Over Land and Sea

by Wessexbrony

A Lack of Momentum

Saturday 2nd September

It was a dejected mood that lay around Stamford Bridge as the final whistle went. And for good reason, another poor display had consigned Chelsea to a second successive loss and Mourinho to his first home defeat in the league as Chelsea manager.

Things had started badly and proceeded to get worse. Mikel Arteta had slipped through the Chelsea back four and put Everton ahead after just eight minutes, and it was only Petr Cech who prevented the visitors from increasing their lead before half time.

Chelsea did create chances in the second half, and Tim Howard had to be alert to keep out shots from Drogba and Lampard. But then, in the last ten minutes, came the killer blow.

As Chelsea won a corner, the referee blew for an Everton free kick. Fontana had used his elbow whilst jumping with Everton defender Joseph Yobo, and was shown a red card. Then, with six minutes to go, Andy Johnson scored to put the game to bed.

Sunday 3rd September

The telephone rang as the game between Liverpool and Manchester United got underway.

“Hello.”

“Are you Mr George Spencer?"

“Speaking,” I replied, noting that the voice on the other end had spoken rather quickly.

“Is this where my muffin now lives?” It took me a couple of seconds for ‘my muffin’ to register.

“Yes, it is. And you must be Ms Derpy Hooves? I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure of meeting you,” I said.

“May I speak to her?”

I felt a pang of guilt at this. It was now three months since Foal Protection Services (who held a clear lead in the title race for “most irresponsible government organisation”) had left Dinky with me, and it had never occurred to me that it might have been a good idea to try and exchange contact details other than just addresses through the embassy.

“It's for you, Dinky,” I called. Dinky jumped down from the sofa and walked over.

I sighed as the two of them had an emotional conversation, and thought of the coming school year. As Dinky was too young to qualify as an exchange student (Year 10 or higher), a pony from the embassy had arrived two weeks ago to discuss the options, or rather, option. She'd hoped that Princess Celestia would be able to have a few words with the Football Association and enable her to use the nearby portal to attend her Primary School in Ponyville. Unfortunately, the FA hadn't budged (although from what I'd heard of Belladonna, it wouldn't have surprised me if she'd had a few words with them first), meaning that Dinky would have to continue to attend classes set up at the embassy for the children of embassy staff.
At any rate, I suspected that had Ponyville been an option, Dinky would have likely been escorted to and from the portal by a chaperone who would probably have had all the empathy of a ticket machine facing a hurrying commuter and the emotional capacity of the vidiprinter.

“So what did she want to speak to you about?” I asked as Dinky returned to the sofa.

“She really wanted to talk to me again, and she also wanted me to pass on her thanks for taking care of me.”

I thought back to the poem that had been sent to Dinky shortly after her arrival, and I pulled her into a hug.

“Well, as bad as things might seem right now, and I can’t believe that I’m quoting Liverpool fans here, ‘at the end of the storm, there’s a golden sky’. So who knows? We might not have started the season as expected, but there’s still a long way to go and...oh, what are they doing!”

While the two of us had been talking, Manchester United had gone on the attack and won a corner. Wayne Rooney had met with Ronaldo’s cross and volleyed goalwards, but Liverpool keeper Pepe Reina had parried the shot. John O’Shea, however, had followed up and scored on the rebound, giving United the lead. United went on to win 2-0.

Thursday 7th September

"Champions League tickets arrived today," I said, as Dinky got out of the embassy car.

Chelsea had been drawn in a group with Bayern Munich, Benfica and Celtic, which I believed could be navigated without much difficulty. As I'd told Dinky when the draw had been made two weeks previously, we could have ended up with Real Madrid, Barcelona or Milan.

Saturday 9th September

It was a concerned Rainbow Dash who arrived at the Traveller’s Rest Inn to watch the game. Portsmouth had made a good start to the season and sat 6th in the table, while Chelsea’s two defeats had seen them slip, briefly, into the bottom half. Big Match Live was just beginning as she paid for her cider and sat down next to Derpy at a nearby table.

“Welcome to Fratton Park for our live game this evening.” Big Match said. “The Blues might not have made the best start to their season, but history is on their side tonight. They have not lost to Portsmouth since 1960, and…”

“...and the referee has awarded Portsmouth a penalty!” exclaimed Kick Off.

It might well be grim up north, I thought, but things weren’t much better in the south either. This was Chelsea’s final game before the start of their Champions League campaign, and three points were imperative.

However, once again, things had gone wrong early. In the 12th minute, a good ball from Portsmouth midfielder Pedro Mendes (who had recovered from his encounter with Ben Thatcher) found fellow midfielder Niko Kranjcar, who beat Kovac before firing a shot past Cech.

Chelsea had huffed and puffed in abysmal weather, to the point that the floodlights had been on since the beginning, but had nothing to show for it. As if that wasn’t enough, the constant sound of a handbell from the stand at the other end of the ground seemed to echo throughout my brain. Not everyone in the home crowd was enjoying it either, as a yellow earth pony with a purple mane and a Tudor rose on her flank kept giving its owner very dirty looks.

And now, to top it all off, Portsmouth had a penalty with twenty minutes remaining. Nwankwo Kanu, their striker who had once scored a 15-minute hat trick for Arsenal at Stamford Bridge, placed the ball on the spot and waited for the whistle. Dinky shut her eyes and looked away, whilst in Ponyville, Derpy covered her eyes with her wings.

Neither of them saw Petr Cech dive low to his right to keep the ball out.

Chelsea, invigorated by having gotten out of jail, then went on the attack. A long ball from Boulahrouz found Shaun Wright-Phillips, and the winger unleashed a fierce shot which was tipped over by veteran Portsmouth keeper David James.

Chelsea continued to press for an equaliser, and with five minutes left Arjen Robben was sent away down the left. Robben crossed the ball into the area, where Didier Drogba volleyed the ball into the roof of the net to rescue a point.

Portsmouth 1-1 Chelsea (Kranjcar 12, Kanu m/pen 71; Drogba 85)

Despite rescuing a point, the table still made for grim reading; Chelsea were 9th in the table, whilst Man Utd were still on maximum points and held a five-point lead at the top, and a ten-point lead over Chelsea, at this early stage of the season.

Author's Note:

Well, here’s the “and sea” part of Over Land and Sea. :P Portsmouth’s ground is actually located on Portsea Island, making it the only Football League ground not on the British Mainland.

I wasn’t sure what to do with how Derpy would speak, as the prologue showed her speaking coherently; I eventually decided to give her a habit of talking too quickly and occasionally skipping over certain words. (And Belladonna used it as the perfect excuse…) The phone scene is either going to work or fall flat, but Dinky's guardian would consider such a conversation to be private and wouldn't want to eavesdrop. As for how Derpy got the number in the first place, let's say Dinky wrote it down in a recent letter.

Primary School is the British term for Elementary School. The vidiprinter is used by BBC's Final Score and Sky Sports' Soccer Saturday, and types out the score updates as they come in. As for the ticket machine reference; have they ever been helpful when you've been in a hurry?

The poem mentioned is intended to be the one from “Today, Tomorrow and Forever” by ChoppersTopHat, which this was originally intended as a semi-direct sequel to; I actually encountered the poem elsewhere, however, in a fan comic by long gone from Deviantart but still visible on Derpibooru. (https://derpibooru.org/109625?q=artist%3Aveggie55) “At the end of the storm, there’s a golden sky” is a reference to You’ll Never Walk Alone, the anthem of Liverpool FC.

Unlike the draw for the World Cup, the draw for the UEFA Champions League stage sees the teams drawn out then allocated their groups, to eliminate the possibility of two teams from the same country meeting before the quarter finals.

Big Match is based on football pundit Des Lynam, although he never presented the titular program, which was ITV's answer to Match of the Day in the 1970s and 1980s. He did, however, present The Premiership, which was ITV's highlights program when they had the Premiership highlights between 2001 and 2004.

The song played in this chapter is, fittingly enough, the music that plays at Portsmouth’s ground when the teams take to the pitch. The handbell is a reference to John Anthony Portsmouth Football Club Westwood (his real name, which he successfully obtained via deed poll in 1989), whilst the yellow earth pony is based on Maria Rose, the mascot of South Coast Bronies, who I made a Portsmouth fan due to the fact that she is depicted wearing a sailor’s hat and neckerchief; Portsmouth is a naval city while Southampton is a trading port.

The 15-minute hat trick? It happened in 1999, in the last 15 minutes. When Chelsea had been 2-0 up.

Comments

[Starlight Nova]

Shouldn't there be an OC tag, for the humans?

[Bronycommander]

9432921
I see

[Bronycommander]

Good thought about Derpy, understandable as she misses dinky. But Really, i Think her caretaker would be Welcome by her. Dinky's 8?

[Wessexbrony]

9433268
Good point. Probably for the pundits as well.

[The Blue EM2]

Just to let you know, the video link has stopped working.

[Wessexbrony]

9693607
Thanks for letting me know. Now fixed.