Dude, did your parents get killed by a gang of roving punctuation marks? Was there a massive price increase on commas and periods? Your sentences run on is what I’m trying to say.
I like how you mentioned derpy being cool with walking in on her daughter about to get it on. Just means if it was spike *wink wink* it might turn into a threesome. I hope diamond gets the word out on that loser then finds out what spike did for her and to her ex.
9613994 Oh yes those damn dirty commas killed my mother and father stabbed them with explanation points I'll kill them. But my sentence are running good they look fat they need to lose weight! LoL
While I find this a fun read, I also find the little grammatical errors, like improperly placed symbols and missing quotation marks, quite annoying. I suggest you find a proofreader or turn your chapters over to an editor, preferably both, I’m sure you can find a few groups on this site for that sort of thing.
9614146 i look forward to anything you have in store. though if i am to be completely honest , i am a sucker for a romantic comedy. so that may be the reason for expecting what i asked for. this is a harem story. i was being too picky with a harem story. 9614165 i would read a story based on this comment and laugh my ass off reading it.
9614437 Lol well its a semi harem story though mainly its focusing on Silvia and Spikes relationship and forming relationship heh and for that story heh that would be funny i agree XD
9614448 spike and the mighty exclamation point. A noble warrior who, travels a land of bad spelling and punctuation, gathering friends along the way and with them thy bring their choice weapon.
9615948 You know, it never says that Spike n and Silvia have to be monagulous...I could see Tiara as a roomate..and there had to be a chapter about the strip club...
I take back what I said about the stamina wish, this wins the "Easiest Wish to Turn Into Something Sexual and Frankly Spike You're Pretty Stupid For Not Picking up on That" Award
DAMN, Diamond Tiara going to work at a STRIP CLUB, I would just LOVE to see that, maybe you could have a chapter where Spike gets dragged into said club and see's her and maybe Silver Spoon working there up on stage together?
And i was exspecting spike to take her in or something. Well lets hope that we get some diamond hard spike action.
Lustful genie can really grant wishes with naughty-realm results.
Also, why it 'just' open but 'a long time ago'? It sounded contradict with each other.
Why the suitcase was mentioned twice? It did not sound like there were two suitcases in this sentence here.
Dude, did your parents get killed by a gang of roving punctuation marks? Was there a massive price increase on commas and periods? Your sentences run on is what I’m trying to say.
Was not expecting those twists, but I like the idea of Diamond Tiara working as a stripper.
I like how you mentioned derpy being cool with walking in on her daughter about to get it on. Just means if it was spike *wink wink* it might turn into a threesome. I hope diamond gets the word out on that loser then finds out what spike did for her and to her ex.
9613996
Heh got to love a good twist thsts for sure
9613953
Well who says its the end heh because all things have meaning for later
9613993
Those were my mistakes im sorry.
9614095
Heh oh you never knoe what could happen or what would lead to a threesome muhaha
9613994
Oh yes those damn dirty commas killed my mother and father stabbed them with explanation points I'll kill them. But my sentence are running good they look fat they need to lose weight! LoL
While I find this a fun read, I also find the little grammatical errors, like improperly placed symbols and missing quotation marks, quite annoying. I suggest you find a proofreader or turn your chapters over to an editor, preferably both, I’m sure you can find a few groups on this site for that sort of thing.
That all said, this was an interesting chapter
9614146
i look forward to anything you have in store. though if i am to be completely honest , i am a sucker for a romantic comedy. so that may be the reason for expecting what i asked for. this is a harem story. i was being too picky with a harem story.
9614165
i would read a story based on this comment and laugh my ass off reading it.
9614437
Lol well its a semi harem story though mainly its focusing on Silvia and Spikes relationship and forming relationship heh and for that story heh that would be funny i agree XD
9614448
spike and the mighty exclamation point.
A noble warrior who, travels a land of bad spelling and punctuation, gathering friends along the way and with them thy bring their choice weapon.
as i'm writing this im losing it.
what a bitch.
Most excellent.
9614457
Lol if you want take the idea and write it Muhaha
9614629
If i can get my computer to work then i will. Ive been reading and commenting off my phone, and thats pretty hard.
9615167
Know that feeling i write some of this while im on my break at worj while on my phone
9615176
I have aflip phone. What type do you have?
9615205
Android and yikes that would be a pain
9615206
It is. I also have big thumbs and have to deal with auto-correct.
Could be worse at least Spike didn't wish for Diamond Tiara to be his personal maid.
9615655
Pfft oh god XD that would so not work out
9615948
You know, it never says that Spike n and Silvia have to be monagulous...I could see Tiara as a roomate..and there had to be a chapter about the strip club...
9644121
Oh not that lol diamonds tiara in this can't clean to save her life also they're might be a sttip club chapter
I take back what I said about the stamina wish, this wins the "Easiest Wish to Turn Into Something Sexual and Frankly Spike You're Pretty Stupid For Not Picking up on That" Award
DAMN, Diamond Tiara going to work at a STRIP CLUB, I would just LOVE to see that, maybe you could have a chapter where Spike gets dragged into said club and see's her and maybe Silver Spoon working there up on stage together?