• Published 28th Mar 2018
  • 465 Views, 6 Comments

What If...? Screwball Had A Harley Quinn Complex - No1MporXant



When Ponyville's resident Psychotherapist Dr. Scarabew Ballentine has an encounter with Discord, will she be able to convince him to stop spreading Eternal Chaos, or will he drive her completely insane, or will something totally unexpected happen?

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Exploring the Chaotic Kingdom

The Mane 6 + Spike spend some time exploring the Chaotic Kingdom and it's many attractions, including the Haunted House, with Real Ghosts & Monsters(who while not performing are in actuality more afraid of the visitors than the visitors are afraid of them).

The Volcanic Drop, a Tower Drop ride with Super Heat Shields that actually goes through an Active Volcano with Real Magma, passing under ground going into one Volcano & out another.

The Disco Moon, which is large replica of the Moon that is also a giant Disco Ball that you can dance on(complete with it's own gravitational pull).

Tilt 'n Whirl Bumper Boats, the boat equivalent of Bumper Cars, but they're constantly spinning around while the water has constantly shifting currents.

The Classical Country-style Hayride, which is basically what the name suggests(hey not everything at this Park has to be something ridiculous).

The Mobius-Strip Roller Derby, a roller derby rink that constantly bends, loops & twists around with gravity defying courses.

The Carousel Express, a Train Ride where the seats keep moving up & down like a merry-go-round.

Lots of stage & musical performances done by many clones of Discord & Screwball.

And many more attractions, some you'd commonly expect to find in an Amusement/Theme Park, and some that go beyond one's own imagination.

They later decide to stop for a bite to eat, however when they get to one of the many Food Courts through out the Park, Pinkie Pie's eye's bulge up to the size of basketballs at the very sight at what's there to eat, this enormous Food Court makes Willy Wonka's Candy Forest look like nothing but a single box of plain raisins.

Pinkie then says "I Think I found my own little slice of Shangri-La, I mean would you look at all the stuff they have to eat here, Triple-Decker Chili Cheese Veggie-Burgers, Ice-Cream Tacos with Spicy Chocolate Sauce, Air-Fried Cherry-Changas, Trees that grow Donuts of All kinds, Flower Beds that grow Chocolate coated Graham Cracker Roses with Mashmallowy centers, Corn Stalks that grow Candy Corn on the Cob, Fruity Gummy Hedge Sculptures, Sink Faucets that dispenses multiple flavors of Slushies, Swimming Pools full of different flavors of Popcorn, a Fountain that dispenses Pizza Slices, they even have...Barbecued...Everything! From Grilled Fruits & Vegetables, To Grilled Cheese Sandwiches, To Barbecue Baked Cakes, There's Even Barbecued Pudding! (Pinkie then gets all jittery, not from her Pinkie Sense, but from Pure Excitement, then says)Must...Try...Them...All!", she then goes on an Eating Binge/Frenzy.

Twilight tries to stop her, but Applejack just stops Twilight & says "Don't even bother, once that Pony gets started, there's no stoppin' her".

So while Pinkie is going around eating like crazy, the rest of our heroes just sit down and eat some simple stuff like sandwiches, salads, pastas, soups, and Spike even found a spot that serves Gem-Based Foods suitable for Dragons.

Some Time later our heroes look for Pinkie Pie, when they find her, she's lying on the ground, covered in splats of Chocolate, Whip Cream, Frosting, Syrup & Cheese, she's eaten so much that she now looks like blimp, and she's moaning & groaning in pain because she has a serious stomach ache.

Rainbow Dash then tells Pinkie "This is what you get for losing your self-control & over-doing it".

Pinkie then says "No Way, I still haven't even tried half of all the stuff here(BUURRP! Groans in Pain)".

Fluttershy then says "Oh Dear, This looks seriously bad".

Rarity then replies "I agree, we should get her to a Doctor".

Just then Screwball then pops out of nowhere and says "You mean like Me?", this takes our heroes by surprise & they freak out.

Twilight then says "No, we mean a Medical Doctor to help Pinkie".

Screwball then says "Worry Not, we anticipated something like this, and have just the method to resolve it", a coiled cable then drops down from out of nowhere, at the end of this cable is a rod-shaped remote control with a single little button, Screwball then uses the curls in her tail like fingers to grab the remote & presses the button, then Pinkie is swallowed by a crazy looking machine with accordion pump-like things on the top & bottom of it, the machine then begins making crazy movements & unusual looking functions.

Screwball then explains "As we speak, this contraption is inducing hyper-metabolism for faster digestion, infusing all-natural ingredients to soothe the stomach & digestive system of pain & irritation, and a deep detoxification to cleanse her body of various toxins & harmful impurities, trust me, this will do much more for her than just cure her of her stomach ache", after the machine finishes it's crazy movements, it stops moving & makes the sound of a toilet flushing, then the machine releases Pinkie Pie & returns from where ever it came from.

Pinkie then says "WOW, I feel like a Million Parties begin held all at the exact same time, well now that That's over with, it's time for the Second Course".

Just then Twilight uses her levitation spell on Pinkie and says "Oh No, You're Not going through That again!".

Then Pinkie unsuccessfully struggles to try & free herself while saying "Ah Come On Guys, Going Through That Machine's Made Me Hungry All Over Again, And I still haven't even tried the Elastic Ice-Cream Yeeeet!".

Rainbow Dash then implies "Tough Love Pinkie, Tough Love", and our heroes finally leave the Food Court to further explore the Park.

Author's Note:

When Pinkie said "And I haven't even tried the Elastic Ice Cream Yeeeet!"
I envisioned her saying it the same way Bubbles of the Powerpuff Girls (2016) said "But Where Does The Red Car Goooo?!" in the episode 'Puffdora's Box', as seen in This Clip:

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