• Member Since 16th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 6th, 2017



Dawn Gazer is a mare who's down on her luck. She's been through school, she's gotten her cutie mark, and she's worked her tail off to get herself a job that will let her move out of her parent's house in uptown Manehattan. Unfortunately, no one seems willing to take her on board. With no one to give her a chance, she feels trapped. So, in an attempt to *make* something work out for her, she's heading out of the big city for a more humble base of operations: Ponyville.

With only enough money for a few nights stay at the local inn, and still lacking any specific skills to nab that perfect job, how far will she go to make something of her life? Will the change of scenery be just what she needs, or a whole new saddle-full of problems?

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 21 )

AN: Alright, I’m going to apologize right off the bat for the fact that this is probably a horrible piece of writing. The fact of the matter is that I haven’t done this whole “storytelling” thing in just over 2 years now. To say I’m a little rusty would be the understatement of the century.

And what’s more, I really don’t have any frakkin’ clue where this story is headed. I’ve just really wanted to get back into writing, and haven’t had any inspiration to do so. I’m hoping that if I just sit down and start writing that something good will come of it, and I’ll be able to improve my way back to a decent level of proficiency as I go along.

I’ve got a basic idea of what the story will be about, but beyond that, the vision is very much unclear.

Anyways, hope you all enjoyed what I’ve got so far. Author’s notes will also be significantly shorter than this if I can at all help it.

Dude this is far from horrible. The whole thing flowed very well throughout and it was a solid introduction to the main character Dawn. And don't worry if you don't know exactly where you're headed with it, I never really know exactly either and it is a damn fun ride. I only vaguely sketch out a plot line and some things I want to happen and then I'm off writing. If you know all your characters well enough i.e know what they want and how they react to the world around them then all you have to do really is throw them into situations and they'll make it work.
As I can ramble far too much about the importance of characters I'll just say I'm looking forward to the next chapter :twilightsmile:

You know what? Fuck work, I'm reading this! :pinkiecrazy:

Great start! Whets the appetite enough to merit a favorite AND a watch :raritywink:

Can't wait to see how Octavia and Scratch get into the mix. Keep up the good work!


Thanks so much, dude. It's nice to know my writing ability hasn't completely deteriorated. Hehe. :derpytongue2:


Well, you'll be happy to know that they'll be making their entrance either at the end of the next chapter, or the beginning of the chapter following that. Depends on how chapter two ends up going.

Also, wow... a fav AND watch? You flatter me, good sir. :twilightblush:

AN: Wow, this took longer to write than it should have. I think I spent the better part of a week just staring at the page hoping words would appear. 90% of what's written here was done in the last few days. Ugh.

Also, to those that I said Vinyl and Octavia would be coming in at the end of this chapter... I lied. :pinkiecrazy:

It's not my fault though! This chapter just ended up going longer than I thought, and I didn't want to rush the next few scenes just to get there. That, and I wanted to get this chapter out ASAP, since it's taken so long already. But don't worry, they WILL be appearing at the end of the next chapter at the very latest. They might come in a little sooner. We'll see.

Anyways, hope ya'll enjoy this!

No sweat! Allow the story to unfold the way it comes to your mind. Trust your storyteller instincts and keep the readers on the edge of their seats. You've got something awesome brewing here! :raritywink:


I do my best. *bow*

Thank ya much, sir!



Haha! I knew this was worth following! Dawn is a really entertaining character. :pinkiehappy:

Now give me my recommended Scratchtavia intake! I need it or I'll surely perish! :pinkiecrazy:

(joking aside I love this fic so far regardless)


Oh, don't you worry. There is OctaScratch on the horizon. I hope it's as glorious for you to read as it is for me to write! :yay:

Thanks for the comment! [One step closer to FIMFiction domination! Muahahaha!]

Loving this so far. And your OC is quite lovable:pinkiehappy:

Faved and liked


Thanks so much! I really appreciate it. :heart:

I know from personal experience how hard it is to write a memorable OC, but I have to admit, Dawn is shaping up to be an interesting character. I'll have to see where this is going.
Cheers! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra.png


I know. Super classy, amirite? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Scootaloo_lolface.png

Glad you're enjoying it so far! I'm super close to finishing chapter three, so hopefully you'll be seeing that pretty soon.


Bring forth the sexually-themed references! Give me your worst!


Wow. Thanks for the critique, man! I really appreciate it! :twilightsmile:

The thing about the narrator randomly hopping into first person is a problem that I have simply because of the way I've always written stories like this. I really love the idea of a narrator who has his/her own personality without actually being a character in the story; someone who can sort of break the fourth wall and make snarky remarks to the characters in the story, even though they can't necessarily hear him/her back.

I actually used to absolutely litter my stories with that sort of stuff, but for whatever reason I didn't really follow up on that first off-hand comment. Now that you mention it, though, I can really see how out of place it seems here. I've never had someone tell me that it was off-putting before, so I've never thought about the possibility it might be distracting or confusing to the reader. Thanks for pointing that out! I believe I do something similar once in chapter two as well, and I'll have to go re-read what I've written of chapter three to see if it happens there too.

Also, you mentioned a couple times that my story-telling isn't quite up to par (which I agree with; about two years out of practice, give or take), but could you be a bit more specific? Was there anything in particular about the flow of the story which seemed off to you? Weak or out of place dialogue? Too much dialogue? Not enough? Overly wordy sentences or descriptions? Was it overly draggy, or did not enough happen?

Also, feel free to answer all this after you've read chapter two, if you wish. I know I kinda went overboard with questions. That's one trait that I did kinda project onto Dawn even though she's not meant to be a representation of me. :twilightblush:

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