• Published 28th Mar 2018
  • 465 Views, 6 Comments

What If...? Screwball Had A Harley Quinn Complex - No1MporXant

When Ponyville's resident Psychotherapist Dr. Scarabew Ballentine has an encounter with Discord, will she be able to convince him to stop spreading Eternal Chaos, or will he drive her completely insane, or will something totally unexpected happen?

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What I'd Give Up for You

We later come to Discord's Throne, where we see Dr. Ballentine sitting on a cloud right beside Discord, with a flat board floating between them, on this board are the plans for Discord's Chaos-Themed Amusement Park, they discuss all sorts of stuff to include in said Amusement Park, like Video Arcades in a cube shaped building, where Gravity is configured so that ponies could use stairs on the edges & corners of the building to walk up onto the walls & ceiling, where even more games to play are placed, giving ponies a total of six floors worth of games that aren't necessarily on the Floor, Giant Ice Stating Ranks with Soap Floors instead of Ice, and Souvenir/Gift Shops the size of Shopping Malls, where ponies could buy Everything they could possibly think of or need, including the Kitchen Sink.

Discord laughs with glee about all of this, he then gets himself a glass of chocolate milk from a cotton candy cloud, then he says "Chaos, is a Wonderful, Wonderful Thing".

But before he took a drink, Twilight Sparkle says "Not as Wonderful, as Friendship", and the Uncorrupted Mane 6 are present along with the Elements of Harmony.

Discord confidently sighs and says "This Again?", he then literally drinks the glass leaving the chocolate milk, he then throws away the milk & it explodes like a bomb.

Applejack then says "That's right, You couldn't break apart our friendship for long".

But then Dr. Ballentine runs up in front of Discord, facing the Mane 6 and shouts "STOP!".

A surprised & confused Twilight says "What the? Dr. Scarabew Ballentine?! What are you doing? Get out of here it's Dangerous!".

Dr. Ballentine says "No, I won't let you Harm him!".

Twilight says "Are you Crazy?! That's Discord, He's the Monster that Ruined Ponyville with all this Chaos!".

Dr. Ballentine says "You're Wrong, He's Not a Monster, Equestria Needs Him, I Need Him!".

Twilight tries to say something, but she's interrupted by Applejack who says "Don't waste your breath Sugarcube, obviously Discord corrupted her like he did all of us".

Rainbow Dash then adds on "Yeah, why else would she be talking more like a Normal Pony instead of her usual Deadpan style".

Dr. Ballentine is outraged by that and says "Why of All the-".

But Discord interrupts her by placing his Lion's Paw on her shoulder while saying, "It's OK Doc, I can handle my own battles thank you very much", Discord then warps in front of the Mane 6 and says "Look Ladies, we all know that you're no longer a threat to me since you no longer have your precious friendship & what not, but just to show you how good a sport I am, I'll humor you here, (he then warps back into his throne & says)but let's make this quick, I have far more important things to work on".

Twilight starts out confused but regains her focus while saying "Uh, Right, Come on Ladies, let's show him what Friendship can do!".

But of course Pinkie Pie shouts "Wait-Wait-Wait", so that she can interrupt the serious moment to get one last drink of Chocolate Rain, then she rejoins the others & gets serious.

Then the Mane 6 start glowing while floating in the air, naturally Discord is over confident & yawns, while we see Dr. Ballentine making a worried facial expression about this whole situation, then the Elements start resonating and launching laser symbols at Discord, when Discord finally takes notice of this he says "Huh, What's this?", he then sees the Mane 6 glowing like a star, he then realizes what's happening and says "No", all the while Dr. Ballentine feels just as afraid about what's going to happen next.

The Mane 6 then launch their Magic Rainbow up into the air, as it arches coming down heading for Discord, Dr. Ballentine out of concern for the Draconequus begins running towards him.

As the Rainbow is coming in for Discord, he & Dr. Ballentine both shout "NO!".

But then she leaps up with her front legs out(and tears in her eyes) shouting "DISCORD!".

He takes notice and grabs hold of her while shouting "DOC!".

Then as the two are holding on to each other in a Hugging style, the Rainbow hits both of them together, but then for some reason the Rainbow begins creating a Vacuum effect on all of the Chaos Magic that Discord filled Ponyville & beyond with, it sucks up all of the Chaos Magic out of everything that Discord infected with his Magic, thus returning everything infected with Chaos Magic back to Normal.

All of the Chaos Magic is sucked up into the Rainbow, then it's all being transferred back into Discord, who begins letting off a low level glow, but Dr. Ballentine begins glowing so intensely that she becomes a pure white blur, shining brighter than the sun.

When all of the Chaos Magic was stripped from everything in Ponyville, Canterlot & everything in between, the Rainbow lifts itself up into the sky, where it all spirals around in a single spot, then it implodes & bursts in a shower of sparkles.

The Mane 6 all float back down to the ground, but they are shocked by what they saw happen, they see that Discord is still there, completely unaffected by the Rainbow's Power(but his thrown is still gone), Discord still in the pose he was in this whole time then opens his eye, then he extends his neck to look around, then looks at his backside to see that he hasn't been sealed in stone like he was the last time, but then he looks at Dr. Ballentine and sees that she has gone through a big physical change.

Dr. Ballentine now had a Pinkish-Purple Coat, her long Mane & Tail were now Curly & Poofier, and were colored Dark Purple with White Highlights, and she was now nude but wearing a Green & Yellow Propeller Beanie on top of her head for some reason, even her Cutie Mark had changed, the Fountain Pen was now replaced by a Screw, and the Clipboard with the Paper that had the Ink Blot on it was now replaced by a Baseball, yet she remained completely motionless.

Concerned for her, Discord tried gently shaking her telling her "Doc, DOC, come on open your Eyes".

When she finally did, we see that her Eyes have changed as well, they now had Purple Irises, but instead of round, black pupils, they had Pink Spirals in them, once she opened her eyes, they were dizzily spinning around making slide-whistling sounds as the spun around, then she blinked three times to try and refocus her eyes, but when she did they kept going from normal to wall-eyed & back with each blink, and her blinks made plunking sounds like rocks falling in shallow water.

She then slips out of Discord's grip, then she wobbles around on her hind legs & holding her front hooves on her head while making a bunch of "Whoa" sounds as if she was disoriented.

Discord asks her "Are you feeling OK?".

The transformed Dr. Ballentine then replies in a Bubbly, High-Pitch, sort of Child-like sounding voice, that sounds identical to that of Tara Strong's Harley Quinn voice and says "Oh, I'm feeling kind of Light-Headed".

Then suddenly her head disconnects from her neck making a kind of "pu-ka" like sound effect as if popping out of a socket or something, and her head starts floating upwards like a helium filled balloon, naturally Dr. Ballentine & Discord are surprised while the Mane 6 are freaked out by this.

Then Dr. Ballentine stretches her front legs like they were made of rubber up towards her floating head, (with a close-up of her head)she grabs her head, retracts her front legs, and reattaches her head to her neck, then (the picture zooms out and) we see that she didn't pull her Head Down to her Body, she pulled her Body Up to her Head, so she was now floating in mid air.

When she notices this she's of course surprised, but then she starts flying around while laughing and shouting "I Can Fly!", she then starts doing some pretty loony stuff while in the air, like performing mid-air Cart-Wheels, flying backwards & upside-down while doing Dweeberlips, and spinning around while performing a Cossack Dance, the Mane 6 are shock & confused at all of the things that the transformed Dr. Ballentine is doing.

Then she soars up high into the sky, then she noses dives down towards the ground at break-neck speeds, then she does a 180 flip & comes to a screeching halt just a few inches from the ground, and touches the ground with only one rear hoof while making a ballet pose, then she laughs and says "Good Air-Brakes Huh?".

Then Twilight asks the Metamorphosed Mare "D-Doctor Ballentine?".

Then the Spiral-Eyed Mare wraps a front leg around Twilight's neck and says "Oh Please, no need for such formalities, just call me Screwball! I used to be called that a lot as a Filly anyways".

Then Rainbow Dash hovers down to just above Twilight & asks "Uh, What just Happened?!".

Then Applejack throws in "Yeah, Why the Hey didn't the Elements work on Discord?".

Rarity then asks "And Why Ever did Dr. Ballentine change into, that, That, THING?!".

Dr. Ballentine now going by the name of Screwball then grabs the rim of her beanie, then she stretches her beanie down to completely cover her entire body, then the beanie retracts back to normal size, and we see that Screwball is now wearing an outfit & accessories that makes her look like she's imitating Albert Einstein, and speaking in a Male Voice with a Thick German Accent she says "Vell I haffe ein Zeory apout zat(Well I have a Theory about that)", then she tears off the Einstein costume returning to her Natural Pony Nudity and says in her Regular(New Regular) Voice "But first I think some-pony-else needs to hear this, BRB".

She then begins spinning around like a purple tornado = Looney Tunes Taz the Tasmanian Devil-style, then she whisks off towards Canterlot, a few seconds later she returns, but the tornado looks bigger & has white mixed in with it, Screwball then stops spinning to reveal that she has brought Princess Celestia with her, naturally Celestia is very dizzy from all that spinning around.

Celestia then says "Uh, Mind your hooves I think I'm going to toss my cakes", she then looks around confused saying "Wait what's going on-", she then gasps at the sight of Discord and shouts "Discord? I should've known!", Celestia then charges up her horn to blast him, only for Screwball to place a cork on the tip of her horn, Celestia's horn then expands like a balloon due to the pressure of her plugged up magic, then the magic redirects itself & bursts out through Celestia's Ears as clouds glittery sparkles.

Screwball then takes off the cork from Celestia's horn and says "Now hold your horses Queen Sunshine, there's no need to start something you'll end up regretting".

Celestia looks at Screwball in confusion and asks "Who, or What, are You?".

Twilight then butts in an tells Celestia "It's Dr. Ballentine! Something Weird happened to her when we used the Elements of Harmony".

Celestia then says "Ballentine? As in Scarabew Ballentine the Psychotherapist?!".

Screwball who is now wearing Groucho Glasses while holding a celery stalk in her teeth says "Yepparoony", then she pulls the celery stalk away from her face, but the groucho glasses are attached to the celery stalk as if they were one thing, and she then says "But you can just call me Screwball".

Author's Note:

When Scarabew Ballentine became Screwball, did anyone else get a vibe from This:

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