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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Nice!
Liking it so far. Please more!
*You're
*slams beer glass on table* MOAR! *ground shakes from voice power* ಠ_ಠ
948043 ??
948086
the title
948104 Oh.........my bad!
Good premise and I'll follow for now but I feel I should give two points of constructive critism:
1) Pace yourself, don't rush things in a story, I know its very easy to do from personal experience and certain parts of the story (and possibly the whole thing) is a tad rushed.
2) Make the chapters longer, you can make the first chapter short because that sort of a prologue but each chapter after that should at minimum be over 2000 words long.
-Mr. Carnage
948114 Personally I love it when people point out flaws with my stories it does help. I always try to consider any criticism I get when I am writing a story.
-Upon a re-read of it, I do see I did rush a bit so far.
-On the 2000 word limit, I will try to start that.
If you notice or can think of anything else that would help me improve my writing, send me a message or just drop a comment on any one of my stories you find a has an error or flaw that causes damage to the story quality.
948140 And I would love you to do the same so you can look at th two stories I'm currently writing if you want
-Mr. Carnage
948152 I will check out your stories.
-Nate
Lucky bastard.
948190 Who? Seethe Master?
948194 yes... and Molestia at comic-con? I like it.
fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/117/b/9/mr_t_pony_by_tom_turbo-d3f1h15.png
Oh dear. Still art. Still talking 'bout THIS, but still not a clopping material Well done. As for the typos and stuff
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This is an unexpected yet highly entertaining premise.
your celestia x OC stories awesome as always
949800 Thank you very much. I might some day try.a Luna x.OC story
950016
please dont, cuz luna x OC already too many
950140 Really? Hmmmmm.....I should read more stories. I guess I will have to find another character once I'm done with the Celestia x OC premise
950146
yeah, hhhm, maybe you can make clopfic about OC male pony (you) and Female Human in equestria?
this would be new type of HIE at least haha
950157 Good idea sir.
On a different matter, I really need an editor, someone who can look over my stuff and say if it's good, bad, or mis-spelled to no limit. I just re-read part of what I have for the new chapter of this story and found 10 grammar errors!
I...need.....to slow down!
950176
sorry, cant help with that cuz im russian and time differens is about 10-12 hours sooo
950193
about my idea, dont make it like some stupid erm.. rutting, make it this feelings and shit
THAT LUCKY FUCKING BASTARD
Noice. Keep ahp the great work there, mate! I really liked it!
Omfg, I need more!!!!! Great story, can't wait for an update
Poor Seethe... he doesn't even realize how far in he is... or how far he's about to get (if you know what I mean)
I have a feeling Luna's going to be less than enthusiastic or overly enthusiastic about this.
Again, poor, poor Seethe...
I just hope he didn't promise anything to Pinkie...
951185 Who says it's Pinkie? Fluttershy has a pink mane.
I agree with the tardis. MOAR!!!!!!!!
I see a Pimp
You know, I don't think "yes" is two words.
Jus' saiyan.
948140
Err, just started reading, and... spelling errors... Please remember the use of contractions, and some words just felt off... On a good note, I didn't dislike the story, like I oft do when errors abound.
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Derpy_Hooves.png
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Luna_apple.png
Y U LEAVE US HANGING?i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/089/665/tumblr_l96b01l36p1qdhmifo1_500.jpg
Just fyi, this sentence is very awkward. The period after somepony and the one after the quote at the end of the sentence are both unnecessary. A common tip that makes writing easier; try speaking the line to yourself under your breath (or full-volume—your choice as to what helps most) and listen to how you pronounce it. Repeat it if necessary, but try to examine it when you say it for the proper punctuation.
Like one common joke about punctuation (slightly paraphrased, cant remember the exact wording):
"Ever heard of the strippers, Hitler, and Stalin?"
"Ever heard of the strippers Hitler and Stalin?"
The first has slight pauses with each comma, making them all unique entites, and it sounds like you are mentioning a story of some sort. The second, lacking commas, makes it come across as Hitler and Stalin BEING the strippers. This works for the first period I pointed out; the pause feels incredibly awkward.
However, I may have just given that advice prematurely, seeing as this is only chapter two. Either way, I will continue reading.
i imagine this guy with christopher walkins voice. dunno why.
2620889 Hitler and Stalin as s-strippers. *Snerk* Bwahahahahahaha!!!
Oh lord. That imagery...