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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Whew; finally caught up! Obviously I like it.
I do have some serious criticism though: no drama! This is all about (sexy) things happening to Twilight and her unquestioningly submitting to them, there’s no larger conflict to drive the plot. Sure she “agreed” but that was back in Chapter one and her (and our) memories of it were erased anyway. There’s no real characters to have that conflict with, either. We know Twilight fairly well (pre-mixed characters are the advantage of fanfic), and we know who everypony else is *supposed* to be, but we’ve never met who they really are. Even Twilight: she’s not really the Princess of Arbitrary Fetish Sex, she’s still the Princess of Fucking Friendship. There’s been a time or two when one of these actors has tentatively reached out, but our protagonist has always been too busy scurrying over to her next sex act to ever really connect with them. Who (and what!) are they when they’re not pretending to be Celestia, Velvet, ect? They seem to care about Twilight and wish her well, but why? What is their relationship with the “show people” running things behind the scenes, and how are conflicts between them resolved? And what’s “behind the scenes” anyway: are Canterlot and Ponyville isolated film sets with nothing between them, or is there a whole artificially sexy world over the horizon? Twilight is starting to get comfortable in her new role but it’s starting to get stale at the same time. We should move on from the introductory ‘first act’ and start the real story!
Love the clop, but hope you go lightly on the incest with Shining and her parents; some folks are into it but it’s a turn-off for me. More to the point, everything up till now is something that the ponies back home might have accepted (if not everything all at once!) but that would make her a pariah and criminal. It would make even a success feel like a failure if she ever makes it back there with her personality intact. Maybe make that the issue where Twilight stops just rolling with the punches and starts ‘playing the game’ with a real strategy and intent to win? I really want to see Masters facade of perfect control start to crack a little bit...
Or not. You’ve never made any pretense to Great Literature here; if you want to just keep writing one hot little fetish scene after another I’ll keep reading right along with you!
9780987
Nothing but porn planned, sorry. As for the actors... not actually actors. Have you seen Westworld? Something like that but less cruel. Or maybe a simulation even.
*reads title*
Oh yeah!
We all knew this would come. (Even if I had expected more teasing to teach him to behave.)
That's the spirit, Spike! Carry on!
9781153
Never seen it. Explain? Please?