Crystal had been drumming her claws against the steel table for a good half hour now, for a so called criminal who knew the whereabouts of a close friend of a group of ponies called ‘the bearers of harmony’ or some such nonsense, they sure were taking their sweet time in getting someone to question her.
Back in that pony town, Appleloosa as Artair called it, everything had gone to Tartarus in a hand basket incredibly quickly when that changeling showed up; Crystal had seen a lot during her career as a Paragon but the spell that was cast on them, that was a new one.
Crystal couldn’t be too mad though, they had certainly put up a good fight. She had lasted a surprisingly long time against two powerful leaders, came pretty close to taking one down too, but when that same cloud that had taken away Dylan and Mia’s powers surrounded her it was all over. Luckily by that point Artair was long gone, hopefully to regroup and think up their next move; she wouldn’t hold it against them if they decided to leave them behind and get to the Vlemm enclave, Artair was an important asset so it would be natural that they’d want to get him home as soon as possible before plotting a rescue mission.
Crystal stared directly at the ‘mirror’ against one of the walls. She couldn’t see it but he knew that some creature was watching her from the other side, just waiting for her to do something but she wasn’t giving them the satisfaction.
The feral dragon lord and the changeling king had them all quickly restrained but it wouldn’t have made much of a difference considering they had been deprived of their auras. The ‘bearers of harmony’ arrived soon after looking pretty angry. A firm backhand, or rather backhoof, to her now bruised cheek by the blue one had only confirmed that these were the same ponies that they had seen back in the city. Thankfully the purple one had prevented the rest of the group from doing anymore damage to them, on the other hand she did use her authority as a princess to have them all arrested and shipped off to Canterlot for interrogation. Crystal had sat in a cell overnight only to be stripped of her clothes and her weapons before being brought into the room she was currently sitting in which brings us to the here and now.
The door next to the fake mirror opened up and the purple alicorn that had them detained sat down in the chair across from her with a stone faced expression.
‘Doesn’t want to look weak or she just doesn’t want me to see the cards just yet. I can work with this’ thought Crystal
Before she could get a single word out Crystal interrupted “so what is this? Are you going to torture me for information now? I’ve always found myself partial to racks but I’ll have whatever’s good. Or is this going to be one of these therapy sessions where we talk about how my father never loved me until you trick me into giving away vital info? Don’t bother, if you think even for a second that I’m going to betray my friends you are sorely mistaken.”
Twilight was taken aback by the bluntness of the statement but nevertheless maintained her composure.
“Actually I wanted to know more about the noble dragons.”
“Ah so the therapist route, alright I’ll bite. What do you wanna know?” said Crystal, putting her feet atop the table.
“Who are you? Be truthful.”
“I’m Crystal. Greatest archer amongst the noble dragons, you saw how good of a shot I was back in that city didn’t you?” replied the blue dragon
“That was you?!” said Twilight, her composure having gone completely out the window “what in the name of Celestia did you spray us with?”
“A specially designed tear gas, harmless to reptiles like me but incredibly potent against mammals like you. Now ask me something that matters, or do you wanna keep going on twenty questions?” replied Crystal.
Twilight glared at the dragon “okay smart alec, where are your friends taking Spike?”
“Spike who?” said Crystal, playing dumb.
“Spike the baby dragon you kidnapped!” shouted Twilight.
“Oh you mean Artair. And as for kidnapping? We didn’t kidnap anyone, little buddy came with us out of his own free will.” said Crystal.
“You expect me to believe that?”
“No not really, you seem like a pretty stubborn pony who tends to focus too much on small details to see the big picture until it’s too late.” replied Crystal, tone taking a serious turn.
“I AM NOT A- no, you aren’t going to get the better of me.” said Twilight, calming herself down with Cadence’s breathing technique “still haven’t answered my question though, where are they taking him?”
“The Vlemm enclave, where all the noble dragons live.”
“And where is that?” asked Twilight
“Can’t answer that princess, it’s the biggest secret of my clan.” said Crystal “don’t even try to torture it out of me, I’ve got an iron will when it comes to that.”
Twilight searched Crystal’s face for any signs of fear or weakness, something that would imply that she isn’t so tough as she puts herself out as but there was nothing but pure confidence in her appearance mixed in with a bit of mockery. It was clear she couldn’t force it out of her at all.
“Fine, those weapons we saw in Baltimare, where did you get them?”
“Why? You want some of them? Sorry, but if you have to ask you can’t afford to ask.” replied crystal “but seriously though, we didn’t get them anywhere. Our local gearhead Griffith made them, along with a million other pieces that make our lives so much easier. Guy’s a real brainiac”
Twilight’s bookish side slowly began to overshadow her mother-bear instincts the moment Crystal talked about ‘new technologies’, to know that there was such an advanced society out there in the world; Twilight couldn’t help but get a little bit curious
“Like what?” said the princess of friendship, the force in her tone lessening.
Crystal smiled ‘misdirection, works every time.’ she thought to herself.
“Well let’s start off with the father cubes, small clawheld devices that can do tons of stuff for us….”
*********************************
Just a few rooms over Dylan was being questioned by Applejack and Rainbow dash in a ‘good-cop, bad-cop’ role respectively, which mostly comprised of Applejack holding Dash down everytime she tried to take a shot at the dragon.
“I’m gonna ask you again, where is Spike?!” shouted Dash, shoving her muzzle right up against Dylan’s
“And I’m telling you again, you aren’t getting anything out of me period. I would rather die being loyal to my friends than live as a traitor.” replied Dylan.
Rainbow Dash’s only response was to grab ahold of Dylan’s head with both of her hooves and slam it down onto the metal table as hard as she possibly could
Dylan sat dazed for a few moments before shaking off the blow “oh come on, you never start with the head, it makes the victim all woozy. They won’t be able to feel the next-”
He stopped right as the wonderbolt slammed one of her forehooves down on one of his hands. Only for the yellow dragon to shrug at her effort.
“See? Didn’t even notice that one. Even if I did, doesn’t matter; You can beat me as much as you bloody want, but you’ll never be able to break me. Artair will remain unfound and there is nothing you can do about it, you selfish morons.” said Dylan.
“Selfish?! Yer callin us selfish?” said Applejack, barely managing to get Dash to calm back down again.
“Yes I am. I see a group of ponies who are refusing to let go of the past because they are afraid of change in their world, I see ponies who are preventing a dragon from achieving his true potential because they want to keep him enslaved, I see ponies who have not for even a single moment considered their so called friend’s feelings in this whole affair. Worse still, you don’t even have the guts to fight us like true warriors; instead you hide behind a changeling king and a dragon lord while they do the dirty work for you. So not only are you selfish, but cowardly as well.” Dylan spat.
“OH YOU ARE GONNA GET IT!” shouted Rainbow Dash, only to be held back by her farmer friend.
“Dash cut it out! You’re only givin him what he wants, just go outside, get some fresh air, and calm down. Ah’ll handle this.
Seeing that Applejack wasn’t gonna let her deliver a much deserved beatdown, Rainbow Dash let out a huff and flew out of the room.
“Hmm. darn shame there.” said Dylan
“What do you mean?” asked Applejack
“The circumstances I mean. If they were different I may have been great friends with that pegasus, lot of admirable qualities in her: tough, headstrong, doesn’t take flak from anyone, and above all else loyal to those she cares about, almost to a fault; though her aggression and ego are two glaring weaknesses.”
“Yeah, tell me about it.” said Applejack. “Anywho, back to business.”
“How many times do I have to say that my lips are sealed?!” said Dylan
“That ain’t what ah’m after mister….”
“Dylan, my name’s Dylan.”
“Right Dylan, what ah wanna know is why ya’ll even want Spike in the first place?”
“Well it’s more his parents who want him, but regardless of that…..” Dylan swallowed some of his spit “he is the destined savor of our people, the soul of all noble dragons, he will help us rise again and take back all that is rightfully ours from those who have stolen it.” said Dylan
“Spike?”
“No, his name is Artair and that’s only what the prophecy says; honestly I don’t believe in all that fate and destiny garbage, the path you walk in life is forged by you and you alone, not any other worldly forces. But hey, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see where Artair paves out his road.” said dylan. “Oh and don’t ask me about the prophecy, that is on a need to know basis.”
“Okay but why take him by force, ya could have jus asked us.” said the farmer pony
“In case you haven’t noticed, we noble dragons aren’t exactly the most social creatures; at least when it comes to the other kingdoms. We like to keep our affairs very discreet, hidden from the world, nobody knows we exist and we’d prefer it stay that way. If we came up front and told you about the noble dragons and how Artair factored in, it would make a domino effect through the world and we’d never have a moment’s peace ever again. Besides, given how you’ve all acted so far I’m not particularly inclined to believe that you would have all just handed him over to us.” replied Dylan.
“Really? Even though you’ve been the ones attacking us?” said Applejack
Dylan threw his head back and let out a loud cackle, one that was half-sincere and half-sarcastic but all insulting.
“Oh don’t try to play the victim here” said Dylan, venom lacing his tone. “In almost every case we’ve told you to back off, to just leave us be, and everytime you try to fight us anyways; are we just supposed to let you beat us up? We’ve got to defend ourselves, sure we’ve gone a bit overboard a couple times but who hasn’t? All this anger, it’s a bit uncalled for; I mean have we actually done anything to hurt Artair so far? I know he can send you letters, we didn’t know about that before, so couldn’t he have just let you know he was in trouble?”
Applejack tried to think up a response, a way to justify their behavior so far, to tell herself she was doing the right thing; but Dylan did raise a pretty good point, if Spike was in trouble, couldn’t he have just sent a note? Were they really in the wrong here?
No, no they weren’t
“that doesn’t change what happened in Baltimare, all those ponies ya’ll hurt!”
Dylan frowned, then sighed “would it help if I said I was sorry?”
Applejack froze, that was not the response she was expecting; she thought he would have defended his friend’s actions, not apologize for them
“I mean we really didn’t want it to come to that, the plan was just to scoop our friends up and head on. But then you pinned them down and Crystal decided to take action, sure she could have handled it better in at least a dozen ways but she didn’t really have time to think, her friends were in danger after all” Dylan looked up at Applejack “you can say whatever the Tartarus you want about us noble dragons, but if nothing else we are loyal to our allies until the very end, I would gladly fight and die for my friends and they would return the favor in a heartbeat. Which is why I’m not going to let my guard down and give away where they are, just because you’re being nice to me. I refuse to be a traitor.”
“Ya caught onto that?” said the orange earth pony
“Uh, hello? Getting in close to the victim, putting them at ease, before popping the magic question that screws them over is a classic interrogation technique. That is like first year Garda stuff.” said Dylan, “anyway since you’ve failed miserably to get anything out of me, who’s next?”
Applejack didn’t say a word, instead she simply opted to calmly walk out of the room before she did something she would seriously regret.
***************************
In the third and final room was Mia and Pinkie Pie (who had moved from anger to bargaining), the two were stuck in an endless feedback loop.
“Tell me where Spike is!” said Pinkie
“I don’t wanna.” replied Mia
“Where’s Spike?”
“I dunno”
“Do you know where Spike is?”
“Maaaayyybe yes, maaaayyybe no.”
“Then tell me where Spike is!” said the pink party pony
This had been going on for a good-half hour now, supervised by Rarity who believed that Pinkie Pie could merely annoy a confession out the dragon like she did with everyone else; what she failed to account for was a dragon that was as upbeat and bubbly as the party pony, making her immune to Pinkie’s ‘techniques’.
Rarity was about to try and close the loop her friend was caught in, but Pinkie beat her to it.
“Enough! This is getting us nowhere, how about this; if you tell us where Spike is I’ll make you my super duper, ultra secret, mind blowing cupcakes!” said Pinkie.
“Hmmmm” said Mia in mock consideration “no thanks, I’m more of a cookie kind of gal, cake is just plain gross”
And there it goes…..
Mia just said what one should never ever say to Pinkie Pie’s face, lest you face her wrath.
“W-what?” stuttered Pinkie Pie.
“I said I don’t like cake, never have and never will.”
Pinkie Pie pulled out a dictionary from her mane and began to flip through it
“Those words! Is it possible to use them together in a sentence like that!”
“I hate cake! I hate cake! I hate cake!” repeated Mia
“YOU HATE CAKE?! No wonder you all act so mean all the time” Pinkie then materialized out a chocolate cupcake out of thin air and shoved it into the dragon’s face “here! Try it!”
Mia slapped the cupcake out of Pinkie’s hoof, the sweet treat landing on the with an audible splat, “get that out of my face! I said no!”
Pulling out another cupcake, this time vanilla “try it and you’ll love it!”
“I’ve had cake before! Hated every minute of it!”
“But you haven’t had a Pinkie Pie cake! Come on just one little-” Pinkie stopped when a white hoof fell onto her shoulder.
“Pinkie, darling. I think there are more important matters at hand than whether or not a dragon likes cupcakes, remember?” said Rarity
“Oh yeah! Tell me where Spike-” Pinkie was cut off once again by the same hoof of her fashionista friend.
“Let’s try another approach, shall we?” said Rarity, gently pushing the pink earth pony away and daintily situating herself on the chair across from Mia
“Aw. But I was having so much fun with her!” protested Mia
“You’re not here to have fun. You’re here to tell us where my little Spikey-Wikey is.”
Mia had to physically snuff out a giggle fit “Spikey-Wikey? That’s what you call him? Oh I am so gonna use that next time I see him, that is like the cutest nickname ever! Still doesn’t change the fact that I don’t know where he is and if I did, I wouldn’t tell you”
“Well perhaps there’s something that could jog your memory?” said Rarity, fluttering her eyelashes
“What do you mean?”
“Well we have plenty of valuable things to offer in exchange for Spike, perhaps we can come to an agreement of sorts; bring the rest of your dragon friends in on the deal too, hmmm?”
Mia started at Rarity, her face gradually twisting into an expression of disgust.
“That is so gross!” said Mia “sure I like to party, but not like that!
“What?” Replied Rarity in confusion
“And cutting my friends in? You little deviant, how dare you!” Said Mia, anger slowly increasing in her voice
“What are you talking about?”
“Look lady, while I’m flattered that you’re offering yourself up like that I’m afraid I just don’t play for that team.” Explained Mia
Rarity though over the dragon’s exclamation, trying to figure out what she had said to offend her in such a way. When it finally hit her, the fashionista’s eyes nearly sunk into the back of her head.
“NO NO,OH SWEET CELESTIA NO! THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT AT ALL, I MEANT WE COULD PAY YOU WITH GEMS OR ANYTHING ELSE YOU MIGHT WANT FOR SPIKE! NOT THAT!” Rarity sputtered out.
The fire in Mia’s eyes quickly returned at that statement “oh so now you think I’m some cheap feral who would sell out her friends for some shiny rocks?”
“Well I-“
“You what? You assumed that just because I’m a dragon that makes me a greedy backstabbing jerk who only cares about themselves? Well let me tell you, we noble dragons aren’t anything like that, we actually care about each other and would do anything to project our own. The fact that you think I would be willing to betray them at the drop of a hat just makes me sick. Get out, we’re done here.” said Mia.
“But-” protested Pinkie
“I SAID GET OUT!” screamed Mia.
The two ponies quickly jumped up and ran out of the room, leaving mia alone.
The red dragon plopped back down in her chair, a look of disgust remaining on her face.
“Friggin ponies, magic and friendship my butt. That was totally out of line there.” muttered Mia “the others had better bust us out of here sometime soon.”
************************************
A dead silence hung in the war room of the Violet Dawn; the fact that the airship even had it’s own war room had greatly surprised Spike.
They were all sitting next to each other around the large circular table with all but three of the chairs being occupied by a dragon and everyone there knew who should have been sitting there.
Once they had gotten the ship a safe distance away from the scene as not to be spotted, Saphria called an emergency meeting of the Paragons to consider their next move; of course she failed to account for the difficulty on her teammates part in addressing the elephant in the room, so they had just sat there without saying so much as a word, quietly mulling over any ideas they could throw onto the table.
“Alright I’ll say it: what do you think our next move should be?” said Griffith.
“Well let’s consider the situation: three of our friends have been captured by princess Celestia’s allies and have been taking to an undisclosed location for interrogations or torture, both of which would be pointless as we all know that Crystal, Dylan, and Mia wouldn’t betray us under any circumstance, correct?”
Everyone nodded except for Spike
“Well actually, I think I know where they’ve been taken.” said the baby dragon
“You do?” replied Saphria
“Yeah, apart from Tartarus there’s only one other place in equestria I know that ponies take dangerous creatures like them for interrogations: Canterlot Castle.” replied Spike
“THE Canterlot Castle, residence of Princess Celestia and Luna? Possibly one of the most heavily guarded areas on the planet?”
“Oh...that isn’t good is it?” said the baby dragon
Yam sighed “well it’s far from ideal, I can safely assume that the purple alicorn will be there along with the dragon lord and changeling king you told us about which makes for a total of five powerful beings we’d have to contend with, on their home turf nonetheless. Furthermore there are likely numerous royal guard squads on constant patrol, they’ll be on the lookout for us. To top it off, even if our friends are being held there we have no prior knowledge of the castle’s layout, if we were to rescue them we’d be running in there blind.”
“So what are you proposing Yam?” said Saphria.
“Our mission was to retrieve Artair at any and all costs and return him to the Vlemm enclave, as much as I hate to say it: Dylan, Mia, and Crystal fall under a cost. We’ll have to leave them for the time being until we can muster enough force and intel to mount a rescue mission.” said Yam
Silence engulfed the room again, Yam wasn’t wrong by any means: there was too much risk in charging into canterlot to rescue their friends, they would likely all be captured by the opposing force and their mission would meet a complete and utter failure; but on the other hand, they were noble dragons, could they really just abandon their friends like this when they needed them?
“I can see you are a bit reluctant to go along with this so how about we put this to a vote? I put mine in for heading straight home.”
“Seconded” said Connor “I love those guys like family but if we get caught there’s nothing we can do to help em’, as long as we come back later I’d be fine with leaving them for now.”
“No.” said Saphria “we go after them, we’re noble dragons; we always watch out for our own, through thick and thin, come Tartarus or high water. I swore an oath to protect my clan when I joined the Paragons and I am not about to break it.”
“I’m with Saphi, no dragon left behind; sure it’s a tough spot but we’ve gotten out of worse before right? We’re the friggin Paragons! We’ll find a way in, one way or another. Plus we have no idea what those ponies are doing to them, Mia, Crystal, and Dylan might be being tortured as we speak!” added Griffith.
“That’s two for rescue and two for retreat. So I suppose the decision comes to you Artair” said Yam, turning towards the prince “should we stay or go?”
Spike looked between the two sides, both starting at him with anticipation without a hint of malice or intimidation; this made Spike ease up, knowing that no matter what he picked the rest of the group would respect his decision regardless.
Taking a breath in, Spike readied his explanation.
“Guys I’ve lived amongst ponies my whole life and during that time I’ve learned alot of things, laughed and cried, loved and lost, traveled to where and back again, but after it all the one thing that has stuck with me has been friendship. I learned that true friendship can move mountains, force dark forces back from whence they came, and give you a second chance at life; as long as it’s pure in your hearts. I’ve only been with you guys for a few weeks but I can see that you guys are really close, maybe even more so than twilight and her friends and I know that if it was them in this situation they wouldn’t hesitate to rescue each other; so I say that we get our friends back, I know we can do it!” said Spike, ending with gusto.
“Yeah!”
“Very well, how do you want to approach this?” said Yam, trying to mask the fear in her voice.
“Well what are our options?” asked the baby dragon
Saphria rubbed her chin “hmmm. I’ve seen this sort of mission before and find that one of two approaches tend to be the most effective: smart and quiet or loud and dumb.”
The ninja dragon grabbed a stylus and began to write on the digital screen that took up one of the walls.
“In the quiet approach we’d learn the guard patrols and the layout of the castle, carving out an attack plan based upon that; once complete, we’d carefully and precisely move into the castle, free Dylan, Mia, and Crystal and then move back out without any creature seeing us.” explained Saphria
“But if just one guard or ponies decides to defer from the plan, the whole thing gets derailed.” remarked Griffith.
“Exactly, it’s quick and clean but leaves no room for error, which brings me to loud and dumb: we study the castle to find any exploitable weak points such as where guards are in low quantity or the walls are thinner, once we find them we load up on weapons and charge straight at it, bowling over anyone in our way, yes it’s crude and carries a big risk but we can afford to make a lot more mistakes and if the blitz play works, they might not be able to catch us before we make our escape.”
“Actually” said Spike raising his claw into the air “I think I’ve got a better idea, I saw it in a movie once.”
“Oh this should be good” said Connor.
“Griffith, do you have any invisibility devices or something like that?”
“Five of them.”
“And anything that can counter magic?”
“What do I look like? An amature? Of course I do!”
“Good, you’ll need both. Along with anything else you might need to defend yourself, now Yam” the baby dragon turned towards the scholar “you’ll be with him on the diversion team.”
“Wait diversion team? What the heck are you planning Artair?” said Saphria.
“You see, I know we can’t face Celestia head on with either plan, so we’ll split up into two teams….”
It took Spike about a hour and a half with multiple diagrams to explain just how they were going to get Mia, Dylan, and Crystal out of Canterlot Castle, primarily because spike also had to tell them the whole castle layout and guard rotations (something he had inadvertently picked up during his Momlestia visits to Canterlot). But once it was all said and done there were mischievous smiles all around.
“This is so clever and devious, I’m honestly surprised a baby face like you can come up with something like this.” said Saphria.
“What can I say, you guys must be rubbing off on me.” replied Spike with a shrug.
“That just means you’re another step closer to becoming one of us Artair, now we’d better get started on the preparations for tomorrow. It’s gonna be a wild ride, I just hope it works.” said Griffith.
The group stood up and walked out the war room, all heading towards their various rooms to start their prep time for the next morning. With good reason too, after all:
It’s not everyday you try to pull off the prison break of the century in Canterlot.
Hmm I see the noble dragons are still self-righteous arrogant pricks as always though given you previously stated your going to tone them back I wonder what will shake them out of that, should be interesting.
..... Okay I will once again be the asshole or whatever but this is a review and as someone who has read every chapter I feel I can say how the story is going. And I think this wasn't a good chapter. We finally had a chapter where we got to see them LOSE something, we got to see them humbled and make them more down to earth. We got to start to like the Nobles even a LITTLE more. But literally we get the next chapter them acting, like they are untouchable, cocky, assholes, and overall like there is NOTHING that can touch them. I found it to be boring seeing them just dance around EVERYONE like they are children. They don't care or show any signs of just how big they have fucked up in this and it is like they know they will win no matter what anyone does. Twilight as well, one of if not THE greatest magic user in the world is sitting there and used no magic to get the information she needed, she was lead around like a child. Why are the rest of the girls even TALKING to them, they are not trained for this or anything. Celestia, Luna, or a trained interrogator should have been handling this. It just felt like 80% of this chapter didn't matter at all besides making the Noble dragons once again seem SOOOO cool and the greatest thing in the world.
Than this next part, I don't mind them decided to want to try to get back their friends. Sure that fit their whole thing. But they have EVERYTHING they need and ALL the information they could ever want. I mean I bet they even have the time every guard and the princesses go to the bathroom as well with the PERFECT future tech to get everything done just perfectly. I mean it just feel like once again we are going to witness the might and just overly greatness of the Nobles once again. Lets see if they will beat ALL the trained guards, the princesses, and Discord as well. Not to mention the Changling king who by NOW should have been teaching all the unicorns how to dispell auras making them MUCH weaker.
Which another thing that is driving me up the wall...... Spike. He is once again burning bridges with Equestria. He is now helping lead a attack on the ROYAL PALACE!!!!! To help break out convicted terrorist. He will be turning on the home he has known for years for people he has know for a week or so just because they keep telling him pretty things about his family. I mean my god, if he got to talk to his mother and father I could understand a BIT more. But no all these N.Dragons have shown him is very not good shit when it comes to his old life. They don't care about his old life, his old connections, his old family, his old friends. They show this from their actions, worlds and feelings. Spike HAS to be smart enough to see that all of this, what he is ABOUT to do is very bad. The N.Dragons are making countless enemies with this mission. One they know can shut down their power and he his a strong ally to Equestra at that. They spit slurs to Ember and their whole clan in front of him and he doesn't blink at it. I just cant stand this Spike. He doesn't care. .... He threw it all away, for a wish of something, his new friends have put their kinds very way of life at risk by this. I mean they think Twilight, Celestia, Luna, Candence, Discord, Starlight, and Starswirl CAN'T get into the mind of some dragons or even IF somehow not that cover them in more spells than anyone can count to find them, track them, or any number of things since they have some of them. But the biggest this is just Spike, his weakness, failure as a friend, as a family member, at really alot of things is the spark that has caused all of this.
Honestly I want to see what the N.Dragon leaders have to say when they hear this. Going against the mission again to cause even more tension and possible a all out war with them outnumbered yet again. But I get the feeling this team will just get a slap on the wrist, have a mission turn into this kind of shit storm on a epic scale and even take it to this level but I just find it hard to see their leaders doing ANYTHING to punish them. Hell I think the leaders by this point would honestly be like fuck it and have a meeting with Celestia face to face even in private neutral ground to talk about this and stop what could very well be a world war because of THEIR CHILDREN. Because lets face it their whole, keep secret, way of life is gone and ruined now. The world knows about them and has a VERY VERY bad viewpoint of them as threats and brutes. Which the whole shit they spouted about what they hope Spike to do sound SOOOOO much like some cult shit. Hell the N.Dragon's honestly are sound more and more Nazi-ish as time does on and that ISN'T at good thing to me lol.
9218555
I'm gonna level with you here. This was probably the hardest chapter for me to write because I've got very little experience in interrogation scenes, most of what I write I loosely model after other examples I've seen in various media forms but since I've seen so few memorable interrogation scenes I didn't have alot to go on. I tried to maintain the tone of the last chapter in the interrogations but halfway through I realized there was no way to write it without them coming off as jerks again, so I just said 'f*ck it' and went along with it. I can't blame you for saying this was a bad chapter, it was one of my worse ones.
as for spike's plan, it's never implied that it will be a direct attack. This is spike we're talking about, his plan will involve something much more tame that minimizes the possible collateral damage that will be incured, he doesn't want either of his friend groups to get hurt more than they already have.
I'm trying to make the noble dragons more likable, really I am but the hole I've dug them into is pretty deep
P.S. I'm planning on a third story for this, if I can't make the noble dragons likeable by the end of this. I will in the next story.
9218671
-sigh- I get it, I do. Once you have set a tone for a group of characters it is really hard to change that. Even more so when.... well to be frank it is just your inner feelings for the characters. I get that I do, I thin showing some more struggle with them is something that might help. Them being cocky and brash as you have been writing them is how you express them changing that would be very hard to do. But making it where they DON'T always win, or win easily or we see that that attitude has some huge draw back and they are now paying for that would help us see that greatly.
Or make Spike be MORE vocal, I mean yea everyone is 'friends' of Spike. But deep down I don't get his strong commitment to them like this. Even if you use Thorax as a example of how quickly be bonds they have shown two very different ways of being. Thorax didn't want to hurt anyone and wanted to get along. The Nobles as shown that to very much not be the case by their action. Have him be more expressive about defending the people who I personally feel he should have a much stronger bond with. Have him show that yea he is friends with the Nobles and they are saying they will take him to see his family but he DOES already have a family and he doesn't want to lose them. Show him conflicted over this choice he have made and all the pain and trouble it has cause because of his actions. It would add some real depth to Spike and show that he isn't throwing away his old life for some promise he hasn't seen any return from yet. Really get into that internal struggle he would be going through.
Make the ponies not seem as weak and stupid would help as well. I get it you deep down, even if you don't want to admit it, want to build up your OCs. But making people feel like you are trashing or diminish the canon stars of this series isn't going to help with making people fall in love with the story. The N.Dragon's can't dance circles around them all the time and feel like they are so much better than everyone. That takes many out of the story and make the N.Dragons come off as tools, at least to me.
I think one big BIG thing would be to show that the N.Dragons we have seen DON'T speak or represent their whole race fully. Really show that these are still roughly teenagers and they messed up this mission big time. People liked seeing the Leaders scold them. And many feel they deserved it. I think that is needed. This mission has had some massive blowback and seeing that addressed and not in a positive way really spoke to at least me. It showed that the Noble dragon's aren't assholes that think what they are doing in this mission are right. Have them scold them for calling Ember and her dragon's feral like they are a bunch of animals, they follow the old ways sure but for example if you read the comic Ember's dragons HAVE culture AND a city and things, what we saw in the episodes wasn't their capital but a place they hold events. Hell the Dragons have a whole district in Fillydelphia, call canon. Show that what we have seen doesn't speak for them as a hole and these are just some kids who still have alot of growing to do and got way in over their heads on this mission. Have there be some real punishment for these actions since they now have risk everything the N.Dragon's stand for.
But BUT this is also a really REALLY big chance to put more on Spike. He knows or at least after he finally start to think this all through, would know that this whole event has caused some major tension and possibly a potential war. That he, as the bridge between the two sides, MUST step up. Must do what he can to ease the feelings on both sides or else lives could be lost.
These are just some of the ideas or thoughts that I think would at least to me make this story easier to enjoy and make the N.Dragon's not be so unlikeable.
9218706
THANK YOU, that is exactly what I needed to hear.
you're a hundred percent right, I was on the right track in appleloosa assault and I should go back to that. I do already have a plan for spike to stop all the fighting and I can line up a few more 'humbling' moments for the noble dragons (now that I think about it I have sort of placed them on a pedestal which is never good for an OC.) and the inner turmoil is an angle I've never considered yet but should definately pursue.
unfortunately as for the Noble dragons calling ember's clan 'ferals'...that is sort of a key aspect of the noble dragons: dragons like ember are the reason the noble dragons lost their homes in the first place and had so many of their members pointlessly slaughtered, they would naturally hold a grudge; add in the fact that they've lived in almost complete isolation from the rest of the world for a millennia makes them a bit out of touch with current affairs (they don't know who the new elements of harmony are) and pretty xenophobic, less out of hatred and more out of a lack of trust.
regardless, you've never really been an A**hole critic. I need harsh and brutal criticism, I need people to point out the flaws in my stories so I can fix them, yes it hurts but it's the only way I'll get any better as a writer. Your comments are always my favorite because it makes for great debate points while also making me re-think certain aspects of my story and making them better.
so again, THANK YOU.
9218723
I think the tension between the Noble and the Badlands IS understandable for sure. And of course some teens who have been raised their whole life to hate these group of people would lash out once they meet them. This issue tho is a major and interesting thing you will really need to play with tho. I mean the N. Dragon's did what they did to protect themselves yes, but like you said it also cut them off from the world. They don't know about how things have and are changing. They don't know about how the Badland dragons have change and are changing even more under Ember's rule. They still have their old views that they have been building on this whole time. But the interesting thing is that we got to see more of how the N.Dragons also think of what Spike will do. They believe he will lead them to victory over the Badland dragons and take back their home and put them back in charge. BUT Spike wouldn't, or at least this pre-brainwashed Spike would never do that. He knows those dragons are changing for the better. He has Friends with them now. Ember and the more he visit and act as their diplomat the more he get to know them. Not to mention like I said they even have their own district they live in a major pony city. The Nobles will want something or have this built up idea of what Spike will do but it goes against all he believes in and that is a major internal conflict between Spike and the Nobles we will have to see really played with down the road when it really comes up. Also we will HAVE to see that the Badland dragons ARE something of a threat to the Nobles are at least they can be.
I kept thinking that the Badland are just naturally physically tougher than the Nobles, they tend to be more magic base than pure power. It would make more sense with number and just their brute strength they could have taken out so many Nobles when it has kinda been set up that the nobles at this moment in the story are really op.
9218751
well ember was able to go toe to toe with dylan, the only reason he lasted as long as he did was because he tried to keep her at a distance; he knew that horde dragons were physically stronger and strategized around that.
I will address the relationship between the horde dragons and the noble dragons eventually but not here and not now.
as for the prophecy, while it does say that spike will help the noble dragons rise again and take back what was stolen from them; it never specifies HOW he'll do this, he could do it violently or he could take the pacifist route, it's pretty much up in the air right now.
one last thing, in the third story I'm going to do a slight recon on the lore so that spike gets his wings and leaves before the events of the mlp movie so that he can develop a sort of mentor bond with the young six. thoughts?
Smart and dumb that will interesting can’t wait to he wait he plans and if it will work or not
If the main OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?
Seriously, if they actually succeed in this, that's just too perfect. At that point, they are just a bunch of Gary and Mary sues.
Why am I worried that Spike is going to have to confront Twilight at some point and something hurtful will be said to her...
Did the Nobles dragons have any intention of letting Spike go back to Equestria after he meets his parents?
I'm worried about the end result, that's all. Hopefully Spike can be a part of Both Worlds and not have to choose between the Vlemn enclave and Equestria
9218804
think of them like this
griffith = doctor who (the 10th doctor)
dylan = roranora zoro (one piece funimation dub)
saphria = wonder woman (animated justice league)
yam = teri (the amazing world of gumball)
connor = keanu reeves (bill and ted's excellent adventures version)
mia = Vanellope von Schweetz (wreck it ralph)
cobalt = michael caine
that's what they all sound like
9218751
There is a thought that Spike and find some way for the two groups to make peace all his years under Twilight tutoring and him being the Diplomat of the Dragon lands I'm sure he'll find some way to bring peace between the noble dragons and the feral dragons it's what he does that's help promote Harmony Spike wouldn't let himself be brainwashed into thinking that ember is the True Villain and to help Conquering the dragon lands and thus betraying his friends. Of that I am certain.
9218995
once spike completed his training on the vlemm enclave he'd be allowed to visit equestira and, by extent, his friends anytime he wanted but his permanent residence would still be on the enclave
9219027
Yikes I can assume that won't sit well with Twilight him no longer being allowed to live with her. Why would he HAVE to though? Obligation? Its necessary? He needs to guard the enclave for good?
Sorry, that's a little too plot revealing isn't it.
9219046
his training is going to encompass FIVE YEARS, in that time he'll grow pretty close to both the paragons and his biological family; twilight would be able to let go in that time frame. plus being the son of the leader of the vlemm enclave means that he is next in line for the throne, he has to stay out of obligation for his people.
9219131
Ok, Will he and twilight and the Mane 6 still be friends? You said he was allowed to visit right?
9219163
of course he will, forever and always. they were his first friends after all
though after the time skip they do have to get used to seeing their former baby dragon as a muscle bound bada**
9219174
XD, thanks for curing my doubts
One more thing although if you don't want to answer this out of risk for spoiling the story you don't have to
but
Does Spike ultimately put Twilight's worries to rest and she's able to let go for five years or does he openly get to the Enclave and she's left searching, worried and in distress for a few years over whether or not spike is okay?
9219187
sorry, but if I tell you how this story ends then it loses the suspense; you'll just have to wait and see how things play out
9219228
Mk
have anyone considered of making the "noble dragons" as anti-hero??????
Please tell me they'll be able to rescue the other dragons without getting caught?
9218555
9218671
9218706
Once again, Dragonpony verbalises some of my thoughts pretty well.
I gotta say, I didn't like Rainbow torturing Dylan. She doesn't strike me as someone who'll kick you when you're down. She stands up to bullies. It feels too much like dragging the ponies down so the "Noble" dragons looks better in comparison. They run laps around the ponies in every single interrogation scene as is; every "Noble" dragon manages to one-up their pony counterpart in some way, shape, or form, so the ponies are once again weak, pathetic, incompetent.
Did Celestia tells Princess Twilight about what the "Noble" dragons threatened to do to countless innocent creatures? What Cobalt did? I do believe that would, should wipe away Crystal's smug attitude. But, maybe Twilight doesn't know about that yet.
At least Applejack's and Dylan's scene could have been different. Saphria started the hostilities. She threatened Rainbow Dash, she cut her legs open and then left her behind in the Everfree. So, when he says
she could have said as much. They, the dragons, started it. And as for him saying he's sorry about the Baltimare ponies?
"Like y'all said, we've fought several times now. After all you did, Ah don't think Ah'd believe you."
And let him stew on that.
No Discordian interference, hes probably just watching with some popcorn though
9218825
Did you forget the Twilight 7 episode in which spike literally manipulates everyone to do what he wants them to for the outcome he wants. Spike knows how to read a room how to tell what a person's going to do in the end Spike pulling this off would be because he is putting his manipulation abilities to work.
she hit the nail on the head.
You know, after all this time, I just now wondered if the story didn't use Fluttershy for an interrogation because she would actually have won here.
The one, the ONE power Fluttershy has, is to get others to open up to her. It won't work on threats like Discord, but on punks like the Supposed Noble Dragons? Probably wouldn't even need The Stare, to be honest. Just let her talk to one of them. It would've made a fine contrast to the other scenes. It would've shown the ponies actually have an advantage in some way, in this one situation. They get creamed so much when it's raw power verus power, so let's try soft power, and the NDs have proven to be incredibly bad at diplomacy. That could've been a weakness. Plus, real life interrogators make you trust them. They try to get in your head and flip you. They try to show they can help you get out of a pickle, if you help them first. That's Fluttershy if any of them. And the big thing with Fluttershy about that is that she actually does want to help others. Even pricks like the NDs.