foal, making him think he could’ve even been possessed by a foal to be even close to how excited he was to show Noir, and eventually, there was no light coming from the window, and Flurry now laid on the left side her giant queen-sized bed in her room, lit with nothing but a soft light emanating from Sunrise’s chest, slowly falling asleep as Sunrise softly read a bedtime story from a picture book to her sitting in a chair much too small for him.

“...And they lived happily ever after,” Sunrise finished, gently closing the book and placing it on the dresser on his other side.

“You’re really good with her,” Noir commented, watching Sun rise from his seat and stretch his non-existent limbs.

“Perhaps, but it seems you tend to bring her more joy,” he answered, softly treading over to avoid ringing his jingly feet before opening the door.

“I doubt it,” Noir told him, following Sunrise out the door before shutting it behind him, staying close behind as Sun began to skip down the hall. “I wasn’t made for babysitting.”

“Be that as it may, she seems to think of thou as a parental figure,” Sunrise stated, leading Noir through the halls of the Crystal Empire’s Castle while lighting a small area around him.

“Why should she? She already has a mother and father in her life,” Noir countered.

“Whom are constantly busy with running and protecting their empire,” Sunrise reminded him.

Noir followed silently for a moment. “Well, I still don’t see-”

“SUNRISE!” an extremely loud female voice suddenly shouted, before a dark blue blur crashed into Sunrise, tackling the construct and landing far behind his original position.

Noir immediately turned and dropped into a combat stance, his hand already resting on the futuristic pistol strapped to his hip before he recognized the pony atop Sunrise, and relaxed, noticing a smiling Celestia approaching beside him in his peripheral vision. .

“It is so good to see thee, Sunrise!” Luna exclaimed, hugging his chest tightly with a huge grin as her tail actually wagged.

“It’s so good to see you too, Lulu!” Sunrise exclaimed, wrapping her in an equally tight hug before manipulating his lanky legs in seemingly unnatural ways in order to stand without using his arms, lifting Luna before shifting his arms to hold her like a cat, one hand supporting her bottom as the other was hooked behind her, holding her close as he gently scratched behind her ears.

“What art thou doing here?” Luna asked, looking up at his smiling face.

“We were hired to foalsit the foal of Shining Armor and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza!” He stated, making her giggle with his use of the royal we. “What about you? What are you doing here? Because last we checked, thou lived inside the Castle of the Two Sisters,” He recalled, sitting on the tile floor with his legs crossed.

She giggled again. “A lot has changed since we last saw each other,” Luna said. “But I am merely visiting my niece.”

Sunrise gasped. “Cadenza is your niece?!” He exclaimed in surprise.

“Mhmm!" Luna confirmed with a nod.

“If she’s thy niece, then…” He thought for a moment. “Does that mean you and Tia are queens?” He inferred.

She shook her head. “Just princesses,” she corrected him, then smirked as she got an idea. “But I am the one who the ponies praise all the time! I raise both the sun and the moon! Tia is merely a figurehead!” Luna told him. “Everypony even eats my moon pies constantly!”

Sunrise stared at her for a moment, watching her fidget and avoid his gaze. “Lulu, art thou fibbing?” He questioned.

She blushed lightly. “Nuh-uh! It’s totally true! Tell him, sister!”

“Uh, yeah! They’re amazing!” Celestia said with a nervous smile, not wanting to hurt her sister’s feelings. Sunrise still seemed skeptical however, so Luna kept trying.

“Noir! Inform us of how much you love my moon pies!” Luna ordered him.

“They are absolutely abhorrent,” he answered without a second thought, which facilitated a jab in the side and a momentary glare from the elder sister.

“Lulu, what did we tell thou about fibbing?” Sunrise asked. Luna merely sighed in defeat.

“‘Fibbing shall discredit any forthcoming royalty from being trusted,’” She droned, having heard and said it many times.

“Good!” He exclaimed, before beginning to rub and scratch Luna’s belly, making her purr and her tail wag faster.

Afterwards, they continued on to the room the sisters were staying in, telling stories of the last thousand years that Sunrise had missed since Starswirl went missing.