Appleousa (Pt.1)
About an hour later, the two of them pulled the cart up by the edge of town. It looked like a battle had taken place; smashed barricades, damaged buildings, and pies everywhere. Void even stepped in one and nearly tripped. Plow didn't notice her workers stumble. She was looking around for the buffalo chief, eventually sighting him talking with a group of the appleousans.
"There's the b******. Come on." As they went along, Void noticed the appleousans casting them odd looks. Plow didn't seem to, marching forward at a steady pace. When a very cheery appleousan tried to greet them, she pushed him aside with a simple "piss off". She began to tilt the wagon toward a group of ponies talking with a pair of buffalo, the larger of which Void guessed was thunderhooves. When they were getting close to them, however, Void noticed just who some of these ponies were.
They were her friends! Well, just AJ, Fluttershy and Twilight, but still. They were here. This shouldn't have been a surprise, considering they grew Apple's and AJ was an apple. But, still; what were the odds? She pulled her bandana up a little further, and her hat down to hide her face even more. When they were practically on top of them, Plow shouted," Thunderhooves! Where the F*** were you!? "
The buffalo turned in surprise, a look of shock on his face. He said, "Ah, miss Plow. Good to see you. Sorry I couldn't be there we were-"
Plow shot back, "Go on. I want to here the reason me and my worker were waiting in a baking canyon for Two f****** hours!"
"We had a conflict with the Applousans. They put their trees on our ancient stampeding ground. We were furious. We attacked the town. I couldn't spare anyone!"
" Well, you clearly planned to do it before hand. Why couldn't you just leave the payment for us, or even a note? *sigh* Look, as long as you have our payment, we'll just forget about this. Sound good? "
The buffalo gulped, before repling, "Um, can I cancel?"
"No. We walked 75 miles in the sweltering heat. You can't just cancel. Now, payment."
Twilight then used this time to intervene. "Um, excuse me?" When both looked at her, she continued. "Thank you. Now, exactly what is-"
Plow interrupted, "Piss off. This is a matter between us. Now, TH, your payment, or," she said, pulling a knife from inside her cloak. "We have to work this out another way."
Surprisingly, it was fluttershy that stepped up. She knocked the knife out of Plows hoof, and flew right in front of her, eyes in an uncharacteristic rage. "Now listen here, miss! You can't just come in here and threaten mr. Thunderhooves here. What if someone did this to you? Well?"
Plow said simply, "I'd stab him. If he had buddies I'd stab them too." When the equestrians stepped back in shock, with fluttershy bolting behind a group of other ponies, Plow turned back to the buffalo. "Now, you ordered the date cakes. We transported the date cakes. And I will not be cheated. So, give us what was promised, and we will give you what you wanted. Then we will leave. Simple as that. Now, where is it?"
The buffalo said, "well, you see. We, uh..."
Plow, now positively livid, yelled, "I don't want any F****** excuses! I want to be payed, and get out of this place! Now, where is my damned payment!?"
After her little rant, silence filled the town. Not even a timbleweed dared to make a peep. Then, an unexpected noise filled the air. Chewing. Everyone turned to see Spike, standing outside a saloon, a bag full of jade in his claws. He was pulling them out and shoving them into his mouth by the fistful. When he noticed the quiet and the glairs, he asked," what? "
Plow, in a slow yet shaky voice, said, "Thunderhooves. You said we were to get our payment in Jade, right?" He nodded at this. "And you had this Dragon as your guest for a while, yes?" Another nod. " Ok, I want you to be, 100% truthful with me. Is. He. Eating. My. Payment? "
When he nodded, Plow sighed and turned to Void. "Streak, why don't you unhitch yourself. Thunderhooves and I will have a long chat, so it will be a while. To get yourself a drink. Just try not to do anything, stupid." She then turned to Voids old friends. "This is between me, and him. So piss off. "
Void, after getting some bits from Plow, went over toward the saloon. Before she could enter, pinkie shot out, a massive grin on her face. "Hi, I'm pinkie pie! What's your name?" Not wanting to expose herself, she just pushed past her and into the saloon. She placed the bits on the counter and pointed at a bottle of cider. Then Twilight and the others came up to her.
Well, not all were traitors. One was a pony she didn't recognize. He had on a stetson, Brown jerkin, and had a light yellow coat. She then realized that this was the pony that Plow had told to piss off. Twilight said, "What's wrong with your friend?"
Pinkie interjected, "Yeah. She was miss rudey-rude pants."
Void shrugged, and took a long swig. She didn't want to talk with them at all. Twilight said, "um, is something wrong? Why aren't you talking with us?"
Applejack said, "Yea, Is somethin' wrong?"
Now void began to panic a little. If she spoke, they may recognize her voice. And that could be problematic. Then, she remembered something; one of her scars ran along her throat. So she began to move her hoof up and down in a talking noise, before shake my her head. Pinkie said, "oh, oh. A guessing game! Ok, how many words?"
At this, void facehooved. Hoping to get them to go away, she pulled down the collar of her cloak, revealing the scar. It wasn't as deep as the others, but still looked bad. It apparently was enough to convince them, because the stallion said, "You, can't talk. Jeez."
Void nodded, and fluttershy said, "Oh you poor thing! Does it hurt? Let me see." As she pulled in and touched it, void pulled back, nearly spilling her cider. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I just wanted a good look." Twilight, who had been silent my at the ground in thought, suddenly shot her head up.
"I have an idea!" She said, as her horn began to flare. Void got up and tried to dodge in panic. If twilight cast a spell, then things might go wrong. Instead, a piece of paper and a quill falls on the counter. The others all look at her with some confusion. Twilight says, "What was that for? I just got those for you to write on."
Once again thinking fast, void wrote in the paper,my injury was caused by a powerful unicorn. Now, why are you getting into my buisness?
She gave the paper to twilight, who showed it to the others. Fluttershy began to tear up, while the others had looks of sympathy. They all tried to pull her into a hug, but void pulled out of they're attempt. Fluttershy said, "I can't imagine what that must be like. " After getting the paper back, void wrote down another message. 1. I don't want your sympathy. 2. Just who are you to but into my business?
Fluttershy, upon reading the message, said, "Well, I wouldn't be the element of kindness, would I?" Void noticed that fluttershy got a little tearful at this. So, she wrote down on the paper, You are the elements of Harmony?. She felt a little uneasy. Could this stallion be, her replacement?
Applejack said in reply to seeing the message, "Well, not all of us. Spike and Braeburn here ain't related to the elements. Plus we got Rarity back at Braeburns house. She's the element of generosity by the way. I'm Applejack, element of Honesty. This is Twilight, magic; Pinkie, Laughter; and Fluttershy, kindness. Well, she told ya already, so I guess ya knew dat. Hey heh."
Void internally sighed in relief. So she wasn't replaced. She then narrowed her eyes. To answer her new question, she took back the paper. Aren't There six of you?. The reaction was nearly instantaneous.
Fluttershy instantly began to cry, breaking down in tears. The others looked close to doing the same as well. Twilight and AJ pulled fluttering into a hug, while Pinkies mane turned flat in no time at all. Spike walked up next to the seated mare and whispered, "Sore spot. She recently died. In a really painful way. Fluttershy wouldn't leave her cottage for over a month. *sniff, sniff* it, was hard. O-on all of us."
Then, plow pulled into the bar. She said,"Streak, we're going. Sandstorms coming in, and I want to reach the outcroppings before it gets too far along."
The cowpony, Braeburn, said, "What? Y'all can't be serious! storms out 'der 'ill get ya 'urt."
Plow snorted and retorted, "I think we can manage."
" No, ya won't. " Suddenly, a goofy grin came across his face. "Ah know! Y'al could stay for supper and ride out the storm! I'd be our pleasure."
Plow seemed to consider. She then shrugged and said, "Ok. You probably have a better house then I do, and definitely Streak. So, that and a hot meal don't sound to bad. Sure."
Pinkies mane once more got poofy. She yelled, "Yay! Sleepover party!" This eleisited several reactions from the others in the saloon. Fluttershy stopped crying (as heavily) and nodded weakly. Spike and the others soon got over their sadness too, and began to talk with either Braeburn or, in Twilights case, Plow. But, no one noticed Voids reaction. She widened her eyes, and lightly groaned.
Uh-oh.
Stats
Page generated in 0.036 seconds
Total duration
953 users online
414,906 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
...I call bullshit on Rainbow being replaced. It shouldn't have been that easy. Or at all possible if she was still alive. Even if the Element of Loyalty was cracked, it would still have been bonded to her. They would have had to forcefully sever that bond.
9043296 I fully agree.
This is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read.
The memory-erase thing Celestia came up with was bad enough, but this is even dumber as a plot-device.
I know the author is trying to put the premise of Dash's complete alienation from her friends, country and rulers out there, but this?
This is totally lame AND unbelievable.
Mainly because it's MY belief that it's the Elements that choose their Bearers, and NOT the other way around.
Which is why it's hard for me to swallow that only two or three months after the Mane 5's and Celestia's stupidity, the Element of Loyalty would just up and bond with another pony.
And with Flash "Brad" Sentry of all ponies?!
Please.
Cut me a break.
9043296
Unless the element itself believes RD is dead.
9043296
Well, have you read the stories 'the lunar apprentice ' and/or 'night terrors'? In those, Dash was still alive but wasn't the element of loyalty. This was because, even though she was still a very loyal individual, it wasn't to her friends. Because of this, she was no longer the element, that role being given to shining armor. But I'm getting sidetracked. The point is, this is a similar principal; Dash, or now Streak, has changed so much and is no longer loyal to her friends, that her being the element is just not possible. If you want, I can make a side-story about how Flash became the element.
9043337
The problem with you using those stories as a defense? THE PONY DOESN'T CHOOSE THE ELEMENT, THE ELEMENT CHOOSES THE PONY! This is a fact that has been established in the SHOW CANON. Sure, you could argue that she isn't being loyal to her friends, but with how you have already written events, THEY WERE DISLOYAL FIRST!!! So Rainbow had a valid reason for not remaining loyal to them, and thus the Element wouldn't just give up on her because she chose to no longer be their friend. And no, a side-story detailing how Flash became the Element of Loyalty would feel just as shoehorned as him being the Element.
9043359
Look, I get that your mad. But, I didn't want to make an OC to fill that role. Plus, there are plenty of stories with dash breaking the element of loyalty because her friends more-or-less stabbed her in the back. It wasn't her fault, it's theirs; both here, and in those ones. But it happens still. Point being, even if the element wouldn't just up and leave in its own because dash isn't loyal to her friends, it would as she has more or less died. She has changed quite a lot, to where she isn't loyal. Look, Who else would you have me use? If someone can come up with a better character (Not an OC) for this role, I will edit them into it. Plus, if it's such an issue, write your own damn story!
9043382
You overlooked the even simpler solution to the problem of Rainbow no longer being the Bearer of Loyalty: DON'T HAVE ANYPONY REPLACE HER. At least not yet.
And I'm not mad, I'm more mildly disappointed that this story went the way of "Shoehorn a character who has literally only had a supporting role, and whose pony form is on screen for less than five minutes, total." He literally hasn't shown up in Equestria past the first Equestria Girls movie. I get you needed to have Rainbow replaced for story purposes, but I think it would have worked better if the rest of the Mane 6 were still struggling to find a new bearer; 2-3 months just seems way too short a grieving period for them to move on.
Once again, I'm not angry. I just feel like this chapter and the plot as a whole would have served better if we were seeing more of how losing Rainbow had impacted her former friends, instead of Rainbow already being replaced as the Element of Loyalty.
9043399
Ok, I get where your coming from. I personally aren't as happy with this chapter as the others, so I'll take it down soon for some editting. Should work out for the better. Thank you for your feedback.
9043410
You're welcome. Sorry if I came off as angry.
9043417
Ok, I updated the chapter. Should be better. Once more, thanks about the feedback. I needed that.
9044188
I like it! I think it flows better than originally.
Glad you changed it. I never said the original but that would have caused me to drop this story of unchanged.
As much as I love Lunar Apprentice I hate the sequel and that was one of the reasons.
Plow is best ponie, yes Fluttershys stare got denied.
9043296
I agree with you even if I haven't finished this chapter yet.
If they simply replaced her, then why trying to erase her memory and all that shit?, I really need some kind of big act of revenge later in this story.
oh god she is just a pony who wasn't talk to you.
Sooo.....she needs to tell Plow that she told them she can't speak, I haven't noticed it yet that she was really replaced and the main six can't take a no when they tell them she doesn't wants to speak with them.
9043327
Did it happen or did it not happened?, I mean them getting a replacement? For a second I thought they where just talking about Breaburn, but Flash Sentry, that's a nightmare.
Why do they not even recognize her anymore`?, she is just missing a buttmark.
9043382
While I don't really want to interfere with your discussion, I got the image that if the element is demanding her to stay loyal to her friends even when all of them did something like that, I would call them "the elements of suffering", mostly because it would probably be a psychological pain for Rainbow. Maybe you should just use the alternate universe tag or something. (I saw you do that already).
Oh and i'm not sure how to explain it, but first they tried to force Rainbow into staying the element and then they managed to simply replace her, why the effort to do terrible things to her then.
9044231
ssooo....I was right when I thought I didn't noticed what was mentioned in the comments?
I guess I got confused by the comments and thought I missed something again.
---------------------------------
Well if youi know you changed this and that already, then you only need to react to the stuff from my comment that is actually still in the chapter.
It feels like a silly thing to ask, but they can't recognize her because?