• Member Since 29th Jun, 2015
  • offline last seen 30 minutes ago

mrmidnight


A writers who's somewhat out there now, also taking commission's Let's see what you guy's got for me. I even have a patreon

Sequels5

Comments ( 228 )

How would this have an E rating? :rainbowhuh:

9415783
Lol it was an accident XD I thought it was Mature XD I fixed it XD

9415791
Lol thank you XD I'm laughing my ass off by the mistake XD

If the genie is Pinkie Pie, then shouldn't there be a Pinkie Pie tag?

9415811
It's not Pinkie pie sorry it was just used as a picture for the story, there is a genie though

Nice pic but... will it attract people yes. Will it go with the story??? no... is this a good read well... yes of course it is... do I like it... yes i do... do i hate it no. do i dislike it no... do i love it... *Cums hard*

9415860
Heh well Rye i'm glad you know you had a great time, XD and cum again XD

I'm gonna be honest. I'm not going to read this. I was going to, but the description is such a mess that I've lost all drive to do so. It's a shame. The concept isn't bad, but I really can't imagine that it's going to read any better than the description.

9416083
Well thats a shame, though hey if you change your mind check it out it's still be here

It would have been really awkward if when Starlight walked by, one of the girls the genie made was Starlight herself. :pinkiecrazy:

9416235
I know right XD but imaginr3 her reaction XD maybe a sequel or chapter someone suggested

Interesting story idea, but you might want to get a proofreader. There are many instances of misplaced words, run on sentences, use of the wrong homophones (your/you're), and some simply awkward sentences.

9416351
I'll try and find one when ive got time

damn, we definitely need more silvia!

Too rushed. I really liked it, but it seemed like you were just trying to get it out, rather than tell a story about Spike and his entrance into adulthood, especially with all the possibilities that'll arise, not to mention the moral dilemas and consequences that come from suddenly gaining so much power... But mostly I wanted to see their bond, their history, and their exploration of all kinds of different fetishes, but since it's "complete", I'm just gonna have to use my imagination

9416512
You know if i get bored or commissioned I can write more chapters its just a fun story i wanted to write for the heck of it, since i didn't have much to do I could come by it later, though i might change it to incomplete if people ask for it

9416468
Heh maybe there will be more in the future

9416512
Screw it XD I might make more chapters cause why not XD

Finally, another genie story!

9416627
Lol they are rare XD wait there is another one heh now im curious XD

I laughed my butt off at the "don't wish for Betty White to die of old age" wish being impossible. So, so true. That lady is immortal. She and Queen Elizabeth will be ruling the world once the rest of us bite the dust. :derpytongue2:

Needs another round of editing. I mean seriously, halfway down the first page my brain locked up trying to read. I suggest reading it out loud to yourself, "Hoof of Argon" style to help spot the errors. :derpytongue2:

I can't believe this made featured. The grammar is so horrendous, it causes me mental anguish. I would highly suggest you at least learn what a comma is and how to use one.

A very humorous and sexy story. I liked it. The Betty White line made me laugh.

That being said, I say this as constructive criticism; The grammar could use a bit of work. I got a little confused while reading it due to the lack of proper paragraphs and punctuation. A good night of reading over, studying proper grammar techniques, and editing, and this could be a much better story.

Like I said though, I really enjoyed it. Well done!

9417302
Heh well I'll try to work on the grammer can't promise too much but ill try i mainly do this on my spare time

VERY fun read. Although, I can't help but ask this. Are the characters in the story ALL anthro? If so, I think you forgot to add the anthro tag to this story.

Other than that, I'm looking forward to this story getting more chapters and seeing more of Spike's new sexual misadventures.

Also, I can't help but think that thanks to Silvia, Spike is pretty much going to become a Dragon Sex God by the end of this story. IF it ever reaches its end.

9417772
Lol yeah their all anthro my mistake heh and you'll have to see im getting some ideas XD just gotta see what happens

9417772
Oh and he definietly won't wish to be a sex god lol where thr fun in that

9417854

True, but I was referring to him WORKING to get to that level. And only with those he keeps close to his heart most likely too.

9417898

Anyway, I doubt you are going to tell us readers who is going to be in the "harem", that is IF Spike ends up with one.

Personally, I just hope that Ember is one of them.

Either way, looking forward to the rest of the story.

9417916
Lol your right on that one I'll never tell its more fun not knowing hehe. Why the harems that tell us before we start is boring in my opinion

9417923

True. Well, again I'm looking forward to future chapters.

Not the whitecoats!!!

9426307
Lol yes XD fear the white coats

This is interesting for sure. I think it would be fun if Shiva would bring out the hidden lust of his friends, more so any hidden desires they might have for her master. More than anything else her job is to make sure he is pleased and if he should there be a chance to give him a mare she knows he has desire for as well she will make it happen. That is what my head canon has done here at least, Pinkie has had lust for Spike but never acted on it now tho she has. Which will open up for her to come and see him whenever she has desire. Which will give Spike all the love and attention he has been wanting on top of Shiva. Now he will have the chance to not only get Rarity someone he has been wanting for years, but also Sweetie as well lol. I think Spike will soon ask Shiva to start to give him more sexual skills to make him into a god of intimacy. I mean he wants to be more than good at sex but fucking great and if you have a sex Genie why not do just that lol.

The only real problem I can find is that you need to have someone comb over the chapters for grammar. You have a lot of words that don't belong, aren't spelled correctly, or have gotten the wrong words because they sound the same but are spelled different. (for example: There, their, they're. They sound the same, but all have different meanings.)

You also seem to be capitalizing words that are not nouns (names, in case you don't know), and not capitalizing words that are names, such as Twilight's name in this part, and the word 'clothes'.

“Well how about we get you some Clothes I know twilight got some Clothes that might be able to fit you.” He would look over staring at her large perky breast that was at least twice twilight’s breast size. ‘Hopefully.’

I find it helps to read through some of the more word-heavy stories out there (A good example is Hard Reset. Very dense script at times, but a good story regardless.) and try to compare the writing style of those stories to your own. The point isn't to mimic their styles, but rather to give you a good baseline to work from.

If you'd like, I can look through any chapters before you post them and correct the grammar for you. A friend of mine did that for me and I slowly learned where to make the corrections myself as we went. I'm rather busy right now, but things should calm down in a couple weeks so just go ahead and shoot me a PM if you'd like.

Beyond that, the story itself is fairly good so far. Can't wait for more.

9426340
Hmm sure could do that when things calm down no problen and the clothes part i know why those are capitalised it was my fault i normally spell it cloths insteaf so i had used replaced all and accidently wrote Clothes

9426307
At least it was not a white mare or there will be trouble.

"I wish that every sex act must be consentual."
That would solve so much crime.

9429606
It would be heh but some wishes are too big even she cant grant XD

YES!!! THE DOCTOR IS FINALLY GINGER!!!!!! *Starts playing the Hallelujah Chorus* :pinkiehappy:
He's never going to want to regenerate ever again! XD

looking forward to next chapter, best story so far.

9431572
heh well I'll be working on it when i get a chance I've got a couple of other stories I'm working on that's been commissioned

9430365
Lol Oh yes, and all it took was for the Doctor to basicly be fucked to death in order for it to happened XD

9433212
thanks for the info.

I don't know how I got here, but this is a surprisingly novel concept. Also has a lot of potential for shenanigans; How or why did Celestia have something like this in her possession? What is the Genie rulebook? Will Spike find loopholes? Who will be the first mare to suffer a wardrobe malfunction? These are the questions.

9437883
Lol well you'll find out more next time XD and glad you like the concept

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