Tempest couldn't listen to Starlight snore anymore.
Better get a head start... she thought, trying her best to tune out her new roommate’s snoring. As she carefully pushed the sheets off of herself, Tempest gazed out the window as the moon’s gentle light peeked through the clouds. Conditions are perfect... She made her bed in record time, just like how she did when she was in the Storm King’s military. Even though she had forsaken him and her old life, some habits still remained, for better or for worse.
After shooting a furtive glance at Starlight to make sure she was still asleep, Tempest crept out of the room and made her way down the hallway. She took care to tread as lightly as she could to not rouse anypony from their slumber. Standing at the top of the stairs leading down to the entryway, she paused, glancing back over her shoulder as she thought of Twilight.
I’m sorry.
A particularly loud snore from Starlight back down the hall made her ears flick up, her heart skipping a beat. She snorted as a wry smile graced her lips, then snuck down the stairs. Tempest crept her way in and out of everypony. At least nopony down here is snoring...
A light whimper broke Tempest from her thoughts. She stopped in her tracks and looked down. The same filly from earlier twitched and writhed in her sleep, a teddy bear just out of her reach. Their face scrunched up as she whimpered again. Tempest leaned down and nudged the teddy bear back into the filly’s grasp with her muzzle. Warmth blossomed in her chest as she watched the filly latch onto and curl up around it. Tempest smiled, happy that she was able to ease the filly’s pain in the slightest of ways, then snuck out of the castle.
“Where to go, where to go...” she muttered, her head on a constant swivel. Her stomach grumbled, for it had been well over a day since she’d last eaten anything. Tempest trotted through the center of town, eventually finding herself on the outskirts. Lots of debris lay in her path, all thrown into one big pile. This’ll be a good start... she thought, smirking as her horn sparked to life.
With the sun streaming in through the windows, Starlight stirred awake, one of her two pillows held against her chest. “No, don’t go... we can snuggle for at least another few minutes...” she muttered, still partly inside of a dream. Rolling over onto her other side, she nuzzled the top of her pillow, imagining the pony she was snuggling with was nuzzling her back. The sounds of birds chirping outside yanked her out of the world of dreams, making eyes open. A blissful warmth pressing against her tummy made her look down with a grin. “Heh, again?” she whispered. After squeezing it one more time, she let go of it and stretched, unleashing a long yawn. “Hey, Tempest? You up yet?” When no response came, she glanced over at the other bed.
It was empty.
Starlight’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “Wha...?” she uttered. Starlight rubbed her bleary eyes, then looked again.
Still empty.
“Uh... Tempest?” she called out as she looked around the room. Their bedroom door was ajar, and the sheets on Tempest’s bed were neatly made. With her heart starting to race, Starlight jumped out of bed and laid a single hoof on Tempest’s sheets and found them to be cold. Okay... so she’s been gone for more than a couple of hours. I gotta go tell Twilight! She darted towards the door, using her magic to pull it open the rest of the way. Starlight galloped down the hallway and screeched to a halt in front of Twilight’s bedroom door. “Twilight? Are you up yet?” she asked, rapping on it with a hoof until Twilight answered.
“Kinda...” finally came Twilight’s voice.
“Good.” Starlight pushed open her bedroom door and shut it behind her. “So listen, I know this probably isn’t the first thing you wanna hear right now, but Tempest is missing.”
Twilight blinked a few times. “Missing?”
“Yeah! Her bed was made and our door was open.”
“Fantastic... Just what I needed in the morning.” Twilight flung the sheets off of her and pushed herself out of bed. “Come on, she can’t have gotten that far on hoof.”
“Wait a minute... You think she ran away?” Starlight cocked her head to the side.
Twilight paused. “...I don’t know.”
“But I heard her tell you that she would spend the rest of her life trying to make things right last night. Running away just doesn’t make sense,” Starlight said.
“I know, but... there’s a small part of me that thinks she might have changed her mind, or that she just said what she thought I wanted to hear.” She trotted up to her dresser, searching for her brush. “Oh... right. Gone.”
Starlight squirmed in place for a few seconds, then made herself calm down. Something moved outside in her peripheral vision caught her attention, making her head snap to the left as she looked out the window.
A huge plume of smoke was rising from the far side of town.
Starlight’s eyes burst open wide. Fire! “Twilight, look!” she said, pointing out the window with a hoof.
Twilight trotted up to the window and gasped. “Okay... now I’m kinda thinking you’re right about her running away now,” she said in disbelief.
But it sounded like she wanted to be friends with me last night! Serves me right, I guess... thinking I could make a friend that easy. Starlight’s shoulders slumped as worry began to gnaw at her heart.
“Come on, we have to go see what’s going on before we jump to any conclusions.” Twilight ran outside onto her balcony, spread her wings wide, and threw herself into the sky, flying towards the smoke.
Lighting her horn, Starlight teleported herself outside and galloped after Twilight. “See anything from up there?” she yelled out.
“No, the smoke is too thick!” Twilight yelled back.
Starlight trotted up behind a building close to the fire and stopped. She peered around the corner, barely making out the shape of a pony walking towards the fire, a bunch of wood held in one hoof. “Hey, wait a minute... I think I see her!” she said, hearing Twilight land behind her. Maybe she didn’t run away! she thought.
“But why is she burning stuff?” Twilight asked, looking over her shoulder.
“Only one way to find out!” Starlight giggled and trotted towards the fire. “Hey, that you, Tempest?”
Tempest dropped her load of debris next to the raging inferno and looked over her shoulder. “Starlight?” she called back.
Starlight chuckled as she glanced over her shoulder. “See? Nothing to worry about, Twilight!” she said. Warmth filled her chest at the sight; her hope in her new friend had not been in vain. She trotted down the road and around the side of the bonfire and sat down a few feet away from Tempest. “So, uh... whatcha doin’?” she pointedly asked, cocking her head to the side as Twilight sat down beside her.
“Burning debris. What’s it look like? I saved what could be reused over there.” Tempest pointed behind them towards the rather impressive and neatly sorted piles of wood that lay next to the building that they had just come from. “We’re going to need more nails, by the way.” She sat down and wiped the sweat from her brow as she turned to face them. Looking at Twilight, she said, “I gave you my word that I would do my best to right the wrongs I committed. I didn’t sleep that well last night, so I figured that I should get up and not waste any more time.” She noticed Starlight’s rump wiggling to and fro, acting like she had something to say. “Uh... something wrong?”
“Hehe, we kinda thought you ran away when I saw that your bed was empty this morning.” Starlight rubbed the back of her neck with a hoof as she avoided Tempest’s gaze. “You didn’t leave a note, your bed was made, our bedroom door was open, and... well, yeah.”
“I see.” Tempest threw more debris onto the fire.
“So...” Twilight yawned. “Would you like some breakfast? Maybe a few pots of coffee?”
“That’d be lovely,” Tempest said with a curt nod. “But I have to finish this first. You want to start making breakfast and let me catch up in a little bit?”
“Yeah, sure.” Twilight turned around, took a few steps, then paused. “You coming, Starlight?”
“Nah, I think I’m gonna stick around for a bit if that’s okay.”
“What, you don’t want the first cup of coffee like usual?” Twilight smirked. “Suit yourself!” she said, letting a smile grace her lips as she trotted back towards the castle.
As Tempest threw more wood into the flames, Starlight scooted closer to her and rubbed her two front hooves together, relishing the warmth from the flames. “So... everything good?” she asked, glancing up at her with a cautious, hesitant grin.
“Barely.”
“What makes you say that? Twilight took you under her wing, gave you a place to sleep, and kept you from rotting in prison.” Starlight chuckled. “I think that’s a little bit better than just barely.”
“I suppose, but...” Tempest groaned. “I don’t know. I just figured that this would be a good start. I didn’t mean to scare you both like that.”
“Oh, that’s fine,” Starlight said with a dismissive wave of her hoof. “The blame partly rests on my shoulders, too. I was still half-asleep when I thought you ran off,” she said with short chuckle. “If you don’t mind my asking... why’d you get up in the middle of the night? That’s not that, uh... normal.”
“Getting up before everypony was something I did back in the military. Being a commander has its perks, but getting up early is definitely not one of them.” Tempest groaned as she wrestled with a bigger pile of debris, throwing all of her energy into picking it up with her hooves. “U-Ugh!” she grunted, finally throwing it into the fire. Her legs trembled from the effort, and while sleep tugged at her eyes, she shook her head and moved back to grab another hoofful.
“Yeah, I bet!” Starlight giggled, covering her growing smile with a hoof. “Anyways, every mare needs their beauty sleep, though, and that includes you! We can’t have you wearing yourself out every single day.”
“I swore to Twilight that I—”
“That you wouldn’t rest until you fixed everything, blah blah blah,” Starlight said, rocking her her head from side to side. When she saw Tempest’s eyes narrow, she dropped her smile and poked her with a hoof. “But you can’t help anypony if you don’t take care of yourself first.”
Tempest stared at her for a couple of seconds, then sighed and relaxed, her ears flicking back. “I guess you’re right... Heh, I sure could go for some coffee and a quick nap,” she said, smiling as she sat down.
“A nap?”
“Yeah. I didn’t get a wink of sleep because of you last night!” Tempest said with a chuckle.
“Wait, why not?”
“Because you snored so obnoxiously I thought you were faking it.”
“What? No I wasn’t!” Starlight said, shocked.
“You weren’t faking it or you weren’t snoring?” Tempest laughed.
Starlight rolled her eyes and grinned. “The part about me snoring! I don’t snore!”
“Yes, you do. You were snoring so loudly you probably kept Spike awake in the next room! I bet the entire castle didn’t get a wink of sleep because of you!” Tempest said with mirth as she threw more debris into the fire.
Starlight recoiled in shock. “Nuh-uh!”
“Yeah-huh! How would you know if you’re snoring if you’re fast asleep, hm?”
Starlight’s muzzle scrunched up as she crossed her forelegs over her chest. “Fine, you got me there,” she said, her tail swishing about. Eyeing the fire and the rest of the debris Tempest had to get through, she licked her dry lips as an idea popped into her mind, one that would hopefully make their friendship grow. “Ya know, there’s a lot of debris to burn. I can help with that!” She lit her horn and focused her magic on the rest of the debris; the pile was large enough to make up at least three entire buildings.
“No!” Tempest barked, leveling her piercing gaze on Starlight. “I must do this by myself.”
Starlight’s magic faded away. “B-But it’ll take you hours to burn all of this stuff! If we factor in a few breaks for breakfast, lunch, and for snack time, you’d be throwing wood into this fire well after the sun sets!”
“If that’s how long it takes...” Tempest threw more wood into the fire and coughed, cursing the stifling smoke.
“But it doesn’t have to take that long,” Starlight said, pointing at her horn. “I can get it done in a few seconds! Besides, what are friends for, if not to help their friends when they need it most?” Starlight smiled up at Tempest, knowing she had her cornered.
“Because this is my punishment. I deserve this.”
Starlight huffed. “Well... I can’t speak to your needing to be punished, but I do know one thing. Before my mother passed away, she told me something that I think about every day, something I think you need to hear.”
“Oh? What might that be?” Tempest asked.
“It’s that you should work smarter, not harder.”
Tempest paused. “Your mother sounds like a smart mare.”
“Yeah, she had her moments,” Starlight said with a shrug. “So with that being said, would you like my help or not?”
“...Fine.”
“Good!” Starlight chirped. She lit her horn again, then used her magic to throw the rest of the debris into the fire. “Wanna go back to the castle and get some breakfast?” She heard Tempest’s stomach grumble over the roaring inferno in front of them, making her giggle. “I’ll take that as a yes!” She wrapped a hoof around Tempest’s left foreleg and tugged her in the direction of the castle. “If we’re lucky, Spike might be cooking his famous blueberry and chocolate chip pancakes!”
Twilight took her seat in the map room, waiting until the rest of her friends took their own seats. A long, blank scroll and a quill floated in front of her, held up by her magic. Tempest sat to her left, a steaming cup of coffee held in between her front hooves. Starlight sat on her right, in between her chair and Spike’s. “So... since you all have been here for a couple of days, how bad is it out there?” Twilight asked her friends, nursing her own cup of coffee. “I saw a little bit last night. It was... unbearable.”
“Yeah, it is.” Applejack straightened up in her seat. “The barn was destroyed, and the family home needs a lot of work for us to live in it again.”
“Okay... What about the fields? Are they intact?” Twilight asked. “We need food to keep everypony fed. Would you be willing to donate enough apples to feed the town for at least a few days? Maybe a week if necessary?”
“Like ya even need to ask,” Applejack smiled as she straightened her hat. “You want me to go now and round up some ponies to help out?”
“After the meeting is over, yeah, that would be perfect. Celestia and I can repay you for the apples, plus interest, after everything has settled down, so you don’t need to worry about that.” The sound of Twilight’s quill scratching against the parchment filled the room for a few moments. “Anyways, we need to develop a strategy that puts Ponyville back on track to full recovery as fast as possible. I hate seeing my home like this.” She turned to the next pony in line, Rarity, and asked, “What is it that you need to make your home livable again?”
“Oh, my place definitely shouldn’t be among the first buildings to get fixed,” Rarity said with a dismissive wave of her hoof. “I am perfectly content helping Applejack feed the town. Besides, everything goes faster with magic!” She lit her horn to emphasize her point.
“Very well.” Twilight looked to the right again, her eyes settling upon Pinkie Pie, but before she could utter a single word, Applejack spoke up.
“Ya know you’re gonna get your pretty little hoofsies dirty out in mah fields, Rarity,” Applejack said with a chuckle. “Ya sure you don’t wanna help out somewhere else?”
“If circumstances were different, most likely, yes, but we can’t all live in a perfect fantasy world where one gets to keep her hooves mud-free.” Rarity held out a hoof, inspected it, then sighed. “Celestia knows I’m going to need at least three full days in the spa afterwards.”
“I think we could all use a trip to the spa!” Pinkie exclaimed, bouncing up and down in her seat. “And I’m paying, but only after we get Ponyville looking the bestest again!”
Rainbow Dash cleared her throat. “Hey, so... what if we all focused on one thing at a time instead of each doing our own things? Each task would be finished sooner, letting us move onto the next thing faster!”
“Hm... that’s not a bad idea, Rainbow.” Twilight rubbed her chin as she thought. “Okay, so aside from gathering apples, what else needs to be done?”
“There’s still a lot of debris and trash all around town,” Fluttershy said. “We should clean that up next.”
“Yeah!” Pinkie stopped bouncing for a few seconds. “And we need supplies to rebuild our homes!”
“I could petition Celestia for emergency provisions, but it could take up to a week or more before she could send us anything. I’m sure other cities look just as bad, maybe even worse than Ponyville.” Twilight scribbled down their ideas, then looked up. “Any other ideas?”
“What if we get a lot of ponies to go chop wood from the White Tail Woods?” Spike asked. “Pretty sure we need wood to rebuild Ponyville, and what better place to get it from than there? It’s close by, and we wouldn’t have to wait for new shipments of wood to get here.”
“Now that’s an excellent idea, Spike!” Twilight said with a grin, scribbling down his idea. “Thankfully, Ponyville has several ponies experienced in construction, so we should find them next. I’m sure that they could find others to help them chop down some trees.” Twilight took a sip of coffee, then swirled the last little bit remaining around in the bottom of her mug.
Without warning, Spike burped up a letter that held Princess Celestia’s royal seal.
Before he could grab it, Twilight snatched it out of the air with her magic and read it. Dearest Twilight, my guards notified me that there was a fire coming from Ponyville early this morning. Is everything under control? “Spike, please send a letter to Princess Celestia letting her know that everything is okay here, please!” she said. “It is imperative that it be sent as soon as possible.”
“You got it!” Spike said before scurrying away.
Twilight placed the scroll on the map table and watched as it curled back up. She rubbed her temples with a hoof, slightly upset that Tempest’s actions had caused Celestia to grow concerned. She vehemently wished to prove to her that she made the right choice in choosing to give her a second chance, and she didn’t want to give her any reason to second-guess her decision. She let loose a soft sigh, then cleared her throat. “Starlight? Any ideas?”
“Nope! Just tell me where to go and I'll help out as best I can!” Starlight said, placing her empty mug on the floor. She stood up and stretched, then held up her empty mug as a sheepish smile slid onto her face. “But can we get more coffee first?”
“Definitely.” Twilight slid from her seat. “But after that, can you all go ahead and start making preparations at the farm? I need to speak with Tempest first, then we’ll meet you guys out at Sweet Apple Acres, okay? I’ll let everypony downstairs know that they should stick around for breakfast when I leave.”
As everypony collected their things, Starlight walked behind Twilight’s chair and nudged Tempest’s shoulder. “Hey, buck up, alright? You got nothing to worry about!” she said in a hushed tone, hoping that Tempest would return her reassuring smile. Tempest didn’t even meet her gaze, staying stock still. Hm... I’ll be sure to save you a cup of coffee,” she whispered.
“Thanks. The two cups I’ve had so far is nowhere near enough what I need,” Tempest said with a forced smile.
“Alright, then. Want me to save you two cups of coffee?” Starlight asked with a giggle.
An actual, earnest smile overtook the fake one. “Heh, yeah. Maybe this day isn’t going to turn out that bad.”
“There you go!” Starlight wrapped her forelegs around Tempest’s neck. “I gotta go make sure that they don’t drink all the coffee, so I’ll see you later, okay? Maybe we can hang out during snack time?”
“I look forward to it.”
“Awesome! Well, I guess I’ll see you later!” Starlight said as she trotted out of the room.
Twilight softly coughed to get Tempest’s attention. She nodded towards the door leading back out into the hallway. “Come, walk with me,” she said. Tempest nodded, following her in silence until they stood before her bedroom door. She pushed it open and stared at her mirror for several seconds, sighed, then headed towards the balcony.
“Twilight?”Broken shards of glass still lay all over the place, making Tempest take care with each step. She slowly walked up to Twilight’s dresser and sat down, gazing into her own eyes through the broken mirror. “What does this mean to you?” she asked softly.
“My mirror?” Twilight asked, glancing over her shoulder. “It is—well, it was very special to me. In a way, it still is.”
“But why? It’s just a mirror.”
“That’s true, but it was something that I held very close to my heart. You see...” Twilight sat down beside Tempest and met her gaze in the mirror. “I had pictures of all of my closest friends tucked in around the edges, so that when I got up to brush my mane in the morning, I would look into the mirror and be surrounded by all of my friends.”
Tempest winced as she bit back a groan. “I know you hold me responsible for it. If I could fix—”
“I know. What’s done is done, and we can only move forward at this point.” Twilight laid a wing around Tempest’s back and stood up, leading her out towards her balcony. They walked outside. Twilight folded her wing back to her side as she sighed, a small breeze blowing through her mane as they reached the end. “I think you know what I’m going to say next.”
Tempest nodded. “The fire?”
“Yes, the fire. While I know you had the right intentions, what you did was reckless. You had nopony to help you if something went wrong, and you could have burned the rest of Ponyville to the ground. If that had happened, making friends around here would have been nearly impossible to do.”
Tempest’s ears flicked back, but they perked up a second later. “I knew what I was doing though. I had everything under control.”
Twilight grit her teeth. “After all that has happened, the last thing my citizens need to see is a massive plume of smoke coming from the other side of town. They’ve been through too much...” Twilight set her gaze on the road leading to Applejack’s farm, where she was just able to make out her group of friends trotting away from town. “When Starlight woke me up this morning and said you were gone, I jumped to the worst conclusion and thought you ran away. The big fire didn’t soothe my worries, either.”
“I’m sorry for that. I just did what I thought was right. I... I wanted to show you and everypony else that I was committed to helping out around here, and burning debris just seemed like a good way to start. It has to go somewhere, right?”
“Yes, it does, but in a way that doesn’t incite terror.” Twilight draped her front legs over the railing, her head hung low.
Tempest sighed, then sat down beside Twilight, her tail swishing back and forth. “So... get any sleep last night?”
“No.”
“Heh, me neither.”
“Wait, why?” Twilight asked, lifting her head up to look at Tempest. “Didn’t Starlight give you a bed?”
“She did, but she snores a lot. I didn’t get a wink of sleep last night, and, well... the coffee is the only thing that’s kept me awake today.”
“What, the big bonfire didn’t wake you up at all?” Twilight asked with a chuckle. “The flames were at least ten feet high.”
“Okay, I might have fibbed a little bit,” Tempest said, hiding her grin with a hoof. “So why didn’t you get any sleep last night? Was it because of Starlight’s incessant snoring? I wouldn’t be surprised if she kept up the entire castle.”
“Well...” Twilight’s ears flicked back as her smile faltered. “I had some nightmares about...” She glanced away.
A distinct feeling of dread overtook Tempest’s heart. Many seconds passed in silence as she waited for Twilight to finish her sentence, but she had no such luck. “Me,” she said softly. Twilight nodded. What can I do? Tempest thought, feeling increasingly uncomfortable as the silence dragged on. She closed her eyes as she remembered the comfort she had felt when Starlight had hugged her just minutes ago. With no better ideas springing forth, Tempest shot a furtive glance at Twilight, huffed, then awkwardly wrapped her forelegs around Twilight’s neck.
Twilight stiffened and locked her forelegs around the railing.
Gods above, I’m making a fool of myself, aren’t I? Tempest thought as Twilight didn’t move an inch. She sat back, waiting for Twilight to say something that would soothe her worries.
“Um...” Twilight glanced at her with a single lifted eyebrow. “What was that for?”
“I, uh... I was just trying to make you feel better.” Tempest ground a hoof into the balcony and flicked her head, feeling little pin pricks all over the back of her neck. “I just did the first thing that popped into my head,” she said, sighing as her ears flicked back. Aren’t hugs supposed to make you feel better? That one just felt weird.
“Well, while a hug was entirely unexpected, I appreciate the gesture. Too bad a simple hug won’t keep me from having more nightmares, though.” Twilight fluffed her wings and yawned. “So you said that you didn’t sleep well last night because of Starlight?”
“Yeah. You wouldn’t happen to have any empty rooms, would you?” Tempest rubbed the back of her neck. “I don’t think I’d be able to sleep at all if Starlight and I shared a room,” she said, followed by a short laugh.
“Same. I had to use a sleeping spell the first few nights after she moved into the castle. With these nightmares making me wake up every couple of hours, I just might use that spell again tonight.” Twilight nudged Tempest’s shoulder with her own, then stood up. “Come on, I think the bedroom beside mine is open, and then we can meet the others at the farm.”
Tempest doesn’t have a high enough Hugging level to be effective.. she needs more practice.
Nice chapter. In the midst of my hype I read this way quicker than I should have.
Can't wait for more, good job! Really looking forward to see how things will develop, especially the relationship between twilight and tempest.
I believe i found two tiny mistakes
I think there is one now too many.
Similiar thing, i believe that is one please too much.
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Fixed those, thanks!
So far, I'm liking this story a bit more than the others with a similar premise. Time will tell if that holds up though.
Also, Starlight having a snoring problem was kinda funny.
I think yours is the best story with such a premise. (You can never go wrong with Abyss , anyway.)
Make sense than Tempest would be awkward enough at cheering up someone.
I wonder if there will be any fallout from the fire in the next chapter , since the news of it seems to have spread...well , like fire.
Mr. Abyss, You did such an excellent job at creating this storyline that it seemed like I was watching an episode of MLP FIM. Nothing seemed taboo about the characters' actions/behaviors, and Starlight's lesson on friendship and working smarter seems like something Hasbro would put in one of their shows. The way which you had Tempest behave perfectly matches her character: From her destructiveness with fire and ignorance of friendship, to her awkward hugs. I can tell that you're more of a dialogue person than a visual description person, as there were some missed opportunities at beautiful imagery, like when Tempest was outside burning debris, or when Twilight and Tempest were on the balcony together. I think that if you added a few more visual descriptions in the future, it would be more appealing to read. You're pretty damn good at describing what a pone looks like (facial expressions/body language) based on how he/she feels,.
I would also like to point out that no one truly knows what Tempest's "real" character is, as we have only seen her dark side and a petit slice of her friendly side (which wasn't really anything at all during the fireworks scene). Although her character is up for interpretation, YOU, Mr. Abyss, has hit the nail on the head when it came to defining who Fizzlepop Berrytwist is. I have no elaborate way of saying this, but the way you made her out to be "just works" and fits in well with what we want her to be in this story. Even outside of this story, her character that you developed will be mirrored in the next season of MLP FIM. Great job so far!
Forgot a quotation mark there. Don't know where it went. lol.
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Tempest ate it because she was so hungry.
Fixed that, thanks!
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She's a silly pony and no problem.
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Well, if you like serious romance with a side of fluff and snuggles, then you're gonna be in for one hell of a ride!
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Hug 25/75 (Fallout reference)
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I know of the series, but have never played a ‘Fallout’ game.
Excellent job on this chapter & it was worth the wait. Tempest's stubbornness right now will no doubt be a bit of a problem as she tries everything in her power to redeem herself & to all of Ponyville
Also,
Who was Starlight dreaming of? I hope it was Twilight, I kinda wanna see a love triangle in this story
I wish upvoting chapters was a thing so us nontalkative readers could show appreciation for each chapter.
which filly was she talking about?
maybe in the future she should help, but right now she should let Tempest do her thing.
Oh come one Starlight, just because she is still acting lika a guard it doesn'T means she can'T have a good day.
Sorry I just got a vibe of Starlight trying to change Tempest for 100%, to a point where Tempest is going to be as ineffektive as other guards because of her behavior when being on duty.
Well it is your story, I just don'T know why Tempest should suddenly be so stupid to burn the town down. The helping thing could be a bad side effect, but I'm not sure if she was "really alone" and had not a few ponies walking around that could get help (which would probably not arrive fast enough, but anyway).
I cam empathise about the coffee. I work nights, well one year i got jury summons. That took all day.
Yep, good intentions, poor planning. At least leaving a letter that let everyone know what she was doing would save Tempest at least some trouble.
But determination and common sense don't always intertwine, do they?
Ah well, at least a plan is kind-of formed now, and Tempest can throw herself into helping as best as she can. And Starlight's advice is perfect - working smarter is good.
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I highly recommend that yu check them out. They're great games lol
Tempest used awkard hug. Super ineffective...for now
media.giphy.com/media/bEvQzecJohmOQ/giphy.gif
I get finished reading the second chapter only to find a third?! What magic is this?
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It's the magic of friendship. :P
Quite good so far, best Tempest past movie story I've read so far. I like how you haven't just waved a magic wand and made everyone love Tempest, nor make her love herself, watching her redemption is sure to be enjoyable. And then there's the realism, of course Canterlot wasn't the only attacked city.
Now, on that note, I think you're wrong to consider that all, or at least that's what you seemed to imply, of Equestria's cities have been attacked. It's more likely that the Storm King's forces swept their way through Equestria to Canterlot and expected to expand out from there. So, Dodge Junction (sometimes referred to as Dodge City, dunno ifn they've figured it out yet), Appleloosa and Ponyville were in their direct path. Coming from the south-southeast, they might've also hit Baltimare as it's southeast of Canterlot, Fillydelphia is questionable too as it's east of Canterlot, but everything else is fine.
Of course that doesn't mean recovery is going to be easy, standard military practice would be to destroy lines of communication and if they don't need them, transportation, and since they got airships... Well, that's means train tracks are likely trashed at Canterlot, more likely outside of it, meaning that for example supplies from Manehattan won't be able to get much past Hollow Shades, maybe Neighra Falls, and likely unloaded where ever there's flat ground rather than at a station, and the train will have to back up until it hits the next major city. Said supplies will then need to move slowly overland. Yep, recovery is going to take a while.
So, how would this impact Equestria?
Celestia and Luna, coordinate the recovery, review defenses (perhaps it's time to resurrect the EUP) and do goodwill tours to keep moral up.
Cadance would be in charge of relief efforts as the Crystal Empire is in the north where help will be coming from
Twilight gets southern Equestria, she'll be in charge of figuring out what needs to be fixed, where and when.
All able bodied pegasi will be drafted into mail service since there's no trains to move it
Royal Guard pegasi will be in charge of moving communications between government institutions
Wonderbolts will be used for high speed/emergency communications between the same (that means Rainbow will likely be assigned to southern recovery efforts)
Possible side stories
The Crystal Empire is currently a protectorate of Equestria, will it's citizens use this oppurtunity to re-negotiate their position?
Will the Yaks and Buffalo help with the recovery and how so?
Will new towns and villages spring up where the rail way has to stop? After all, those rebuilding the tracks will need a place to live while they work, and then there's supplies and maintenance for the trains, unloaders, shipping coordinators, and so on. Lot's of people will need someplace to live temporarily, and some of those villages will likely remain afterwards.
Will the nox (bat) ponies come out of Hollow Shades and help with rail work and messaging services (over night mail?)? Perhaps this is their time to shine and re-integrate, as we haven't seen much of them in the show yet.
•wipes his brow• Ffwooee, that was a lot wasn't it? Still, just suggestions/AU ideas for you, none that contradict what you've done so far (Twilight likely only has limited info so far, especially as the princesses are likely still trying to assess the damages), and offer a lot of meat for this and future stories, so have fun.
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She's gonna get more practice in Chapter 4!
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Heh, you might wanna go back and re-read it, then. I hinted at a couple thing for future chapters.
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There won't be any fallout in the next chapter, but the possibility certainly remains for future chapters.
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Thanks for the long comment; I really do love getting those.
Coming up with Tempest's character in this story was very puzzling at first. I needed to find a way to keep her old characteristics intact while doing my best to show her in a better light. You're right; the movie only showed us a small snippet of what she's like when she's not trying to conquer everyone and everything in sight, and I feel like I've done a fairly good job of interpreting her character.
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At the point that this story is in, I want to keep that pony anonymous for now, where I let the readers choose who she was snuggling with. If I decide to ship Starlight with someone later in this story as a subplot, then her dreaming about snuggling with someone gives me a way to start that ship. If I decide to not ship Starlight with anyone, then it remains what it is: a cute scene with a cute pony.
Current Status: twittling my hooves waiting for the next chapter release...
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I'm almost done editing it; I decided to add a little more to a certain flashback scene to make the end of the chapter hit the reader harder. I'm also catching up on the comments from chapter 3.
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While that would be a neat feature, I value a comment a lot more than a like. Comments are the main thing that keeps me going for writing stories, after all!
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Remember when Tempest walked into the castle for the first time and that little filly looked up at her in fright when she recognized her? That one.
Tempest wasn't acting like a guard. She was just staying silent.
Tempest lit the fire in the middle of the night around 4/5 AM. Nopony else was awake, and the majority of Ponyville's citizens are sleeping in Twilight's castle all the way across town. If the fire got out of control, Tempest would have to run back to the castle and wake up everybody. She just wouldn't look that good if she kicked open the front doors of the castle with Ponyville in flames behind her, ya know? Ponies would think she turned on them, and react accordingly. No doubt a few of them would run and tell Twilight that Tempest lit the town on fire and that she's terrorizing ponies downstairs. Naturally, that wouldn't turn out good at all.
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I'm just excited! No worries here
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Heh, just you wait!
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You want more? Well, you can have more in a few minutes! New chapter is coming out real soon!
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And just like that, you've made me think of a beautiful idea: Rarity goes to check up on her store in Manehatten, where Tempest goes along with her to ask her for advice about a certain purple pony.
You raise a fair point here, but when it comes to invading another country, you simply cannot take out the capitol alone and think that you've won. There are other military bases all around the country; in Equestria, while they don't have a standing army, there is no doubt in my mind that there are a significant amount of ponies that would want to fight back. If you truly want to successfully invade another land, you have to take control of each major city at the same time.
That's another very interesting point. While I like the way you're thinking, if I did write something akin to this, I'm not sure if it would be so drastic. Still, it's a good idea, so I'll have to dwell on this.
Thank you so much for the long comment! Like I mentioned to another, I absolutely love getting long comments. Comments in general are my main motivator for writing new chapters.
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Well that certainly isn't something I didn't know. Expect many long comments from now on!
Tempest's eyebrow rose as her ear flicked forward as she watched Twilight as she stood in the hallway as Spike walked by with a Tart as Flurry Heart sneezed as an Owl hooted as Celestia sneezed as...
As is overused in fiction. It's nice and flexible for concatenating actions, but every use dilutes and weakens the narrative, I've found. Removing it completely makes a massive difference: