Dear Twilight Sparkle, My Most Faithful Student,
I would like to invite you to the very first annual Hearts and Hooves Day Gala. It will be taking place the evening of Hearts and Hooves Day, which is in exactly ten days. I would be very honored if you decide to come, and I want you to bring all five of of your friends and Spike. However, this is a "couples" Gala, meaning that all six of you are expected to bring some sort of romantic companion, or else you won't be allowed to participate. I look forward to seeing you there!
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
Bringer of the Day
Co-Ruler of Equestria
P.S. It's a potluck dinner- feel free to bring something.
"Twilight? Twilight?" A blurry purple and green figure slowly came into focus as Twilight blinked her eyes. "You okay, Twilight?"
Twilight slowly got back on her hooves. "Please tell me that I imagined that letter."
Puzzled, Spike grabbed the parchment. "This letter?"
"Dang it!" Twilight shouted. "I wasn't imagining it!"
"What's so bad about going to a Gala? It doesn't sound as bad as the last one we went to," Spike said, reading through the letter.
"Are you kidding? I have to bring a 'romantic companion'!"
"A what now?" Spike asked.
"A DATE!" Twilight shouted, pacing around the room. "I have to bring a DATE! I can't believe this! This can't be happening? I just proved I don't need love! And now it turns out I do need love! Why doesn't the universe listen to me?"
Clearly, Twilight does not understand irony.
"Hey, what does she mean, 'And Spike'?"
"I suppose you're all wondering why I've gathered you here today," Twilight began, looking out at her friends.
"Well, yeah," said Rainbow Dash. "You've been pacing around shouting 'I can't believe this!' for thee past five minutes."
"We've all been invited to a gala!"
"Oh, really! That's marvelous!" said Rarity. "I shall have to make us all new dresses!"
"Nononono! I haven't finished!" exclaimed Twilight. "We have to bring . . . dates!"
The ponies stared at Twilight.
"Is this why y'all were askin' us all them questions earlier?" Applejack asked, peering at Twilight skeptically.
"No! That's the thing! I do all this research, and I conclude that love is irrelevant, and then we have to find dates! It's the worst coincidence ever!"
To repeat, Twilight, despite all of her book learning, does not understand the concept of "irony".
"And if we don't bring dates, we can't go! But we can't not go, because we've been invited by Princess Celestia herself! You can't turn down an invitation from her! It's an impossible dilemma!" Twilight cried, making random gestures with her hooves.
"So . . . all of us have ta get dates?" asked Applejack.
"It's a Hearts and Hooves Day Gala! We only have ten days!" shouted Twilight.
"Pshh!" snorted Rainbow Dash. "Ten days! That's super easy. The Dash is a total stallion magnet. Chick magnet too. Why, I could have somepony asking me out in Ten-"
"Seconds Flat?" finished Rarity sarcastically. "Honestly, Rainbow Dash, you couldn't be less ladylike if you were a stallion! Finding the perfect date is a delicate process. It must be done with care and finesse. I wouldn't expect the rest of you to understand, of course . . ."
"And what makes you so special?" ask Applejack. "A frou-frou dress and false eyelashes?"
"I thought you swore never to discuss that!" shouted Rarity, turning towards Applejack and snarling. Fluttershy slowly crept away.
"Yeah!" shouted Rainbow Dash, making Apllejack turn and glare at her, growling, "That don't mean ah approve of yer opinion of romance either!"
The three all glared at each other. Fluttershy hid underneath a book. It didn't hide her very well.
"Oh boy! It's a potluck!" shouted Pinkie Pie, ignoring the commotion. "This is gonna be great! I'm gonna make two cakes- no, three cakes! No, three cakes and some cookies!"
Twilight sank under the table next to Spike. "See! I told you! Romance causes too many problems! Why do I have to deal with it right after I've just elimated the need for it?"
Irony [n] - A sharp incongruity between what is said and what actually happens. Ex: Deciding that love is useless, only to be forced to find a date.
It was chaos; Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash were nearly coming to blows; Fluttershy was on the verge of hyperventilating, and Pinkie Pie was randomly bouncing around the room, blabbing eagerly about food.
"PONIES!" came a loud voice. Shocked, Twilight looked around; it certainly hadn't been any of the girls talking. It took her a few moments to realize that Spike had actually been the one who spoken up; he was striding out into the center of the room. The girls were all staring at him rather perplexedly.
"You all just need to chillax!" he said, spreading his arms. "There's nothing worth fighting about here; we're all friends, right?"
"Spike-wikey's right," said Rarity, lowering her front legs, "We have more important things to worry about."
"You're right!" exclaimed Pinkie Pie. "I'd better start baking now!"
Applejack sighed. "Shucks. We shouldn't be fightin'. 'T'aint right."
Twilight got unsteadily to her feet. "Well, I guess I'll you guys around?" she asked uncertainly.
The five ponies bade their farewells and filed out the door. Spike, closing his eyes and leaning coolly against a bookshelf continued, "And Rarity, maybe we could be a bit more than friends? I mean, you're gonna need a date, right?"
Then he opened his eyes and realized there was nopony there.
Twilight trotted over to the window and stared outside. There were hundreds of ponies in Ponyville. Surely, one of them would be willing to go to the Gala with Twilight. Surely.
Well, probably.
*Insert hateful comment here*
If the next chapter is just a hyperlink to Nopony Loves Twilight Sparkle, I shall simply die of laughter.
Yay! I finally understand what irony is!
1012249
This. I swear when i saw the chapter titled 'What is love?' I kept singing 'Baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. No more...'
I love this! Please continue.
Awesome, I can't wait for the next chapter!
1023071
gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs1/3449076_o.gif
And yes, I had the exact same reaction
I'd vote Doctor Whooves if he wasn't paired with derpy
Want me to decide what pairing I think it necessary? Reply me back for an answer.
Chapter 2, second paragraph -- "natty" means looking sharp, dapper, crisply dressed.
Other than that, though, fun story, looking forward to more!
oh i hope you update this soon
maybe twilight should ask trixie
1023350
Whoops. Thanks for catching that; it personally sounds like the exact opposite of "dapper". But I've changed it now, so it should be fine.
The use of words expressing something oother than their literal intention! Now that. Is. Irony!
1023532
I would love to see that!
I can't wait for more!
1023263
Well, they do both have the last name Hooves in the fandom, so they're either married or related (in some states they could be both).
1024495
True. Then again, I wonder what Riversong has to say about that...
Let the games begins.
Very nice, my friend. I'll be watching this one.
The title and premise are very similar to 'Friendship is Magic, Love is Confusing' by Phil the Time Wizard, which is already on here. Kinda fishy.
1023263 And I'd vote for Caramel to be a date for either Pinkie Pie or Applejack if he didn't already have a girlfriend in "The Perfect Stallion" from "Hearts and Hooves Day" and the same goes for Big Mac unless he and Cheerilee just didn't work out.
all six. Since she invited Spike as well, it should be all seven.
1023006 XD You and me both
Well, I guess I'll you guys around? Need a see there.
Damn, a lot of errors in this chapter but I'm loving this more and more Pinkie Pie is bucking funny as hell
funny as hell btw saw a mistake in the story:
"Yeah!" shouted Rainbow Dash, making Apllejack turn and glare at her,
Did this chapter have something ironic in it?
I can tell I'm really going to like this one.
Typical, typical Twiley...
I think I have received 3 weeks worth of irony here.
irony or karma? this is giving me a irony/karma induced headache