A human, tumbling from his own harsh world, falls into the colourful land of Equestria but soon comes to learn that you better dont expect neither good or bad before turning the first page.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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this chapter confused me he went from merciful to sadistic in a few words berry punch seemed a little out of character for me too.
However for this chapter if I had to rate it id give it a 7/10!
9125906
Yeah,it was not my best. Gotta learn how to tone it right, but i will get better i promise.
9125920
might wanna get and editor or at least someone that has read your story and can give you a guiding hand to grab onto!
I have to agree it went from 0 to 100 in an instant. And twilight changed way to fast to.
Missing space.
Lowercase i should be uppercase.
an
The space and opening quotes are switched.
Missing space.
sent