• Published 24th Jan 2019
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Over Land and Sea - Wessexbrony



For Dinky and Derpy Hooves, there's much more than trophies riding on the outcome of Chelsea's season.

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Eyes on the Prize

You can't applaud a referee” - Sir Alex Ferguson

Monday 12th February

Dinky and several of her classmates were once again crowded around a radio at the embassy as the draw for the sixth round of the FA Cup was made.

“...will play Aston Villa. Number six.”

“Number six is Chelsea.”

“And they are at home to…”

“Please be Plymouth…” Dinky thought.

“Number four.”

“Number four is Arsenal. Number five.”

“Number five is Everton.”

And they will play...number two.”

“Number two is Plymouth Argyle…”


Saturday 10th March

“...despite their elimination from the Champions League by Real Madrid in midweek, Arsene Wenger has said that his side are still eyeing the double…”

“Wishful thinking,” I retorted, “We're unbeaten against that lot in the last nine matches against them. We beat them in November with three key players missing and turned them over in their own backyard just over a month ago.”

“And what about the fourth missing player?” Dinky asked, as she poured herself a cup of tea.

“Fontana? Well, he’s solely looking to put himself in the shop window so that a Champions League side like Bayern or Inter comes calling in the summer, but if he can’t score against a League One side tomorrow then there’s little hope of that.”


“Today’s quarter final of the FA Cup is perhaps the most eagerly-anticipated,” Kick Off said, “Chelsea versus Arsenal, with both sides having eyes on a possible double. They both sit nine points behind Manchester United in the title race, but while Arsenal are out of the Champions League, Chelsea marched on into the quarter finals with that rearguard display in Istanbul. Petr Cech is still not fully fit, so Carlo Cudicini keeps his place in goal...”

The match started well for Chelsea, and inside the first ten minutes, Drogba did what he did best with a shot which beat Lehmann for sheer power. But then, in the twentieth minute, came a potential turning point.

“Here’s Fabregas,” Kick Off said, “And he’s looking to create something, now Adebayor, shrugged off the ball by Lampard, but the referee’s blown for a foul...hang on, he’s reaching for a card, and it’s red! I don’t believe this! Well, Mike Riley is saying that Lampard was the last man, but there were at least two defenders covering, Mourinho is absolutely livid!”

“Well, the important thing is that Chelsea keep their heads,” Full Time said, “They’re a goal to the good, if they keep their eyes on the prize they should see it through.”

The free kick went harmlessly wide, and Mourinho sacrificed Gudjohnsen for Makelele, reverting to a flat midfield. It was, however, Chelsea who had the next chance. Ballack intercepted a pass from Eboue to Gilberto, before finding Drogba, who went on a run through the Arsenal area, holding off Eboue and Toure, before getting into the area and seeing his shot cannon back off the post, with Lehman gratefully gathering the ball.

Ten minutes later, a cross by Essien was cleared by Eboue. Ferreira beat Hleb in the air and crossed the ball to Drogba, who couldn’t strike it cleanly and volleyed it wide.

Arsenal looked to get back into the game as the half drew to a close, with a ball into the box being cleared. Three minutes from the break, Ljungberg passed to Eboue, who hit the ball first time into the area. Henry beat Carvalho in the air, but his header was straight at Cudicini. Two minutes later, a cross from Hleb was cleared by Ashley Cole.

Arsenal started the second half brighter, and five minutes in, a cross from Ljungberg was headed clear by Carvalho. The clearance was intercepted by Gilberto, who looked to go for goal and sent the shot considerably wide.

Four minutes later, Makelele intercepted a pass and sent the ball to Ballack. Ballack slipped it to Essien, who got down the right, getting past Gallas before sending in a cross. Drogba beat Eboue to the ball and connected with a volley, only to hit the post for the second time in the match.

With just under twenty minutes left, Drogba was caught offside, before Mourinho brought Joe Cole on for Ferreira and moved Essien to right back.

As the match entered the final ten minutes, Robben intercepted the ball ahead of Ljungberg and and passed to Drogba. Drogba played a give-and-go with Joe Cole before getting into the area and seeing a shot tipped wide by Lehmann, with Robben heading Ballack’s corner wide. Chelsea won another corner three minutes later, which was cleared.

With two minutes left, Henry fed the ball to Adebayor, who sent Ljungberg down the right. Ljungberg sent a cross into the area, which Carvalho was able to clear ahead of Henry. That was Arsenal’s last attack, and Chelsea advanced into the FA Cup semi finals.

Chelsea 1-0 Arsenal (Drogba 9, Lampard s/o 20)


“Right, I’d say we’ve got 40 minutes before El Clasico starts,” I said, looking at my watch, as the three of us left the stadium. “So I say we make a detour via the supermarket opposite the flat and get some supplies for the game.”

El Clasico did not disappoint. Early in the match, a cross from Higuain was deflected to Van Nistelrooy, and the former Man Utd player let fly from just outside the box to give Real Madrid the lead. Shortly afterwards, a pass from Samuel Eto’o into the area found Messi, who sent a low shot into the bottom corner to level the score.

Real Madrid went straight to the other end, and were awarded a penalty when Guti was fouled in the area by Oleguer, who received a yellow card. Van Nistelrooy made no mistake, sending Valdes the wrong way to restore Real’s lead. Barcelona came back, and Ronaldinho had a shot saved by Casillas before Messi smashed the rebound into the roof of the net.

On the stroke of half time, Barcelona were reduced to ten men when Oleguer received a second yellow card. Real Madrid looked to take full advantage, and Sergio Ramos restored their lead with a header in the second half.

That looked to be that, but there was still one last twist. In stoppage time, Ronaldinho found Messi, who beat two Real Madrid players before firing a shot across Casillas to have the final word.

“That...was...awesome!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. I couldn’t help but agree.


Monday 12th March

“So, we can now go live to the draw for the quarter finals of the Champions League.”

The UEFA Executive pulled out the first plastic football and unscrewed it.

“Chelsea, will play...Liverpool.”

“Them again…” I muttered, “This is the third season in a row we’ve faced them.”

“Lyon, will play...Barcelona.”

“Liverpool and then Barcelona? All we need now is Monaco and we’d have the full set.”

“AC Milan, will play...Valencia.”

“Wait, that just leaves-” I muttered. Dinky seemed to have caught on as well.

“Real Madrid, will play Manchester United.”


Tuesday 13th March

“The international break looms,” Kick Off announced, “But before it arrives, we can bring you live coverage of tonight’s West London Derby at Stamford Bridge. Chelsea are in amazing form at the moment as they look to make up for the first half of the season, and Mourinho has said that he is relishing the battle ahead as his side are drawn to face Liverpool in the Champions League yet again...”


“Think it’s over, Ferguson? Think again!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, as we left the stadium.

Chelsea had come out on top in the West London Derby, having controlled the game from start to finish. Twelve minutes into the match, Arjen Robben had cut inside from a pass by Drogba and given Chelsea the lead.

The visitors had responded in the 27th minute through Moritz Volz, but three minutes later Chelsea had restored their lead, Drogba heading home from Robben’s cross.

Chelsea then proceeded to dominate the second half, and seven minutes from the end, Drogba’s effort was parried by Niemi and Gudjohnsen pounced on the rebound.

Premier League Table

1 Man Utd 73pts
2 Chelsea 64pts
3 Arsenal 64pts
4 Liverpool 58pts
5 Bolton 49pts
6 Everton 48pts

16 Wigan 33pts
17 Sheff Utd 31pts
18 Charlton 27pts
19 West Ham 23pts
20 Watford 20pts

Author's Note:

The El Clasico depicted in this chapter is in fact the very same El Clasico which took place on 10th March 2007.

“All we need now is Monaco and we’d have the full set” Dinky’s guardian is referring to Chelsea’s three previous Champions League conquerors, Barcelona (2005/06 and 1999/00), Liverpool (2004/05) and Monaco (2003/04).

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