Dirty Ceilings and Bad Jokes
“Willow calm down. We don’t want to fail because we need to replace the carpet.”
“But, but, what if we missed something?! Where's the list?!” Willow's mane was beginning to look frazzled and she was developing an eye twitch.
“You’re holding it hon.” Shield stated calmly while sitting on the couch.
Chitter, being the source of all this worry, sat right next to Shield on the couch. He was trying to mimic Shield by babbling nonsense (not even in equish) and sitting as the older stallion was. He watched Willow move around the house dusting, straightening, and cleaning anything within her reach.
At one point in Willow's whirlwind like movement, she picked up Chitter and wiped him down. Having a semi-hard outer shell meant he was easily cleaned. She put him back down in the same exact position he was sitting before she moved him. Quickly running a brush over her husband she raced all over the home again, and again, and again.
Shield looked around in amazement. Even though nothing was rearranged, the whole house looked different after this thorough of a cleaning. Things were polished to a reflective shine, others were also nearly polished, like the couch. Shield on more than one occasion had to remove some cleaning agent from his wife's grasp, due to trying to polish something that didn’t need to be.
Knock, knock.
Willow wailed, “We’re going to fail!” She rushed over to Chitter and pulled him to her chest just a little too tightly. “I didn't even have time to clean the ceiling! What kind of a mother can't even find the time for that?!” She wept into the wiggling changeling.
"CHRRRR." He grunted.
“Willow, what are you talking about? Who in their right mind scrubs the ceiling?” The unicorn stallion got up off the couch and trotted to the door. He peeked through the door side window to check who it was. “Hey honey, we have company.”
“I can't lose him!”
Through the door came a muffled, “Shield, open the door already! It's chilly out here!”
Shield opened the door to let Redheart in.
“She needs your help right now. I’ve tried for the past few hours and have gotten nowhere.” He gestures with a hoof, “Your turn.”
“Wow some help you are.”
“I’ve been at it for hours already! Why do you hate me?”
“Ha! Like I’d tell you.” Redheart laughed.
Shield was always weirded out by Red, he could never tell if she was serious or just messing with him. He was pretty sure that she did hate him though, coincidentally he thinks its because he was the one to win Willow’s heart. He knew they were close in med school but Willow just never felt as Redheart did.
Redheart walked into the living room seeing Willow bawling her eyes out into the colts side on the couch. “Aren't you supposed to be getting ready for an inspection or something.” The pure teal eyes looked to the newcomer.
Willow's head shot up and her grip lessened on the struggling changeling. “Red? What are you doing here?” She sniffed, “Did they send you to take him? To lessen the blow?”
“Mare, get ahold of yourself! You haven't even had the inspection yet!” She shook her head. ‘So this is what he was talking about,’ she thought to herself. “I'm here to provide an outside reference to your parental qualifications.”
“Red, they're going to take my colt!”
Achu
“Willow, they aren’t taking him! I’ve been telling you all morning. We have everything and then some. The house is the cleanest I’ve ever seen it, and he is satisfied with being here.”
KNOCK…KNOCK…KNOCK
“This is the royal guard on behalf of Princess Celestia and Princess Twilight. Open up at once.”
“Lieutenant! I think that's a bit much.” The faded voice of Twilight Sparkle filtered through.
“Red get her a towel and a comb stat!”
Redheart rushed to quickly get this mare presentable for the inspection. Making sure to not muss up the house she grabbed a brush and a hoof towel.
“Ba ba?” Chitter offered innocently.
“You had to go for a changeling didn’t you Willow?”
Chiiii!
“Its ok little one, mommy's ok.”
“Willow quickly! The Princesses are here for the inspection!”
Willow went ramrod straight grabbed the brush, swiped it once over her face, and resumed her usually groomed self. No tears, redness, or worry, just a happy go lucky smile.
“Ho-how did you do that?”
Brbrbrbr.
“Exactly!” Willow chimed, once again chipper. She lifted her soon to be colt onto her back. “Are you coming Red?” She turned and left to greet their guests.
“Wait, what just happened?” She slapped the side of her face lightly, “Was I seeing things?”
Willow walked into the entryway and discovered Shield trying to buy just a bit of time. “Princesses! Why don’t you have a seat in the living room instead?”
Everypony in the small hall noticed the look of relief on Shield’s face. “Weren't trying stall were you?”
“I beg your forgiveness, I was just giving Willow a moment to adjust herself. The preparation was wreaking havoc on her.”
“Indeed Princess Celestia and Princess Twilight.” Willow reached under her wing a produced a stack of forms. “As requested all paperwork and legal forms have been properly filled out and signed. Do you wish to start the tour?”
…
The inspection of the home was short but thorough. The Princesses themselves found nothing out of place except for an unwashed ceiling. Princess Celestia was satisfied with the outcome but just one thing was missing.
“Willow Breeze and Shield Polish, the home looks spectacular just one thing though.” Celestia states firmly while flipping through their paperwork. “I see here that you’re missing your F.O.A.L form. The Foal open adoption legalities form, pretty much the most important form to have. Without it I cannot allow you to adopt him. It is however obtained through final adoption proceedings though.” She finished with a smile.
Willow sat there for a minute, her eyes glassed over. Not a muscle moved, she wasn't even sure if her heart still beat. Everything was black and quiet in her mind.
“Willow Breeze?” Twilight asked softly. She looked at Celestia, “Princess?”
Willow exploded in tears, “BAH-HA-HA-HA!” She wrapped herself around the changeling protectively and cried.
Every single soul in the room except for Willow stared at Princess Celestia. Celestia herself looked a little sheepish. “That didn’t go as planned.” She barely muttered.
“You want me to “Princess”, well I’m going to,” Twilight looked to the older Princess, “Fix your mess!” Twilight knew occasionally that Celestia was a jokester but this went way-way too far. “I’m not doing it this time.” She folded her hooves over her chest.
The guards accompanying them let the Princesses solve these matters. Unless they were to take the changeling, or defend the Princesses they were to do nothing.
Shield hugged his wife close to him. “Why-hy-hy? I did ever-ryth-thing!” Chitter started to get upset because she was. “Why can't I be-he a mo-ther?”
“Princess please reconsider! We had no idea that was a form! We'll fill it out as soon as we can get ahold of one, we swear!” Shield pleaded.
Celestia sat there in a form of mental lock up, ‘The joke was fully said, but they didn’t hear it!’
“That’s it! I’m getting Luna.”
Within seconds there was a bright light and a dark blue alicorn stood in the center of the room. Celestia's mind was still slipping gears as she tried to piece together a way to undo this. A plan was quickly formed when the unexpected happened.
Luna reached up and slapped her sister, “ART THOU OUT OF THINE MIND?” Luna began to yell at her sister, “DIDST THOU THINK TWAS A BRILLIANT IDEA TO JEST DURING SUCH SERIOUS MATTERS?” Celestia sat there completely stunned. “VERILY?”
“Okay okay! First stop yelling, it's upsetting to colt. Second, Willow Breeze and Shield Polish I'm immensely displeased with my own actions and wish to make it up for this bad joke.” Everyone was surprised when Celestia looked down at the floor in shame. “For my actions I will personally pay the medical cost for the gem implants. Consider it an apology and congratulatory gift.” Celestia quickly lit her horn and teleported to who knows where.
-Meanwhile at the castle-
Celestia popped into her room after her visit to the hospital in Ponyville. “Really?! I said it but they didn’t catch it?! It was planned out so well!” Celestia slammed her pillow over her head. “Got to give it to Luna though, that was a nice hit.” Her cheek still burned in both shame and more readily, pain.
-Willow/Shield residence-
“We are truly sorry for mine sister's mistimed jest.” Luna smiled at the little bug. “But twas splendid to correct such behavior! Congratulations on thy family! Twilight Sparkle, please finish up here.”
“Will do!”
Luna also disappears to whence she came. Twilight looks to Willow, “For the record, I had no idea she was planning that.” Twilight coughed into her hoof and changed the subject. “Well all that aside I’m pleased to say your inspection passed with flying colors.”
Chitter voiced his glee with a loud, “Chiiii!”
“Well someone is at least not shaken up by earlier.” Twilight lit her horn in a lavender aura and summoned a pot of ink and a quill that almost didn’t exist anymore. “Oh,” Twilight muttered as she looked at her quill, “That report last night must have been a dosey.”
Twilight levitated the stack of form required for the adoption process. “Do you mind if I use your kitchen table for a few minutes?”
“Sure thing Princess.” Shield said happily. Out of the two new parents he succeeded in moving past the bad joke. Willow lie on the couch, still shaking and stroking the colts fin like mane. Chitter cuddled up close to her with his eyes closed enjoying the attention.
Achu
Minutes passed, then fifteen, going on a half hour. Twilight sat back in her chair, “Done! Compared to the normal paperwork I have to do, that was easy.”
“Sooo that’s it? Does he belong to us now?” Willow asked with hopeful eyes.
“In a moment, Princess Celestia sent you this,” Twilight floated a paper towards Willow. “As she said she would, the hospital bill was paid in full with a date already scheduled. She has great health care benefits as a Princess of Equestria.” Twilight jumped off her chair and beckoned the two to follow her.
With guards outside the door Twilight turned around in the doorway. “I want to be the second to congratulate you two. Legally this colt is now yours, please take care of him and remember our weekly visits with Aunt Twilight!” She shook hooves, turned, and left.
Shield closed the door and sat down behind it. Red who almost was ignored the entire time let out a laugh as she walked up to Willow. “Ha! See? I told you it’d go well.”
Willow smiles broadly and squealed, “We did it, we did it we did it!” She playfully tossed Chitter in the air fully intending to catch him.
Problem was he didn’t come back down. Everyone looked up and he was just flapping his little wings. He fluttered in the air looking down at “mom”. No one seemed to notice the slight movement backward as he hovered, no the new parents (Willow mostly) were happy to see he didn’t have detriments so far.
He had drifted a couple hoof lengths away when he stopped beating his wings. Shield leapt to catch him, as did Willow, resulting in lumps for them and another gleeful squeal from Chitter.
“Note to self, keep eye on flight at all times,” Willow said to herself.
“You're a pegasus! How did you forget?” Redheart asks from her spot on the couch.
“As bad as it sounds, that wasn’t quite the first thing on my mind after all this.”
Shield interrupted, “Welcome to the family our little love bug!”
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Well THIS was a hectic chapter.
For shame, Sun Butt! You should know by now that Trollestia must always be on a leash when on walkies!
9731367
In a good way... or does... does it need to be fixed?!
9731429
What was going on was what caused it to be hectic.
Babbling nonsense is the most reliable way to imitate stallions. An important lesson for every changeling.
Someone who wants to adopt an child who is able to walk on the ceiling? Like a changeling?
Wouldn't she have to pay them anyway since she is the one who requestet the implants in the first place?
9731379
Appropriate reaction.
You mean ponish
10293329
No, they're equines and equish is closer to english.
Heh, read the room, Celestia!