Nice pic but... will it attract people yes. Will it go with the story??? no... is this a good read well... yes of course it is... do I like it... yes i do... do i hate it no. do i dislike it no... do i love it... *Cums hard*
I'm gonna be honest. I'm not going to read this. I was going to, but the description is such a mess that I've lost all drive to do so. It's a shame. The concept isn't bad, but I really can't imagine that it's going to read any better than the description.
Interesting story idea, but you might want to get a proofreader. There are many instances of misplaced words, run on sentences, use of the wrong homophones (your/you're), and some simply awkward sentences.
Too rushed. I really liked it, but it seemed like you were just trying to get it out, rather than tell a story about Spike and his entrance into adulthood, especially with all the possibilities that'll arise, not to mention the moral dilemas and consequences that come from suddenly gaining so much power... But mostly I wanted to see their bond, their history, and their exploration of all kinds of different fetishes, but since it's "complete", I'm just gonna have to use my imagination
9416512 You know if i get bored or commissioned I can write more chapters its just a fun story i wanted to write for the heck of it, since i didn't have much to do I could come by it later, though i might change it to incomplete if people ask for it
I laughed my butt off at the "don't wish for Betty White to die of old age" wish being impossible. So, so true. That lady is immortal. She and Queen Elizabeth will be ruling the world once the rest of us bite the dust.
Needs another round of editing. I mean seriously, halfway down the first page my brain locked up trying to read. I suggest reading it out loud to yourself, "Hoof of Argon" style to help spot the errors.
I can't believe this made featured. The grammar is so horrendous, it causes me mental anguish. I would highly suggest you at least learn what a comma is and how to use one.
A very humorous and sexy story. I liked it. The Betty White line made me laugh.
That being said, I say this as constructive criticism; The grammar could use a bit of work. I got a little confused while reading it due to the lack of proper paragraphs and punctuation. A good night of reading over, studying proper grammar techniques, and editing, and this could be a much better story.
Like I said though, I really enjoyed it. Well done!
VERY fun read. Although, I can't help but ask this. Are the characters in the story ALL anthro? If so, I think you forgot to add the anthro tag to this story.
Other than that, I'm looking forward to this story getting more chapters and seeing more of Spike's new sexual misadventures.
Also, I can't help but think that thanks to Silvia, Spike is pretty much going to become a Dragon Sex God by the end of this story. IF it ever reaches its end.
9746675 ... Yes i speak english i was born in America ive heard this statement many times, and its annoying to read it i try working on it my grammar sucks blame my teachers in the south they fucking suck.
How would this have an E rating?
9415783
Lol it was an accident XD I thought it was Mature XD I fixed it XD
9415786
Okay, just wanted to let you know!
9415791
Lol thank you XD I'm laughing my ass off by the mistake XD
If the genie is Pinkie Pie, then shouldn't there be a Pinkie Pie tag?
9415811
It's not Pinkie pie sorry it was just used as a picture for the story, there is a genie though
Nice pic but... will it attract people yes. Will it go with the story??? no... is this a good read well... yes of course it is... do I like it... yes i do... do i hate it no. do i dislike it no... do i love it... *Cums hard*
9415860
Heh well Rye i'm glad you know you had a great time, XD and cum again XD
I'm gonna be honest. I'm not going to read this. I was going to, but the description is such a mess that I've lost all drive to do so. It's a shame. The concept isn't bad, but I really can't imagine that it's going to read any better than the description.
9416083
Well thats a shame, though hey if you change your mind check it out it's still be here
It would have been really awkward if when Starlight walked by, one of the girls the genie made was Starlight herself.
9416235
I know right XD but imaginr3 her reaction XD maybe a sequel or chapter someone suggested
Interesting story idea, but you might want to get a proofreader. There are many instances of misplaced words, run on sentences, use of the wrong homophones (your/you're), and some simply awkward sentences.
9416351
I'll try and find one when ive got time
damn, we definitely need more silvia!
Too rushed. I really liked it, but it seemed like you were just trying to get it out, rather than tell a story about Spike and his entrance into adulthood, especially with all the possibilities that'll arise, not to mention the moral dilemas and consequences that come from suddenly gaining so much power... But mostly I wanted to see their bond, their history, and their exploration of all kinds of different fetishes, but since it's "complete", I'm just gonna have to use my imagination
9416512
You know if i get bored or commissioned I can write more chapters its just a fun story i wanted to write for the heck of it, since i didn't have much to do I could come by it later, though i might change it to incomplete if people ask for it
9416468
Heh maybe there will be more in the future
9416512
Screw it XD I might make more chapters cause why not XD
Finally, another genie story!
9416627
Lol they are rare XD wait there is another one heh now im curious XD
I laughed my butt off at the "don't wish for Betty White to die of old age" wish being impossible. So, so true. That lady is immortal. She and Queen Elizabeth will be ruling the world once the rest of us bite the dust.
Needs another round of editing. I mean seriously, halfway down the first page my brain locked up trying to read. I suggest reading it out loud to yourself, "Hoof of Argon" style to help spot the errors.
I can't believe this made featured. The grammar is so horrendous, it causes me mental anguish. I would highly suggest you at least learn what a comma is and how to use one.
A very humorous and sexy story. I liked it. The Betty White line made me laugh.
That being said, I say this as constructive criticism; The grammar could use a bit of work. I got a little confused while reading it due to the lack of proper paragraphs and punctuation. A good night of reading over, studying proper grammar techniques, and editing, and this could be a much better story.
Like I said though, I really enjoyed it. Well done!
9417302
Heh well I'll try to work on the grammer can't promise too much but ill try i mainly do this on my spare time
VERY fun read. Although, I can't help but ask this. Are the characters in the story ALL anthro? If so, I think you forgot to add the anthro tag to this story.
Other than that, I'm looking forward to this story getting more chapters and seeing more of Spike's new sexual misadventures.
Also, I can't help but think that thanks to Silvia, Spike is pretty much going to become a Dragon Sex God by the end of this story. IF it ever reaches its end.
9417772
Lol yeah their all anthro my mistake heh and you'll have to see im getting some ideas XD just gotta see what happens
9417772
Oh and he definietly won't wish to be a sex god lol where thr fun in that
9417854
True, but I was referring to him WORKING to get to that level. And only with those he keeps close to his heart most likely too.
9417883
Lol you got that right XD
9417898
Anyway, I doubt you are going to tell us readers who is going to be in the "harem", that is IF Spike ends up with one.
Personally, I just hope that Ember is one of them.
Either way, looking forward to the rest of the story.
9417916
Lol your right on that one I'll never tell its more fun not knowing hehe. Why the harems that tell us before we start is boring in my opinion
9417923
True. Well, again I'm looking forward to future chapters.
This is... in 'English', right ?
I'm asking, because I have never seen- or rather read- such a ''curiously structured English'', I must say.
9746675
... Yes i speak english i was born in America ive heard this statement many times, and its annoying to read it i try working on it my grammar sucks blame my teachers in the south they fucking suck.
this aged like milk
11103221
Maybe one of the genies got lucky
Dracula dead and loving it