Over Land and Sea

by Wessexbrony

European After Effects

“A two-nil lead is the worst lead” - Czech football commentator Josef Csaplar

Sunday 1st October

Rumours of fatigue in the squad was not news you wanted to hear ahead of any match, but especially not with a home game against Tottenham in seven hours. I wondered how much truth there was to the report on the radio as I took the croissants out of the oven and carried them into the sitting room, where Dinky was watching the Sunday morning repeat of Match of the Day, which had just covered Middlesbrough’s 2-0 win at Charlton.

Still, Tottenham had made a pretty poor start to the season themselves, sitting eleventh in the table after seven matches, and they had faced Slavia Prague in a UEFA Cup match the previous Thursday (which was why the game was being played on a Sunday in the first place). If anything, they’d have more problems with fatigue.

In addition, Tottenham hadn’t beaten Chelsea in the league since 1990, as I explained to Dinky that afternoon as we met Rainbow Dash outside the still-uncommenced Imperial Wharf station and set off for the stadium. Makelele, however, was still missing, so Mikel would slot between Lampard and Essien with Robben and Wright-Phillips either side of Drogba. As the three of us took our seats, and the teams emerged to The Liquidator, there was a sense of optimism throughout Stamford Bridge.

It took just four minutes for that sense to be wiped out. The first real attack fell to Tottenham, and Aaron Lennon played in England team-mate Jermain Defoe, who slipped the ball past Petr Cech to give Tottenham the lead. Then, in the 23rd minute, a defensive error allowed Jermaine Jenas to run at Cech and fire the ball under his outstretched arm to put Tottenham two goals up midway through the first half.

“Well, Chelsea couldn’t have made a worse start to this one,” Kick Off said, as the Tottenham players celebrated. “Even with Fontana suspended and confidence low, they should be playing much better, but they barely look interested.”

“Indeed, Kick Off,” Full Time added, “At the moment, it looks like Tottenham are on the way to their first league win over Chelsea since 1990.”

At this point, it looked as though the match was only headed one way. But something seemed to stir inside the Chelsea players at that point. In the 29th minute, Wright-Phillips broke away down the right to send in a cross, which Drogba volleyed wide.

The home side continued to push forward, and with Tottenham struggling to find themselves on the back foot, Chelsea were able to impose themselves and spring into action. In the 33rd minute, right-back Paulo Ferreira sent a cross into the area. Drogba failed to strike the ball cleanly, but his volley struck the turf and bounced over Paul Robinson and into the Tottenham net.

“England’s first-choice goalkeeper, everyone,” I said, as the replays of the goal were shown on the big screens.

Suddenly, Tottenham were scrambling to contain Chelsea, as the Blues poured forward in numbers. Arjen Robben was the next to try his luck, hitting the ball straight at Robinson who was able to save the shot. Two more attacks broke down as Mikel and Drogba were penalised for fouls on Jenas and Ledley King respectively as the half drew to a close.

In stoppage time, a pass from Lampard found Drogba, who broke free of the Tottenham defence. Drogba’s shot was kept out by the outstretched leg of Robinson, but the ball was deflected into the path of Wright-Phillips, who had no trouble steering the ball into the empty net.

A moment later, Arjen Robben took the ball down the left and cut inside before firing the ball over the bar.

The second half began as the first half had ended. Suddenly, it was Tottenham who looked fatigued, and were in complete disarray. In the 50th minute, Chelsea came forward once more, and Drogba’s shot was blocked. However, the ball deflected into the path of Michael Essien, who sent it into the net at the near post.

“Would you look at that!” Kick Off exclaimed, “Tottenham are crumbling here! At this rate the big question won’t be which way this match goes, but how many Chelsea score!”

The home supporters, as well, seemed to know which way the game was going, breaking out in a chorus (to the tune of “That’s amore”) of “When the Spurs start to cry ‘cause they don’t qualify, blame lasagne…”

Tottenham seemed to collapse completely, and as there were still forty minutes to go, it was clear to many that a rout was the only possible result. Indeed, a pass from Drogba found Robben, who sent the ball high and wide.

Midway through the second half, another Chelsea attack saw Lampard set up Drogba, who sent the ball just wide. A minute later, Mikel was penalised for a foul on Tottenham’s Dimitar Berbatov.

Chelsea continued to press, and with just over fifteen minutes to go, Drogba got into the area and fired a shot wide. Mikel then had a go four minutes later, sending his shot wide, before Robben had one last effort with five minutes to go which also went wide. Incredibly, the scoreline ended up flattering Tottenham; they had been 2-0 ahead midway through the first half, yet could easily have conceded seven or eight.

Chelsea 3-2 Tottenham Hotspur (Drogba 33, Wright-Phillips 45+1, Essien 50; Defoe 4, Jenas 22)

“Well, a massive, and quite embarrassing, capitulation by Tottenham there,” Big Match summarised, “And it doesn’t look good for their European credentials, either. But you can’t ignore how Chelsea came back into this; do you think they’ve turned a corner?”

“It’s difficult to say,” replied Full Time. “Yes, they came back into it, but they shouldn’t have started that poorly in the first place. To me, their big test will be at Old Trafford next Sunday.”

“The amount of chances we had, we should have humiliated them,” Rainbow Dash complained, as the three of us made our way out of the stadium.

“Maybe, but we beat them, and given what the score was after 25 minutes, that’s good enough for me,” I replied.

Of course, Man Utd had gone to Wigan and won 3-0, continuing to stay unbeaten and 5 points clear at the top of the league. And it just so happened that Chelsea’s next match was at Old Trafford.

Premier League Table at the end of September/beginning of October:
1 Man Utd 22pts
2 Bolton 17pts
3 Liverpool 16pts
4 Portsmouth 16pts
5 Chelsea 14pts
6 Reading 14pts
7 Arsenal 13pts
8 Aston Villa 12pts
9 Newcastle 11pts
…
16 Sheffield Utd 6pts
17 Wigan 5pts
18 West Ham 5pts
19 Watford 4pts
20 Charlton 3pts

Author's Note:

At the time this is set in, Tottenham had an abysmal league record against Chelsea, though they would break the jinx at White Hart Lane in October 2006.

Match of the Day is repeated on Sunday mornings for early risers. Also, there’s nothing quite like a croissant/pain au chocolat/pain au raisin on a Sunday morning.

The UEFA Cup is now known as the Europa League.

In the October Euro 2008 qualifiers, England lost 2-0 to Croatia thanks to a massive blunder by Paul Robinson, who, when Gary Neville passed the ball back to him, looked to send the ball long, but failed to connect with the ball when his foot struck a divot, resulting in the ball rolling into the England net to put Croatia 2-0 ahead.

The lasagne chant refers to the final game of the 2005-06 season, in which Tottenham needed a win at West Ham to qualify for the Champions League. However, the day before the match, ten first-team players came down ill after eating lasagne, and Tottenham lost. Arsenal, meanwhile, beat Wigan to take fourth spot ahead of Tottenham and qualified instead. (One headline read “PASTA ONE...SPURS ILL”) It was later revealed to have been a virus, rather than food poisoning as initially believed.

Comments

[Bronycommander]

9440359
Sounds Good, given her size. My headcanon is also that's she's 8

[Bronycommander]

A close victory but still a Good one