Stargazing

by Gamingwithsalmas

Stargazing

It was another normal day for Twilight sparkle.Just sitting down,on her bed,in her room,reading a book.She was just about to finish reading chapter 10 in her book when she heard Shining armor calling her...

"Twily!Someone's at the door asking for you!"Shining yelled.

"Coming!"Twilight yelled back.Hmmm I wonder who's here,Twilight thought to herself.Twilight then got off her bed and placed her book down.She started heading towards the front door when she heard a familiar voice.

"Yeah...I'm twilight's friend.I'm just here to ask her some-"Sunset then notices Twilight."Hey Twilight."Sunset waves at her.

"Hey Sunset."Twilight waves back.Twilight faces her brother,"It's okay,it's one of my friends.You know,Sunset Shimmer".

"Ohhhh!"Shining faces Sunset"So your Sunset Shimmer.Twilight talks an awful lot about you".

"SHINING!DON'T JUST SAY THINGS LIKE THAT!"Twilight yelled at her brother.Her face red as a tomato.

Shining and Sunset just laughed at Twilight."Well I'll leave you two be."Shining says as he waves goodbye and heads to the kitchen.

"Anyway.."Twilight's blush leaves"What are you doing here Sunset?"Twilight smiles at Sunset.

"Well I was wondering...if you wanted to go stargazing,right now?"Sunset asked.

Twilight asked,"Is anybody else coming"?

"No,it's just gonna be you and me."Sunset said looking away,blushing.

Twilight was stuttering,"Just...y-you...me...a-alone?"Twilight was looking at the floor,picturing her and Sunset by themselves.

"Yeah...Applejack told me everybody else would be busy today and said to ask you.But if your busy I understand."Sunset said,looking back at twilight and her blush leaving her.

"Ohh...nonono I was just reading a book...that can wait.Just let me get ready.You can wait in the living room."Twilight replied,pointing to the living room.

"Ok"Sunset says,while heading to the living room.Twilight runs upstairs into her room.For everybody else,this would be normal,just a friend asking to hang out but for Twilight,it's more than that.Sunset is Twilight's biggest crush.So naturally, Twilight was freaking out.

"Ok calm down Twilight your just stargazing with her.It's not like we're going on a date.Wait...is this a date?!Anyway before I forget..."Twilight goes to her bookshelf"...I can't forget to get the book."Twilight then picks out a book called"Stars and constellations"and puts it in her bookbag,zips up her bookbag,and puts it on.

As soon she walked out the door to her room,she heard a voice,"Twilight?Where are you going?"She turns around to see Spike,really sleepy.

"I'm going stargazing with Sunset,wanna come?"Twilight asks.

Spike yawn's,"I'm good.I actually have work I want to go back to."Spike walks toward his bed and lays down.Twilight smiles then heads to the living room.

"I'm ready!"Twilight says to sunset.

"Then lets go!"Sunset says,as she gets up and heads to the door.

As soon as they were out the door,Sunset said"I hope you don't mind,I brought my motorcycle".

Twilight reply's,"It's ok,though I've never rode one before".Sunset looks at Twilight,then smiles.

"I'll show you".They reach Sunset's motorcycle and Sunsets takes out two helmets.Then hands one to Twilight.Twilight gladly takes it and puts it on.As soon as she put it on her glasses fell and thankfully,Sunset Shimmer caught them before it hit the ground.

"I think it's better if you put your glasses in your backpack."Sunset says,handing Twilight her glasses.

"Ok.Umm... Sunset can you put them in my backpack? I can't see that well."Twilight reply's.

"Sure."Sunset goes behind Twilight and takes the bookbag off.Then unzips it,puts Twilight's glasses in,zips it back up,then puts it back on Twilight.

"There.Anyway I'll lead you to the motorcycle."Sunset says leading Twilight to the motorcycle and sitting her down.She then puts her helmet on.Then sits down in front of Twilight and puts Twilight's hands on her waist.Twilight blushed.

"Um...why did you put my hands on y-your w-waist"?Twilight asked.

Sunset blushed as well,"Well because you need to hold on to me if you don't want to fall off".Sunset then started the engine."Hold on tight it may be a bumpy ride."Sunset and Twilight started riding off.Twilight though didn't even hear Sunset.She was so lost in Sunsets warm body.

"I never knew Sunset was so warm.Her hair smell's really nice.I wonder what-"Twilight's thoughts were interrupted when she heard Sunset trying to get her attention.

"Twilight.ttwwiilliigghhtt.Twilight...you there?"Sunset waves a hand in front of Twilight,trying to get her attention.

"Huh?What?"Twilight shakes her head."Twilight we're here."Sunset said holding Twilight's hands to try and stop that tight grip Twilight had on her.Twilight didn't even notice they were there and that she was holding on to Sunset very tightly.

Twilight lets go of Sunset and gets off the motorcycle,"Sorry.I guess......I just didn't want to fall off hehe"Twilight lied.She then takes the helmet off.Twilight starts walking away until she trips on a rock.Sunset quickly gets off the motorcycle and gets Twilight before she falls to the ground.

"Woah,that was close"Sunset says,putting Twilight up.Sunset takes off her helmet."Here.Let me get your glasses."Sunset goes behind Twilight,gets her bookbag,takes out her glasses,then puts the bookbag back on Twilight.Sunset then puts Twilights glasses on her,"There.Better?"Sunset asks.

"Much better.Thanks Sunset."Twilight reply's,blushing at how close Sunset was.Sunset then leans back,realizing how close they were.

Looking away,blushing,Sunset says"Well we better get going".Sunset takes Twilight's hand,still blushing,and leads her to the destination.

Twilight asks,"Where are we?This looks like sweet Apple acres".

Sunset,still walking,looks at Twilight"That's because it is.Applejack showed me the best place here to stargaze.Don't worry,it's like a 10 minute walk".Sunset looks ahead again.

9 min later

Twilight and Sunset are walking in silence until...*SNAP*Twilight runs and hugs Sunset from behind.Sunset blushes at Twilight's action."W-What was that?"Twilight asks,a little scared.

"What was what?"Sunset asks,still a little bit shocked at Twilight's action.

"I heard a snap"Twilight looks at the ground and sees that she stepped on a branch."Ohhh.I stepped on a branch."Twilight says,blushing.

"Uh...Twilight?"Sunset says,pointing at her waist.

"Sorry."Twilight says,getting off of Sunset.

"Hey Twilight,You see that hill right there with one apple tree"?Sunset asked,her blush leaving.

Twilight looks up"Yeah".

Sunset smiles"That's our destination.Come on!"Sunset says,running up the hill.Twilight follows.Sunset sits down and lays on the apple tree.Twilight does the same but sits next to Sunset.Sunset points to a bright star and smiles.

"Look at that star.It's the brightest one in the sky.I wonder what it's called."Sunset says.Twilight takes her bookbag off and takes out the book.She then finds a page with a picture of the star Sunset is pointing to.

"It says Sirius,also known as the Dog Star or Sirius A,is the brightest star in Earth's night sky. Wow,so cool!"Twilight says.Twilight closes her book,and puts it aside.She then looks at the star and says,"It might be the brightest star but to me,it's also kinda pretty".

Sunset looks at Twilight,does a weird smile,then says "Yeah.....pretty".

Twilight looks at Sunset,"Um Sunset why are you looking at me like th-"Twilight was interrupted with a pair of lips on hers.Twilight blushed,eyes wide open.

Sunset parted.She covers her mouth,realizing what she just did.Sunset looks down,saying"I'm sorry".Twilight was still blushing.

"It's ok.In fact..."Twilight puts Sunsets head up,so they were eye to eye."...I think I enjoyed it."Twilight pulls Sunset in for another kiss.Sunset's eyes shot ride open but then she closes them.Both of them didn't want to but they needed air,so they parted.Sunset signals Twilight to sit in her lap.Twilight gladly does it.Twilight sits down on Sunsets lap and lays her head on Sunsets chest."Hey Sunset?"Twilight says looking at Sirius,The star.

Sunset reply's"Yeah"?

"I love you"Twilight says.

Sunset kisses Twilight on the back of her head."I love you,too".

Author's Note:

I had to do some research for this.So the quote from the book is in this link.Its the first sentence.
https://www.space.com/21702-sirius-brightest-star.html

Comments

[Gidano90]

it's a nice story, but I suggest you fix the paragraph structure. after a punctuation mark, use the space, otherwise the reading becomes more uncomfortable.

[Mystic Sunrise]

Yeah. This is a perfect example of why having an editor go over a story, or chapter, should be mandatory on this site.

I can't even finish it because all the mistakes.

[Gamingwithsalmas]

Ok.Thanks for the feedback.

[Diamond Sparkle]

Nice for a first story.

[Snowmanmelting]

There are missing spaces and punctuation, some repeated words in one or two sentences (same with the names), and maybe you can use a bit more of description to invest the reader more into the setting.
Overall, I think it just needs some work! If it's your very first story, I think it's a good start

[Gamingwithsalmas]

Ok.Thank you.

[ScisetShimmerEvan]

Twilight was stuttering, "Just...y-you...me...a-alone?"Twilight was looking at the floor, picturing her and Sunset by themselves.

A date huh, interesting.

Spike yawns, "I'm good. I actually have work I want to go back to."Spike walks toward his bed and lays down. Twilight smiles then heads to the living room.

Sleeping doesn't count as work Spike.

Looking away, blushing, Sunset says"Well we better get going".Sunset takes Twilight's hand, still blushing, and leads her to the destination.

Guess they both have crushes on each other.

"It's ok.In fact..."Twilight puts Sunsets head up, so they were eye to eye."...I think I enjoyed it."Twilight pulls Sunset in for another kiss.Sunset's eyes shot ride open but then she closes them.Both of them didn't want to but they needed air, so they parted.Sunset signals Twilight to sit in her lap.Twilight gladly does it.Twilight sits down on Sunset's lap and lays her head on Sunset's chest."Hey Sunset?"Twilight says looking at Sirius, The star.

a sigh of true love.

This story was good but I can tell there needed to be many edits and changes to be made, especially with spaces.