Over Land and Sea

by Wessexbrony

Jitters at Home

Chapter 12

Jitters at Home

Wednesday 8th November

“It'll be good to be back at Stamford Bridge,” I said, as the two of us prepared to depart for Chelsea's return group game against Bayern Munich. “I attended the quarter-final against Bayern here two years ago, and-”

“Chelsea won 4-2?” Dinky interjected.

“Yes.” I replied, impressed by her guessing. “We would have won 4-1, but Ballack dived in the area to win a penalty and get them a second in stoppage time. We went through to the semis despite losing the second leg 3-2.”

Of course, Ballack was now a Chelsea player, and he was missing for this match due to injury. And against Bayern, that wasn't ideal, especially with Benfica hosting Celtic and looking to leapfrog Chelsea in the standings.

“We could do with some of your weather control,” I joked to Rainbow Dash, as the three of us headed through the rain to the Stadium, its lights seemingly guiding the crowds into it like 42,000 ships entering a massive port.

Mourinho had opted to field Geremi alongside Essien and Makelele, with Lampard in the hole behind Drogba and Fontana, which matched Bayern's own 4-3-1-2 formation.

The game started evenly, but it was the German side which struck first after 18 minutes. A corner was only half-cleared, and Pizarro got the ball on the edge of the area before feeding in Roy Makaay, who sent the ball past Cech.

Chelsea responded, however, and two minutes later Ottl was penalised for a foul on Drogba. Lampard stepped up for the free kick, looking to repeat his goal against Manchester United, but this time he fired the ball over the bar. In the 29th minute, Drogba passed to Lampard, who played the ball to Fontana. Fontana let fly from the edge of the area, only to see his shot cannon back off the post and be cleared. Three minutes later, Drogba looked to get a goal himself, only to miss the target.

Chelsea had looked to take control of the game, but two minutes from the break, Bayern looked to increase their lead. Some good play down the right flank saw Claudio Pizarro sent a cross in for Podolski, who headed the ball wide.

Chelsea, relieved at having been let off the hook, looked to attack once more and, in stoppage time at the end of the half, Geremi tackled Pizarro and moved the ball to Lampard, who played a through ball to Fontana. Fontana got free of the defence and took the ball into the box before placing a shot into the bottom left corner of the net as Kahn came out to meet him.

“Get in, great time to score!” I shouted, as the home supporters cheered.

“Isn't it always a good time to score?” Dinky asked.

“Scoring just before half time generally has a psychological effect,” I replied, “At least, that's what the pundits always say. Besides, four years ago, World Cup quarter-final, England are 1-0 up on Brazil, then Ronaldo scores just before the break. Brazil went on to win 2-1.”

“Was that the one where-”

“-Ronaldinho caught Seaman off his line from 35 yards out, yes.”

The second half began with Bayern looking to sit deep and frustrate Chelsea, but in the 51^st minute Chelsea broke away down the right. Khalid Boulahrouz took the ball down the flank and sent a cross into the area, only for Kahn to catch it.

Six minutes later, the Blues went on the attack again. Essien passed to Lampard, who ran at the defence before slipping the ball to Fontana. Fontana aimed for the top corner from just inside the area, and although Kahn got his hands to the ball, he couldn't keep it out.

On the hour mark, Chelsea tried to come forward once more, but Geremi was penalised for a foul on Schweinsteiger.

Bayern then looked to attack themselves, with Schweinsteiger sending a cross into the Chelsea area in the 66^th minute, which was cleared by John Terry.

A minute later, however, a defensive mix-up between Boulahrouz and Kovac allowed Podolski to steal into the area and pounce to bring Bayern level.

After that, the match devolved into a midfield battle, with little to distinguish between the two sides in the final 20 minutes. In the final minute of normal time, Fontana got through on goal and looked to complete his hat-trick, but his shot was tipped behind by Oliver Kahn.

Chelsea 2-2 Bayern Munich (Fontana 45+1, 57; Schweinsteiger 18, Podolski 67)

“Well, Chelsea will regard this as two points dropped in the end,” Big Match said, “But they know what they have to do. Win their two remaining group matches, and they are assured of a place in the last 16.”

UEFA Champions League Group F: Matchday 4

1 Bayern +3 8pts
2 Benfica 0 6pts
3 Chelsea +2 5pts
4 Celtic -5 3pts

Benfica had retaken second spot in the group with a 3-0 win over Celtic, but Chelsea would qualify if they picked up maximum points from their remaining two games.

In a pub in Canterlot the following day, two mares from the Foal Protection Services were eating their lunch and discussing the cause of what had nearly resulted in an international (for want of a better word) incident with Great Britain.

“I still don't understand why Belladonna insisted on sending Dinky to London,” one of them said, as she put ketchup on her hayburger. “We could have set her up with that couple in Coltsborough and sorted out visitation in three months at most. At least Coltsborough has its own school of magic, rather than the weekly hour of tuition that the embassy offers-"

"What about that school of magic in Scotland?"

"Lyra, you know full well that Hogwarts is fictional. Besides, I never liked those books. The writer's knowledge of social services seemed to start and end with Oliver Twist, just like how soap opera writers' knowledge of the profession starts and ends with Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Anyway, going back to my point, it just seems unnecessarily cruel-”

“There's your answer, Autumn,” Lyra responded. “I'd bet you that cruel is our glorious leader's middle name. Why else would she make that agreement about Chelsea winning the treble? All the same,” she continued, “I should have taken Dinky to her new guardian, given that I actually know him.”

“Wait, what?” Autumn spluttered, nearly showering Lyra with bits of hayburger. “How...why…when...”

“When I was in the middle of secondary school, I spent a term in London as an exchange student,” Lyra explained. “He was part of my host family.”

“Did you see all the sights of London?”

“Most of them,” Lyra said. “As well as Tomorrow Never Dies.”

“I preferred A View To A Kill, myself. Anyway, are you still seeing Ms Hooves?”

“Yes, every Friday at 3pm. She tells me she's coping fine, but I'm not too sure myself; she's kept a shrine consisting of everything her daughter sends her from London-”

“That doesn't seem amiss.”

“-and a noticeboard comprising of the reports of every match Chelsea have won this season.”

“Touché.”

“How are you doing sorting out visitation?”

“It's strange,” Autumn said. “I sent off the form to the visitation office weeks ago but they're still yet to receive it. I'd like to think it's just gotten lost in a black hole of paperwork, but...”

“I see what you mean,” Lyra replied, “But we had problems with paperwork before, and we'll continue to have problems with paperwork. Try and chase it up, and if that doesn't work, send out another one.”

Author's Note:

I wonder how big a port would need to be to accommodate 42,000 ships…

The quarter-final between England and Brazil will always be one of those “what if” moments. I actually watched it at school because the game was played in Japan and it kicked off at 7:30am British time.

There's a pub about two minutes' walk down the road from where I work, making it ideal for lunch. Unfortunately, it's also about two minutes' walk from the local sixth form college.

Coltsborough is a Briticised version of Coltsburg, from "Today, Tomorrow, and Forever". I found that the name sounded wonderfully “Oop North” (England north of the Midlands) and so I decided to throw it in.

Comments

[Bronycommander]

Another well-made chapter. Can't blame Derpy, better have some evidence.