Magical Medicine

by yellowbastion

Chapter 2 Part 3

Author's Note:

Someone DMed me and asked for clarification of an event I referenced in a previous chapter.

Today is an average day. It’s better than yesterday but worse than it will be tomorrow. You are feeling things in a way that you haven’t in a long, long while. Sad, apprehensive, anxious, nervous, and other things you don’t have the words to explain. The resident purple Yoda of Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle, had finally figured out a way to send you back across space-time to your home planet of Earth. You had wanted a full, proper sendoff befitting of a national hero such as yourself; a parade, brass marching band, fireworks, the whole nine yards. But you gladly settled for the bento lunch Fluttershy had packed for you, which was the superior option. She did things with bread, sandwichy things, that delighted your taste buds. So, here you are, rugged and handsome, standing in an empty field outside of Ponyville, in the middle of a compacted dirt clearing, inside an intricately drawn chalk circle, patiently waiting to magically blip home.

Twilight and her friends, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and the white one, all stood evenly spaced around your circle. Hanging from gold chains around their necks were crystal jewels in the shape of their cutie marks which they had borrowed from a magic crystal tree. The Elements of Harmony and their bearers, the single most powerful force in ponyworld were required to power Twilight’s spell to send you home.

You were seconds away from finally going home. The six ponies surrounding you had their eyes closed in deep concentration and were starting to glow. You felt that now was the best time to confess your most grievous sins against them. After all, you would never see these people ever again. What better time to do that than now? Originally, you had wanted to write it all down in a letter but you still didn’t know how to write in the pony language so your heartfelt words will have to do. A magical wind was starting to pick up so you needed to rip the metaphorical bandage off quickly. You don’t know what happens next but you know what needs to happen now. Having to admit that you’re anything less than perfect at all times is going to be the most difficult thing you will ever do in your life.

“Applejack, I was the one who told Rainbow where you stored extra barrels of apple cider. We were the ones who drank them.”

“Aw shucks, now I gotta apologize to Flash.”

“Rainbow Dash, knife monopoly isn’t a real game and neither is wrench dodgeball.”

“But you said they are your world’s most dangerous games!” You could feel the hurt deep in your soul. It hurt several times less than being pelted with iron wrenches and spanners.

“Pinkie Pie, I’m not really allergic to raspberries dipped in white chocolate. I just don’t like how the seeds get stuck in my molars.”

“Gasp!” Pinkie gasped. “I knew it!”

“Fluttershy, I’m the one gave Discord the idea to set up a market stall to sell poison joke tea and invest all the profits in crypto currency.”

“But, I could have used those extra bits to feed more of my critter friends…”

You look at the white pony with purple hair. “Um… you. I don’t actually know what your name is. You’re Sweetie Bell’s sister, yeah? Well, nice meeting you, I guess.”

“The nerve!”

What was taking Sprinklebottom so long to finish her spell and send you home? Does her magic run off of AOL or something?

“Twilight, I was the one who created the blockchain and invented crypto currency and… you’re teeth are clenched. Doesn’t it hurt, grinding them like that? And you’re growling. Are your eyes supposed to be glowing like that? Twilight, are you even listening to me? Hello?”

You could see it now and it looked like danger. You could feel it in your danger bones. Somehow, opening up and being honest to your pony friends had backfired. Your psychiatrist was wrong, yet again. You had always known that opening your heart to others and sharing your feelings will only get you hurt. Now here is your proof, for what good it will do you in what little time you had left.

Then the magic exploded. Twice.

---

There was nothing left but a black scorch mark on the compacted dirt. The grass field was deathly quiet, the magic wind had died down. Your horn was still smoking and sputtering glitters of raw magic. The spell had failed in the worst possible way. Flakes of ash and soot were falling from the sky, dusting everything in a fine, grey powder.

Fluttershy was the first to speak up. “Um, you did send him home, right Twilight?”

You didn’t answer. You were still furious. Heaving breast, huffing heavily in and out through your nose. You knew he was a liar but why did he have to tell you all those things while you were casting? You’re sure that he knew that strong, negative emotions had a detrimental effect on magic. There was no way he could have not known! You had personally given him several lectures on magic!

“Good riddance. Ah say we ain’t see nothin’.” Applejack stated. “Lazy, good for nothin’ thief.”

“Aww, he was blasted to smithereens. I’m going to miss Nonnie. He was a lot of fun.” Said Pinkie Pie, wiping some soot off her face. "And now he's just a lot."

“I’ve never been so close to someone before,” said Fluttershy, fluttering her wings in an attempt to shake the powder from herself. “I don’t think I like it very much. He’s getting stuck to my feathers.”

Rarity kicked a hoof at the black smudge. “You tried your best, darling. No humans here. I’m sure he’s in a better place now.”

“Yeah, like in several different places. Yuck! I’m going to need a dunk in the pond now.” Rainbow Dash said. She tried to shake free from some of what was left of the human off her leg to no effect.

“I say a visit to the spa is in order. What do you say, Twilight dear?” Prompted Rarity.

The six of you had been through some tough times together. You all have learned many valuable lessons from your many adventures around the world, like how to create a convincing alibi. You felt bad, but not as bad as you thought you should. After King Sombra, dealing with things like these was somehow getting easier, which worried you a little bit, but only for a second. You finally tore your eyes off the smoldering pile of ash to address your friends, your accomplices, your co-conspirators.

“Yeah, the spa sounds pretty good right now.”

You’ll come back later to clean up the circle, burry the evidence, maybe plant a little marker somewhere in memorial. It’ll all still be here tomorrow. Anon wasn’t going anywhere. Ever again.

Comments

[tsaukpaetra]

Grim, but fitting.