Romance is...

by Cwn Annwn

About Not Doubting

Yona smashed through the door, turning the dorm room beyond into a vortex of splintered wood and yak hair, and bellowing a melody that espoused the many merits of being a happy yak.

“Yona happy! Yona sing happy song!”

She bounced and tumbled around the room, sending books and chairs and pictures falling to the floor. An errant hindleg broke a lamp, and a miscalculated toss of her head left a wall in need of serious replastering, but Yona didn't care in the slightest. Cosmetic redecorating and structural repairs were trivial considerations in the mind of a yak newly in love. Indeed, the first love smash was something of a yak rite of passage, so she was actually doubly pleased with herself.

She was dating Smolder. She was actually dating the dragon who brought a smile to her face in the day, and who she thought about every night. And it had been Smolder who had made the first move! Granted the kiss had been far less enjoyable than the subsequent wrestling, but it still meant that Smolder felt the same way. Yona's joy about that fact was matched only by her relief that she would not have to compose a ballad about her unrequited love, as yak tradition dictated. Even the shortest of those lasted three days, and the composer wasn't even allowed to revisit any of the attributes of the one they were singing about. Repetition was an imperfection, and imperfection was unacceptable, especially in matters of love.

"Yona now dating Smolder!"

Yona laughed as she sang, the wonderful fire in her belly beginning to smother the rest of her senses. Now she could hug Smolder as tightly as possible without questions being asked, or read best yak poetry to her, or participate in bhyaki, the braid-bonding ritual, with her or—

Her vision began to swim, her brain moving too fast for her heart and lungs to keep up with. Sheer euphoria poured into every part of her being, hopes and dreams and plans filling her until it felt like she was going to explode.

Then she burst into tears.

It was a momentary reaction, an opportunity to alleviate all that had been building and building, and Yona's mind had seized it by the horns. She bubbled and leaked like an overfizzed bottle of soda, laughing and spluttering all the while.

And then, as quickly as it had begun, it was over.

Yona looked around the room and grinned, before a further realisation dawned on her.

"Yona must tell Silverstream!" she bellowed, and left the room as violently as she had entered.

In the silence that followed, Sandbar turned wide-eyed to Gallus.

"That was a surprise."

Gallus looked up from the book he had been reading and surveyed the room.

"No it wasn't. And that's why you owe me ten bits, buddy."

Sandbar pulled a face and climbed down from his bed to get his saddlebag. Gallus watched him for a moment before chuckling.

"Cheer up, at least you were right when you tricked me into this revision session. I am grateful—my room could have been next."

Sandbar pulled a bigger face.

Comments

[MemeSurvivor]

Why the HECK does this story have so many dislikes? It's not the greatest story ever written, but there's no way it deserves this many. I guess it's just the pairing, smh. I see that this is your first story on here, so I wanted to give my opinion on how you might improve your writing.

Here's one thing I think you're lacking somewhat. Conflict. It is vital to any good story. Not only does it hold the interest of your reader, it generally does good things for your story. If you want a fluffy, or just not that serious, kind of story, It doesn't need to be a crazy big conflict. It can even be all internal (the main character is their own worst enemy). What are the risks of confessing? They might lose their friendships? Does Yona like Smolder? Does she like dragons, females? Certainly, the chance of one of those being true is slim, so how about both? You could even have a Smolder-specific conflict involving being a dragon. They don't do that mushy stuff, right? Maybe she suppresses her emotions.

As a bit of an afterthought, the scene where everyone just accepts it no problem and they had a bet going was rather cliche. It kind of works in a story with a lot of conflict up until that point as a sort of release from the tension.

As a burgeoning author myself, I can't imagine how I'd react if my first story got such poor reception. Just know that your story is good, and your writing is good!