Chapter 2
Tempest gazed out the window, her chin laying flat on the windowsill as she listened to the calming hustle and bustle of the city below. She hadn’t moved from her spot in hours, and even though her rump was sore, she felt no desire to give it rest. In her mind, she deserved to be punished. She hadn’t allowed herself to eat for three days. She had not dared to allow her eyelids to close when the moon rose, for fear of the most chilling nightmares. She could not bear to look even the meekest earth pony in the eyes.
She was grateful she had been able to shower each morning, though she was even more grateful for the fact she hadn’t been thrown in the dungeons—at least, not yet. As each day passed, she worried that possibility might turn into a stark, unyielding reality. She had weighed several times during the deepest dark of the twilight hours the gravity of her transgressions. Against all reason, hope had driven her to imagine the most fantastic belief that she could be saved from the jaws of retribution. Still, deep within her heart, she knew the certainty of her impending punishment was as clear as the severity of her crimes.
Her thoughts drifted to Twilight. Tempest had such a wonderful time at the celebration with her, but after Twilight left her alone to get them some refreshments, four royal guards had swept her back into the castle. Celestia and Luna spent many hours interrogating her, and she wished that she had shown them remorse for her actions.
She didn’t get a wink of sleep that night.
Her ears flicked up as she heard the many locks on her door simultaneously unlock. She pushed herself up, turning to face the door as it swung open wide. She stood at attention as Princess Celestia walked into her tiny room. Twilight trotted in after her, a wide smile on her face. Tempest’s hopes rose as she returned her smile, but when she glanced up at Celestia, her hopes fell like a pegasus without feathers.
She prepared herself for the worst.
Celestia held her head high. “Tempest Shadow, due to your actions of high treason, levying war, and unlawful restraint, Princesses Luna, Cadence, Twilight, and I have agreed upon a suitable punishment for you.” Celestia let a warm, gentle smile slide on her face. “And I think you will find it more agreeable than the alternative.”
Tempest’s eyebrows furrowed. Why is she smiling like that? “I... I don’t understand, Princess.” Her eyes flicked back and forth between Twilight and Celestia.
Twilight took a couple of steps forward. “Let me explain... Instead of throwing you in the deepest dungeon we have here in Canterlot, Princess Celestia has offered me the opportunity to take you on as my student like she did with me. After all that has happened, there are still some... personal things I need to work out with you, but... if you’ll accept me as your teacher and friend, then I’d be up to the challenge.” She held out her right hoof. “Are you?”
That certainty of imprisonment that had seemed so apparent moments ago faded away, but relief was hardly its replacement. While still technically a criminal, Princess Twilight had offered her hoof in friendship. With the knot in her throat tightening with each second, she fought to press on in the confusion. Her eyes slipped down to Twilight’s hoof. “I... I don’t know what to say,” she choked out, doing her best to blink away the tears forming in the corners of her eyes. She fired a quick glance at Celestia, praying that all of this wasn’t some sort of cruel trick.
“So what say you, Tempest?” Celestia’s smile widened as she nodded towards Twilight’s hoof.
“I... Yes, I humbly accept,” she said, tentatively placing her right hoof on top of Twilight’s.
“Excellent! Get your stuff; I’m gonna take you to your new home,” Twilight said, gripping Tempest’s hoof tightly.
“Um... I don’t really have anything.” Tempest rubbed her foreleg with a hoof, casting her gaze upon her old set of armor. “And I don’t need... his armor anymore.” She kicked it with her left hind leg, denting the armor she once cherished and wore with pride. “It’s worthless to me now.”
“If you would like for me to dispose of it, I would be happy to do so,” Celestia said.
Tempest nodded.
Twilight cleared her throat. “Very well. I still need to pack all the stuff I brought. If we’re lucky, we can take the evening train back to Ponyville!”
Ponyville? Oh no... Tempest winced, praying that Twilight wouldn’t notice.
“It was awfully nice of Celestia to let us use her personal train car,” Tempest said. They’d left the train station an hour ago, and it was the first thing she had said since they’d stepped inside. She was laying down on what she considered to be the softest couch in all of Equestria. Her head rested upon a thick, soft pillow that she clenched between her forelegs.
Twilight placed a bookmark where she’d stopped reading, then set her book aside. “Yeah... I know what you mean. She was afraid that your presence could have caused an incident with the other passengers, but…” Twilight took a moment of pause. “Well, some ponies take longer to forgive than others. Some may hold grudges against you for the rest of their lives, and there’s nothing you can do to change that.”
Tempest sighed. Her actions earlier that week sprang to the forefront of her mind, sending a shiver down her back. With the great terror of imprisonment no longer hanging overhead, sleep tugged at her eyes, but she felt that there was an elephant in the room that had to be dealt with first. She licked her lips as she let her eyes momentarily slide shut, then said, “We need to talk.”
Twilight’s ears flicked up as her breath caught in her throat. “Yes, I believe we do. What’s on your mind?”
‘Well... none of this feels... right. I invaded Equestria! My armies destroyed anything they came across and they enslaved everypony.”
“You betrayed the Storm King when it mattered most, though. You saved me and my friends from being turned to stone for eternity.”
“Yes, at the very end. But before that, I chased you and your friends out of Canterlot and all throughout Equestria. I forced you and your friends to jump out of a perfectly good airship. I threw you in a cage and ripped away your magic, all for a very selfish reason that ended up being fruitless in the end.” She pushed herself from the couch and started pacing. “I just don’t understand why you princesses think I should be let off like this!” She huffed. “I deserve to be in prison, or even turned to stone!”
“Well... you’re not being let off.” Twilight sat up. “All of us thought we could give you a second chance. I’ve, for lack of a better word, reformed a couple of ponies that were nothing but trouble. You might meet one of them tonight when we get to your new home.”
“Okay... two questions. One, my new home?”
Twilight nodded. “You’ll be living in my castle with me. We might have to rearrange some stuff to get your new room set up, but we can make it work!”
“But why? Why do I get to live in a castle after what I did?”
Twilight sighed, then slipped off her couch. “Because I want to keep a close eye on you. It’d be easier to teach you what you need to know if you and I lived in the same place.”
Tempest paused. “I can understand that, but...” She shook her head. “Anyways, who is this pony I might meet tonight? You... reformed her? How?”
Twilight sat down in front of her. “Her name’s Starlight. It’s a long story, but... she used to run a town in the middle of nowhere where she controlled everypony’s lives by taking possession of their cutie marks. To be honest, I don’t know which is worse... having your magic or your cutie mark taken away.”
“She took your cutie mark? How is that even possible?”
Twilight gulped. “...With very advanced magic. She is quite the talented spellcaster, after all. You too are more similar than you might think.” Twilight gazed out the window. “But my friends and I prevailed, and drove her out of town. Things seemed okay for the most part until she returned looking for revenge.”
“I... I think I remember reading something about this a while ago in the paper,” Tempest said. “There weren’t many details, though.”
“Yeah... She affected the timeline so that I never would have made such close friendships with my friends. Such a thing would have drastically affected the fate of Equestria, and as a princess, I couldn’t stand by and let that happen. To make a long story short, I offered Starlight my hoof in friendship and took her on as my student, much like I have done with you,” she said, followed by a short yawn. “And now she’s a good friend. Do you have any other pressing questions?”
“I... I have a lot, yes,” Tempest said. “But those can wait. I’m sure you had a long day.”
“Yes. Yes, I did.” Twilight lit her horn and pulled a pair of blankets out from the overhead cabinets, levitating the first to Tempest and the second to herself. She hopped back up on the couch, curled up, and swished her tail around her side as she tucked the blanket in around her. “And I definitely wouldn’t mind a quick nap!” she said with a giggle.
Snatching the quilt from Twilight’s magical aura, Tempest hefted it on her hoof, then unfolded it as she returned to her own couch. A soothing warmth seeped into her fur as she draped it over herself, pushing her ever closer to sleep’s grasp. “Same here. There are a couple more things, though.”
“Of course. What’s on your mind?”
“Please tell me you love coffee as much as I do.”
“I love coffee! Why do you ask?” Twilight’s eyes flicked up to meet Tempest’s as she grinned. “I can’t live without it.”
“Because I’m gonna need at least a gallon of it to keep me awake tomorrow. I... haven’t slept at all since the celebration.”
“Heh, you don’t need to worry. Spike and I have a huge stash of the best coffee Equestria has to offer; we have at least a three month supply!”
“Wow, really? That sounds lovely...” Tempest rolled onto her side and closed her eyes. “How much longer is it gonna take before we get to Ponyville?”
“About a couple more hours,” Twilight replied with a yawn.
“Very well.” Tempest licked her lips and let sleep take hold of her. The next two hours passed in near silence with her drifting in and out of a restless slumber. The train finally rolled to a stop and blew its whistle, startling her awake. Tempest stood up and stretched, letting loose a yawn as she arched her back, pointedly avoiding looking out the window. She rubbed her eyes with a hoof as she feared Twilight’s reaction to the damage wrought upon her hometown, then walked over to where Twilight lay. “Hey, Twilight?” She placed a hoof on her shoulder and shook her. “I think we’re h-here,” she said, her heart pounding in her chest.
Twilight cracked her eyes open, the blanket falling down from her neck to rest on her back. “Wahuh? Home?” she croaked out. Pushing herself up, Twilight peered out the window and gasped.
Ponyville was in absolute ruin.
The roofs of entire houses were missing. Piles of burnt wood lay in the streets. Windows were shattered.
Twilight couldn’t breathe. My home! She bolted from the train car, her eyes wide as she galloped through town. She screeched to a halt as her eyes fell upon Rarity’s boutique. It was shuttered up, a pale imitation of what it once was. A poster bearing the Storm King’s face with the word ‘OBEY’ was plastered above the door. Her upper lip curled as she lit her horn, using her magic to tear it down. Even though it was the middle of the night, she trotted up to Rarity's door and knocked three times.
Nopony came to answer her call.
A whimper forced its way past her lips as the sickly smell of burnt wood filled her nostrils. She couldn’t move. Her eyes clamped shut, unable to take as much as a tiny peek, lest she lose what little remained of her strength.
“T-Twilight?” came Tempest’s voice, meek and soft.
Twilight’s head snapped up, tears brimming in her eyes. “Not now, Tempest,” she said, her voice low and rough. She turned away from the boutique and trudged away, her head hung low. Twilight’s entire body trembled, but she forced herself onward. Looking up into the night sky, a single comet raced through the heavens, a sight that did little to calm her racing heart. She looked down, her gaze finally settling down upon her home. It was mostly intact, though there were several deep scratches along the bottom floor; the beasts had most likely used her home to sharpen their claws. All but a few of her windows were gone.
She stood at the base of the steps leading inside. One of the doors was missing entirely, the second clinging to its hinges. Twilight lifted a hoof and placed it on the first step. “I... I...” she whispered, her mind unable to take it all in. She collapsed upon the steps, her chin slamming against the cold stone. Stars burst into her vision.
“Twilight!” Tempest rushed to her side. She wrapped a hoof around Twilight’s left foreleg, but it was shoved away with a burst of magic before she could get a firm grasp.
“Don’t touch me,” Twilight said. “I can do this.” She pushed herself up and walked inside. Sleeping bags, tents, and blankets littered her grand entryway. Ponies lay scattered across the room, most of them fast asleep. “I... What’s going on here?” she asked nopony in particular.
Mrs. Cake stood up and walked up to her. “Twilight! We were wondering when you were coming back. I hope you don’t mind us using your castle, but... it’s basically one of the only buildings here that has four walls and a roof. Most of us have families, and—” A single look from Twilight made her pause.
“I understand the gravity of the situation, Mrs. Cake.” Twilight laid a hoof on her shoulder. “You and everypony else can take as much time as you need.”
“Bless your heart, princess,” Mrs. Cake said.
“I’ve had a long day, and I need to get some rest, but please help yourself to my food if you need it,” Twilight said, fluffing her wings. Mrs. Cake nodded once, then walked as quietly as she could back to her family. Unable to talk to anypony else, Twilight flew upstairs, the darkness hiding most of the damage. Soft voices came from further down the hallway, and when she rounded the corner, her eyes fell upon none other than Starlight and Rainbow.
“Twilight! You’re home!” Starlight said, her eyes lighting up with glee. She ran up to her and pulled her into a tight hug. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” she said as she sat down, letting a smile slip on her face. “Your friends told me everything. I tried to keep those... things from getting inside, but... there was only so much I could do before I was captured.” Her smile faltered, then a smirk grew on her face. “You should have seen me, though. I put up one heck of a fight!”
A dry laugh forced itself from Twilight’s lips. “I’m sure you did, but... are you okay? They didn’t hurt you, did they?” Her eyes danced across Starlight’s body, searching for bruises or cuts.
Starlight shivered. “Well... they put me in chains, muzzled me, and placed one of those magic blocking rings on my horn. Aside from being pushed around for a couple of days, they didn’t hurt me that much, but... what about you? Are you okay?”
Twilight closed her eyes. “No.”
Starlight nuzzled her cheek, then pulled her into another hug. “If you need somepony to talk to, I hope you know that you can always come to me,” she whispered. “Always. No matter what.”
Twilight wrapped a single leg around her friend’s back and buried her muzzle into Starlight’s neck. “Th-Thank you,” she managed to say. “I might be needing you sooner than you think.” She glanced up, spotting Rainbow still sitting further down the hall. She let go of Starlight and took a few steps towards her. “Rainbow?” she asked, making her look up. “What’s wrong?”
Rainbow groaned. “I... I’m h-homeless.”
No... That’s not possible! How could they have even reached her... oh, right. The airships... Rainbow’s words shattered Twilight’s heart into a thousand little pieces. “What do you mean?” she asked, wondering if Rainbow had truly spoken such horrid words.
“I’m homeless, and Applejack, Pinkie, and Rarity are homeless. Dunno why, but the only place they didn’t touch in all of Ponyville was Fluttershy’s home. She took in a lot of ponies... the rest came here.”
“I... I don’t know what to say.”
“Me neither.” Rainbow walked up to her, then sat down next to Starlight. “So what happened with Tempest? I didn’t see her anywhere after the party.”
Twilight glanced over her shoulder.
Rainbow groaned, grinding a hoof into the floor. “Don’t tell me she’s here.”
Twilight sighed, then nodded. “She is... somewhere. It’s a long story.”
“Whatever. I’m going to bed,” Rainbow muttered. She flew to her room and slammed the door shut.
“So... where is Tempest?” Starlight asked, cocking her head to the side. “I’m guessing she came back with you? She run away or something?”
“I’m not sure.” Twilight groaned. “Let’s go find her. I can’t imagine she’s having an easy time.”
Tempest lifted a hoof to walk inside Twilight’s castle, but placed it back down just like she’d done for what felt like the twentieth time. She had heard voices come from inside, one that she didn’t recognize, talk about how most of Ponyville’s population was taking shelter in Twilight’s home. After seeing what her actions had caused, she couldn’t find it within her to look upon those she had displaced. In stark contrast to her usual confident attitude, she couldn’t take a single step forward.
But she knew in her heart she had to.
With her heart sinking into her stomach, Tempest climbed up the steps, taking care to avoid the many wooden shards. Pausing in the doorway, Tempest gazed inside. She couldn’t bear to look at anypony as she walked through them all, weaving in and out of the hodge-podge of tents, blankets, and sleeping bags.
Moments before she reached the staircase, she heard somepony whimper. Her ears perked up as she lifted her head once more, her eyes locking with a light green filly’s a few feet away. Their eyes shone brightly in the pale candlelight, full of life and hope as they looked her up and down.
But then something changed.
They grasped their teddy bear tighter, fear leaping to their face as they looked at the remnants of her horn. Their eyes widened in recognition. Tempest’s shoulders slumped. “H-Hey there, little one,” she said with a smile, hoping to give relief to somepony so precious, only to hear her whimper again and squirm away from her. Tempest closed her eyes, forcing herself to keep her composure. She wrenched herself away from the filly, even though her mind, body, and soul yearned to give her a modicum of comfort in such trying times.
Hearing Twilight softly call out her name, she glanced up, spotting her at the top of the stairs. She nodded once, then lowered her head in shame. She made herself walk up the stairs, each step more difficult than the last. “Twilight...” she murmured as she reached the second floor. “I—”
“I know.” Opening her wings, Twilight flew past Starlight, heading straight for her bedroom. Landing in front of her door, she folded her wings, and before she could even so much as lift a hoof or light her horn to open her bedroom door, she heard somepony gallop up behind her.
“Twilight... I’m not sure you want to go in there,” Starlight said, her tone full of unease. “They... didn’t go easy in there. Maybe you should let me spruce things up a bit before—”
“No.” Twilight shook her head. Lighting her horn, she gently pushed her door open, then gasped. Her mattress was torn to shreds, her favorite blankets and pillows missing entirely. Someone had ripped out all of her drawers, then stomped on them until they were nothing more than smithereens. Her cherished dresses, especially the one that she’d worn to her first Grand Galloping Gala, lay in the middle of the room, ripped apart and stained. Her windows were missing. She set her gaze on her dresser, praying that the monsters had at least left the one thing she depended upon each and every morning.
Twilight’s heart stopped beating.
Her friendship mirror was shattered, and her favorite pictures of her friends lay ripped on top of the dresser.
She numbly walked up to it, staring at her broken reflection as tears obscured her vision. The sadism accompanying the attack on her castle was clear; they had gone to special lengths to destroy the things most precious to her. “W-Why? It meant nothing to them,” she choked out, gingerly touching it with the tip of a hoof. A single shard of glass fell from the mirror, clattering to the top of her dresser. Hearing somepony’s hoofsteps behind her, she focused her gaze on the mirror again, locking eyes with the one who caused her so much strife. Tempest... she thought, visibly shaking as she watched her stop just outside her bedroom.
Many moments passed in silence as one waited for the other to speak up, their eyes never wavering or blinking from the other’s.
“I know you probably don’t want to see me right now, but... I must say something.” Tempest bowed low, her muzzle brushing against the carpet. “I swear to you, and to all the ponies that my actions have affected, that I will do everything in my power to make things right, even if...” She took a deep breath as she lifted her head. “Even if it takes the rest of my life.”
I... I can’t. As tears dripped down her cheeks, Twilight looked away and lit her horn, pushing her door shut.
Tempest bit back a whimper, then closed her eyes.
“It was you?” Starlight breathlessly asked. “You were the one who did all of... this?”
A single tear slid down Tempest’s cheek. She nodded once, then looked at her.
Starlight’s eyes narrowed, then she relaxed. “Come on, you,” she said. “Let’s get you a place to sleep, and then we can start fixing things tomorrow. You’re not the only villain that Twilight took in, you know.”
Tempest blinked a few times. “H-Huh? Wait, are you Starlight? Twilight told me a little about you.”
“All horrible things, right?” Starlight giggled. She rubbed the back of her neck. “Anyways... just give Twilight some space and she’ll come around. You’re very lucky to have her on your side.”
“Sure doesn’t feel like it now.”
“Yeah... It’ll get better, I promise.” She wrapped a hoof around Tempest’s neck and gently tugged her down the hallway. “There’s a spare bed in my room you can use. Spike’s fast asleep in the room next to ours. He just fell asleep a little while ago, so try to be quiet, okay?”
“Okay,” Tempest whispered. She walked down the hall after her, only stopping when Starlight opened a door on her left. She followed her inside, shut the door as softly as she could, then turned around in the dark room. Starlight had already flopped down upon one of the beds. Tempest cast a longing gaze over the other bed, then trudged towards it, wondering if she even deserved such a luxury. “You already know my name, don’t you?”
Starlight nodded.
Tempest sat down on the edge of the bed. “Well, it’s nice to meet you; you seem like the only friendly face here. I just hope I can make things right, because all of this?” She gestured around with a hoof. “It’s very overwhelming. After all that’s happened, I don’t think I’ll be able to make any friends here. It feels like Twilight is being overly optimistic.”
“All it takes is one, Tempest. All it takes is one.” Starlight rolled over onto her side. She shot her a warm smile, then said, “And you can count me as one of your friends, but only on one condition!”
Tempest fought back a groan. “What might that be?”
“I’ll only be your friend if you don’t snore like a freight train out of control!”
Tempest laughed. “Oh, yeah, about that...” She bit her bottom lip and glanced away, her tail swishing about on the sheets as she scratched the back of her neck. Starlight’s eyes widened, making her giggle and drop the facade. “You don’t need to worry. I don’t snore at all.”
“Phew! You had me going there for a few seconds!” Starlight said, using her magic to pull the sheets up to her shoulders. “I think you and I are going to get along...” A yawn made her pause. “Just fine...” Minutes later, Starlight was snoring like a freight train falling down Canterlot Mountain.
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Hmmm... needs more clop... 4.8/10
Well Ponyville should be back up by the end of the week. They have the tendency to do some rebuilding and this will hopefully be only temporary housing.
8524061
That's coming soon! Gonna call it Open Up Your Legs.
Meh. It's nothing special.
So heartbreaking, but a very good start! I'll definitely track this!
that was awesome! Loving this story so far! It feels very believable and very well put together. I cant wait to read the next chapters to come!
8524086
My thoughts exactly! See, this guy gets it.
Well, has my attention. Looking forward to this.
You certainly seem very proud of this story and put in a lot of work. It shows. This is amazing, and I can't wait to read more!
The scenes were vividly described and so were emotions and thoughts of the characters involved, which really helped to immerse me in the story. I especially liked how you executed Twilight, Starlight and Tempest though.
Twilight acted just how I would expect her to act. Caring and with a desire to help other ponies -in this case Tempest- out. And while she respects her fellow princesses and former mentor, she will push past them if her beliefs so require ( I really liked that scene).
I think she really shined in the second chapter though, because here she faces the repercussions of her ever-forgiving nature. Seeing her home in ruins forces her to face the fact that Tempest WAS a real villain, and probably puts her believes to the test ( I'm looking forward to more of that internal conflict that was hinted at ^^ ).
Tempest has to fight through remorse and regret, and I think you really captured what she is going through well. Self destructive behaviour becuase you think you deserve it, fear of punishment even though you know you deserve it, and hope for forgiveness even though you know you don't deserve it. All of those emotions were shown and coupled with how stellar the writing is in general, it was a real joy to read.
Starlight feels completely in character, especially after "shadow play". Being a former villain herself, she believes in redemption and immediately acts as a friend towards Tempest out of sympathy. Her behavior was fittingly kind, while the ironic joking around that is always present with her isn't amiss either.
Overall you and your editors did a fantastic job, and will hopefully ( and likely ) continue to do so in future chapters
I think I spotted one little mistake though :
I think you meant to use "two" not "too".
I might be mistaken however.
8524076
You two are terrible!
In all seriousness, Abyss, loving the tone you’ve set. I’m getting a I’ll Always Be Here For You emotional vibe, so I’m very much looking forward to see how you delve into Tempest’s psyche. Not to mention Twilight’s reaction and how she’ll grow.
Only slightly saddened that there’s no TwiDash shipping. It’s your fault, too, thanks to aforementioned story.
Oh I cant wait for more of this ;3;
Ooh this is promising. At the end of the movie I was thinking yeah, I ship it. This is a new favorite ship (although all ships that I ship are my favorite ship) for me, sadly haven't encountered much that's captured my interest. Will read as soon as I have time.
*shudders* phew.... I love how you handled this chapter. The descriptions of the damage almost made me want to cry as if it was my own home. And poor Tempest.... I just want to hug her and tell her no one will hold a grudge and she'll make friends soon.
It took me a bit to realize Ponyville had actually been ruined and it wasn't a dream sequence. It blew my expectations away. Very well done. Can't wait for more.
8524404
Yeah. If you look at the scene where Twilight gets pulled up on deck while in her cage, you can see Ponyville and Sweet Apple Acres smoking. When I watched the movie, it only seemed like Canterlot got healed with the magic, so it makes sense that Ponyville is in ruins after all that went down. I'm glad you like the story! I'm already a page and a half into chapter 3, and it should be up in a week or so! I'm so into this story that I'm planning updates every week to a week and a half.
8524402
Yeah, same. I really felt for Tempest in that scene. I just wanted to hold her close and snuggle her.
8524383
Here's the link if you wanna check it out.
If you like TwiDash, I have a 94k word shipfic (and a sequel that is in dire need of an update) about how Twilight and Rainbow struggle to adopt Scootaloo and get her away from her abusive parents. It's full of really cute family-building scenes, snuggling scenes, and a beautiful ending that just makes me wanna squee.
8524135
Very well said, and thank you for the very long comment. You have no idea how much I love getting those!
As for the mistake, you are correct, and I have already fixed that! Thanks for pointing that out!
8524428
When a story is worth it, I feel one should leave a long comment. If a writer puts in the effort to create a piece of writing that is ( in the personal opinion ) amazing, i like to say just why i liked the work so much, because i think it's probably appreciated by the author. from what i've gathered so far, it is ^^
I kind of hope, that when she wasn'T able to sleep at all, that you maybe managed to show that in the story.
nnnnnnnnooooooooooo somehow I like her with her armor.
one part of me is saying "yes probably no equestria girls here", another part of me would find that kind of interessting. However to often I see it being done pretty much badly in my eyes, if they use that kind of crossover. (I'm not sure if you could call it that, but I believe they haven'T exactly shown it to be canon to the show yet, even if I had seen some weird picture and if it is no fake then it might happens.
I have nothing against Sunset, but the stories on this site sometimes make me doubt, that it would be such a good idea to includ her to the show. In the show it would be probably somewhat alright, if they use a nice personality for her and don'T ruin her, but at the same time I fear what this maybe means for the stories. I'm already not that happy with Startwirls being back, but since Starlight existed the possibity of more unicorns than him being strong, isn'T such a fairytale anymore.
Hhhhmmm I kind of have high hopes for the story, the last moment with Starlight and Tempest kind of getting along instead of one acting like they where superior, it looked pretty nicely to me.
I know it has to be hard to Twilight, but I got a feeling she messed up pretty big while reading this. I mean I thought any moment the whole town would attack Tempest, because Twilight just ran away from her to cry in her room. Well it didn'T happend and them just being totally in fear of her, was a nice thing to see too. I mean to see the more meekly ponies again.
8524601
Her friendship mirror isn't the thing that leads to the EQG universe, it's the mirror that Twilight has in her room that has all of her favorite pics of her friends stuck around the edges, so that when she wakes up and looks in the mirror, she's surrounded by all of her friends. I forget which episode that was from, but I think it was the one where Twilight got Starlight her own similar mirror.
8524645
To be honest, I actually haven't read the comics yet, so I know nothing of what happens in them.
8524655
They're actually not too bad, and Sombra's are some of the best. Suffice to say, without spoiling too much, explosions can't keep the evil king down.
I'm dead.
I'm counting on you, Starlight.
Anyway, this was a great start. I'm looking forward to seeing where this story goes. I instantly adored Tempestlight after seeing the end of the movie, and it finally gave me a ship that I liked for Twilight.
Damn...did not expect this...wow.
I've been wanting to read one of your fics for a while, as a fellow adoption writer and all, and this fic is pretty much a lot of things I've wanted all in one. I like how you consider all the problems that would plague Tempest and Twilight's relationship--I ship them quite a bit, but this fic shows that they've still got a lot to work out and I admire its complexity.
Can't wait to see where it goes!
8524950
Thanks!
This shipping fascinates me. Maybe it's because the character is interesting, or maybe it's because the character is new which is something I've been missing in this fandom...
I can only read so many TwiDash fics before I go crazy.
This story is doing lots of what I haven't seen done with Tempest stories!
I love all of the detail put into this, what happened to Ponyville and even to Twilight's own items. Can't believe you went there but that was a good twist.
Well, well, well, Abyss you have my full attention. I'm very interested on how this story (& Twilight's soon to be relationship with Tempest) plays out considering on how well written & depressing tone your story has started off.
It seems I found a mistake with this!
Yay me! 
In case you don't know, the quotation mark isn't at the beginning, just an apostrophe. 
Loving the shipping story so far!
I like the direction this is going. I will say it seems a bit over the top with how Luna was reacting. If nothing else she is coming off as a bit of a hypocrite.
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And suddenly I'm being recommended Twidash? That's a first.
8525314
I agree. I personally try not to use Celestia for that reason if I can avoid it. I know I wold portray her poorly. Sad because she’s my favorite princess. Luna I feel is different. She’s still like a angsty teenager who hasn’t quiet grown up yet like Celestia has. So her going off the deep end, like we see in the show, is far more realistic than her being regal rand reasonable all the time. That would be forgivable as long as it isn’t over done. But even good authors would have trouble I think geting that well aged wisdom down without living it ones self. That’s just what I think though.
awesome story so far
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ahhh I think i ignored the friendship part in the name. Thank you.
8525314
I understand that, I just assumed the show wants us to believe that they are equal and for that she shouldn'T have that kind of secret I guess. I'm not sure if I care about that at all, I just assumed it was meant to be like that.
I believe I know in which direction this is going, but a long live doesn'T has to mean, that she always learns the right stuff, or that her ideas only get better the longer she lives and all that stuff.
8525314
not sure how you mean the last part, but i understood that you were more or less saying, that the personality or characters get more interessting as closer they are to the other races right?
Well I really liked Queen Novo or Tempest the most in the movie, because I felt like their personality was a bit more unique from what I usually get to see there.
No matter which theory or whatever golden rule they can think of, I like it more if the ponies actually have to learn how to get used to others as well and not trying to make angles out of anybody who is affraid to even say something like "butt".
Some theories can be fun and some stuff is probably true from the show itself, but not everything has to be used like that. Not every logic that most authors use has to be used, in some chases I say "hell this is a fanfiction, I won't be mad if something slightly unusual happens!".
Of course there would be (ideas) stuff that let's it turn out really weirdly, but other changes can be pretty interessting.
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Sometimes I get the feeling they want to turn every character into a sweet little harmless girl with an angelic personality.
This is more something that I see everywhere in many stories, I'm just glad that they kind of let Starlight being Starlight and haven'T completely turned her into a 100% harmony follower,
I swear i just saw this story on the Featured list and it said "From Lost To Lewd" but when i scrolled past it and back up it ws normal again!!!
Starlight: „Do you snore?“
Tempest: „No, I don’t.“
Starlight: „Ok!“ *starts snoring like a chainsaw*
8525266
Fixed that. Thanks for pointing it out!
Ok. You have my atrention. More please*readies hunting rifle*Dont make me come looking
Well, we’ve got a decent setup. Not the way I would have characterized a couple of people in a few scenes, but it’s made out to be a solid opening to what appears to be a good story following.
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I wouldn't personally consider a discussion of the death penalty to be deserving of a Dark tag.
Huzzah! I'm glad my favorite authors are tackling the movie canon, and I like the picture you're painting so far. The aftermath of the occupation is something that needed to be addressed properly, especially if a believable romance will blossom. I hope this continues with the same momentum it's starting with!
you know what i noticed a while ago.. it seams that every pony that twilight meets and reforms is somehow stupidly more powerfull then normal unicorns. the only thing that they all have in commen is hate..... so really... hate is the best teacher for magic. if twilight really hated celestia. she would be unstoppable :P
So who's down vote spaming the comments?
All the descutions seem civil.