1900: Winding Down
Trees.
Trees are great for napping in. For one thing, they’ve got a lot of branches, so there’s plenty of space to choose from to find a comfy one—heck, if you bring a blanket, it’s almost as good as a cloud. They’ve also got plenty of leaves a lot of the time, which are great when you want to hide from work. Or love-obsessed morons. Or both.
What they aren’t so good for is high-speed crashes. All those branches just get in the way, clawing at you and slapping into your sides. There isn’t really a ‘good way’ to crash into a tree; no matter how you hit it, it’s gonna sting… and if you’re really unlucky, you can seriously hurt yourself like that.
Trust me on this one, I’m practically an expert. I’ve crashed into a lot of trees.
…Okay, so not normally after being fired from a cannon. But still, I was used to it.
I made my way through all the normal moaning and groaning and rubbing at the bits of me that felt like they’d been torn off—it’s pretty much another routine of mine by now—and then started tugging my head back through the trunk it had smashed into. I finally yanked it out with a pop!, leaving yet another Rainbow Dash Head Hole in a defenceless tree.
I’m sure that somewhere out there, Fluttershy was crying a river.
Freed from my wooden prison, I took a look around. Turned out that Pinkie’s cannon had one heck of a kick to it; I’d been fired right across town, all the way to the edge of the Everfree itself. In fact, I wasn’t that far away from home, actually; craning my neck back and looking up to the sky, I could just about see my cloud house floating above me.
Home. That reminded me, wasn’t there a blockade of soldiers between me and my bed? Well, not any more I guess, since the skies around me were clear of armed guards. It looked like they’d all gone back to Canterlot or something. There was no sign of anypony, in fact. Finally, I’d be able to get one night’s sleep without an army of more-than-fans camping on my doorstep.
It was properly night time now. The moon wasn’t out yet, but the stars that were out already were just about enough to light up the field between me and my house.
It was nowhere near enough to make me feel safe hanging around the Everfree, though. Again, not ‘cos I was scared. Just… wary. I could totally take on those freaks in there, of course; I just… wouldn’t want to go out with nopony knowing of my heroic stand against incredible odds, after all; fighting against all the hideous, freaky, evil creatures that could tear me to pieces without a second thought…
Yeah. Wary. That’s what I was.
Besides, I hadn’t eaten since that sandwich I took off of that chef I knocked out earlier. For both my safety and my stomach, I decided it would be best to get out of there and get home quick. With that in mind, I leapt into the air for a quick takeoff.
Then I remembered that my wings were still tied shut. After a moment, so did gravity, and it wasn’t happy about me trying to defy it.
“Ungh!” I slammed back into the ground, hard. Wouldn’t be too bad for a pony like me normally, but having just been shot out of a cannon and into a tree (after a day of avoiding goddesses and Wonderbolts and crashing through café walls and smashing my way through a wall of ponies…wow, today had been a weird one), I wasn’t really that springy. I just sorta lay there, groaning a little. All those little aches were starting to add up, and just climbing back to my hooves was an effort.
Those streamers. Those blasted streamers! I turned to glare at them. It was clearly their fault that I’d belly-flopped to the floor like a chubby colt at a swimming pool just now. I tried straining against them with all the strength in my wings, but I knew it would be no use. By Celestia, how were they so strong?!
I tried to twist my neck round to chew through the bindings, now that I had time. The painful twinge I got from turning my head pretty much destroyed that idea, though. I was gonna have to leave it a while before I got them off, to let my neck recover from the crash through that tree.
Heck, I was lucky that I didn’t need a neck brace after that. I could wait out this little ache.
So, what could I do instead? Couldn’t go home, since it was floating up in the air and all. Fluttershy’s cottage wasn’t far away… then again, that would probably lead to another misadventure, and me having to make another daring escaping from a love-crazed pony. I was getting a little tired of that today, though; I just wanted to sit down for a little while without having to run for my life.
There was a pretty big boulder just a little ways into the field. It looked as good a place as any to wait out the pain in my neck; it wasn’t really that cold yet, so I could wait outside, and with that rock I could rest my back against something. Plus, it would give me good vision all around the field, so I’d see any incoming crazies or… monsters… from a long way off.
Thinking about crazy ponies reminded me; where was Pinkie? Normally she’d be chasing after me by now, with that spooky super-speed or teleporting or whatever insane stuff she does to keep up with me. Eh, I guess she felt her responsibility to look after the Cakes’ babies came before her need to chase after me like a love-struck filly.
Hey, just because it’s never happened before doesn’t mean it isn’t possible.
I trotted over to the boulder and leant against it, gasping a little as I rested my back on its surprisingly cold surface. I didn’t think it should be that chilly, but hey, what did I know about rocks? I sighed in relief as the weight came off my hooves and I slid downwards.
Yeesh, this had been a long and wacky day. As I sagged down, my body just kept getting heavier and heavier. It felt like everything I’d been through today had piled up on me at once, so I decided to just lie back against the boulder for a while. Celestia knows I could do with the rest.
Staring up at the stars like that left me with nothing to do but think about this whole stupid thing again, though. Really, I couldn’t understand where it came from, or why it happened to me.
Okay, so I guess I did know why it happened to me: because I’m awesome. I almost had a hard time blaming anypony for wanting me. But still…
In a way, I sorta knew where they were coming from. I’d even had thoughts like that before myself. Sure, everypony looks at the ponies they know in… you know, that way. I mean, not all the time, obviously, but just sometimes. Wondering how things would work, or even if they could work. It was the same with me. I’d just… never bothered to do anything about it, I guess. I had too much to do, anyway—practising for Wonderbolts tryouts, having as much fun as possible, and the little issue of saving Equestria from certain doom over and over again. I was just too preoccupied to be bothered about any of this mushy stuff.
If only everypony else could see it that way, too.
Maybe one day, I could have managed it. If I’d tried, I could’ve found somepony to… y’know, be with. Really, since I was me, and ‘me’ was awesome, I’d be spoilt for choice anyway. After all this, though? There was no chance. With all the craziness going on, it had just put me off the whole thing.
Besides, what if I did choose somepony? What would happen to the rest? I didn’t think that they’d just shrug it off and move on, since I couldn’t get rid of them myself. Would they keep trying? Heck, they’d probably just find a way to get rid of whoever I’d chosen, and try to get me to pick them the next time.
Yeah, that wasn’t gonna happen.
I stared up at the edge of the moon, slowly rising above the forest. Really, couldn’t they just leave this all to me? I’d love the attention if it wasn’t so crazy. A little bit of being worshipped is good for any mare as far as I’m concerned, but these guys were just taking it way too far.
And today had pretty much been a total waste. It was just like every other day, really. Oh, sure, I’d gotten a little out of Pinkie, but so what? All I knew was that some kind of outside force had told her she should be in a relationship with me. What use was that, really? What could I do with that information? I didn’t know what they were, or where, or how they were doing it. They could be creepy wacko space monkeys in a different dimension for all the difference it would make to me right now.
I guessed I could go and try again, find out some more. Keep talking to ponies, getting all the information that I could, to try and build up to something I could chase—after they stopped chasing me, anyway. Then I could go on some crazy adventure to find the problem and stop it. Really, though, I was just tired right now. I really didn’t care enough.
So the Wonderbolts seemed out of the question for me now; so what? It was just a dream. Life’s full of those! I bet I could set up my own team, or even fly solo, and still beat the pants off them!
Or… socks? …Ugh, never mind. Point was, I still had my dream. There’s no way any of this rubbish was gonna stop me from chasing it. I was Rainbow Dash, for pete’s sake! It was my job to smash through boundaries! As far as I was concerned, all this ‘love’ trash was just something else for me to bulldoze right through.
I didn’t have to change the world to get the most I could from it, after all.
Yeah… yeah! I jumped back to my hooves, suddenly feeling a lot clearer on the whole mess, as all that extra weight just seemed to melt away. What did I care if all these ponies went mental over me? I was tough; I could outlast and outrun all of ‘em! I could get what I wanted, no matter what they tried! I was gonna be huge! One day, I’d have my name up in the sky!
…Wait. What was…?
I was still staring at the moon, now almost halfway into the sky. That’s why I noticed it; right in the middle of its face, there was a… I couldn’t tell, really. Some sort of pattern?
This was weird. I mean, the Mare in the Moon was the only ‘moon pattern’ I’d ever noticed, and that had disappeared when Luna returned! What was going on now?
As the moon slowly rose higher over the trees, I could see more of the shape. It looked like… a cloud?
Oh no.
Then underneath it… something else, some straight lines reaching downwards before zig-zagging to the side…
Oh Luna, no.
Finally, the moon cleared the forest completely, and I could see it in full; a big, puffy cloud, with a lightning bolt blasting out of it, separated into different, presumably multi-coloured sections.
It was an exact match for the one on my flank.
My jaw must have hit the floor, because the grass was tickling my chin. I shut my mouth before I swallowed any insects (or small birds), and glared up at that circle in the sky.
Great. Now my cutie mark was slapped on the freaking moon. I’ve seen some grand gestures in my time, but that one? That really took the cake.
What was that supposed to show, anyway? Besides being great publicity, I mean. What, the pattern on my flank, on the moon? Was Luna trying to say… that I should… moon?…
EWWWWWW.
I decided I was reading too much into this. Like, way too much. It was probably best to just pretend it never happened.
Ugh, wonderful. I was feeling so inspired and happy and stuff a minute ago! Now this happens, and I’m back to square one! Snarling in anger, I kicked out at the boulder behind me.
CLANG.
That was funny. Rocks don’t normally go ‘clang’.
I turned to look at it a little closer. Now that the moon was up, I could see it a lot better… Y’know, for a boulder, it was surprisingly square. And metallic. And… sink-like.
Oh.
“You!” I growled, trying to fan my wings out in anger. That just reminded me of the streamers, which just made me even angier. “You’re the one who almost flattened me this morning! This is all your fault!” I yelled. “I dunno how, but… it is! You stupid… ugly… sink!” I span around and bucked the sink hard.
CLANG.
Owwwwwwwwwwwww.
Now that my hooves were throbbing in pain, I decided I’d had enough. I sat down and whipped my head around. I didn’t care about my neck any more; I just wanted this day over. I snapped at the bindings, and after a little struggle, I was free.
“Later… dork.” Yeah, I don’t have that many insults saved up to use against sinks.
With a couple of hard flaps, I was high in the air. I gotta tell you, it felt great to be soaring up in the sky again—y’know, without the help of a cannon. I hadn’t even realised how antsy being trapped on the ground had made me.
Well, antsy enough to blame my problems on a sink, anyway.
Finally, I arrived back home again. I trotted in, slamming the door behind me, before locking it shut. Sure, there weren’t any ponies around right now, but I was willing to bet they’d be back in the morning.
They always were.
Tank started stirring on his straw bed, and slowly climbed to his feet. Very slowly. I thought about going over to see him, but I got tired of waiting for him to get up. I sighed and headed over to the kitchen instead. My stomach was really angry with me right now, since I hadn’t paid attention to it since lunchtime, and I felt like making up to it with a great big sandwich.
See, why can’t all arguments be settled with a great big sandwich? The world would be a way cooler place that way.
For the first time in what felt like forever, I could actually eat in my kitchen. It was a nice change of setting from the bathroom, at least. It meant I could just sit and think for a while more, too, without having to look up and the moon and remember-
No. Not gonna think about that.
Honestly, I couldn’t imagine that there’d be much more I could do. Pinkie had been a dead end, and I didn’t think anypony else would be any more use—she was Pony Zero, after all, so they’d all just say the same thing. And then try to kidnap me.
I couldn’t really go to the library and do some research there, either. Not only was just the idea of it totally boring, but last time I tried that, Spike went all greedy again and grew ginormous, and I had to keep out of town ‘til he calmed down again.
I didn’t run away or anything. It was for his own good, of course! I could have taken him, but I wasn’t willing to slay the dragon over this.
I was out of ideas, and this whole line of thought was just getting me down. With a snort, I shoved the rest of the sandwich into my mouth and swallowed it in one big gulp.
Hah! take that, stomach! Trying to grind that down should keep you busy for a while!
I headed back into the living room, and towards the stairs. Maybe I could just have some alone time, cool down a little before bed, and just get on with my life tomorrow. One day at a time and all. I was halfway up the stairs when I heard a noise behind me. A sorta… tortoise-like sound.
There’s no other way to explain it, really. Go on, try and describe the noise a tortoise makes.
…
Exactly.
I turned around and saw that Tank had managed to travel the huge distance between his little straw bed and his little food trough, and was looking at me expectantly.
“Heh, you must be as hungry as I was to move that fast, little guy!” I chuckled sheepishly as he slowly nodded his wrinkly head. I swear, if Flutters knew how many times I’d almost forgotten to feed him, she’d… wow, I don’t even want to think about what she’d do to me. It wouldn’t be pretty, that was for sure.
Since I didn’t have any of my own food to throw at Tank this time, I went over to the shelf next to his enclosure and grabbed the box of ‘tortoise food’ Fluttershy had given me to feed him with. I think if she realised how often I just give him my leftovers instead of the special stuff she’d given me, she’d probably be just as angry.
I popped the lid on the food box, and took a look inside. From the look and smell of it, I really couldn’t tell the difference between this and any other bland pet food, but I trusted Fluttershy to know what food an animal needed a heck of a lot more than I did. It was her job, after all.
I walked back to Tank’s trough, and was just about to pour in the food when I met his eyes again. Funny enough, they weren’t all glazed over or anything.
In fact… I don’t think he’d ever acted like that around me.
Huh.
So… maybe this curse of mine only affected stuff that… I dunno, could talk or something? Ugh, there’s probably a proper word for that, but hey, I’m no Twilight Sparkle.
Still, it was a good point. I mean, Gummy didn’t react much earlier… then again, I’m not sure if Gummy’s… y’know… all there. He didn’t really react to anything much.
Well, I might not be the Egghead Queen herself, but I could still run an ‘experiment’.
I turned around and galloped to the kitchen, Tank… I dunno, ‘tortoising’?... in complaint behind me for taking away his dinner. I quickly grabbed some crisp green lettuce from a cupboard, then zipped back over to his enclosure.
I picked Tank up, and carried him back over to his little straw bed. “Just wait here a sec, little guy!” I ordered as I put him down, before going back to his little red trough. I poured some of that Flutter-food into it, and put it in the far corner of the enclosure, on Tank’s right. I then flew over to the other corner so I’d be to his left, and I dropped the lettuce roughly in the middle on my way past.
I gave the whole ‘experiment’ the once-over, then nodded at my pet. “Okay, fella!” I called. “Go ahead, make your choice!”
See, my hypotha-thingie was pretty simple here: I was… what would Twilight call it, the ‘control’ varia-whatsit? Ugh, whatever. Point was, I knew my effect on most creatures. If Tank really did have that ‘love’ mumbo-jumbo going on, he’d head straight to me—the blue option—instead of destroying the food in his red trough. The green lettuce was sort of an in-between choice, since I was pretty sure it tasted better than whatever food came out of that box.
It felt like all the hours I’d spent running around today, everything I’d been through, all the time and effort I’d put in… it all came down to this decision.
All I had to do was wait for him to make his choice.
So I waited.
And waited.
And waited.
…That was the only problem with my ‘experiment’, really. I’d forgotten one crucial varia-whatsit in my equa-thingie: Tank’s really, really slow.
At this rate, it would take, like, fifty-thousand years for him to reach me.
I was tired. I wasn’t waiting that long.
“Screw this,” I muttered. I jumped over Tank’s enclosure’s fence and headed up the stairs, leaving him to make his decision on his own. Heck, I’d probably come down in the morning to find that he’d just eaten both. I didn’t really care at this point, I just wanted to get to my room.
A couple seconds later, and I was finally there. I shut the door behind me and flung myself onto my bed, sighing in relief as I sank into the soft cloud mattress.
Finally, I was alone. Finally, able to just spend some time with myself.
I turned to face my mirror, on the opposite wall to my bed. Even from here, I could see that I was a mess. What with the long-distance flying, café brawl, Sonic Rainboom escape, time spent in trees, and being Pinkie-napped, I was surprised I had any mane left at all.
Like I said earlier, I’m no Rarity. I still know when I look like a furball dragged backwards through a forest, though.
I couldn’t be bothered with a shower at this point, so I just flapped over to the mirror and sat in front of it, grooming myself back to looking like my usual, awesome self. It wasn’t long before I good enough for Dash standards again—and let’s be honest here, they’re the only standards that matter, right?
I stared at my reflection, admiring my handiwork. And… well, myself, too. Who could blame me? I was pretty fantastic.
“Looking good, Rainbow,” I muttered, flexing my wings and grinning. “Looking real good.”
Heh. As if any pony thought they were cool enough to handle the Dash. Nah, there was only one pony cool enough for me, and that was… well… me.
‘Go with the flow’; that’s what ponies say, right? Well, that’s what I was gonna do. Keep on going through my life, taking what I could from it. So I couldn’t stop all this crazy; so what? It wasn’t gonna change what I wanted, or how I would get it.
You’d think that something like this would take away all my reasons to keep going, but that’s not true at all.
I knew exactly what I was living for.
Myself.
Stats
Page generated in 0.023 seconds
Total duration
830 users online
620,784 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
ME: Remember that blog post when I said that I wouldn't be able to update today?
READER: Yes! That's right, you did!
ME: I lied.
*Drops reader off a cliff*
In all seriousness though, welcome to the end. I'm glad you all lasted this long. Have some everlasting affection as a reward.
You've earned it, my friends. You've earned it.
......man. A cutie mark emblazed onto the moon. Nice.
Wow, Poor Rainbow, but is it just me or did she sound really selfish at the end there :/ MOAR!
And then it turns out that Rainbow Dash herself was Pony Zero all along dun dun duuuun.
This is Awesome
love the bit about flutters crying over the tree 
"Welcome to the end"
I thought you meant the story was done, and I just so happen to be sitting next to my axe at the time.
Thank god i checked it for complete before i needed to buy a new laptop.
Loving this series; I hope the Dash can find a solution and then, like, one of her friends will be revealed to have always been in love with her and they get together and become all couply-wouply
Or maybe not, so long as it ends HAPPILY!
Oh buck, we have to find a cure for this pandemic Dashloving
Another excellent chapter!
1462473 Nice Commando reference, by the way.
Good job, you creepy wacko space monkey.
Maybe its time to bring in the other half of the Dash-shipping equation. Namely those creatures that look like apes that walk on two legs.
1462473 Author. AUTHOR. IDEA. :3 -IDEA-.
...
The Lauren Faust Alicorn. THE CREATOR OF ALL PONY. :3 She needs to be in this. SHE NEEDS TO BE IN THIS~!
*losing my shit!*
Hm... I'm surprised Rainbow doesn't end up falling for herself and date a mirror.
1462473
"Welcome to the end"?
But... its still marked as incomplete! It isn't over yet... right? right?!!
1462473 Do you mean it's finished? Because it's still listed as incomplete.
Oh, please don't be finished.
It's all because of us creepy wacko space monkeys from another dimension shipping Rainbow with everypony.
1462527
The implication is that she succumbed to her own influence. The title is Everypony Loves Rainbow Dash, not Everypony but Rainbow Dash Loves Rainbow Dash.
Oh no. This is probably going to be a really creepy ending, Dash falling for herself and all. I can just picture it:
Rainbow Dash looking in the mirror, glazed over eyes staring at her own reflection. She rubs a hoof along the cheek of her reflection's face, leaning in for the kiss...
Oh God why.
I'm starting to see this as another Mare Do Well incident, this time to teach Rainbow to think about others, although this time everybody's in on it. Pinkie, being Pinkie, merely told a witty lie.
Inb4 hate on mare do well.
This is all really intriguing
wait so this is the end? no more chapters?
And Dash bangs the mare in the mirror, falling under her own trap.
Hah! Very good, Wafer, very good.
I believe he has an "Epilogue" of sorts that he wishes to post, but he's busy being all fancy this weekend so we'll just have to wait
1462668
Same for me, except all I had were my trusty fists of steel.
Anyways, Wafer, your expectant reader base anticipates closure. Report to me when you have accomplished this. And try not to fall any more cliffs before then.
1462473 Wait, just to be clear, you aren't ending the series?
This fic is the polar oppisite of all RBD ships...
Love it
Well...
About that Tank part...
Someone should write a Tank x Rainbow Dash story.
-Runs away- YOU CAN'T CATCH ME! YOU CAN'T SEND ME TO THE MOON!
Oh, my dearest Rainbow Dash!
We hath fallen head over hooves for thee!
So... Doth thou appreciate being mooned by a princess? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png
Forget those useless "Blunderdolts"!
Thou hath already proven a fit image of a Shadowbolt, upon our last Nightmare Night.
Come, be our mare and we shall make thee captain of the reformed Shadowbolts!
Umm... Please, dearest Rainbow Dash??? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Luna_apple.png
I'd laugh my flank off if it was Cadance all along, because she felt jealous that Dashie's rainboom upstaged her in beauty at her very own wedding! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rainbow_Dash_lolface.png
"Everypony Loves Rainbow?" Well, I don't, and my OC doesn't either.
Reason? Because I'm a human, and she's a horse. 'Nuff said. But my OC doesn't quite fall for her like everyone else. Sure, she's a sight to see sometimes, but Novus could give less shits if she came knocking on his front door. Not like she will, but whatever.
It's just based upon how she's so freaking mainstream! Everypony in the world wants her, and everyone else at least knows who she is. He'll give her the respect of any other pony, but he won't do anything as major as kicking her ass out the door, or as sick and low as locking her in his basement fitted with a 7'x12' copper-insulated bank vault equipped with an electronic tumbler and a biometric hoof scanner, as well as other factors like EyeDentify and other chemical tests.
Oops.
Anyhow, Novus could give absolutely no shits if he wanted to. Which just proves my point that not everypony wants Rainbow Dash.
1462473 If you end this without explaining what the deuce is going on, I will WRITE A NEW ENDING MYSELF. A story of this magnitude deserves a decent resolution.
Please, please tell me it isn't ending like this.
I need the catharsis of a resolution of the problem to get rid of the knot of horror this story left in me.
She... fell in love with herself at the end. After looking in a mirror. Well, looks like she did get hit by a "want it need it" spell.
And when Tank started acting funny, I expected something like this.
me: if this is the ending we will kill you.
metal sonic:ya what master said.
metal scourge:dittio
1462668 Heh... Ehehehe... Yeahhhh....
1462711 Thankee kindly!
1462886 'Fraid not. Feel free to write that up yourself, if you want; mi casa es su casa.
1462926 1462932 1463617 1463925 1464183 1468896 1470426 1474362 Shhhhhhh...
1462945 Yep! Makes for great storytelling opportunities!
1465143 ...I'd read it.
1467363 Then my work here is done.
1479615 @_@ I couldn't. Is your story. I doubt I'd be able to do it justice @_@ Poopie.
Two words: Textbook narcissism.
Have a nice day!
--Not a brony