Luna’s moon was just beginning its descent beyond the horizon when Applejack opened the front door of her farm house. The pre-dawn air was cool against her orange coat as the familiar scents of her farm filled her nostrils. As her eyes scanned over her family’s orchards she could see the drops of dew that clung to the leaves of her apple trees, sparking with the last of the moons light.
Off in the distance she could see two figures trotting up the path that lead to her home, one short and the other tall. The short one pulled a little cart behind him, filled with copies of the morning paper.
“Good morn’in Shady Daze,” Applejack greeted the colt before looking over to his father, “and to you too Mr. Daze.”
“Good morning Miss Applejack,” the colt replied while his still half asleep parent gave a friendly nod back.
The powdery blue colt slid out from his harness and turned back to the cart. With expert precision the young earth pony slipped the tip of his muzzle under one of the rolled up papers and flipped it into the air to land atop his head. He then trotted up to Applejack who took the paper with one of her hooves.
“Thank ya kindly,” she said with a smile.
“You’re welcome,” the colt said as he crawled back into the cart’s harness. “Have a good day!”
“You too,” she waved, as they turned around and headed back down the path, “both ya’all.”
After steeping back over the threshold and closing the door behind her, Applejack unrolled the paper to read the mornings headline.
‘Changeling Spy discovered among student body of Princesses School of Friendship, Six guards go missing after pursuit.’
“Oh boy,” muttered the mare, “Twilight’s gonna be busier than a stump full a termites ta’day.”
The sound of little hooves coming down the stairs caused Applejack’s ears to perk up and she glanced away from the article to see her little sister.
“Are ya really gonna let that guard use Winona to track changelings?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Well, if’in Winona can help find Sandbar an’ any other missin ponies, then we have ta give it a go,” the farm pony said.
“But what if she gets hurt?!” the filly cried out, continuing to express her concern from the afternoon before; after she had given Applejack a note from the guards who requested to borrow their collie.
“Apple Bloom, keep yer voice down or ya’ll wake granny,” Applejack scolded, “and ya can quit your worrin’in because I’m gonna insist to go along with them guards an make sure Winona don’t get put in no danger.”
“But what if ya get hurt?!” Apple Bloom whispered loudly.
“Ah can handle ma self against them creepy crawlers,” the orange mare assured the filly.
“But ya got captured by um both times ya fought them already,” the filly reminded her.
“Cut it out with all them buts, Apple Bloom,” snorted Applejack before letting out a sigh. “Look now, it means a lot ta me that ya care so much about me an Winona’s safety, but sometimes a pony just got’ta get in the pig pen an get a little muddy.”
“Ah know, but I don’t want ta see anythin ta happen ya,” muttered the little yellow filly.
Applejack walked up to her sister, sat down next to her and pulled her into a bone crushing hug.
“Apple Bloom,” she said, “ah won’t let myself or Winona get in trouble none, ah pinkie promise.”
Celestia’s sun was only just beginning its eastern ascent when Private Coldsteel and Blaze entered the command tent. Lieutenant Silverspark, with his helmet off and extremely unhappy, stood behind a long wooden table that was opposite the door. Right now, with how angry he was, he needed that table to be between him and the two stallions.
Both guards stood at attention but showed signs of being nervous, with their ears drawn back and jaws tightening. Private Blaze, even with his enchanted armor on, now sported a dark green stain around his eyes which reminded Silverspark of a raccoon’s mask.
“Before I begin,” the lieutenant said, keeping his tone even, “I need to know if you two have had any medical procedures recently.”
Blaze blinked owlishly and risked a confused glance at Coldsteel who only clenched his jaw a little tighter while keeping his head facing forward.
“No? Then could one of you explain to me how the contents of your skulls ended up in your backsides?!” roared the unicorn while slamming his front hooves hard on the table’s surface and causing the two stallions to flinch. “Because any pony with half a brain in their heads wouldn’t have screwed up as badly as you two!”
“Sir,” Blaze began.
“Private Blaze,” Silverspark snapped, interrupting the other unicorn. “I want you to remind me of the instructions I gave your team yesterday.”
“To go around Ponyville and record any information the townsfolk have concerning changeling sightings,” Blaze answered.
“Really?” the lieutenant said in mock surprise, “Private Coldsteel, when did I say you could interrogate anypony?”
“You didn’t sir,” the private answered and then swallowed the lump building up in his throat.
“Did I instruct anypony to give pursuit if they ran into a changeling?” Silverspark asked while walking around the side of the table.
“No sir,” said Blaze.
“So you all decided to incorporate your own plans into the orders I gave?” the lieutenant asked, stopping inches away from the two.
“Sir it wasn’t,” began Blaze before getting cut off.
“No, I don’t want to hear any excuses!” shouted Silverspark, sending spittle into Blaze’s face. “If you had followed your instructions then six of your fellow guards wouldn’t be missing! Missing and presumed captured!”
The unicorn stallion took in a long breath, pushed back his indigo mane and looked from one guard to the other with his intense azure eyes. He was just waiting for one of them to try and say another word.
“And yes, I know you didn’t tell Private Spring to chase after the changeling, nor did you tell sergeant Shield and her team to assist.” the lieutenant continued, “but none of that would have happen if you just recorded information like you were told. Am I wrong?”
“No sir,” both guards said.
“Until I can decide what to do with you two,” Silverspark said, turning away from the two and walking back around the table, “I’m assigning you both to guard the camp. I trust you can keep the local foals from going through our equipment, or am I being too optimistic?”
“No sir,” they answered.
“Good, but first I want you both to fill up twelve sandbags each, with tea spoons and without magic. Once that’s done, go see Sargent Cyclone,” said Silverspark with a dismissive wave of his hoof. “Now get out.”
Just after the disciplined stallions left, Private Daydream poked her head in the tent.
“Sir, a Miss Applejack is here to see you,” the mare reported.
“Good, please send her in,” said Silverspark.
Into the tent trotted an orange earth pony mare with a long blond mane that she had tied back into a ponytail. Walking alongside her was the same collie from yesterday, happily wagging its tail as she looked around the tent.
“Thank you for answering my request Miss Applejack,” the unicorn said, “it’s nice to meet you.”
“Mah pleasure Mr. Silverspark,” said the mare, “but just Applejack will do. Don’t need no fancy titles.”
“Applejack it is,” Silverspark said with a nod, “and you can call me Platinum if you wish. Now, I trust your sister passed along the scroll I gave her detailing the idea to use Winona in an attempt to track the movement of the changelings?”
“She did,” Applejack answered, “and while ah want ta help in anyway ah can, there are a few conditions ah need before ah agree.”
“Very well,” said Silverspark, politely motioning for her to continue.
“First, ah don’t want Winona gettin hurt,” Applejack said, “she’s been a part of our family for a long time an ah take care of family.”
“Understandable,” the lieutenant acknowledged, “and as of right now I just want to see if Winona can point us in the right direction. We don’t want to engage in any fights with the changelings, we only want to locate where they are hiding out.”
“Second, ah want to go along,” the mare paused, maybe expecting Silverspark to argue with her but when he didn’t say anything she continued. “Ah trained Winona since she was a pup and she’ll listen best ta me.”
Silverspark pushed his front hooves together in thought for a moment, weighing the pros and cons. He of course knew Applejack was an Element of Harmony and had help save Equestria many times over, but she was still a civilian.
“If those are your stipulations,” he said and held out a hoof, “then I’ll have to accept them.”
Applejack reached across the table and placed her hoof against his own, knocking them together in agreement.
someone better pull the teapot off the stove before it boils over
Maybe you stop toying with background characters already? Soon here will be less chapters about MC then this guards. Really, Did you forgot your own story title?
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Yeah, this brand of magpie-like storytelling makes me wonder if it's because some authors have real trouble telling a complete story from a single perspective.
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Or maybe, just maybe, the author is making sure we know everything leading up to an event so that people can’t complain that there wasn’t any foreshadowing? You two could do with being a bit less assholeish with your criticism to.
And Snow, the vast majority of successful fictional stories out there, both on here and in general, have multiple perspectives. That’s obviously not always the case, but it’s more than common enough that anyone should be able to recognize it as just a normal thing to happen in a story like this. In fact, without it we would just be following the day-to-day of what is the equivalent of a child who, while is having some interesting experiences, probably isn’t going to have stuff constantly happening. It would just be %90 filler before suddenly, out of th it blue, the guards show up or whatever and than you or someone else would complain that there was no lead up or warning.
Could you two please just take 5 seconds to think about what you are arguing before posting it? Because it only takes a few seconds to see the glaring flaws in what you are saying as it stands.
I wonder if Winona and Applejack are going to stumble head first into one of Pupa's traps. I'm certain no-one in the search party will have expected a newly hatched nymph/foal to have been the one to think them up. Pupa's going to continue surprising everyone.
Erm, sorry for question but how do they plan to use dog to find changelings who flew away with Sandbar?
things are getting tense as we get closer and closer to an encounter/attack... and I love it
I just want you know that chrystalist might have a change to reformed is just her heart Will full of darkness if she doesn't reformed and Will drive her and people to be crazy btw i pick up this line from star wars
this shall be an interesting challenge the changelings shall face shall they be tracked near to the old hive location? or will this method affect the new hive? who knows nice to read about Winona and applejack here hoping it doesn't end up with a hurt dog cause it is a bit risky against protective and angry changelings but I dought the dog method is a new tactic to be used on them when they realize it but maybe that realization shall take time?
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You have NO IDEA what you talking about. Multiple perspectives are NOT okey. They are okey only with multiple main characters. Or they usually called Intermissions or alike, and used to show what mc can't to viewers or make a foreshadowing of a problem. And no, most successful stories do not have such a way of storytelling as here. It's not about telling everything we need, it's just ignoring main character. Even "water" can be about mc, and, i make you notice, lately all chapters about mc IS a water. Nothing more than sweet little stories, EVEN THEN they mostly from Chrysalis's perspective. NO, most of what happening with guards is just filler, as do not affect the story in a long run anyhow. It's all getting plain boring, actually.
Well, if you enjoy reading about guards... I guess this book should be named "To be a Guard" then. I mean, when was the last time we heard mc's thoughts? I don't even remember.
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I guess they'll walk in the general direction the guards ran off in and just wander around until they find a scent trail?
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Well I don't mind this style of storytelling to be honest, the chase scene with the guards could have been better but oh well not everything's perfect, and I can't think of what it would be like in pups view because at the moment all pupa can do is practice her mana control!
Maybe we'll see more from pupas perspective when she grows up and is able to do more things on her own without supervision.
To author
Just putting my opinion in but with the guards you could make them look at bit better to change it so that when she asks to open the window they show some awareness that she could be a changeling and separate and go into a kind of pincer manuvure, then miss changeling blinds one guard (the unicorn) then uses her magic to blast open the window (changeling is disguised as unicorn) thus starting the chase scene.
This is just my opinion, hope you like it
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Y'all need to take a pill. There are New York Times best sellers that utilize the TOOL that is multiple perspectives, and actually quite a few of them flip to minor characters for bit to set the stage for or illustrate the consequences of an mc's actions. Neither of you know any more than I do (which I should note is effectively zilch) about the author's plans for this story, nor how long it will be when it's finished, so your claims are all unfounded, unjust, and out of line. Good day
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Don't you flip my words. I'm saying that mc lately present less then secondary characters, and this is a fact. As a fact, that there is nothing interesting when she is present. I'm not saying whatever you said i saying; i'm saying that this is getting boring. And whatever published in your magazines is not a example for books. Besides, some styles a better suited for genre; there it's not the case. Yes, author can do whatever he wants. But there goes a simple solution. I gave a advice; if it's noted, i glad and read this story more. If not, then, welp, i and some others are going to leave. It's not a ultimatum, it's just lack of patience for waiting for something interesting.
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If this were true I'd be upvoting this comment, because by itself, it's fine. The narrative here is getting a little bit scattered, which is a point I'm sure the author is taking under consideration so it doesn't get to Winter's Heart levels of split-perspective (that was an entire several-hundred-page book that was nothing but advancement of half of the plotlines of an ongoing fantasy series, with barely a mention of the other "main" characters!) as that does bog things down in minutia and risk becoming tiresome.
Reading the comments by you that were quoted before, no. You're being revisionist. You specifically stated "[m]ultiple perspectives are NOT okey [sic]" which is patently untrue, has nothing to do with some magazine, and displays a profound ignorance of common writing practices in contemporary works of fiction.
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Also, the fact that the New York Times best seller list is an honor that a published work can receive, not a cut-rate publication in and of itself. Not to mention that the New York Times is a reputable news paper (my bad for being too lazy to add italics on mobile; it's amazing how something as simple as not having access to Ctrl+I can be such a ridiculous inconvenience), and not some random magazine...
BTW, thanks for the assist, Midknight
9571612
Perspective is a tool used to tell stories. It is not, and should not be a crutch to prove that a part of a story really was thought of in advance. Yes, popular works do feature perspective changes, and such are common in visual media. By and large, however, which character the perspective follows is limited to a protagonist, or the switch is brief.
The reason for that is because the reader needs to be pulled into a story, and constant breaks in the flow of that story is jarring or worse, you don't spend enough time with any one important character to form an interest and attachment to them. If you create the attachment, then you have to maintain it and choosing instead to spend all of your time talking about the other characters who, hitherto, have not been developed and introduced to the readers will generate a feeling of "Yeah yeah get back to the good part."
The recent trend of stories on fimfiction to just throw a shotgun blast of semi-related vignettes from a hodgepodge of different characters is what I refer to as magpie-like storytelling, and spending more and more time talking about what's going on 'behind the scenes' breaks the wall that there is a scene, and you start telling more about the world than the specific story taking place in it, which breaks the flow of the narrative.
If To Be A Changeling is flitting about because of a decision the author is making about a storytelling methodology, fine. I may not agree that it's the best way they could do it, but fanfiction is generally one of the places to experiment and have fun. If, however, it's a result of being unable to express what they want to any other way, then there is a problem.
9572393
At this point it is pretty obvious that your opinion is generally considered to be “absolute shit” and “completely worthless”
This is a completely genuine writing style, and seems to work well for plenty of us readers (780 upvotes to 8 downvotes is a pretty solid indicator of popularity) and the votes on everyone’s comments seem to also paint a pretty clear picture as to what people enjoy when reading a story.
9572393
The fact that a comment this constructively critical got a hail of downvotes is frankly disappointing, even if you don't agree. Honestly, I kinda feel the same way -- we're seeing more of Worst Guards Ever than the actual protagonist.
Multiple perspectives are a valid tool, but it's very easy to use wrong and hose your pacing. They're typically used when you have either a large cast of roughly equal weight, or clear intermissions. Books like Redwall are a good example of both -- you have one or two "main" quests that split the majority of the screen time, and a couple brief villain cameos. Ponyfic in general tends to support this well, because our default cast is usually 6-7 ponies and a dragon that are each capable of carrying subplots while they weave around the main one -- though keep in mind, most stories and episodes tend to pick a handful at a time.
For the first several chapters the perspective was fine. Pupa and Chrysalis were effectively heading the two main plots, there were a couple short intermissions with the villains, and there was no problem. The problem happened when we left the school. Now the protagonists got back together into one thread, but the story is still trying to carry a second just for the sake of it. If it even needs one, it probably would've made more sense to follow Twilight and Thorax trying to track down the conspiracy instead of the Ponyville Keystone Kops shortchanging everyone important -- to say nothing of how their bungling basically everything is going to make us less likely to want to follow them.
It really is a double-edged sword. And the second edge is on the handle.
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I don't really want to spoil anything, but this is the last chapter that takes place outside of the hive and away form Pupa for a little while.
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I admittedly would still like to see at least some of the Young Six, Twilight, and Thorax in the future. I still believe that, come success or failure, the other five of the Young Six would rescue Sandbar no matter how impossible anyone says it is.
Do. Or do not. There is no try.
- Yoda
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They will return too
...Questioning people is typically how one gathers information from others...?
I'm beginning to wonder what this whole arc is meant to accomplish. Aside from showing how obviously superior changelings are, how they're just victims or something, and how stupid ponies are. They've kidnapped a kid, and have further dug a hole for themselves from there, yet the tone of the story seems to be that we should be cheering on the changelings?
It's just, who are we supposed to be supporting here? Because so far practically everyone has become unlikable.
Nice military discipline scene.
The military comes up with very interesting and effective methods. Usually it's something crazy difficult like carrying 100 lbs of sandbags up 12 flights of stairs to reinforce a tower. Pushing a 8ton truck 2 miles in the 120 degree Fahrenheit desert.
The best punishment I've ever heard? A guy would not stop singing, whistling, or humming all through Basic Training. One day, their Sergeant got fed up and stuffed the recruit in a locker. He told the entire unit to get out every quarter coin they had and make the Jukebox sing the entire day in that locker. (He was only let out for water and restroom breaks.) He was in there for 18 hours singing whatever song the unit wanted him to sing. The recruit never sang through his entire career after that. But he did make $50 in change that day.
If you ever want good war stories, I recommend this guy's channel. He's been in 3 wars in 25 years and has more experience than I'll have in my lifetime.
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2-vNIPFVHq_FxbYriRFE8cGEGD92k6OA
The home made crater bomb has got to be my favorite.
One hell of a mess only because this soldiers are to eager for progress... I dont envy Silverspark for his status report...
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Silverstream? Are you sure you don't mean Silverspark?
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Yep thanks
Put them on latrine duty!
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Looks like it spill over, ruined the surrounding and continues to get worse...
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Your slapping there unreasonable comments verbaly into oblivion was fantastic
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The Guard target was a rough location search not a in depth search. I doubt outside the entrance a singel trap is set ever.
If Pupa would ve full of surprising things half the story would probably get less funny & wholesome
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Ponys sweat and Pegasus can lose feathers.
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Who would A nice build up is always great
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There is no reason to reform. Why should the Changelings and not the ponys change there actions.
Chrysalis is feeding her subjects. It the most basic think to do...
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They will follow the Guardponys trail. Its easyer than following Changelings.
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Game set, match & victory Well done ^.^
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They are set in there ways and dont even invest more time in research than write comments like that.
Just downvote and eventually they learn or get bored to stop eventually i guess.
9572358
Wow your comment has exacly 2 dislikes. Wonder who could it possible be...
9572732
Its perfectly fine
CMC Hiver location Squad?
What the ponies expect to find:
What the ponies actually find:
Flurry Heart would be Pupa...
Ah, it is good to see idiots being punished for their actions.
You gon' get captured too.
Time for some fun...