• Published 28th Mar 2018
  • 824 Views, 7 Comments

What If...? Screwball Had A Harley Quinn Complex - No1MporXant



When Ponyville's resident Psychotherapist Dr. Scarabew Ballentine has an encounter with Discord, will she be able to convince him to stop spreading Eternal Chaos, or will he drive her completely insane, or will something totally unexpected happen?

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The Lord of Chaos' diagnosis

Dr. Ballentine then stops with the reminiscing but keeps talking to Discord in the here & now by saying "I mean I've seen a lot of crazy things that go on in this town, and I've learned of a lot of bizarre things that involve Mental Health and all, but I've never met anyone like you before, I mean you see the world in ways that nopony else could ever even imagine, and despite this double negative, pretty much Nothing is Impossible for you, and it's become clear to me that You, though often described as a demonic, merciless entity of pure evil, are in actuality a tormented, lost soul with a big, strong heart, seeking out love & acceptance in a world that misunderstands you, and there, as always, were Self-Righteous Individuals, determined to make life miserable for you, but if they just gave you a chance, and got to know you, the Real You, for who you Truly are, I'm sure that they would honestly want to befriend you".

Discord then takes off the glasses he's wearing and says "(sarcastic)Oh sure, like That's ever going to happen, (normal)who in their right minds would ever even want to give someone as chaotic as me That chance?".

Dr. Ballentine replies "Well, I already have", (hehe)yeah, as unprofessional as this may be, I've actually developed strong, emotional feelings towards my own patient, dare I even go so far as to think that I've actually, fallen in Love with you Discord".

A surprised Discord asks "Wait, You're, in Love, with Me? You're not just trying to pull my leg here are you?".

Dr. Ballentine replies "No, I believe these feelings I have towards you are real, I'm really in Love with You".

Surprised by this again Discord says "Oh, Well, I've, never had anyone who, Loved, me before".

Dr. Ballentine replies "Well, first time for everything right? Though when you think about it, a Psychotherapist like me, falling for an Immortal Being of Chaos like you, I mean it sounds pretty crazy right?".

Discord replies "Oh Yes, it's very crazy, and yet, (he then puts the glasses back on and says)it actually makes perfect sense".

Discord then tells Dr. Ballentine "From foalhood you grew-up in an environment devoid of fun & amusement, and once you got a taste of it, you wanted to hold on to that joyous feeling forever, and you wanted to spread that feeling to others so that They could also be happy, which would have made you even more happy in return, but you were forced to be placed on a path that you never even asked for, or even wanted to take to begin with, so you felt that you had to abstain yourself from any further fun & amusement, becoming a more dedicated, career oriented mare in the process, yet you ended up feeling as though you had lost an important part of yourself, leaving a void in your heart that you felt could never be filled, it's only natural that you would find an attraction towards someone so unique, that he could make you laugh again, and help you remember what it was like back when you got your first taste of fun & amusement, thus reminding you of the lost & forgotten You that you used to be, which helped to fill in the void in your heart, in other words being around me brings you the happiness that you've been deprived of for so long now, (he then takes the glasses off again while saying)and If I had to be honest, I kind of feel the same way towards you Doc, I've really grown attached to you".

Dr. Ballentine replies by giving Discord a hug while saying "I knew you'd understand".

A flabbergasted Discord then regains his wits and says "Yes well, the real problem with you was that your life was filled with too much Order, and it was filling you with misery because everything was too routine & mundane for you, all you truly needed was to bring Chaos into you life, it's the unexpected surprises that Chaos gives us that makes life so unforeseeable & fun".

Dr. Ballentine has a great realization and says "My Gosh, You're absolutely Right, without Chaos, life would be too predictable & boring, I can't believe I've gone on This long without it, you've opened my eyes to a greater truth that I didn't even realize existed, we need you to help make life better for us all".

Discord makes his outfit disappear and says "It warms my Heart to hear you say that Doc, too bad everypony else can't be as open-minded as you".

Dr. Ballentine replies "Ah Every Pony is Crazy Discord, even those who refuse to admit it, believe me, I should know, I had sessions with them, trust me, they'll all eventually come to see how Important you & your Chaos are to the world, just, give them some time".

Discord then says "Yes, well until then, being able to spread all of this Beautiful Chaos gets very lonely without someone else to share it all with, (he then holds out his lion paw and asks)soooo uh, care to join me?".

Dr. Ballentine takes a few seconds before finally replying "Hey, I've stuck with you this far, (she then takes Discord's paw with her hoof and says)Why Stop Now?".

Discord then poofs up a long-seated motor scooter, and their both wearing Helmets, Googles, and Scarfs, that have each-other's color-schemes, and Dr. Ballentine is holding on to Discord's torso, he then says "Haha, Excellent, we can get started on making the plans for the Chaotic Kingdom Amusement Park together, (he then revs up the engine while saying)to quote another famous Doctor, Allons-y".

Then they ride off at a great speed while Dr. Ballentine is laughing with joy & excitement.

Author's Note:

As you can guess This and a bunch of the earlier chapters in This story used some material inspired by the DC Comics story Mad Love, which told the original origin of Harley Quinn: