You're not using enough periods, mate. That's the only thing only thing I could find wrong. Spelling, grammar, and sentence structure are perfect, just work on using periods more often.
"I'd Like some soap," he asked "I need to wash up to"
The L in Like shouldn't be capitalized and to should be too. You also need to start using more commas for the dialogue, before and after the speaker. For example,
"I'd Like some soap," he asked "I need to wash up to"
would be "I'd like some soap," he asked, "I need to wash up too."
Another example would be,
"Too good, I need a nap" Spike replied "But there's no way I'm sleeping anywhere near you without the proper protection"
, which should be, "Too good, I need a nap," Spike replied, "But there's no way I'm sleeping anywhere near you without the proper protection."
You only only need to add the commas in place of periods, question marks and exclamation points don't need a comma. For example,
"Shining." She said...
, should be "Shining," She said...
"YES!" as the two laughed
, is fine as there is an exclamation point, except for the part where you need to add a period at the end. The only time it's acceptable to put a period in the quote, is when the quote is what ends the sentence.
Other than punctuation, commas and periods, you seem to be doing well on the other categories like Mr. Skywalker has said. Besides the nitpicking, great chapter!
I'm pretty sure you already know this rule, but it's scattered around in your writing and inconsistent.
9296432 I appreciate the help and have fixed all the prementioned errors. And yeah, I write fast and mess up, but I'm getting better at slowing down and fixing my error's.
9296452 I appreciate the help and always will, anytime you see an error that's painfully obvious, feel free to get on to me about it, everyone makes mistakes, and I'm certainly no exception
I'm glad that this is still around--I was wondering when there was gonna be an update of this. And I have to say, that I really like that Spike's starting to have some attraction to Spitfire--particularly that Spitfire is starting to be the receipient of the flirting from Spike as opposed to the other way around. And I'm loving that Spitz is a bit bashful of it...
9298786 it nice to get a comment complimenting my story every now and again, and don't worry, I plan to have another chapter up before Thanksgiving (Maybe two chapters if I get hit with inspiration) And I hope you continue to enjoy the story
8892326 just so you know, if there was a way to feature a comment so it appeared at the top of the comment section at all time's it would be yours right here.
You're not using enough periods, mate. That's the only thing only thing I could find wrong. Spelling, grammar, and sentence structure are perfect, just work on using periods more often.
9296324
YES! I'm actually getting good at this! you get a follow just for informing me of that!
Wonder if Flurry would like Spitfire?
The L in Like shouldn't be capitalized and to should be too. You also need to start using more commas for the dialogue, before and after the speaker. For example,
would be "I'd like some soap," he asked, "I need to wash up too."
Another example would be,
, which should be, "Too good, I need a nap," Spike replied, "But there's no way I'm sleeping anywhere near you without the proper protection."
You only only need to add the commas in place of periods, question marks and exclamation points don't need a comma. For example,
, should be "Shining," She said...
, is fine as there is an exclamation point, except for the part where you need to add a period at the end. The only time it's acceptable to put a period in the quote, is when the quote is what ends the sentence.
Other than punctuation, commas and periods, you seem to be doing well on the other categories like Mr. Skywalker has said. Besides the nitpicking, great chapter!
I'm pretty sure you already know this rule, but it's scattered around in your writing and inconsistent.
9296432
I appreciate the help and have fixed all the prementioned errors. And yeah, I write fast and mess up, but I'm getting better at slowing down and fixing my error's.
9296447
The ones I mentioned were only a few from the stack. And I have to agree, you have been getting better. Keep up the progress and good work.
9296452
I appreciate the help and always will, anytime you see an error that's painfully obvious, feel free to get on to me about it, everyone makes mistakes, and I'm certainly no exception
nice chapter
I'm glad that this is still around--I was wondering when there was gonna be an update of this. And I have to say, that I really like that Spike's starting to have some attraction to Spitfire--particularly that Spitfire is starting to be the receipient of the flirting from Spike as opposed to the other way around. And I'm loving that Spitz is a bit bashful of it...
9298786
it nice to get a comment complimenting my story every now and again, and don't worry, I plan to have another chapter up before Thanksgiving (Maybe two chapters if I get hit with inspiration) And I hope you continue to enjoy the story
8892326
just so you know, if there was a way to feature a comment so it appeared at the top of the comment section at all time's it would be yours right here.
When will the next chapter come out
9443070
I'm gonna release it on my Birthday, just to make it special. so Expect it on the 19th
And when does your birthday land on
9443232
February 19
One week away
9443271
quick sidenote the Chapter is done, just in case that wasn't clear, I'm just waiting to make it more special
Dude you birthday is next Tuesday man
9456969
yup
I hope you have a wonderful birthday
9456973
oh thank you, I appreciate that so much I'll go edit the chapter just to make it a little extra saucy.
Do it and I be private message you on you birthday