Over Land and Sea

by Wessexbrony

A Test of Credentials - Updated 6/2/2019

Sunday 8th October

“Good Morning, Dinky. Ready for the big one?” I asked, as I entered her room carrying a cup of tea.

“The big one?” Dinky asked, rubbing her eyes.

“Manchester United away, at Old Trafford,” I replied, setting the cup down on her bedside table. “Win this, and it’ll send a clear message to everyone that we’re still very capable of fighting for the title.”

“And if we don’t?” Dinky asked.

“Then there are still 29 games to go, and you don’t win or lose the title in October.” I replied. “At any rate, the club charter leaves Euston at 10:30, so that’s why we’re getting up earlier.”

“Doesn’t Old Trafford have its own station? I remember Diamond Tiara mentioning it…”

“Yes, but our train will go to Manchester Piccadilly. Old Trafford’s station isn’t big enough.”

Our train sped north as the two of us discussed the game, with other fans weighing their opinions in. The prevailing opinions seemed to be that it was going to be tough, a good start was essential, and it would be absolutely fantastic to be the first team to beat Utd this season, especially in their own backyard.

“Good Afternoon, and welcome to Big Match Live. And it certainly is a big match today; the heat is on here at Old Trafford, where Man Utd host Chelsea…”

“It’s certainly grim up north today,” I muttered to myself, as the two of us disembarked at Manchester Piccadilly and noticed the rain. Unfortunately, umbrellas were forbidden inside football grounds.

“It’s been a fantastic start to the Premier League season for Manchester United. Top of the table and still unbeaten, but today they face a Chelsea side who seem to be improving after that slow start…”

I set Dinky down after carrying her up the steps up to the away section, before we went to find our seats.

“...and here’s the starting lineup for Chelsea. Robert Kovac and Ashley Cole return to the starting eleven following the game against Tottenham. Claude Makelele starts in midfield with Lampard and Essien, while Drogba starts up front on his own with Robben and Wright-Phillips on the wings.”

“You know, I reckon we’re going to do it today,” Rainbow Dash said, as she sat down with Derpy and Twilight in the Traveller’s Rest, whilst the two teams emerged onto the pitch to the Fanfare from Rocky. “A Mourinho masterclass, just you watch.”

Chelsea indeed started the game well, with Robben getting into the area early on only to shoot high and wide. Man Utd, however, were top for a reason, and Ronaldo won a free kick from a foul by Drogba. He sent the ball into the area, only for it to be caught by Cech. Patrice Evra then had a go, seeing his shot go wide, as the Man Utd supporters continued to sing “We’re gonna win the league, we’re gonna win the league…”

Chelsea immediately went on the counterattack, and a pass from Michael Essien found Wright-Phillips, who played in Drogba, Drogba seeing his shot tipped over by Man Utd’s veteran keeper Edwin Van Der Sar. Shortly afterwards, Robert Kovac passed to Robben, who set up Drogba. Drogba once again had a go, but again Van Der Sar tipped the shot over.

Carrick then fouled Lampard, the midfielder going for goal from the free kick, but hitting it straight at Van Der Sar.

Shortly after the half hour, Paul Scholes looked to find Wayne Rooney. Rooney played Ronaldo in, and the winger’s shot beat Cech only to cannon back off the post.

With just under ten minutes to go until half time, Makelele intercepted a pass and passed to Drogba. Drogba played the ball into the area to Robben, and the Dutch winger sent it beyond Van Der Sar into the net to give Chelsea the lead.

In stoppage time at the end of the first half, Drogba broke free of the United defence and cut the ball back to Wright-Phillips. Wright-Phillips played in Essien, who let fly from 20 yards. Van Der Sar parried the shot, but Ferdinand didn’t clear the ball in time and lost it to Drogba, whose shot hit the side netting.

“I’ve never understood why they do this,” I said, as I passed Dinky a muffin while the teams left the pitch at half time with Glory, Glory, Man United playing over the tannoy. “We don’t play Blue is the Colour or Blue Day at half time.”

Chelsea continued to press in the second half. Wright-Phillips passed to Robben, who recovered the ball from Nemanja Vidic to pass to Drogba, who sent his shot wide.

Shortly afterwards, a United cross was cleared by the Chelsea defence. Evra beat Drogba in the air and volleyed a pass to Michael Carrick, who played the ball on to Ronaldo. Ronaldo again looked for Rooney, whose effort was high and wide.

Just after the hour mark, Chelsea attacked once again. John Terry tackled Paul Scholes and passed to Robben, who took off down the left before sending in a cross. Drogba connected, sending his volley fizzing past the post.

It was United’s turn next, Giggs receiving the ball from Ronaldo before shooting wide, and then seeing a shot saved by Cech two minutes later.

With just under 20 minutes left, Vidic was penalised for a foul on Drogba, resulting in a free kick just outside the box. Lampard stepped up and fired the free kick over the wall and into the net.

“How’s that for an early birthday present?” I asked Dinky, as the away section celebrated what should surely be the winning goal.

And indeed, it was. Chelsea closed the match out from there on, becoming the first team that season to take three points from Man Utd.

Manchester United 0-2 Chelsea (Robben 37, Lampard 71)

“Just as I sai-” Rainbow Dash said in the Traveller’s Rest, only to be tackle hugged by Derpy before being able to finish the sentence.

“Well, we said before the game that Chelsea would need to produce their best performance of the season, and they did exactly that,” Big Match said. The camera then cut to the Chelsea manager, Jose Mourinho, who was being interviewed by Kick Off.

“Do you have any comment on what was a superb performance by your side?” Kick Off asked.

“We didn't start the season well enough,” Mourinho replied, “But this result today, this win, it proves that the title race starts now.”

“And so, confirmation of the table as it stands...” Big Match continued.

1 Man Utd 22pts
2 Liverpool 19pts
3 Bolton 18pts
4 Chelsea 17pts
5 Arsenal 16pts
6 Portsmouth 16pts

Thanks to Arsenal’s 1-0 win over Portsmouth, Chelsea had climbed into the top 4 and sat just five points behind Man Utd. Suffice to say, it was a jubilant mood on the train back to London.

Monday 9th October

Sadly, the mood the following day, Dinky’s 8th birthday, was far more poignant. I’d expected the situation to be difficult, but it wasn’t until she was looking at the photo album Derpy had sent her that I was told about the entirety of the situation.

“It happened four months ago,” she said sadly. “I came home from school and found Mommy throwing me a birthday party. Of course, I was suspicious because it was four months before my birthday, but it wasn’t until I-I saw *sniff* that letter and-and-*sniff*-and…” She found that she couldn't continue, and I pulled her into a hug as she began to cry.

In Ponyville, Derpy walked through her house. Her eyes glistened as she took a look at the makeshift shrine, comprising of letters which had arrived from London and, in a couple of cases, Scotland.

"Happy Birthday, Muffin," she murmured softly, as she pinned the latest match report from Football Daily - headlined by Mourinho's post-match statement - to a noticeboard.

“I rented Shanghai Noon today,” I eventually said, as Dinky pulled back from the hug, “I was thinking we could order pizza and watch it. Would you like that?”

Dinky nodded.

“In that case, I’ll get the leaflet. We can order it, request the delivery time, and then continue our epic quest to make Accrington Stanley champions of Europe."

Chelsea’s quest to be Champions of Europe, meanwhile, would hit another snag later that week when it was revealed that Ricardo Carvalho would require a second operation on his ankle owing to the injury sustained in the brutal “friendly” at Hampden Park at the beginning of August. Mourinho was not happy, and began sniping at Galatasaray in virtually every press conference. And coupled with England’s abject performance in the Euro 2008 qualifiers, the mood was not good as Chelsea travelled up to Middlesbrough, where the woolly hat and scarf from the megastore that I’d given Dinky for her birthday made their Chelsea debuts.

Of course, the fact that Chelsea had lost 3-0 at Middlesbrough the previous season didn’t help matters either. When Emmanuel Pogatetz opened the scoring for Boro in the eleventh minute, you could have been forgiven for thinking a repeat was on the cards. And although Frank Lampard equalised three minutes before half time, Mark Viduka put the hosts back in front in the 73rd minute and secured all three points which, coupled with Arsenal’s 2-0 win at White Hart Lane, saw Chelsea drop to 5th in the table.

Author's Note:

Old Trafford does have its own railway platform, but it was used exclusively by home supporters.

I did some research into the stadium, and the away section is in the upper tiers. Umbrellas really are banned from grounds in the Football League, due to the fact that they can be used as weapons.

Twilight actually supports Oxford United (Due to Oxford being the oldest university in the English-speaking world) but is watching the matches at the Traveller’s Rest to give Derpy moral support. Despite being a season ticket holder, Rainbow Dash generally doesn’t go to away matches due to it being much harder to obtain tickets.

The Fanfare from Rocky plays as the teams take to the pitch at Old Trafford. Glory, Glory, Man United is, predictably, the anthem of Manchester United, and plays when the teams leave the pitch at half time (and at full time if the home side win). Blue is the Colour is the anthem of Chelsea Football Club, and is only played at the end of a match at Stamford Bridge when Chelsea win.

As previously stated, this was originally planned as a sequel to “Today, Tomorrow, and Forever”.

In Football Manager, it's common for players to take a team from a lower league to be a dominant force. Jay from The Inbetweeners apparently took Woking from the Conference to the Champions League in six seasons, although in this case it is a team effort. Whilst this was initially Aldershot Town, I retconned it to refer to this classic advert.

It’s Teesside, in North East England, in the middle of October. It’s going to be cold. In addition, the moment ponies from Equestria began attending matches, the various clubs would have seen a new market opening.

Comments

[Bronycommander]

Nice. Dinky mentioning a birthday party, is that a reference to that story where Derpy did exactly that before Dinky was taken?

[Wessexbrony]

9442067
Yes (Pretty depressing to read, and I come from the country that gave the world Eastenders. Where's Shinichi Kudo when you need him?). Like I said, this was intended as a sequel, but I chopped and changed a few things around - for one thing, Derpy can speak coherently, but has a problem with speaking too quickly, although that's getting better. In addition, Dinky and her caretaker guardian are both singing from the same songsheet here - both proverbially and at the matches.

Incidentally, the British Association of Social Workers lodged a complaint with the BBC about two years later over a similar storyline in Eastenders.

[The Blue EM2]

Old Trafford station's an awkward one. Trains have to run up to Piccadilly from the Warrington end, then reverse through Deansgafe.